DM's that make you roll for EVERYTHING 

make a vid on dms who just don't prepare

My favorite one of these was having to roll every time I wanted to bow. Never passed and constantly fell on my face. It was kinda funny, tbh, but still annoying.

Just realized your little girl’s name is the same as my sister’s, it totally caught me off guard with how uncommon it is

Factor is expensive and only a good idea for people who can afford takeout for every meal, I very much dislike presenting it as a good value. It really is _great_ food, but please be aware before purchasing with the expectation of value.

@@grey5751 youtube should just ban sponsored created ad's. really ruins the viewing experience.

top comment. you win the internet. We can go home folks.

Then one of them rolls for the DM and they crit-fail their roll to be a DM, leading to the group ripping up his notes, all out of sheer rage.

Holy shit 🤣

xD

Been through that. I once sat there for like 10m while 9 rolls went out in a scenario of our paladin pissing on our druid who was one of those tree races. They had to roll for everything and kept failing. Pissed all over himself. Druid tried to kick him and got his leg stuck in the mud and fell down. Tries to help druid up fails roll check, they both fall down.

it was stuck, min 14 strength to open.

Ok but I’ve actually had a DM do this to me, it was a DC21 strength check. It wasn’t a pull/push thing, they just wanted it to be impossible for some reason. I asked and they just said that they wanted to not have us in the door yet (weird way to railroad)

"It does both. I was here yesterday, it actually goes both ways."

Exactly what I thought 😂

DM: When is a door not a door? Player: I’m not doing this with you!

When your knees crack so loud it makes fixtures sentient

I've never heard that before, that's hilarious!

The door is a mimic

"The door locks itself in fear"

"The door notices your approach. Roll for initiative." "Wha... Why?" "The door pulled out a nail bat." "The FU-"

Reality can be whatever I want.

"Give me an Intimidation check. I'll contest it with a Wisdom saving throw."

Player: Did we just become friends? DM: Yup! Player: 😍 DM: …….. DON’T TOUCH MY DRUMS!!!

thats the same energy as a boss rejecting an employee's 2 weeks notice

"...so are we married now or what?"

It's an invisible dragon that breathes silently. The dragon is permeable to flour.

They've got a high bonus to stealth, obviously. It's one of their defining traits that few DMs bother with.

It was not. Not even a little bit.

@@XPtoLevel3 You are both madlads and we love you for it. Also, happy holidays and happy new year to you and your families! ❤🤗

At some point in I started believing these skits were just an idea, they had an Idea of what they wanted to do and it just turns into something else.

I genuinely cannot tell if there was a script to begin with, and I love it

​@@syliscloud7808like most campaigns do, that would make a lot of sense

"Sorry, you failed your survival check. The dragon rolled a 19"

perfectly streamlined combat: roll a survival check.

My next round would be: - Hand the DM my character sheet. - Pack my stuff. - Tell the DM to let me know how their book went. - Go home and do something fun.

I think if it was a one off joke then it wouldn't be too bad, if it was as extreme as the video though then yeah, not a great table to play at@@MonkeyJedi99

@@MonkeyJedi99 It really comes down to playstyle and player expectations. This could be really fun with the right group and played for comedy on purpose.

@@MonkeyJedi99 i think you only get one free object interaction per round

@@Ana_Ng Um... 5 levels in fighter, 5 in rogue. Cunning action and multiple attack actions. Eh?

These type of DMs also love to introduce critical failures to everything that normally doesn't have them. Of course, the enemy NPCs never slip and stab their friends. Nonono.

At that point just call them out. They're actively making the game one-sided because every action you take has to not only be approved by the DM (Bad DMs make stuff up to keep players under control all the time), but then it ALSO has to succeed the RNG dice-check to bail them out of acknowledging any decision you could make. These guys just want to shove their cool NPCs down your throat and play wargames against the players.

