Don't Let Your Past Define You | Padmaja | Women Empowerment | Social Change | Josh Talks 

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Still, in our country, we hesitate to talk about toxic parenting.. It's time to open up and call out this cruelty because children r the future of our nation..

Abusive mothers are very common & mostly the victims are girl childs. This is a social issue but sadly nobody talks about it.

Every kid needs a mother but every mother doesn't deserve a kid

My mom was an angel , her whole life revolved around us 6 children . We are three daughters ,3 sons. But she never differentiated between boys and girls. She is no more . I thank God for such a kind ,most loving mother

Toxic parenting is very under talked topic ... I sympathize with her

Everyone has a story, but not everyone take risk to change their End of Story with Glory! So inspiring and Powerful Padmaja ❤

My mom was the same kind, abusive like hell. I couldn’t shed a drop of tear , totally numb when I saw her lifeless body but felt immensely FREE from her forever. Thanks for sharing your story.

There are a lot of psychopathic parents in the society and they get away because they show a totally different face to the society.

The school tried to make me sacrifice my 10 year old daughter because of a note she wrote to a boy. My daughter was so afraid to tell me. The teachers traumatized her by passing the note among themselves at lunch time in front of my daughter and whispering while looking at my daughter. Then they sent a copy of the note home for me to read and acknowledge. I wrote back saying “Thank you very much for sharing this with me. As Sarah’s mother I will put this in our family scrapbook and in ten years from now I’m certain we will all get a great laugh out of this cute note.” Lol. Screw them.

That's honestly brutal how her mother traumatised her, but she's so confident and turned it into her power!

The principal of her school is to be equally blamed as her mother. Teachers are supposed to be your protectors, guides yet most of them are toxic as many parents in India. I am happy for you to survive and come out a victor.

This is so common between mothers hating daughters but no one talks about it.

Wow going to school was a break from the trauma that I was experiencing at home…..this hits home.

I too had a similar time in my childhood, few mom's will always spy on the girls, abuse and scold when started going to college. Even though few girls are really interested to study higher studies, not allowed for that. No extra care, always scolding with bad nasty words and beaten sometimes. When I left home for job, i was free from this hell... Now i too earn, married and living happily with my husband. God blessed my good deeds...

Now I know how Lucky I am to have Good mother, she is embodiment of divinity

Now I love my Mom even more ,She was an Angel....She passed away couple of years ago , but always in my heart💕

Seriously, in India, we are tagged as a bad child if we talk about bad and toxic and selfish parenting. This continues and continues and even if we raise voice to others, the society or relatives, the only question asked is why your parents should educate and feed you or keep you under shelter if they don't like you or treat you bad. My mother felt relieved and took sympathy from her friends and relatives showing how bad I am. Finally, when she was on her death bed, this bad son was only there to take care of her. But the irony is during her funeral, my relatives felt I am acting. Who gave them the licence to talk like this? MY PARENTS

The mother was projecting her own character onto her daughter.

We are just taught to worship parents no matter how toxic they are 😔😔😔

I felt this for almost 8 years after my father's death. It all ended after i left my home.

Took me 20 years to come out of it, it's a long way of balancing our freedom and love for parents. Out of all the various types of toxic relations, toxic parents is the most difficult one. You can neither leave nor stay.

Every kid needs a mother but every mother doesn't deserve a kid. My mom was the same kind, abusive like hell. I'm that child who is abandoned by her own mother. But I am very lucky that my dad loves me unconditionally. Trust me this is also a societal issue and happens in society where mother's don't like their one child. I am still told by my toxic relatives that "ek maa abhi ku-maata nahi ban sakti" but it really wasn't my case. So somehow I lacked Comfort/ Validation for this. Thanks for sharing the story! Now I feel little relieved. I can say to the world that Mothers can Abandon their child / Can be abusers too.

Brought tears to my eyes. She fought and became stronger is amazing!

This is true..many girls suffer in their own home.

its brought tears to my eyes cause i never thought mothers like these existed , also i cant imagine to put myself in yours place . i am really thankful that i got a mother who is very very supportive and caring . (words gonna be less to describe her ) she pampers me but shows tough love wherever required ... more power to you guys 🤞✨

This is for every one who is going through the same thing as narrated in the story. Alhamdulillah i have never been through anything like this, but then reading the comments really makes me sad 😣 I pray that everyone who finds this, finds peace and happiness ☮️

My mother is completely opposite to this narcissist mother...she always protected me and guided me...she's just a housewife....my mum never just told me that 'lafdebaaz mat ban' told me 'you should find a person who respects you for who you are...for that you need to be financially and spirituality independent".....My heart goes out for the people who have faced abuse from mum...narcissist are the WORST people in world...dw karma will get them bad, stay strong ❤

After listening to your experiences I can only thank God for my parents who sacrificed everything to give me the best they could afford. As the only daughter I was treated like a goddess and my father would literally thank God for giving him a daughter. My mother spoiled me rotten and I was not allowed to do anything that except my studies. Sadly I took them for granted and never really appreciated them. Your story is an eye opener.

