Discouraged. Low mood, moderately shutdown, vulnerable. 

Please excuse the camera going out of focus (think was the dust/fluff from my blanket)
My name is Xanthe.
Not up to writing a description but I hate feeling vulnerable emotionally. Shutting down emotion is one of the ways I am affected with PTSD. When I do cry, I usually cry alone.
Also had a mood crash with bipolar disorder which lead to a shutdown. Not as severe as in the past but it was still crap. Even though I wasn't up to it, I decided to try speak on video.
Moderately shut down which affects my thinking & speaking. When severely shut down, I can't think or speak at all.
Primary diagnoses: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar affective disorder (type 1). I think one of the factors has been not being able to fill a script yet, so low on one medication (so had to take less).
Also several likely contributing factors, most of which I didn't mention.
Can view my art in better light on my other channel ‪@soarpurpose‬ or my website soarpurpose.nz