Hey guys! Today's episode is long overdue. I'm talking about MORE double standards within relationships that I've seen again and again. Not only are they unfair, but men are DONE with them. Do you agree or disagree?
@@teresakozell6203 o.O was it a 50/50 investment on both sides or was yours used as 'all the bills plus food' and his was 'toys toy toys'? Only asking because if it was 50/50 then it could be considered justified.. but if it was 'toys toys toys' then it better have been 'toys for both of us' and not just 'more toys for me'
I will say that men and women BOTH should try to change but always for the better even if that better means something different than the expectations of their wife/husband
..well it is THE perspective from guys to "glorify" young female as for the young beautiful skin and beauty .... on the other hand older ladies HAS TO keep their relationship going because IF they know better they may end up alone later on ...and that is only quick response to your post
I'm a Chef. In one of my old jobs my Manager (Female) used to say things like "Is your's that big?" when I was cutting cucumbers. Or "Does your's come out like that?" when piping whipped cream. Reported Her to upper management and She just got a telling off. Now...imagine if the roles were reversed............
That ain't cool. (what YOU did). Snitching like that, you should have just told her YOURSELF. That's what men do. It's not your fault, there's a whole generation of you lads who were never taught how to be men.
Sorry, but unless I was gay that would make me unconfortable. But, not being gay I probably feel that it's really nice that' someone is interested in me. It's always nice to know that someone thinks you're attractive. There is a double standard and it's not all wrong. Women are generally more cautious because if they get pregnant it's not the guy that has to go through that. I believe that certain behaviors like this are imprinted through evolutionary history. I'll put it in a more universal way. People are strange animals. Be kind to your fellow animal.
@kwitwerikok8o863 Did you miss the part that stated that was HIS BOSS? In the workplace, a male supervisor would get fired and possibly arrested for harassment for that type of behavior in the workplace.
@naturalpro2003 yes I did miss that. The work place is no place to concentrate on most anything thing but the task at hand. Good luck in your work place. If anyone is told to knock it off, well its on them and not acceptable.
How about the fact that women SAY they want a sensitive, emotionally open man, but if a man EVER expresses self-doubt, she loses sexual interest in him immediately and the relationship is done.
@@anthonysutherland4108 never a truer word was spoken! THE only reason they say they want you to be emotional is for this. Sadly the best relationships ive had were the ones I showed no emotion at all!
Number 4 I think in particular is why so many relationships don't survive. Men are expected to compromise constantly, but a woman is actually lauded for refusing to do so.
Agreed. The better terms to seek are conforming and flexibility; compromise is mostly where a standard has been removed, bulldozed, what have you. Make no mistake, they can be healthy but usually a compromise is not good.
The double standard that bothers me the most is that men are automatically assumed to be predators until they prove otherwise, while women are automatically assumed to be sweet and innocent until they prove otherwise.
And either way, no proof is good enough to change the original assumption in many minds. Look at all the folks still calling Johnny Depp a “wife beater” and his ex-wife a “victim” despite the proof that she beat him.
"The double standard that bothers me the most is that men are automatically assumed to be predators, while women are automatically assumed to be sweet and innocent." Fixed that for you. There's no proving in today's society. Men can't "escape" being assumed predators.
That seems to be changing a little for the better now that they have started to expose female predator teachers... and thanks to Johnny Depp's unfortunate experience.
A woman can continually talk about things a guy did 2 years ago and just flog him with those things over and over again, but if a man brings up something a woman did 2 months ago he is supposed to have gotten over it.
When its something you said or did 20+ years prior, or even more, its gets quite soul destroying, especially if there have been periods when her behaviour was much less than stellar, but which you can’t really talk about. Having said that i still really love my wife, and now that she has recently passed (after almost 50 tears together) I find i am still trying to process those things she said or did about my behaviour, and if there was anything i could have said or done to make things OK with her 😢.
Yes… I like to reference, loosely, a quote by Marlene Dietrich… you can’t forgive a man and then reheat his sins for breakfast. Forgive or not. But you can’t use past mistakes as ammo.
Story of my life. Every argument went back through the expanding list of everything I've ever done wrong. Most of it she couldn't even remember any details to solve the problem but she knew it made her feel bad so it was still my fault. All too common.
