DAYZ (Zero Punctuation) 

I was once exploring a town and suddenly a player ran in to the hangar, garage area, gushing blood like a fucking fountain and collapses on the ground due to blood loss. I then tear off my shirt, rip it into rags, and bandage the poor bastard before leaving a couple cans of food for him (and they were even opened for him). Shortly after I did this, the guy woke up, looked at the food, looked at me, and said "Thanks" in chat. He then pulled out a pistol and shot me in the head.

"it was like the Pied Piper set his flute to the murderous setting." that line was hilarious.

A little late to the party, but I think I've got a neat ol' story about karmic retribution. So I'm going along my way, with enough supplies to last me some in-game days, when I see someone mewling over global chat. "BROKEN LEGS" "BLEEDING" "HELP ME" I calmly reply to him, "Where are you located?" He tells me he's in an aircraft hangar, and I realize that's not too far off from me. I immediately dart over there to help him out, and find him bleeding to death in a corner. The guy went unconscious, so imagine his surprise when he wakes up fully-patched and rearing to go. But then, I hear a shot ring out from nearby; out of sheer luck, I moved just enough that a sniper shot hit me in the gut, rather than the head. I nearly black out from the hit, and I frantically turn on my mic. "Run! I'll hold them off!" I shout. I immediately grab my own rifle and return fire. First one cracks someone in the head, they're down. Another 2 start running at me and peppering me with rifles. I knew I was dead, but I kept doing my best to keep them busy as the guy ran. Lo and behold, as I'm running the bandits for a loop, the guy I saved somehow circles around, grabs the dead guy's rifle, and starts helping me to pick them off! We end up flanking them and killing the heavily-armored one, but not before I keel over dead from blood loss. I hear gunfire, and it seems to stop. I thought, for a moment, what I did ended up pointless, and roundabout now, the remaining bandit's looting me and the other guy. But seems the amount of sheer fucking divine luck hadn't ended yet, because not but 4 minutes later, I run across the same guy I saved! He's decked out in that one asswipe's ghillie, and he tosses me the sniper's rifle, my old magnum, and even pointed me to where he stashed all my other stuff. I was amazed! We ended up tag-teaming the server for the next several hours after that.

10 years ago Yahtzee was dismissing “dad games”, and now he’s become a proponent of them

"Then I paused to have a little drinky" might be one of the best zp lines ever.

Look at all these DayZ stories. All I have is "I spawned, spent an hour just to find a rotten kiwi but starved anyway. End." That's all that game is for me.

My sociological analasys of DayZ's development from a zombie survival game to a PvP survival grief game is something along the lines of: 1. Players master the game in greater and greater numbers. 2. With zombies not offering a challenge anymore, they search for a challenge elsewhere; humans. 3. When players start to be killed in greater and greater numbers by other players, they themselves become angry, apathetic and start killing fellow players themselves. 4. The evil spiral continues. It's a phenomenon that I'd like to call "Cultural Corruption" within the Community of a video game, where bad behavior spreads to other players. It also carries a striking likeness to the outbreak of a zombie apocalypse by design, ironically.

I was playing Unturned, which is basically poor man's Dayz, and I had a short but fun experience so I'll post it here. Here's my story. So I joined this server. Everyone there had much better gear than I did so I kept getting shot or run over. Until I found a massive base at the shore. And when I say massive I mean the-guys-that-made-this-are-probably-server-admins-and-spawned-most-of-this-stuff-in-massive. So I'm there, starving, buck naked and with no weapons, and decide to enter their base and see if there's any goods to steal. So I jimmy the door open and begin scouting out the base, taking great care not to get spotted by the owners. There were next to no storage crates and the few that were there were filled with crafting items which were useless to me. So I start making my way over to the exit when I find a high-end gun on the floor. To my delight, it was still fully loaded. So I grab the gun and go over to one of the base owners, who was too busy building to pay attention to what's going on around him, and shoot him in the back of the head. He spews out a whole fountain of food and high-end gear. I arm myself to the teeth and kill all the base owners before destroying their beds so they can't respawn in their base anymore. Then I fortified my new death fortress and started picking off the ex base owners with my sniper riffle every time they got close. Then I was banned.

