@@zayventus5961 saying guys *should* pay and saying that guys *usually* pay are too different things. Guys may do it more than girls but i stand by whoever asks first pays.
I'm more traditional too. My husband goes out and work and I take care of the kids and household. He respects my opinions and let's me make my own decisions. So I feel comfortable being submissive because he doesn't take advantage of it and he is not controlling.
Seriously the question was 'I am comfortable with showing my emotions', not 'society says I should show my emotions'. My mum brought me up to always be honest about how I feel and I was always close to her. Probably because she didn't want me to turn out like my dad. So I've always shown my emotions. Many people didn't like it, I used to get bullied a lot, but fuck'em. I've always hated society anyway. Yes that alienation has reduced my empathy for societal values and killed any kind of community spirit. But that's the price you pay for being yourself these days it seems.
I feel like if u invited the person on the date ,u gotta pay. And ur date can pay the extra shit ,maybe the tip or desert too. I went on a date with a guy, he payed dinner. And then I bought the snacks and icecream when we went walking around after dinner. There are many ways one can deal with the money situation for first dates, it doesn't have to be the way I said I perfer. The woman can pay, the man can pay. Both can split the tab or tabs.but the person who payed for the first date shouldn't have to feel like they gotta pay for the second date as well. It would be nice to be reassured they aren't going to be the one throwing money Everytime. Afew times is fine to pay but if the person ends up paying for dates in a row than that's something that needs to be talked about unless the conversation was already talked about
With regards to paying on the first date, its so convenient for women to say “whoever pursued should pay.” Women almost never pursue men, its the other way around. If you say yes, then you should pay too. No one forces you to go.
@@ijustwannabehappier-v4973 tbh that's the reason why a lotta women act super uppity and bougie. By saying they are the prize, you put that pussy on the pedestal when you're just as valuable
think about it. if someone asked me on a date and expected me to pay i'd be like......"excuse me, you asked me" so if i asked someone out, i should expect them to pay. its like ordering an uber only to have the uber driver ask you to drive.
@@holysex1052 i dont think you should expect some one to pay. No. At the very most, go half, since the one who got asked also agreed to go and spend their time with that person.
@@AbsolutelyMenti I still expect that person that asked me out to pay. However if the asked to split I will but I won't be paying for the whole date. By that point it would be half and half.
toxic people exist. guys and girls. femininity and masculinity are neutral. its the person, guy or girl behind it. excluding men from joint custody or abortion decisions is an example of a toxic female. a drunk guy who beats his wife is a example of a toxic male. masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with it. if people want to include masculinity or femininity into their extreme views or generalisations, they can do that, but thats just an opinion.
the phrase is not saying that masculinity is toxic or that men are its saying that you can have masculinity that is toxic you can still hVe "normal masculinity" no one said these things.
you can add toxic in front of anything this dishwasher liquid is toxic this chair is toxic. thats not saying any object you can sit on is innately toxic lmao
@@seamsungg The problem is that this whole conversation is one sided. The only role for a man is to just sit on the sidelines and agree to everything. So when you don't include us in this social justice movement, then we only can become the villain. So to have toxic masculine without self-policing the feminine toxicity only makes it look like one side is causing all the social justice problems.
@@al_alldaychriswilliams85rf16 idk what u talkin about here. i do agree that people are now claiming feminism means no men and that men are trash and that thats wrong and theres flaws in people today who are extreme but theres extremes in every idea. i just understand what toxic masculinity and was tryna explain it simply and i believe it exists - doesn't mean the opposite doesnt exist
it does men are supposed to 'aCt lIkE mEn' and get criticized by other men that they aren't manly enough if they like certain things, show emotions etc. women are supposed 'aCt lIkE wOmEn' and get married at a certain age, have children, know how to do housework etc. this is what is being talked about and these are very gender-specific things there are toxic males and toxic females but this isn't about that, it's about acting like just because you're a certain gender you have to do certain things or be a certain way
I agree with the guys on alot. Mainly I think folks should just use the golden rule n treat people how they wanna be treated. Most people don't care unless it affects them. One of my favorite quotes is the only thing that matters is what you do for humanity or others. Men and women need to learn how to care more about what's actually important in life
@@BlackGirlLovesAnime6 ur right. Like the lesbian soccer said when asked by she kneeled at the game like black football players she said I'll never know how it feels to be black but I can empathize with them. Folks don't understand by helping others u help urself. I can chew bubble gum n walk at the same time. Like I can love n support n help the black community n help others in need at the same time. It's not either or
I think it's hard being a man. The weight that's put on us to hold down everything and be strong protect provide and fatherhood is the most overlooked unappreciated job in the world.
Like Dee said, I don't think you should have to pay for anything. How you gonna tell me to pay rude much we gotta come to an agreement. I like the split rule. Split the check but if you don't have money ill pay.