This one just happened to me: When a girl says she is lonely and single, she gets a bunch of sympathy and men are told to grow a spine and ask her out. When a man says he is lonely and single, He gets told to stop being lazy and try harder. To put himself 'out there' and join online dating apps. It sucks.
I mean, that 'is' true though. If you're not going out and meeting people in some way, you're not going to find anyone, that's for both genders. The woman getting that advice? She's not going to improve anything if she follows it, it's just shallow and useless 'advice' that helps no-one lol.
@@serdorv4628 really? So a woman who just sits at home and expects a man to appear is going to meet someone without any effort? Yes, it does work for both genders. Women need to put less effort in, sure... But they still need to put effort in.
@@Grigeralis it very difficult to go to pub, club, public parks? Register on tinder? Unfortunately for man, women live in another totally different world, much easy world and safe.
Thanks so much for recognizing point 5. I experienced sexual abuse as a teenager at school, in public by a group of girls over several years, doing things which would've got criminal charges pressed and the school shut down if genders were reversed. when staying with my wife's family, my lady's sister was really slap happy. She took to whacking my behind quite hard when I wasn't looking. I asked her not to do this politely, she simply saw it as playful. One day, I literally snarled at her telling her to stop and probably looked quite scary (I'm not a small chap and I do lift weights). She! then complained to my lady that I'd been mean to her and had "over-reacted." Fortunately, my lady knows my history, and without going into details, gave her sister quite the telling off! Indeed, as an addendum to point five, in my experience, women will only respect men's boundaries when told to do so by other women! My lady also once told off an angry feminist who said quite openly that whatever happened to men didn't matter! Btw, did I happen to mention how lucky I am to be married to such a wonderful lady!
Your high school experience reminded me of something that floored me when I started attending my local fan-run science-fiction convention. There is a group in SF fandom called KAG, short for Klingon Assault Group (think the 501st, but for fans of the Star Trek aliens) that had a well-known presence at these events. One of these members was a heavyset woman in a scooter, who dressed as a Ferengi - not all members HAD to be Klingons - who would go up to fellow friends, reach into their pants, give them a wedgie, and shout "Underwear check!" First time I heard of that from her, I was flabbergasted, thinking that if I had tried that with a female friend at this event, calling out "Pantie check!", I would have been arrested. Then again, this was an event where, for years, there would be women chastising us guys for even daring to look at the cute cosplayers...and then go to the dealer's room looking for the latest local volunteer firefighter beefcake calendar for charity.
@@davegreenlaw5654 I can well believe it. There's actually a lot of this sort of thing around because women get a carte blanche when it comes to men whether it's physical violence or sexual misconduct, and men are just supposed to take it, I was literally shamed into standing still and taking what went on, and any attempt to push someone off or defend myself was met with accusations that I was a pervert (I ended up with severe genophobia for most of my life from this). Men either don't talk about it, or are encouraged to fetishize it and consider themselves lucky. Heck, I assumed what happened to me was entirely normal and something most boys went through. That's why I mention my experience here, not to plead for sympathy; although the sympathy is appreciated, but to say, yes this does happen! and No, it is not okay! Far from accusing men of sexual assault just because they look at a woman wrong, we need real! equality, which means recognizing that some women, can be just as scummy as some men, and are far more likely to get away with it due to the social or even biological protection from consequences women receive.
@@lawrencewalston2272 Absolutely she is! It would honestly sound like a really bad romance if it didn't happen. Moderately buff, English tenor with severe baggage meets tiny, divorced American Soprano in trans-atlantic romance! there was even an honest to goodness love triangle! At this point, given the current climate, and the fact I don't exactly do well with misandry, I don't know what I'd do without her.
Lots of reasons over lower male life expectancy, including female privilege and advantages- dangerous jobs/ occupational fatalities, wars, worse health care, less on prevention of male cancers etc, incarceration, homelessness, destitution, suicide due to oppression of men, e.g through divorce...
Then it is better that women leave men in pece - decenter them and mind their own business, as statistics show, marriage is better for men than women. And to be single makes women happier than being married. Just let a man take care of his own life expectancy and stress. And a woman take care of hers.