Is it story time? Okay I got one, one on the lighter side of the DayZ spectrum. So I'm playing a custom map, one with more metropolitan style areas with apartments and all that jazz. At the time I had average supplies of food, but a REALLY swanky rifle, military grade, good sights, lots of ammo for it, the works. Lo and behold tho, I end up getting right fucked by a mob of zombies and end up hoofing it up an apartment building with almost no HP left. In no condition to fight and only having about 4 bullets left (I did a lot of shooting prior) and no other ammo or a hatchet, and with about 10 zeds coming to munch on me, I realized I was several steps past "Fucked". So being the kind of guy I am, I informed Global chat of my location, and told them the first one here to kill the zombies and put me out of my misery could have my rifle and my gear. Within a couple seconds I get a response, and within about 3 minutes, I start hearing suppressed pistol fire. Sure enough shortly after a Ghille clad man walks through the door. I tell him about the rifle and how its really good, ask if he's got space for it, and to my surprise, the guy starts patching me up. Here I was expecting him to cap me and take the loot, which is what any other person would have done. But then he heals me to full, and after I thank him, he just gives me an encouraging: ":)" in local chat and then goes along his merry little way. Most of my time playing DayZ was realizing that all people are assholes. And then this guy comes along. What a perspective shift that was.

my story is a happy one of dayz. I spawned in a field near a farm, and thinking "goodies await me inside" because it was my first life, I ran in. I found a gun with no bullets and a shovel. my friends I was in a skype call in (and took several hours to find them) were like "not bad for the first 5 minutes". I then broke my leg by walking downstairs. thinking I had been shot, I hid in cover, and then another person was coming with a gun, I decided to hide in some long grass, but that didnt work, so he said "you alright mate?". I replied "I broke my leg, please have mercy". he was also new to the game as well, so he said "why would I do that?". I asked if he could help, and he couldnt. I couldnt be bothered to crawl everywhere, so I asked if he could shoot me. he had no bullets as well, so he decided to punch me until I died while saying "goodnight sweet prince". he was friendly, until a person ran up to us, shouted at us in russian and shot me. that took 10 minutes. I then fell off a crane when my friends found me in my next life.

Well looks like Yahtzee predicted Chris Pratt as Mario with that opening bit. Will his psychic manifestations never cease?

The guy who revived him will forever be a legend.

Apparently I liked dad-games since I was 13 years old.

"When ever your character starts moving its as if they have a fucking tumble dryer attached to their head" I completely agree the head bobbing it totally ridiculous and I find it extremely hard to focus while I am moving in that game.

DayZ proves Hobbes' state of nature. When shit hits the fan, everyone will fuck up each other before being fucked up.

If you look at a pro run-through of this game, a good tip is their interactions with other players: Don't show yourself until you have loudly and clearly told the guy to put the gun on the ground and/or rearranged their innards from behind the nearest bush. It makes life much more agreeable, not to mention longer. I personally like the game, but then again I liked all of the ArmA series as it felt like something refreshingly different from the "sprint-shoot-jump" shooter games that seem to be taking over the world at this point.

After I heard "massively shake up the formula and recast Mario as a brash intergalactic smuggler piloting the Yosh-1 through the imperial controlled Mushroom Nebula" all I wanted was to get Yahtzee on nintendo's design team one way or another

once a feel off a 1 story building and broke my legs and crawled wearing a cowboy hat and found a shotgun with no bullets in a building, then a player came to me I said KILL ME and he gave me a paprika THE END

man, i remember the very first time i spawned in stand alone day Z i was sitting there trying to figure out the controls when a guy in a boonie hat and olive drab clothes showed up and held me hostage because i was initially acting weird (was still figuring out the controls) but eventually i learned how to talk and he let me go once we communicated. he offered to take me with him to elektro to meet with his mates and was teaching me about the game when this guy started coming down the road with a shot gun. at first i thought it was his mate but he pointed his gun at us and told us not to move, the boonie guy put his hands up and told me the button to do the same. as the shotgun guy was passing us he was trash talking so the boonie guy thought to challenge him, and call his bluff. the shotgun guy aimed at his head and pulled the trigger, and with an audible click we confirmed that the shotgun was empty. an argument which eventually turned into a huge fist fight ensued and i was thrown into the fray trying to help mr boonie and punch at the shotgun guy best i could, occasionally hitting my new friend in the confusion and vise virsa. me and boonie guy (who probably hit each other more than we did our adversary) were knocked out and the guy stole boonie's crowbar (too bad he didn't have time, or just didn't think to pull it out in the first round before fists started flying) when we woke up we resumed the chase, joined by yet another fresh spawn who told us he saw the guy after he was informed of our situation. not even 4 minutes later me, boonie guy, the fresh spawn, and shotgun guy were all in a massive royal rumble which ended with me bleeding due to a certain stolen crowbar being used against us, the shotgun guy escaping, and boonie guy/fresh spawn trying their best to help me. i eventually passed out but one of them bandaged me. unfortunately nobody had an epi pen so there was nothing else they could do, i heard them speaking aloud about my situation and roaming around in the immediate vicinity searching for epi pens before wondering off. the last thing i heard was the boonie guy saying he was sorry. i lay there hoping id wake up but eventually i just called it and respawned. i spent the rest of that day trying to find elektro to get back to them but never did, i wondered for the longest time if they ever made it and survived. :c ill always remember this experience because it was literally the perfect representation of dayz. a good player, a bad player, a fresh spawn bystander making a split second decision to help, and lots of confusion and violence. even though it ended sadly for me i still herald this as my greatest dayz moment. i felt really lucky and glorious in those few moments, most people spawning for the very first time get no introduction into the world of dayz at all. let alone one of that caliber. it was like a fucking scripted event. almost like a tutorial that shows you the ropes in a helpful way, shows you that there are good people out there, before also showing you that life isn't fair, the good guys dont always win, and the world is a cruel place if your not careful. i wish i could have recorded it. the bonus is, it even taught me a lot of lessons. both game play wise, and morally. the point is, say what you will about the community being mostly jerks, but the players really make that game what it is. the good guys and the bad guys both make the world feel so alive despite it being really dead.