Well, I think that’s one of the groups that do that. The other main reason that DMs do it is when they’re afraid to just take hold of the reins and dictate reality. It can be scary for new DMs to wield the power they have over the world of their game. They feel unqualified to just say “that happens” and move on because they feel like they have to game-ify every aspect of the session.

lmao

​@@Crocogator When I do crit fails I try and make them fail upwards if possible. My favorite is when a player misses so bad they find the secret door.

Constitution (survival) to be precise

And I thought it was a death save

#darksouls

I would say history, the dm knows the future after all

unironically had a DM who thought that's what survival was for and used it that way consistently.

To be fair, "poke it with a 10-foot pole" has been a tried-and-true method to find traps since the days of the Tomb of Horrors.

To be fair, being careful is often better than being sorry

I say that just to be like "Ah, it swings open regularly, because there was nothing special about it." :'V We have some good laughs because of stuff like that, obviously don't do it too much but it's pretty funny, especially when they decide the very obviously trapped door is fine.

"I open the door." "Okay, go ahead and describe that for me..."

If something is wrong about the door, I’d rather call for a roll and not disclose what’s wrong or what’s needed. That way, players aren’t spending valuable gaming time strategizing about every manner of minutia, which really kills the momentum and immersion.

aka Paranoia.

Roll for your knees Roll for your ankles

A hidden fae was constantly casting Grease on the stairs

we had a player that was a 300+ pound warforged with bad dex and he wanted to run up and down stairs to train like rocky. He had a nat1 on his dex check, which resulted in him bumping into an npc, losing his balance, and fall down the stairs, crushing another NPC to death.

@@soulsavior2037 CEEAAASAAAAAAAAAARR

John Wick moment.

Family Guy style

Also, DM Guides need to be written better by explaining this matter in detail.

In my server I went ahead and made a "Feedback" Channel so I would know if my players were bothered by something or felt something was too lenient or difficult. It hasn't been used all too much, BUT I have been told I'm doing a good job, so that's always a confidence boost

@@commandercaptain4664 But it's so boring to read those

Sorry, you’re gonna need to roll a charisma check to see if people notice this comment

You're gonna need a persuasion check to make him roll charisma for his performance check.

@@SnowAngel27 Aaaaand that’s a Perception Check to see if you actually _saw_ that reply.

​​​@@cameronspencer9619That's gonna be an INT check to see if You can come up with that reply

He rolled a natty 20

damn

with this logic they should have you rolling for every sentence of common spoken

The rolling for every sentence thing reminds me of a dm I had once. Basically we were infiltrating some place and a guard noticed me after I failed a stealth check. I tried to convince him I belonged here and I was asked to roll for deception. But then the dm made the guard absolutely riddle me with questions and every time I had to tell a new lie he made me roll for deception again. We were like 7 rolls deep before I finally failed and ofcourse the guard then immediately tried to arrest me, no further questions asked. Turns out he had some big escape scene planned, and it was admittedly pretty cool, but railroading should be at the very least subtle lol.

Based on The old republic gameplay, I can say that time spent in customs in planetary spaceports is a surprisingly significant part of the star wars universe yes.

@@saphironkindris this one was an Empire campaign. We were inquisitors and ISB, basically we were searching a bunch of planets in a few sectors looking for a escaped master Jedi. While I understand the ‘realism’ of doing it, especially for major planets it starts to feel tedious an almost silly when there’s an insistence to do it when we are going to almost a dozen planets in that session.

@@RKNGL Yeah, it's real tedious in SWTOR too lol

Oh my god. I think I'll be glad I didn't roll a 20 🤣

Thats actually quite the image xD

It came so out of left field its amazing

Pathfinder be like

​​@@realdragon3.5 was the bigger offender, but yeah as a pathfinder vet it is still VERY guilty of it lol

Lol

And how fast COULD you spin a cow?

did you roll well?

