Do All Polyamorous Couples Think the Same? | Spectrum 

Ngl, this made me chuckle. To relatable.

Honestly 😪

Lol true

Omggg yesss I feel this

Fr though 😂

That would not only be traffic but also terrific

This was too funny lmao

😂😂

I love this XD

Best comment

That would be definitely interesting!

omg yess i'm down to see that

Where's CPS?

@@TheDragonForest exactly. Get CPS

@@notfunny1410 your username fits you 😍

AGREED!!! And I have two...lol

it can be the opposite of selfish! realizing that you dont have the time or resources to give them the life they would deserve.

It depends. Never? No. Individual? No. In general? yes.

Like why should we have to. There’s 7 billion other people on the earth

Sometimes it's selfish.

Jealousy is a very natural human feeling

exactly like jealousy is a human feeling. i don’t know how you can suppress that

@@laura.427 Exactly, it's actually super unhealthy to suppress it, you should discuss it, because because if you don't then you'll just bottle up until it explodeds. Some of this people are acting as if your partner should be able to do everything without boundaries.

i feel like they do get jealous because they were saying its wrong to get jealous but the question was do you get jealous

@Neo Genesis you’re absolutely right. Jealousy fuels nothing but greed and misery. Best to address jealousy rather than let it rule us so that we don’t turn into possessive monsters.

she should date the whole world at the same time, so she can unlock infinite levels of happiness watching all her partners with other people

I think its from the view that if you like that person so much you don't care what it does to you. As he/she is happy your happy. But idk i can be totally of.

@@dashofawesome64 yeah! it’s seeing your partner happy and loved that makes it worth it!

yes but honestly that’s beautiful i don’t know if i personally could do a polyamorous relationship but i would be willing to see how it goes but i would rather just be with in person

If you love somebody and you know that this third person makes him happy in a way you maybe dont even want to make him happy then youre happy because he has somebody. Its like with friends. Youre not jealous either because your best friend has another best friend. You just share different hobbies and everybody is fine because nobody has to fulfill wishes that you dont like. Also threesomes or foursomes can be nice

Can you explain ...what is a accidental pregnancy if a person is raped and they don't want to keep the baby I understand that but how can you accidentally get pregnant a penis doesn't accidentally make it's way into a vagina

@@blackbutterfly4739 Isnt this obvious? Protection does not guarantee 100% safety. Plus, things like broken condoms or outdated / failed birth control are more common then you think. There are times where people just forget about protection too.

@@unknown_bitch6734 my point exactly so you intentionally had sex but your form of protection didn't work just say that ain't no such thing as no accidental pregnancy I stand corrected

@@blackbutterfly4739 People dont just have sex to have children. Sure its main point is procreation, but people do it for pleasure and relaxation as well seeing that its not always couples doing it. Its also a job for some people.

@@unknown_bitch6734 either sex can lead to pregnancy ...so unless it's rape ...it's on purpose

The biggest cope, they all get jealous and these people literally have to neuter their natural emotions and damage their psychy to be actually "ok" with all this garbage

Yeah that was weird

That's why they said "disagree" and not "strongly disagree".

F

Then just date someone

@@Errupt wow you’re genius

@@abolfazlkheradmand6421 thank you

I mean look at them 😬 just lower your standards and you’ll be fine

Oof I already hate being the background friend with friendships so I couldn't really imagine it with relationships lol

Tbh I would rather be alone than experience that every day, feeling miserable and worthless. Thanks.

1) Find better friends if they're doing anything that makes you feel that 2) Polyamory doesn't automatically mean you must be part of a thrupple 3) Don't be poly with people who don't make you feel valued

@@theprousteffect9717 You put that WAAY more succinctly than I could have. I was fixing to write paragraphs to get those points out and you summed it all beautifully lol

When you think you dont deserve as much love as others, that you would probably enjoy being the less liked partner.

Yep. Honestly, if you've promised your partner(s) that you would stop gambling and then sneak off to a casino, isn't that cheating?

​@@maxmichalik4938 it is. Those discussions have to be discussed beforehand

Men compete with other men to date women so that would never happen. Multiple men and one women would equal a less likelihood to become a father which is also the issue.

I wonder why...

There was this one case though on True Tv I think where one girl had multiple guys (all nerds) but she got pregnant and one of the dudes killed the child out of jealousy or he was mentally unstable already.

I’m neighbors with a poly couple like this & they seem fairly average lol they have kids & are super nice

I know plenty of polyam women who have multiple male partners. When I was polyam, I did notice one potential partner was incredibly territorial and overly possessive and it was never going to work out.