My ex wife wanted me to give up video games entirely. I said, "that's a pretty big ask, but I'll do it if you give up smoking". She said I was trying to be controlling and refused. I already knew we were heading for divorce at this point. The double standard though.
This happened to a friend. His wife deceased now, wife wanted him to give up his bike. He agreed as long as she gave up smoking. She stopped asking to give up his bike from that point.
@@uoabigaillevey exaggerated compliments is flirting. I don't want you to change. I love you the way you are. I'm the luckiest person in the world. You're the most beautiful woman in the world. You're the only person for me. People say these things all the time. They don't actually mean them. That is not a double standard. You don't know what a double standard is. A double standard would be you have to change, but they don't. If you both tell each other that you are perfect the way you are, and you both suggest reasonable changes that mutually benefit you, and you both change, that is not a double standard. As long as you are both changing, it's not a double standard. It's normal to request changes from your partners. It's also normal to call them perfect. That's healthy. You aren't supposed to take it so literally. Lying and exaggeration are part of flirting. Your wife's as does look fat in those jeans, but you tell her it doesn't. Your wife is a 5, but you tell her she is a 10. Your ex may have done something bad, but you didn't communicate that. This is not an example of something bad by itself. That isn't a example of a double standard regardless. A double standard needs two people, with different rules for those two people. You only mentioned yourself. That's one person. If you take that statement literally then it's a contradiction. But a contradiction isn't the same thing as a double standard. To be a double standard she would have to refuse to change. Did she refuse to change? Because you didn't mention that part. That's important information to include.
@@cbernier3 It is still a contradictory statement. "This is perfect" but "this needs to be changed" means "this is not perfect" Perfect means that nothing needs to change.. anything that changes would make it not perfect anymore. Still not a flirt in my opinion. It would have been a flirt, potentially, if the second part of the statement were not included. The second part of the statement negates the first part and exposes it as a lie... and I would take it as condescending at best. Inclusion of the word 'almost' as a predecessor to 'perfect' would make the statement valid otherwise.
@@uoabigaillevey it's only contradictory if you take it too literally. You're still doing it. You're being too literal and too pedantic. You're being like that average redditor jerk. Your autism is really showing. And she probably did not say those things at the same time. You put them in the same sentence, she didn't. Being technically correct often comes across as less romantic, less sexy. Off putting. If you wanted a partner that prefers everything to be logical and technically correct, then you should have looked for that in the first place. It sounds like you are autistic and your ex isn't. That rarely works. Date another autistic woman. Or whatever your preferred gender is. I want a nonbinary person most, but let's see what happens. Saying someone is perfect is normal flirting. If you don't like that, fine, tell your partners not to do that. But that's what they meant. You don't get to tell them what they mean anymore then they get to tell you what you mean. That's the real double standard. To most people, telling someone they are perfect is just one of those things you do when you love someone. It doesn't have to make sense. You're picking a really weird to complain about. I'm sure your ex did worse. Focus on that. You can't win this. You're the only one who has a problem with this. The rest of us are concerned with serious issues. Lack of love, reciprocation, support. Abuse. Fairness. Communication. Having a healthy relationship that is worth it. The rest of us don't care about pedantics that much. I will argue pedantics sometimes but that's a bad habit that I need to stop. Most people don't like it. So it's only good when both people are in the mood for such a thing.
With point five my wife has absolutely tried to shame me the 3 times I haven't "been in the mood" yet she has no problems turning down ever. Then when I get frustrated she says "I'm not a piece of meat"
You need to stand your ground. Turn her down more often. Use that phrase against her. I'd prefer to just be able to talk things out but some people need to taste their own medicine before that can happen. Women need men for sex much more than men need women.
@@uoabigaillevey😂 ya id do that I be like fine be that way if you only want to do it when you want to so do I if you try to get something from someone else bye don't let the door hit you on the way out don't come crawling back bye Felicia 👋
I've got another for ya Emily! When I was married, after our two kids were born, you wouldn't believe the number of women who had the audacity to tell me to my face it was somehow _my duty_ to get a vasectomy! Can you imagine a guy telling a woman what to do with her body like that!!! Insane.
