I love that his videos have no foul language. I can listen to TG express himself with my 6 year old daughter in the car. I respect that so much. He represents himself on a more refined mature family level. He's seasoned. Great husband/ father role model. On another note, a great woman does not chase or want a playboy ever. He can take care. I'm fine.
She cheated...I've moved on...still hurts...instead of grabbing a rebound... I've focused on the things that I love...hobbies...being a parent...I still worry about her as she is the mother of our child...but at the end of the day...our daughter is GODS child...when people show you who they are...believe them...
Jewels Queen you have to make efforts too. You have to do things in the physical world to heal yourself. You can’t pray to God to remove him and then constantly check his social media and stalk him. Not saying that you do, but reframe your thinking and mind. Find out what the lesson was for you to learn in the relationship.
If he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, he will immediately move on and secure “new supply”. If he’s a narcissist, he likely had “secondary supply” that he’d been grooming all along to take your place once he discarded you or you discarded him. I know this from firsthand experience being involved with men with NPD. They have zero empathy and they do not love, which is how they are able to move on as though you never existed.
NARCISSISTS are SOULLESS... Most are very insecure...like lil' boys...they must have someone to blame for their worthlessness.. They NEVER CHANGE...they only get worse with age...but they were never any prize to begin with...to heck with gaydar...we need @hole Detectors...
It's a rebound , men jump.to another relationship to release the pain ..we women feel the loss and hurt straight away but we make a come back-- now men start to suffer harder after the fact and later they resurface .
Men definitely feel pain and grieve relationships very differently than women. It’s hard for us as women to understand since we are much more intuitive and emotional. When men are hurt sometimes it takes years for them to get over it and there’s nothing you can do as a woman to help them with that. That’s why the wrong woman can be dangerous to a man. Remember Samson from the Bible.
I’m dealing with this now. There’s this guy I really really like but he’s still hurt from his past relationship of four years 💔 I wish there was something I can do but I know only time heals wounds
All of these "options" are making grown boys feel that they can be single forever. Two of these guys i know died in their mom's house late 50s and early 60s. No legacy ...no nothing.
I love this podcast, but as a single mom of two, I really hate the narrative that a man that chooses a woman with kids over a woman without kids is a downgrade. And there's nothing wrong or out of the ordinary for a man without kids to do so. There are alot of amazing men that have stepped up to the plate. Like others have said, everything ain't about looks. The man broke it off with her to be with someone else the total opposite of her. All that glitters ain't gold, you can be a pretty package and have no substance. The whole in the wall restaurants be the best places to eat🤷🏾. And noooo, not all single moms are desperate for a man. If anything we're more selective because its not just ourselves we have to consider.
Facts indeed. I was in a whole marriage when I had my son and now i'm a single mom. Its a fine tooth comb for anyone who wants to date me. Esp if you're a mom that is setting a certain standard for yourself and kid/kids.
I'm mad at the fact she said he downgraded. The other lady is ugly. Women need to get out of that mindset. Just because she's "ugly" to you don't mean she's ugly to him. Just because you put yourself on a pedestal don't mean he looked at you that way. That's not cool at all. And how she know those are not his kids? 🤔 love yourself enough to take that L and stop talking down on the next woman. Ijs.
Not attractive to her unfortunately does not mean that woman isn't attractive to him. Also, maybe it wasn't the woman's looks alone, but her attitude and how she carries herself. Maybe she made him work for it because she has a lot more to lose already having 2 kids so she trying to be more careful.. maybe that's what hooked him.
Daughter oftheKing I always laugh when women say that she’s not attractive😂 like girl men may look with their eyes, but they stay with who has their heart and she clearly didn’t have it 😔
Yea, I lost the sympathy for her.the minute she started talking disparagingly about thw new woman. Truth is he.likely left to be with the other woman .
When a man is with a woman or vice versa and either can't uphold the standards it's easy just to get out and find someone else that doesn't hold or have the same standards it's simple and then you try to figure out why this person isn't this or that you were just a challenge and work for that person and the next is not period don't take it personal 💯
Tony, I just want to mention that I know you said in one of your other podcasts that it can be uncomfortable for you to “give up the game” that men play. But I want to encourage you and say that you doing God’s will by doing just that - is helping more women than you know. Literally the difference between life and death in people’s destinies through God using you. We appreciate you for doing it anyway and Glory be to God!
Your podcast is 2 years old but the message, encouragement, and healing are just as effective today (2021) as then. Thank you Tony, I'm learning so much I didn't know existed about a man's wiles to ensnare a woman who's unsuspecting.