I felt she was telling my story. My mom used to beat me with utensils and slippers in the kitchen when I used to stand there to help her. She too loved my brothers but today she is very old and they had bought a wrong walker for her but because she is my mother and the 'Ten Commandments' say that we should honour our parents, I took a walker on my scooter with front wheels and gave her. Today she can roam around in the house. She only taught me whatever I wanted to learn. I too told my husband to get me out of that house. Only daddy used to like me and he is no more. Now I came to know that many girls are ill treated by the mothers and I am not the only one.

More power to you. Lot of toxic parenting is happening at india but no one is allowed to talk about it. In pretext of respect elders, don’t question or call them out. Childhood trauma ruins ppl. I’m a psychologist, reach out for help, lead a fulfilling life. Life is worth living to the fullest

Really some mothers don't deserve children. I think there must be a strict law to certify women who want to be mothers. Cruel people must not be allowed . I must say the girl was really level headed,and a strong woman. may she be happy in her life.

I am just not able to believe that moms like these exist. The amount of love my mom gave me in the few years we had together has lasted a lifetime. 30 years since she has gone and not a single day goes without me remembering her and missing her. It is important to become aware of life stories like yours because they make me conscious about not taking my family for granted. It makes me realise how lucky I was even after I lost my mom because my family stood together ,supported each other and faced everything together. My conservative dad never let his orthodox beliefs stop me from living my life my way even though we don’t agree on most of the things. And here I was cribbing and complaining to God !!!!

Even I too come across this trauma from my mother followed by my brothers in another form Luckily my mother gave me higher education eventhough fighting everyday but I joined in college hostel and completed my studies . God Almighty gave me nice husband now I lead comfortable life Dear ones don't give up your hope

Very proud of you Padmaja! More power and a tight hug to you my dear! 😊❤

This is why we see many people in old age homes , it's not always that only the offspring ditches , the background story is never known .., and with such abusive parent / parents am afraid things will turn bad for them once the children grow up ,leave and never come back.

Her story is heart breaking. Kudos to her for walking away and pursuing success!

That generation mothers were like that , my mother talked so abusively that tear my soul . Enitre childhood I was so confused of her behavior, became very quite . But as I grown older she couldn't beat me more . I started defending myself . And with the time I erased her from my memory . I hate that mother word so much , that I never wanted any kid .

In India, there is this notion of 'parents do whatever they do for the benefit of their children' which is used to justify all the atrocities and mal practices that the parents commit. Due to this, toxic parenting has had very strong roots and has grown beyond limit in India. I too have suffered tremendously from my sociopath Mother... she even managed to manipulate my father to her will over the years. And almost all our extended family and relatives believe my parents over me due to the reputation they have created over the years... typical! The thing is, just leaving home is not enough... we as their children, somewhere deep in our hearts, believe and want them to be a part of our lives and want them to realize their mistakes and forgive and live happily together...!!! But once we try to take actions for this dream to come true, they hit us where it hurts the most. It is critically important to remove them from our hearts and minds as well to truly heal and be happy. It is painful... true.... But needs be done all the same. I learnt this the hard way... hope no one else does.

Mein zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya ... har fikr ko duvhan mein udata chala gaya . This was my life funda, when my very own people, unneccessarily gave me trauma.

Her story is same as mine ..... My mother never accepted me ... She only loved her son .... She also use to beat me when ever she got chance, now I am 30 and she still hates me more than anything 😭😭

Your mum should be so grateful to have a daughter like you, bless you and wishing you a very happy life xx

I am so sorry that your own mom was the way she was. Being a parent myself, I cannot imagine how traumatizing it would be to a child who couldn't find comfort and safety in their own parent. Kudos to your courage and will to do amazing in life. More power to you!

