Divorcing the GOOD GUY; one woman says she's proud of women that do it 

Good for him. If she just stuck it out she would have ended up with twice as much of his stuff.

@@Gulgathydra I wouldn’t even say that’s good for him because from what I heard, he was at the end of his life and still fighting. Imagine fighting for your life and your wife of 13 years leaves you. It doesn’t matter what he has because he is fighting alone. That’s something I would never wish on anyone

A similar thing happened to me. I was sick in hospital with a gut problem and close to death at the time and my wife left me for her best friends boyfriend.

@@soehnr It sucks for sure, but at least he got one cancer cut out of his life before the other one got him. If she's going to be that horrid, I'd be happy to keep half of my stuff from her. (When you die, the surviving spouse gets it all.)

@@Gulgathydra I don’t think your things should be of concern while you’re dying

Women soend much more time planning the weddings than planning the vows. Think about that for a moment.

Yes

Always was

'til boredom us do part

you would be surprised at how many women stand at that altar and already know this won't last forever.

Came here to say this. Your partner should provide the peace and stability for YOU to find YOUR happiness, which is not guaranteed in life anyway.

And its a lie, because the happiness is always of the short term variety, just around the next corner but never quite in hand.

I agree. Hope and stop expecting it as a requirement. It's called trust for a reason.

I've heard the "I deserve this nonsense", too. Take a guess why I buy the occasional lottery ticket.

Best test for anyone who is seeking "happiness" is to ask them to define it.

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

You wont regret it

@@user-er9hv4pl2u BOT. No real person writes such drivel.

One divorce and she is damaged goods has been my 50 years of experiance

Well, and even the statistics are against the likelihood of her remaining married. In fact, the more divorces, the higher the chance she'll divorce again. I haven't seen the statistic, but quoting from Forbes: "So, what about the famous statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce? That’s true, but only when it comes to first marriages, half of which are dissolved. Second and third marriages actually fail at a far higher rate." From Psychology Today, there was a 67% chance that her 2nd marriage was going to fail (which it did) and a 73% chance that her 3rd marriage will fail. Given her nonchalance, it will fail. Then, of course, she'll sit on social media all day, and complain about "where have all the good men gone?" Well, you divorced them, honey.

@@tetedur377 you forgot 80 percent of all divorces are started by women

A divorce is a failure. Who would commit and marry anyone who does not keep commitments?

Only pathetic males get married.

Women only as loyal as thier next oppertunity

A job where you can take your golden parachute without having put in the years.

Women treat relationships like men treat jobs. It's as simple as that.

Most women perceive men as short term investments, most men perceive women as long term investments. Many men are starting to use the female approach to investing in women

For about 15 years I ask women this "would you wait 10 years for a ring?" It's an important vetting question and only 3 women in that time answered it correctly. Start asking women this and you'll vet them out in minutes. You don't need a ring to spend a life with a person. Shows you what her goals are or not.

All women.

Feminists 😅

@@TheOwlGuy777 Sad but true.

My exes mother was divorced three times and tried to give me unasked for relationship advice. The delusion is real.

100% Agree

I've been where you are, honestly, I still have trouble dating but it gets better. It's a process. Good luck.

I can't connect either. I just broke up with the most absolutely perfect girl I've ever met because I just can't ever take the chance again. I break up with every girl after 60- 90 days. Only two exceptions over the years because I was really falling for them. But I still will end it every time. I won't survive another heartbreak and I won't ever give anyone that chance to hurt me again.

@@mikey92362 Why the fuck are you still dating?

Been divorced twice now. Both wives initiated the divorce. BOTH told me I was a 'Good Man'. The first marriage lasted 5 years, the 2nd 31 years. Focus on yourself and live your best life!

@@alanreynolds2287 mine said that too. 25 years married. But then I found 600 pages of her messages to her friends and boyfriends. Trust me, if they initiate the divorce, then they didn't tell other people that you're a good man. They make up all sorts of lies about you so that their friends will give them the go ahead to leave you. They get validation from the feedback they get from their own lies. It sounds crazy, I know. But that's what they do.

