For me its the opposite i am more than whilling to wast a day and so i wasted the last 3 years. I am just 16 but still i feel like im wortheless and cabt do anything right. Giving up on my goals even before the work has started.
@@joaoreis185 Dude if you're 16 and you already realize that you have problem and you try to improve by watching dr. K or searching for some self help then you're already way, way ahead of me. Be proud of yourself!
Dealing with that one is definitely something I’ve got a still learn....But hey if you figure it out before I do please remember this thread somewhere in the back of your mind 😊😊😊
Hey, If the circumstances are awful, of course you wont be resistant to frustration. You're doing your best even though things suck and it gets worse due to a mistake or due to someone else's incompetence... It feels really unfair.
@@lunar686If it's in the context of study or work. Just remember the feeling of frustration basically means your making progress. You'll start to take joy in the frustration knowing you're doing your best and not diverting your attention. Can be similar to delayed onset muscle soreness in the gym when you feel super sore the days after. If you reframe it to understand how much you've accomplished or are accomplishing with that feeling, you grow to absolutely love feeling sore like that. Alternatively hunger could be another one although still comes from a gym focus on cutting. Slight hunger within healthy calorie deficit can be a persistent reminder that you're succeeding in your diet.
@@Zane-zz5ht no idea why you used a ‘training’ analogy...but...thank you for your psychic powers 🙂!!! Didn’t actually realise that there were already aspects of my life I was already successfully applying this to. Not saying I have the tolerance of a gym-junkie, lol I’m a former national athlete actually and slowly learning about all the things I didn’t know that I kinda wish I had known when I was competing, so don’t seem to know as much as the people at the gym doing bodybuilding, lol used to think I was putting my body to the best tests, now I’m learning that there is so much more that can be learned and unlocked (even if I’m not as young and injury free as I used to be, I weirdly like the challenge of what the current version of me can do, plus I get to show off a little by asking coach ‘which’ bicep head he wanted me to build up back in the day lmfao)... So yeah, honestly thank you for that one. Makes it easier to remember and look out for
@@dariovdo3237me too. I knew about him but always procrastinated cuz the video's were too long. Meanwhile I would watch hour long videos of my fav entertainment youtubers. But I am so glad I built up the motivation to give it a try and just kept on going because I kept on finding solutions to my sufferings and what was not letting me do it, helping me along the journey
reminds me of when I was in HS. i had a big art project I kept putting off because I didn’t think it would turn out good. my art teacher said “I’m giving you the weekend but it has to be turned in Monday, finished or not”. she was actually being nice and giving me more time bc it was already late. so my mom makes me sit down at the table and I wasn’t allowed to do anything except paint. it was barely worked on. i didn’t wanna do it at all. but guess what? eventually I just started painting because of boredom. i ended up finishing my whole painting (it was pretty big) and turned it in that monday. the look on my art teachers face that morning lol she didn’t think I’d finish it, hell I didn’t even think I would. it ended up being put into a college art contest and I won 1st place. someone even offered to buy it from me. definitely gonna start practicing this method more! ☺️
I finally realize why dr. K timing is so perfect... it's because 99% of his videos are relatable to something we are doing wrong and we try to be better so of course the timing will be always perfect.
Confirmation bias is probably at play here as well. I'm sure there are a ton of times the video's timing isn't perfect, it might be about a problem you're not struggling with particularly at the time, but you don't think much about it. When they do relate to something you're going through at the moment, you think the timing is perfect. Most of these issues happen over long periods of time, too, so there's a higher chance that a video is about something you're going through.
I just realized that the "mind" in this case, is basically your inner child. It wants to do anything but be serious, and like a child you might raise irl, you have to consciously create circumstances where they have to do the one thing they never want to do. The child will cry, lash out, say mean things, and get clever to get what they want, but ultimately it's up to you to stand your ground. Thank you Doctor K for explaining the "mind" and "self" in a way that I could understand, and hopefully, get shit I want done, done lol.
