As a single observer who has been typed, it's weird af to me, like who gives a shit I agree to a degree but she just goes on and on and on and on. Just like it's probably weird as fuck for you to hear about my observer BS conspiracies
@@allenbro9900 Yeah for the other side of the coin a person having faith in their friends/family keeps them sane and ground in reality but when comes to something that they can't interact with like the government, global warming, A.I and etc then that could be the cause for observer freak outs. So everyone that you have met or have yet to meet in the future is already part of your tribe and you know you can negotiate or relate to in order survive or, even the ones that annoy you, but everyone else that's impossible to interact/befriend with is the "bad tribe" like the stuff of BS conspiracies.
Some personalities have underdeveloped extroverted feelings so I suspect that these types of conversations sound weird to them. When you don't really care about other people's feelings then hearing them talk about feelings seems weird. People who are in touch with this aspect of human nature know how important tribal relations can be. This is the glue which holds society together and when people stop caring and sympathizing with each-other the real-life consequences can be devastating.
Seeing Dave's talk about his 20's as a pretty young guy here really gave me some hope... I've been doing this same thing with my family, one by one I've alienated most of them due to my constant anger outbursts and grudges. Maturity will bring some change, I'd bet.
boatfullogoats do you think you’d be able to give some examples? I think I do this (I’m most likely an ExxP). My biggest issue is how I’ve cut 99% of my family and friends off because I always felt like they weren’t the kind of people I wanted to be around but idk if a part of me thinks that they were “controlling me.” There’s some truth to the fact that you’re the average of the people you hang around BUT to do it to such an extreme is something I don’t think I’m aware of the reasoning of. I’m wondering if I’m an ExxP or an IxxP.
I’m an ENFP living in a dysfunctional family with what I’d call an abusive mom (more so psychologically and emotionally if you get too close) and an enabling dad who gives into her gaslighting day after day. I have an ESFJ friend with a situation closely mirroring mine, except her dad is the problem and her mom is enabling him. I, at around 14 years old, learned how to distance myself from my family mentally, emotionally, and (as much as I can) physically, and now that I’m in high school, I’m pouring all of my effort to secure a place in college so that I can leave this house and break off contact with my family forever. They don’t even feel like family anymore... just two people I live with who are only going to worsen my quality of life if I stay with them. My ESFJ friend, however, is trying to focus on how to fix her family and create a better environment for everyone. She’s been advocating for change amongst her siblings and even got the family together to have a conference on what’s going on. It shocks me how much she cares about a family that badly mistreats her... I literally just want to get out, lol. We’re such close friends, but our completely different responses just shock me often.
When I first started watching your videos I thought your method was more confusing but now It's waaay more simple than anyone else has explained all this stuff
The one that Dave stated about his father gave me chills because I have been like that attaching so many expectations to a certain guy that I do not know of now. WOW!
wow thats interesting. i had this feeling watching this, I can't believe lisa would jump to the director hating her just because she wasn't right for the part... and then realized thats exactly what my friend who is an INFP does. and I always think both of them are rather immature but... I'm so immature about keeping a schedule!
Hahahaha! Exactly how I feel about freakin’ audio books!!! And how they read ALL the detailed fine print... “Chapter, Title, Subtitle, Page #, etc.” Can you just start the freakin reading already!?!?,
I've only ever "really" hated a maximum of three people at a time in my life, and they all sort of just dropped out of mind. I can get upset at people, and I can get upset at myself, then I'll rack my brain trying to make sense of it so I can cool my nerves and function properly again. I rarely hate people, or even dedicate special praise to individuals unless they did something in the moment - then the praise is lavish, but short lived. What *_really_* grinds my gears is when a _group_ of people are being dysfunctional, such as in traffic. I always preach that driving is a "team effort" and that it takes _two_ people not paying attention to cause a wreck; everyone is responsible for everything on the road. I'm happy to say that, for the most part, the city I live in is home to a generally safe populace of drivers.
