Jocko is an untapped resource for recruitment videos. His words are cross service branch. Hearing him speak on things inspired me to get back in shape. It's slow going but I'm making progress. I know I wont be what I was at 18 when I enlisted but at least I wont have man boobs and that's a win in itself.
I am a 20 second year college student, that spends everyday at school and my free time training martial arts or with my girlfriend. It is 11pm on a tuesday, and I'm at my university's library doing math homework and extra credit for a communications class. Your podcast helps to keep me fired up and continuing on the path, pushing through mental and physical fatigue. Thanks for the inspiration. -Adam
Some of these guys are surprisingly well adjusted,especially for the high stress situations they wld hv often been in. Jocko seems like one of those buddies you're drawn to and that's always great to have around. I've learned through alot of years that there are friends on many different levels,but if you're truly blessed there's that handful of friends in your life who are a true gift and make you a better person just by being around them and that you actually can learn just by observing those outstanding qualities they posess. These are the friends I have been truly thankful for.
You have to ask, how much shouting have they done in their lives to get voices like that? Sounds like my voice after screaming at a 6 hour rugby match.
What I tell my kids is that it is completely ok to get angry, mad, whatever. What isn't ok is to act on it. Just feel those emotions, acknowledge them, and move on.
Awesome insight Jocko! Yes, as a combat veteran in OEF and OIF you learn to control your emotions. There are six human emotions and anger is one that you must control in order to enable you to perform and lead your team during stressful periods. Fear is another emotion that one must control in order for you to accomplish and lead effectively. Every normal human feel anger and fear, its how you control them to enable you to perform and accomplish your job.
I can appreciate where you're coming from. In a gun fight, obviously, Joe Rogan - or virtually ALL humans on our planet - do not win that fight against Jocko. However, you should know, that if Jocko and Joe were both on the mats together it would be highly competitive. I would even say it's a coin toss as far as who submits who. I don't think it's productive, at all, to create this false dichotomy (Jocko's favourite word :P ) where there's either "...guys that actually are Fighters." OR everyone else. Maybe you're just messing around or don't really care what I have to say about it. I only wanted to weigh in on that because a lot of young men might see your comment and go "yeahhh fuck Joe Rogan..." when they should actually be listening to a lot of things he has to say :D
7:33 WOW I never would have thought I'd have something in common with Jocko! I'm an elementary school special education teacher, and MANY parts of my job are high stress, but the *one time* I can feel myself nearly going to cry are those fucking printers and copiers!!! And that's even with me being savvy in them!!!
Jocko I wanna thank you brother. I've only been following your podcast for a short time but as a marine veteran with issues of my own I wanna thank you because your podcast has helped me refocus myself to my tasks at hand. Thank you brother again.
Another fine example of why I’m a fan! Parts of my life I’ve been so disciplined and controlled my anger, other times no so much. Awesome way to kinda break it down.
Test does NOTHING for you if you're a meathead know nothing. Old FB post by Leif; Hey Donald J. Trump, take a look in the mirror. Back off our next President Carly Fiorina #Carly2016 See how FLAT and WEAK that looks reading it now? Yea...
its so nice to see that these guys deal with the things that i/we are dealing with. being straight up and honest about their situations with their goals of overcoming. i really do appreciate it because i can reflect and grow. stay strong
My routine from when I drive to work @0530. Listen to jockos podcast on my way to work with my protein shake. I literally was listening to the 2nd podcast with Leif, heard this from that podcast. Awesome!!! Humble!
I watched this again in the aftermath of a heated argument with my boss. And I had to humbly relearn the discipline to keep calm, de-escalate and detach. At the end of this snippet, I could not help but feel a deep sense of loss that the Delta Platoon Commander did come on at the live podcast at New York, where even the meanest bad asses cried, even though we never knew the Delta Platoon Commander personally. Yes, we will never quite understand why the mystery of this life. The best way to honor those who sacrificed so much for those of us still living, is to be grateful, and get after it every day until that day in heaven, there is joyful reunion of all the mighty warriors and heroes. Stay Faithful and grateful always. Semper Fi.
