Don't Look Frumpy Over 40 || Beware These 5 Frump Factors! 

Darlin’ Kay, I have a tip to add to yours: many retirees can’t afford higher quality clothing, and I’m one of them. I’m in the choir at church, in front of the entire parish, & I like to look nice, so what I do is go to the Goodwill used clothing shops in the more wealthy areas in town. I find loads of excellent condition items from Chico’s, Ralph Lauren & other brands, some of which still have tags! Half my wardrobe is from Goodwill, & I call this a victory!! Thx for your hard work.

I am surprised that you didn’t mention a well fit bra. That made the biggest change for me. Thanks for reminding me about standing tall with confidence.

The SMILE can take off 10 years and you look happy. It actually can change your own mood! Usually if you smile at someone, they do smile back. Your whole demeanour changes upward! I'm 75 from and in, the U.K. 🇬🇧🙏🏻 Kay. You're delightful. A few tips for my age group wouldn't go amiss. Have a great day xx🤗👌

WOW! When you show the 2 different hairstyles on yourself you can REALLY see how a hairstyle can make you look vibrant and stylish or frumpy. That was an amazing way to show your point.

Kay, I wished you would have addressed bra wearing, too. So many of my friends look frumpy, because they have given in to saggy breasts. That causes their clothing to become ill-fitting, increasing the “frump-factor!” 😊

Great video! As a 69 year old retiree who moved recently to a small town in the Mid West, my style is more casual than when I was a trial lawyer. I follow several stylists on You Tube, and all say shoes can make or break an outfit. You are the first and only to recognize that some of us simply can’t wear cute, stylish shoes anymore. Thanks for “giving permission” to wear what shoes we must, and focus on all our other style elements. 👍

This is good Kay, thank you. I agree . I have number 6 for you. I agree about wearing no more than two colors but to add to that, leave the patterned and floral print material for throw pillows. Solid colors can show off a beautiful necklace and face without distraction. Spruce it up with earrings and a scarf. A colorful scarf should not be big and puffy, too much going on near the face. One more thing about shoes. If orthotics need to be worn, I find the most comfortable style of shoe are ankle boots. One size larger fits your own insoles and also gives more of a secure feel when walking than a low cut shoe. A couple pair of chelsea boots with different heels like one with a low dressy heel and one lug sole are stylish and comfortable. I hope this helps. I'm almost 66 and am just suggesting what I do to get through the day...... with confidence. :)

The issue with older women is that along with our changing bodies, we also change our outlook on fashion. We tend to go more with comfort and relinquish our obsession with looks. We accept our thinning hair, our double chins, our larger bellies. We no longer want to “torture” ourselves with tight bras. Some of us embrace the “frump” with simpler linen clothes that flow, comfortable shoes, and happily abandon the tyrannical fashion demands of society and the marketplace.

Posture is soooo important. I was sitting on the dock with my granddaughter, and my daughter asked us to turn for a picture. Before she took the photo, she said ‘posture, mom’. I straightened up before the click, and the photo turned out great. I can imagine what she saw before coaching me, as I’ve seen many pics of myself slouchy. I’m thankful she spoke up!! I try to remind myself often… posture!

When I was in middle school, we had a music teacher who taught us to constantly keep a small smile on our face. Well, she tried anyway. Obviously the vast majority of the kids made fun of her, but what she said made so much sense to me that I started practicing. It has become second nature. Pre-pandemic (when I was out in public without a mask), I often had random strangers waving at me, saying hello, smiling at me, or approaching me for directions. Once, I was even enlisted at the grocery store to help pick out avocados (which I don't know much about). I think it's the small smile.

Being sympathetic to women with feet issues is a HUGE missing link in the fashion industry. Thank you for researching the great brands that don't scream FRUMPY!

All great tips - thanks so much! My main goals at 60 are comfort and beauty. The minute we older ladies say “modern,” we date ourselves and automatically sound and feel older. I’ve dressed well all my life, but frankly with my frumpy body I can’t expect to look as chic as I did when I was 25. I do feel Ive learned enough over the years, however, to move with the times and be true to myself as well. If I look frumpy, so be it. Chances are I won’t feel fabulous, but sometimes I do, in spite of what fashions may dictate. What’s important is our confidence and how we feel inside. Whatever you do, own it!