I was 12 years old dealing with unusual trauma! A time when everyone makes you feel worthless. You forget your worth! My mother didn't do anything wrong with me she supports me a lot! But at that time when everything seems numb and i was depressed! No one stood up ! Morale of the story :- fight for yourself and enjoy your own company! Literally no one I said literally no one is going to take charge of your happiness when you are at your worst! I am 19 today grew up a very strong girl. Bad times teaches you a lot! If someone who is dealing with the same don't look for happiness in this world. Be a good human being, meditate and think that you are going to die alone only with your good deeds nothing else! Just think that God is always going to stay with you! You are never alone

I had a wonderful mother who gave me the best of everything. I love her and thank God every moment for such lovely amazing mother. I am blessed 🙏🙏

Toxic Parenting.....this word I came across in the comment below for the 1st time in my life. I have been searching for this word, could never understand a better word to describe my evil mother. It is sad for any child to have toxic parenting. Its better not to have parents or such parents should never be blessed with children Padmaja was finally freed from her toxic mother at 18 years. I am 51 years and I still continue to be emotionally tortured by my mother (I was not physically tortured but yes emotions have longer effect I guess). I am away from her, settled in my own life, have family of my own. We 4 siblings are away from parents but we still care for our parents but my mums ungratefulness, selfishness, lies, evilness continues and it hurts till this date as I write here. I fail to understand what is her motive, why is she against her own children? She is 83 years old but evil to the core only towards her 4 children. The rest of the world she is the best lady on earth (thats how she projects) Rightly as somebody commented, everybody has a story but only few like Padmaja have the courage to put it behind her and talk about it openly. I am unable to put it behind and ever forgive my mother and i dont intend to see her even in her last days. May God bless children who are struggling and may they find their own wings to fly away faster from such toxic parenting. God bless

Very inspiring I hope a lot of women watch this and are going through similar experiences. Always talk to someone cos not everyone is strong

Thank you for sharing your story, Padmaja. May we keep growing. Much love.

Im that child whos abandoned by both of the parents. They started it since my childhood.

Hi Padmaja, I accidentally saw this video I am literally facing this problem not with my mother but by society

This is such a sad story and it personally makes me respect my parents for sacrificing everything for my own happiness. There are truly very evil people around us. You are beautiful young woman and may God and life give you nothing but the happiness now and always. You deserve good life❤️

You're definitely an inspiration to many women out there ma'am ♥️

Unfortunately, in Indian society people don't believe/ understand that family of origin can be abusive/ toxic too. Other than physical hitting, emotional torture, mishandling money is also abuse. Parents, especially Mothers are considered next to or even better than God. No matter whatever they do, it is never considered a sin. I too am a survivor of dysfunctional family abuse by elder sisters and parents. In the name of blood relations, I was gaslighted not only to endure the treatment but also consider it as an expression of love.

Wow! When even the protectors become abusers, you got to seek the shelter of the Supreme Protector and He does help!!!. Kudos to the kids who fight the inner battle of healing from parental abuse.

"I was constantly looking out for myself" Amazing thought! We all need to...

I thank God for my mum. Yes, I am from a broke family at times was ignored, abandoned but I really understood what she was going through and forgave her. Today we both are the best friends!!

My mom also sooo much cruel with me 😭😭😭😭😭 I don't know why....she always abuse me kick me hitting me....very dirty abusing....thants why I am suffering from stress dipressed....and harmonal imbalance pcod......but I got very sweet understanding husband who always consult me loves me sooo much caring....and very nice in laws who always loves me thank u god....🙏🙏

I am stunned to hear about such horrible things, a mother was doing to her own daughter ( not a step daughter) was there anything grossly wrong with her mental state ? What sins , wrong doings , she was talking about ? What was she punishing her own daughter for ?Everything is so strange, abnormal and eeky.. Thank God, she left the house, before it was too late ! I appreciate daughter 's patience,valour, and strength. All my blessings !

So inspiring... It is possible to get out of someone's house but it is very difficult to when we are suffering from our own home

Oh my goodness 😢so sorry for you!! I can’t even think of someone like her mom. Kudos to you girl! Be brave and strong like you are!! May god bless you immensely!!

So proud of u dear sister.whenever i watch a story in joshtalk,i felt like this episode is the best of all....

I felt for you so much listening to your story. I had a similar experience and I lived in terror and agony. So I wrote a book call 'Who Can I Turn To?' simply to get the pain out of my system.

Kudos to you Padmaja!! Spoke with lot of confidence & composure.... your talk will help many of those that need to hear that hope exists.

When I was a kid ,my mother was very abusive,used slang languages, used to hit me very hard, always had doubt about my character..She thought I would elope with a boy when I grow up..But now I have showed her who I am, how my character is..I have also changed her way of thinking by constantly talking to her, showing to her movies and serials.. Actually when I was kid ,we lived in a joint family and there she was a victim of domestic violence.. that is why she was very disturbed..She never went to school..She didn't know how to take care of mental health and children..