Exactly! Do what you want get a career, work, be a stay at home mom, have kids or don't, the choice is yours! Those people who think women need to have kids can go float themselves.

Except that her reasons for not wanting kids are purely selfish. Which isn't a bad thing, it's just a thing that is true.

@@MrsRen Except you're completely wrong because the definition of being selfish is to be excessively concerned with oneself WITHOUT ANY REGARD FOR OTHERS, which is not what's happening here. There is absolutely nothing selfish about not wanting to have kids.

@@Ayveh PREACH, there is zero moral obligation for us as human beings to have kids. It's a personal choice, which means it isn't selfish whatsoever to choose to be childfree.

@@MrsRen The drive to have children is actually just as much ( if not more) selfish than not wanting children. Wanting to have kids comes from the biological drive to spread your genetic material so a "peice of you" lives on, so to speak and a want to have a family.

But isn't that how a polyamorous relationship starts in the beginning? At first, it was 2 people then another partner got into the picture so then the 2 partners have to come to an agreement then the cycle repeats. So I dont think a polyamorous relationship allows boundaries or rules because it prevents partners from exploring and finding more partners to fulfill their needs

@@bigananikagiso6413 boundaries and rules can be as simple as “if you develop feelings for someone, please communicate that to me before you pursue that relationship so i know what’s happening.” it can be “let me know if you have the intention of having sex with someone tonight.” it can be “keep me in the loop on all of your partners and get tested regularly with me so we can make sure we’re all being safe.” boundaries don’t have to be limits. they can be expectations for communication. my partner and i are currently monogamous with the understanding that if either of us develop feelings for someone outside of the relationship, we will communicate that and go from there. for me, if my partner develops feelings, i know i’ll be okay with that. i’m polyamorous by nature so i wouldn’t feel jealous over my partner pursuing someone else. i just want to be made aware before it happens.

@SaErth2 I'm really disappointed too. Especially with the example the korean lady said, maybe she can go in a situation like that guilt free but if she knows the person she's with is cheating on their spouse and has no issues with it... You're still cheating. It takes two.

Same, I was pretty shocked too. I mean the wording of the question itself is a bit confusing as well ("Is cheating acceptable in polyamourous relationships?" is much clearer question for me).

@@bigananikagiso6413 Not really, I think most people that go into polyamory relationship are aware of what they want even before they begin the relationship, so they will set up boundaries then and there. But also setting up boundaries and rules is totally normal after the fact (even in a mono relationship) because you might not really know that you were not ok with something until the situation presented itself. Then, you have to work with your partner(s) about how to approach that situation, and I think that can happen in any relationship.

Exactly... Nothing is perfectly balanced

We get taught jealousy, it's everywhere even in kids shows. So it's pretty unlikely that someone has completely deconstructed their jealousy

Jealousy is a normal human reaction, we dont need to learn it

@@monicacreator3168 yes but we get taught to act on it or to exaggerate it. Kids are jealous of their toys but we teach them to share

They feel jealous but they don't act jealous. I think it was unclear whether "get" implied "feel" or "act"

Lol

Maybe she’s afraid that she might be the odd one out.

I think she went there because of the principle behind jealousy not because she feels it (so like you can feel jealous but the principle of lashing out on your partner because of that jealousy) idk if I explained that well or not but yh

Yeah. She didn’t go to strongly disagree

Thats not the point. The point is she knows that it can happen but she works on it and knows that situations can be sometimes like that. But that doesnt mean their relationship is constantly like that or that she doesnt enjoy it. Its like with pizza. You may love pizza but there are times where you just doesnt want it without hating it.

Yeah just don't choose your kids over ur career of u have any

But it is selfish if you neglect your kids after having them😂. But on the other hand by complete birth control, you are helping the world by being those people who not contributing to overpopulation, which in turn is exploiting the earth's resources. So it's always better to not conceive any kids at all for the world. It ain't selfish if noone is involved. It becomes selfish as soon as you bring a tiny human in your life.

@@AnooDw It is selfish but not morally bad or anything, it's just a choice

Yeah it's just more practical than neglecting your kids for work all the time

That's how you avoid living through your children (because you've done what you've always wanted to do) And you won't resent your kids when you see them do what you've always wanted to do. It is NEVER selfish!

This!

The title said "Polyamorous Couples", I wouldn't expect too much given that one of them is literally a triad

@@TPHRyan there’s different types of poly relationships

Strongly agree

Lift this up. I wanna know more

Thank you...I was thinking the same while watching.