I never have “done” my hair routinely, aside from shampooing and drying. My arm gets too sore holding a curling iron or putting in hot rollers, I get burns, and it takes well over an hour. But the main reason is that I suck at doing hair! I might go to my stylist for a special-occasion do, but I long ago decided no-fuss is best for my daily toilette. Keeping my hair around shoulder length helps, too. My consolation is that most French women wear natural hairstyles, too, and they always look great.

I found freedom in styling from a modern stylist who said black does not look good on every woman and finding our neutral will make us modern and more attractive. Gray, camel and navy are some good alternatives to black and are seen on styleboards everywhere. I was freed when I changed to navy! I don't look good in black but am pleased to note that navy is a much nicer choice for my skin tone. I want all women to feel pretty about themselves. I have mobility issues. I cannot not wear pricey regular brands. Prior to where I now am, I did just that. The good news is that orthopedic brand shoes are coming out with cuter booties and Mary Jane's. And tennis shoes. Some people have severe crippling extremely painful feet and are barely able to walk. They have selected the most attractive shoes they can find. It takes research. Let us remind them we are are proud of their choices and how beautiful their entire fashion looks are. To tell them to ignore their feet is to say to ignore a part of who they are. My feet are a part of me. I feel the same even though I can't wear the shoes I wish I could. Believe me I do not feel frumpy! I find the best shoes for me feet so that I can walk with my walker or canes. I want to feel pretty in my outfits. I choose the nicest shoes for my feet. I live in California and follow fashion influencers from all over. Color is on trend. I think it's fun to see an older woman in bright color clothes because after the pandemic it's fun. We must not get too serious about it. I think if you have too many classics you can get frumpy fast. Get some fun pieces that aren't traditional to modernize your look. You will look years younger. Really. One classic piece is enough for an outfit otherwise it can be too dated sometimes. Life is short. Take a risk. There is room on our beautiful planet for more uniqueness. We are all loved and blessed most highly by being just who we are. Have the most lively day! My neutral accessory is leopard. It goes with everything I think. Used wisely. Like a headband or sunglasses. Hairdos? My hair is thinning too much on top to lift. Can't create layers on the sides. I think the straight parted hair isn't flattering on everyone and I'm happy more styles based on thickness texture wave and curl and shape of faces and preferences are coming back. Soft waves flatter around an aging face. I'd like to have them but my hair isn't growing. So the little I have is pulled back in a tiny bun. The look may be 'unflattering' but is the aging woman's face? It's time for women to appreciate the beauty of aging in a positive light. Our elder women deserve our respect about their lovely appearance. I am 71 an feel like it is a joy to be alive and part of gracing our experience is to accept that women are a positive important feature. Wear all your aspects and charms my lovelies with the knowledge that there are no rules and "If you want it, have it." I send healing prayers to all of you in need of them and unconditional love. May the angels shower you with light beams.

Hi Kay, thank you for your tips, but as an 80 year old, who most people think is 20 years younger, I don’t feel that my wardrobe “makes” me, I am what I am, I am happy with my life, I have reasonable health, I exercise regularly and am friendly and unbiased, never consider my, or other peoples dress sense, after all, it’s the personality, not the clothes that “maketh the man”,

I love your polite and non judgmental approach to fashion advice

Great advice. Thank you for not following the crowd and telling us how to look younger. I like the idea of looking confident and put-together as a "mature" woman. I survived and I'm proud of it and your hints show me more of how to show it on the outside.

Here's another tip: As our faces age we tend to get more jowly along our jaw line. I received a tip from a woman about not emphasizing that area when I was shopping for earrings. She said as she aged she started wearing small/shorter earrings that end higher up on her face because earrings longer than 1/2 inch tend to end at or near the jaw line. Earrings just naturally draw attention to the face and when the bottom of the earrings end at or below the jaw line, the eye is drawn there, especially if the earrings are a dangle or has some movement to them.