More power to you dear! Blessings!!

Love to the guys who denied marrying her for her age India needs more men like you: whoever y'all are i love you

May God bless and help you continue to transform lives. You are a strong woman dear. It takes immense courage to keep it together and come out of it.

I really feel very sorry for her trauma, but I am so lucky that my mother loves me so much and I love her more than my life too. I hope everyone should get their mother's love.

God bless you my child. I wish I have a daughter like you. Just opposite to your mom i earned day n night to avoid debt towards my children education n marriage expenses depending on my mom but my daughter didn't understand me n shattered my happiness. I think show off love works than the silent love.

Can't believe a mother can be so cruel like this.. unimaginable. She doesn't deserve such silent daughter.. what an insane mom !! Gosh Padmaja Is so strong she might even haven't aware while going through this hell .

I’m so sorry that this happened to you. This made my heart so sad it’s so awful and traumatic. I have had trauma in my life and would also like to help others like you are doing. I’m so glad that you survived and have been empowered to use your gift to help others. You are a beautiful blessing, may God continue to bless and strengthen you always!❤

Hats off to you. Imagine if wasn't a secular country like India. it was Pakistan or Afghanistan. Many girls go through worse than this in Pakistan with no way out. The victin knoes that the Sociey outside could be deadlier than an abusive mother.

I happy to see you to empower more women, well done👏 Mam

I feel father and brother to an extent also didn't do their bit and to an extent responsible for her suffering.

Sometimes I feel western parenting is good because they don't force kids on anything..education, sports,food etc

Mere mami ek the. Wo apni ek lauti 3 saal ki beti ko hi pyar nhi krte the. Aur aise case maine aur v dekhe hain jinki mummy apne hi beta ya beti ko pyar nhi krte.

This is a story of great courage. I am so happy that you were able to get away from the abuse and seek your own happiness. It takes guts to stand up for yourself and help others too. Sadly there are lots of toxic mothers out there who don't deserve to be raising children because they cause too much pain and trauma. keep going and continue to stay strong and positive.

I am a male and my mother is my biggest enemy in my life , full of ego , lust , mentally disturbed, greed etc , finally I am not alone , with this problem , life is hell and leaving like this is worthless 😢

Your life story is really, really heart wrenching! I'm glad you had the grit and courage to bear with it and come out unscathed. And now, you have the heart and reason to get girls out of their messed life - what a beautiful transformation, bless YOU! -

Your story brought tears to my eyes. I hope you will one day find peace and find a way to heal from all the hell you have been through. My heart goes out to you.

What mental strength, she had, prayers do help in de long run, thank god, blessings🙏.

I remember I was shit scared of my mom as a kid, the fear always overpowered the love. She religiously followed “strict parenting” as that’s how she was brought up. She’s highly educated btw. I didn’t feel safe sharing anything wrong happening to me with her even as a little kid. I was beaten up in my childhood, then it turned into verbal and emotional abuse in my high school and it all somehow seemed justified to me because I felt like I wasn’t good enough and didn’t do everything according to her rules. I kept hoping that once I do something good in life it will all change. Presently I’m 24, got done with my MBBS and living exactly as she has always wanted me to be. And even then I don’t feel good enough, I still have to beg for love and respect and still feel like the child who’s less loved compared to my elder brother who’s her “golden child”. She’d always defend him no matter what and would never leave a chance to scrutinise my behaviour and blame me. And together they always look down upon me. I however get the love and support from my father and he’s also very proud of me, thankfully.

Your story is truly inspiring. And I like what you said that you are not the trauma you faced. You are yourself and it's wonderful that you are helping others