I got into a really heated argument with my mom and I was really trying to figure out how I could prevent this from happening bc it’s been more than a few times and this was really beneficial and I hope it improves me and her relationship
All you talk about makes absolute sense. What I'd like to know, and I'm sure others would as well, is HOW does one gain the DISCIPLINE to de-escalate or detach oneself when you're about to lose it??? Love your podcasts.
First of all, Leif is my spirit animal. I spent part of my life unhinged. I experienced consequences and had a good anger management disciplinary therapist, who I cooperated with regardless of the fact that I don't like her. Their primary objective was accountability. AKA extreme ownership. I learned rather than jump through the hoops. Secondly, I view anger like a loaded gun. They say open carrying is legal but not necessarily safe. Some of the more egotistical individuals might feel threatened and feel a subconscious desire to assert dominance. I'm unsure how true that is, but based on that theory, I would say that showing your anger to others is the exact same. It's like a display of dominance when you chose to show it to others. In turn it would be provoking to others. I also understand that humans subconsciously recognize subtle cues, expressions and gestures. The primitive instinct is for them to emulate the emotion back in most cases. We all have primitive instincts which is the entire purpose of self control.
I can't help but think that your ability to remain calm, detach, and de-escalate are 99% due to your life experiences in comparison to what you go through today. When you go through the toughest of tough situations, where decisions involved the ultimate in consequence, everything else pales in comparison. Meanwhile I open the refrigerator, the ketchup falls out of the door shelving onto the floor, and now I want to rip the door off of the refrigerator and throw it off the balcony. Why did I get so worked up for something so benign? Why did THAT get control of my emotions? Is it that I'm weak in that regard? Yeah probably... but WHY. Well - I don't have the perspective of HARD life experience. Yeah I know OF those situations, but I didn't LIVE it. It's very hard to put that into focus.
R this is a pretty articulate way of saying that. I can completely agree and understand where you're coming from. I see it day to day as a former Marine working with mostly college kids
A lot of soldiers are unable to control their emotions after dealing with warfare and cannot adjust to civilian life. If you believe in what you commented you will always have an excuse for a lack of self-control. You can control your emotions if you decide to control them and practise/learn this control till you get better at it. At the same time that level of anger sounds a little extreme so you may need to really look at releasing that anger/resentment/frustration and you might need help from someone else. Either way I wish you the best. Jocko's book (Discipline) has a great chapter about self-control called 'Mind Control'.🙏
I love you the way you said this. I might be wrong, and smarter people than me may comment but I think what you said ties into what David Goggins is always saying about put yourself through something that sucks every day to harden your mind.
This is very intuitive but I would mention that mindset falls under perspective. It's true that armed service does train for high stress in order to be able to do the things they say such as detach and de-escalate. That doesn't mean they're experiencing life with different feelings. It's just what it is; mental training/focus and expectations IE perspective. You can train yourself for high stress and expect that you will need to use your training and be in the same mindset. You don't need to have your life threatened to realize your life can be ruined by poor choices and thus necessitate and initiate the proper training and practice. The first step for de-escalating and detaching is the STOP and WHY so next time you get pissed just yell both to yourself and self check. Verbally the first few times then mentally then habit formed gj.
The way you took a step back, deescalated, and pointed out an explanation of why they needed to keep vigilant and holding them accountable was more receptive than the traditional ass chewing because punishment tends to distract and cause people to simply focus on how avoid punishment. But the coaching you gave them instead provides a sense of ownership and personal accountability that builds the kind of character that performs well when nobody is looking. I have a knee jerk reaction I picked up from somewhere that wants to chew ass, but looking back at the second approach (coaching moment) you gave them is also where I strive to be in leadership. I think each approach has its place, but most likely, coaching works best. Great discussion and great take-away for me.
