Do I Want Kids? 

@ITS ME 🤔 ANTIFA ok trolol

I think statistics on Korea are inappropriate. Because Korea spends a lot of money on private education, I don't think it's possible to get such a result

@ITS ME 🤔 ANTIFA Bruh , for people in India it is normal to have 12 kids

You missed a very important consideration: anti-natalist positions on not having kids. See David Benatar.

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for continuing this series. All of you behind the videos make amazing content 💙

THANK 👏 YOU👏

I was also a prop

That's so true!! And no I absolutely don't want to be a parent

Not having a kid will be the best decision. More and more women don't want (or lack the quality) to be mother and /or wife. Men really don't have any clear rights when it comes to marriage or his own kids. It's a win-win situation for men. Have fun and walk away.

@@prasadyoutube7823 agree a lot of men also lack the qualities to be good fathers, providers and husbands. Imagine being pregnant and breastfeeding and have a loser man. Yikes

Kids are the new plants.

🙂

"Dog mom to one, she is my world." - Every tinder profile ever

yea you have a low-paying job. Not desirable to hypergamous women.

But actually; I won't even get a cat because I stress about paying for food and vet bills, and I don't have a conducive lifestyle for a dog even beyond vet bills and feeding. So plants it is 😅

I have known the same since I was around 14 as well. I'm 50 now. I'm glad and grateful that I didn't have children.

@@ksato7343 if you both were happy in your decisions you wouldnt be here looking at "do i want kids" videos...

@@BennyHarassi you can be curious about other people's views on a topic even if you're happy with your decision though, i don't see how they're mutually exclusive.

@@BennyHarassi not true I follow VOX and it works both ways.

@@BennyHarassi Seriously? *facepalm*

Very well said

Someone may also be “fit” to be a parent with a Happy and healthy relationship, great job, great house, supportive family, but they simply do not want to be a parent. Which is a totally valid choice to make.

And who r you to decide whether someone else should be a parent?

The decision to be a parent can be life changing. It changes your perspective. Parenthood can teach you to be a even better person , if you're open to changing that is.

@@shantavetyan4053 if you’re not mentally there, you’re an abuser etc you should NOT be having children. Every child deserves a parent but not everyone needs a child. If a garbage parent you’re kid’s should be taken away from you

LOOOOLL

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I laughed so hard😂😂😂💔

still laughing to be honest 😂😂😂😂💔

What is birth control?

Most people don't see it as a decision at all.

As a 31 year old woman deciding not to have children I really appreciate this comment. Thank you 🙏

@@katehipkins2838 just be happy with with your decision. It’s a very serious life changing decision ,most don’t even consider. What most people want discuss is it has an effect on your relationship and that will have another layer to your life you didn’t see coming. I think people in general don’t want to admit it’s not as easy or joyful as people say it is. For some people haven’t kids can contribute to a host of mental and physical problems. And when you get older there’s no promise your kids will have time or even care to be around you. I have daughters children I love dearly . But it’s not a cake walk, and I tell to think before you have children.

Yes! Some people want kids because of the lovey-dovey cuteness overload phase of kids.. not realizing these babies will grow up and be adults.

100% agree. I love my child but the emotional, physical, mental, and financial toll it takes is a lot (especially a special needs child). I find the people who say "it doesn't change your lifestyle that much" are either liars or too privileged to see the amount of sacrifice it takes to raise a child if you don't have access to certain resources

Another example of the damage normalizing and even venerating single motherhood has done to people and society.

God bless her heart

Please, put that in the context of USA where you have to choose between buying meds and paying the rent and food. Otherwise in most other countries this testimony does not make any sense.

They still have them. Normally poorer people are much more fertile than higher social classes.

Hence why they are talking about adjusting all costs including child care, education and likely more. It’s a balancing act that I’m glad not to be a chief decider of. These are tough decisions where even monetary cost is just one factor. Are they physically and mentally capable of supporting children? Is ours a society where we even want to impose such barriers? What is life, but to support each other and new life? I do understand where you are coming from though.

Some people definitely would be able to afford raising kids but not the fertility treatments.

@@barbizen @Barbara Zen Probably because those poorer people had kids in their late teens. Individuals in higher socioeconomic groups wait to have kids until after their undergraduate degree, grad school, and career have settled in. As such, that individual is usually a hair over age 30.

@@Starry_Night_Sky7455 is bcause stress and lifestyle

There aren't actually that many children in need of new homes. Many global orphans have a living parent and community that want to take care of them. Adoption agencies, both domestic and international, are full of what is effectively human trafficking.

@@callies8907 your last sentence contradicts your first.

@@callies8907 LOL wow. Never have I seen such a wild attempt to find an ethical reason to avoid adopting. But "adoption is a myth because they're all just being trafficked" is a winner for sure.

It should be part of the conversation more. Especially because it’s prohibitively expensive - more expensive than even getting pregnant through medical means.