I’m blown away by the difference in hair styles!!! Thank you for demonstrating it!!! You look 10-15 years younger with your current hair style!!! ❤️

I am 35. I had my third baby a year and a half ago. I struggle to put effort into how I look (like, at ALL) even though I want to be a blessing to my husband and children by looking nice and also to feel better/more energized by being dressed nicely/more put together (even when I am home most of the day and cooking and cleaning and caring for my baby). I really appreciate your encouragement to stand up straight and smile became the Lord has good work for me today. I actually started to cry, haha. It was just exactly the encouragement I needed. So thank you! And thank you for all the other advice. I know my husband would love for me to dress a little more nicely- he doesn’t say so at all and he is so encouraging and appreciative of my work for the kids and for him, but I want to bless him and I want to know how to dress even for my daughters’ sake so that as they grow I can help them!! Of course they will wear different clothes than I do, but I want to learn more about this so we can wade through the millions of styles and clothing options (so many of which are awful) with wisdom.

This was very timely! I know I need to up my game and this gave me a game plan. I'm making an appointment to get my shaggy and unruly curls cut into a flattering style as soon as the salon opens. You're right that God has a plan for us, and it's not for us to let ourselves go and give up on ourselves.

That was wonderful Kay! I’m 70 years old and a choir director for my community. I see recordings of our performances and the one thing I notice is my posture! With everything else I have to remember, it’s hard to add that to the list. But for my December holiday show I am going to try to focus on it! Thanks so much for all the tips. They were excellent and you delivered them with grace, as always. God bless you!

Thank you for the reminder about smiling and facial expressions. Years ago when my husband was a youth minister, one of the sweet teenage guys in our group asked us why the older ladies at church didn't like him. We asked him what gave him the idea that they don't like him. He said that whenever he was around them, they were always frowning at him. Even though we knew all of these precious ladies and knew this was a misperception on his part, we could see what he was talking about. Smiling makes such a difference.

Posture is so important...for our appearance and to improve alignment and balance...and reduce fall risks!

Thank you Kay! So timely for me as I am a 72 year old (in body not mind!) who has to meet a new doctor today (my dr. of many years moved to New Zealand! Too far to drive!) Because of a strange phone call from her office yesterday it sounds like she wants to re-invent the wheel and I have been struggling with how to present myself to her so that she takes me seriously. Your suggestions are all right on point and will help me give her the impression of a smart, together woman, not an old thing that she can push around. I will dress for success and hold my head up high as I explain my well refined medical situation! Thank you!!

Loved every single tip, and you illustrated it so well! I too fall in the “major foot problems but love pretty shoes” category (crushed my heel jumping off a ladder). My sister and I just got home from a Danube cruise and spent a lot of time in outdoor cafes watching the fashion parade of beautifully dressed European women, then trying to figure out how we could spot American women instantly. I took ballet lessons for almost 35 years, and you are the first person I’ve heard speak about how posture goes a very long way to a youthful vibe!

Hey, Kay! I just wanted to say that I found the format of your videos really helpful, especially the video-within-a-video approach. The examples you demonstrated, both the positive and negative together, made it so much easier to understand the points you were making, and really drove it home. Seeing is believing! Thanks so much!!😊

This is the first time I’ve seen one of your videos. I loved it!! I’m 41 but DeFiNiTeLY needed your tips on how to avoid the frump! My very favorite thing was the last one minute of the video. Thank you for the reminder that life is a gift, and each day we’re alive God has a purpose for it. That is truly something to smile about. God know us and loves us. 💗 Trying to remember that always is probably the best tip to fight the frump. It will help me look positive, at peace, and approachable. You’re darling. Thanks for the video, for being you, and sharing your talents with the world. ❤️

This was great advice, and I love that it was delivered in such a kind and compassionate way! The hair advice was especially helpful. One other thing that I think can make us look frumpy is wearing clothes that are too oversized. That's the case for me anyway. Hope you have a wonderful week, Kay! Your positivity is so uplifting. :)

Great tips! My tip is - Because I am short 5’3” I work very hard to stay slim. It makes such a difference . Also avoiding boxy clothing rather than slim line

A tip I've picked up along the way: If you're interested in the clothes from a certain catalog or see an outfit you really like, check out your wardrobe first! Odds are, you likely already have an outfit similar to the one trying to be sold to you, or at the very least a couple of the core pieces. Also, it helps to decide if you really want that scarf or those earrings or some other item; if it wouldn't go with the rest of your clothes, is it worth the investment?