God bless that sister, stand strong! I know it is difficult, been dealing with a similar situation. Tony thank you so much for being willing to drop truth,knowledge and keeping it all the way real. Women need this, I needed this. Thank you and God bless you.
These dudes try to play darker women too, thinking that we will stay loyal from having lower self-esteem, until a mixed woman gives him her attention. He will see the mixed woman as an upgrade, after using the dark woman as a placeholder! I've seen it happen...
I clicked on this because it was in my recommends but I love your honesty on how men are wired versus women. A lot of people don’t understand this. This why it’s very important that we know our gender roles. Granted everyone is different but just knowing the difference between the sexes can make life so much more simple and less complicated.
I had a feeling he was trying to see what else was available; then when it didn't work, right back to me with : HELLO SWEETY❤. I Put up with this for 2 yrs. Disappearing and reappearing. The last time he did it I didn't respond but hurt as ever when I figured out his game. The time I wasted. The promises I waited. Such a great disappointment
Mama Fylees good for you for not responding. It hurts but love yourself and protect your heart. The coming and going indicates he doesn’t value you or respect you
Tony Gaskins, I would look closer at what place this woman is speaking from. The FIRST reason she said his new girlfriend was a downgrade is that she has 2 kids. Having children doesn't make a person a downgrade. She also said that she is established. I have seen countless times where women believe that having a successful career makes up for their horrible mindset. A woman can have her "life together" and be MISERABLE. Also, woman can have children and find the love of her life. It's ALL about her attitude. Maybe that man was tired of her garbage attitude, because it seems she is proud. A good man is NOT letting go of a good woman. And too many "successful" women think it's only the outside they need to work on. Well, that attracts the man, but the inside determines whether he stays or goes. I would tell her that.
@@iamwill2283 She needs to put a period and move on. When she learn to love herself, she won't want him anymore. God can take the pain away and give her a man who will keep her smiling and truly love her.
They want to be friends so they have you waiting as an option if it doesn't work out with the new one. It has nothing to do with them loving you. It's called GAME.
I would tell him that all the time, that he wasn't my husband. Unfortunately, even in marriage, we're never safe. Tony, did you say because he really likes men? Oh my. Very deep message. Thank you!!!
Hi Tony. I'm new to your channel. First, I'm so grateful to God for giving you His message! Your videos are helping me to understand what I've been through and they are also confirmation from God. I'm in the process of healing from a toxic relationship that ended about two years ago. I've come a long way & your videos are the next chapter in my beautiful journey of growth, self love, abstinence and most of all, my relationship with God. Please keep them coming. Thank you.
Nia T ... I disagree. You would think they would do that but the vast majority do not. Many men say that they are the easiest to get because their desperate. Men make videos about this all the time. You would think they would be more selective but when you constantly read about the countless children and mothers dying at the hands of a man she only recently started dating and introduced the kids to you would know differently.
I just ended it over a phone call with a man I’ve grown closer and closer to over the last couple years. He has a set of nine year old twins and he’s 20 years older than me. That was incredibly difficult because I truly love and respect him. Over time, we’ve shared our inner worlds. I know how much he cares about me and I care about him. Having that difficult talk and ending things was surprisingly hard for me. I try to be strong all the time and non-emotional. I feel incredibly grateful for the lessons I learned by being with him tho. He challenged me in a way that no one else has but that I needed and brought me to my roots. I don’t know how to navigate from here though in regards to how I treat him. I want to be a wife and a mother, that’s my goal and priority. How would you suggest I handle my urges to text him or message him when I want to share something that reminds me of him or just missing our companionship?
Replay TGs videos amid the urges. Take a pen and paper, then write down all the cons that caused the break up; keep combing the list with each urge. Finally, whisper an affirmation to yourself. Come up with one that angers or inspires you, then say it when the urge to reach out arises
Bless your heart, bby girl! ....been there. I understand you perfectly. I pray that God will heal you everywhere you hurt. He will come back. Thank God, you realize your worth not to put up with someone like him who will only pull you down. God will send you the man who is like Him and will love you like Christ loves the Church not some selfish, lying jerk!
I went through a similar situation too. It’s terrible that some men do not know what they want and they play games, at the expense of our emotions. I appreciate Tony’s videos - I was guided to RU-vid, seeking some in sight on what was going on in my life. I’m grateful for the knowledge in each of Tony’s videos.
This is my exact same situation only difference is he’s 36, I broke up with him, and he knocked someone up within 30 days of us splitting. The chick already has a son so he went from a relationship where neither of us had kids to baby daddy number 2 to a stranger who looks like a knockoff version of me.