1:52: that sir, is the so called "gmod" method

Never played DayZ, but from what I've heard, it seems to me like one of those games meant for private servers- like minecraft. Griefers galore.

Lol "And then every door in the street flung open and fuckin hell, it was like the pied piper set his flute to the murder section!" Love that.

"Re-cast Mario as a brash intergalactic smuggler piloting the YOSH-1" Hmm did Yahtzee predict Chris Pratt cast as Mario all those years ago?!

Your reviews do a great job capturing the feeling and up/downs of a game thanks.

DayZ is one of those games that seriously made me wonder if, should modern society not exist, we humans wouldn't try to survive, but rather beat each other to death with rocks until one last man is standing... Which then proceeds to tea-bag the now dead remains of his species before being eaten by a lion.

The later I stay up, the more the opening of these reviews sounds so bad ass I head bang.

Once it gets the point to where you can't trust anyone I start to feel bad... I met a group new players, they were looking around the military base for guns, I was there all alone with my brand new pistol... at first sight I knew I going to die... 3 minutes later I was being yelled at by 15 year because apparently I'm not supposed to shoot people in the leg if they run at mean yelling "Help, the zombies killed my friends"

Dayz is making a comeback

Truly, "At best unreasonably cruel" is one of the greatest lines I've heard to describe anything, ever.

"Then I paused to have a little drinkie," lives rent-free in my brain.

That dude with the bloodpacks possibly postponed yahtzees inevitable emotional death by some weeks at least

I think he should review this game again cause now they have the Standalone version that he could play which fixes some of the things he complained about

First and last time i played DayZ was when I found a knife to use as a weapon. I found 4 hats, and became a bit of a hat salesman. People gave me food and drink, i gave them Hats. The 5th person asked what my name was. I just said "Gabe Newell, I sold him hats for TF2". I got shot, and i never played again. I need to get back into it and become the Hat Salesman those 5 people knew about.

One of my favorite "go to" ZPs. So many nice touches and anecdotes that I enjoy. Other than the sniping, I had similar DayZ Experiences.

How did he know that they would cast Mario as the intergalactic pilot

FRANKIEonPCin1080p makes near perfect dayz videos...

To this day, i feel like that guy was a dev or some other insider

I tried minecraft hardcore. I worked really hard, like, I had a cake and everything. I spent about 3 days on it. I never thought about how I'd feel when I died. So I started building a tower in the middle of the ocean, so I wouldn't die if I fell. The third time I fell I landed on a lower part of the perfectly straight tower and died. To qoute Deus ex, "What a shame" Really, I was so sad.

I admittedly burst out laughing when he said "and then I paused to have a little drinky"

can’t believe this video is almost 10 years old

I once got trapped on top of a building...out of ammo with a player waiting down below to kill me. Suddenly, a player appeared before me (right in my face) and I killed him with my hatchet. He had just logged on and had spawned where he had left the game. He had guns, ammo ect. I then quickly killed the guy below who was waiting for me. What a high! I died 3 minutes later when a RPG was shot at me! Dayz being hard to learn is what made it fun.

When they finish this game, I'll totally buy it.

Ah, the dinner bell. A classic weapon.

"oh a gun did it belong to that dead player? why is the window broken?" *dead* This is DayZ in a nutshell

Fucking brilliant

I enjoyed this game, until bandits told me to drop my pants and "squeal like a pig."

i had to google it, but i now get the biro joke

Video, why you only 240p?

