Does My Ex Want Me To Contact Them?

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Clay Andrews answers the question, "Does my ex want me to contact them?"
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If you're finding yourself wondering "Does my ex want me to make the first move or not?" then you're going to get a good sense of that in this video.
As with most things, you want to look at your ex's personality and their emotional state at the time to get a look into what they might be thinking or what could be driving them to do or not do certain things.
Your ex may be waiting for you to make a move or to chase them for many different reasons. Maybe they think that you should make the first move because they think that they hurt you too much after the breakup. Maybe you are a man, and they think that the man should always make the first move. Or maybe they feel guilty after breaking up with you and they are just having a hard time reaching through the emotional pain to actually contact you themselves so they are wainting for you to make the first move.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

Опубликовано:

30 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 102

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Thanks for watching this video. I hope you're staying safe and healthy with everything going on out there. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. We'll get through this together.

@mahjabinuddin9545 4 года назад

Today's is been full 30 days and I was doing my thing and he tex me saying his worried abut me and etc wow the no contacts does works and he all so said his not happy with out me

@rebeccap3691 4 года назад

I hope you do read this and I really hope you do, I need help, my ex emailed me out of the blue telling me to come down to see him because he thought he had Coronavirus and he has a new relationship she lives in another contact, I still went while I was at high risk, I did what my heart was telling me to, now I am sat here on his bed sat right beside him, we shared a bath and everything because he was all over the place, this is really hurting me because now I just feel used...he said it’s “ ok for us to share a bath and it’s ok because we seen each other naked” even tho he was touching me in ways he shouldn’t, I am very upset I got very drunk last night and went frustrated..I am so hurt because I am confused on what the hell I am, I do too much for him and it bloodly hurts I cried because he didn’t care, I spoke to him on how I feel and it just felt nothing I feel so confused I need answers because right now I feel played and he is a right cheater, he told me she was flirting with people so they are not talking and I feel like it’s all a excuse...I really thought his new gf was a rebound but he loves her very much he says...I don’t think so..if u love someone why the f did he contact after telling me to go kill my self..something ISNT right, I will give u all my money for answers I am so frustrated and so upset ! Please contact me on my email or something I really need help as I am very confused, I am all over the place I feel played he is such a cheater I wish I can just tell her but I can’t because he will say lies.

@joeyfernandez9892 4 года назад

Random statement, but I hope everyone is doing good :)

@ericforsyth9305 4 года назад

Yes I am good thank's being concern be grateful

@maireadbrosnan3070 4 года назад

You too Joey, hope you're well

@empressCharnia 2 года назад

I hope you are too. God bless!

@alekpiercedraws6571 2 года назад

I am not...everything died. Dreams and have no income anymore...

@royanroyer790 4 года назад

Bro you should never contact em first cause it boosts their ego. Just let the universe work n yr silence work

@Calida2308 4 года назад

I Ignored him in February n the result was that he drunk texted me one month later insulting n abusive things.. Called me names n we argued for 14 days till he blocked me everywhere n never wanna see me again. I shouldn't care after all the things he said to me.. But I do I agree tht contacting them boost their ego.. But if u contact them in a nice peaceful way they will think of u.... Maybe they will be angry bcauze u contacted them.. But one day this will fade n they gonna think about it N than u got the upper hand..n it's never weak trying to get peace or clearing something

@pratyushchand7091 4 года назад

Totally agree with you brother. Universe or the higher power has always my back. And I know she will definitely contact me as I am the only one for her. Thank you brother.

@specialk864 3 года назад

I’m sayn, lol. reachin out to a ex, dat dumped you, w out them reachin out to you 1st, is sum retarded shit. man, woman, or child... you a whole B I T C H , you reach out to yo ex dat dumped you, before dey reach out to you. ... might as well lay down, off the rip, and let em’ walk all over you, for the whole entire relationship, while you at it.

@krakent8791 3 года назад

Do this if you're immature

@jamesg2609 4 года назад

She left 7 months ago after a 17 year relationship. We have spoken 4 times in that time. I told her I wanted to get back together 6 weeks ago. All I have heard is crickets. .. no contact for me.. peace and quiet.. I still love her and want her bsck...

@yzwoody 4 года назад

Screw that the ball is in their court if they are the ones that ended it have some pride people

@blessaries 4 года назад

What is this supposed to mean buddy?

