Depersonalisation disorder: Why are some people unable to feel love? BBC News 

Sometimes i get so scared of myself. I feel like i can never love anyone wholeheartedly, not even my parents or my friends or myself.

I would never wish this disorder on my worst enemy. It's the worst feeling and leaves you feeling lonely and numb.

The music/sound in this video is horrendous and distracting.

I feel that I am unable to love anyone anymore..it feels like after waking up I am just acting to be a son, a bf, a friend, a brother with different people.. literally just pretending to be myself..it feels like I am employed by me to act like me.

I clicked on this because I was trying to figure out why I can't feel love towards another person

DP/DR is a blessing in disguise. It's the beginning of the ego not being the in drivers seat all the time anymore. The ego thinks it's dying. You're not. It's actually a very beautiful thing that is happening. You are waking up. Give yourself time to go though this process. The greatest help I found in my process was this: Acceptance. 100% accept at all times what your are feeling. You don't have to engage with it. Just as radio noise in the background. Let go. Let go of all the thoughts you have. Don't take them seriously, no matter how grotesque or annoying they are. They are just thoughts. They don't control you unless you actively want them to. Relax. Don't fight the process. Breathe. Spend time in nature. Curiosity. Be curious and face your fear. Try to find where the actual fear is coming from. You will sooner or later see that the source does not exist, and the fear will dissipate by itself. Hope this helps

I feel like im in a dream and every second im gonna wakeup but i never wakeup

Anyone ever get scared about relationships because not sure whether your feelings are correct and feels artificial?

So much ignorance in the comments, you don't know the pain until you experience it. 2 years of DP for me and counting.

It starts at any time but usually at early adolescence or early adulthood. It appears as a defence mechanism against severe anxiety, trauma by switching of reality. You know that you love your family but you sort of know it academically rather than feel it. Relationships that you value deeply suddenly lose their essential quality Those with this condition claimed to see themselves detached from the world or seeing the world as if through a haze or fog. The World appears 2d or flat like a cartoon. Watching themselves from a far or out of body experience feeling detached from their own body parts and an emotional moment. You can't feel someone that you love them because you don't feel it. You're emotionally blunt

i cant feel love for anyone anymore. but like..i know who i love. i just don’t feel it.

I always feel like I am no longer human. I am just existing doing role-playing in real life.

I don’t want to be one of those people that self-diagnose them selfs but I relate to everything in this video 😐

Everyone in this comment section saying you a living with this...holy hell. I had no idea something like this even exists..this is like hell on earth..I am so very sorry and I wish you all to return back to normal asap. Doctors, specialists, scientists where you at??

Amazing how she describes it. Very accurate

This is very real, and it is hell. I've had depersonalization disorder since 2004

I believe there is a form of this where you can love those close to you but still have an overwhelming feeling like you are never really there with them, even if you want to be. You can be sitting right next to them and be a billion miles away.

Waking up and you can just end it all, cause nothing feels real, nothing. It sounds so simple but you have no idea how scary and empty it feels

I suffered from this for less than a year. It felt as if I was a passenger in my own body. I sometimes stared at my hand and asked "who's hand is this"? Words coming from my mouth....it was me but it didnt really feel like me. It became quite frustrating trying to break out of this bubble.

Finally I understand what happened to me this fall and winter! I WAS FEELING THIS. I’ve never felt so certain, I had depersonalization/derealization disorder. I went through a personal trauma/crisis and after that. For MONTHS I was feeling absolutely detached from the world. I felt as though I was a flying orb going through life and stuff just kept happening to me, without my respons to any of it (because I was detached from myself). When people asked my questions like ”What do YOU think about this Emelie” I answered in my head ”But I am not Emelie or a ”you” or a person at all, why don’t anyone ask the trees outside what they think? I am a part of everything in the world, and I am also nothing.” It felt like I knew something beyond normal peoples comprehension, like this huge secret that life was of no other substance than things happening. A couple of months ago I had a nervous breakdown, where everything just sort of let go. After that I cried and screamed and sobbed and mourned for about a MONTH. Every waking moment where I wasn’t preoccupied or distracted with anything I cried. Like somebody pulled the plug and the water run out. And after that, even though I’m still ashamed whenever I display emotions, I know I have to feel them, I must feel them. Or else in the end of this ”no-feelings-cycle” there’s only emptyness which (in my case) can lead to addiction. I wouldn’t wish DP/DR on my worst enemy. It’s one of the strangest and scariest ”headspaces” I’ve ever experienced.