I think the reason people feel like they HAVE to have kids, is because when we were all children it was set as “the norm” and engraved in our minds that we are supposed to.

focusing only on yourself is the definition of being selfish.

It’s super weird, people that think like that don’t even make sense when you ask them how is it selfish? The reasons they bring up usually seem selfish on THEIR part - like you don’t want to have mini versions of you? What about your legacy? Like is this about me or the hypothetical child.

@@hentai6582 what makes you think people who don’t want children are only focusing on themselves though? 😂 they could be taking care of someone that is not their child, maybe their partner or a family member - that’s a super weird assumption imo.

yes please

This

yes please. a lot of ace communities I find show me new issues that i've faced and didn't have a name for/ didn't know about or just new perspectives i've never considered before. i'd love to see *drumroll* ace- spec or aro spec love to us all : D

Please !!!

It exists now!

I'm non-monogamous and you're 110% right. What makes it cheating is not having every party's enthusiastic consent. I'd even argue that "insisting" that your partner and you become non-monogamous is just not ok. It needs to be something that everyone wants and enjoys.

Also when you bring someone new into the picture, everyone has to be ok with you 2 being together or the new person being with the others.

@@shaereub4450 I'd say that that depends on the relationship. I don't have a say in my partner's other partners, and he doesn't have any on mine either (unless they're really awful people, that's a separate issue). But that really depends.

@@MadTahaney facts tho I'm a monogamous person you are correct. Every relationship including poly are different. Some choose and be with their partners only and some like you have a don't ask don't tell. It's all about communication and treating everyone kindly and how you want to be treated. Again like you stated don't force others into anything.

if there are secrets being kept, that's not true polyamory.

Same. Her facial expressions were telling.

Yeah, she seems a bit like an outsider here.

i think she was curious if anything but i honestly dont think polyamory is for her

Did any of you noticed how sad she looked when the guy said the other girl is his primary partner and he built his life with her? I am not polyamorous but to me it looks more like she´s not so important in the relationship and that´s what might be hurting her, that perhaps she doesn't deserve as much love as the others have for each other

Me too ... I don't think she's completely happy , plus she didn't look very happy.

But that's not polyamory. It's polygamy

Yea that would be dope to get that analysis.. even doper If they had a website and encouraged we get the back story from their site before finishing the RU-vid video

Yes! And to add to make sure they get inclusive (flf,mlm,nblf,tlm,etc) and add different racial couples, plus adding ones that have couples with totally different cultures! (I know they can’t add everything but I would like to see some inclusivity of different cultures/religion/race/sexual orientation) I feel it’s gonna be a mad good discussion, u know??!

lildevil angelme that’d be like 20+ couples, y’all are too much

@@Viviele1290 😂

I loved that too! I think after fourteen years, they really must know each other so well that they completely trust each other. It makes me so happy to see it

They were so cute. I want a relationship like them when I grow up.

I don't know anyone in a monogamous relationship who feels they have to keep it secret that they find other people attractive :D monogamy doesn't mean you're not allowed to find others attractive, it means that you choose to only have one romantic and sexual partner. Those are two different things...

I totally understand where you’re coming from and it’s not just you. They keep mentioning you know having a different partner for different things which I get to a certain level. Like I used to have certain friends I could talk about manga and kpop with because it was a shared mutual interest. However, I have a best friend who is not super big into kpop but when I was she would still let me talk about it and share it with her. So if I had a boyfriend that are not into the same things I’m into that’s fine but being allowed to talk about it is where the love comes in. Also feel like sex and the freedom to just be with other partners come into play as well.

Yo Damon I've seen you brush around poly and open relationships multiple times, will you ever talk about it in a red wine talk or vlog?

Te amo Damon

As someone in a monogamous relationship, my husband and I talk about seeing other people attractive all the time. I’m bi while he’s straight so we’ll comment on women in shows and movies or certain friends, not in a sexual way but just recognizing attractiveness in general. I’ll talk about men too and he just listens since he doesn’t feel that attraction. It’s a very normal part of our relationship because we’re very comfortable with our commitment to each other. I had considered poly before him, it was something I’d been open to for a long time, but he wanted monogamy and that was fine with me.

Same, I have 2 friends and they often together, they sometimes ignore me too.

That blows my mind lol

wow you sound so mature and not toxic at all

@@thatgaylibertarian4518 You're throwing around the toxicity and maturity card way too lightly here. More often than not jealousy is rooted in insecurity, not selfishness. We all go through life differently. We all need different things. Some of us need constant re-affirmation, some of us are perfectly secure in our own skin. Both are valid. She's saying "I want to feel prioritized". She's not saying "I'm proud of being that way" or "I think it's okay to be that way". She's just stating what he needs, in this moment in life, for whatever reason that might be. And being so un-empathetic and thinking that you have the universal truth and right to saying what is toxic or mature and what is not, is actually very toxic and immature. Att: A happily polyamorous person.