@Myra Bae Well, that's pretty much the same with biological children. Biological children can turn out totally different from you and your partner, and obviously there are countless examples of self-destructive behavior. Personally, I know a couple who adopted a baby they found abandoned on the side of the road while the mother was pregnant with her third (and final) child. Obviously you can't have more of an unknown than that. But she in particular grew really close to the adopted child, even more so than her biological children. I know it's anecdotal but point is it's entirely possible to love an adopted child, despite the "unknowns," as much or even more so than your own biological children.

THIS LOL

@@blackticalmayhem8461 what’s so funny?

@@freckleheckler6311 yo mama

@@AJTheInvisibleGirl 😂👎👎👎👎

Same bro. At least I won’t ever regret getting my dogs .

The most important job you have as a parent is teaching your kids to become independent adults, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing.

I have an almost 7 year old and I feel exactly the same as you. Every passing year feels easy and I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel!

maybe you're better suited to be a parent than you give yourself credit for. The parents who have codependence issues with their kids always end up dysfunctional

Then why did you have the kid?

@@noammusk519 there are so many things that come into play with that. societal expectations, marriage tensions, lack of education, etc, there are so many reasons for why people have kids before they're ready for them. that doesn't automatically make them a bad parent. also, that's none of your business. your question comes off as agressive

Kids being kids, how dare they.

we were all once annoying young kids once. kids are allowed to have meltdowns. its all part of being a kid.

@@romanuslureaus2176 Hence why I don't want one.

@@user-st6ui7oy1p then dont have one then.

@@ramraghavendra7178 thats.... litterally the point but okay😑

You matter the most, you can choose for yourself, don’t let others choose for you. It’s not like they are going to bear the consequences of their choices for you.

Clock is ticking!

Jk. You still have lots of time (as long as you're a guy)

It’s alright. You still have your 30s ahead of you. And you don’t even have to marry someone if you don’t feel like it. You matter and you are doing the best you can and that’s all that matters

That's sad

Same, except in my case, it’s parents instead of friends. Your personal opinions should be respected.

I heard the same thing over many decades, but I’m 40 now and never been happier about my choice (and my partner’s) to be childfree. Wishing you ongoing courage to stay rooted in what you need. ❤️

Maybe it will happen and you will change your mind or maybe it will not. People are changing over time and even 10 years is enough to be mostly different person.

You'll change your mind when your ovaries start to dry up.

Whoever says that is not a real friend.

Just curious. How old are you now?

Same. I was 11. Now 36. Kids? Never.

@@pappythehumble1138 53, old enough to know I have no regrets, I’m a very happy aunt of 2 awesome nephews. :)

@@edengarden6811 When you know, you know. Why people are so convinced that because they had children and are happy w/their decision means that everyone else must, of course, be of the same mind is beyond me. I’m 53 and never changed my mind and am still very glad I never had kids. (Love my nephews to death though, they’re great.) 🙂

@@ZolaClyde Who will take care of you in your old age? I hope your nephews don't have to choose between you and their parents.

True words. People like to judge other. That's what happen when you live in judgmental base world. Every move count.

Exactly I’m not having children just because of societal pressure

@@alexisf22 yeah its really none of anyone's business your body, your money LOL

@@SachiraBhanu true lol . i get it ALL the Time from my so called ''friends'' When are you going to have one . it will change your life . blah..blah blah.. My response: That is what i'm afraid of.... i like MY Life, My Freedom, Time, Home lol etc...

So True i don't understand why people get mad about such a personal choice... you want kids Great Happy for you . i don't and it should be the same reaction lol

Me as well

Oof. You have a point there. I, on the other hand, don't think I'd want to even see my future neices or nephews. They'd be satan's spawn. Literally. For context, her name is Lucy.

@@notareallin620 I was the same, i hated kids, they are loud and anoying,but when my nephew borned it changed a lot of things. I helped my brother and sister in law all the time and now i kinda like to spend time with this little guy. Also you can experience all the good things about a kid and when they have a problem just give it back to the parents 😂

I think that's a similar but not necessarily related question, since adoption and artificial insemination are options and becoming increasingly (but still not sufficiently) accepted for single people. These questions are all part of breaking down amatonormativity though!

Agree! I realised with 25 that I didn't want kids. The thought of kids filled me with dread, it felt like my life as an independant person would be over for 2 decades and it was like starring into a black hole. When I realised I did not have to, my world got so much lighter and I fully started to live my life to the fullest. Of course I could change my mind later on, but for now I am 100% sure.

@@woolypuffin392 actually it's over for life look how many still depend on their parents into their 30s or 40s

💯

I thought it was just me..the older I get, the more complacent I'm becoming. I remember a Brazilian friend of mine telling me that in her town, they tried to get the women to give birth by their mid 20s because after that, they are less inclined to want to do so. At the time I didnt understand what she was talking about and now I totally get it. I'm waaay too complacent now and I totally understand where the cats come in because I just want peace!😂

Just be absolutely sure because this is a decision that you can't reverse in the future. If you really believe that you can have a fulfilled and genuinely happy life in the future where there's no child of yours to accompany or take care of you when you're alone then go right ahead.