Truly a paradise for the "Clubs" subtype documented in Bartle's Taxonomy.

100 YEARS ALPHA MORTY

My first dayz impression. Spawned at cap galova and instantly got head shotted by a guy with a sniper on the light house.

The best way to play DAYZ is having friends in the game you're in. Say you're in a game with thirteen people, if 9 of them were your allies, you won't be getting sniped every fucking time you raise your head out of cover. Also, the worst way to play DayZ, play it as a newbie. Not only will you actually see zombies as a serious threat, any player will needlessly agro you and relentlessly kill you.

You know, I want to see him do Infestation: Survivor Stories. That'll be fun.

I've told others this, too: I like fighting online. It, as some are quick to point out, suits my ego. I couldn't have more fun if I tried.

My first playthrough I immediately found a machete, and killed almost 600 zombies as I circumnavigated the entire map with impunity. I saved a guy. Another guy saved me, once. I got to go for a helicopter ride. Finding silence golden, I had maybe fired three shots the entire time, which in each case led to a near-death experience and got me all shook up. I then made a life decision to spend the rest of my dayz as a wise old sage, living in the woods to hunt rabbits, tend my fire, and teach newcomers the ways of tending fires; that is, until my isolation left me to die of an unspecified illness, because antibiotics were the one thing I hadn't relentlessly hoarded. I realize this isn't the typical first impression most people have of the game, of course -- even thought it must be my mastery of sensory awareness and a purity of instinct at play, as usual -- but then I changed servers...

4:50 Well whattya know, the standalone already has splints in its early alpha stages

My favorite moment in this game (well the shitty standalone version) was when this guy walks up to me and starts reciting the bible through the microphone while having a gun pointed at me. Seeing no other option I decide to punch him but miss and he ends up shooting me in the head. After re spawning, five minutes later I'm killed by a bunch of zombies. A man tries to help me but it's too late, the screen is black and I'm dying of blood loss. I soon realize that it's the same man, and he yells into the microphone: "wait, that's *insert username*!! YOU FUCKING BITCH"

spot on so perfect laughed so damm hard

This version is so much better then the standalone one. That is 30 dollars I will never get back.

You forgot to mention that the zombies were programmed by Walt Disney's blindfolded tied up corpse!

Why do human players kill each other in this. I don't your first thought in a zombie apocalypse would be to kill all of the survivors you come across.

Arma is actually very fun, I wonder if yahtzee will ever get over the whole "video games must have jet packs and Lazer sharks to be fun" bullshit.

"A situation that a smoke bomb and a swift knee to the man purse may reverse!" This is by far the best thing yahtzee has ever said

Hey Yahtzee!! DayZ is out >:3

@Gameerturtle: i read this today like 50 times does that mean my parents will die in about 250 years? seems about right -.-

My first time playing Dayz I spwaned in and 5 players rushed me did something to knock me out put m in there car and I woke up 10 mins later in a camp with 13 other new players. Then they made us 1v1 each other until there was one left. Some how I won and they give me a lot of guns and other shit and let me go. After 2 mins of walked one of the guys ran me mover and took the shit back.

"i heard a rumbling as every door in the town opened" i'm to lazy to go back into the video to finish the quote but that was the best line ever, it literally made me laugh like mad

the Lee-Enfield in that version of the mod earned its self the nickname 'the dinner bell' for obvious reasons

Ohhh, shame on you, Yahtzee for not reviewing New Super Mario Bros. 2. That game was fun! It was also short, but still fun.

You should review 7 Days To Die, its basically minecraft and dayz's one night stand and minecraft was not there to take care of the child

You seem like a Dwarf Fortress person :3

My best recent story from Day Z started with a beautiful morning when I found a stun baton. Pleased with my new find being filled with the battery from my torch I walked into the nearest town desperate for food. In comes a random stranger with a shotgun, not seeing me at first so I decide to leave him be. He later finds me and takes a pot shot, missing by inches. I run into the local police station, hide in a room and lay down, hoping he would leave me alone. Instead I hear him coming up the stairs, so I pulled the baton out and waited. He opened the door, missed me again and I knocked him out with the baton, leaving him unconscious upstairs. I shut the door behind me, no point letting a zombie get him I'm hardly a monster. Shortly however he woke up, ran outside and started shooting at me again. Hungry and frustrated, I gave up being nice, ran at him taking a shotgun shell and bleeding profusely and stunned the guy. I promptly took his shotgun, waited for him to wake back up again and shot him square in the face to the sound of "Hasta la vista, baby". I hope he learnt his lesson that day.