Ok but everyone kept saying "Would she still date me if I didn't pay for the second date?" NO ONE WAS TALKING ABOUT A SECOND DATE!!! They said first date, stop overthinking about the rest
I think the problem is that people think of it as an obligation not a will, like they wont pay it bcs they want to treat the other person they will pay it bcs they think its an obligation.
That's why it's important though and why the question was framed that way. If you don't pay for the first date and it becomes a problem than that's a good thing because you just weeded out a girl that in my opinion isn't worth it anyways.
women always say they would be open to guys showing emotions but study after study and poll after poll shows that actually they don't. its a sign of weakness and *most* women dont actually want an emotional man, they want a stable one.
I agree with traditional values, I agree with men being the bread winners and paying on the first date (though I would date a guy who wants to split the bill and would be fine with that but chivalry is important to me.)
Wtf why can women show emotion but men can’t that shit just leads to suicide bottling up emotions or anxiety or depression. Even if it doesn’t lead to that it can still cause a person to lash out generally at people from the emotion that they’ve been bottling up. Also if a man is feeling emotional about something that someone did to him say someone wronging him then if he feels he can’t talk to that person there will be no solution and not hating eachother again and the problem will still be there.
1) thank god I’m Muslim cuz by Islamic law the man must take care of me financially. 2) if ya ain’t muslim then who ever does the asking out (should) pay(s). End of question. (And yes ladies, that means if you’re the one asking the man out you pay).
We need to do more to help men be able to express their emotions... As long as those emotions are appropriate to a particular political narrative. Can't believe all these guys just eat that message up.
With the penis size one, I knew someone who was packing and thought that they might be small, mainly because they've only seen porn, not anyone else's, so they thought that was the norm. It's a normal thing for all sizes at some point, whether early or later.
I feel like the man should ALWAYS pay for the first date. Now if you decide to keep seeing each other and eventually become a couple then one time the girl pays then the next time the guy pays because dating can get super expensive.
Completely ignores the high obesity rate of this country and how non fat females walk around creating approach anxiety constantly here in the US unless they are a waitress looking for a tip. Little boys can you see you treating men like a phallic symbol pointed in your direction and they learn real quick how low value they are. When I went to an Asian country it was like therapy, I could talk to any girl and I was valued and there was a lot less fat ones and they valued me.
Men please listen to me. It’s never ok for the women to carry the financial load. If she offers to pay that is a gesture, she then assumes you will play your role and say “it’s ok hun, I got it” - women love to feel protected in every area, men know the rules before you get your feeling hurt later on because one day you will have a rude awaken when she throws it in your face, that she paid for the first date 😂😂😂🤦🏾♀️🙅🏽♂️😂.
Honestly I don’t understand the concept of “toxic masculinity”. What’s wrong with being an alpha male and the tradition of being a male paying for the date, competing with other males and being a protector? I mean I’m a Leo so I take pride in being a leader and alpha male but still remaining humble
lol alpha beta etc were designated to understand wolf positions in pack movements . even that was proved false. and to apply that to humans😌😌😂😂 how ridiculious
phantom diaries That’s what I’m saying. I don’t understand exactly what people mean by that term because everyone keeps saying it means something different. What exactly is it??
Crimson Ecstasy Actually Alpha and Beta is used for social animals and groups. Technically humans do travel in packs or groups. But even then obviously I’m not referring to the terms in the literal sense or scientifically. I’m simply saying ME personally I believe there’s 2 groups of people. Alphas which are the leaders. The ones who look out for those not able to look out for themselves. That lead from example and experience. And beta’s. The ones who either aren’t capable or comfortable being a leader. That prefer to help the leader in order to help the pack or group. Or lacks the experience to be the leader but still has the ability to climb the ranks and be an alpha if they choose. Idk why everyone wants to live in this imaginary bubble where everyone is equal and there’s no such thing as being better then the next. I just feel the problem is bigger than masculinity. Like any group of people you’re always gonna have the ones who give it a bad name and take advantage of their position but they do not represent all of us
@@rgonzalo511 People are told what to do everything and are okay with it. That's my whole point. In every social group whether it's school, jobs, military, gangs, sports, hell even in college sororities they actually use the terms Alpha, Beta, Omega. There's alphas in every social group. The leader. The one who everyone else follows and listens to. That's the Teacher/Student relationship. The Coach/Athlete. The Manager/Employee. The entire US military goes by ranks. These are the "Alphas". The people you show the upmost respect to because they earned it. Is it perfect? No. Like anything when egos are involved there's issues. But instead of throwing away the Alpha/Beta system that has benefited us from the beginning of time we need to simply change how people in the Alpha position carry themselves and treat those considered the "Beta". Humans are competitive for leadership. Not just men. Females can be alphas too.