I’m blessed with my cats and lots of nieces and nephews. I’m still undecided if I’ll try to have kids, but I can be happy being an aunt and cat mom.

Pets are companions. Children are children

@@silloweet you don't say

That's so sad hahaha poor you

@@silloweetcaring for animals activates mammalian caregiver instinct same as children do actually. This has been proven by studies.

Yes can't say enough about daycare. It's ridiculously expensive.

Also longer paid parental leave, which is subsidised by the government so businesses can afford to hire a temporary replacement without losing money if they have to, I think parents should be able to have at least a year of paid parental leave if they choose to take it, there's so much evidence that it improves the health and well-being of both parents and baby and has better developmental outcomes for the baby too, it's so important

And where would you suggest the funding to cover all that comes from exactly?

@@benjaminollis7621 probably tax. If we keep going this way than birth rate is going to drop for sure. If we wanna sustain birth rate then gotta give more credit for child care or incentive / deregulation for opening new child cares. There isn't enough competition out there reducing child care cost.

Not only what you said, but our cities should be rebuilt to be kids friendly. Restaurants, museums, public restrooms, sidewalks, changing rooms, elevators, waiting rooms and more and more and more

giving birth to a child, depending on which country you're in, is already lengthy and expensive, and yeah your body can be permanently scarred.

Adoption may sound like it’s expensive I think it’s like around $20k in Canada. Not sure how much it is in States. If you adopt 4 or 7 year child though imagine how much you would have to sacrifice besides your career for birth of a child taking time off for breastfeeding, it’s much more than 20 K by the time the child turns 7. So adoption is an excellent alternative.

@@vkrgfan IF you have $ and a husband.

@@kathyclark8274 or a wife Seriously dho if its adopted either parent could take care of it instead of just one

Exactly, yet so many people have them because they think it's expected of them.

Ever since I was very young, I was always so baffled when adults told me they wanted children. As a child myself I knew exactly what they were like. I'm the eldest of two, and eldest siblings are basically just a second or third parent with no patience. I believe that people should have to take tests before they should be allowed to have children, and from my experience and yours I feel, I think we'd happily fail that test.

That is a responsible and the right way to think, you don’t bring children to this world just because . They all deserve a good quality of life .

LI agree. If I were to have kids it would have to be planned out. I would have to make sure I have a good home in a good area first. I wouldn’t want my kids growing up poor in a bad neighborhood. I don’t wanna have a Surprise kid. I’m responsible. I don’t sleep around and I use protection. With that said I don’t ever want kids. I’m 26 now. When I was 20 I wasn’t as smart and didn’t always use protection and my ex girlfriend got pregnant. Sadly she had a miscarrage. But I was scared cause I wasn’t ready to have a kid. I wouldn’t have aborted it tho.

@@grogu411 I am sure you will be happy to receive your babies when you find the right person , a lady with who you can build a lovely and stable home for your children . Be wise and you will be blessed .

@@AB-cz4ei or not? Not everybody needs to or even should have children. This isn't the 1950's Karen

@@AB-cz4ei He's currently blessed with not having kids thanks to protection.

Isnt it normal thinking? Most people live difficult life themselves, having kid only makes everything worse

What society? 1950’s society? If anything , THIS society TODAY is confirming their selfish, lack of family values. And what’s exactly wrong with old school values of marriage and family? What is it that you don’t like about a society where people feel a pressure to get married and have children? The reverse certainly hasn’t produced good results.

@@iluomobravo Not having a kid isn't selfish. Selfish would be to have a kid because you think it can fix your marriage or because you feel lonely. Children should be born into a family that wants them and will truly love them. We have enough abusive parents as is.

@@iluomobravo Most parents I know had kids because of selfish reasons and most non-parents I know don't have kids because of non-selfish reasons (i.g. saving the climate or saving the potential kid from a bad youth).

Thank you, I really appreciate that. :)

I'll never understand why random people have the right to get angry at someone else's personal decisions that do not even remotely concern them. 😒 Your choice was the right one for you and good that you have such great support system around you.

Just tell them you can’t have kids for medical reasons. You won’t get hate then

@@bettywhite2694 True, but we shouldn't have to do that.

@@Ambers3rdFupaRoll it’s very simple. You either care or don’t care. If you care then that means you care what people think and want to build sustainable relationships with people through compromise. And if you don’t care then why even respond

Rachel, you made the decision that you felt was right for you. If some unstable person is angry about your decision then that's their problem. It's the 21st century and some people have not caught on yet.

I couldn't have written it better.

But shouldn’t they be thankfull of it?

@@vincentmegens 😂😂😂

Not only that but that can take a number on their mental health. You say that to them you are a horrible parent and your kids are going to grow up suicidal and believing that the world would be a better place without them

chose to speak facts today i see

This^ the boomers took it all

@@seanpchristy Boomers love to cry about less people having kids, but never wonder why it is.