Lived in Vegas 7 years. Women would walk to me and do stupid shit sometimes. Like touch my chest inside my shirt, squeeze me in places, like they were guys…. Clowns. 🤡 One, I bent her hand back, said “don’t touch me”. She called the bouncers about 5 mins later and got herself banned. Thanks Vegas cameras!
@@ThanatoselNyx Feminist axioms: 1) A woman can do anything a man can do. 2) Feminism is not sexist towards men. 3) Women making less money than men on average proves discrimination. It follows from axioms 1) and 2) that: Men and women can do all the same things equally. And it follows from axiom 3) that any earnings discrepancy cannot be due to voluntary choices. So if men and women can do everything equally, and absent discrimination make the same choices, men and women must indeed be functionally the same (according to Feminism).
Bingo we used to be ok with following our gender roles. But wemon fucked all that up now. men still have to act like men and craw up on the cross for wemon and children. As a man you expected to sacrifice for wemon and children and we were fine with that. We stood thare on the titanic and watched half full row boats row off and were happy to die for wemon and children but wemon don't Wana hold up there end of the deal now they want there cake and eat it to. They hate men who try to have there cake and eat it to.
Thank sitcoms for this. Most men (not all tho) are portrayed as either fools or incompetent. Most of the time the women are portrayed as the intelligent/logical one. I will say that this is not always the case.. but look at any sitcom that has been running for a long time.. and look at the ones that only lasted a season or two. The 'funnier' ones tend to have men be the victims of their own actions.. with the woman coming in to save the day. Now.. translate that to real life and do a comparison to reality... it is almost always (tho not always) the exact opposite.
#3. I have a female friend I've had since college. My ex got jealous of her and told me I couldn't talk to her anymore. I told her I had my friend long before my ex came along and if she kept it up I would still have my friend long after my ex was gone. My friend and I are still solid 30 yrs later. 😊
Thank you for coming out to your friends here on Emily's page. That was very brave of you. - - - - - - - You know I'm just jacking with you, right? Although outside of sports, I've never had anyone get familiar with my butt. Outside a couple of towel snaps. Oh, maybe you're an exotic male dancer! Yeah, I discovered in the '70s, in my late teens and twenties, that women are every bit as bad as men, and sometimes worse when it comes to being inappropriate. All they need is their posse and some drinks at a male revue, and no man is safe.
When backpacking through Europe and Asia, in the early 00's it was not uncommon for them to walk up give a quick hello and grab me between the legs. Most looking for paid services of course, - but not always.
Same here. Work colleagues, friends of my wife even, but I never said anything because alcohol was usually involved and I didn't want to embarrass or humiliate anyone. Super annoying though. And yeah I have also NEVER touched or spoken to a woman sexually inappropriately. I'm divorced now and I pretty much steer clear of women in general. The cost/benefit analysis just doesn't add up for me.
Some years ago, I had a female boss. I had been doing a great job, even going above and beyond my job description in many ways. One day, as my shift was about to start, I asked her for a raise. She looked me up and down, smirked at me and said, "I'll give you a raise, but not on your paycheck." I turned around, took my timecard out of the slot, dropped it on her desk in front of her, told her to figure it out and mail me the check, and went home. The next day, I got a job across the street.
One of my ex's decided to try going through my closet, picking out what she did not like. I stopped her by telling her she was welcome to do that, but we were going to her house next, and it was my turn. Anything I did not like was going to get tossed, no argument.
Let's be honest, women make all the choices. Who they date, what to do on the date, sometimes what guys wear. Women have all the power and they know it, that's why a lot of guys stopped trying to date.
A man chooses who he will marry, though. It's up to us men to make the right choice on our partner. If they change for the worse during the marriage, that's what divorce is for.
Just this morning my x said to me. And I’m going to quote. “I’m sorry for ever having a shredded doubt about your depression years ago but until you actually go through it, nobody really gets it that it’s a real thing so from the bottom of my heart I apologize. “ I left her 5 years ago because she didn’t love me or respect me because I have major depression. But now she is older and the men aren’t interested in her other than a fling. She is lonely and depressed because she is alone. I’m actually doing better myself. I’m alone as well but I’m ok with being alone. It’s peaceful.