People usually say "monkey mind", emphasizing the restlessness of it. Both aspects are important, but I like your child analogy for emphasis on the devious / manipulative aspects.
i taech kids the piano and they can't stand the boring slow repetition... Even if that's really the only thing you have to do to learn pinao, get your mind muscle memory on point xD They get so restless and manipulative, indeed just like the "monkey mind" I had never thought about it... Usually what i do is I try to change the piano instrument (to violin for example) and add a dummer so that they don't get bored Anyway now i find it creepy how children are basically raw "minds" going around and about...
@@Herosoyyo2 Personally, What I like te most about the child analogy is how, in relation to the child, the self would be the parent. And in a way, that gives me more clarity about how I should treat my mind.
@@sidonelmet6501 Parent can be another aspect of the mind, potentially just as harmful as the child. Most common situation is the normative parent, which is your mind telling you what you should do with little regard for what you want to do. Of course very helpful, but can lead to shame and anxiety when the shoulds are impossible to fulfill. The self is usually referred to as the rational adult, which makes sense for both of the relationships it should have with the parent and the child.
Takeaways: →Acknowledge the different parts of you (the self and the mind). → Hard reset : delete the options of productive & dopamine and reduce it to work & boredom. → Analyze whether the productive action is scheduled or an antidote to boredom. → Check what is driving your action through self introspection. → The self has to overcome the trickery of the mind. → Sometimes you should be willing to waste a day so that you don’t waste years.
@@togfanatic3781 It most definitely is a kid. It wants what it can't have, it's highly egotistical, it always wants what it wants right now but if you ask it what it wants it'll never know. I could go on & on but we get the gist. 😂😂😂
"We're gonna waste the whole day? Let's do that." That one sentence felt so weirdly empowering to hear, like the whole time I've been feeling like I'm wasting day after day and feeling guilty about it, it's as if this time, by getting out and confronting my mind about it and showing it that THAT WAS A CHOICE WE MADE, suddenly my mind starts to take accountability for that and squirms and tries to do something else. Seeing yourself really is the first and most important step in getting control of yourself.
He's talking about the studies with schizophrenia, I am living proof of how it can work. I got schizo about 10 years ago, and spent about 8 of those years doing nothing much, not having motivation to do anything productive or positive or in any way live life(it's called avolition). But now I'm in therapy and I'm working on these variables and my life is totally different. I'm exercising, doing hobbies, meditating, cleaning, *actually showering on a regular basis*, and tons more. I felt hopeless for so long and now it's insane how much better I feel and how much better my life is.
To try to understand and "hack" my ADHD, I have watched countless videos, listened to dozens of podcasts, conducted hours upon hours of reaearch, seen therapists and psychiatrists, and paid for special courses/workbooks. This video, above all else, has been the greatest revelation for me. All of it. I could go on and on, but I have work to do and it's time to follow the advice in this video and give myself two options: do the work or be bored. Let's go!!! Thank you for all of your content, Dr. K!!!
15:40 ‘So when my dad was in medical school he had a rule for himself. That if he didn't feel like studying, and he taught me this rule by the way if he didn't feel like studying he wouldn't study. He was allowed to sleep as much as he wanted to, he was allowed to sit there and do nothing as much as he wanted to but those were his only two options besides studying. That's it nothing else.’
I was doing that "I will stare at a wall until Im really bored" and it really works...I should start doing it again, since obviously more people think thats a quite good strategy
I can’t believe these videos are up for free, I wish I found this channel earlier because it’s provided me so much value already! Dr. K’s lessons have really changed the way I see myself and they’ve taught me so much about how my mind works. Really appreciate the time the team puts into these ♥️
Ever since the pandemic started, this became a habit of mine. I'm just constantly finding excuses or distracting myself over the chores I need to do. Even at work I just make things take longer that they need to and that leads me to "stay working late" when in reality I did my task in 30 minutes with an hour of distraction every five minutes. Heck, even writing this comment is distracting me from my tasks! I'm going to start applying this method asap!