@@morb0yo People usually don't know how hard things really are for other people. They speak from THEIR experience, even if it was some 40 years ago. They have a hard time to realise how much things have changed since then. And it's not exclusive to the US. I'm from Brazil and couples here both have to work to pay RENT, not buy a house or anything like that. And we still get asked when we're gonna have children, why we didn't have it already, like we live in a magical place where money hangs from trees and days have 96 hours ore more, if you need it to.

That's actually make sense

@@alexdamaceno Then when you're part of the bigger group of people who are stuck in the "can't afford the kids and house lifestyle" it's all "You're lazy and it's all your fault you're not making enough money. Just do better in life."

@Jean Villaine you don’t know yourself so you don’t see your trauma ergo don’t like yourself and so you project that onto others. Sad sad individual. Hope you heal. Be well.

You taking care of your nieces who are family isnt community tho... I mean its not like the local barber is taking care of them lol 😭😭

@@tahahagar7664 no, but when I was young even the woman who delivers the bread took care of me, sooo😂😂

Isn't your country's population very small already?

@@intermilan9731 and?

@@TR-gn3ym Yall should having hundreds of kidssss!

Yeah i can imagine especially after that last segment.

The last thing anyone wants is their children suffering in a world their parents can't keep up with.

Meanwhile illegal immigrants crossing the border with two kids and one on the way with $10K in debt to a narco… 😮

And that is why the good people of this world are being outbreeded. Get over your fears.

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, get cats.

So true. There really don't seem to be any reasons to have children that aren't selfish.

exactly my thoughts

YES!!

If you find that guy make sure you appreciate him. It’s a hard bargain for men with the responsibility and means to make a family happen to give up their life quality to do that.

@@Joshcodes808 giving up life quality like what?

That’s the hardest thing to find in this generation either you find a good man and the love ends and you split and you end up alone raising kids on your own you either take the risk or you don’t to many single moms out there that never thought they would be left alone raising a child on there own.

"Be sure to add the rock climbing to the tax writeoffs" "What for?" "We'll find a reason"

Seriously, that added *nothing* whatsoever.

@@TheSergio1021 Lllloppp

Repent to Jesus Christ!! “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭19:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬ G

We also need like 200 dollars in quarters for something else as well

"Immense sorrow".....That's only because you're weak. Would you rather they be born in the 1800's or perhaps the 1500's.... my point is there has never been an easier time to be alive. You're just weak.

Make sure not to smother him. Let him be, to an extent

@@nickb1762 yes I agree. Don’t spoil or smother him too much. I’ve met kids who are an only child and they are both spoiled or smothered or at least the ones I’ve met lol.

Username checks out

@@AndyrewElliott bahahhahaha

Thank you for being so open about it too by leaving this comment. At the same time I feel a lot of parents feel the same way but instead of admitting they don’t necessarily enjoy every single aspect of being the parent, they don’t admit it but instead sugarcoat or gloss over it and encourage other people to have a child and join in as well. I am still undecided, but I want to have an honest discussion about what will be the outcome of my decision with relevant information. I don’t want the only thing I say after a child is born that it’s all happiness because I can’t give them back anyway. I want to know if the sacrifices I made and the changes to my life and my future is truly worth it, not because no parents ever wanted to say that it’s not worth it because it would make them sound terrible.

Really? I feel the opposite. I’ve had strangers tell me that me having kids is contributing to the global warming crisis. I get judged for having kids or for “just” being a stay at home mom. And rather the women who choose careers get all the celebration

@@PunsandPixels yeah so do i. ain't sure what she is talking about

Personally the women who I've seen get the most hate is stay at home mothers. They get judged so negatively. Although I guess it depends where you live.

@@morshed7352all the women I know who chose not to have kids complain at how often they get asked the question, 'when are you gonna have kids?' particularly from the relatives. do you think mothers get asked the question 'why did you have kids?' more often than women without kids get asked when they are gonna have kids? I doubt it. I live in a big city in England, not exactly a super conservative place, but there's definitely an expectation amongst many if not all people that women should have children. Most women I know in their 30s and 40s without kids say they feel judged for it.

@@morshed7352 well, there are different groups of people in the world. People who are judgmental about woman wanting kids and people who are judgmental about not wanting kids.

was looking for a comment like this! i feel a little frustrated that this video didn't really talk about options other than birthing children and not parenting at all

This video should have talked about this. Ive always wanted to adopt for so many reasons, my health, helping those kids, financial stability before kids, giving a change to older kids to be adopted.

That is a problem in the first place.

what does Kindergeld mean?

@@saranshkaushik8259 child money

@@saranshkaushik8259 Merger of Kind (child) and Geld (money)

Literally translated: children money

Kindergeld = Childrenmoney = Monthly money for each children from our government 🇩🇪👍🏻😃

God poor countries sure like to breed

i don’t see what’s wrong with that? that’s how it’s been done since forever

that sounds like an awful burden to put on your kids shoulders

I agree! You get shamed a lot if you choose to be childfree. "You're selfish and you're only thinking about yourself. I want to be a grandparent!" Like they would even demand you to make a baby without actually looking at the costs and poverty.