The new woman is a downgrade? Why as women we size up the other woman. It is a waste of time. At the end of the day it is about you. Look at yourself don't say I am better than her look better. I think it is such a waste of time. All we can do is be our best. If someone leaves it does hurt. I am there now but I can't concern myself with another person. Better yourself, practice self care. Some men hide how they feel out of shame. Men and women are so different. I just cringe when I hear ladies do this. Smh
@@keturah1980 I know. Just a waste of time. Why compare yourself? Stand in your own space and own it. It is only about you and how you view yourself. If we view ourselves highly, why are we insulting another. Who he chose to be with is no reflection of her. I just hear this often.
Dreams Are A Reality me as well. It’s just pride and arrogance, and at the end of the day no one wants to look at themselves as the problem. Also because women are hurt they have to make “sense” out of what happened.
I love listening to a true Christian man's opinion especially the part in the beginning about men in war and at the end of this video (all of it awesome)😃
Listening to what she says about this man, he already had that woman before he let her go. She did right by cutting her losses and moving on. Otherwise, he may have kept her as a fall back in case it didn't work with the other lady. Also, we must stop being shallow thinking the next woman is a downgrade because of looks. Just because she isn't physically beautiful to her doesn't mean she doesn't have a heart of gold. And, he may have seen so many wonderful qualities in this woman and that's what attracted him and made her beautiful to him. Having a degree, pretty face, and a nice body, and a good career doesn't make any of us a shoe in with a man. That's surface stuff. Sounds like they were great on paper together, but that's it. And, another thing we all missed. How do we know this man isn't a pedophile??? He went after a, so called, unattractive woman with kids. Think about it, if she's that unattractive she's glad to have a man. She won't make him wait until she can discern if he's what God has. She's going to move full speed ahead. He could be gaining her trust to get close to her kids. We never know. Plus, he doesn't have any kids at all. Hmmmm....she should be glad God removed him from her life.
😂😂😂 🗡 ⚔️ good talk though tony. Keep it up👏🏽 and omg this older guy I was talking too, one day a feeling or something came over me & told me he was gay, I don’t know if it’s true, but I just stop talking to him 🤷🏽♀️😂 cuz my gut is usually right
Chelle Harris I was and still be thinking that about my ex. He gets very upset, when I asked him that, he brought this back up a few days ago, saying he can't believe that I think of him, that way, he claims he asked other women, do they Think that he is gay. I just always felt that way. 😕 I'm sorry. However, I love him so much. Sometimes, I think some men, treats women, wrong, and move from one to the next, because they don't know their sexuality. Just my opinion.
latoya prince 😌 what made you think he was gay? Once I thought about the guy I was with I realize why I thought he was gay. He had a pof page, and and he was so disconnected and always wanted to do it doggy it’s just little things a list long. I could be totally wrong, but it was so strong after I left I got tested and haven’t contacted him since
Her whole story is mines 2 months after we broke up it was a female around she had a baby last year we had big wedding nice wedding but it was my biggest lesson i came into drama the whole.time i was with him i has dreams he was cheating i felt that was sign glade i got threw it thr devil play a part but god play a bigger part he told me i can go cause he can make more kids in the heat of the moment in i was mad cause he dont help with our daughter 2 years ago we are divorce by default in all that he said still shows he trying to take my baby after i took care of his 3 kids before mines a good step mother i have to attend court on my baby 5th birthday but with all i dont hate him.are dislike him i learnted hurt people try to hurt people i didnt date for a long time because of oth between me in god i waa sick but 2019 im not bitter but ill.never accept anything but pay more attention
Ok.. women with children aren't desperate for companionship. And ugly to you is beautiful to someone else.. single, "successful", and attractive.. doesn't equal to you being who he wants to be with.. women without kids aren't special.. IJS
A woman with kids doesn’t mean that they are desperate. If a woman values herself highly and a man judges her because she has kids then he is not fit to be with that woman. Just because she has kids has nothing to do with being desperate. Being desperate is to do with her own self worth, kids or not.
There's quite a few men out today who are childless...and are 35 and older..I agree many r falling into the illusion of a fast track life...but also this economy isn't friendly to starting a family...nor is American life designed for traditional relationships...it plays into the slowdown of population growth...while he statement of men are wired to have a family and a relationship, I'm starting to believe many are not believing they r wired for it...have they been able to see a successful long lasting marriage anywhere in life??? If the answer is no and haven't for a few generations then the outcome is only to be expected to be failure...
