Yup, I chased and it pushed her further away, it’s degrading actually. I texted her last night, I know she was in the arms of her new man, I told her I love her and miss her, and got no response. That will be my last contact with her. She cheated on me with another man and I still chased her trying to get her to change her mind and come back to me. Don’t do it, let them go, save your dignity and move on.
it really is disrespectful and humilating kinda shows how they don't value us. The good thing is we are doing suppin about this nasty feel instead of being chasing simps. Best of luck
I did it too. Then I gave up & 2 months later he's back. You never know. If u still love her & would give her another chance, if she comes back, make sure u can trust her again bc not trusting her will only make the relationship worse. I've experienced that before & getting back together after that was the worse decision I ever made. I was the one that got cheated on & took him back & bc I didn't trust him anymore it only made things worse. Good luck to you in wherever life takes you!
My ex and me at the stage where he is giving short answers and im the one trying to start convos and make jokes... But now after watching this im going to step back and let him come to me, if he wants to talk then he can come to me... Im tired of trying and only getting an "ok" or "cool", sounds like im talking to my teenage son, basically a brick wall 🤦🏼♀️
I couldn't care less about what my ex feels or does. I like these videos and this is a perfect timing. If an ex did you dirty cheated on you and dumped you for another never blame yourself, it's their fault and will meet their karma soon.
They are probably already meeting their karma with the one they cheated with you on, and dumped you for. "What goes around, comes around"! I recently found out my ex is unhappy with her monkey-brancing new partner. And many of the relationship gurus tell us we should be civil and on our best behavior if they want to get back together with us. HELLO! If YOU allow them to get back in YOUR life, is what the gurus should be focused on, rather then making them feel comfortable. Did they make you feel comfortable when they cheated on you and kicked you to the curb? Let's get some perspective!
@@ericgeorge6564 this is so true. I realized three months ago that I was dealing with a narcissistic man, all the hell he put me through. Until then when I was in a relationship about a year ago a time like now we had broken up, I did not know the narcissistic concept. He treated me so badly. Believe me karma is real coz my ex always lived in karma and even after the break he got a karma and is continuing to receive karma. Cheating on me and bringing in the woman he cheated on me with a week after breakup, 6 months pregnant. I left and never looked back. Thriving and healed.
We all get abit excited, when we're in contact with our ex's again. But see this period as NC, it's a opportunity to calm your anxiety and whatever else. So if and when they does get back in contact with you, you're alot calmer. Best to just give them the space, for whatever reason they decided ATM , they're not gonna speak with you or they're not ready to ,just continue to focus on you for now
Honestly the best advice on RU-vid ! The other videos I watched made me feel like I had to “act” a certain way and it always felt like I was playing pretend and I wasn’t comfortable. Your information is great for all of us who want an actual emotional connection instead of playing games
Yes, it's very interesting, because in speaking to my ex I definitely think "Okay, which coaches advice can I use here?" LOL, and quite honestly, Clay's advice works best for my partner and I who are both ENFPs - we are feelers, we are romantics, we aren't game-players, we are sensitive, and we just want to be loved! I very much appreciate Clay's advice, it's just so real and true to the heart.
Wow what a difference a month makes. When I first watched this we were interacting but then he would stop. Now, we're moving towards each other, I am moving to the same cit, even same apartment building. He is chasing me now. Things are good. It's beautiful and I'm pretty sure I'm carrying his child. Thank you so much, Clay, for yhe videos, for what to do to get closer and most importantly for what not to do. And to just relax, let things happen naturally and organically, and basically get out of my own way.
@@imajifaruna5769 recently I told my ex I miss her and love her after a no contact of couple of months, it's been more than a year I broke up with her. I told her I'll see her soon. But we stay in different cities. I'm going to her town to restart my career next week. She's not engaging in conversation. Most of her replies are like "ok" or "thanks" even when she said me to inform her before I go to see her and misses and loves me. I'm sure she's talking to her rebound and not engaging with me.
I agree. If anything and you do reach out to them. You apologize or acknowledge something you had fault in that may have hurt them. And if they still decide not to respond or ignore you ,I think you leave it at that. As my mum would say. "You can lead a horse to water ,but you can't make it drink".
Partly correct. A woman can only diminish you as a man if you don't have enough self love. Self love is key... however knowing you made some mistakes that you regret and trying to make amends does not diminish you as a man. In fact, I call it manning-up!
Imma go do. I'm not gonna force him to talk when he is ready I'm here. He wants me he can come to me. Now I feel dumb for sending the msgs. I love him I will wait. Updates in months ❤
My ex refuses to talk to me. Moved out of state with his rebound. I feel like I didn’t matter to him AT ALL. We were together 3 years, living together for 2.5.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened, Jen. What you feel is valid but have to learn to accept that situation may be difference both of you are not in a relationship. I hope you'll take the time to heal from the breakup as well.