That's because men are really are smarter. How many of these women who leave rhe good man and post on social media about it do not post sometime between separation and a few years after the divorce that they regret their decision and he won't take them back... because he is too smart to fall for that twice or has just moved on after realizing she did him a favor.

Have you heard of the man cheating on their good woman? A man not divorcing a good woman, but cheating on a good woman is the same thing.

Because they know if they proposed the divorce, half of their money and possessions would be lost to the woman as well. Woman wouldn't be so flippant to go the divorce route if there was something for them to lose for dumping their husband. Plus men understand the concept of loyalty and devotion, which is a concept lost on the modern woman.

@@TheyCallMeSledge I divorced my ex of 10 years going into it knowing what I'd lose. It was tough, but totally worth it. She wasn't a good woman.

There are men who have affairs on a good woman and divorce them.

It's time for women to experience accountability. No fault divorce should be abolished. That will make women think twice before using the divorce machine as a wealth creation vehicle.

or they say 'I tried to tell him...' but their 'trying to tell him' is dropping hints or being passive-aggressive rather than actually talking about things

I have 2 buddies this very thing happened to.

Bingo, just happened.

​@@AffordBindEquipmentI know someone it happened to, also. And he had two children with her.

I dated a wounded bird too, luckily, we weren't married. Most guys want to help others, it's just a part of our DNA. Best of luck my friend.

You still did the right thing, and that will be with you forever. It's what WE do in life that counts, not what others do and seem to get away with. In the end, everyone pays their due.

@@kentwood9821 Yeah, that's what Socrates said. Somewhat difficult to remember when in the thick of it all, though.

Similar story. Ex had been SA by her dad. Didn't find out about it til we'd been married 8 years. Certainly explained a lot about her: the controlling nature, the emotional distance, the skittishness around physical intimacy, etc. I tried to be supportive, she tried therapy, but in the end, she was who she was. As a younger man, I had no idea as to just how much it effs up someone to have been SA. When I got divorced at 50 and started dating, I was astounded at the number of women out there that had been SA. Granted, there's sampling bias (i.e. non-SA women have a much higher probability of not being in the dating pool at 50), but probably a third to maybe as much as half of the women I dated post-divorce had been SA.

Women often times will lie about sexual abuse. Or any abuse. Women love to make excuses for why they fuck up. They always will blame it on someone from the past. Be it a parent, or previous boyfriend or husband. You can't always believe their bullshit. I mean, a lot of women are willing to make false accusations or lie about being raped, in order to gain sympathy

That's all I ever wanted. But when the other side makes her decision, there's nothing you can do.

@@mikey92362 I’m sorry 😢

You are from a different, and better, generation (my generation). We are the last generation who believes in a sense of loyalty and working through difficulties instead of running from them. My mistake was in marrying a millennial whose concept of marriage was something different.

@@fourierxfm I'm early gen x, and yes you're right when it comes to older men, most men, and older married women. But older single women from our age group? Nope. They're generally just the same. Hence the reason most are single.

@@mikey92362I don't disagree with that assessment, but was holding out some hope that not all single women nowadays are "stay until something better comes along", but sadly, I think that's true.

I wish you nothing but success and happiness, my friend. Not just happiness, but contentment. Even if spent single for the remainder of your life... I wish you all the best.

@@michaeldavis5439 Thanks I really appreciate the kind words friend! With hindsight she did me a favour; I would have stuck it out like the dutiful, enduring husband my Dad was (may he RIP since he didn't get to in life). So I get a second chance! By far the hardest part has been the lack of emotional support, even from my own family. For some reason, the societal default seems to side with women in these matters no matter what. And unlike women we tend to be lousy at supporting one another. If you think about it white men are the only cohort who are unable to blame anyone else for their problems. Wouldn't have it any other way. Cheers!

Divorcees, and usually already with their own kids...