@yzwoody 4 года назад

Dominique West There’s a little emotion in that comment LOL but basically all I’m saying is if they ended it they shouldn’t be expecting you to get a hold of them they need to be the ones to have a decency to reach out to you and get the ball rolling

@blessaries 4 года назад

yzwoody that’s not how it works especially if a woman ended it. Women have too much pride I think more than men at times. They can’t go back on what they have done or said so they try to remind themselves of why they broke up with you in the first place instead of why y’all fell for each other

@yzwoody 4 года назад

Dominique West Chasing has done nothing but blow In my face so I’m willing to try something different I just can’t allow myself to chase somebody who tells me they don’t want me keep some of my dignity

@TheDac12046 4 года назад

Same thing my ex will reach out to me about something then it turns into a cold text about how she's never coming back and moving on but will hold on to the good memories we had. So i just tell her if that's how you truly feel about me then i will leave you alone and not contact you if you ever change your mind let me know and we can talk more. And close it with wish you the best

@hennylo68 4 года назад

This is spot on. I think no contact is mainly just for dating. When it was a serious relationship, sometimes you should break no contact. My ex wanted me to contact her. She broke up with me a few months ago and I went in no contact and she came back 3 weeks later saying she missed me. She told me I didn't even try to fight for her or get her back, so I knew she wanted me to fight her. She then broke up with me a few weeks later because I did something really stupid. I went in no contact but after 30 days I did call her and wr argued a few times but we did eventually get together and she slept over ny place. I think we're taking things really slow and not jumping into anything yet. Hopefully will get back to the lovely dovey couple we used to be. She has said some things like I'll never leave your side, and I can't see myself with no one else and I think we should just be together. Hopefully those are good signs.

@krka5707 4 года назад

No, they moved on already

@Fuzzywuzz71 4 года назад

My ex doesnt talk to me, but she seems happy when I do, until she suddenly goes silent. Other than that she does nothing. I get nothing from her until I talk to her, but even when I do it’s very brief. We had one call a while back and I got the impression she was feeling guilty. But it was positive and she brought up “us” a few times. Nothing too important or special though. I really don’t know what to think. I’ve tried talking to other girls for a while now but it just doesn’t click like it did with her. Just gotta wait for the one I suppose... Or maybe she is the one. It seems out of reach for now, but maybe it’s closer than I realise.

@meziens15 4 года назад

I know that feeling.. it hurts and it is very stressful. It is as if she doesn't have any feeling anymore and you can not do anything about it or change it.

@samopap3000 4 года назад

I’m in the same boat as u man, my ex is dating someone right now so she doesn’t want to talk to me, she’s too happy with him. But u never know..

@Fuzzywuzz71 4 года назад

Linh Nguyen That’s always one of the most painful part, knowing that they prefer someone else’s company over yours.

@chrismcevoy2503 3 года назад

I’m to scared to contact her I want her to reach out to me.

@chrismcevoy2503 3 года назад

I’m also embracing about dumping her because I really didn’t want to do it.

@rsoxx74 4 года назад

Hi clay, just wanted to tell you you are by far the best relationship expert on the Internet. I'm looking for a little feedback. I contacted my ex a few weeks ago after over a month of no contact. She got my message and called me we had a good conversation. Then I called her a couple of days later and even though we had a good conversation she was stand offish. I asked her to have dinner and she said that wasn't a good idea. So I went back to no contact. 11 days later she called me out of the blue Telling me she felt very close to me that day and felt me all around her a. By the end of the conversation she was sending some mixed messages. I'm thinking she felt vulnerable? It's been almost a week since that phone call and I'm thinking of contacting her. Do you think that's a good idea?

@Plainsimple67 Год назад

NO, DO NOT CONTACT ONLY HER NEEDS TO CONTACT YOU, BE LIKE A ROCK, I PROMISE YOU THAT YOU WILL HAVE THE UPPER HAND.

@rsoxx74 Год назад

@@Plainsimple67 Thanks for the reply. I posted that 2 years ago. We dated again and she pulled the same BS she always did. Toxic to the core. Some people aren't worth trying the effort of getting back together.