I agreee! Like the one I love is mine and im theirs, i feel like that's the explanation of love. But ig things are different today..

A lot of people don’t hence why people usually stay and do monogamous relationships.

I've heard from others that it does take more maturity and commitment from all parties to pull off.

Why do so many people point out how hard it is to manage such a relationship? Communication is key in every relationship and I guess most people who point out this thing can't even communicate openly themselves and that's why those people not just 'dont want to do it' itd about that they simply can't because of their own insecurities

@@sleepymaddy7659 I think you answered your own question. Communication can be really difficult. Even the most open couple can have communication problems in time and most everyone has their own insecurities whether they care to admit it or not.

Is it any different than having a big family? That's adding more people.

Manal was basically saying she'd rather be in an exclusive relationship but for some reason puts up with Zen's fuckgirl behavior

@ true tbh

To me it feels like they're saying their current partner isn't good enough. If my partner said that I would be hurt!

@@SlothDaan I get that. The people in this video seem not to be hurt tho so I hope you are not saying that it's therefore a bad thing

poly people can still in a monogamous and exclusive relationship. if theyre happy with one person, then maybe they just dont feel the desire to chase for other people. i think the "poly" part comes in, is if they change and their wants change, they still have the option open to look towards other people

The food web is a relationship. You get my point?

but they are all just poly people... who brought their primary partner with them lol did you wanna see single poly people

@@ChikiMombo the title says "couples" while it's not all duo's tho

Well I think they meant it as though when you refer to a relationship with two men, you would call it a gay relationship but that doesn't mean that those men are gay (they could be bisexual, pansexual etc). In the same way you could call each of these relationships polyamorous because there are more than two people consensually involved in that relationship. This is the same as when you would refer to two people dating exclusively as a monogamous relationship. The term polyamorous is being used as a descriptive word here. Sorry if this is hard to read as I'm not really good at explaining things 😅

I think this highlights a thing about polyamory that really helps make it work. Most mono couples seem to think that being in a relationship means you are no longer you, but that together you are one entity. You are now a couple, not two individuals. Polyamory seems to focus more on each person being their own individual. By realizing you are still an individual, it is much easier to stay true to yourself and grow as an individual which will make you better for your partner(s). This also seems to cut down on how much people try to be a different person and sacrifice a part of themselves in order to try to exist as that relationship.

@@roach9232 what's the difference?

@@roach9232 whats the difference

@@roach9232 so every open relationship is polyamerus but not every polyamerus relationship is a open relationship

@@roach9232 I was so confused when the vid started coz that's what I knew and I didn't expect most of the ppl here to be in open relationships but most them are.

@@eunhyefloe8055 agree! the term polyamory is so often misunderstood as "open relationship" by default and I wish they'd been more clear about how every relationship of the people in this video worked? idk but I'm still confused about how the puerto rican and korean couple were involved with that other woman ahaha she didn't say much eiter

Lmao im number 4 too

Hahaha

Triouples are 3 , the Dr.Justin the tall black dude in this video had 3 Women ( Meaning they are all 4 in a Relationship )... Quadouples actually 😅 not just 3 people in relation ships..... There's also 5 ( 1 Man and 4 Women in a relationship aswell ).

Basically anything is possible, every relationship and every person is different. But I do think the best relationship I have is me with my cat :b

I don’t understand why is there a single person in couples group thing hahha like come on jubilee

That's probably why you're monogamous. For some of us, it is possible to love multiple people equally

I'm polyam and I personally find this impossible. But to suggest it is impossible for others would be using my personal anecdotal reasoning to make a huge generalisation.

@@Marz2727 if it's impossible that also doesn't necessarily have to be a deal breaker

@@camtothemax 100% agreed

Pretty much is but Polyamorous people will never admit it. They usually will bring up the parents with multiple child argument and that you can love all your kids equally, so why can't you love all your partners equally. When even parents have favorites lol. It's just sugarcoating at the end of the day.

😂😂

Sounds like something a yter named drumsy would say

@ CTJR it’s from Pokémon-

@@ivyturner5909 it’s totally mind boggling that everybody hasn’t watched Pokémon⚫️

Team rocket, on the go! (I totally forgot what’s next-)

I have a big... BIG... BIIIIGGGGG... muscles!!! HAHAHA!!! What did you think I was going for? That's so DIRTY of you! GAGAGAGA!!! I am the funniest RU-vidr ever! Maybe that's the reason why I have TWO (!!!) HOT (!) GIRLFRIENDS. Thanks for being alive, dear sam

Come

@@AxxLAfriku why u talking like that?