@@andreakoeries7230 you're literally creating a person just to be your servant. That's what's wrong with it.

YUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! pointless to me

Enjoy that Frank!

That only applies to men.

@@wuzomed yeah

@@wuzomed How? I'm a woman and I feel that way

@@chocolatecharley99 because Seth Rogan can change his mind when his 40 or 50 a woman can't

Toxic childhood means you're kids will likely have toxic grandparents too.

@@zuzanazuscinova5209 Not when you break contact with them

And todays world does not allow for any sort of healing from childhood traumas.

@@josicat4789 not just today, the world has never allowed any healing from childhood traumas. It remains to be seen how the future world will deal with this

I see your point of view, I myself see it more as a "I want to become the mother (and father) I didn't have"

That’s a long comment I won’t read it

Well said. My issue is the life I have experienced without kids is a very good life. So now it’s either risk it all by having kids or continue as I have been for a much more certain future. It’s not that I wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice my happiness for a greater purpose, but that purpose would have to be something I greatly desire.

Not necessary

Step kids 🤯

I can somewhat get a feel for it from all of my friends with children. None of them seem to be enjoying it. Many are miserable. What’s objective about it is that every child costs about the same as another house.

Talk to my uncle then, he lost all of his kids to cancer before any of them turned 16...so ya, you can have kids and then later lose them and then not have any kids anymore...

Are they

No. The fact we can choose enables us to consider being a parent and being a good parent. Also, bad or careless parents don't think about it, only potentially good parents do. So really, less pressure to have them + more financial pressure when having them = same qty of bad parents and less good ones

I never had kids and have saved a LOT of money. I can nap when I want, eat when I want, sleep in in the morning when I want, go one vacation where and when I want. I never understood why anyone would mess their lives up by breeding.

@@randymillhouse791 it's simple, either you feel the need or you don't. It's not about logical reasons or pro and cons, it's really about feeling it, same as being in a relationship

@@hdebbache2000 Oh it's logical alright. People who have kids are not logical at all.

I have a son who’s 6. This is such a major lie. Kids do not cost much money. Yes having 6 of them would add up. But 1-2 kids you won’t see a dent.

@@vincelombardi2669 kids do not cost much money?? Did you watch the video?

@@vincelombardi2669 What rock are you living under?

@@materializze I actually live in the real world. I’m a single father my self. I employee over 35 people and this is a non issue. Woman stay home for a reason and it should be that was until 6-10 years old. And I also live in the highest cost state California. My son cost me at best $200 a month. I spent way more in him for sports etc because I choose too. It is and will always be better to have one parent stay home.

So you're son costs 200 dollars plus your spouse's entire monthly income 😂 not a dent indeed

You also have the final say and authority on whether a child is born or not

@Laura Kay no it not a problem, it supposed to be that way. more authority = more responsibility. its womens job to raise children. dont blame me i didnt make it this way. it has nothing to do with the casual nature of fathers. stop being disingenuous. that is like saying the casual nature of mothers has caused fathers to build the entire world that we live in from the ground up so that we dont starve or freeze to death. and on top of that the stigma that she is referring to is mainly from other women, not men.

@Laura Kay *The stigma is from everyone.* but mainly from other women *They just carry the cud and can chose if they want to, that's definitely not authority just autonomy over body* So authority whether a child is born or not. I don't why you are trying to play word games with this fact. If a man gets a women pregnant, the man has no legal or social reproductive rights over that child. If he wants wants to keep the child, and the woman does not, she has full legal authority to terminate the pregnancy. If he does not want to keep the child, and she does, she has full legal authority to make a man a father against his will. *The fathers should be just as responsible* No, not for the rearing of children especially when they are young. A mothers presence is way more important during the formative years. Additionally, women don't want to contribute to a significant portion of the bills and expenses once children are born, so men end up taking more of this load outside of the home. Both of them need to be 'present' but not in the exact same proportions.

based on this video we also take on a financial risk. But one thing no one has mentioned is the mental risk of raising a child...

@@InTshepyWeTrust isn’t this what you want? The right to choose and to bear the risks and consequences of those choices?

Not unpopular. If you're not 100% yes, then you're 100% no.

I agree but we need to tell that states like Texas

@@tessamarie8698 there's no telling them anything 😵‍💫

exact why I don't want one. I've never really even liked children that much (horrible to say I know, sorry) and am terrible at interacting with them so I'm not really even sure why I clicked on this. and I don't want kids to have a parent that doesn't want them in the first place because that just leads down a road that's no good for either parties

In that case there won't be any children 😂. It's much better if they teach parenting at a certain age so that abusive parenting will reduce considerably.

What? So people cant find happiness with their own children now?

You don't find happiness by having children you find fulfillment.

No man is an island my friend

@@subtlemonk i think what op is tryna say it that if your sole purpose or reason for having children is finding happiness within yourself, then it might not be the best thing, since there is also no guarantee for it.