My brother in christ, you can't just say that like it's a normal sentence and then just dip without giving us context 😭

That's amazing

THAT'S SICK AS HELL i love that !! thank u so much for sharing, having one of my PCs become an NPC bc they get Too Cool is now a new goal

My first DnD character died to stirges, my second DnD character died to kobolds My non DnD characters: turned into alien, got ripped apart by alien, caused end of the world killing everybody, other PC used bomb on me and one almost drowned

thats happened to me before, it is annoying

That’s why there needs to be more hidden rolls made by players but whose reasons are revealed by DMs.

Thats dumb too

Your DM is in the right here. You gotta tell him or her that you're trying to sneak so he can tell you to roll.

@@commandercaptain4664 Hidden player rolls are disregarded. Describe what you're trying to do, wait for a prompting from the DM, then roll in clear view of the DM.

I still do this as a "fairly new DM" But only for opening doors I know something is dangerous behind it like dungeons. I got chewed out on a different comment for doing this, but in reality.. I just wanted to stop my sorcerer from opening random doors in a dungeon by themselves...so the strength checks were a good way to dissuade them and get others to help. These days the door rolling mechanic is still in place but only for heavy doors for abit of tension. Since they learned in dungeons: "Try to check for things behind the door 1st." Still better then "Congrats you just opened the door to 6 guards who will most likely outspeed and murder this sorcerer in 1 turn" (though said Sorcerer DID in their 1st battle run ahead and got critted by bandits and went down, didn't die.. but it did teach them to stay behind allies in battle wich they do. But atleast allies were in walking distance not 3 turns away.)

Well I do rolls for anything that could REASOMABLY fail. Opening a door is easy and should work everytime, kicking a door down requires strength so str roll. Now a fail for that doesn't do anything and a crit fail is a sore ankle for flavor but doesn't affect anything (although I've had players ask if it could). It's all about being reasonable with expectations and outcomes. Also trust between you and the DM that they aren't trying to hurt you. Plus it's important everyone understands how the game will be run and if that isn't their play style just talk to the dm. :)

​@@kotlolishI'll be honest, that's pretty excessive. If the door is heavy that's one thing, but dont set up the heavy doors just to protect the players or prevent an action. What you were doing is essentially railroading and preventing players from making choices, even if they are bad choices.If they want to split up that's their choice as a player, if something bad happens as a result, that is a consequence to those actions. Now if I know there's a tripwire on the door, I might give them a perception check to see if they feel the tension of the wire as they are opening it, If not, they get hit with the trap. Let the natural consequences teach them, not arbitrary rolls. Think about it from their perspective playing a game where you can choose to try damn near anything. "I want to sneak into the next room cuz my character isn't attached to the party yet and he's always scouting ahead". Instead he's met with "well you have to have help from the party to progress cuz this door is heavy" it's no longer about the players character or their choices Not trying to bash you, just genuinely help you improve.

I guess that makes sense if it wasnt a squishy Sorcerer who did this.. but I get ya. This is good advice.@@hobblesgames9376

@@kotlolish As a player who had a couple other players ruin a session because they kept opening doors alone and just wandering off on the map (roll20 makes that easy) I appreciated that our DM did the same thing on the next session because we ended up in so many avoidable situations of partysplitting because of it. Then again, dying because you're being stupid is a good way to learn not to be stupid so I'm torn on it. Would depend if the other players are new-new or not.

"Roll to see if that's still true."

"It says on your character sheet that you're chaotic neutral. Are you sure you're pro-vax? Maybe you just have some questions you heard Boe Rhogan ask?"

@@mars7304 this makes me wanna play a flat earther who quotes an elven equivalent of Alex Jones “THERE PUTTING MAGIC IN THE WATER THAT MAKES THE FREAKIN OWLBEARS GAY!”

The rolls come later as initiative. Knock can be heard from 300FT away. By comparison, for a car horn to be legal, you need to be able to hear it from 200FT. Knock knock. Who's there? Everyone.

