Downhill we go.. again 

I feel this. It's the constant feeling of failure and then the emptiness that comes with it. I've just been diagnosed in June at the age of 49. I was a single mum of three girls and I really do not know how I did it. It's a constant fight to regulate. Beautiful BPD is who you are same with me. I wish i could talk to you. Support you on your journey. You can do things I'm going my MA in sociology we are very capable. However we need to look after ourselves and each other. Please reach out. Much love xxx

I’m so glad you are recording and if I could I would sit in the car and listen. I understand this feeling. I’m proud of you continuing the hard work, and it’s ok to take a moment and just process and work that shit out.

So happy that I found your channel. I love you from another bpd life rider. ♥

Hiya, don’t give up, you have a lot to offer us. It will not go away but your ability to manage it will get better . You have great strength and talent, try to remember that. ❤️‍🩹 👊🏼

Thanks for sharing. It's rough some days. Someone told me once that finding your true love feels very calming. A "true love" doesn't feel like your heart is racing and your palms are clammy. When you find "true love" it feels calm. True love is a muze, a friend, a breath, a ..., what ever calms the strom in you. We've chatted a bit. Some days r rough. I seek out my "true love" on days like these. I don't know when my next storm will come but when it does i will focus on my "true love", the present and wait for the storm to pass. Chat me up sometime. 😎👍

Just remember, you're in treatment that's working now, so your ability to push through depressive spells is only getting better. You might also consider this as an episode of you self-sabotaging your own career. Maybe seeing this issue as it begins can help you find motivation to keep going because you're now on a journey you weren't on before, and you're able to see potential problems before they are out of control. Please keep trying! You're worth the effort. Your videos are really great. Thank you for sharing, even when it's a very bad day. ❤

Hope your OK I get what your saying, I have EUPD and depressive disorder, and I'm struggling and don't see away out but hopefully we can get through it I've got home treatment team seeing me. It's hard but here if u need to chat we can help each other xx

Don’t panic yourself about the long term client stuff, tattoos are a healing and beautiful thing and you’re going to change so many lives with it .The worlds a mess and you’re doing your best. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and take babysteps! You’re not letting anyone down , bpd is just fucking inconvenient and shit haha, you’re doing amazing 💖

sending some love and support 💕

I honestly hope this message finds you and gives you some hope. Moment by moment my friend ✨

Hi beautiful! I just seen your video.

The first time I felt safe in this world was when I was making enough money to be confident that I could rent my own place no problem, if the landlord was a prick I could afford to tell him so and immediately leave and not care about the deposit or stay if I wanted and pay a solicitor to deal with him and I was doing work that I was confident doing that I knew I could do pretty much anywhere and if I found myself in a job where I didn't like or trust my colleagues I could just go and work somewhere else and I had enough money left over to put away for a retirement somewhere if I managed to live that long which, frankly, I had no intention of doing up until that point. Because then I felt like I could choose who I had in my life so that was the first time I'd ever imagined what it might be like to live without fear of being dependant on or unable to escape people who, so far as I knew from my experience, were probably murderers or molesters just waiting for their opportunity to strike. I can't articulate the difference it makes, I think David Goggins does a decent job of it and I mention him because he often says that there is no way out but through. I mention Goggins rather than, like Jocko Willink, because if I had to bet if any of these motivational types know the difference between BPD pain and not-BPD person pain I'd bet on him. How can the man have such a high physical pain threshold? Well, if you're in that much emotional pain anyway the physical pain doesn't make as much difference, in fact sometimes it's actually a relief. I'm blethering on about all this in order to work my way round to pointing out that having a goal in sight makes the present pain more bearable and it seems to me that you're already on a path to where I found my confidence. The financial and employment and therefore personal independence place. It seems to me like you're so close already and I know what it's like to be unable to believe that it exists and to fear that if you even try for it you'll trigger some circumstance that will only only make things worse but please be like Goggins, use your negative emotions as fuel, take the shortest path to financial independence that is available to you and your life will seem so much less painful, I promise. It doesn't cure BPD, unfortunately, but simply knowing that everyone who is in your life is only there because you choose to share it with them, more or less, made a huge difference for me and I don't know you from Eve but I hope that it could do the same for you. Anyway, I've gotten into a bad habit of leaving ridiculously long comments on BPD peoples videos sharing links to BPD positive resources on RU-vid such as Dr Daniel Fox, who is awesome, Borderliner Notes who is also awesome and interviews other awesome BPD positive people such as Peter Fonagy and now On The Line as well as she is a BPD person training to be a psychotherapist and she seems pretty cool. I can't find her by searching so I'll leave a link ru-vid.com/show-UCrxf6FJM-l9lRbLt1FmmpIg Anyway, stay safe, look after yourself and believe in better.

See you tomz darling me an mum coming to see ya