It really Is. Life got a lot harder these last years ,and having at least, a place where you know It's pretty much drama free helps a lot. Sad that we had to get to this point, though.
When I was first married I came home my wife was angry about something I had allegedly done. Typical husband I asked “what’s wrong” and her response was “you know “. I don’t like playing games never have.. I told her I wasn’t going to play 20 question either tell me what I did to upset her or get over it! She understood right then that communication was important in our relationship and it worked. Needless to say she is not shy about pointing out my failings but is quick to thank or praise me. I’ve generally felt I was appreciated in the almost 50 years we’ve been married. I got a special lady in my life and love her endlessly.
TW: SA / R Number 5 - yep. My ex-GF raped me (my virginity too) & sexually assaulted me and she didn't think anything of it. I had said "no" to her previous sexual advances due to nerves, anxiety and it being my first time & I wasn't ready at that time. Her response was to scream, shout and swear at me, because she didn't get what she wanted. I've just started to open up about it recently and I'm a mess.
Sorry, man. Whatever anyone else says, or how anyone else reacts, know this: she is a criminal. She may never be punished for it in this life, but she is a rapist. At least you and I know that.
If she did not respect your boundaries and actually screamed at you for trying to enforce those boundaries you should have gotten her out of your life. Not victim shaming.. just pointing out what you probably already know.. but this id more for telling others what they should do if they encounter a similar situation. She would have been controlling and abusive if you had stayed with her. Glad you got out.
I agree 100% with everything, especially No 9. I would also add to your list that a woman can forget an important date like his birthday but heaven help the man who forgets her birthday or anniversary !!
Wow I dealt with that with my ex... She didn't do anything for my birthday but when it came to her birthday i didn't go to her family dinner at her mother's on the night before her birthday but I did go on the family dinner at her grandparents ON her birthday and she threw that in my face as a reason she was ending things. I was like are you kidding me?
The stuff she is describing is why I’m glad I’m single. Last one I couldn’t even go to my friends garage and work on her car without her thinking something is up. I hate relationships and I hate the way women try to control you over the last little detail
In my 7+decades of life I have known a lot more faithful men than women. I started walking at night at 12 years old, and and my my was that an eye opener about the affairs going on. Some of the women were seeing 3 or 4 different men a week. By the time I was 14 years old I had 30 something years-old women crying on my shoulder and confessing things that would make a salor blush, because they knew I wasn't going to tell anyone else. For a 14 year old boy that was a lot of baggage to carry around, but that's life.
@@zakariyajama8004 yep . One time I was carrying a try and my hands were not free , she started messing with my zipper , messing with the package. And of course they rest were giggling like school girls. .
Women's day? Are we not gonna talk about they get a whole freaking month too? And for the record men don't get a single day ever. (What's even more messed up is that pride month over shadow's men's mental health month, which I don' t think is even acknowledged at all.)
Oh gawds! Number one. When I attended a boarding school in the US, I got there very late in the year, about 5-6 weeks before Prom, that everyone had to attend. Not knowing how badly this would have affected my social standing, I listened to a weekend staff member who said to me "Oh, that poor girl [not mentioning her name] doesn't have anyone to take her to the Prom, maybe you should be a gentleman and ask her." Like I said, BIG mistake! She started stalking ME. Every evening or weekend activity, I'd get into the van, and there she was, in the back row, smiling at me. It got to the point that I would not only wait until the last minute to sign up, but try as best I could to sneak a peek at the signup list to see what activity she was on so that I could NOT be on that one. Got a lot of staff yelling at me for both those things. And when I told staff about this, that I didn't like her always being on the same activity as me, following me around, it was pretty much laughed off. (Yeah, when I tell this story, I often end with "Yeah, that weekend staff member treated us like the students she taught through the week. Oh, did I happen to mention that she taught kindergarten!")