I don't love anyone. The concept of love is alien to me. I feel like we're conditioned by society to follow an order, love, marriage, kids, family and friends, but doesn't come naturally to me.

I don't know if I have it but recently, I've learnt that I'm incapable of love. When I go out with friends it feels strange like I'm in a different planet surrounded by different species. Sometimes, I have to forced a smile or laughter to connect with people and make them feel safe and calm. I usually look at my friends if they smiling or laughing so I can do the same. Sometimes, what I hear, my brain interprets it different which makes me to isolate myself from civilisation or publicity. I don't like people. It's like my switch turn off. The concept of love is alien to me.

I feel like im in a dream constantly, i cant feel love and im constantly feel lonely and i now know what i have which makes me feel better.

Such ignorance here. Depersonalization is the third most common mental health symptom in the world, right behind depression and anxiety. Forget what you've been told. I'm a working man from a construction background. This isn't some "feminist made up illness", this is a well documented mental disorder. Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows has had it for years. Rapper Vinnie Paz from Jedi Mind Tricks has had it for years. I am friends online with people all the way from Tunisia to Japan that have this. People of all kinds of backgrounds are at risk. This isn't just some "triggered" feminist disorder. Actually read up on something instead of bringing your politics into something. This illness I've been living with for years is finally getting publicity, which means better odds of a cure, which means I might finally get to live a normal life, and the vermin of the internet gotta come out of the woodwork to fuck it up.

I HAVE THIS IM SO HAPPY ITS ON BBC

sleep deprivation and lots of caffeine can cause similar.

I’ve had it for almost 2 years. Honestly it was the worse feeling ever waking up everyday having panic attacks, feeling like I was in a dream, looking in the mirror and freaking out. I hope everyone that’s going through this recovers. You will and you can. The gym honestly helps and self care. Keep taking care of yourself and eating healthy foods! Keep surrounding yourself with great people❤

Have had this for 1 year and 2 months now. Mental Health services haven't got a clue, but even if they did, there is no current specific treatment. The best strategy I've found is drawing your attention away from the symptoms (I know its obsessive but do your best) and onto something you used to enjoy, EMDR, talk therapy, good nuitrition, exercise, lots of water, and time - lots and lots of time. There are some good youtube channels too. You're not alone and plenty of people have made it through, stay strong!

26 now and i’ve had DPD since i was 11. it felt like my soul left my body and left me to observe my life as a bystander… and just never returned. i’m stuck, and it feels completely and utterly lonely. this detachment has created rifts in my relationships and i feel that… nobody can withstand or tolerate me in a relationship. hardly anyone can tolerate my detachment.. it’s really.. difficult.

I'm not diagnosed and I will not diagnose myself, but this perfectly describes what I've been going through for almost a year now. I have a hard time understanding and actually feeling love, it feels like a foreign concept. It never feels artificial or real, every time I try to grasp it. It's just simply not there.

She is describing me exactly! I'm so happy to have it put into content. Im not like this all the time but it goes in & out uncontrollably. Sometimes weeks at a time. The picture of my hands or detached feeling , same flat symptoms. I seem better now that I'm retired but its lonely & scarey.

I have the same complication with feeling love and having moments where I always have out of body and out of world experience

Thank you for talking about it on tv

i think Love and kindness comprehension are key to help people to heal.

Is a way a lot of people’s mind handle emotional trauma 😔

This is me, i dont feel anything towards anybody even to my family..

I get over a crush,suddenly everything change.I can't love anyone.

I had this for a month, two years ago. If anyone is experiencing this now, don't be scared by all the stories out there that it lasts *forever*. No idea how someone can function with this e.g. career, relationship, for years and years. You're a blank emotionless automaton. Unable to be happy. Unable to be sad. Unable to love. Unable to fear. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I’ve had this off and on since childhood, after my anxiety started showing its head. It feels like a really good (albeit disturbing in a way) 3rd person video game, where you’re just over your shoulder, but still using your own mind and eyes. Touch doesn’t feel the same either, like the flat emotions as well, for me. I typically have issues when I’m overwhelmed and anxious, and heading towards burnout. It really cripples me, and affects nearly all aspects of my life.