Every caster becomes a wildmagic caster

​@@Zalied I have something like this in my campaign. The artifacts they have to collect cause magic to be unstable around them so everyone rolls wild magic when in their vicinity (last level of the dungeon which has the boss with it) Tho since we have a bountiful luck halfing I gotta make some adjustments.

​@@Nesseight Me: Alright these dungeons are gonna be alive, the more noise yall make the more things might dynamically change. Players: Loudly argue and constantly use knock spell Also players: surprised when a patrol ambushes them mid-fight

There's fun critical fumble for caster, there are things like "Your teeth are replaced with nails"

the wizard skits are the best!

The gm

Sir before you can say anything I need you to roll first for if the words come out and secondly another roll for stuttering... And please make another roll for being generally unaware that the people you go to say this too are even there...

the dm obviously? is that really even a question?

The player only stayed to find out how far the DM would go.

@@YSleepish Sometimes, the player has the responsibility to just say "fuck it" and leave.

I allow player ingenuity to circumvent dice. If they come up with a plan that lines up according to previous rolls and strategy, they don’t even have to roll for the plan outcome, it automatically succeeds (or at least lowers the DC of that outcome). This helps get them more actively involved than just chucking the mathrocks.

True, for very mundane things a crit fail should definitely be flavor only, but my party and I love crit fails, just gotta make sure everyone's game play preferences are similar :)

Fumbles should only happen in degrees of the challenge’s difficulty. If you fumbled a DC5 roll, then something slight is added to a normal failure. If you fumbled a DC30, something catastrophic should happen.

I punish crit fails...severely

@@larrydotson2625 So every 1/20 rolls they make a player dies or gets horribly debilitated? How do you make it through a single session without a TPK?

@@ruukinenIt's not truly "1 in 20", is it? Because there's this thing called pseudo-random, which is how computers work. And that's how real life works too. I've had sessions where no one rolled a 1 in any roll (and we had more than 50 combined rolls) and then I've had other times where there were 5 1s in a row. By the same player. In the same combat. It's a 5% CHANCE, not a 5% GUARANTEE. There is a CHANCE that a thing happens. No need to go to the extremes with their suggestion that they "punish crit fails severely".

Don't cry over burnt milk.

Pouring is a skill check for sure my guy

Honestly as a kind of "break from the main story" I'm not mad about it but only if it was just that. Like imagining a bunch of amateur chefs running around a busy castle kitchen just fucking everything up for a kings birthday sounds hilarious to me lol

I have proficiency with the cookery kit and I still frequently fail that check.

@@hobblesgames9376 it was a sort of break from the main campaign, we were doing a quest to rid a manor of ghosts and the grandmothers ghost was haunting the kitchen. To simplify things, we had to help it prepare dinner and dessert so it could move on It was cool, but like I said it was annoying when we had to roll for every step, and I mean EVERYTHING. One of the players had to make a dex save to make sure he didn’t drop any eggs onto the countertop while he was cracking them

Thanks! Same to you!

...roll for it

@@ponroko630 natural 20 *teleports home *

I don't think that's something the GM just brings up at session 0.

@@RuSosan i dont know what kind of games you played but at any tables i have been the rules got explained and any house rules or rule changes as well something so disturbingly unintuitiv just to do instead of telling anyone... yikes

@@AVD223 Are you even picking up what I'm putting down here? Cause it seems you're talking _past_ my reply now. I didn't say a word about games I've played in, just in general that a GM who literally bullies the players in the manner of this sketch most likely wouldn't be good enough of a GM to announce "So hey you guys will be rolling for everything you do!" at sesh 0 either. 🤨

Dies of 1d4 toe stubbing damage

You don't become immune to accidents just because you're a seasoned adventurer.

​@@Vassiliniayes but I play games (regardless of format) for a break away from reality, not to be constantly reminded of it.