I have met all of two women like you in my real life. They have also taught me extensively about how women think. And about how to adjust better with my own decisions with 'stupid?' mistakes that were made. I really appreciate you putting out the videos that you do, it has taught me extensively about things that the females of my life have never done before. 🙏🙌🙏🙌🙏🙌
Man, I swear it is so hard to believe that you got divorced. You speak so much truth that a lot of women ignore. I just cannot picture anybody wanting to divorce somebody like you. You are a gem!💎
Don't forget about the double standard of what happens when someone shows interest, hits on, or an ex reappears to someone in a relationship.... It seems to not be a problem for a woman to talk, converse, and entertain them and eventually mention that they are in a relationship, and she's just being nice... however a man is supposed to immediately give a firm decline and the longer he continues the conversation, the more wrong he is and is disrespecting his relationship.
I especially agree with the bit about men being expected to change when they enter into a relationship, but the woman does not. I'm not going to twist myself into a pretzel for a girlfriend. I also quite agree with the one about "butt slapping".. I don't want anybody touching me unless they've asked for and received my permission first, even if it's just a tap on the arm.
I have another one: I almost never like to dance. Recently at a party in my company, a female colleague wanted me to dance with her. She grabbed my arm and pulled on me with her whole weight, ignoring that I obviously didn't want to dance. All the other colleagues around saw her actions, but acted more irritated by me, being so refusing. Neither them nor the lady ever had a glimpse of idea, that she was far too compelling against me. Women tend to not accept refusing behavior of men, especially not, when it happens in public!
Thank you Emily, you're doing a great service. Regarding #5 (men being assaulted by women): heard from a very reliable *female* friend. A guy gets beaten (according to her literally) black-and-blue by his wife, goes to the local police station to register a complaint. The cops laugh at him for getting beaten by his wife & refuse to record his complaint.
I'm going to be 59 in Aug. I stopped dating like 4 yrs ago just because non of the women in the age rage I was looking acted like they had no concept of what the word compromise means. Would I like to be in a relationship? Sure, but it's just not worth the effort at this point in my life.
A father of 2 daughters here. I never thought I'd hear that I should man up, from them when I opened up about some of the more painful aspects of my life. Though to be fair she caught herself within a short time of saying that, but by that point I'd put the mask back on. It's sad that many of us have female friends or family that would rather see us die on our horse, than watch us struggle through our pain. I'm lucky in that I don't get that from my wife, but she is singularly alone as a woman in my life that I've not felt this from.
I have long hair that I keep in a pony tail in warm weather. While standing in line at the pharmacy and conversing with the 2 pharmacists,both female,the woman behind me yanked on my ponytail. I promptly turned around and she said,”I couldn’t help it!”. I then grabbed her in an inappropriate place and claimed I couldn’t resist and turn back around. One pharmacist was barely able to keep from laughing while the other couldn’t help herself,ducked under the counter,and was laughing hysterically. The woman who grabbed me failed to see the humour, but I doubt she ever did it again. He
haha yea, i once pulled over since this person was stuck on the side of the road outside of town, flat tire, i asked if she needed any help and she said "of course i need help obviously", then i said ... you´re right, got in my car and drove off.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her..
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back..
She moved on to some Chad. The only reason for her to come back to you would be Chad ditching her and her needing someone to take care about her, pay her bills. You dodged a bullet, man. Tread your own path! Prosper and thrive!
When you opened with that comparison about the slapping of the butt I couldn't help but think that 100 years ago women were expected to take so much from men and just like it because they were "lucky" to get that kind of attention. The shoe really is on the other foot and it sucks.
I believe it's a double standard that dating apps require height, but not weight. In general, women notice more about a men's height than men do about a woman's height. However, generally men notice more about a woman's weight than her height. Yet if a dating app required people to not only to enter their height, but their weight, it would be an outrage. And understandably so - maybe neither height nor weight should be listed. I celebrate people's physical attributes. We are as we are, and for a the most part we are built how we're built. It's important to acknowledge that in dating, everyone has preferences - if you're not a match based on that, that's okay. But if you're judging someone generally because of their physical attributes, that's not okay. Thanks for putting this list together Emily, and thank you for what you do for equality! (reposting this from my comment in the Part 1 series in hopes of getting more visibility)
One thing i'm tired of as a double standard is when single women think they can do what they want with other guys online or offline and gets away with it. Then if a single guy does it with other women online or offline he gets shamed for it.
