If your long term goal is to work on using you sons own values and giving him choices etc I think this is good learning tool to help him tune into that. However, rewards charts don't work in the long term research shows that children loose intrinsic desire to learn. Children expect some external reward every time and when the rewards don't get bigger or better it looses its effectiveness. I highly recommend a book called Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn, It tears up everything you thought about rewards/positive reinforcement and of course traditional punishment. What I loved about it was that it the first half was all the backed up research based evidence and studies on children and teenagers and what discipline or reward system was used.
Also forgot to say that I love how your teaching your son how to follow his internal guidance system and teaching about positive or negative choices. It makes me look forward to when my son reaches this age. ❤️
I love this so much! Thank you for the information and recommendation. Looking forward to checking it out. It’s funny because almost as soon as this video went live I began to see the waning desire. Intuitively, it seems like the charts *could* be tools for understanding earning/exchanging and confidence, but I can also understand that using behavior can be a slippery slope. Thanks again for this helpful feedback 🤍🫶🏾
Hi there! I can understand your point. I don’t know that long term is always the goal. It isn’t for us. And sometimes the short-term gain is worth the experiment. I’ve found that to be the case thus far. Life and parenting is a ever-evolving experiment. If nothing else, I hope this conversation serves as inspo to be willing to *try* things, and have the creativity and willingness to adapt if it’s not “working”. 🙂