I feel for you friend, had a similar situation here...but at least there was no kids (instead her going on the sick at work was the trigger for her true colours to show). Been apart 2 years now, but man is it rough out there now compared to what it was like 15 years ago...

@@KotCR Sounds like you dodged a bullet pal. Cheers

I wonder if either of her ex-husbands pursued alimony from her? I hope at least one of them did.

She probably is

And society is OK with her.

@@jerrym3261 Just OK? They will cheer her on!

@@DrJamesBWood Yes, that is true, lots more positive than negative. There are a lot of people that will be worrying about her should she end up alone, especially if she doesn't have enough money to live the life she's accustomed to. A single unattached man isn't doing what he is supposed to do, sacrifice his life and well-being for others.

She belongs to the streets!

Don't even pump. Avoid!

Wear a condom for the pump

Don't pollute your mind with the company of scoundrels.

What? You don't have a real name? Is the YT algo so pathetic it can't even invent a name for you?

Agreed, but it won't. Too many simps in the world who will white knight for these 304s for that to happen.

System is phucked, get govt out of it. Society has lost moral values

The question isn't about alimony, or being forced to stay married, it's about her choosing to divorce for such small reasons.

Don't get married of you think you'll divorce. It's not that deep smfh. If divorce was equally happening then I'd agree, but it's women who wake up and just destroy families. Men arnt doing that, that's women.

Women dislike work or duty and decide to leave when anything requires those 2. Men arnt doing this, women are. We need as a society to STOP treating adult women as children and rather as adults. We wouldn't have such high divorce rates if WOMEN toughed it out like the men do. Let's eliminate no fault divorce and see how the winds change. Women just won't marry anyone anymore. Also, my social circle is 70% female and I'm really tired of eatching my female friends talk about divorcing men for money like it's a god damn game show.

Women don't care if men off themselves. To them it's just one less predator and oppressor. It makes them happy. They think it's hilarious. They genuinely don't like us. Guys, I almost ended it too. I came sooooo incredibly close! Please don't do it! She won't care. It will make her happy. And she's totally not worth it! Never give her the satisfaction! Get some guy friends and talk to them. Your brothers out here care about you, if you'll let them! I 100% promise you that life gets WAY better! I'm living proof!!

And if he fails to pay those fines for any reason, including just not having the money, then he WILL be imprisoned for real

Tom Brady couldn't keep his wife "happy", Jason Mamoa couldn't keep his wife "happy", etc... Noone can make a woman "happy"!

I think there is a 2 way street. What a woman wants ...my ex was never happy

only in USA but yea, i guess most people generally understand your point

Cannot Agree ENOUGH!!!!!

Absolutely! What about arranged marriages? “Love the person you’re with.” “Being in love” is not the requisite, rather it’s commitment, plain and simple.

@@rickvandusen9271 I think that arranged marriages can be very successful. The familial expectations can be very powerful. Often in arranged marriages the families would encourage the bride and groom to be as "high quality" as possible.

YES!

I am becoming more annoyed at the willingness to run their mouths about that which they know bupkis. Like this comment. Stop announcing that you know zip, nothing, nada about things, pal. You sound like a teenager.

True words. But both must be daily intent and diligent toward each other instead of letting anything else take first place- like social media, always chatting with friends and no time FOR each other, rather be on the phone than ON your mate, etc…

Don’t be discouraged. There are so many good women out there but on the internet we tend to get shown the extremes.

My ex wife was seemingly always unhappy about something and was a quarter -century source of misery...my kids are now adults and saw through her. Now 71 and retired and my kids are my greatest source of happiness. Good luck!

Go to SE Asia. Decent women are everywhere. Find one of the better ones - and NEVER return to the west.

Look around you. Learn. Like the old saying goes ‘There’s a thin line between love and hate.’ Protect yourself from opportunistic harm, coming from where you least expect it.

​@@mamadoom9724 no there aren't. And even if there were good ones, they can change their minds at any moment and big daddy government will come to their rescue.

Props to you. Rub it in subtly as much as you can.

