You crushed this topic. You rarely hear this talked about in church (for multiple reasons). Everything you said was biblical. Love how you don't shy away and just give Truth. God bless sister.
This video was awesome, you took careful consideration to break down what the verse means and many woman make excuses or don’t feel like it but we must get our mindset on pleasing our husbands so Satan doesn’t tempt him. Thanks for this! Oh and it’s vise versa too so that’s awesome.
[Married 41 years here] When I explained the interpretation by a few people I've seen on these verses to my husband, which is that the woman cannot say no, that he can "borrow" her whenever he wants her, that she should be sexual more than she feels like, he gave me a look of distaste, a "you can't be serious" expression. The way we understand these verses is that the husband has control over the wife's body and she his, meaning we don't have the right to give our bodies to anyone else because our bodies have been given to our spouse in marriage and therefore we can't give our bodies to others. Also that sex should never be used as a punishment or a weapon, so withholding sex because of anger, spitefulness or whatever is WRONG. He doesn't want me to say yes if I'm not up to it, nor do I with him. (We both have health issues.) Even if we didn't have health issues we want both of us to WANT to make love so we're emotionally engaged together. That's so important. He doesn't want me to be staring at the ceiling waiting for him to finish. That's not making love, that's just sex. Neither of us says yes every time the topic is brought up, but since the topic was brought up we keep that in mind for when we both want to. We flirt every day, even at our ages. (me 60 and he 63) We've discussed the problem that some couples have when the wife is too worn out to even think about sex by the time she falls into bed so there is no energy left in her for him, and that early morning prioritizes the husband rather than putting him last at the bottom of her list of priorities at the end of the day. We also think the husband should share some of her burdens, helping out more, so she isn't worn out doing everything herself.... We don't think that we need to "get over ourselves" if we're not in the mood, but to keep each other in mind always. That isn't rejection, it's a not-right-now-ask-me-later. How is not being in the mood at any given time something we should "get over"? My husband is not an animal who must have his every whim indulged, but he never doubts my love for him whether I say yes or not right now. The reverse is true too.
This helped a little. Thank you for talking about this. This is where my marriage is struggling at the moment. Our stress and mental states may be relieved if we look at this ourselves so might surprise him later. It's a bit hard in the morning but it would be ideal. We co-sleep so it would be hard. I'll have to plan it out a bit. Thank you again. If you have anymore tips and tricks it would be great and appreciated so much. Two children under 2 and I'm over things by sleeptime
I believe this to be true in most cases, a man’s appetite for sexual intimacy is more about the receptiveness of his wife not the frequency. In other words most who are walking with the Lord will absolutely understand and accept when his wife is not able or willing most of the time if she is reassuring and loving about his needs instead of resentful and dismissive. Many women don’t want to humble themselves in that moment which then becomes a fight.
We are supposed to be submissive and to make our husbands happy, AND they are supposed to love us, as God loves us too. So I think the thing to remember is that, if you are hurt, traumatized, if something is wrong, he should care enough to not pressure you. He should be grown enough to understand why you can’t help him out, bc he loves you. Sometimes you’re tired and not into it, but you end up having a great time anyway, that’s different altogether, but marital rape is not loving your wife. Making her feel shameful for being hurt, and throwing a fit or walking away from your marriage, bc you don’t get to have sex, is not being a Christ centered man. It’s not loving your wife.
Amen, and your husband WILL have to answer to God for how he treats you. There can be so many variables here, he should be loving you, these things should just come, but they don't always. We can only do what we can do!
Boy, this was a hard topic. I don't think I could've done it. But you did a great job. I could totally see you having to pray lots before doing this one. Lol It's just not something that people talk about. But I think you did it in such a fantastic way. This is something I have struggled with in the past, and from time to time still struggle with today. When things get super busy, and I'm so tired. It's hard. But I'm doing my best to remember his feelings, and his needs. So I try so much harder than I used to.
When I read the book beforehand, because I committed to doing the series before even receiving my book, I have a few spots that I was like "Oh Lord, why did I say I'd publicly do this?!?!" :P Haha! I've given it all to the Lord- He can use me in this to do whatever work He sees fit. There are extremes in this topic, but I think for the most part we can ll agree that we can be more caring and loving in this area.