Quick update, I was just fired from my job because I was so efficient that finished the project faster than anticipated and they no longer needed my services. 🫠
Heard plenty of times that boredom can be the problem AND the solution. The real solution here was to mold the environment so the "productive thing" was the only thing you were allowed to do when you were bored. If that means not having an internet connection and only having a single program on your device that lets you do the work you need to do that you must be, so be it. If the work is something you're absolutely passionate about, the challenge is reasonable enough to push you to your limits, the reward is immediate+obvious and points you towards doing even better work, and the time constraint is just enough to force yourself to do absolutely nothing but that task, that should be a recipe for flow perfection. Flowmadoro (modified tomadoro where you count up time instead of count down and the break is equal to the time working divided by 3) should do wonders with this kind of environment.
so say i did 21 minutes of work, would i then have 7 mins of break? and then 60 mins of work, I would have 20 after that? does it have to be the same each time
10:37 Frontal Lobe 11:36 Work v Boredom v Productive v Dopaminic 15:25 Power of Boredom 15:41 Tunnel Vision or Idle (Boredom) 18:39 Productivity not framed as Off-Track 20:32 Sitting with the Self (Our Thoughts & Emotions) 23:53 All Roads Lead to One Place (Not Work) 25:58 The Mind is on our side, It just needs to Trust 28:43 other: A Pure Self in Existence
Ah, this makes so much sense. Before the pandemic, when I had a physical work environment I was obligated to go to, I only had 2 options at work: work or be bored. The layout of our office was open air, so all desks and computers were out in the open and you were surrounded by your coworkers. If you were tempted to play games on your work computer or go on your phone, you'd probably get weird looks and feel socially out of place, so those 2 options - "productivity" or "dopaminergic" weren't actual options for you to partake. You were forced to do either work or nothing. And that's why I was actually productive at work and why my productivity is shot working from home. DAMN.
Oh yes, you've nailed it. And I have been self employed all my life, with a rare hired hand/"co-worker" to create the frame to stay focused. So I didn't work for the Man, but I also didn't work for myself, really, but for my 'mind', once the strong wish to please my paying clients started to wane and retirement lifestyle became more the norm (started working from home - final nail)
almost every time I'm like: huh thats a problem I should probably look for some drK vids about that" tey pose the exact video I was going to look for. they have
This video is one of Dr K's best yet. The idea of challenging yourself to a boredom contest is incredible. Definitely a new tactic I'm going to experiment with
This is brilliant. I never tried thinking of my "self" and my "mind" as separate entities. This approach sounds like it might actually work perfectly with an erratic brain like mine, so I'll definitely implement that.
Don't just think it that way, SEE it that way. Observe thoughts as often as possible until it's too damn obvious that they are impermanent, dissatisfactory, and ain't you ;) That is liberation!
^ Yeah funnily enough the fundamental goal of practically most Indian spiritual disciplines is to 100% know you are not your body and not your mind, (and further not an individual personality but are actually all of existence itself).
Literally god-tier timing! I failed my cert exam that I'd been studying for all year in July and I was so crushed that I took the month off. I set August 1st as the day I'd get back studying but I wasn't fully committed, certain, or confident until I watched this video. Thank you Dr. K and the rest of HG for all y'all do 🙏🏿
This bloke is legit. Hard-hitting truth but needed to hear it. Feeling frustrated, lack of confidence and restless due to a resistance to getting stuff done. Glad to be a part of this network.
Literally, I'm starting another monthly class today and I'm already like "wow I'm having to do all these things and I can't focus on the actual important thing."
This explains so much. When i was in elementary and high school, the teachers would make you sit there in boredom OR do your work. With that motivating factor I was an amazingly focused student. Once I got to university and professors and friends were not concerned with what I did, because it was my responsibility, my focus drastically fell off. And I ended up easily distracted by games, and literally anything else. Fast forward to 34, and I still play this chicken game on the daily. Really insightful
Dr. K has been fundamental in getting me to stop wasting my time away. The best takeaway I've had is to turn down the valence of and my exposure to the things I would fall back to for dopamine dumps; to just shut them out. Then the joy of doing things that used to be boring slowly bubbles up. I come back to his videos for continued encouragement and confirmation, but otherwise I'm essentially doing what I always wanted to but never could bring myself to.
