dodie - Hate Myself (Official Video) 

the dodie dots

It’s Dodie of course it’s going to be fantastic

The production, my god the production. so many little details, so damn creative. Love the vid aesthetic too

My interpretation: dodie at the beginning is delivering messages. Not only were they unanswered, but trying to send them was getting so difficult (sitting still with a brain on fire) she does some of it blindfolded (eyes closed isn’t helping). She had to send these messages, she wants to. But it’s so difficult, no responses, she cuts her hand, falls under the weight of her messages and what she wants to express. I believe the song is about realising you have dated a pattern of partners who perhaps aren’t artistic or on the same intellectual plain as you are. They don’t want to talk about deep things, you do. You feel you can’t share you thoughts (I don’t think they get me dear) but you tried to make him/her ‘bloom’. And it ends up feeling like you’re the one with the problem. I believe at the end when she gets the uniform that’s her accepting exactly who she is and confidently goes about delivering her messages exactly as she wants without all the issues. She’s able to see herself differently, as a strong person who will indeed send her messages out all over the world as loud as she wants, and perhaps is realising she would need a partner to be as loud and unapologetic as herself. Great song, great video. LOVE this new era of Dodie. Gone is the yellow and the soprano uke. Dodie has clearly studied music a great deal and I’m super proud of the talented woman she has become. Her self awareness and journey are pretty amazing really.

postwoman dodie would be a dream, i cant believe how nobody's talking about this

She's a postwoman bcos her voice and music always deliver

As someone with ADHD, this song encompasses the feeling of RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Disorder) where if i perceive any form of rejection from someone I care about I immediately overthink and get immense anxiety. If someone I care about who usually opens up to me suddenly shut down around me I would probably sense myself into a spiral like the lyrics of this song

I love that she used a rural Cornish fishing village, the village I live in no less, even used my dad and stepmums letter box! Loved the music video

FUCKED UP HOW GOOD THIS IS

I love the metaphor in trying your hardest to deliver a message to other people so much :) when other people fall silent and you feel like it's your fault you want to overcompensate in communication really bad (at least that's how I interpreted it)

Edit: This is a quote from the pre-livestream video. Please read the comments below for link and important notes :) “It’s actually about passive aggression, it’s interesting, it’s more about when- I think it’s like a feeling that I have to deal with when someone else in my life, be it a partner or a friend, like, goes quiet, like, thinks introspectively and deals with their problems internally, I freak out, ‘cause I’m like, ‘I’m the problem,’ like, ‘what have I done, to make you feel upset?’ And that’s probably coming from past trauma.” She also mentioned a comment describing it as “finding anxiety in someone’s silence.” -Dodie (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-EC3M1j-jOJQ.html) I love everything about this. That last line is *chef's kiss* Whenever my social anxiety kicks in, or i've just come out to someone, or in an argument, even just in a casual conversation... my mind fills that silence with anxious thoughts I *know* are probably not true but I can't *help* it! So relatable.

I've been obsessively rewatching this, it's brilliant!

Honestly - as a postman - HARD relate.

She is the main character in an imaginary Ghibli movie.

This is a clear hat tip to Kiki's delivery service and I am shocked that no one is commenting on it. The deliveries, the costumes, the cat, the stairs, the floating in the end

As someone who struggles with compulsively trying to meet the needs of my partners, this song hits. To me, the meaning is literal, and when people are quiet and I can't read their vibe, I blame myself for doing something wrong and hate myself - even when I didn't do anything wrong and everything's actually fine. Thanks dodie. I feel seen. I don't think I can help it, but I'm working on being kinder to myself.

BOP

dodie trains for postal service olympics, gets old lady’s approval and ascends 10/10 would watch again

As an autistic person, I relate to the lyrics so much. I find it almost impossible to read social cues. Unless people say what they're feeling or what I need to do for them,I have a very hard time. One of the things I hate the most is when people get upset or go silent over something I did without explaining why it hurt them. Because since I rarely know how others feel about things, I'm clueless about my supposed wrongdoings. In that little window of silence,I hate myself more than the usual amount.

For me, this song is about overcoming struggles with mental health. Dodie has to practice being a good postwoman over and over again and it's difficult work. She fails a few times but eventually, she gets to the part where she is able to let go of the letters (maybe a representation of her thoughts) and sees the light at the end. I know there are lots of interpretations of this and I think it's beautiful that Dodie has been able to relate to so many through her music in so many ways!

LOOK AT DODIE WORKING TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION. Through the POSTAL SERVICE

HOW CAN A GIRL THAT SINGS IN LOWERCASE MAKE SUCH A BOP

[Verse 1] Could it be different? Did I ruin the day? Oh, do you look angry? Oh, what did I say? Filling in the gaps, build a problem that Neither of us needs, something wrong with me (Mmh-mmh-mmh) I'm getting desperate, losing my mind Oh, how do we get here, every time? One will fold their arms, one will do the dance Really is no need, something wrong with me [Pre-Chorus] No, I don't think I can help it (Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!) (Nope) [Chorus] Oh, so illogical, I'm not magical, I can't read your mind But how can you not hear the whole conversation? I have, sitting still with a brain on fire I know, it's a me-thing Eyes closed - isn't helping? When you go quiet, I hate myself When you go quiet, I hate myself [Verse 2] Look at you sideways, playing a game Oh, what if I laugh now, think I'm insane Filling in the gaps, build a problem that Neither of us needs, something wrong with me Pushing a boundary, something to prove Strong expectation, you already lose Oh, one will fold their arms, one will do the dance Really is no need, something wrong with me [Pre-Chorus] No, I don't think I can help it (K) [Chorus] Oh, so illogical, I'm not magical, I can't read your mind (Read your mind) But how can you not hear the whole conversation? I have, sitting still with a brain on fire (Brain on fire) I know, it's a me-thing Eyes closed - isn't helping? When you go quiet, I hate myself When you go quiet, I hate myself [Bridge] Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Oh, something here must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here Don't think they get me, dear I'm only proving how I'm only worth losing now Give me a mystery, maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones, something here must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here, don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet, I hate myself) Don't think they get me, dear (No I don't...) Give me a mystery, maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones, something that must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here, don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet, I hate myself) Don't think they get me, dear [Outro] No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (When you go quiet, I hate myself) (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (When you go quiet, I hate myself) No, I don't think I can help it (Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm)

Love this song!!

it's always so GOOD. Love your work!

So the symbolism could be, that we think we can only "deliver" when we're doing so perfectly. Constantly striving for perfection, but in the end, what we needed to release ourself and give ourself fully to others, was already there. She could've put on that uniform in the beginning, she still did what she needed to do, self restraint is harsh. Just my own interpretation.

yey a self-loathing song that's actually bopping and doesn't really sound depressing :)) my self-hating playlist will like this

everyone talking about drivers license but sleeping on this songggggg 😮

that woman watching dodie through the window and nodding approvingly at the end is all of us

I’d pay extra postage to have dodie be my neighborhood postwoman

Dodie taking boxes out of chests and dramatically opening them is beginning to become somewhat of a theme in these music videos

This is phenomenal. The aesthetics, the concept of this postwoman and her struggles, her voice, this calm, soft song..... I mean.... I can't describe it.

I hate myself too wow

The Doddle Postal service ✉️

SHE SPITS TO THE LEFT SMILES CARRIES ON AND SAYS SHES GOOD FUCK THIS DODIE YOURE SO TALENTED I CANT

Dodie: *Rolls up trousers* *Sweater Weather plays in the background*

Dodie wanting to carry someone else’s baggage is too relateable

lyrics!

To me this song is about social anxiety and the video is about learning to live with it in a healthy way

As someone with anxiety dating someone with bipolar depression who has days where he goes nearly nonverbal, I hard relate to "When you go quiet, I hate myself." I keep trying to sing along cause the song is SUCH a banger but I just keep crying (oops!). Fabulous, dodie!! Can't wait for the album

I’ve suffered with eating disorders for years, and tonight, I’ve decided it’s time to get help. I keep listening to this song to remind me of the feeling I had when I finally decided I need help so that I don’t forget in the morning. Edit: I’m officially in a treatment facility!!!

i’m never NOT impressed- i seriously love this.

“oh i don’t think i can help it” on the second time the bridge plays is when dodie wraps a bandaid around her paper cut. i like to think it’s the music video alluding to the fact that, in fact, can be helped. changing the people who we allow in our life and changing our boundaries (her putting on the uniform) can help a lot more than we think.

Ok but the lady who gave her the thumbs up in the end was literally the cutest

dodie looks beautiful and my gayness is ✨thriving✨

As someone who is usually "the one who goes quiet" but has also occasionally been the "I hate myself" in one of these kinds of dynamics, this song really resonates. The whole idea of building a problem that isn't there, racking your brain trying to parse clues and signs that don't actually exist. My understanding of the video is that it's just about working on more effective, direct communication and how developing that interpersonal skill can be a way to lift yourself out of that anxious place of cyclical thinking (as represented by her elevating out of the dark, dusty post office and into the light at the end). Wonderful song + video.

Everyone else is making music videos about love storys and parties, meanwhile dodie is out here becoming a post god

Totally freaked out by the fact that I saved this song on a personal playlist yesterday as a hard relate and then discovered the music video is set where I grew up.. What.

Dodie *Intense training* Random: "What are you training for? Competition?" Dodie: "A delivery position at the post."

I really appreciate that the cinematography in the later half. The shots move slower and is more stable as if they aren’t in a rush/mess delivering these “letters”. Then this uniform dodie wears and her ascension ignoring all those “letters” gives this an up note end for me. Awesomeness!!

1:09 could that possibly be a ‘spit to the left, just carry on and smile and say your good’? Or am I overthinking

She really delivered the message

Dodie's voice sounds like the aural equivalent of drinking a cup of tea

Me: *sees new dodie song *immediately clicks Doddle: premises in THREE DAYS!! like waiting for build a problem patiently ain’t enough

Really looked at this song's lyrics. I couldn't have needed this more now as I await my official diagnosis. Although it may have not been intended that way, I took this to heart and related it to how I'm like with my Favorite Person relationships-the way I overthink, catastrophize, devalue, split, and idealize. It's been a rough decade, I'll say. But I'm thankful for this beautiful piece of art and the amount of time and execution it took to make it happen. Sending all love

The way this song explains anxiety perfectly.

Lyrics!! Could it be different? Did I ruin the day? Oh do you look angry? Oh what did I say? Filling in the gaps Build a problem that Neither of us need Something wrong with me I'm getting desperate Losing my mind Oh how do we get here Every time? One will fold their arms One will do the dance Really is no need Something wrong with me No, I don't think I can help it (No) Oh so illogical I'm not magical I can't read your mind But how can you not hear The whole conversation I have sitting still with a brain on fire? I know it's a me thing Eyes closed isn't helping When you go quiet I hate myself When you go quiet I hate myself Look at you sideways Playing a game Oh what if I laugh now? I think I'm insane Filling in the gaps Build a problem that Neither of us need Something wrong with me Pushing a boundary Something to prove Strong expectation You already lose Oh one will fold their arms One will do the dance Really is no need Something wrong with me No, I don't think I can help it Oh so illogical I'm not magical I can't read your mind But how can you not hear The whole conversation I have sitting still with a brain on fire? I know it's a me thing Eyes closed isn't helping When you go quiet I hate myself When you go quiet I hate myself Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Oh something here must be done I'm open and ready here I don't think they get me, dear I'm only proving how I'm only worth losing now Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Something here must be done I'm open and ready here I don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet I hate myself) I don't think they get me, dear Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Something here must be done I'm open and ready here I don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet I hate myself) I don't think they get me, dear No, I don't think (I don't think they get me) I can help it (I don't think they get me) No, I don't think (I don't think they get me) I can help it (I don't think they get me) (When you go quiet I hate myself) No, I don't think (I don't think they get me) I can help it (I don't think they get me) No, I don't think (I don't think they get me) I can help it (When you go quiet I hate myself) No, I don't think I can help it

I love how she keeps going, smiling head held high, but the voices don't go away. You learn to live with it I guess.

and then there's me thinking "I wanna live wherever she's filming rn"

I have great admiration for this hard working post woman, I'm glad she got to ascend like Grizabella at the end of cats

God, Dodie - you're so GOOD.

“When you go quiet, I hate myself” oof this line I- As someone who constantly overthinks and cares so much about how the other person is feeling when with me, this line resonates so loudly. Thank you Dodie for managing to voice my subconscious thoughts

We have immortalised the dodie dots with this mv YAYYY 🙌

Such a great song! Pretty sure the location here is Polperro, an absolutely beautiful little place on the south coast of Cornwall - definitely recommend a visit!

beautiful

Can already tell this song is going to be a ✨mood✨

First I would like to thank your parents for bringing you into this world . I hope one day I get the honor of meeting you. Peace love and happiness is what you have given to my soul.

I really relate to overthinking silence and projecting meaning onto it; 'someone not speaking to me must mean they're angry or upset with me, they're thinking this or that' when really they're just chilling ahaaa

the ending part is a divine cross between “bittersweet symphony” and a Sufjan Stevens song, anyone feel that?? So good!

"When you go quiet I hate myself" is such a powerful line

When you realise life is hard and dodie brings out a new song and suddenly the worlds just a bit brighter. Thank you

I LOVE this! The sounds, the sounds! All the squeaks of the guitar, the layers of the instruments, and I especially love the little taps during the chorus! And your voice pairs so well with it! This is great!

I have several half theories as to the meanings of things in this video. Sorting through mail = trying to sort out nonverbal "messages" from the other Trying to get better at sending the mail = trying to get better at expressing the conversations that swirl in your mind "on fire" The fact that she does get better and is in uniform at the end may represent her feeling that she's gotten better at communicating in relationships or at sorting through her thoughts that lead to her hating herself based on the silence of someone who matters to her. Ooh I think the intense physical training is representative of intense mental training because of having something like social anxiety. Or even just insecurity.

One element of the postal service training I think is interesting is that from an outside perspective, it seems like a job that doesn't require a lot of effort, or at least the amount of effort that dodie is putting in during the video. And I think this means that the job choice is partly to emphasize that the average person does not look for these problems within their day to day to life or job. (Also many other interpretations and layers to it of course!)

Magnificent ! I can't help but drink a glass of organic apple juice thinking of those 437 people who seem to dislike the talents of this talented person! The world will always amaze me ... Thank you for this beautiful evocation of human stupidity. However the key word concerning the survival of humanity is well: "communication".

The grandma in the window is one of my favorite details lol

"Special Thanks: Artie The Cat" the respect he deserves

Why does every Dodie song just make me feel like... *SHE GETS IT*

There are no words to describe how it felt when I listened to this song for the first time. I'd never known how to put that feeling into words. I remember listening to it afterwards on repeat in bed, crying my eyes out with happiness and sadness.

Letters are a physical representation of people talking. The fact dodie is delivering letters could be a reference to her speaking and not receiving letters herself (not having a reply). This is definitely a push, but it seems like she gets better at delivering her letters (words) as the video and time progress. This is because she is starting to understand her fault (finding anxiety in other peoples silence) and has started to accept and explain it better. In writing this song we can see dodie is aware and therefore able to talk about the fault easier.

I love this!! I interpreted it as the use of the envelopes as containers of words and problems. You're not sure how to not be overwhelmed by the weight of the baggage of them all and then eventually let go. By delivering them to the recipient and taking control of the situation, you learn that words and their weight aren't always your own to receive.

Lyrics: [Verse 1] Could it be different? Did I ruin the day? Oh, do you look angry? Oh, what did I say!? Filling in the gaps Build a problem that Neither of us needs Something wrong with me (Mmm-mmm-mmm) [Verse 2] I'm getting desperate Losing my mind Oh, how do we get here Every time? One will fold their arms One will do the dance Really is no need; Something wrong with me [Pre-Chorus] No, I don't think I can help it (Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!) (Nope) [Chorus] Oh, so illogical I'm not magical - I can't read your mind! But how can you not hear the whole conversation I have, sitting still with a brain on fire? I know - it's a me thing Eyes closed - isn't helping? When you go quiet, I hate myself When you go quiet, I hate myself [Verse 3] Look at you sideways Playing a game Oh what if I laugh now Think I'm insane Filling in the gaps Build a problem that Neither of us needs Something wrong with me [Verse 4] Pushing a boundary Something to prove Strong expectation You already lose Oh, one will fold their arms One will do the dance Really is no need; Something wrong with me [Pre-Chorus] No, I don't think I can help it (K) [Chorus] Oh, so illogical I'm not magical - I can't read your mind! But how can you not hear the whole conversation I have, sitting still with a brain on fire? I know - it's a me thing Eyes closed - isn't helping? When you go quiet, I hate myself When you go quiet, I hate myself [Bridge] Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Oh, something that must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here Don't think they get me, dear I'm only proving how I'm only worth losing now Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Something that must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here Don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet, I hate myself) Don't think they get me, dear (No I don't...) Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Something that must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here Don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet, I hate myself) Don't think they get me, dear [Outro] No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (When you go quiet, I hate myself) (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (When you go quiet, I hate myself) No, I don't think I can help it (Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm) Edit: Holy moly! Thank you so much for all the likes!