The problem is how you rase up your children. When i was younger it happened me multiple times the girls was thinking i have to be interested in them just because they are girls. They was thinking boys have no type and to be a girl is enough. Once i refused them their friends was asking me what is wrong with me to dare to refuse a girl and how nice she is etc. And it was mostly truth but i just was not interested in them and sometimes they began to doubt my orientation because i did not take first that come to my life like if i was expected to do so. It was so strange and stupid. No wonder they grow up in such a crooked people. But once i was refused by a girl i liked (one of those criticising me for refusing the others) it was over. No discussion, do doubts about her orientation, no friends talking on my behalf with her. Nothing. It was just another day in her life.
Snooping. If a woman searches her man's closet, dresser, wallet, or phone it's reasonable. If a man does it, he has trust issues. Clothes. A woman won't divulge her shoe or clothing size...ever. Swim suits. A woman will spend weeks searching for the perfect suit for her body type, modesty level, flattery, color......A man will wear whatever and more likely what his woman bought him. Lord help the man who buys clothes for his woman, and RIP to the poor bastard that bought swim wear for her.
@@doogle2822 My bf tells me all the time that my behind is big. We both laugh about it. I think the problem with a lot of women is that they search for reasons to be offended, because that's their way of getting attention. I've been with him for almost two years now, and we have yet to have our first argument. If you find someone who doesn't crave drama, don't let them go.
With the 'staying in touch with female friends' point, it's the emotional bullying that gets me wound up ... she would say, "Sweetheart, I'm not here to pick your friends" then when that friend calls, I get the silent treatment, sex is off the table for at least a couple of weeks! The moodiness, the 'no you go' to joint outings, the purposeful sitting in the chair instead of cuddling up on the sofa and so on and so forth. I know why this happens, there's even a name for it, 'Cognitive Dissonance'. She actually genuinely believes that she should not judge or control her man's friends, but her sub-conscious fear, anxiety, jealousy then becomes logically irreconcilable and you have a cognitive dissonance: two contradictory thoughts both believed faithfully.
Emily, You are a national treasure. 62, married for the last 31, still going strong. Your posts are teaching people far and wide. Keep up the great posts! Guys, protect this woman. She's a national treasure.
This reminds me of an AITA where the man asked if he was a jerk for asking his girlfriend why she needed a sleep.deprived him to pick her up at 1:30am when she was supposed to have a ride. My comment was that "plans fell through" would take as long and as much battery as saying "the concert is over" (her message), but would provide a call to action for her boyfriend to come get her. In response, I am still periodically getting women saying "that doesn't matter, he should be considerate and out her safety first" as if he was nothing but a servant she did not have to reciprocate the co.sideratio towards.
Top 10 Lists make a little noise, but a whole Series on a particular subject makes a lot more noise. "The Squeaky Wheel gets the Grease." Double-Standards, just like Delusional Expectations, needs to stop, so please, Emily, Make Noise!! ✊
With #4, I'm going to be 58 next week. Do you really think I'm going to change very much? The only thing that is changing much is my tolerance for bullshit. It's getting lower.
Random drunk girl that I don't know gives me a hug at a party. I take a step back. She immediately starts crying. Three guys who know her come along. They try to sooth her: "Maybe he's gay, maybe it's because he's German, maybe he's a prude". True story. I have rejected many advances like that. Every single woman said the exact same thing: "This never happened to me before". So basically, all men they are into are just assumed to be into them, too, and they do not see the projection. That is something women and sex offenders have in common, it's truly disgusting.
You are spot-on across the board. I gave up on the idea of seeking relationships with modern women over 20 years ago, and I grow more glad that I did every single day.
I'm a Millenial, I was thinking that I was a kid when I was a kid. But now I realize that (in the eyes of people) I was a more male kid than I was a just kid.
When we married my wife's witness was her ex boyfriend and my witness was my ex girlfriend. It can be done. We still see both of them (perhaps not often enough)
I can be friends with certain segments of the female demographic:- 1) those I'm related to. 2) women I just don't find attractive. 3) the wives of male friends. 4) those who are too old or young for me to consider. 5) Gay women. A woman who I find attractive, and IS single and would tick a lot of boxes as a partner....... I'd struggle with as a friend. I'd eventually want more.