@@wearejungians Conspiracy theories, upset about technology not working, tripping over shit on the floor and raving about it, sulking over changes in routine, feeling controlled and robbed of agency by circumstance, grumbling about stagnation on the environment, freaking out about society collapsing, and disrespect of authority figures.
Freddie the Eliminator so those are double decider freak outs? Interesting... If im an ExxP I would be more freaked out about being controlled & an IxxJ would be more freaked out about losing control right? I’m close to certain that I’m an ExxP then haha.
@@wearejungians Yeah, pretty much. EP temperaments low-key want to get their shit together, but can't be arsed to be the ones to do it. At the same time, they believe it is their duty to discover and compare and question the world around them, and a more deliberate mindset of organizing gets in the way of that. Conversely, IJ temperaments need to live in an environment that is under control and gives them the freedom to move about with the parameters of known, properly digested information. IJs hate chaos - Ni types have visions that are violated when new sensory info gets in the way, and Si types are off their rockers when they come to the end of their known facts and have to make connections. IJs want to gather, but again, not at any compromise to their organization.
Freddie the Eliminator gotcha. Yeah I’m having a hard time distinguishing if I’m IxxP or ExxP because, like I said, I have freakouts about being controlled to the point where I don’t make decisions if I think someone is trying to influence it in any way (my mom for example is no where near me but I still have her voice in my head when I try to make decisions so I end up not deciding). On the other hand I’ve basically always been having issues with the tribe but I guess it’s more so related to their opinions bogging me down and limiting me. This stuff is so fascinating haha
I get these concepts, and I like how you articulate them. The struggle I am having is that, to me, what you call "observer/decider 'freakouts?...'" ...they're one & the same. The only reason one would be more observable to anyone else would be based on which side the observer is on at any given moment. 🤷🏻
"Observer freakouts" often come across as materialistic to me. 🤷♀️ Sometimes it even causes me to peg them as sensors when that's not necessarily the case. INTJ vs ISTJ in particular has been a difficult differentiation to me. Any tips?
INTJ gets annoyed due to some detail issue, like there’s suddenly a traffic that “shouldn’t be” at that time of the day, etc. ISTJ gets annoyed by what could be implied, like a simple statement about ice cream has them thinking you think badly of them and they react.
I think I am a single decider . Sure things bug me at times but it’s not that big a deal most of the time. For me it more like they hate me! 😂 or why like that one instead of me?! Or what did I do ? Chances are most of the time they would shocked I am so worried or angry it wasn’t even an issue with them.
Ok I see how I do this! Like I’m a dude and I play racquetball with two other dudes and my best friend who’s a girl. And we have a group chat where we say we can make it or not to the gym. For me if I say I’m going I’ll go no matter what. But one of the guys will FOR SURE go or be more motivated to go if my friend says she’s going. Like his motive isn’t working out for him, racquetball for the fun or the fact he said he would. But what gets him to wake up in the morning is whether or not a pretty girl will be there to play against lol it’s SO superficial to me that that is his deciding factor in whether to wake up in time or not. Lol
Parking! Don't even get me started...and the traffic! Geesh you'd think they designed the city for 50,000 people. Don't they know there's been a trend of highways...Since 1956! Eisenhower signed the Interstate Highway Act didn't he? Only Jeitwterfugs and paid Nigpipers live in cites don't you notice the houses when you go for a walk? There is a very distinct architecture of the buildings based on the time period they were built. What I always find interesting is how houses were bigger pre-Great Depression. Then the GI bill came along and all of sudden everybody could afford their own home. Naturally, it wasn't just industrialists and their heirs who were investing in themselves.
#cantrelate to people problems like that. I would never make a jump like he fired me because he hates me. Even if he did hate me, id look for something objective i did that he wouldnt like or something. Or be mad that i did everything perfectly or something
Before youtube's playback speed option there was the MySpeed app, which can go up to 5x. I needed the speaker to get to the point asap (likely Ne issue). It was when I noticed my impatience growing ragey with class lecturers that I knew I had to dial it back.
