How To Get Your Ex To Initiate Contact With You

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Clay Andrews discusses how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.
More info on the Ex Solution Program: modernlove.life/esp
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This video is about how to get your ex to text you or call you first. After all, it can be a huge help and ease your anxious mind to know that your ex actually wants to be in contact with you. It difficult dealing with all the lingering doubts that you may have about whether they are just being nice or whether they actually want to be in contact with you.
We will also be reverse engineering what needs to be in place for your ex to contact you first. This may not necessarily be as exciting as using reverse psychology or mind games, but this is what you actually need to have in place if you want your ex to take the initiative with you. So if you put these elements in place, you are creating the optimal context for your ex to take the lead and actually text or call you first in a dynamic. It's not necessarily going to be easy, but it's what you need to do for this to happen.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

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Опубликовано:

30 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 64

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hey there, beautiful and amazing person. Thank you for watching this video. I hope you're having a great day, and I hope you're doing okay with everything happening in the world this year. Please take care of yourself. The world needs people like you out there.

@leoluv729 4 года назад

Can you please tell me how to book a one on one session to explain my unique situation because you can definitely make a video on it because i haven't fought any videos on my unique session please it would help? Back in October i told them not to contact me again which i shouldn't have but i need to tell you why but they did contact me once a month later..and then when covid in March or april but that was it. Please help..

@jketfield 4 года назад

Clay Andrews I'd be so happy to have her back

@melindakube1705 Год назад

I love your videos Clay. You are just so real about things. I'd love to know more about what would work better for me and my situation. I thought about purchasing your Ex Solution but since financially I can't do that AND do a one on one with you...wondering which is going to do more help. Broke up 7 months ago, he ended things. Together 1.5 yrs I'm 64, he's 66. Had a good relationship, no arguing, no cheating. Issue was basically my emotions. Grieving from the loss of my husband, depression, not wanting to go out much. He said he just couldn't handle it. He said he still loved me but it was just too much.

@kitaradepena6753 4 года назад

Hey clay I just wanna say your videos help me a whole lot

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Thank you, Kitara. :-) Glad that our videos helped you a lot.

@norswil8763 2 месяца назад

🤔 They dump you… but you need them to feel like it’s a benefit to connect and chat? How does this happen? They literally cut you out of their life.

@raya-1 4 года назад

What if "cleaning it up" makes things worse and makes them feel like you're manipulating them? I really just wanted to clear things out but it leads to more complex conversations which in turn stresses us both.

@Babyxtoy 4 года назад

Love you clay! You’re an angel! Definitely helped! I needed to hear all of your wonderful advise & suggestions! Forever greatful for you !🖤😩😭

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

You are so welcome! :-) Glad that our videos had resonated with you. Don't forget to subscribe to our channel as well.

@mista3618 4 года назад

What if she is hurt by me and is trying to forget about me so that she doesn’t have to deal with being hurt and face her feelings or anything like that

@alizeetaylor847 4 года назад

He contacted me on Mother’s Day however I didn’t contact him on Father’s Day. He’s a narcissist and he use my energy to accomplish his next supply. I’ve gone no contact cause he’s still lying and we’re not even together. He sends mix emotions. What to do it’s like if I don’t contact he won’t contact. It’s a game. I notice you speak on regular people not people with disorders

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Alizee, the reason why we don't speak about people with disorder is because they have to work with a licensed professional. That is where the boundaries with come in between a life coach and a psychologist/psychiatrist.

@CTLatteberry 4 года назад

Clay Andrews 😂😂😂 seriously, if they have a mental issue move on

@anahitakhormaee9351 4 года назад

What if he said really bad things that made me boke up with him I told him why don't you take me out and suddenly he told me I don't want to marry you and I don't want a deep relationship and said if you can't be in relationship like this break up and I broke up with him It's been 3weeks and he didn't contacting me

@sherwinlopez1468 2 года назад

Hi clay, my ex an I was in a relationship for 12 yrs best time of our life for both of us. but i did something hurtfull ,so we done over a year now .at time we comunicated now an then . Lately she started invited me for lunch , our relationship had high chemistry , connection an lots of love wth each other even still . But she dose try to hide her feelin but dont last lolol . We dose talk about nearly everything dat goin in her life when we meet up ,I dose NC when acts up for weeks an she text to say wats up or wat is the menu lolo . But now she tellin me to move on an forget bout her live my life ..how can I proceed wth this goin forward ...clay

@alizeetaylor847 4 года назад

Oh ok. So basically I’m not what he wants anymore. Cause the no contact isn’t working he doesn’t care. He was really only using me???