As a general statement like this, it's simply not true. I know it, because i lived through it. There was a time in my life, where i was generally sad and depressed, but whenever i was with my daughter, i felt happy. Children can give you happiness, purpose and a better outlook on life, even if you feel unwell otherwise/without them. And i am certain i am not the only one who experienced this.

May I ask why not? Are you or were you ever married?

@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 why don’t I regret not having kids? Because I see how much frustration and sleeplessness and aggravation and exhaustion and expense and disappointment they cause for their parents. Then they grow up and often don’t turn into the kind of people their parents wanted (i certainly didn’t become the person my parents wanted). I understand there are benefits, too, but they don’t look worth it to me. I see a lot of women wondering where their lives went and if there’s still time for them to get what they want out of life. So many sad stories. There are many happy stories, too, but overall parenthood doesn’t appeal to me. Why do people want children? (And yes, I’ve been married.)

I'm 44 and pretty much knew already as a kid that I don't want children. There's just no appeal for me. No specific reason, more like my brain just isn't wired up that way. I've been happily married for almost 20 years with a man who is also childfree by choice.

@@reginarodriguez-martin4928 No, I would never ask something so obnoxious. I only wanted to know why you never wanted kids-which you answered. I apologize for the confusion.

@@reginarodriguez-martin4928 u echoed my sentiments 💯

Very relevant points!

Good point

Ive read somewhere that people Who have kids score low on happiness but high on meaning... there was a very viral think piece about it a few years ago. I read it before children and now I have a toddler and I think it tracks. I am not happier than before, but taking being in charge of another life seriously kind of makes you feel a more elevated and selfless perspective (even if caring for your kid is not truly selfless because... well, its yours). They shoud ask the same question to childless people with and without pets, maybe there is something similar there.

This is a really good point.

Nah

Don’t publicly share private things about yourself and you won’t have judgement.

unfortunately, it is not that unlikely as you think. I have the same thoughts and worries all my life. two years ago, my sister gave birth to the child with disabilities. this is my nightmare that happened to her. i wish everyone health. however, i could not help but notice how many "special" kids have been born for the last decade

I agree with everything that you said. That one of the main reasons that a don’t want a kid because I know that I’m not willing to “gave up of my life” because of a kid, and this is just my opinion and some many people criticizes me a lot! I’m finishing Med school and I know that, normally, it’s already hard to doctors raise their kids properly, and if the kid have specials needs I would have to almost gave up my job to take care of her and, for me, it’s something that it’s even hard to think for me.

@@olesiakuzmyk2424 I’ve noticed that too. I saw some specialists saying that’s because of the food that we eat (that it’s becoming more and more transgenic), women are getting pregnant older (that’s makes our reproductive cell more susceptible to external damages) and others. And as we know, unfortunately, it’s ALWAYS the woman that have to care/gave up 100% of their life’s to take care of this child and as a woman, I don’t want this for my future, so I think, for me, it’s better not have kids

I have a child with a rare genetic syndrome. It's way harder than the idealized situation I had imagined (and I had expected it to be hard). I still think it was worth it. But I always knew I wanted kids. Also, I live in a country with socialized medicine and which does a lot to lower the cost of being a parent, so I pay very little extra as a result of my child being disabled.

I'd throw it away

That's awesome to hear.

@@paulelago9453 thank you, she is an awesome person.

Your mother sure is a fighter. Send my love and regards to her.

Your mom must be a strong person. Glad to hear your story!

@@dontbother2071 she is, thank you for you kind words

You couldn’t have said it better.

You've gotta be kidding

These puns. Gosh.

Hope everything works out soon 🥺💖 sending lots of love to you

I’m so sorry. That is such a hard place to be in life.

I'm in the same boat as an older Millennial. The idea that having kids is a choice we get to make is kind of laughable. If we want to be a good parent, we can't have kids if we aren't financially stable (let alone emotionally stable!). And nobody covered that in this video at all.

Precarity is all our generation knows

@@chishionotenshi You nailed it !

same bruh

There is a biological urge to reproduce. If you dont have this desire, you may not have kids, and therefore you never pass this trait on, so mostly those that like having kids continue to exist, and these are the people you are talking to

I do want kids, so I'll do my best to explain why. I think a huge factor is that I have great parents myself, and was lucky enough to have a good childhood. So, I think I'm prepared to raise kids well. I live in a very safe, livable country (New Zealand) and even if I have children in another country, they will always have New Zealand Citizenship as a safety net to use at any point in their lives. We live in tumultuous times, so that's an important comfort for me. I have already been accepted to college/university for both engineering and medicine so my future job/income prospects are good. All of these are reasons why having children is an accessible option for me. As for why I WANT kids, it's harder to explain, but I've always just really loved 'em. I love taking care of them, and I think being a mother would be really fulfilling. It's hard for me to imagine my life without starting my own family. Also, the thought of giving my parents grandchildren gives me the warm-and-fuzzies like you wouldn't believe. For me, the whole idea of having a child with someone I love is just so wonderful. I've also always been fascinated by pregnancy/childbirth, so it's not something I dread. All that being said, I totally understand your decision. I don't think it's strange at all. My best friend and I have very similar personalities and upbringings, yet, I want kids and she doesn't. Goes to show that it's different for everyone. It's an absolutely massive decision that affects every part of your life. Besides, there are other ways to help raise children. Being an aunt/uncle or godparent sounds like the best of both worlds, honestly. I grew up with a few "honorary" aunts and uncles that were really just my parents' close friends, and my brother and I loved them to bits! Maybe that's your path, and if so I'd be so happy for you. :)