I have never been one of those women who does her hair. I have always hated hair spray. But I recognize that hair you are talking about. I am not a fan of black outfits, it can really wash out older women. Of course it looks great on others. I think the number one anti aging thing any woman can do is exercise. I exercise every day. I mix between pilates and yoga flows. And walk! Barre work outs are great too. I have MS and I am 60 and I still set my fitness goals.

Excellent video!! I would humbly add one more tip that is similar to not wearing too many colors in an outfit as we get older. I think another way to avoid looking frumpy is to tone down one's makeup. I am 73 now but when I was your age, Kay, I had a friend who was 9 years older than me. I never saw her without her makeup on which always included a bright lipstick, rouge or blusher, and blue eye shadow (her eyes were crystal blue). One day I dropped in on her unexpectedly and she had not yet put on any makeup. I was amazed at how fresh and much younger she looked without full makeup! I think it is more flattering when a mature woman tones down and pares back the colors she wears on her face as well as the colors in outfits. Thank you for all your spot-on advice.

Also, I think clothes that are the right size help. I just went shopping for jeans yesterday and the ladies were soooo helpful in showing me how slimmer fit pants were more flattering even though I'm not at an ideal weight. Too much fabric is not a good thing!

I’m not yet 40, but have started to look closer to my age than I did a few years ago - and I’m so pleased! All of a sudden I don’t look ridiculous in those timeless clothes I’ve coveted for years. So, given a rather rapid wardrobe change is in process, it’s great to see tips I can incorporate into that, both now and in the future. Thanks!

My personal mantra when I step out of my car: Put a twinkle in my eye, a spring in my step, and a smile on my lips. It is amazing how much better I feel before I get to the business entrance.

Thank you Kay for the tips and encouragement I also am 58 years old. I have a 15 year old high school freshman. I don’t need to look like the 40 something moms but sometimes I need a little advice on how to look like the mom and not the grandma. Have a wonderful day.

I hate to say shop, shop, shop, but adding a few updated items each season is essential for staying modern and current-looking.

I completely agree with especially the posture and facial expressions. My mother in law always had what I called “resting grumpy face”. She wasn’t necessary in a bad mood, but her face said that. I constantly fight against that and my posture as well. It really is the #1 thing aging us.

I appreciate the intention of your hairstyle comment. You have beautiful hair! However, there is no way to wear my flat, fine, thinning hair in a modern way. It must be short and, if I work at it, I can get some height with layers…for about 10 minutes. I don’t have the facial features for those cute, super short cuts. Not attractive on me. I found my answer in wigs! These are not your grandmother’s wigs. They take 30 seconds to put on and take 10 years off my face. I have a variety of styles and they are so much fun to wear. I learned a lot about wigs from RU-vid (Taz’s wig closet) before I bought my first one. I started with something similar in color and style to my own hair on its best day. I get compliments all the time and most women are shocked when I tell them it’s a wig. Just offering a ray of hope for those of us who are struggling with hair loss or thinning and are painfully aware of how grumpy it can look. Thanks for all your recommendations!

Hi Kay! Your videos are always so thoughtful. I just had my 70th birthday, and do not plan to ever be frumpy! You hit on so many good points and I am pleased that posture was among them. It makes such a difference. I appreciate that you are so gracious regarding women’s individual challenges. Thank you!

Dear Kay...Thank you for your gracious way of encouraging us mature women to be relevant and purposeful. You are a true blessing. I just turned 60 and I have learned so much these past few years from you. Thank you so much!

I"m a master stylist and an agree with all of these. At 60, like myself you don't want to look like you are trying too hard, but still with it. It truly is an art form. Nice clip!

I recently cut my hair from a below shoulder length to a pixie. I have gotten so many compliments on it! When I watched this video, I realized that your tip on hair was spot on! You’ve got a new subscriber.

I'm so glad you mentioned the hair. I've been struggling with top hair loss and I've heard conflicting things about not having too much body on the crown to give movement. I like the way your hair is styled because it looks natural. Thank you for these tips.

Thank you for another great video! I totally agree that adding modern footwear is one of the easiest ways to update your classic wardrobe. Also, proper posture and a smile makes everything look better.

I love listening to you. You are so encouraging, warm, and cheerful.

Agree with everyone of your suggestions. I’m so happy to try your shoe suggestions!!! The only thing I would add is wearing the right color for you. I think it makes a huge difference. Some colors light you up and some remove any color in your face. Love your channel.