The MBTI likes to make INFPs seems like depressed emo girls, at home writing poetry. My interactions with INFPs is way different. They’re usually funny, self confident and kinda hippie/relaxed.
I think I’m INFP though did wonder if me being worried borderline- paranoid on what other people think and feel about me & how they behave, what they’re doing, pointed more towards being an Fe type. That said I don’t think I’m Fe as a lead, would more likely be Fe auxiliary. The Decider “people freakout” I relate more to than the Observer IxxJ freakout anyways
What Shan and Dave mean by deciders are people with lead De (Te or Fe). I don't see how and Fi or Ti lead would be freaking out over other people hating them. They would be freaking out about self identity.
But having last Fe or Te could make you have these De freakouts. For instance, if you have last Fe, you will tend to fear the tribe hate. Not every time, of course, because you'll repress it, but soon or later it will explode in your face and you'll freak out about people hating you. The Observers (single observer/double decider) have some balance between tribe and self and freak out about things, control and chaos. The Deciders (single decider/ double observer) have some balance between control and chaos but freak out about people (tribe vs self). In other words, you freak out about your first and your last function, because they're unbalanced.
Oh, getting angry about things not behaving as I want them to... >.< But in other news this lady seems to be the doppelganger of someone I know and it's creeping me out. And somewhere down the road my sister will tell me I'm crazy to think she's like this other person. :)
What do you think about people who have a very zen demeanor but still do the "this guy and this person and her and me" thing when they talk? Is that the tell of a Decider who's figured out their demons, or one who's just made their saviors work?
Probability is that at some point they are going to lose their zen and what they will lose their zen about is their demon function. I've become relatively zen, my family even have said so, because I used to be really nervous and not zen about everything. But then comes something like changing my schedule (I'm a teacher) and I freak out. I feel helpless and I don't know what to do
@@einsame_Maria Great point. I've been watching someone on RU-vid who seem to be relatively secure in his demons but very much does the single-decider talk. I wonder if it's a component of masculine Di - even though the tribe sucks, pressure for growth is on the self.
But the problem is that people do things that I would NEVER do except on purpose, so I assume (stupid me) I assume that they do it on purpose rather than just because they are totally oblivious; my world view was forced (eventually; took years) to accept that people can be oblivious rather than purposeful jerks. They do not see that they affect others. It never enters their brain. But that makes it even worse. They do bad things and don't even know it. How can they NOT know? Even if they are not out to get me, they are still getting me (the result is the same no matter the cause). Most people are not like that, but there are enough that you can't avoid them. The 1 percent that makes 90% of the trouble. Go watch Idiots in Cars on reddit if you need proof. Doesn't take long to encounter 100 people when driving, so you will hit that 1% oblivious to the world while driving. guaranteed. So, sure, people aren't out to get ME. They just don't care.
IP are self over tribe to intensely, EJ are tribe over self too intensely, both cause tribe/self issues. Compared to EP IJ have relative balance between self over tribe or tribe over self, although there will still be a slight imbalance in one direction there too, but not nearly as bad
Hey serious question for all you double deciders out there, do you have to imagine what other people want before deciding or you do just honestly ask for their opinions before making a decision. Also what type are you?🤔
I try to predict how people will react in a certain situation,next I asked them to know for sure if that's how they will react, then I measure that reaction against what I think should happen and go from there.
@@dylonias Right but what if they have a low play animal and have poor communication skills towards their own emotions. Like they expect you to know what they are feeling but will put zero effort in understanding yours?
@@TheNicMMc Sounds like they might just be a Thinker, or have a Feeling animal way down there. Outsourcing it to another person. I'd also be curious to know if that's how they always act, with everyone.
@@dylonias well everyone except two people. they both seem have play as second or first, but our manager has BP but the dynamic is even more distant with him.
I like watching you guys because I think this concept is beneficial but I hate how much you guys swear because it makes it impossible to watch your videos with kids. And really swearing all the time is unnecessary..