@@AxxLAfriku just a reminder, help is free :)

love ur pfp

i think he was just excited to share the fact that he's going to be a dad

@@kaitlinwilson2 no doubt abt that, as he should be! it's exciting but that wasn't really the basis of my point.

Yeah im only halfway through but it feels like HE is dating 2 women and not the three of THEM dating ? Idk if it makes sense

Orange head girl spoke the most but go ahead and hate the guy

Exactly. Very patriarchal.

A group relationship? Lol

The individuals are polyamourous and there are many forms and types of polyam relationships. The word couples doesn't always work so I was a bit confused by that choice too. Saying it's a group relationship doesn't work either because not all polyam people want to be in a "throuple'. I for example would not like to do that while I would like to date multiple people at the same time separately and so does my partner

@@camtothemax so basically you gives are just fuck buddies ? Since you aren’t exclusive

@@larttiste109 well no I still have a very strong and profound bond with my partner

There is a technical term for that, which is “polycule”, but it’s not that used. Couple, while being and odd choice, is the most understandable one.

Yes. Thank you for being rational, this comment section is slowly draining my sanity, thank you. I'm gonna go die now.

I dont respect it. The kids they'll raise will be all sorts of confused 🤦🏾‍♀️

@@thenoseyskeptic You cannot assume that. They will learn everything they have to learn about their parents gradually.

@@dtulip58 Not really, is like raising a child in an extended family. I dont think it would be harder than raising adopted children. For the poly aspect they just have to explain everything gradually.

@@Zoe-xb6jd and that can also go the same way for same-sex couples, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to have kids. Children are taught, and if this is the norm for them at a young age then they won’t be confused.

@@thenoseyskeptic congratulations, you disrespect people who have literally done absolutely nothing wrong to you and are not bothering you in the slightest.

The best way to put it (at least for me) it's with friendships. You don't expect to have only one friend who you spend all your time with, and even if some people have a friend that is perfect for them and they're happy for other people it isn't.

I'm non-monogamous and I kinda half-agree with you. I think that many don't word it right, it's less about fulfilling your own needs and more about diverting who you turn to so you can get your needs fulfilled. I'll give you an example: say that I'm going through a very tough time with my career and I need a lot of reassurance/words of affirmation. Partner A may be going through some tough time and need reassurance themself, so they're not able to give me what I need right now because their focus is elsewhere. Partner B, on the other hand, is doing just fine, and so they're able to give me those words of affirmation I need, which in turn allows me to put less pressure on Partner A who's having a hard time. Similarly, Partner A might have their own other partner who's doing great and is able to support them more, which takes off the pressure from ME to support them. I completely agree that in my mind, it's dangerous to expect that some sort of relationship configuration is going to satisfy 100% of your needs. I think that it's important to accept that there will be discomfort, loneliness, etc. in your life. However, I like that I can eventually have a relationship configuration that allows me to receive the help and care that I need without overwhelming one partner. It feels good to not have that sense of guilt, or that worry, that you might be unreasonable or ask too much, and that your needs won't have as big of a negative effect on your partners.

lol let's be real, fulfilling each other's needs just means having sex. they want their cake and to eat it too. if u cant find all your needs with one person, maybe you shouldnt be in a relationship and learn to work on yourself. to me it just implies that one person isnt the one for you. but people can do what they want

@@MadTahaney What I don't understand though - if I have an issue and my partner can't help me with it i turn to a friend or to a family member instead. I never felt the need to have another romantic or sexual partner for that reason. I think that is what confuses people to be honest. The fact that no single person can always only be there for you is true, but that doesn't directly lead to a need for several romantic relationships. It just means people are better of with several people they can rely on for emotional support. (I feel I should say that I don't think polyamory - or monogamy - needs to be "justified" in any way, I think everyone should just be in the type of relationship that suits them best. So I'm not asking this to "debunk" anything or something, I just don't get the logic when people use that as an argument for polyamory.)

@@peaceblossom8 Completely agree.

Bcoz it's like what exactly are those needs?

@@RiniDiamandis sex most of the times

That's disgusting, you should not be praising that

@@IzzyChopChop how is it disgusting?

@@IzzyChopChop How is it different from being raised by a big extended family? what damage could it cause?

