Before I discovered Jordan Peterson, my life was pure hell. I didn't have the courage to say, "NO." I was everyone's doormat, therapist, and banker. I felt bad refusing a favor to anyone. I heard JBP say, "You SHOULD be a monster because without teeth, you are useless. "... (I'm paraphrasing) But that line put my life on a completely different trajectory. 5 years later, I am the strongest and happiest I've ever been. I am forever grateful for Jordan Peterson ❤🙏
"Conflict avoided is conflict delayed & magnified." I agree wholeheartedly and I too don't like engaging in confrontational conflict. Now I understand that appeasing one household individual to avoid the powder keg explosions only enhanced the thermonuclear effect.
I have a friend who keeps avoiding conflict, but his coping mechanism whenever he feels uncomfortable is sarcasm which just makes the conflict worse and then we never get to resolve the issues we have and there were 3 times I almost completely stopped being friends with him because our problems kept stacking until finally the explosion happened. These happened much earlier in our friendship. Only reason I came back and became friends with him again each time was because our other friends in the group tried to bring me back and help us resolve our issues. The issues never really got *fully* resolved since he very clearly hasn't learned from his mistakes, but the situations that bring out those mistakes happen less often now probably because us in the group are more willing to bring his attention to his actions before things get out of hand now that we've been friends for much longer.
I think in every habit Ed Mylett "compound pounding" effect is the best solution... in sport, in business, in relationships. 1. If you use compound pounding in sport, (exercissing for an hour) you will see no results in 5 days, but you will see big results in 100 days. 2. If you will say a good morning to people, you will see no effect in 5 days, but you will see a great difference in 100 days. 3. If you will practice the compassion for your partner and make some good deed, you will see no or small difference in 5 days, but you will see a great difference in 50 or 100 days, you will see how much you mean to them. Therefore you can not tell if your values are working after one week, because you see the effect after 100 or 140 days. Maybe each couple should practice this technique, If I will make something small to make my partner happy, for a little moment, they will remmber theese little moments. and good mood increases the immunity of the body by 50 percent in 4 days. So their kids will learn the same technique. They will learn that if they will read a book 10 minutes a day, it has great impact on brain. Next time it may be 20 minutes a day. But if you stop doing the habit now... after week it makes no difference after 140 days the results change for worse, you loose muscless or you loose some skill or motivation etc. Good deed may be also making a pizza or small things. People actually enjoy small things much more than big gestures. because it´s about living in the moment.
Been married 52 years learned these strategies also along the way! One thing I found is if when angry or upset with your partner if you disregard you feeling at the time then do something for that partner that is loving and that they would appreciate. It changes you inside allows you to cool down and rethink and renegotiate.
Wow this message was great timing for me. I was on the verge of betraying myself and going along with something I don't agree with even though I did clearly voice my wishes. No more wasting time on this shit anymore. God bless!
When I confront someone it bothers me afterwards....when I avoid confrontation to please it bothers me afterwards. Its the same when I make almost any decision.
[1] My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, have given your pledge for a stranger; [2] if you are snared in the utterance of your lips, caught in the words of your mouth; [3] then do this, my son, and save yourself, for you have come into your neighbor's power: go, hasten, and importune your neighbor. [4] Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber; [5] save yourself like a gazelle from the hunter, like a bird from the hand of the fowler. Prov. 6: 1-5
As a small business owner I learned to never ask an employee to do things they don't get like or even want to do.. sounds wierd but it will cost you way more If you do
When you look at your life, and you score in the 90s in Agreeableness every time you test over the years, you can't help but say "There you go. That explains a thing or two."
I love your dry humour! I feel for you though. I hope you're not taking it personally. If so, and it's messing you up: check out: the four promises. Life changing read. If you put it into action that is... ...or the Bible. But you get through 'the four promises' quicker...
A lot of the time, this comes from a good place of not wanting to potentially agitate your S/O. If the issue is trivial enough where acquiescing to their demands won't cause any long-term grief, it's understandable. But doing so by violating your core principles will likely cause more harm than good in the long run.
“I’m gonna keep reading and you comment if you want to about what this means. Dad.. ” Dr. Peterson already heard enough from that one sentence lol love having and hearing conversations where there’s already a deeper level of understanding between people. Getting straight to the point & then explore the depths of meaning
20 Years too late for me. The cliche of "if I only knew then what I know now".. I can at best hope I serve as an example of what to avoid for others. I've lost much, though it is never lost on me that plenty others have lost far, far more.
Don't agree to something you don't agree with. My agreeable score is probably in the 90s, too. I finally realized to say, "Let me think about it". But it's hard to break old habits. I still entrap myself into agreeing or even suggesting something that I don't agree with or didn't think it thru.