You totally cracked me up today, Kay!! But everything you said is so true. I actually know some women who have definitely fallen into the "frumpy" category at mid 50's! Thanks for the reminder to add something current and to stand straight and confident.

I have curly hair, and I have asked my hair stylist for fullness from crown to temple with layering. When it’s windy or rains ( and it rains most of the time in Georgia, or the humidity is so high here that it might as well be raining ), the “fullness from the crown to the temples” look, on me, frizzes/curles up and sticks out whenever I go outside, so that I look like that guy on the Three Stooges. No amount of oil or hair products prevents this. Although most people do not have curly hair, perhaps you could have a hair stylist visit with you on one of your RU-vid videos to discuss how older women with curly or very wavy hair, in tropical climates, can tame their hair in constant humidity and rain…and still look less “frumpy”. Thanks for your videos.

I'm so happy you pointed out how to wear the classics still. I recently bought some very classic twin sets from Talbots - something I'd wanted foever, but couldn't afford until recently. I can still wear the shells and the cardigans, but not necessarily together to be more updated. WOW! What a difference it made changing out your shoes and handbag for something more up to date with your classic cardigan and bow-tie blouse. I can't quite tell, but it looks like you also changed to a slightly longer and more fitted pant. Looks great! How we carry ourselves is a huge factor in how we look. So much so that my mom showed me a tip for how to stand up straight when I was a pre-teen. I still do it now at 66 years old. Lean your back against a flat wall, with your feet about 10' away from the wall and about shoulder width apart. Bend your knees, while pushing your shoulders back against the wall. Do not lift your shoulders, but push them back. Then, while keeping your shoulders back, hipbone pulled back, slowly straighten your legs. Before you walk away, make sure your lower back is touching the wall (accomplished by pulling your hip bone back) so that you can't fit your hand behind your back. Pull your ribcase off your hips too (straighten your spine)! Now, step away from the wall, keeping those shoulders back. Your bust will look more perky and your waist will appear slimmer, because poor posture makes your belly stick out and your bust isn't hanging down in front of your waist. Of course, you'll want to make sure your foundtions fit properly or possibly negate the great healthier look of your new good posture. You'll also have the added bonus of being able to breath better!

Great video! I agree that our presence is so important!! I looked so much older 15 years ago when I had low self confidence and wanted to hide from the world. Now even if I'm just going to the grocery store I carry myself in like I just won an Oscar!! And I look so much better in photos now because of it. Thanks for the tips

I loved this video, Kay! Very good pointers and I like the way you modeled the frumpies so it was easy to visualize your points. I need to work on my hair after looking at the frumpy example. I’m letting my hair grow a little longer and then I’m going to ask my hairdresser to de-frump it. I love the way you are wearing your hair. I think one of the most important things to make us feel young is positivity and a genuine smile and laugh.

I just got to the part where you mentioned Paul Green loafers, a brand I have never heard of. I paused the video, and looked that up, and saw loafers for $375.00. OMG. Lol I cannot imagine.... But I do love your tips, and I'm enjoying this video. I do have joint issues, knee replacement, hip and foot issues, but just wow on that price!

You really spoke to me with #4! I absolutely love my classic pieces and in the past, I was afraid to add modern elements because I thought it would look like I’m trying too hard. But I’ve recently realised it’s ok to throw in some modern pieces! Thanks for reinforcing my thought. Mary in Florida 🌺

I just LOVE your positivity and your very practical Suggestions. I’m 58 too I’m loving your perspective on everything. And your JOY shines through….❤🎉

What good advice! I was able to take a second look at my everyday outfit yesterday. I especially appreciate your suggestions to stay with no more than two colors. It makes such a difference. I even started thinking about my posture in the evenings as I was getting ready for bed.

This was a very good video. I always appreciate how kind you are when giving advice. As someone who has terrible feet, I always feel bad that my footwear is sometimes frumpy. But now I realize, accenting the other four items takes the focus away from my feet! Thanks for always including all of us in your advice!

I spent most of my life fighting my naturally very curly hair. I’m 70, and I’m not fighting it anymore.

It’s challenging to find clothes that look nice but are also comfortable with my less than perfect body. Great tips. Thanks.

Love the pointers! Very helpful on paring down yet keeping it modern. Just adding a smile and standing tall makes such a difference, and it makes you feel better too.