As a person who had two loving moms & dads I couldn't nearly imagine how it feels to be treated like this by the very same people who are supposed to cherish, defend & support you. What a power house you & all the wonderful people in this thread are! How inspiring your stories & your survivals are to the millions of people who suffer this. I feel that I was quite blessed because I had two moms that were quite on the opposite ends but miraculously got along so well & made our lives cohesive & seamless everyday. One was not very touchy, and lovey dovy and while always gave us tough love & cold truths, did not wait a second to defend & support us when we needed it. She always told us you & I know who you are so if you really want to get somewhere in life, go ahead & pay no attention to silly talk & gossip or cultural limitations. The other one admired us loudly almost every time we entered the room and fueled our confidence by reminding us how beautiful & smart we are and how proud they are to have us in their lives. At the same time though a very small woman by physique she was like the running engine of our large family. With two different personalities, they both made things happen & work cohesively within our little society. One a trend setter & social leader in her own way, the other a poised, diplomatic, action taker. The men also knew how to & what to take care of and which one to direct the family's needs to based on certain circumstances. We were always told by our fathers the women are the pillars that keep a house standing and the men are it's roof. If the pillars crack or break, the roof will start crumbling too. Life brought many challenges but I always believed that the way my parents managed to work through their challenges & kept the large family together despite personal differences, is quite a rare gift that is often taken for granted until you have it no more. Many of us want families without knowing how to manage ourselves let alone other relations. There will always be some level of toxicity & trauma in each individual due to their life experiences but if not managed, it leads to severe cases like this. Regardless, smart and powerful people like these women will rise from their ashes time & time again and use the fire that burned them down to a fine powder to cleanse & heal other souls. We all know that it is easier said than done, but may we all find courrage when fear & pain overtake us or a helping hand to lift us from the ruins of our misery into the glory of hope & courrage in our darkest moments🙏

I'm really grateful to God that i was born to a mother who literally worked hard day n night to give a wonderful future.. hope no kid shud be cursed with such psyc gaurdian.. i don't want mention word mother to these kind of sick people

God bless you dear & keep doing good always in your life for the women that u want to support 🙏👍

What a beautiful. touching and empowering story!! Thank you for sharing with the world of your story & struggles! Sometimes we may feel that our story(s) is too shameful and embarrassing to share, but it's stories like this that help make us stronger and better individuals! I'm so glad you found an angel to help you along the way when you needed someone to come to your rescue! God always makes ways to put guardian angels in the process of our struggles to help us accomplish and take us to where we need to be! I'm grateful on your behalf!

I loved the prayer of seeking forgiveness .... powerful words emerging from the tender heart of you as an innocent child... yours is indeed an inspiring story... thanks for sharing with us..

Great going girl.. Yes we are the unlimited power

Thanks padmaja, you got opened. Log bahut aise baat karte hain, Ki maa toh maa hoti hai, Devi maa ka roop hoti hai, maa ko galat mat samajho, maa ki takleef ko samjho. Maa ko galat kahne wale upper nahi ate hain, etc. Lekin koi bacchi ki, beti ki takleef nahi samajte, naa paiso se madad karte hain, naa achi salah se, naa koi sacch ke liye fight karte hai, na koi mushkil mein saat dete hain. Har ladki yudh kar rahi hai bachpan se hi. Sabhi log paraya hai, yah taki maa baap bhi. Kuch ladkiyon ke saat bahar wale boora karte hain, aur kuch ladkiyon ke saat toh unke maa, baap, aur siblings hi boora karte hain. Aur woh bahar bhi aakar nahi bata sakti. Mere toh sabhi dushman nikle, bas mere friends bhale the. Lekin meri health kharab kardi meri maa aur bhai ne, aur mere papa ne, abhi tak health problems hai, isiliye, Mera koi naam nahi, mere paas koi naukri nahi, mere bare koi janta nahi aur na main kisi ko kuch motivate, help karpayi. Bhagwan shakti, sehensheeltha ke saat health, buddhi aur chance bhi de taki hum yudha ladane ke saat Jeete bhi.

I am proud of you for speaking your truth. You are an inspiration! I'm so glad that you are here. You have great courage.

That person whoever gave birth to this woman, does NOT even deserve the title of being called a mother. I am so glad that this young woman was courageous enough to plan her escape from her abusive mother and start over in a new place far away from her abusive mother. Unfortunately, many abused children don't get the chance to escape such situations. She is one of the lucky ones.

After going through comments i realise so many of us hv faced the trauma which has scared us for life... 💔 Will never know how it feels to hv a happy home or loving mother..

Loved your story... I have toxic abusive parents so i can feel your pain.

Thank you for sharing this! And putting mothers off the pedestal

May God bless you with lots of love and strength.

I found your story to be horrific. Often I heard or read about girls from India, Pakistan or the middle East and cannot comprehend the horrors of what they go through in life. Sadly, even many of the married ones are living in fear and bondage as well. I wish there were more like you who has the courage to break away and speak up. Bless you.

My parents too are extremely evil. Particularly my mother. Since the day I was born. Half a century gone, she is still so toxic, mean and hateful.

U will never know how truly strong you are until you reach a point where being strong is the only choice you have.

The gossip could have come from any other child jealous of you or your watch. I know how horrible it is when you're not trusted. You managed to preserve your self-esteem, get away and improve your situation. Bravo.