​@@jamesbickle4912How much did you lose?..bitter and stupid much.

@@jamesbickle4912 I always do.

@Paul-uw7us Your story evokes a sense of _Schadenfreude_ in me I'm not even trying to suppress. Is that bad? :)

Vindication!

Because they have a fundamental programming flaw instilled in them in which they have to play the victim and act like prey. I’ve had girls tell me they wear a ring to stop guys from hitting on them. Like oh the horror of someone thinking you’re attractive and talking to you! How terrible!!

That's not what they mean by "good" guy. It has two different meanings. One is Chad Thunderstroke, and two is one of her friend-zone level (not necessarily a friend-zone guy) men who will basically simp for her in her decades post wall can no longer get Chad or Tyrone to blow her back out miserable life.

Most of the women I have known who sometimes wear a ring to look like they are taken seem to do this thinking it is some sort of a deterrent Wearing a ring on the left ring finger can act as a deterrent for those who may be interested in starting a romantic relationship. It can help avoid uncomfortable or unwanted advances from others. While it’s important to note that wearing a ring does not guarantee that someone will not approach, it can serve as a visual cue that may discourage potential suitors.

Projection. Women are attracted to married men. Social proof.

They do it because they see a ring as a green flag and don't realize that men don't act like them. Many married men will agree; the second they started wearing that ring, now all of a sudden the girls want to talk to them

You can see the complete lack of empathy in her eyes.

Relationships should be easy and don't require work? She's going to suffer in her relationships her whole life if she's that delusional.

I think what most people are discovering, due to lack of awareness on the topic and prior run-ins, is what % of the female population are Narcissists. That word is NOT to be taken lightly. It is not just higher self-interest than normal - it is a sociopathy, complete lack of empathy - completely different than a person that knows what "heart" is. It's a different species. Empath children need to be lectured on this matter.

"Eudaimonia" is what Aristotle called it.

I wish she knew ancient Greek. Then she would know that LOVE goes beyond butterflies and thereafter abound simple smooth sailing

No, it's not. Happiness is a choice. You choose to be happy, even when things go badly.

To quote Peter griffin "I find it shallow and padantic"

Commitments especially marriage used to be hallow... not hollow.

True, but let's be fair... it's men as well as women, and men for a longer period of time. Society has become me-me-me. Oy boy.

@@user-ny1ji3vw6y You do know 70% of divorces are initiated by women? It's not like men get any upgrade in any sense a divorce nor any breakup. Like it or not relationships are reciprocal a give and receive one hopes. Just putting it out there, Men have to hit higher standards than women do just to have any relationship and always had to.

@@wchv94str9 Pedantic!! Get it!! (It was too easy to pass up.)

@splendidmisanthropy You can't... happy wife happy life means there is nothing you can do no matter how big your bank account is, probably makes it worse for us, and her friends will encourage her to be happier. Women will obsess with the new shiny feeling they had when they first met you and hold onto getting that feelin back. They will abuse you until you are a submissive puppy that allows them to trample all over you, once this is done they will leave you because you were not happy anymore.

Caroline Celico admitted she had the perfect(and rich) husband and still left him. Just cant win. Its really bad out here in the dating world.

You dont

Also, if she tells you he was narcissistic and emotionally abusive 😅

Even you weren't abusive, many women will invent a narrative that you _were_ in order to avoid any personal responsibility; it's easier to live in a fantasy world than in reality after all.

if he cheated on her look deeper, odds are he may have cheated because there was no intimacy. I filed for divorce because of that but I didn't cheat Thank goodness we didn't have kids. he may decide to cheat instead of divorce because he wants to be there for the kids, but he also wants to be with someone who makes him feel loved. I've also seen women who love to fight. they actually enjoy physical abuse I've had 2 that actually requested it from me. (not at the same time), so not everything is black, and white, there is a lot of grey you're not seeing.