@Marneezyisshort 4 года назад

What if you are able to re-establish the emotional connection, but you will be in a different city for the next month? Will my new connection get destroyed?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

No it wont' because what will matter is the quality of of the connect. But whether you will be in a different city or not, you still have to communicate that with your ex to know what does he or she thinks about it. Will your transfer be permanent or just temporary?

@jamesg2609 4 года назад

Great video.. my ex broke up with me 8 months ago. I have been waiting for her to initiate contact..did the no contact for months. I guess hell will freeze over first before any contact from her. What do I do now ?

@Daryl-1 4 года назад

Move on with your life that’s the best thing for you to do and meet someone that will truly love you

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi James, with Active No Contact, we advocate the active approach instead of waiting for our ex to contact us. If you have worked on the Advanced Relational Skills that we talk about inside the Ex Solution Program, and is emotionally ready to contact her, you may test the waters by initiating contact instead of waiting for her.

@ericcoggins128 4 года назад

Nice video clay however when I text my ex she'll reply rather quickly but she's not initiating at the moment.

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Eric, what you are going through is normal. Since we are in the position of wanting our ex back, we have to be okay whether they initiate contact or not. but instead focus on the quality regardless of who imitated the conversation.

@brandonhogan1190 4 года назад

Hey my ex and I broke up almost 4 months ago we were in love dreaming of life together even though we’re young. Then all the sudden a year and a half relationship done at the drop of a hat. We did hit a rough spot when I went off to college and she still in high school but we were still so strong in my eyes. Now she dosnt want one thing to do with me treating me as if I did something horrible. It still hurts everyday and to her her life’s better and she’s hanging out with her friends posting all the time. Any words??

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Brandon, I'm not really sure what caused the breakup between you and your ex. What caused her to put her reactance up aside from the reason that you went to college?

@brandonhogan1190 4 года назад

Clay Andrews it seemed to change everytime I tried to ask going from her saying I was missing out on college by after a couple times asking she deserved better she also said little things changed and the timing just wasn’t right at first then I begged and pleaded making her get mad and upset when she said she deserved better

@tanmingjie402 4 года назад

thank you for this video! ex and i reconnected after nc. the first outreach went well (keeping it friendly for now, nothing flirty just yet), she keeps the conversation going by asking questions. however, she takes days to respond (she apologised and explained that she has been swarmed by work). i can empathise with that and it's been two weeks since we had spoken. i am grateful to hear from her, but a part of me is feeling anxious too. Is this a positive pullback? am i on the right track?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

it may be a positive pull back if there's a different reason aside from being busy at work but if she is truly busy at work, that is something that we have to trust with. :-)

@toddspraker8916 6 месяцев назад

Y wife is apprehensive because she is scared that I will revert back to how it was before. She is speaking to me but wants to take it very slow. No "dating" she said but we could hang out and have dinner and stuff. Nothing physical, no making out, ect. I told her I'm fine with that. After dinner and a movie the other day we had an argument and she pulled back a bit but I told her it was good. We both needed to get it out. We spoke the next day and apologized. She is always responsive when I call or text. Crossing my fingers... all is going well. I have made many positive changes and have my self esteem and confidence back and still moving forward. Hoping for the best.

@shawntee.8461 3 года назад

She´s in a rebound, has contacted me a couple of times, but still pulls back. As well she does when I have contacted her, the conversation goes really well and starts flowing, but ends up pulling back.