Thank you so much for this video Kay. I've worked, from a very young age, in jobs that required a uniform. I've worked a lot of hours and didn't make time to be fashionable. I'll be retiring soon and realize I have no idea how to really dress at this age! Your advice is so helpful and inspiring! I'm looking forward to looking my best! Thank you again.

Your hair tip is fantastic. The "before and after" really illustrates how modernizing your hairstyle avoids the frumpy look. Overall, great tips beautifully illustrated. Thanks, Kay!

Great simple advice and very easy to implement. I especially loved the advice on posture, which is so important. Thank you for being a shining light and guiding us through the best years of our lives 🙏

First time watching one of your videos. Thanks for all of these tips. I would like to offer one more, which I picked up from the TV show 'What Not to Wear', and that is to wear clothes that fit. Everyone looks frumpy with clothes that are too big or just don't fit your body type. Well fitting clothes make such a difference!

Oh Kay, I so agree with you about it all. But the posture thing is so important. I have belonged to the same tennis/swim/exercise club for the last 22 years. Now that I am semi-retired, I go in the morning, as soon as I get up. I see women my age (68) looking at the ground as they walk to and from the club. They do not smile, they do not say Hello, they do not pull their shoulder back and stand tall. I am flabbergasted at it. I have known some of these people for 22 years and they still do not greet me or anyone else. My mother used to say, posture is everything. And small talk and a smile goes a long way. They look like life has defeated them and they have given up. All very grumpy. And frumpy. When I walk by, I always say Hello even if they do not answer me. I stand tall, always remember to hold my head up high and I smile at people. That goes a long way. And when you go to a public place you should say Hello and Goodbye to the people who help run the establishment. Some of these women are just so rude, like their mothers never taught them manners or how to be in this world. And they all come from upper middle-class families, they are all well-educated, I just don't get it. I am just floored by it all. But I live in the Boston area, so I just chuck it up to unfriendly Bostonians (or rather New Englanders), even though I am from here too. Thanks Kay, keep up the good work. I always appreciate your work and commitment to us.

I def agree with monochromatic outfits. I just turned 50 and have noticed patterns of any sort just aren’t flattering for me anymore. These tips are so fabulous!! I’m a new subscriber and anxious to learn more!

As a commercial photographer I can say amen to all these points. Especially the posture / smile / presence -- no matter what you have to wear or look like you always look better when you have great presence. Glad I found you -- good stuff.

Thanks for this. I am 71 and still work at a part time job. I already work hard on my posture through exercise routines and also my mental/spiritual health through prayer and Bible study. I have a short, stylish pixie haircut and I don’t over do make up. However I have noticed that my clothing choices have become random and I sometimes end up in a “frumpy “ outfit. Thanks for the reminders about shoes and color choices. I’m gonna work on that. Blessings…

Good pointers. I particularly agree with over-accessorizing. Some older women I know have the whole matchy-matchy costume jewelry sets (earrings, bracelets, necklaces) AND a bright silk scarf around the neck. When you pair that with overdone makeup, oh boy. (That's a whole other issue. Underdoing it is looks more youthful than overdoing it!)

A lot of peoples feet, back, alignment, etc problems are from a lifetime of improperly fitted footwear. VivoBarefoot is a phenomenal company that makes shoes for how feet are supposed to function! They are pricey but worth every penny! I never realized how much my shoes were hurting me until about 6 years ago when I started falling on my face after I would step out of bed in the morning. It was startling & strange! My feet hurt so bad I could hardly put pressure on them. And my knees & back had problems too. Learning to wear barefoot shoes (without actually being barefoot) allowed my tendons, bones, joints, etc to realign in the proper position & I havent had foot or severe knee problems since. 💕🙏🏼🕊️

Kay, your advice on trying to have a pleasant expression is so important! When I started substitute teaching I decided the elementary students were already missing their reg teacher and did not need to be looking at a grumpy faced substitute! My own kids,when little, would often sound depressed that they had a substitute teacher that was grouchy. I trained myself to always try and keep that small smile on my face. Plus, at 74, it makes mouth wrinkles less noticeable 😉. Guess what? I was always one of the favorite subs. I try to tell my 34 yr old daughter ,also a teacher, to get rid of her ( so called) natural RBF. She says it’s hard! Maybe by the time she’s 40 she’ll get it 😂

I agree with your last point. The other day I had to make Quick stop at the store. I knew my attire wasn't the greatest. So as I went in the store, I lifted my shoulders up and back, lifted my head, put a smile on my face and it was amazing how good I felt about myself and I encouraged others to smile back. I don't think they noticed my outfit!