She basically returned her husband they way you return a piece of clothing you end up not really liking

As a child of divorce who's mother initiated divorce on these terms, I concur. Especially since between how much my dad worked to give her the money she wanted (at the expense of him enjoying being active in nature), and then not having enough to care for himself when his Parkinson's disease ended his career and any chance at retirement... My mom even tried to get alimony from him even though he retained full custody of me & my brother.

Boredom is a lack of helping other people. The mindset is "what can someone do for me today?" instead of "who can I help today?"

The hints! I've been through this so many times. Women speak so much and say so little. Then surprise you by blowing up and telling you why they're unhappy. I'm sorry, I'll practice my mind reading.

It isn't the husband's job to entertain his wife. And the "in love" feelings wear off. If excitement is your priority, you shouldn't get married. That's not what marriage is about.

A monster and a parasite.

I do not ever condone violence. But she sure is inspirational.

​@@danwallach8826 i don't condone it and absolutely never would. But in some cases, I understand.

Be a good child, and help his ex be less happy.😊

@@jwtrucker5402 One of these days I’m gonna get professional photos taken of all of us to send out as Xmas cards, but really I’d be doing it so that I can send one specifically to her with an attached note that simply reads “The greatest gift is your absence”. 😎

Nice one man

There's at least two women I know - both with families - who have a big crush on me. One much more so than the other and very much would like to destroy her family unit just for something with me. Because I give her the tingles. Yes, I should avoid her, but practically I can't. The other would if she could get away with it. I'm aware of other orbiters who'd like to but dare not risk anything.

Absolutely true...

Weak men do this also.

Damn. I've never heard that one before, actually, but it is so true. It explains why children raised by a single father become healthier adults then children raised by single mothers. Just as children raised with a mother/father turn out healthier. But raised by single woman who chased off the father with false accusations and legal manipulation, the kid is doomed.

We can probably guess, though, can't we?

Same here. came away from it all with abandonment issues. I have been very hesitant of getting into relationship out of fear of abandonment.

Only pathetic males get married.

Too many people don't beleive in it any more.

Ryan, that may be part of the problem. We are mostly a secular society. Religious ideals are mostly not held or considered. When the church/synagogue were a major part of society, there was a moral standard of the sanctity of marriage as being Godly. Divorce was not an easy decision to make when a portion of society looked down on it.

Hey...your brother?

@@KaiserSoze357 I'm guessing her sister's husband.

​@@jerrym3261They are so sick.

@@jerrym3261 Its all the sislovesme porn and Jesus....everybody needs to just chill...lol

​@@jerrym3261Yeah sounded like it to me too. Threw away two families for nothing. be funny when karma hits & AP is cheating on her, then she comes crawling back.

The grass is greener where you water it

@@rich2209 so....they are watering a bog or swamp ?

@@wchv94str9 Grass doesn't grow in a bog or swamp.

@@bryanwhitton1784 that's the point

​@@bryanwhitton1784Guess you never heard of swamp grass

I hate to think of that happening to cats.

He can find someone better for sure, I agree, but you are all delusional to think these women will end up being alone with cats.

Good luck trying to find one.

Sadly that's not true they simply find another man to enable their behavior and make more men treat us like trash and lie to us creating more damaged women is a sad cycle

The trouble is that there are financial implications to this.

pepperidge farm remembers

"... for better or for worse" hasn't been true for modern women in ages: you lose your money? your health? Bye!

"Until boredom do us part."

no I don't. when was that ever the case?

Until studly comes by do us part.

Are you talking about Emily

@@Lady.Luck. no the other one if i am correct the other woman tried to be a life coach for women trying to leave good marriages

@@user-yz7hx3ty6s got ya. Well Emily has also been divorced and recently had a baby as an unwed mother so I'm not sure we should be taking advice from her either

98% of then are.

That has to make estate planning hard. I want/wanted kids. I married a single mom with 3 kids, who left her cheating ex-husband and took on me.

Same here. 61 and never married. Best decision of my life

​@@percynelson7726it's been decided my nephew will deal with mine.