This review is one of his best imo. I've seen it a bunch of times and it still makes me actually laugh, as opposed to just jadely saying internally "that was funny/clever. well done you"

On point as always Yahtzee 👏

Ah yes the games like dayz show us that humans are just horrible animals who will kill and eat each other when the chips are down. So yeah the Joker was right....

Alright pro gun-control people, this is one of the cases where you have an argument. Edit: Lazy fingers didn't type "gun" originally.

I am surprised how good this random encounter with a random video on randomtube turned out. Nicely done.

I want you to write my papers, Yahtzee. Your analogies are gold.

Another good game killed by hackers.

The reason why so many were shooting each other on site was due to how boring DayZ really was at its foundation. You spend 98% of your time wandering aimlessly for loot and when you finally encounter another player you immediately want to shoot them to have at least a brief pause from the long and dreadful five hours of monotony that came before it. Things only start getting interesting when you cross paths with another player, and the game being a complete slog the rest of the time, so it should not be surprising you got so many shooting each other on site when PvP was the only interesting thing the game has going for it. There is nothing interesting to do in DayZ besides shooting the occasional player that you cross paths with. If they put more interesting things in to do besides taking pot shots at every player you see I imagine there would not have been so many players shooting on site. This becomes most evident should you survive long enough to get the best gear and all the items your character will ever need. If you manage to achieve that, there really is nothing left to do in the game besides shooting at everyone else you find with the powerful gear you have. You just do that until you inevitably die at some point then just repeat the whole process all over again of gearing up and then using that gear to piss in the cereal of all other players you come across.

I hate this game for PvP. Yes, I know that's like saying I hate Minecraft for mining, but getting a gun and then being sniped isn't fun, you know.

Oh man, the "feel for the patterns" line is one of ZP's best.

whenever i'm bored, watching zero punctuation is my default activity

If this game is so realistic, can someone tell me how your player got to this point without having any weapons or food or anything usefull at all.

The Standalone version of this game taught me to never ever ever buy a game in Alpha/early access. EVER.

Funny he should mention the boring ultra-realism of Arma 2, since I suspect that might be a reason nobody I know who plays Arma uses it for anything other than the original DayZ before it became standalone, multiplayer with shitloads of mods, or creating the fucking apocalypse in the mission-editor mode.

Funny thing is back then, the Lee Enfield was actually the loudest gun in the game. You fire one in the street, every zombie on the map comes sprinting to u

I think I laughed way more than I should. Specially at the part of "hacking through conga line of zombies I've attracted".

From having friends who constantly pester me to get DayZ, and the bits of gameplay of it, and this, sounds like DayZ is the worst thing ever made.

This game is so fucking over rated

Such a completely over-rated game mod. Waste of my money.

"At best 'unreasonably cruel'" Quite accurate

The Piper joke had me falling out of the chair laughing.

It will never come to console for the same reason ARMA will probably not. It's to big and demanding. Consoles cannot handle the power required to run simulators like ARMA, DCS, or stuff like that. Consoles have difficulty running PS2 and war thunder. ARMA 2 blows those out of the water with resource demands. ARMA 3 would annihilate a console. If it dose happen, it won't be for a couple of years.

trustnoone.exe

All you people talking about griefers... How about you stop being bambi's and just learn to evade. I can tell you right now, having done it all when i played DAYZ, a running and zig-zagging target is pretty much impossible to hit. Especially when the target has something to occasionally hide behind. Which is why i was never killed on a spawn point... Unlike you sorry "PvP is bad buaaaaaa" kids. Without PvP, DAYZ was as challenging and interesting as arranging icons on your desktop. Without PvP, everyone would be running around with AS50 sniper rifles and never use them because "precious ammo" for some silly reason. Ammo is used against other players. Why else do you need ammo? Shooting a zombie is just wasteful as they re-spawn the moment you re-enter an area. If you want the Hello Kitty experience then i suggest you play Hello Kitty. For everything else, either play with friends or get so good at the game that it doesn't matter that the whole server is trying to murder you.

DayZ is a good representation of what nearly everyone would do when they have a gun (or a weapon at least) and you don't in a zombie apocalypse.

I would love to see Yahtzee's reaction to The WarZ

I bet if this game game out for PS4 or Xbox 1 i bet that half the PC gamers would leave and join the console god like race, where as the last remaining PC gamers will be the one to stupid to not be able to afford a console because they wasted all their money on anti virus programs, terabytes of HD space and made more room for dedicated space for graphics... And On my way! can't afford the luxury of the godly console... A sad story to be told but true none the less, Just kidding the console is already better as it is that adding this game would be like adding a drop of water into a lake, tee hee

this may be the way I describe dayz everytime someone asks