Thank you for this Emily. I look at channels like this from time to time and am ALWAYS AMAZED at the virtual absence of comments made by women. Even the replies are virtually all men. You are one of a number of platforms where women could be learning about themselves, as viewed through the eyes of men, and perhaps consider a bit of self - examination? But then that would require acknowledging accountability for their behavior. And of course, this double standard "issue" is a two - way street as one woman's reply, to a comment below, DID bring up the 50/50 rule in today's relationships. But even the 50/50 rule will become a double standard if part of it is not to the woman's liking or benefit. How are we men supposed to learn about ourselves through the eyes of women if they won't comment on these "issues" and give us logical reasons for their behaviors? I was in a five year relationship with a woman but she couldn't talk with me about her feelings. She would leave letters on my computer keyboard for me instead. Letters don't convey emotions, eye contact, voice and other visual or auditory forms of real communication. When I sat with her and tried to get her to talk, she just stared straight ahead and wouldn't even look at me. I knew that she had met someone new and my efforts to try to understand what was happening fell on deaf ears. She left in October of 2004 and that was when I went MGTOW. I've dated no one since. She married the guy and after two kids she divorced him. Now, she's with someone else and had another kid. I'm single and left with NO TRUST in women where love relationships are concerned. The hassles are gone and life is good.
One thing about setting "dating" or "relationship" filters is that they don't have to be rigid. You might fond someone who fits 9 of your criteria, but fails on one of them. As a result you have to evaluate whether or not the one "failure" is a deal breaker.
About the "wanting to know where you are when going out" there is the nice, considerate version of letting your partner know where you're going to be and for approximately how long (like, they're going out to dinner after work, don't expect me home until around midnight...) and then there is the controlling version, where you need to "report back" constantly to update where you are, and with whoom and what you're doing... I don't care who puts those demands, they are being controlling and are to be avoided in a relationship. To not tell your significant other anything about where you're going or when you'll be back is not great either. My mom almost divorced my dad when he got upset because she asked him to let her know when he went over to the neighbours house. He got angry because he felt she treated him like a kid, but my mom just wanted to know if she'd been yelling for him to come down to eat in vain for the last two hours because she had no idea he'd left the house. So yeah, just be nice and considerate and things will work out. My dad now lets my mom know when he's going somewhere and she doesn't wonder if he's had a heartattack and died in the garage or something when she calls his name and gets no response.
The old saw that reflects #4 is: "Women get with men, thinking the man will change, and he doesn't. Men get with women, thinking the woman won't change, and she does."
At 15 I was stalked by an adult woman. She showed up at my school all the time. Hung around the cafeteria just starting at me. Showed up outside buildings I was in staring through windows. Started telling everyone I was dating her and my actual gf. Everyone believed her and being in a Catholic School I almost got expelled for being a "practicing polygamist." Constantly kept asking me to get her pregnant. She showed up at my house with a knife. Screamed "TILL DEATH DO US PART!" on my front stoop for hours. I had to call the cops on her and they wouldn't take it serious until my gf who was with me got on the phone. They arrived in like 10 minutes flat when they heard a woman was in trouble. It was getting seriously dangerous. But whenever I tried to tell people what was going on and the fear me and my gf were expereincing, I was told I should feel lucky with them saying "I wish I had a stalker." Meanwhile a fellow classmate was saying she was being stalked because another classmate sat behind her in class. The class was seated Alphabetical and he was gay. But what does that matter? She got so much sympathy the teachers and student resource officer (cop) sprung into action and had her "stalker" moved to another class giving him verbal warnings/threats to stay away from her. She later got pregnant by a friend of mine and claimed her baby was the product of Aphrodite and Satan. Her child was taken away and she ended up institutionalised. The poor classmate who was threatened eventually dropped out by the pressure he had for being a "creepy stalker."
At work, I work in a predominantly female field, when I was injured I was told repeatedly by a supervisor or boss to lift the "heavy" things despite having a Doctor's note stating I'm not allowed to lift more than 10 LBS and I had communicated that. I was told I was being difficult and needed to "toughen up." When ever one of my female co-workers was injured they had no issues of anyone asking them to do things they weren't supposed to do.