Im kinda at that point but I'm struggling. I'm 39. Never married no kids. I'm more or less convinced that marriage / relationship isn't worth the risk. However I still struggle with a few things. 1. Never having kids. Knowing I'm the last of my bloodline. 2. I still want to be loved for who I am, knowing that isn't going to happen hurts. It makes the moments when I feel the loneliness that much more potent. I have an active and full life. Work, hobbies, friends etc. There are still those moments. Any advice?

@@Frank-ce1rv How about a dog?

Some women are already planning the divorce on the first date.

Women marry for the divorce. Take away the financial rewards for divorcing a man, and women will no longer want marriage.

Unless they scrub their accounts, like my ex-wife did after our divorce.

Reddit deleted 3 Times my community only because the name was men's right.

Men just need 1. help figure out which are of her ilk, and 2. not letting the little head lead the big head around.

Simps will still go for it

"Don't try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other." - Al Bundy

My neighbor is over 80 and recent remarried to a great woman. They're out there, make sure you're not "dating" to find them.

Bill, your question is part of the problem. Who cares what women want? They need to be concerned with what a man wants and about pleasing him. More men need to realize this. Keep her busy worrying about keeping him happy and most of the b.s. disappears.

Well we can thank good old feminism for all of this

My Ex was eventually diagnosed with a Borderline Personality Disorder, part of that behavior is narcissism, and I now consider her to have been my emotional rapist in the relationship. I too have no contact with my Ex, I consider her to be to toxic for me. And I, like you, thought she was such a wonderful and caring person that I couldn't wait to marry her. The stress of raising children was the trigger that first reveled the true personality behind that mask of kindness. Stress caused her to loose control of her emotions to the point that she would physically abuse the oldest, most active and difficult to deal with, child. And then she would blame it on that less than 2 year old child for being so "difficult" and myself for not being there to prevent it. Nothing was ever her fault, she could always find a way to believe herself to be the victim. A behavior that eventually expanded to everything in the relationship.

Add alcoholic, druggy, constantly verbally abusive or gambler

And if you want children that has both a father and mother?

If you don't pass on your genes, all your ancestors will die with you. Put in the self work and attract a proper woman. Your ancestors were able to reproduce for a reason. The fact that you even exist shows that.

15 years down the drain! That's what i said about college! Lol

Exactly....especially if you were the major wage earner!

Don't worry dude...Ive had plenty of women interested in me...the ones I should of kept I regret and the others ruined my mental health and used me ...enjoy your single life without the ball and chain...women or kids

Keep on your grind. Build up your assets and job. The more you become successful with both, the more attractive you will be to them. Once successful, tread lightly moving forward with women.

When I tell you I'm 67 and exactly the same, you'll despair. I didn't get married until 44, when I met a woman online in the old AOL and Prodigy chat rooms. She flew to me to meet. She'd been twice divorced, but in spite of a 73% chance of our marriage not working, it did; for 20 years until she passed in 2016. We had corresponded online for a year before we met, which gave us a chance to really get to know one another, and to me, that's key. I would not do it again. I do miss her company, however, in many ways, she was a typical woman, including the fact that she had a spending problem. That is, she had no problem spending, and left me $11K in debt. That was on one credit card. The thing is, and women hate this, is that men can be alone, without being lonely. Women can't be alone without being lonely. It drives them crazy. Okay, it's more like a short putt, but you know what I mean. Work on yourself, find your peace, and understand that at your age, you only need a woman for one thing. It's not cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or anything else. Be suspicious of any woman who shows any interest in you. I was, even in the 20s and in peak physical shape, a 5. I have no illusions. If a woman expresses interest in either of us, she's a gold digger. Women scoff at that, saying "y'all ain't rich enough to have any gold to dig," but trust me. I made mid-6 figures when I was working, and mid-5 figures in retirement. No matter what they say, they'll take what they can get and move on to the next poor sucker. Don't be that guy.

@@jamesbickle4912 Have you been divorced yet?

Subjective. How are you a good person? Because you aren't a criminal?