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Dealing With The Injustice of Divorce

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In this video, we delve into the challenges that many men face during divorce proceedings. With statistics showing that over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and a legal system often perceived as biased towards women and mothers, men frequently encounter significant injustice in various aspects of the divorce process.
Watch the FREE Masterclass: How to Take Back Control Of Your Life After Divorce
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Your happiness, health and success do not need to be tied to the thoughts, actions or emotions of a woman. Your relationships can be rich, intimate and satisfying without being codependent.
I’ve had the privilege of seeing men of a vast range of ages, religions, life circumstances break free from the codependent cage our culture normalizes and enjoy life and love in a healthier way. I can help you do the same, starting right here with this free masterclass that will show you how to get your ex out of your head and your life back on track:
Free Masterclass: HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
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Additional Resources
GET ACCESS TO THE BETTER BEYOND DIVORCE ROADMAP & APP NOW:
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Guide: Emotional Stages of Divorce for Men & How to Heal within Each Stage
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Dating After Divorce Checklist: Are you ready to date after your divorce?
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Helpful Books for Divorced Men (affiliate links)
► The Full Body Presence - Gives gentle, accessible exercises for somatic processing of emotional pain and trauma
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► The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time
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► Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself - Concrete tools and exercises for rewiring the brain and reimagining your sense of self and purpose
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► Legendary - Inspiration and a powerful perspective for stepping into your potential
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► The Myth Of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture - Brilliant, in every way. This is an amazing resource for understanding yourself and your ex wife and finding the clarity or compassion you need to forgive.
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► Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Help - Intense and well researched. I would recommend this book when you are past the early stages of divorce and have a stable support system in place.
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I’m Rachael Sloan, Master NLP Practitioner, certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce. I've helped hundreds of men move past the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and after a divorce, to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. I hope to help you do the same.
DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment.
▶️ 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒:-
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24 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 50

@timizo691 4 месяца назад

Getting past this injustice is definitely where I am stuck. I gave her everything I had. I protected her for 14 years. I helped take care of her. I stood with her through her cancer journey. After everything she ended it. She set my entire soul on fire. Replaced me with another guy within six weeks. She took my whole life and everything I believed in about the world away from me. I lost half my life with my son. I don’t know how to let this pure rage from her betrayal out of me.

@easlern 2 месяца назад

We have to learn to take more than we give. I would not support a sick spouse. You have no idea whether they’ll do the same when you need help

@TRUTHandLIGHT4809 25 дней назад

23.5 years for me. Be the best. Improve yourself. It feels good

@rowles13 25 дней назад

Same as me

@IzOfficialMarv День назад

I'm really sorry to hear this buddy. Kindly seek God, for he is the almighty Father and with him, all things are possible and he will heal you..

@timizo691 День назад

@@IzOfficialMarv thank you so much for your kind words. You are completely right. God is the only one who can help heal me. I wish she had asked God to help heal her.

@EerilLeeSilent 4 месяца назад

I went through a divorce last year. Im still not over it and I'm not sure I ever will be. "Broken" is an understatement and my entire marriage was an injustice.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 4 месяца назад

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that. Do you have some help/support or maybe a good therapist helping you heal?

@EerilLeeSilent 4 месяца назад

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach I've had a couple of different therapists, nearly impossible to find a good one in my area. I also have ZERO emotional support so the healing process is taking much longer for me

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 4 месяца назад

@@EerilLeeSilent that does make things a lot harder. I might be able to help in a couple of ways - I offer an online program that has a wonderful community of men who are incredibly compassionate and supportive. It also gives you some good tools for emotional regulation, healing identity wounds and making your peace with what has happened. From what you've shared, I would recommend that program along side therapy. There are four types of therapy I've seen make the biggest impact for my clients - Emotionally Focused (you can search for therapists in person or online here: iceeft.com/, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems and Rapid Resolution Therapy (RRT - www.rapidresolutiontherapy.com/) With most of them you can usually find someone online, which might be a better option if in person therapy is limited where you live. IF you'd like to learn more about my program and the role that could play in your healing, please watch my free masterclass. It will give you some tools you can implement on your own, plus an overview of the program and access to a discount - resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register

@JeroenTimmermans Месяц назад

I am going through a chaotic and lopsided divorce and my ex-wife (of 20 years) has shifted gears to friendly interaction a little too soon, which she tries to impose on me for the sake of the kid. I get angry, frustrated and hopeless but everyone in my direct vicinity just wants me to bottle up any negative emotion I might have (it seems so unhelpful to be guided without addressing the emotions), which makes me feel like the girl in your story. It is true that a little voice tells me I deserve this and that's where the actual pain resides. This helped me a lot and made me remember to stay on course. Thank you.