@Plainsimple67 Год назад

@@rsoxx74 I AM GLAD YOU ARE HAPPY AND MOVING ON!!😉👉

@Lindoronyuni 2 года назад

My ex left it open. Said it’s not like this is the last time we will see each other and the “I know we will end up together”. So tired of sitting here wondering what the heck any of it means. I left her, she was still in love with an ex. I left her and she went running back to her ex. And honestly I cut all communication because I don’t want her confused and I truly want her happy, even if it isn’t with me. But she keeps one foot in the door, has for awhile so now not allowing contact

@Plainsimple67 Год назад

FORGET HER BROTHER, NEVER TAKE OR BE A SECOND CHOICE, EEVVVEEERRR!!!

@wasapal1 4 года назад

Clays breakdown of breakups and what to look out for and how to behave is bang on he's helped me in my situation

@joeyfernandez9892 4 года назад

Same fam

@jenniferbrooksbank5023 4 года назад

I hope he can help me

@jenniferbrooksbank5023 4 года назад

@@andrewpaul7884 I really do want him back, I don't need him back. I just don't get why after 5 years he wants to tell me how happy he is with someone. That I should move on. Then in the next breath how happy I make him, that I should just leave it there and a door open for the future. Can't help but feel I m second best.

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Glad to hear that our videos have helped you, Vader.

@michaeljackson7361 4 года назад

Mine was a narcissist she did it for a powerstroke as she was discarding me I dumped her ass if she ever calls me I will not answer I will not respond to any of your texts she might look for me in someone else she know she won't find me there. Don't ever go back to someone who dumped you and treat you like s***. Go no contact and don't look back. Any response to her would be a source of supply.any response is a source of supply a positive or negative response. If you talk you lose. She will not respond back to you and leave you hanging. It's a play for power and control. At this point you have the power you have your power don't give it up. She wants to suck you back down again. Don't let her. Peace

@jackgoodings 4 года назад

Before you contact them, before you "think that you should contact them", take a seriously long and hard look at whether this is a trauma bonded situation

@rattymadi 3 года назад

how do you know?

@chrismcevoy2503 3 года назад

My ex-girlfriend Tracci Ludwick won’t contact me because she’s stuck up and she wants to be the prize and me the pursuer.

@Talkwithshida 4 года назад

He literally ask me to call him or want me to call him while being in a relationship I don’t get it

@brettming9015 3 года назад

My ex will text me now and then and say that she always texts me first. She will say she feels like she is bothering me when she texts. Nothing could be further from the truth. We have been apart a year and a half but something is keeping her close. Still she will wonder why I dont reach out more. I just kind of go with the vibe I get. I love her more than anything and really want to be with her for life. Just kind of scared I think.

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Hi Brett, so what stops you from initiating a conversation with her?

@brettming9015 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews Hi Clay. I do sometimes. I'm just trying to feel the vibe from her mostly. I've invited her to things from coffee to movies and she will say she will think about it. I'm praying about it constantly and holding on to hope. I miss her and think of her everyday. Just looking for a big sign from her

@brettming9015 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews Hi Clay. She let me treat her to lunch today and after work she bought a tea and brought me one and calls me on her lunch breaks!

@wasapal1 4 года назад

First comment love you clay xx

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

🎉

@midnight6sf 4 года назад

Hey so my ex and I broke up back in February and everything was cool for about 2 weeks after until we started getting into some bad arguments. We were assholes to each other and I was meaning to be but I was. I was still hurt and it came out sometimes, same for her I presume. We havent really spoke to each other outside of work and when we talked at work it was always work related, no small talk. But recently she started being more friendly with me, joking around with me at work, and just playing kind of like we used to. It's been a couple of months since we've had a moment like that and I'm wondering if I should contact her. She does have some low self esteem issues and it sometimes keeps her from doing certain things that she wants to do so I understand if that might be why she wont contact me. I just want to know if I should initiate contact now that things have kind of smoothsd out between us a bit or wait a bit longer

@Plainsimple67 Год назад

WAIT, NO CONTACT!

@MTG9878 4 года назад

How would we know anything about there life if there is no contact?

@Handsoffsherrif 4 года назад

That's the whole point, mistery. Mistery causes someone to think bout what you're doing and makes them miss you.

@kathyswann1088 4 года назад

LDR for 3 years He had started on dating sites 6 months ago, was still in contact with me. Started dating a wealthy woman from site two months later I found out they are engaged yet he tells me he is still open range. Occasionally still calls me. I am totally confused 🤷‍♀️

@otakukj 3 года назад

I would be more willing to reach out if she would not seem so busy. I do think she likes talking to me but one of the main issues we had in our relationship was about her priorities. If she can't make me more of a priority in her life, I kind of don't see the point to reach out. Of course I miss her and I would love to be back together but at the same time, there needs to be equal give and take. I'm too much of a giver, that's what I learned from this break up.