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Hi Martin, that type of dynamics in the interaction is normal. It could be that your ex is at the Test Drive phase that why she has the tendency to pull back as well. If you are interested to learn more on how to navigate the different phases, you can check the Ex Solution Program at www.modernlove.life/esp

@leoluv729 4 года назад

How to book a 1 on 1 session with you i have a unique situation to explain that's not addressed in any video scenarios?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi there, you can check our coaching services over here >> modernlove.life/coaching

@leoluv729 4 года назад

@clayandrews thank you.

@toms81162 4 года назад

Funny....This video comes out when I reached my last straw with her. Today she texts me pictures of her back deck that was removed. Have no idea what that means but at least she contacted me.

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Sounds like a progress you have there, Tom. :-)

@CharlesFerraro 4 года назад

Be sure to set a date with her now! Also I hope you didn’t reply too fast...

@toms81162 4 года назад

@@ClayAndrews we will see. I dont know if she was bored or she wanted to get me talking.

@bethelbethlehem3001 4 года назад

👌👌👌👌❤️❤️

@wingardiumleviosa5514 4 года назад

I have a restraining order against my ex. He violated it by messaging me from a fake account and stupid me called him on it before I gave my phone to police so he was able to deactivate the account so police couldn’t find the IP address.

@sydneeball4077 4 года назад

You’re on the wrong channel

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. How would you like to move forward given the situation between you and your ex?

@hprandomvideos1621 4 года назад

Its been 3 months of no contact. And she blocked me in all social media.. what to do?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi HP, It seems like your ex's wall of reactance is still up. but aside from social media, do you have any other means to contact her?

@hprandomvideos1621 4 года назад

@@ClayAndrews were an LDR couple if i contacted her she blocked me.. that is why i cant contact her even cellphone or whatever social media platform. Im afraid if i contacted her she blocked me.. that is why its been 3 months of no contact.. is their a chance?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

But do you know her address? Can you send your ex a physical letter. It could be an option as well.

@jonerickcoronel742 3 года назад

I'm sure she's feeling the guilt. We went back to texting terms for a week. Even met and hang out. 2 days ago she called me and we're on video call for 4 hours. It went smooth and light, she seemed very positive and happy talking to me, so was I. After we hang up, she texted me "I'm happy to have a long call will you again. I know I've trampled on your feelings. Please let me know if I should stay away. Thank you and Good night" I was clueless why she said that because the connection was very positive. So I just said "I'm happy as well. Thank you, I had a great time. Good night" Then... She vanished... I'm suspecting her avoidant attachment style is kicking in. Will it be a good move if I let her know or make her feel that she doesn't have to feel that way. Should I initiate contact and tell her this? Will it be a good move? How do I go about this? Thank you.

@georginabrigs1891 3 года назад

Or either she's seeking for your attention. Girls are somehow like that. Or she wants to be sure about your feelings for her. Or she wants you to open up more how you feel about her so she doesnt want to be confused because maybe she wants the the 2 of you to be back again. Could also be

@jonerickcoronel742 3 года назад

@@georginabrigs1891 That is the hope, that she wanted us back together. But I don't want to rush it. If ever, I want us both to take it slowly. Thank you for replying to my comment. ❤️

@georginabrigs1891 3 года назад

@@jonerickcoronel742 yeah. Same here. If ever. But i dont expect us to be back again. Afterall both of you learned from your mistakes somehow and could make your relationship stronger. Good luck

@daisylove422 2 года назад

What ever happened with things?

@jonerickcoronel742 2 года назад

@@daisylove422 LOL.. We constantly chatted after some time then she became cold again.😆 Went on No contact again and focused more on self growth, and now I'm over her. She greeted me on my birthday, Christmas and New Year. I just thanked her for those greetings but that's just it didn't bother figuring out what her greetings meant. She's a mess and I totally understand now that she is unhealthy for me. Kept myself busy working on myself, physically and mentally and realized all the crazy stuff I did and said about my feelings for her, I CRINGE even now that I'm reading my original comment on this video!😆 Whatever your situation is right now. Believe me, THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT AND THAT WAY OUT IS "YOU" Focus on yourself and you'll even be thankful that the relationship didn't work out.