@@maryv5815 Are you sure you have truly thought this over and are not tricking yourself into a fantasy? I've honestly seen so many people say exactly this and then once they become a parent, while they love their kids, they hate being a parent. They didn't think it would be that hard, or they had no idea birth would mess them up that badly permanently. Or they really thought their partner would share equal work. Or how they never thought they would become a single parent tied to their ex and whoever their ex dates. Then dealing with the ex's new gf/bf dealing with your children often. There are many factors that I think many people don't often talk about. Have you seen all the risks with birth? For me thats enough not to want any. I also don't want to give up my freedom, sleep, travel, video games, etc. Make sure you go over the negatives and not just the positives before you make a decision. Don't ever rely on other parents telling you how happy they are and that you should join them in parenthood. Most of them will never admit that they are not happy.

Most people that I have spoken with that had children said that if they had it to do all over again they would have not had children.

but that means you wouldn't have a baby to utilize as a way to make your statements known

Yea we’ll look up videos of babies first steps or first words see how conflicted you will be at the end

Walking thru the toy section of amy department store does it for me - no thanks! I'll be in a jail cell for losing my patience in public behind a screaming toddler who's having a meltdown.

so mature to hook your decision up about maternity to videos of yelling babies (which, btw, are products of stress-free upbringing, promoted in modern society) yeah, i guess it's better you do not have kids

Hahahaha great idea 😂😂😂

Me too. Leaning towards child free, but I wonder what it would be like to be a mom. I think my anxiety is too bad already and I’d always be worrying about my child. If I had a good supportive husband that’d help but I’m currently single. And times running out for me to decide.

I feel exactly the same. I'm 25 so I still have time to decide, but it's giving me an anxiety attack everytime I seriously think about this topic

Go play minecraft

If I am the baby, will I want myself as the parent? - wow thats very deep, thank you. I think I wouldn't want myself as a parent. I am too serious, anxious and perfectionist.

@@luckydevil1601 perhaps having all those qualities not necessary a bad thing. We never know what kind of parent will we be until we have one of our own. Love can do wonders. Best of luck !

It's not ok to not want children ultimately and generally, but it is ok only in rare circumstances.

@@tayzk5929 Hear hear, what kind of society would encourage its own death? It's suicidal to promote the idea that not having kids is a valid choice. Doesn't mean it can't be tolerated but it just cannot be promoted either. The issue is nobody things on the level of society, everyone is a raging individualist. It's like all the cells in you body just decided they were going to do their own thing. Then you start decomposing and asking yourself why?

No it's not ok, it's weird frankly

@@JohnDoe-jf3uh In a country where you are free to do as you please....it is not weird at all..

@@sonofphilip8229 there will always be people who want children (and even multiple children). Society isn't going to collapse because some choose to not have kids. Also males don't need to experience the process of giving birth. That's probably why they have a more difficult time understanding why some women don't want children

See a therapist.

I’m not trying to be rude, just speaking from experience. Traumatic events can cause us to become emotionally distant or numb. It permeates every level of your life. It makes it harder to have relationships. Personal, professional and intimate. Relationships are important in life, we all need to lean on others at some point and if you’re constantly the rock that people lean because you don’t go to others because you’re emotional unavailable it’s going to take a toll on you. Get the help for you. Not for potential future kids.

@@KevinHenderson100293 Thank you for the advice, I appreciate the worry.

Not that this would be your case, but many find their capacity for emotional support and love growing as they assume more responsibility from having children. Not for all, but I would guess your heart would know if this would be your case.

Get a pet and see if that changes

Hmmmmm. But, are you really happy inside at the end of the day? Knowing all those other moms who have kids, have successfully advanced their genetics and lineage into the future, while you.....barren and dead.

I applaud the fact that you have based your decision to not have kids thus far, in part based on the quality of life you could provide your possible offspring. It shows you are considerate even to those who haven't been born yet. I too believe it would be unfair to base the decision to bring a child into the world on peer or cultural pressures.

@@intermilan9731 Ah yes, the grand old "I need to continue my lineage and bloodline" Excuse for having babies. What an extremely selfish answer and justification to have biological children. Less we forget about if the parents are mentally, financially, and fully well prepared to handle a person's life for 20+ Years. Can't even imagine the abuse or neglect the children suffer, when the parents only want children for the sake of their 'bloodline', yet are complete lunatics that can't take care of their drunk self. Not only that, barren? Ever heard of platonic relationships like friends or romantic relationships? Truth be told, there are so many ways, one can communicate, and stay in touch with anyone, and they aren't just limited to your own children. The relationships you developed and created with your own children, is no different to the relationships you create with other people that aren't biologically related to you.