@Plainsimple67 Год назад

I AM IN YOUR EXACT SHOES, THERE'S IS NO WAY IN HAILE THAT A PERSON DOESN'T HAVE ONE TO TWO OURS OF HER WEEK DEDICATED TO A PERSON SHE REALLY WANTS TO SEE. IT'S ALL A B.S. EXCUSE, CUT COMPLETE CONTACT PERIOD, IF THEY HAVE NO VALUE FOR YOU TO SEE YOU, THAT MEANS SOMETHING MORE IS TAKING PLACE BEHIND THE SEENS. Women are like your shadow, You can never catch your shadow if you Chase it, But when you walk away your shadow always follows you.😉👉

@jenniferbrooksbank5023 4 года назад

Another great video

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Thanks again!

@angelicacendejas800 4 года назад

I was always the begger and calling and pleading the 9 yards and he always tell me wht i didn't want to hear i was always trying he he reject me and he come back when he wanted and i take him back regardless and it went on for 6 yrs 2 kids now got merried regardless and i felt i had enough he control everything and if it didn't go his way it was no good now divorced 7 months WHAT no no NC RS he sends mix signals like imojis and stops i dont understand help

@samopap3000 4 года назад

Looks like u had a rough relationship, I think u too nice to him, just let him go because guy like him no girls will like. He can only control u because u too nice and have his kids. Stay strong and get busy with life and improve yourself, if u did nothing wrong then trust in yourself and stay No contact until he comes crawling back. Don’t answer his phone right away, wait a few days and answer him like as if he was your regular friend. When you can take care your own self and love yourself you will attract him and other people out there as well. But this time if he comes back u should make a deal with him and never be soft to him. Remember there’s always a light at the end of a tunnel so work on yourself.

@angelicacendejas800 4 года назад

@@samopap3000 thank you

@АнастасияСтихийная 4 года назад

why does my ex look at my instagram stories, even though he is in repound relationship? is he trying to provocate me?

@michaeljackson7361 4 года назад

Possibly or maybe he's not happy in his new rebound. They want a reaction out of you he's fishing for a response. They aren't worth it

@TheDac12046 4 года назад

Sounds likemy ex we've been broken uo for almost two months she'll post selfies wearing one of my t shirts she took when we were together then take the pictures down a day or two later and she said she returned all my shirts and sweat shirts. She still watches my story on Facebook she also tagged my sister in a post about a winery we visited when we went camping with my family. She says she's never coming back and moving on but she's still friends with me and my family on Facebook. I think her ego is really high right now and trying to get a reaction out of me

@michaeljackson7361 4 года назад

@@TheDac12046 yep. Hard to move on when she's always popping up in front of you. I would snooze her for 30 days if not block her. My x popped up on FB liking a post of mine. She been gone 20 years. I blocked her immediately. She had taken me to the cleaners. Peace

@TheDac12046 4 года назад

@@michaeljackson7361 i did that the other day she posted a meme thing on her wall i think directed towards me and in this social group she was posting selfies wearing one of my shirts she said she returned when she moved out. I'm much happier and in a better place mentally working on myself. Watching her act out of character now then when we were together just makes me more in power and she'll have to earn me back

@isaiah8939 4 года назад

Such a calm aura

@mrnerum 4 года назад

What if you are blocked? what do you do then, i dont feel like contacter her by using other platforms??

@vanessasesi3405 4 года назад

Great video so far.would look at the others in a much free time.I quess what might work for some might not work for others.for me after two and a half months after the breakup he now visits my status and unmuted me.I haven't contacted him .not doing the no contact. I still feel even though Clay you might be right in some things I still feel for a man who has been divorced I should let him really do the contacting. He ended the relationship in less than two weeks after we met. Want to really give space.