I think on paper it sounds nice, but in practice...I feel like raising would be difficult because three different backgrounds, families and thinking will come into play. Its already complicated when its just two parents (even if they are very understanding).

It is quite an interesting legal question - it seems to vary state by state

Also adding on to this the 1 partner that was pregnant in this video. What if the other partner wanted a child of her own as well and found out she was infertile. I kind of wonder if a situation like that could harbor animosity or jealousy?

I know polyamorous people who have children with some partner so I might be able to add a bit of perspective. For your first question, having children with a partner does add a facet to the relationship in the sense that you're not just lovers, but also co-parents. But that's one facet, and many relationships can have other facets that this co-parenting relationship doesn't have. It's like having a person with whom you're writing a book, obviously you'll have a special bond because you're working together on a very special project, and you may end up spending a lot of time together, but maybe your other partner is the one you go on trips with because they like travelling as much as you do, and you value their presence in your life just as much. Your second question is an interesting one. I often find that my own jealousy in a relationship stems from my needs not being met. So assuming for a second that I would want children and would realize that I can't have them, I might find myself jealous of my metamour (the other partner of my own partner). But that wouldn't be the metamour's fault. And it'd be unfair to expect them to "fix" my problems. I might however voice my needs to be reassured to my partner, so they can help me work out my own feelings and maybe even find a solution.

​@@MadTahaney I guess while I understand there can be other facets that other relationships can provide. I feel there is something about being a co parent that is bonding to such a degree that other facets can never compare to. Like for me I love to go out dancing (before the pandemic) with my dance partner and dance is one of the things that brings me the most joy in my world. I would be so sad without it. But as great as my bond for dance (not even my partner) is, it would just be in no way comparable to my bond for the mother of my hypothetical child if we were still in a relationship. I'm not sure if this is because of a monogamous mindset but for me personally there's this special type of bond that is not comparable. And since the child will always be there, that bond will never go away unlike other bonds. And in regards to being jealous of the metamour and whether it is her fault. Tbh I'm not sure if that's the actual concern for me. If I was her and couldn't have a child I would be more worried about my own mental health. And while a partner may say something to help sooth the reality is there may never be a solution and those feelings will never go away and cause enough friction to end being part of that relationship. I also just find it hard to even know what I would do because unless I'm in that situation I wouldn't know how I would react. So if I were seriously considering a polyamorous relationship and wanted kids in the future; for me considering a scenario like this is important.

@@activelivingchallenger4298 I definitely think that many poly people would agree with you and there are terms employed in this video, such as nesting partner, primary partner, that communicate that hierarchy of bonds. I personally don't adhere to it, but others do and it's 100% valid. Many poly people will have a nesting/primary partner but still engage in other relationships that acknowledge that kind of original couple/thruple/etc. As for the second thing, it's the same as any monogamous relationship. Some couples break up because of a partner's infertility, not because it's a bad thing but just because they can't cope with it. Poly relationships aren't inherently better than monogamous relationships, and can end because of unpredictable circumstances just the same. It's just unrealistic to suppose that poly issues are somehow bigger or less manageable than mono. There are issues that can only arise in one type of relationship, but I think that in the end they're equivalent in terms of risk/reward (beside the societal aspect, there is SO much societal privilege that comes with being married, for example, but that has nothing to do with the relationship itself and everything to do with how society rewards it).

@@MadTahaney tbh I disagree that infertility relationship issues between a monogamous couple and between a polyamorous relationship where 1 couple has a child already and is still fertile is the same. Yes monogmous couples can break up due to infertility but many still stay together because having a biological child is not a priority for them. However in a polyamorous relationship that child is a living reminder of something you can't have, experience or provide to your partner. This to me is different than a divorced couple with kids because in a polyamorous relationship the pair still have feelings for each other and are experiencing everything a coparent of a child in a relationship have. And even if they aren't living together and don't see it, you know. I guess the whole idea with polyamous relationships is 1 partner will be able to provide something another partner can not or you yourself are able to obtain something more from another partner. But for me the difference is how you view the thing you can't provide. If my partner and my dance partner were in a polyamorous relationship and my partner hated dance and knew I loved it, she would be ok with sharing me for that activity. However if my partner found out she can't have children but my dance partner could, that would be very different. And even if she may be ok with it at the present, it wouldn't mean she is ok with it years from now and seeing us being a family together or not ever being able to be a part of things we share. Like an invisible wall that wasn't there before.

They are honest about their realisation that no one person can provide everything someone else needs from a partner (in their opinion)

I don't see if there's anything wrong with that because the only person who could be hurt by that is the partner, and if the partner is fine with polyamory, who am I to judge?