@mw1606 5 месяцев назад

Nice work. I think you could have added that the context of divorce in the US sets us up for this by being in the legal system. The legal system is mostly designed to punish bad people, people that do bad things. So if a guy is dragged into court and punished, they probably do internalize the injustice on a practical level. The courts don't take money away from good people. They don't take kids away from good people. But divorce does, and it doesn't matter one ounce how good a Dad he was, he's still getting things taken away from him, and given to his ex who in my case is a psychopath. And with the number of women who are coached by their lawyers to lie to gain an even greater unfair advantage, well, only an idiot would think otherwise. But in the end the divorce settlement is only to do one thing - divide the assets to decrease the likelihood that the women and children will end up on permanent government support. It's not about good and evil, or even fair or unfair. All they are doing is trying to keep a woman and children from being homeless. The courts don't care for even a second whether the man becomes homeless, so, the system is rigged. But it's not personal at that level, men are just a statistic. No matter how good a husband or father you were and are, the system was going to TRY TO chew you to pieces. Which is why you focused on resilience. Like I said, good work.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

Thank you for bringing up this point, it's a huge one. Most of us perceive the courts as being there to punish bad people... so when the court is doing things that hurt you it feels like you must be a bad person, when that actually has nothing to do with the court's decision making process in these instances. That's going to be a huge help for many men in terms of separating out their identity from the punishment they are receiving. It is not a reflection of you as a person, it is a reflection of the court's rather dispassionate priorities. Thank you.

@anthonyharmon9265 5 месяцев назад

Spot on...100%

@TRUTHandLIGHT4809 25 дней назад

The court does not care about anyone except itself. If it decreed an imbalance, the State/ court get a percentage. Example. If 80 % custody to wife. That requires child support. State gets 80% paid by federal government of the amount you need to pay.

@arniep740 5 месяцев назад

Thanks for this video. Yes, reparenting the inner child was very helpful to me in recovering from the intense emotions the divorce triggered.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

You're welcome. Thank you for watching and for sharing your experience. I'm glad to hear that you were able to successfully reparent your inner child.

@arniep740 5 месяцев назад

Well, it's a work in progress, anyway.@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

@davidcalixte9785 5 месяцев назад

Wow this really spot on. I never thought about this in such a way.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

I'm glad it was helpful. Thank you for watching and taking the time comment.

@timyager6079 2 месяца назад

The dragons we don't slay live to torment our children.

@johnryan3374 2 месяца назад

It is a huge injustice... emotionally, mentally, spiritually, monetarily and so much more. Too many spouses just give up and run away, hoping to find happiness somewhere else, when they should have attempted to work it out. The fact is... BOTH partners have made mistakes, and both need forgiveness and the humility to change.

@TRUTHandLIGHT4809 25 дней назад

When a wife claims she wants a divorce it is the first time the husband is hearing about it. The wife never tried to have a good marriage. She broke away emotionally after several years without trying and then announcing her plan. Not allowing the man to do anything. Not that he needs to

@shepardthinks 5 месяцев назад

Thanks for all you do!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

Hi Shep! Thank you for watching and commenting. I really appreciate it 💚

@Spiderman519 5 месяцев назад

Great Video Mrs. Sloan. The child analogy was on point 🔥🫡

@CallsItLikeISeizeIts 5 месяцев назад

How ironic, that the man she wants to throw away and not fight for family is Thrown out window like a worthless piece of trash, yet that trash cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars. She would rather pay that much to be free, but not spend a dime trying to save anything. Ok I’ll take the check 😂

@ted2136 5 месяцев назад

So my separated cos there is something broken in me? And i neee to be compassionate to that broken part in me. This will hakp me mabage what i am going thru

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

Maybe less broken than wounded... and yes, being compassionate to that part of yourself will allow you to heal. Self compassion is essential for healing, and it's something most of us haven't learned to do very well... we tend to judge and criticize ourselves instead, because that is what was modeled for us as children. Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment.

@ted2136 5 месяцев назад

This will help me address what i am going thru. Maybe that is what i was trying to say. But thinking if this. There might be nothing wrong with me. Not true i am sure because noone is perfect. But maybe in some cases there is nothing wrong with the dumpee. And therefore there is nothing for the dumpee to fix per say. But the dumpee should defoo take the lessons from that.