Hi Clay! My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago (on New Year's Eve) after a prior "break" period that lasted two weeks. Unfortunately, they told me even though they love me they can't be in a relationship right now and are not able to give me what I need etc. They feel they need time to get their shit together etc... -They also admit they're an emotionally constipated person, not that talkative in general nor demonstrative-. So we broke up, I got dumped and friendzoned (they wanted to keep contact as friends and not lose me) which I ended up agreeing to. We talked for a week later as "friends" but it was awkward the convos we had (coming from them not me) and then they ghosted me all of a sudden! We still have each other on social media, they like some of my posts occasionally. All I know for a fact they still have feelings for me. Since then, I have been applying the No Contact rule for more than 2 weeks... I really want them back and I don't know what to do next..Thanks!
@@ClayAndrews Thanks Clay! Is it touched on the in Ex-Solution Course by any chance? I've been wanting to check it out and it is a bit more financially feasible at the moment. Thanks!
Not really I mean for me wrong timi g upset keeps insisting u know but really I do all the work they do northing I'm tired need to breath in a monuments space and time its my time and is very shellfish and I hate it want mine and my time for me. Yes yes yes and sabotages as well in study intusts needs to stop!!!!!!! bad vibes
So what advice would you give on texting an ex who broke up with you 5 days ago, accidentally "butt dialed" you on facetime 2 days after the breakup for a second, but the day of the breakup and the day after, I called her a tremendous amount of times without an answer, however she texted me? Sorry if this scenerio is all over the place; i'm willing to rekindle the relationship and not let pride take control. I've applied no contact for 4 straight days now, but for some reason, feel the need to explain that I wasn't in the right emotional state after the breakup, that I clerly understand where and why things went downhill, that I am in fact glad they made that decision because it has helped me gain valuable insight into my flaws and improvements? Any feedback is immensely appreciated coach or anyone
Xmenlifestyle, if you broke up with them, you should contact them. If they broke up with you, it's up to them to contact you. Don't plead and Don't beg bcse it makes you look weak. Let them make the first move if they left you. If it's only been 5 days, give it time.
i feel like i should try to be someone else because im not good enough. being not good enough is why mankind invented things such as cars and roads to get from point a to point b. being good will get me from purgatory to heaven point a to point b and you dont want to be in purgatory because of the bad consequences. also sometimes we cannot avoid suffering we can only choose the suffering that we would prefer over the other suffering,
My ex sent me a text wanted to ask me a question, she says she misses me and I’m all she thinks of , she doesn’t know why she went to this new guy but she shouldn’t be talking to me and she doesn’t want to try with me and she just had a question.. wth , am I being chased and then she changes her mind or is she just playing games .. she does this every month but when I do see someone and she sees it on social media she gets jealous and asks if it’s over and I’m moving on.. I never answered but wth is she doing
She wants your validation: the sec she sees you are still interested in her, she moves away, taking you for granted. do not do that, stay silent and move on with your life. You 'll either find a better woman, or she 'll run back begging. It is up to you what to do next. Careful with ex-es.
Thanks for sharing. I understand that you may feel confused and so with your ex. Breakups are never easy, just like you, she is also struggling emotionally. It's quite obvious that she may still have feelings for you but also trying to guard herself up. That's what we call the test drive phase.
So my ex says she loves me and is in love with me I've begged and pleaded she's distant hot and cold sometimes when we get off the phone I say I love her she says it back and then sometimes she just says I know. Sometimes she kisses me and sometimes she rejects it. Says she's putting her guard up cuz shes worried she will get hurt says she says how our relationship was in the past and now sees how it's gonna be in the future but I'm willing to change. I've been very jealous lately idk what to do to get her to want me back. Could use some feedback
I got a story my ex-girlfriend told me if we would ever to break up I would tell you that I had a new boyfriend to make you chase me to see how much you cared and I told her well that's a chickenshit thing to do and she's all know that I would tell you that I was just kidding to see how much are you truly like to me really!?
Why would they come back after acting like they wanted the rebound. Than they want to see you and than only to go back to acting like they don't want a relationship?