For some people is that, for others is falling in love with two persons who are together, and those two persons fall in love with you too so why wouldn't the three of you be together?

Me!!!!

Oh god same. I almost didn't watch it because I lowkey get triggered and envious by polyamorous relationships.

@@Solidude4 same here😭 but I respect them tho. It's their personal choice

Deadass tho

Good one

and please cast me to be one of the people in it.. jk.. unless..👀

@@alarek5130 me too 👀

No Please, do not make an episode about mysoginistic women who are basically a leftist alternative for „I’m not like other girls” believing that just because they don’t fit into social standards for women they are not one themselves

@@czerkitka141 Gender is a social construct, genius.

*manal & yes she’s gorgeous

I ain't never seen a pretty polyamorous couple

@@juliencotton3095 lmao shade 🤭

Yaaaz

She looks like Lilly Collins

Be thankful you're normal, mate. No sane person would be able to do this.

​@@epicaunleashed8764 Many "sane" people can, and do. It is personal preference.

Ass*

@@epicaunleashed8764 So why do most normal people in monogamous relationships desire affairs?

@@ASLUHLUHCE because humans aren’t monogamous by nature. In my opinion I think poly relationships work better if Kept casual. Meaning if the other wants to sleep with someone else, have a threesome or more, or just hang out occasionally that’s fine. Living together dealing with multiple personalities and problems sounds taxing. I also think one partner will inevitably feel inadequate love especially if a monogamous couple brings in another person to that couple who’s been together a long time. Just my opinion though it’s working for them 🤷🏾‍♂️.

If they are happy thats all that matters

They already made that one tho?

You don't share your partner , they share themselves lol

You're not sharing your partner. Your partner is shar8ng themselves. Ig that's why y'all don't under stand polyamorous relationship. Monogamous people don't own their partners. Jesus.

@@AndysNuWorld I came here to say just that. :)

That's why I personally would never let a 3rd party get so involved with my main relationship that we're sharing finances, the home, a business, and definitely kids. I can understand not outright abandoning the 3rd party every chance I got, but if they weren't already a part of building my foundation at home, then they aren't gonna have top priorities in the decisions made in regards to that home imo.

That's so sad

That beautiful

that’s adorable wtfff

@@jesusa1328 sad? Lol it’s beautiful tbh

It’s a crazy ass feeling. Overwhelming. I get you. Hard to get others to understand tho lol

Including yours

@@anniem251 oof

Yeah :/

Be the interesting comment

dude 😭😭😭

Sooner or later there will always be drama.

@@Funaru the same can be said for monogamous relationships though.

More problems, but also more solutions. More needs on the table that need to be met, but more skills in the room to meet those needs. It's similar to having an extended family household with grandma, uncles, cousins, whatever. Or to having a community where you share resources like a riding mower, or a car. I have two husbands (since 2009 & 2015) and a boyfriend (since Jan 2021). I've been polyamorous since 2012. Personally, this episode disappointed me, as it really didn't showcase how virtually anything in polyamory works and why. That said, it definitely is not for everyone.

More potential problems for sure... It's relationship hard mode (especially triads). But, it can so be worth it (says the polyamorous woman with 2 long term partners and a polycule made of 7 people in total, including myself and my partners)

@@athenaamethyst8385 can you tell me what you mean by polycule? I'm recently polyamourous and I haven't learnt all the lingo yet

Same! I thought that was super cool!

I'm calling my representative to make that illegal

@@IzzyChopChop ok...?

@@IzzyChopChop good luck looser

all those half this half that can get messy. I like my house "tidy". I am a dad of 3 ( young dad) . all my kids from the same womb. i don't know people multitask with half siblings , if i had a child outside of this relationship i think i wouldn't be able to track it. i keep my house and my brood exactly where i can see everything supervise everything

Same, but I feel like in this world such thing is intangible.

Ok? Congrats?

Interesting, this statement felt really odd to me but it's just our different preferences.

Same!

It is very different for every relationship, and over all the poly community is against the "disposable" thing. But yeah, that mentality isn't new with any type of relationship, it should not be a stigma attached only to polyamory

@@fish_who_drowned3378 Thanks for this comment. I'm going to try to learn more and seriously consider it.

@@JustJRR Polyamory isn't for everyone. Frankly I think it's generally easier if everyone's gender(s) and sexuality(ies) are such that everyone is at least capable of feeling attraction for everyone. That way everyone in the group has the opportunity for a relationship with anyone in the group. Also communication and rules are essential, far more I think than in monogamous relationships. There needs to be clarity on whether the relationship is open or closed, how the overarching relationship should be structured, how new members are added and what say everyone has on that matter, how disagreements are resolved, etc. It doesn't have all the default assumptions that monogamous relationships have so it requires a lot more conscious effort in its development and in maintaining the health of the relationship as a whole. All that is to say, if you go for a poly relationship, make sure you and everyone involved know what they're getting into and are mature enough to handle it.