@@Tenatic-X Is That what happened to you? Drunk parents? I am sorry, Karen. No wonder you feel so defeated and lost.

@@intermilan9731 That was an example. I'm sorry that you don't understand about alcohol abuse and addiction, and how bad does it not only go for the parent, but the children that they take care of too.

I agree. The only difference is my mother is cool with me not having kids. It’s mostly other surroundings like friends and extended family that tell me I’ll change my mind.

My mom has been saying that for 30 years. My dad also told me that when I got older I'd become more republican. A lot of older people are just completely out of touch, and my husband and I still don't want kids.

Always felt that way, now much older, still not the slightest inkling. It's so creepy to say that to someone! You'll do what you decide to do, but if you are not at all interested now it's fair to say the chances you will become interested are extremely low.

My mom still says that and I am 32.

@@Andy-ct8be "I'd become more republican" a.k.a "you'll become more bittered, stuck in your ways, and unhearing of others"? feels like your dad got some issues of his own to deal with ngl

Nature is sexist I guess

In America ( a western country and a very relatively wealthy country) in 2022, we are living in the absolute most economically luxurious and convenient time and place in human history. People worked hard to provide for their kids and family decades and centuries ago, when there was little technology, resources and medicine. Yet we are sitting over here on our glowing virtual screens connected to electricity saying "do we have the resources to have kids" cop-out.

@@AC-mp7cx I agree with both what they said and what you said.

@@deistormmods Thank you. If now is not the best time to have kids, then there was never a better time.

okay so when are you running?

@@AC-mp7cx I know you're not talking about the America that has the highest infant/mother mortality rate, highest poverty rate, and lowest educated population rate among 1st world countries? For whom is this the best time to have children?

If you met someone you loved you would change this tune pretty quick. You’d be an absolute fool to pass that up for a life alone, which is what will happen.

@@ragebait988 you could still be with them and not get married tho :/

@@spxrklingoxt I was saying that if he met a woman he loved and she wanted kids I’m sure he would, and would be silly not to.

@@ragebait988 That’s something to disclose early on - that he doesn’t want kids or marriage. If that’s a dealbreaker for the lady, she should say so and pull away before “ falling in love.”

What horrible advice to say that if ur on the fence u shouldn’t have children. Yes there is free will and nobody should be forced to have a baby, but then there’s abandoning ur future and society completely.

plenty of children in foster care who could use someone. it’s not a permanent thing either, you could take one in for awhile and see how you like it.

@@spacecowboi5466 They are not objects that you can return if you are not satisfied with. The trauma that the child is going to create by being "returned", feeling loved by a short period of time, and then thrown again to suffer. This proves once again that we are deeply ignorant (me included) on the implications of having a child, or another life on our hands. Physically and mentally they depend on us, that is a huge responsibility.

@@fernandadeleon7319 abort em all

Does dr glass have kids?

@@seb6226 I want to say yes, but I can’t say for sure. But in the video, I’m pretty sure she said she does.

@@unnienoona9888 I bet she doesn’t..

@@ragebait988 she does

Yup, we should promote responsible parenthood.

As someone who suffers with depression, I am extremely scared how a pregnancy would affect me. I already have massive mood swings when I am PMSing or on BC. I was also abused as a kid, one thing I vividly remember is my abuser playing with me like we were having a baby. So having a baby really scares me bcuz of that. I didn’t want kids until I met my now bf. He really wants kids, so that makes me want kids too. I asked if he’s willing to adopt, if I can’t go through with having a kid, or do a surrogate, he said yes. I sometimes hope I am an infertile to not have through go pregnancy. But I still have a couple of years until I have to make a decision on how I want to have kids.

Yesss, this is exactly what I was thinking. The video didn't talk about this at all unfortunately.

@Blowing winds 🍃 its not special. It's a "crime" per Indian standards and I'm happy being branded a criminal. But if men like Ratan Tata and APJ Abdul Kalam could live a happy 'single' life, so can anyone including me. I don't mind hearing the dogs bark 😀

Pretty selfish on their part. My ladys mother is still harassing us for a second grand child 🙄

@@Ammut6 what legacy? you will have no legacy. why are they even bringing it up?

@@therealbs2000 thats them expressing their ego.

@Myra Bae koreans...what are you gonna do

“ no one will take care of you when you get old” …… sounds familiar anyone?

They didn't? I don't want to watch the reat

THIS

kind of disappointed this wasn't touched on at all.

Especially for women who are POC

I think that would be a separate video. Often when a delicate topic takes too many turns, it loses its impact. Also, part of the forced sterilization comes from the angle discussed in the video about legislation and others deciding what happens. Stigma not to have a child is societal indeed, just varies around the world in how it's applied