Death and grief - The stories of a companion for the dying | DW Documentary 

If you family you don’t need a radical looking bald headed woman stranger to be at your bedside.

Ugh horrible thought

@@K-a-n-d-i-s but real

@@n3493 that's exactly why haha no escaping it, the inevitable. The realness of it

Nope not me, i have these exemption papers you see 😂

It’s amazing that the two things that we share as humans are not equally and openly spoken about. For someone like me who has lost many love ones starting at seven years old, I’m 66 now, I have found myself to be one of the few people my friends say they can talk about deathless because I’ve had so much experience. I have no fear at all. I’ve had profound experiences that are proven to me that this is not all there is and I’m not talking about the man-made construct of heaven. My heart breaks for those that fear death because you rob yourself of life while you are alive.

Could you tell me what your patients see?

@@ChocoMogu15 It's hard to say. We don't resuscitate people in hospice, but I can give you a rough idea of what we can observe once the body begins shutting down. Generally, we see all the body functions shut down, one by one, until the person drifts off to sleep. It often begins by the person becoming weaker over time, eventually unable to get up and then unable to eat and drink. At end of life the body doesn't need more energy or hydration as it prepares to shut down, so digestion, hunger and thirst will usually slow and then stop. For comfort, we'll provide moistened mouth swabs to keep the mouth from drying out too much as well something to moisturize the lips. At around the same time, the less important organs will stop functioning, urine will slow and become more concentrated as the kidneys intake and output less. The skin may become drier so we work to keep their body's clean and well moisturized for comfort. We'll see the body no longer needing to provide nutirents to the extremities, so the hands and feet will likely begin to cool and may change colour as the heart is no longer pumping as forcefully to the farthest areas. Along with this we'll feel the pulse becoming weaker and breathing patterns will change. Eventually, breathing and the heart will stop, and they'll drift off to sleep. During all of this we'll be providing medications or other interventions to treat any signs of anxiety, pain, constipation, fever, excess secretions, fluid buildup, skin breakdown or anything else that may be distressing for the person or their family. This is done in conjunction with the person's end of life wishes for treatment and the family's wishes as well. My job is to recognize any of these signs and to provide the necessary interventions in order to keep the person as comfortable as possible. Keep in mind that there are many different factors involved and not every person will go through the same sequence of events in the same order, but that's generally what it's like where I am in Canada. We try to do whatever we can to bring comfort and provide a good death. We or the family may bring in their favourite music or we'll play soft relaxing music. We'll use soft lighting when possible. We'll be repositioning frequently with lots of pillows in order to keep the body aligned properly also helping to avoid bed sores and stiffness from being in the same position for too long. Family and loved ones are often visiting when the patient desires. This includes pets. The biggest thing though is that we try to take the time to find out what the patient wants and needs. We don't rush. We take our time with meals, dressing and bathing to provide a more open and intimate relationship which hopefully allows the person to express those needs, desires, fears, concerns, etc. and we work as a team with the family and our health team (including doctors, social workers, religious leaders, alternative medicine practitioners, pet therapists, etc.) to provide what we can. I love this job because it feels like we're actually able to provide comfort and care at an uncertain and sometimes scary time. I just wish more people knew what to expect, because when you know what's coming, it's much easier to have a good death.

@@werbnaright5012 What a thoughtful and in-depth reply. Refreshing to see/hear/read humans being human (like, the good face of "human"), especially when there's "nothing to gain" from taking your time to respond as such. Just giving credit where it's due. And, btw, my father passed in hospice a few years ago, in the States, and this is spot-on what his final days were like. Keep up the great work!

I hope you are one day able to do this !!

I volunteered at a hospice 20+ years ago in Florida. There was long and intensive volunteer training class you had to attend. It was 2 nights a week for a couple months. Now I am in a rural area of Virginia and am having the same problem as you, with the local hospice here. I have called, emailed, filled out their online volunteer application, and nothing. No one ever gets back to me and I literally have experience. You should look into being a death doula. Even better than being a hospice volunteer. If this is what you are called to do, find a way.

Keep trying, love. You have so much to offer! ❤️ these people need you! Veteran nurse of 16 years, in palliative care. ❤

Family ties and joint families must be resurrected

I happen to be one of those people. Luckily I don’t fear death but after experiencing my grandmother dying in my arms for hours it does make me a little sad that I will probably go out alone. I feel for everyone that does not have a supportive family or a loving companion or a caring child or a true friend. I’m 66 years old and it wasn’t like this when I grew up. It wasn’t that long ago.

And when inheritance papers came in, they all be hurrying to attend the meeting 😂😂😂

@@ChooseCompassionI wish I die young so I don’t have to experience the loneliness and sadness of dying alone of old age.. I will never have my own family and I don’t like children… 😅

If it’s so helpful why don’t you live in a Muslim country?

@@Carma123 I already live in a Muslim country. Alhamdulillaah.

I wish you all blessings. We are lucky if we have people we love in our lives, and who return that love. Love doesn't end with death, and as you say; we should be always grateful for the time we have with these people - even if we lose them in this life. I believe we will see each other again. :)

@@Carma123 why even say that?

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Thank you for watching. :)

I'm also curious to know as nothing came up in the search results for the lyrics

@@gem5569 I know, I googled the lyrics as well. It is very strange and sad :(

​@@Eikenhorst : you discover the name of the song of she's singing

I finding, just put her name and it will appear

You might want to consider researching Buddhism, Kabbalah, or any other “religion“ that explains your question and the reality of reincarnation. ❤

Basically the human being has free will, the consciousnesses (souls) chose to come to earth to experiment and perhaps you should no longer inform yourself better before taking out gods created by humanity.

How so?

​@@oneshothunter9877Near-death experience

You seem to be saying, "If you don't have a family, you deserve to die alone and in painful misery." You should go to an assisted living facility and spread your reassuring message to the elderly. 😐

Your whole family can die before you. Never heard of 5-10 family members dying at once?

Not necessarily. Sometimes families are broken and a person is left alone.

@@TheStockwell Good comment. We all die alone whether or not we have family.

@@eddenoy321 We all agree, I guess, that dying among one's loved ones gives more fortitude to face death... And family members benefit a lot from such an experience that allows them to see and witness to which extent life is fragile an fugacious.

He did not save himself until he saved others Go back to your one God who has no partner

@@mohamedmnissar238 He didn’t save himself He sacrificed himself to pay for our sins, because God still loved us even though we are sinners.

@@SunnyLovetts It is not logical for anyone to pay for the mistakes of others, each soul is responsible for itself only. There is no God but Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah And Jesus is a slaves of God and His Messenger

He's a fictional character of a non compelling book.

Doesn't help those who believe in Buddha, the Hindu Gods or muhammed. And you just may be wrong.