@anilbalram7768 5 месяцев назад

I get it but you have to manage yourself as a child. There's tons of instances where being overly emotional and open at the wrong time is detrimental. That example with the girl was just the wrong time.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

Yes, children need to learn how to manage their emotions, not suppress them. The practice of punishing and isolating children for feeling big emotions teaches suppression, not healthy processing and emotional management. To teach that an adult would need to sit with the child, offer them love and support, reassure them that their anger is okay and that they aren't leaving because of it... and then help the child feel the anger. Where is it? How big is it? What color is it? How does it move in your body? What does it tell you? This helps the child understand and process the anger without getting stuck in it or suppressing it. The parent may have to be patient, and stay with the child validating them for several minutes before the child feels calm and safe enough to feel the feeling and explore it. That's okay. That's how we learn, slowly at first, then faster as we understand the lesson. The child learns how to navigate the emotion without rejecting themselves or hurting someone else. Unfortunately I've never witnessed a parent or teacher responding to an upset child this way. I'm sure some do... just not nearly often enough. In my opinion there is never a 'right time' to treat a child like the little girl I saw on the beach. It may be normalized in our society, but it's still abuse.

@petercelle1796 5 месяцев назад

Between yourself and Heidi Priebe I am receiving some wonderful help. Thank you. I will check out the masterclass. It’s so hard to move forward and not think in terms of being shattered and shuttered. Steely-up I say to myself- but it helps only in that moment. The cycle of sadness and frustration keeps pushing me into anger and despair- two places that don’t offer much constructive advice. I really resonated with the idea that “I was being punished (thru divorce) by being removed from relationships- 3 grown kids, wife, dog- and moreover, that even though they all still exist physically, the relationship as it was is removed - and that reinforced my despondency. One day, one piece at a time, though. Chin up.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

I'm glad you found this video helpful. I think you'll like the masterclass, it goes a bit deeper into how to heal from all this wounding. Thank you for mentioning Heidi as well, she is a new resource to me and from my initial quick glance at her channel I think she may have a lot of content that I can share with my community that will help some of the men there.

@mikeypingp0ng 6 дней назад

Big fan of the channel so far, but tbh you kinda lost me with this video. The issue isn't that I'm struggling to "get past" injustice per se; the issue, I'm saying, is that she stole my wallet and let's talk damages

@transformed613 5 месяцев назад

Ben, did not use those words. Fyi.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

Why do you say that? As I recall, only he and I were on the call... and I wrote them down verbatim. Are you surprised that he could be that conscious and self aware, or is it something else that makes you doubt this?

@transformed613 5 месяцев назад

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Not to waste anyone's time, but I don't see this dialog help either of us, as you have your style of how you like to transmit positions and points. Rather than let them stand how they may. At around 7:53 you quote character Ben again and speak like therapist would speak not like 99.9% of men would speak. But you keep quoting you wrote it down word for word and maybe some sheep will believe it. Have nice day.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

@transformed613 Only that one line, where he said, “The person who would do those things is probably someone who was injured in a fundamental state of building identity.” It stopped me in my tracks because it is something a therapist might say... and yet here was this man, for whom English is not even his first language (as I said in the video, Ben is not his real name), calmly thinking out loud in these words. I'm only hammering this home because I think it is so cool! A normal guy, someone who just a year before was stuck in resentment and anger, had this level of self awareness and compassion AND had the ability to verbalize it in such a clear way. It goes to show how capable the human brain is of learning and change. This man's next relationship is going to be very different than his marriage, because he has learned not only to understand himself and others in a deeply compassionate way, but to express it clearly as well. I'm sorry you think it's a scam. You're certainly allowed to think that... but you're missing out on the whole point, which is that you don't have to live your life feeling angry, resentful and bitter. There's a whole wide world of awareness, life and love out here. I hope eventually you'll decide to wade in.

@transformed613 5 месяцев назад

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach . I got you. That's the point, you're right. That makes sense to me. thank you for your work.

@mariagarciab 5 месяцев назад

Hey! ❣️🌿🏝️🌸 RU-vid recommended one of your videos, and I must say, you post awesome stuff. I love it, and I want to see you on top! By the way, I was wondering if you or your friend need a video editor or thumbnail designer. I am Mohan, a professional video editor and thumbnail designer with 4.5 years of experience in creating engaging and high-quality videos and thumbnails for RU-vid. If not, please reply with "NO" and I will remove you from my follow-up list. Keep creating amazing content! Best regards, Mohan

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

Thanks, but I have a great editor and thumbnail creator and I'm thrilled with his work. NO. Please take me off your list.

@anthonyharmon9265 5 месяцев назад

Good job Rachael....very useful info! Thank you!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach 5 месяцев назад

You're welcome! Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment.