Ft @randirossario, @kitarose_, @richiefontane, @acemetaphor, @rico_hundo, @justmikethepoet To continue the episode or order your own conversation deck click here: linktr.ee/tonightsconversatio...
I genuinely feel that it’s for sexual reasons . To be wanted by the next (“right”) person. Period . . To be found “attractive” . To be chosen That’s it
Society: Eww look at the way her body look. She don’t have no body…need to gain weight…need to lose weight…no curves. Also society: She don’t love herself because she altered her appearance. She looked better before
If someone follows society they'll always be lost. Society will always find the negative. Even so you'll have hate for doing great. "Who she think she is?"
@darkknight007 what? I don't think your comment relates to what I'm saying. You're referring everyone being followers. I'm talking about society being over critical of everything you do, so you have to do what makes you happy as a person.
@@kenya88831 ok? you can do what you think will make you happy because you don't love yourself as you are. Society is still right in that regard. you didn't make any point.
Makeup can cause blindness or even death depending on the bacteria that’s living in the makeup no different it’s all a form of body modification no one has gold lids with a cat eye come on you can’t call out one with out calling out the other
I haven't had surgery but as women our bodies change with pregnancy, hormones, thyroid changes, and genetically sometimes. The people/person haven't experience these things. What they think about it is irrelevant. People do what makes you happy, what makes you comfortable in your skin, just be safe.
It's called being proud of yourself Now been having babies for years they know that you can get your body back if you put in work but they re lazy they do not want to exercise eat right they want a quick fix And when they are 85 with them fake body parts that would be interesting to see
Here is my thought: Makeup, wigs and lashes can very easily come off and shouldn’t alter how you look. It may help enhance but there are extremes to these as well. I would not compare any surgery to something that can be removed easily the same day with no help such as makeup. My issue with any of it is because there definitely is level of laziness and insecurity linked to it all. If I have self love in the way my body looks, then I’m not going out and choosing surgery unless for medical reasons . Every situation is different so I can’t box them all in, but our creator created us beautifully. Sometimes we send the message as if he made a mistake with us whenever we mistreat our temple. I have done it so I’m not judging but it still holds true.
The best comment ever. I met this young lady who wanted to have surgery, but was told by the doctor she has to lose some weight before getting the surgery. So she was like I'm going to take pills to drop the weight. All because she didn't won't to do the work. SMH it's sad and this surgery foolishness is getting out of hand. My son cab driver is no longer here, because of this surgery. Her body was perfectly fine. Than she wanted this done and that done. Women love y'all selves better.
@@truettadevil I can’t answer for everyone. I do and will. The problem isn’t necessarily the addictions in my opinion. I believe the problem is the reason why most people add and the mindset that it carries. If you do it just because you like it and that’s how you do maintenance then it’s ok, but if you find your identity in it and don’t know who you are without it…then it becomes a problem. If that makes sense
I agree with the women in brown 110%. People alter themselves wearing makeup, wigs, hair color, nails, eye color, eye brows,tattoos and etc. The list goes on and on
This is true but surgery is a different kind of investment. Wigs, makeup, lashes and contacts can be easily taken off. Surgery is altering the structure of your body which to me hits different. IJS
The surgery has to be done again after a certain amount of years Because your body will start to reject A Is the fake object There are millions of side effects As a little girl It looked like your mum Then one day your mum comes home and looks like a completely different person Little girl is not gonna feel good with herself
It’s self hate! When plastic surgery came out what was their marketing strategy?! “If you don’t like this and that about yourself don’t have to live with it. Change it!” Then the plastic comments ppl made about “not being plastic and Having natural bodies came with an uproar. Now you have fat transfer, bbl, lipo, and all this other shit to Change what You Don’t love/like about yourself. I think too many people are look at the word “hate” and “ I don’t hate myself”… this just came to be typing a lot of people walk around with other people thoughts. That’s why people can justify their actions because they’ve heard their actions being justified before
It's my belief that if you get cosmetic surgery you do NOT love yourself and most women are trying to be the woman that their man enjoys looking at. You stand out to a man when you're natural, looking your best amongst the women who have work done. It absolutely is true that when you work out your butt and breast lift and you start to develope love for yourself.
Lol ppl in the comments don't see it as self hate but you can literally do exercises to make your body how you want but ppl are too insecure to wait for the work out to show improvement. On top of that if u out of shape your body isn't the healthiest. So putting that 7000 into your health screams self love over getting surgery to me. Nd who ever gets a bbl will be showing it off on social media so stop hoping in the comments like it ain't true.
Working out to her toned make your but bigger isn’t self hate? Do you not have snap because most girls i see who go to the gym always be on social media showing out their body and body and one woman in here is wearing weave and they are wearing makeup is that self hate as well? Self hate is yet just another word (like toxic) that is over used by ppl with no understanding of it educate and expand your mind more so you don’t make ignorant comments such as this
@@aerialharrell235 You are getting surgery and you are overweight you have a risk of dying Some surgeons will tell the patient to lose some weight before they start the procedure
We have hundreds of physical features and we didn’t chose ANY of them (that we were born with). It’s a little narcissistic to say that you will absolutely ✨ADORE😍✨ each and every last thing about yourself 🙄 Idc if you dislike your toes, or extra body hair, or your height, your weight, big or small feet, saggy breasts, a double chin, a receding hairline or whatever! If you can change it and it enhances your quality of life and how YOU feel about yourself - that’s not self hate ✌️
My only problem with surgery & all those other things named is that it'll never change how you really feel about yourself. It changes the physical but not the mental. You still don't love yourself or maybe even like yourself. There's a difference between enhancing & completely changing. I understand mothers & people who suffer deformities but people who just go get them because they dislike something about themselves will always seek to get more surgery instead of loving themselves
I agree with girl in the brown ,people do what makes you happy I know women who did all the hard work and then got snatched , only thing is it’s a risk taking enhancement it’s not as simple as putting on makeup
Im wondering if Kita had a bbl surgery 🤔... .I don't understand why people stand on soap boxes against...just as much as why people defend it....let ppl do what they want ...period
Thank you Kita! People change themselves all the time and nobody calls it self hate when it comes to hair dye, makeup, wigs and lashes-all unnatural. And hate is a strong word, if anything it's just an insecurity(we all have them) not self-hatred.
@@jaquariusmilner7628 surgery can be reversed. Tattoos are so called permanent and can be reversed too. You can have your eyebrows and headline tattooed “permanently” There’s “permanent” hair dye. If there were permanent lash extensions and other things It’d probably make people want them more. I think it’s self preservation/ competitiveness, maybe even greed, wanting the utmost attention one could possibly have. People get tattoos to look more attractive.
You don't have to wear your natural hair 24/7 to be comfortable with it. I wear my hair 95% of the time but if I wanna change the color or length I'll put a wig on for the sake of switching things up
Definitely self hate. Personally I hate my stomach after having kids and as soon as I get some money imma change it. You can choose to embrace it or change it.
I had surgery two years ago, and it was absolutely life-changing. So many people have written online about how it changes the way you know yourself, the way you walk, the way you feel in your own skin. And all of that happened for me and more. Now I completely understand why people feel driven to have gender, affirming surgery. But I also have seen how judgmental people are. I can’t believe I waited so long. I went around in my own head for years, doubting myself, and questioning if I loved myself, but once I had it done, I realized it is an act of self love. I deserve to feel good in my skin. I deserve to do whatever I want to do to be happy. I understood the power of prioritizing myself. People get braces, people get their teeth done, they go to the dermatologist, they spend money to get their skin, looking better, and all kinds of things, we learned dress ourselves to bring forward the things we like, to be seen the way that we want. Nobody touches that. I’m telling you, when you prioritize yourself and your happiness your whole reality changes. I understand that now and in a way I never did before.
And thank you for saying that when we get to heaven without wearing lashes or make up or wigs or anything like that. God doesn’t see us that way. The God that we know isn’t judging you because you did what you needed to do. I like to think that when I get to those gates, I’m seeing for the love, and the kindness I gave others for the way I took care of my parents. When I tried to be compassionate, when I gave to charity, of my money in my time. That I chose to be good to people. But I chose, and I tried not to create paying for other people. we don’t judge people for collecting deformities, we judge the mass deformities. At the end of the day, we all have different things that we need to do to be at peace with ourselves. Having surgery taught me that I will always always prioritize my well-being my mental health and the peace that I need to feel good about myself as in most of the world. Whatever that requires to do it.
My outlook on this is in for it to a certain degree like say if you were 300+ pounds and you worked out and lost the weight and you have loose skin hanging that is a good reason, but if you get surgery because all the big booty women get attention and that’s what u want then it’s self hate
It affects the next person because the more people around you that have surgery the less acceptable normal bodies become, you create a euphoria for the community that having normal bodies is not ideal. Our individual decisions to hate ourselves have an effect on others to do the same
Listen! Women say all the time that we don’t wear makeup, lashes or wigs that it’s not for men but it is. It’s not just for us at all. People wanna look beautiful to attract others. I don’t wear none of that stuff but I will do natural hair dye when I get older.
Hey do you, if you want to alter your look go for it, but please be smart- don’t get cheap and desperate that you don’t get it done safely. You get what you pay for and when it’s too good to be true- you know the rest.
Not sure how we got from make up and lashes to BBL? BBL has the highest mortality rate (death rate) out of any cosmetic surgery. COSMETIC. The acceptable mortality rate for a cosmetic surgery for me is zero. Comparing that to lashes and make up, that's a REACH
It's not self-hate. I think that's taking it too far. Some people get surgery to return things to the way they were before babies or weight gain etc. Some people have very unflattering shapes so it's hard for people with decent bodies to relate or say what they wouldn't do.
There are ways to get your body back after you have a baby But you have to work at it It will take about 9 months 1st of all if you breast feed your child It helps draw up your belly There are lots of ways for you to get back that shape But just remember Now you're a mother Never be the same person you was before you had that baby
I agree... my boobs LITERALLY hung to my belly button. My nipples pointed to the ground!!!! Hell yeah, I had the doctor snatch those bitches back up!!!😂😂😂😂
Wearing makeup, jewelry, or switching up your hair is style... a trend. It's a personal look that varies by the individual. It doesn't permanently alter, drastically change your appearance or cause death. I don't think women who get surgery are weak. I don't think they should be pitied or othered. It just pisses me off that "society"😒 upholds this ever-changing standard of beauty MAINLY about women's bodies (especially black women), and it makes us ALL (natural or not) feel inadequate. When we look in the mirror and think "I'd be willing to risk my life for a bigger/smaller whatever," it's not coming from self-love. It's pressure, judgment, and constant scrutiny from a very young age until we leave this Earth. A big part of our worth is determined by our looks, and it's not by OUR choice. It affects us all and just because you didn't get surgery doesn't mean you aren't changing in other ways due to insecurity.
Saying surgery is equaled to self hate is like saying makeup (which they are wearing) weave (which i believe one is wearing) fake nails and going to the gym is self hate as well lmao
You compared make up something that you can wipe off to a fake butt that you can’t change lol ppl only pay for those surgeries because they didn’t wanna go to the gym
Make up is an art that compliments outfits or occasions. Surgery is…surgery. The fact that people spend thousands of dollars to put themselves in a life or death situation to implant foreign objects or move fat tissue around for a specific figure can only stem from deep deep insecurities. The same women getting these surgeries are the same ones preaching “society expects so much from women” “companies feed off of womens insecurities” NO. Just because you want to come off as attractive to as much people as possible isn’t anyone else’s fault but your own. Strong, secure women don’t rely on other people or doctors to give them confidence.
I think what people don’t realize, is, make up, surgeries… these things alter your soul. When you’re in them and when not in them you literally act and are different. And many people assume the made-up person to be the their real persona. And this, has implications on your eternity. I wish I had words to properly explain or expound on this.
I wear colored contacts sometimes and she right I just like the alteration but I'm not finna die to have them hell sometimes I forget I have them unless I'm on a special occasion but I'm still in different about the surgery part that scary to me for ME...
Majority of females would change a little something. Kids change your body sooooo much, stress, health problems, age etc. And a lot of people are terrified of surgery so that fear just stops them but if they wasn’t they would.
Whatever you do just make sure you love yourself. None of the alterations no matter how big or small will guarantee anyone love and respect. Make sure you love and respect yourself 1st.
I like the idea of loving oneself and not competing for anyone’s attention or anyone’s train to be popular. Mommy’s makeover they deserve a chance though sometimes the gym doesn’t quite cut it. Do your research before these horror stories occur. You’re always enough to someone who can’t handle u. ❤
Now me personally I don't agree with BBL and stuff like that because of the risk it comes with, but I wouldn't consider it self hate............I think (my opinion) that the people that calls it self hate don't really know what self hate is. Self is the internal (your mind, your soul, your personality) part of you. A sense of who you are. Your identity.
Dying your hair and going through a BBL procedure are not the same things. I like to dye my hair it doesn't mean that I dislike my natural hair color it just means that I like different types of colors in my hair. A woman going to a doctor to make her ass fatter or breasts bigger is a sign of insecurity from my perspective because I've heard tons of women say "I was so insecure about my small ass so I paid to get it bigger" Getting breasts implants and BBL"s are signs of insecurities.
But is sorta is… same way you heard people say they got Bbls cus they were insecure, same way I heard people say I dyed my hair because I was insecure, or I cut my hair because I hated the way it looks, if that’s your argument, everything someone does to alter their body should be insecurity. Got your ears pierced oop insecure, she hated the way her ears looked bare. Put lip gloss on why can’t you be happy with you crusty lips. Not everybody gets bbls or boob lifts for insecurity. I love my body But I consider getting tattoos does that make me insecure
@@vanessanar7584 Vaseline on your lips🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣 You are pulling that straws To moisturise your lips so they do not get dry Why do you drink water It is a form of insecurity and everybody knows that but they re trying to make it look good
The problem amongst the “Black Community “ is we care (wayyy) to much about what others think! Not many decisions are made for self but the opinions of others. It starts young and subconsciously throughout adulthood in most. This causes “insecurity” because there’s a standard that is usually set that one is trying to meet, in order to feel accepted and/or accomplished. It is a “norm” for many both men and women.
Yes Kita. Let it be known there ain’t wigs, weave, make up, nails, etc in heaven either and you’re altering yourself to look/feel better. I feel people forget this when they’re coming for the women getting plastic surgery like stop you’re on the same boat, different deck but same boat, have some self awareness. Just because make up can come off easy or whatever doesn’t mean you’re not insecure, looking to fix something. Especially the women wearing it everyday definitely don’t need to be talking down on no one.
Woman always argue an extreme scenario, god bless her grandmother and I am sincere about that, but dying your hair and getting a tumor is not the same as plastic surgery please 🛑
I believe you can change up these things without hating themselves initially and wanting to enhance something about themselves. But a lot of times it is self hate or doing it to compete/keep a man.
What happened to women before cosmetic surgery or for that matter hair dye? Nothing. You had to deal with the hand you're given and you live your best life. That's why women of old were far happier than the modern women today. They couldn't hide behind anything and they took good care of themselves. But that's based on reality so never mind.
Anyone who gets cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks, e.g. Kardashians, Nicki Minaj, I better never hear them preaching “love yourself” while embracing this BBL era
I wouldn't consider it self hate, any more than I would for getting a haircut - we want to see something different from what we natively are. You can't on the one hand argue that it could be self hate, when y'all up there with relaxers and purchased hair. Hair color, skin lighteners, spray tans.... maybe sometimes it's hate or maybe you just want what you don't have.
I guess that's why everyone is entitled to their opinion and it's nothing wrong with that but don't look down on anyone because you can't generalize every surgical procedure due to your thinking.
A guy from my town once said "if you have money and you're ugly, it's your fault. Don't be expecting dudes to nurse your insecurities about your body when you have the funds to look the way you want"
I love how they say its self hate but neglect the fact that womens bodies change for multiple reasons like pregnancy and some women just want to go back to there normal body.
Anything that us cosmetic that can ve put on and taken off is fine. Changing how you look is a common thing for men and women. Surgery is in my opinion an extreme. Ifvyiuvwant a certain bidy type try exercise first. The body can he reshaped.
We have always decorated our bodies in the nose colors in the hair colors on the face objects in lips objects in ears. Let these wonan be great. Itsbin oue DEA... Yes i ment DEA. Nice talk though
When you have altered your self so much that your kids aren’t going to look like you anymore and you didn’t like what you looked like before surgery what’s that telling your babies?
It def is a form of self hate and feeling like you're not good enough. PERIOD! Hair dying TO "HIDE/TRY TO DEFY YOUR AGE" is TOO, a form of self hate. PERIOD! COME FOR ME AS I KNOW YOU WILL! But then again, don't bother because you'll get no response. I SAID WHAT I SAID!
Im most definitely getting a boob lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck... Having 4 children and 4 c sections messed my body up... C section belly's is something the gym can't fix 🤷🏾🤷🏾🤷🏾🤷🏾
And if you die… would it be worth dying for Vanity. And what would you tell your Maker. That he made a mistake lol. Your body gonna change overtime it’s called aging lol