@@citrineconjurer thanks!

I agree everyone is important

Ask people who cheat...they're probably polyamorous and didn't know it. I think if more people who have the tendency to cheat checked out polyamory, there would probably be less of an issue with cheating, because then they could have all their needs satisfied by multiple people without relying on one person to do everything. I don't really get it, but I could see polyamory solving a lot of problems actually. Like what college guy wouldn't want like 15 girlfriends?

@@HouseMDaddict i’m not sure i really agree with that

@@HouseMDaddict I think what you said about people who cheat is probably polyamorous is just an excuse to what they did

@@mustafa.talhaaa I didn't mean ALL people who cheat are polyamorous, I'm saying they might be some people who would benefit from polyamory and cheat because they only know about monogamy. I really don't think there is ANY excuse for cheating. If you're not happy in your relationship and you're compelled to cheat, just break up with your partner and then hook up with whoever you were planning to cheat with. You can't just be like "well I'm married but I'm sort of bored so I'm going to sleep with other people". No homie, you either stay committed or you leave. Apparently in polyamorous relationships you can "cheat" as long as you communicate, so those wanting to cheat should try polyamory and not waste the time of people looking for monogamous relationships.

Siblings? Multiple children? Multiple friends? What's your definition of *love*?

i am those people

looooooll

You don't find them. They just happen :)

@@dashofawesome64 I agree with you to a degree. Relationships are natural and happen over time, and you can't force feelings. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't put yourself out there & take risks and put zero effort into finding one (if you're looking for one). Just don't make it your biggest priority to find one, live your own life, and if you are happy you probably attract others.

Mariah but would you tho ?

why does it matter if someone is gay to you? That is their decision and does not really pertain to polyam.

Why would a straight guy want to have a same sex partner that makes no sense

yes!! a lot of the time the negative stereotype of polyam is that it's two people of the same sex 'sharing' a partner because they aren't attracted to each other. imo you can't really have heterosexual polyamory, since in that case it would just be an open relationship.

@@bumblerbree what- yes, you can have heterosexual polyamory?? what??

Puerto Rico *

Ahh yes the mysterious Caribbean island of Port a Rico

port a rico

Port Ahhhh Rico get it right 👌🏾

This is some YGS level grammar

Let’s be fair, yes they would. They would still say that

I don't see why that's a bad thing? They're just offering their perspective. You're free to scroll past.

@@spacespye467 these ppl commenting can also very well just not comment if it’s something “not for them” or if they don’t understand polyamory lol. It’s like if I went to a RU-vid video about coffee making and just commented “sorry I don’t even like coffee” ..like ok? No one asked.

fr lmao they’re not forcing you to be like them just respect them

I think people don't mean it that way tho. For many people this is a new subject and unlike for example homosexuality, polyamory is something basically everyone could consider. I think it makes sense that people watch something and then consider if it's for them. Them sharing their conclusions/opinions in the comments is fine right? Tbh I don't love it when I tell people that I am polyamourous and they tell me "it's not for me" or "wow that's so impressive that you can do that" but it's never ill-intended

lol Zev just wants her cake and to eat it too. So immature. Just stay single if you can't handle being with one person.

i’m friends with them they are amazing ppl

@@MsDudette21 *he & no he very much loves manal this is a poly relationship

@@MsDudette21 you don’t know them girl why you talking

It's not wrong to not want to have kids, neither is it mandatory to have kids.

Well who's gonna pay for it? Life is about sacrifices. She sacrificed children for a life in LA.

@@sonderexpeditions Who is going to pay for her to have kids? Thats easy, herself. If it is a priority than you make it work, even if you then can't live the celebrity life in LA or go get $10 coffees from Starbucks everyday. You make it work. Which is why I said I hope she legitimately does not want kids anymore, because if prices in LA forced her to not have kids, and impact her life forever, that is very unfortunate.

@@DD-rh2sz Exactly. She prefers the city life over kids so it'd be a bigger regret to have them. She could easily move elsewhere but her heart is there. Check out facebook pages like "I wish I never had kids". Trust me, it's best that people like her who want a certain life don't have them so they don't end up regretting them to begin with.

@@sonderexpeditions True, nothing is worse than a regretted child. Other than aborting it.