Done that for 6 months soon to be ex wife comes on wants to talk I talk she pulls back any foot forward is 50 back and no has gone silent doesn't even check to see if I want my kids. Mother just died Feb 14th asks how im doing little cry enoji and I tell her she hasn't checked in 4 days we were married 20 years
What if I neglected them , that’s why she broke up with me , ( we dated for 9 months ) but she said she still has feelings for me , but she said she still wants to friends & she isn’t ready for a relationship rn . Do I do no contact do keep texting her ?? What do I do ?? Thank you !!
omg, thanks for the information... I get mixed signals from my ex who I love, she initiated the breakup but we were both sad. but she gave me mixed signals the way she looks at me when we meet in person, when she is drunk she says it was amazing the time we spend on the same day, or asking me if I want contact with her, or tell me, dear, :D which she doesn't say dear to her exes, she responded quickly like 2 min she wasn't like it before, but when I say let's get back she says no a strong no but won't say she has no feelings she says I'm not looking for a relationship or date anyone.what should i do ?
Hi Armann, It sounds like your ex is at the test drive phase. We usually recommend focusing on working on the advanced Relational Skills and focus on building a positive connection. In that way, you are building her confidence back towards the relationship. We talk more about this inside the Ex Solution Program. :-)
@@ClayAndrews hi again , ,y ex reached out said she wants to hang out after 3 times telling me she don't want to meet me , we had great time so,the day after she texted me and said she likes me and feel attracted so we meet again and we had some rules like this is not getting back just start dating and we are allowed to date others and so, like all other dating times. so I slept with her last night but she wasn't really interested that me sleep over so I came back home... i don't know what to do , should I lose hope ? ty
Me and my ex are on a clean slate now but we never really went into no contact I know she still is in love with me but is scared to commit should I start distancing myself?
It sounds like your ex is still at the Test Drive phase. It is understandable for her to guard herself up as she may fear that getting back together may lead to the same dynamics of the old relationship.
@@ClayAndrews she is interested in getting back together but she’s also interested in another person who is on the other side of the u.s she’s in cali and he’s in Chicago
Me and my fiancé been separated for a couple months lived together but still doing everything together and still having intimacy… 6 weeks ago found out my ex has a new friend with benefits, so the last couple weeks I’ve been jealous angry and mean I’m doing petty stuff because of the situation… any advice ???
Damn bro I have the same situation I’ve been with my girl (ex) for 5 YEARS I dedicated my entire life to her and Litreally and I mean literally one day she turned around and said she can’t do it a week later she returns and I find out she cheated that’s where she was for the week and now I’ve left she hasn’t even tried talking to me or nothing I’m just having to face the pain and hope it goes man :/
My ex said numerous times I didn’t fight for her in the relationship so I had no problem chasing for about 9 days after the breakup. Let her know I did fight. Been NC for 16 days now. Let’s see what happens. (Personally don’t care if she comes back I’m just intrigued to know if NC works)
Hi Anthony, I'm sorry to hear about what happened between the two of you. Remember that the main goal of doing Active No Contact is not to magically make our ex get back to us. But it is about having the time and space to heal, reconnect with our selves and work on the Advanced Relational Skills. That is something that we have to debunk when it comes to the idea of doing No Contact, other's thought that it would be the trick to get someone back.
@@ClayAndrews You’re right buddy. I did all the cliche stuff. Worked out, focussed on work etc. I feel great! Still some moments in the day where I’ll get a pain in my chest when a song plays of hers or something. Other than that, life’s good!
my ex and i broke up 7months ago for the second time. I did many things wrong in the relationship and in the past 7 months i worked so hard on myself. i've lost 20kg, did meditation and worked on my anger issues. I tried texting her last week and asked her how she was doing. got a standard answer and she stopped talking. I understand that she is hurt and cold. But i just want to show her how much i have improved and that i am on a higher lvl now. i said to her that i understand that talking to me might be akward but it doesnt have to. that she can just tell me things. But i had no answer
Hey Sasscher, what you are going through is truly understandable. Remember that getting back together is a process. Reaching out to our ex after doing no contact is just an opportunity for us to start applying what we have prepared for during Active No Contact period. Both of you will still go through a separate stages. :-) have you checked our Ex Solution Program? We talked about those in details.
@@ClayAndrews I bought the connect and commit online books. I still feel the urge to try and call her and tell her everything i feel.. but that is not a good idea..
@Unbounded Creator We got back together, but after a while i was the one ending the relationship. we had to much diffrent interests after all. 2weeks after the breakup i met a girl who has everything i want and like. But its a long distance relationship.. It's not easy, but i grew much more mature and if it works i'm happy. if it won't, atleast we tried
Wonder if you were mean to your ex and you were the one that made it that you got into argument you're not supposed to beg or plead I mean yes I did Apologize been doing no contact now for almost 2 months but the argument was my fault so of course I was going to beg or plead
he acted like he wanted me back so bad but ever since we hung out for the first time in 10 months since we broke up hes been acting weird.. i am just giving him space now i guess