Very interesting what he says about the man with no kids or never being married at 38. I was dating a man that was 53 and he had two kids but never been married and I was dating to eventually be married again. He broke up with once before then we got back together and then he broke up with me again. I question as why he never been married and he said he just never found that one! I went through the same feelings she had and wonder what was wrong with me. I feel her pain it does hurt. But let him go and work though your feelings in private.
He may have had childhood issues or commitment issues that had nothing to do with you or any other woman some men are fearful, some men feel in adequate. Some feel that they will not live up to expectations. I know of a man who is much much older and successful who has never married. The reason, or excuse, is because of the very nasty in public divorce his parents had. He says he’s gun shy of marriage as a result. He was a known womanizer though. He had one significant other different periods in his life, but there was always a side chick. Maybe because of the many options he felt he didn’t have to marry. I personally don’t understand that type of behavior.I don’t go for that, but just giving an example of things that are not YOUR fault. It’s him
How do you get out of a unhealthy relationship when your “stuck?” In the past, my parents have always been there to tell me what to do, but this time I KNOW it’s all gonna be my choice. That’s my question for you. How do you get out of a relationship (with-out getting hurt). He got hurt by his ex cheating a lonnng, lonnng time ago. And he told me, “You better not screw me over,” a few weeks ago after an argument. But honestly, i’d rather him just get screwed over then me. This guy has a son and his ex is married for someone else (not that it’s a bad thing), but I feel he takes advantage of me. Please let me know. I don’t want anything bad to happen in the future, or to become his second baby mama or something. Also, he’s showing signs of control, he’s REALLY pushy about sex and money, I notice he’s got a temper sometimes, he’s emotionally abusive, and at the very beginning, there has been talk about rape. My friends have said, “I fee like he could rape,” and I gotta stop, before I go through all that, and even get played by him one day too. Hope you see this.
Fancy Pants - I just got mad at him last week for something. He still tries really hard to contact me, but I haven’t spoken to him. What do you think could have been the end result?
Just maybe a 40 year old with no kids is single cause he may not have found one worth being with.. These days men Especially sucessful men.. Because some women will tear down in a few years what this man spend his whole life buliding.. And in most divorces it does not go well for the man..even if he was a good father/husband/. We scream standards for women but if a man does not want to settle something is wrong with him.. And all options are not good options.. or should be considered..
Objectively, men may make better husbands by waiting to 40. Time to mature, prepare, build and find himself/want he wants. Men mature much more slowly than women. They need time to gain life experience. And yes, there may be few options this far that meet his criteria.
Some what, I always feel a little sad after I hear the truth about men. I think it's because ladies are taught to be with one man all of their natural life. When they really are not wired that way. So as ladies we just can't go into thinking that way. And the first sign that they have moved on just, cut them off because they are mentally ill and don't a heart of love. So we just have to focus on making money for ourselves.
Omg TONY MY SON TELLS ME THE EXACT SAME THING ABOUT THE WORD SWORD! I say it just like you and he corrects me every single time! Mom it’s SORD not SWORD ⚔️ I know how to spell just trying to match the correct pronunciation 😂
Come on Tony Gaskins Why are y’all so quick to down women that have kids I don’t agree on that one that We are desperate because we have Children I seen Women and Men with No kids that are Desperate.. I been Single and Abstinent for two years now and I have Values and Standards!! But Nevertheless this was a good video God Bless
Men feel that a woman with kids already has a strike against her. Men "grade" women on a whole different scale than women would smh. But there are men out there that look at other factors and would love a woman with kids and standards.
I usually agree with Tony.... this one isn’t as deep as he went. It’s simple. He was no longer in love with you. Period. All the references about our ancestors, how men would do this so he can’t feel like a woman is irrelevant. Especially if you’re black or brown because imagine a Slave owner treating a black woman he didn’t see as human as a woman at all. All them cry baby old school songs men use to sing talking about baby please don’t leave or come back home shows that men grieve love loss as much as women. That man didn’t grieve sis because he was no longer in love with her. He told her why and that’s his reason. I do agree about the part where he’s 38 with no kids and never been married. Dude should of been a millionaire or close to. However we don’t know that dude. We can’t even call him less than a man because he didn’t want her because we don’t know her either. Men are allowed to have standards and she wasn’t his. This other woman could be unattractive to her but the bomb to him. So her comment was irrelevant and a single woman with two kids does not have to lower her standards to be with a man.... like seriously? Don’t downplay the other woman to make sis feel good about not getting chosen. Move on sis. His grief has nothing to do with you. Send him a wedding gift when he marries the woman with two kids and no standards
Sophia Burt of course there will be some that do find it alarming. , but that’s not your concern. Your focus is on the Millions of man who don’t want kids as well