@danielle9079 4 года назад

What does an ex mean if they say they don’t want to give false hope? (But agree to meet up)

@KingOfNeptune_ 4 года назад

It means he want to take things slow, without the drama, go out with him and just have a good time like in the old days (he also wants to bang you if I'm being honest) P.S: I just saw a comment of you on coach lee channel 😂

@jameswayne1487 4 года назад

My ex GF also told me the same after we’ve met. She planned to invite me to come over to her place sometime then after that she said she doesnt want to send me a wrong messgae when I actually dont have any plans on getting her back. I got shocked like where is this coming from? I will understand if i started showing her some motives that i want to get her back but i was not. So i just said, no worries i am totally moved on. I really dont get it.

@anamelsam4219 2 года назад

I’m waiting for him, but he an shy person

@ClayAndrews 2 года назад

Hi @Ana, If you'll assess your emotional readiness, will you be okay to initiate contact with him? :-)

@Criggs 4 года назад

RU-vid algorithm trying to make me break no contact. Not today! Nice vid though.

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Glad to hear that you remained strong in doing Active No Contact. :-)

@bethelbethlehem3001 4 года назад

Sir, If he cheated on me and lied to me. I told him that it was my last contact to him. Now, will I contact him first? I can see that he os waiting for me to talk to him.

@fleetingfootnotes9133 3 года назад

You also put up that boundary - the last contact. You contact him and you lower your standards. And for whom? A liar and a cheat? Why bring yourself down to that level?

@weirdwolf888 4 года назад

If pride or embarrassment stops them contacting you, you're not significant enough to them, for them to push through that - meaning more problems down the line. *If they're not contacting you - they don't want you **_enough_** !* I learned this the hard way.

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

It sounds like your experience had taught you in handling different situations as well.

@tinamkrkmn 3 года назад

That's not what no contact is about. Educate yourself. Richeous and powerful is not what that is about.

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Hi Tinamarie ADVM, we'd love to hear about your concept of No Contact? ;-)

@tinamkrkmn 3 года назад

No contact gives both parties a break. It also let's the dumper miss you. While working on your self during time apart. It gives the dumper a chance to rethink what made him want the break-up. He will not hear from you his bad thoughts get replaced with what they miss about you and if your hounding him. They don't get those feelings when being hounded. But once you give them a break and they start to miss you. THEY VALUE WHAT THEY LOST. has nothing to do with being richeous. Its all about resetting their negative thoughts to positive ones.

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Good insight. You may also want to check our other video for further clarity >>> ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5bflqHTR8ds.html

@brianstoops7186 4 года назад

I'm blocked on all platforms!!

@brianstoops7186 4 года назад

@@bellat8162 I'm 2 months

@donkndave7811 4 года назад

It's a sure clue they want you to contact them! Do it and feel their wrath. Bahaha! :) I'm on 75 days of NC and being blocked, too. Seriously, dont do it. Move on if and when you can.

@chrismcevoy2503 3 года назад

I think it’s also okay for the dumpee to contact the dumper.

@mizzcrazygal 4 года назад

i unblocked my ex i think it was a mistake cus i was in 30 days no contact, have i ruined it?

@59977012 4 года назад

No.

@yzwoody 4 года назад

As long as you didn’t reach out you haven’t ruined anything all you did was create an avenue for it to happen but do not put your life on hold otherwise you have ruined it

@underclassh3r058 4 года назад

I did the same thing a week ago I thought the same thing but I did not reach out at all. Like the replies to your comment said, I created a avenue for them to reach out if they choose to contact me and it was a subtle way of letting her know I'm done being mad and I'm over it. Still not putting my life on hold for her though. I'll let the universe work it out by not interfering with it

@mizzcrazygal 4 года назад

@@yzwoody i think itve made it easy for him tho, he must think oh shes missing me so thats why shes unblocked me. before he had my name on his bio but as soon as i unblocked him he took it off, so he playing mind games.

@leahpasion7738 4 года назад

My ex left me with another woman .After he left me ,he message me telling me he regret leaving me.He say he still loves me but he can’t be with me.I accept the breakup and working on myself.After a year of breakup last March he message me that his girlfriend has a breast cancer.He tell me that he still want to see me..

@Calida2308 4 года назад

Clay.. He Verbally abused n insulted me drunk texted in March.. After ignoring him for 1 month. He got with someone else 3 days after dumping me n wanted to keep me somehow in his life. After all the things he called me.. I shouldn't care for him. But I do. If I contact him to for a peaceful reconciliation.. Will this makes me low valued?

@Calida2308 4 года назад

@Murphy Jennifer nop

@Calida2308 4 года назад

@Murphy Jennifer Spam somewhere else