I attended his conference in Los Angeles yesterday and it was really good, the audience was very respectful, and the security personnel did their job on not allowing people to film or take photos during the conference, it was a well-organized event, I cannot wait to see him again next year in his 2025 tour.
I really like your family. I'm sorry for judging you I took my frustration out on the wrong person I hope you forgive me. Godbless you and your family.
Yes, thought one problem with this idea (the video title) is that one person in particular I know, invalidates all my feelings & experiences with this mindset.
While I appreciate JP's insight for the most part, I don't necessarily agree with the pure behavioral aspect of "What do you want me to say to satisfy you right now?" I don't want a robot to regurgitate words that will pacify me in the moment, despite being well-meaning it is important to find genuine connection and understanding
I want to know if Jordan Peterson is serious and heavy all the time or just when he's in the public eye. I hope he is not super serious and heavy all the time in his private life. I think he's brilliant and does so much for mankind. I would like to see him happy and relaxed more.
Conflicts are also those you have with yourself. So if you do something and don't like it (a job, relationship ..), you should figure out how to solve this with yourself (or quit the job/relationship)
Myself and my ex-wife would discuss our problems then come up with solutions that would satisfy both of us. A day later my ex-wife would ignore the solution and do what she wanted to do. It was only years after our divorce and after I’d lost everything and after I’d attempted suicide multiple times that I discovered my ex-wife suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. Our marriage never really had a chance.
Not agreeing with something you don’t agree with? When with someone you almost never agree with? Especially if you both are conflict avoidant? Not likely. Then neither gets what they want or need and it leads to a very unfulfilling and unhappy life. Then at age 50, on their birthday, the other one says ‘maybe we should divorce, I would like some happiness in my life.’ Not everything is negotiable. Sometimes you have to just call a truce or call it quits. Life is hard. Being alone is hard. Being married is hard. Pick your hard.
Inhale, exhale then learn how to say “NO”. Conflicts cannot be avoided but can be minimised. If you have a point, you don’t have to give in to others’ opinions and views because they don’t know what you’re actually going through. If they were in your shoes, then they would know why you said what you had to say and do what you have to do in order to stop the issue at hand.
All about communication. We have to learn to there be time we will agree and time to disagree. But I feel there should not be compromise to agree to. The daughter looks smart & beautiful 😉 Too bad I am I live in the USA, New Jersey
you have to mean that, and IF you had any sense you would!!!! Something thats missing a lot through relationships/ in the world in general anymore is SENSE!!
I left a comment regarding why I think your license was taken. 1. My dad made a lot of aviation case law and when he died, I spent 10 years in probate court because I believed the lawyers wouldn't file fake pleadings. 2. I was used to make malicious case law and I believed you are too. If you go for reeducation, it could set a precedent to be used against other shrinks. 3. An airline was put into my dad's name and laundered thru probate court after a book came out re: Eastern Airlines that dad was in. 4. The last thing my dad said to me was: "Follow this no matter where it leads." I had no idea what he was talking about until I followed it for 14 years. Respectfully Melanie Loomos
I would not agree with someone I disagree with. If this is a clue, and the agents are watching, I’m completely isolated and by myself . All I’m doing is watching RU-vid
This topic is interesting. Fist off, I believe that as long as you're still alive and breathing on this earth, there will always be conflict. Yet, there are some compromises and negotiations in some conflicts, but there are other times where people only want conflict and they don't wish for resolution, especially, in the toxic workplaces. Btw, why is your daughter unzipping her shirt while talking to her parents? Highly inappropriate. Haha 😂
All came from God’s Foreknowledge, beginning with Jesus (Proverbs 8:22-36): God IS eternity. Everything in this world was with God in all eternity within His foreknowledge. God brought forth Jesus first, making him God’s only begotten Son - the only one created by God’s hands *alone.* God then placed all power and spirit into the hands of Jesus, who created the heavens and the earth. Together, they made the trees, animals, etc. They made mankind in their image and likeness of Father and Son (Genesis 1:26), for all things that belong to God will be in heaven (Isaiah 11:6-9). God also created Satan, who will spend all eternity apart from God along with his servants. All things existed in the foreknowledge of God’s infinite mind and will exist forever. Amen.
people dont need to be taught in vain by other people. have the Spirit, God, the Lord with-in you. the promised Spirit. if you dont have the Spirit, you are not His own. as written in bible.
I have first dibs on mihkalias 3rd marriage. That being said . Me and her both scored 0 on our politeness. The fights would pretty ruff... but ingine how fun the make ups would be! Ye ha!.. sorry.