1:51 god I loved this

I always find myself relating to Dodie's music, but this one in particular hits really close to home. I'm autistic, and have really bad anixety, so I tend to overthink conversations. Someone replies to a text a little late? They secretly hate me. What if what I said came off as rude? I need to apologize or they won't want to be my friend anymore. We haven't talked in a while, this must mean they've forgotten I exist. idk, just needed to get that off my chest, lol

I'm sitting in my bedroom crying over a mailwoman's success story and there's nothing else I'd rather be doing right now.

why did I tear up when you saluted at the lady

That desperation to not just communicate but to control the communication! Brilliant!

unfortunately, i started to listen to your music right as something sad happened irl, and now whenever i hear your music i get really sad, which is a shame since i loved it. hope you keep growing girl.

at 2:11 , when she finally did it, but then her expression turned into “oh it’s on now” BRO ITS SO SIMPLE BUT SO GOOD

to everyone who relates to the title, you are so loved.

This is so 'Klaus' I'm obsessed

I love this, layers of meaning in the craftmanship, so clever!

This was outstanding

Great track and seriously impressed with the video Sammy!

This is one of my FAVORITE music videos now. So gorgeous!

I AM NEVER GONNA STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS SONG

Lyrics!! Could it be different? Did I ruin the day? Oh, do you look angry? Oh, what did I say!? Filling in the gaps Build a problem that Neither of us needs Something wrong with me (Mmm-mmm-mmm) I'm getting desperate Losing my mind Oh, how do we get here Every time? One will fold their arms One will do the dance Really is no need; Something wrong with me No, I don't think I can help it (Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!) (Nope) Oh, so illogical I'm not magical - I can't read your mind! But how can you not hear the whole conversation I have, sitting still with a brain on fire? I know - it's a me thing Eyes closed - isn't helping? When you go quiet, I hate myself When you go quiet, I hate myself Look at you sideways Playing a game Oh what if I laugh now Think I'm insane Filling in the gaps Build a problem that Neither of us needs Something wrong with me Pushing a boundary Something to prove Strong expectation You already lose Oh, one will fold their arms One will do the dance Really is no need; Something wrong with me No, I don't think I can help it (K) Oh, so illogical I'm not magical - I can't read your mind! But how can you not hear the whole conversation I have, sitting still with a brain on fire? I know - it's a me thing Eyes closed - isn't helping? When you go quiet, I hate myself When you go quiet, I hate myself Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Oh, something that must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here Don't think they get me, dear I'm only proving how The moment we're losing now Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Something that must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here Don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet, I hate myself) Don't think they get me, dear (No I don't...) Give me a mystery Maybe they'll bloom for me It's always the quiet ones Something that must be done I'm hoping I'm ready here Don't think they get me, dear (When you go quiet, I hate myself) Don't think they get me, dear No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (When you go quiet, I hate myself) (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (Don't think they get me here) No, I don't think (Don't think they get me here) I can help it (When you go quiet, I hate myself) No, I don't think I can help it (Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm)

okay but this training montage is more compelling than 90% of movie montages i just want postwoman dodie to succeed 🥺🥺 live ur dreams, postwoman dodie!!! deliver those letters!!!

Dodie's songwriting and production have come soso far since I first came around in 2014-15 ish and it makes me so happy

How can Dodie hate herself. She is such a pure soul. Many of us don't even have one.