Thanks for mentioning posture. I teach Pilates to the 50+ age group and it makes such a difference!

She cracks me up!"iT`S NOT ABOUT GRAY BECAUSE i`M GOING GRAY".

Thanks Kay! I agree and we are about the same age and I don’t consider myself an older adult, but tired yep…I am that. I have also been told that I was slouched over while I was working and that alarmed me. I started to work out and found that the stronger I am the less I slump over. Great video!

Thank you Kay. I am 58 also and sometimes I think a factor that may age me may be my walk. My pace has slowed considerably probably in large part because I'm retired and happy not to have to hurry so much. Really enjoy your videos.

Love the video! I have taken your advice on so many things! I’m 60 and a mother of 17 yo twins so I don’t want to look old. I especially needed hair advice as I’ve also gone to a simpler style. Thank you for keeping us looking great!

You were mentioning putting a smile on your face and years ago someone gave me an excellent suggestion for looking more pleasant and the suggestion is just to think the word smile in your mind and your countenance will look more pleasant naturally

I appreciate your kind approach. I agree about hair. Find a decent flattering cut but also change it up sometimes. Some women look great with super short hair but in my view, very few women over 50 look good with long hair. Especially long, messy gray hair. Ditch the dark brown or black dye, which is super aging. Shoes: for me a short leather bootie works with many outfits and is comfortable and not frumpy. I can't wear cheap shoes any more at 71. I love color but you're right. Don't overdo the patterns or too much big jewelry. That said, I love stylish older ladies like Iris Apfel, who is all about excess and bright color.

Thank you for your compassionate observations! I feel encouraged and though I do have a back problem I try to dress to not have it show so much. But your suggestion to smile, which I think I mostly do, is great. To put oneself together as nicely as possible, and then focus on a loving attitude toward others - which usually results in a smile, a word of encouragement or compliment, from the heart. My prayer is that God would use me in any way He wants and even though I'm growing older, He still has a plan! And more and more, I don't want to miss an opportunity He gives. You reminded me of that in your sweet understanding of some of our challenges. He is not finished with us yet, and we don't have to be frumpy while He's working with us!! God bless you and much love, Nancy Oyer (from Berkeley, CA, can you believe it?!)

My friend's mum is in her nineties and recently lost a lot of hair due to ill health. Her hairdresser gave her a spiky pixie cut that looks great and really boosted her confidence. She is on the mend now and hopefully her hair will grow back.

I immediately loved everything about this, even though I'm guilty of many. Plus, you have wonderful 'presence', gentle and kind, and that really comes across when you speak to your viewers. Thank you. :)

So true about posture! I work on my posture with upper back strengthening, Pilates, etc. But as Kay says, we have to practice! I try to practice good posture as much as possible, but one thing that really helps is, if I notice someone out & about with a slump, I use their bad posture as a positive reminder to improve my own posture right then & there (and not to think negative things about the other person). Also, good reminder to make a habit of a pleasant expression!

I loved this video, Kay as I do all of them, but the part about the hair made me LOL! Also, the shoes really resonated with me bc I’ve suffered severe Rheumatoid Arthritis since the age of 23 and it all began with my feet and though through a fused ankle surgery in my right ankle in my early 30’s they’ve really done well, I am now battling some knee issues in my right knee at 56 and I happen to LOVE shoes!!! Oh, Lordy do I love shoes and bags, and GOOD ones! Haha! But you’re absolutely right about it being better to have 3-6 GOOD pairs vs a closet full of “less than” pairs! It is amazing what a good pair of shoes can do for our entire body! Thank you for all you do, my friend! You are such a blessing in so many ways! Hugs!

These are very good suggestions, Kay. I can identify with each one. Sometimes while dressing for my day, I am aware of the frump, but I don’t always know what to do to improve my look. Thank you for taking the time to explain each point with kindness and practicality. God bless you.