I agree with Jocko...well with both of you....I respond well to getting in my face if I'm slipping up. And I think those are the kinds of guys you want on your team. But there's also a time, to put your arm around the dude's shoulders and pick him up by being more positive too. Depends on the situation--you're in combat situation--yell away. Comes from having a baseball coach who yelled at us a lot--but we KNEW he was totally committed to us and was always in our corner. In the end, Christ is the alpha male--perfect self control. And there was a time to throw tables over in the Temple of our God.
Thx guys , another great podcast especially at minute 5:40 in my opinion :-) YOur videos help me to be a better leader and a better teammate *BIG THX!*
The few times I got really angry and lost my shit with someone were the only times I was truly honest and it removed that terrible person from my life.
Maaaan, it's horrible to just have to those sudden outbursts. Specially when you're a calm and stoic person. It freaks people that are close to you out. I been on both sides on the fence, but it happens and we learn from it. 😆 Love the video guys!
I debated against Leif’s sister in high school. Brilliant and super nice lady. Leif’s brother played Spider in School of Rock with Jack Black. Now he’s the DA back in their hometown in East Texas. Father is a US Confressman. Interesting family.
Good stuff guy's, great advice & I think personally speaking I think Jocko holds his kewl because of Martial Art's & the discipline that comes along with it...De escalation.. Detachment...
Anger can be a good release valve too. Sometimes it's really good to get it all out, then you feel much better afterwards. The way i deal best with it, is to train hard and get the edge off of the aggression. Then I'm about tolerable for normal life.
Great podcast from Jocko and I agree with everything he and Leif Babin said but I just want to say that anger often times gets a bad rap when in fact, anger can actually be a good thing. But it all depends on how you use it, IF you know how to use it and what you direct it toward. If anger is harnessed to positive ends and positive change and toward a constructive purpose, then that`s the smart way and the responsible, mature and proper way to use anger. It`s the best way to use anger, in my opinion. That`s how I use my anger. Slavery didn`t end because people weren`t angry about it`s horrifying unspeakable evils, inhumanity and unfairness(but I`m sure the Slave-owners were pretty happy about it and possibly some of the ''House slaves''), African-Americans didn`t get civil rights because they were happy about the way they were being treated, Martin Luther King Jr. and everyone else who marched with him were mad as hell and they wanted change, women didn`t get the right to vote because they were content with being treated like second-class citizens, etc. Anger harnessed in a positive way has helped shape the course of history with many different historic events. Or someone who is in a tough situation-whatever that situation might be-addiction, extreme poverty, unemployment, an abusive relationship, homelessness, prison or any other number of trying circumstances and who gets angry about it and decides that they want better out of life and that they`re going to actively work to change their quality of life - that`s using anger in the right way. But unfortunately, many people don`t realize that anger can be a good thing and that it DOES have it`s upside and that there is a right and positive way to use anger. Again, awesome podcast from Jocko but it would have been nice if he pointed out that anger isn`t always a bad thing and that it can be a good thing, too.
Its a weird thing, being prone to flash anger myself although its rare these days. When i was a kid a would be bullishm but i got control of it better now just by being stoic. But every now and then it flashes up in my brain, and it almost feels like your possesed. Im glad i havent lost control over it, because its a little emberrasing when i get that feeling. God forbid i ever open my mouth during one of those moments.
I got the problem pushing it down till it all comes out at one time. Ignoring feeling is something I can do but that still there just sitting waiting to come back just wrong time. Controlling anger is a good thing but not to point were get hot temper once hit breaking point just lost it
How do you deal with road rage? Example, someone behind me honking, high beaming and flipping me off because I didn't run the red light? I got out of the car and approached their car and called them out, they just locked their doors and ignored me. This has happened a couple times and both times they didn't get out of the car.
I appreciate the message - recognizing anger is so important! I discuss anger in the topic of peace in the last video on my channel as well, from a parenting perspective. I hope messages like ours empower people to take control of their peace! I just subscribed to your channel too, keep up the content.
We all lose our cool and it is healthy to express our frustration. But after becoming an NCO, I learn to earn my men’s respect by maintaining my composure, de-escalate, lean with a clear mind, and lead by example.