Same you just feel like a passenger and you question reality or if you’re in the matrix

I’ve had Dp and Dr disorder for 9 yrs persistently.. I remember feeling like my thoughts were running constantly. I felt like I was completely invisible! Like the walking dead! It was so bad. Now, I have days where having this is so normal and i don’t really feel so detached. I still don’t completely feel normal!! I just wish one day it would just all go away.

I can’t feel love and happiness and sadness It SUDDENLY HAPPEND SOMEHOW

I experience this due to intensive psychopathic abuse. Extreme stress.

Hearts out to anyone experiencing this. Worst stretch of my life, you truly don’t know how blessed you are till you experience a sense of No being

my docter diagnozed me depression that cause depersonalization, but i think depersonalization makes me feel depression

After finding out about this, this is the most I’ve ever felt seen..

This explains why I can never feel myself missing someone. I can only miss them if they have passed on.

I can't connect to anybody

I think I have this. I’ve struggled with it for years and I’m trying to reach out but I’m stuggling to

I find it unbelievable that doctors in the UK haven't heard of this. I'm from the US and have DP/DR and was in the hospital as well as outpatient for it, and all the doctors, nurses, and therapists I've talked to were familiar with it and said they see it all the time in patients. There were people in the hospital the same time as me who were also having it, or told me they had it in the past. They must be getting really inadequate training over there.

I got this from 10 mg thc. I took 2 years to recover. I wish everyone the best. It was horrible.

I have this and I'm only 12 years old. I see all the people in the comments saying how long they've had it... I don't want to have it for that long. I want therapy but I don't have enough money for it. I feel doomed. I'm like a robot; thoughtless and empty. I just live day by day... Someone help me!

When the beginning has such a banging start, you can't stop yourself from focusing on something more upbeat

This happened to me after suffering a panic attack from being high on marijuana

I feel like this for years and the worst about it is the fact that you know it's only in your head. You know it's not true. This feeling alone is slowly driving you insane. This inner isolation, the feeling of not belonging to this World or just being an observer is torture.

I feel very alive, I am constantly aware. However, I have never felt love towards someone. Infatuation, perhaps. Appreciation for my family, certainly. But I don’t have a genuine feeling of happiness towards anyone. Just their approval.

I guess now I know what the problem is. Thank you !

I had a very similar experience when I was in college. Scared me half to death when all of a sudden my surroundings flipped almost suddenly like a switch. This was back in 2014 when there was not a lot of videos/accessible resources on the subject. I had a wonderful campus therapist who listened to my symptoms and researched diligently to discover Depersonalization disorder. She told me I just needed to feel the feelings and accept my current state. The disorder can’t hurt me, and I have nothing to fear. It’s just my body protecting me. With regular therapy my awareness returned to baseline in 6 months without any medication. Such a scary experience!

In Buddhism "depersonalization" and love go hand in hand. They're two aspects of wisdom that reinforce each other. I'm not sure how Western psychology fits together with people spending a lot of time and effort trying to stabilize "depersonalization".

I was searching for an info about myself. Then i got here, i dont know, but i dont feel love, but i can feel anger occassionally, loneliness, yes, feeling different, but cant say am DP...

OMG! Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been experiencing all these symptoms since I was in prep school and now I’m a grown man and i never knew how to explain it so I just never brought it up.

that is so stupid that the service only caters to over 18 year olds. I had my first experience with this at 13 years old after a very traumatic incident. I went on to start drinking alchohol as this was the only thing that felt like it helped. I then progressed to heroin use as this always seemed to help. Sadly i wasted my whole life as a drug addict. Drugs werent the problem. They where the solution for me. If i would have been able to get help or if the condition was talked about more in general i would have known what was going on with me. I have only become aware of this condition and what it is called. I am now 58 and realise my life could have been so different

Can this occur after psychedelic drug use? Like People who like and want the seperation of mind and body and actually continue to live in their brain/ mental world rather than in reality?

I looked up this video because it’s been happening to me. First time was terrifying and just unsettling. 2nd time wasn’t so bad, best thing you can do is relax and let it pass.

So complex. Dsm helps, but differentiating between dp and alexithymia, etc, needs a good psychiatrist

Massive panic attacks from it cos you'll be in it and be like "well im used to it now" then you hit an even harder dissociative spell in the middle of work you didn't know was possible.

If I don't feel love, I will find a way to love I will find someone who I love I won't give up in my life

30 yrs of therapy and no dr picked up on my description.

In my forties now and have this feeling, afraid to go out sometimes, it's really distressing.