@@ashtonhoward5582 that's valid, I guess it's just a difference of opinion. If you don't like it and the DM won't compromise it may be best to find a new table or a new DM. I've never DMed but if I had to, I'd honestly fudge any lethal rolls that occurred in early to mid campaign so players get some time to enjoy the characters they made.

@Vassilinia Depends on the adventure in question. If one is merely surviving from the clutches of the Eldritch Ones, then a skip and a trip might pose a relevant danger, but if you’re the magical equivalent of Dr. Manhattan, not so much.

my DM does that too it's so annoying, I have to roll every time for questions like "are there any hallways leading out of this room" because he doesn't tell us that

Critical fails aren't a thing for a reason. I wish Larian understood this. I wish more people in general understood this.

I remember I explained to my GM at one point she created this scenario mathematically and I asked her why she asked us to roll stealth when she made the mistake of telling us the DC beforehand. We all had a +10 from Pass without Trace. No one had a stealth bonus under 5 (I had a 7 myself). She set a DC 15. She was in blatant denial that the only way for us to fail was on a Nat 1. Straight up said "There's tons of ways you could fail". My sister in christ, how?

Are you referring to if you have high modifiers? If I role a two on a disarm check and I'm not a rouge I fail in that game since I have low modifier. Even with a DC 10. I'm confused what you mean. Critical fails are a thing in both dnd and bg

​@@Zedge-yq9sdNah BG3 actually has some DC 2 checks. They usually come up when using your tadpole to manipulate someone in Act 1. Or when you force the pod open for Shadowheart.

In 5e there is no critical fail. A 1 or a 20 literally only means an auto miss or an auto hit in combat. There is literally no rule about 1 or 20 on skill checks. You’re an idiot.

Find the focus of each encounter, then have a check based on that. Make sure any other rolls are necessary to that focus. Anything beyond that should be treated as common knowledge if the player brings up a subject.

Thank you so much! I will certainly remember to do this when running Strixhaven, but I’m sure you could use this “philosophy” in any campaign.

Those are just passive checks in 5e. Also in 5e you auto-succeed any check if you spend 10 times the normal amount of time.

It was in 3,5 as well.. Taking 10 was also taking twice the normal amount of time as necessary and it needed to be in a circumstance where you had no pressure whatsoever. You could also take 20 taking like 10 times as much time or something like that. There was also something about not being able to take one (or both) on untrained skill check. Like you can't take 10 on a swimming check if you don't know how to swim

I abhor when players do this. Players describe what they are trying to do and wait for the DM to prompt them to roll. That's it. Any "hidden player roll" is disregarded.

Your DM probably thought you were at an Ikea.

My dm just straight up didn’t tell us things even if we did roll. We were solving a puzzle and a mirror was missing a piece so I asked to do an investigation around the room and floor. I had like a 17 and he says “you don’t find anything”. About 10 minutes when we were all confused later he starts describing that there was a piece of mirror glass on the floor. I asked him why I didn’t find it, he said “well I didn’t want you finding it yet”.

It’s helpful with immersion for new players who don’t want to take forever looking up a stat on a convoluted sheet and mathrocking.

The nice thing about this is you don't get meta knowledge on a fail or sucess though players do enjoy rolling and it's less work for the dm. It's why iv had to do secret rolls using my players stats before but I don't like doing kt

Gygax actually sounds like he was a bad DM, every time I hear about his home games.

@HappyCatholicDane rolling begins the counter was the style at the time for a lot of dms. He wasn't a great dm by modern standards but players also weren't playing or even wanting to play modern dnd. Gygax and a lot of his players probsbly would have hates modern dnd. The come from old war games which where very very different games

@@Zalied yes I am aware 😄.

I remember someone from lake Geneva telling me that one of the original 'house rules' that he played by, that wasn't in a rulebook, was that each time a character died you had to strip down, grab a beer and run naked around the house while hollering. Then roll a new character. It was at that point that I knew 1e was not for me.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

This die is no moh! It has ceased to beeeeee!

11. I bont know wat happs no.