Thank you for this! I was out shopping today and had a sweater in my hand . . . and asked my friend if she thought it would make me look frumpy. She made a face . . . and that is all I needed to know. Style is not one of my strong suits . . .but I picked up a couple of tips from this to really help . . . such as staying with just a couple of colors and making sure not to be "totally" classic with what you have on. Thanks again. Very timely and helpful!

Loved the hair tip! Never really thought about that. My hair care line has something for 'root lift' and something for 'smoothing'. Sounds like the perfect match!

You made me laugh so much especially when talking about our natural face. Yes I too have noticed that sad ,tired look on my face and of course I don't like it. A long time ago I heard or read that just putting a smile on one's face can take ten years off. I think it is true and anyway this world could use a few more smiling faces!!!

GREAT advice Kay! Especially about paring things down as we age.

Kay, this was fun to watch. I've just turned 65, lead a simple life, generally wear casual, sporty clothes, and I don't often get dressed really up unless there's a special occasion. So it's easy to fall into the frumpy zone. I do try to look my best when I go shopping or to a leisure activity like a concert, lecture, play, appointments, etc. My hair is naturally grey, cut into a pixie style. I do have shoe troubles so don't wear the most stylish but try to not look too dowdy; no high heels ever... I appreciated and was amused by your use of the word shlumpy- it's Yiddish. As it sounds, so it is and is best avoided in public, for sure. Thanks for your friendly tips and manner.

Thank you for all the tips. I just flatironed the ends of my bobbed hair and it really changed the look

Thank you so much Kay ❤️ I LOVED the way you communicated today's video. I am a few yrs younger than you and thank God for how you always encourage my heart. God bless you AND your sweet supportive husband 🥰

Whew…I am on major frump mode today. I have a terrible cold so I did a few things to help me feel better. Took a hot shower this morning, moisturized my face with 49 layers of cream & mask, put on a cute matching lounge set & I pulled out my new Kate Spade slippers. Tomorrow I’m going to find the energy to manicure/pedicure my nails. 💅🏼 I really loved this video, the one thing I tend not to do for myself is keep a cute haircut. I am working on changing that. Thank you Kay for your kind words ❤🎃

Yoga can really help with posture and strength which in turn helps your posture, you can do everything in a Chair yoga class that you can do in a regular class. There are some great classes on-line if you're not keen on going along to one in person to begin with.

Great suggestions, Kay. I'm south of 65 and still work in an office full time. It's so easy to get lazy and start "throwing" on whatever is handy. And I can proudly say I do dress monochrome.

Oh Kay you made me cry. Your words and manner were so gracious and encouraging. I am recovering from very recent hip replacement surgery and know that I have to make a real effort to ‘get up and at ‘‘em again ‘. I found your five points very helpful and realised where and how I was going wrong with my choices. Particularly hair , but all areas really. Thank you for all you do and the wise advice.😊

My husband officiated at a wedding this last weekend. It was a beautiful setting, I loved my dress, my shoes, my fancy sweater - everything but my hair. For some reason I felt frumpy! And now looking back at the photos I see that you nailed the reason, I had too much curl and volume around my neck. So here is a fun challenge - show us how you achieve your relevant and modern style on one side of your head and show us how you also got that ROUNDED look on the other. It would be so educational, if you could do it without laughing.

Great advice - love the ‘all classics’ advice and the posture, in particular - you could really notice the difference when you put your shoulders back and also, you smiled. I am going to smile more often, it makes such a difference. I’m 70 btw and live in Wales, UK.

Dear Kay, I love your suggestions they are simple and realistic…:) I love the way you deliver your message to us older gals… I am old school for sure. I will be 65 years young soon. If you feel good about yourself it will shine through from heart to toe. I literally did not feel one bit frumpy until a few months ago. I retired almost a year ago and am on a marathon to get my new life in order if you will. It’s been a challenge at times as I worked for 50 years… I believe you can look good at any age. My mother would say remember to tell yourself that you are worthy of all the good things that life has to offer… I love clothes shoes accessories etc… I am so delighted to have come across your video…as I am in the largest transition of my life and appreciate all the tips you have to offer. What worked before may not work anymore and thats okay. Different ways are not wrong they are just different .. I say make it fun. Don’t go forward in fear to the changes embrace what works and leave the rest. Positive thoughts 🥀❤️🥀🕊️ D :)…