I can feel love, I just think no one will love me

Action needs to be taken as soon as possible

The man is at 5:00 is terrified. It is the fear that paralyses, not the warped perception. For fast progress, just consider you're dead already, make friends with the apparitions, observe and set the rules of the game, and enjoy the show.

I was diagnosed with Derealization but I think I have symptoms in each. I will lose months of time, I scene my body lying in my bed and haven't fully connected it back, I have self isolated for 2 years. Does anyone else have these symptoms? I feel like I am not alive anymore.

I think I have depersonalization disorder cause sometimes when I am looking at myself in the mirror I get the feeling that who ever I see isn't me. Or any kind of action I make in front of it isn't making me the person I think I should be..is it "it"?

I recovered once but had a panic attack and it came back, the love and passions etc do come back, you still love people but you just can't feel it

i have comfort in knowing i am not alone.

Hate that feeling of the split between me and everything and everyone I see myself as a joke or fool it becomes hate towards myself.

The only time I feel like I in with my body is when im high it’s like the two pieces arte able to relax and fit together like puzzle

I can't Express love or feel it it feels like I'm in a deep water trying to reach out to get out but i can't and it feels lonely watching other being in love is great but i will never have that it's like watch a movie

Can this disorder all be somewhat related to low levels of *Oxytocin* since its like the "bonding hormone"

I have had it for 20 years, I am from Saudi Arabia

This happened to me after a course of antibiotics called ciprofloxacin, I have had it for 7 years. Disconnected brain, soul dosnt feel connected to my physical body. Walking feels awkward like im not connected to my body moving, feels like im in a different dimension to my surroundings

have it since 99 .... in the end you get used to, sad but true

ADHD, aphantasia and SDAM ... I'm guessing that lack of empathy and lack of love are somehow related.

I can't feel love to anyone all I do is act as I love them which is really hard for me.

This conditions got my relationship messed up and made me fail academically , but I have sort of worked out the recovery process. The aim is to take your mind off it , but I’ve never got to 100% recovery yet. Just pretend it doesn’t exist , do things you enjoy, you should feel better, but the aim to the cure is maintaining that. If you are gonna worry bout dp and search it up all the time then be prepared to have it for a long time. I can say this cause this emotional numbness I’ve felt my emotions again, I’ve experienced temporary recovery, never been able to eradicate it though

I had this for almost 2 years. I lost my job, my house, everything.

How loud do you want the music? YESSSS

I had this happen to me today. It was like my skin felt numb, the ceiling fan felt choppier than usual with a lag, steps were weird, my head felt fuzzy and I just had this sense that I'd wake up any second and it all just be a bad dream.

I've had this for two years... began drinking heavily to self-medicate it, now that im 7 months sober its mostly gone, life is livable now, but it still is something i deal with on a regular basis...

I've never been able to be close to anyone and it's scary and soo soo dam lonly

I can’t feel love. I haven’t since my mum had to leave without me and my sister with my dad and his new girlfriend.(that I hate). Trust me it’s not nice.

as a sufferer of dp/dr it is not an easy disorder to have; but i believe it is attached to some sort of trauma that one goes through

I don’t want to self diagnosed, I’ve been feeling like this for around 5 years?? It feels like I’m in a game and life doesn’t feel whole. I still remember the moment where it started

Its total numbness. Whilst everyone is going about and doing things, you on the other hand feel like your mind is just taking a backseat, you are left with this empty numb autopilot mode... not bothered but you want to be bothered and want to get back to reality, but your senses of life is shut down... you are left with a empty head lol. It's like your trying putting effort to get back to reality, and that tere is some missing energy that has been withdrawn that has left big void. When you are left with this withdrawal, your mind in all over the place. Like some electric circuit of the body has left he brain. It seems like some chemical imbalance however scans dont pick this up...

i never feel sincere love for others. except family.

I didnt know seeing yourself while next to yourself was the same thing as the 2d experience. I came here looking for answers to the former. I almost gave up when i learned about the latter because i already know too well about that. But the two related? I had never heard of. I have my suspicions why this occurs (completely separate from but in addition to trauma) and was hoping others like me had the same conclusion.

Everyone is treating Depersonalization like some independent condition, which it isn’t. Depersonalization is a symptom of anxiety.

I had my finals today. I'm looking up this because I really started to flare up but I'm always one to disassociate

am suffering right here it started at the age of 16 now am 19 still can't feel a thing , it's just disgusting and makes me depressed and self hate keeps on growing day after another