I think that last 5 minutes is really critical. Believing you can do something generates motivation. As soon as my brain fog lifted and i could think clearly and plan, i could see a path for myself, which created belief in myself to follow through, which created motivation.
I just started writing my last 2 essays for university and my deadline is on the 9th and then this notification hit, guess who is not doing their work right now 😫
Here's a tip: set a timer for a small amoujt of time. 15 minutes. Maybe even 10. For those 10 minutes, ONLY prioritize the important stuff. Get started on the essay and add a little more to it. Once it's over, take a break and do something else for a bit. Come back afterward and set the timer again, and do it from the top. It helps me pretty often.
@@ケルニコ I'll hold you to that! I made some progress today and I'm hoping to continue that through tonight but I'm working a lot this week so hopefully in my downtime I can get some more done :)
@@iSoryu Hi mate, I've got two hours left today, but I wrote a page. Although my mind brought me here :D So I gotta get back. Hope you're doing fine ;-)
I'm a sculptor and artists deal with this a lot. Art block. Creative block. The solution that artists have come up with is just "do more art" (one of them). If you have a commission you don't want to do right now, just get yourself to do something else related to your work. Draw something, sculpt something. Doesn't matter what, doesn't matter how good, it's just a matter of working in order to power through your brain wanting to procrastinate. Do that for a bit and then you'll much more easily get back into the work you NEED to do. In a way that teaches your brain not to go to "play games woooo" but instead go to "art must be done". It's why a lot of artists do morning practices, too. If you have to start working at 9am, then do something else to warm up from 8:30 to 9. It puts you in the zone instead of looking for ways to run away from the zone hahah This can also sometimes tie in with "let yourself be bored". Sometimes you can just fuck around with art. Do some abstract, stupid stuff and at some point your brain switches into creative mode cuz it sees something it likes. And when you switch back into that creative mode you can start working. :D Don't know, just some thoughts. I think that artists have come up with a lot of ways to combat procrastination and creative blocks, and a lot of those techniques can be transferred to other professions, too. The frustration for a lot of artists is that we WANT to do the art but sometimes we can't get ourselves to do it. Which is a strong motivator to find a solution.
This topic goes hand in hand with people who struggle with feeling like your work or projects aren't going to be good enough or aren't perfect. I typically can start a project and focus on 80% of it until the final stretch where the doubt starts to creep in wondering if this is good enough. Then the allure of putting off the work to do other non boring things starts to become really hard to ignore.
This is amazing! I love the way Dr K breaks down the “how do I work? question. It’s giving me the “rules” that no one taught me. “Understanding” leads to real change of patterns.
Fantastic and hyper useful video. It explains very well the distraction mechanisms, the "willpower" issues and misleading hypothesis, in particular for ADHD affected brains. Accepting, facing boredom is the first solution key. Perseverance, failure tolerance, resilience, delayed gratification, all the well known keys to success require accepting boredom, and related pain or discomfort. Perseverance is boredom in essence.
Thanks! It’s exhaustive for me to try and stay grounded. It’s like I have my own little world in my head, and I find myself almost exclusively day dreaming. I used to enjoy it, but I find it getting darker and darker. Now it’s like a “daymare.” Anyone else experienced this before?
I relate 100%. I'm a huge maldaptative daydreamer, it can quite literally ruin your life. Atleast I'm aware that I'm not normal and I'm trying to fix not living in my head all the time.
This is super interesting, I have ADHD and instead of being bored . I meditate . When I am done meditating my mind is happy to to anything but meditate and I can work for a while. I am glad now I know how this works.
It's so weird for me. I thought I would take some time off, make a vacation week and do nothing, just relaxing and freeing the mind, because I got nothing done and every day was like a "unwilling to work" day. But on day two of my vacation I was so bored and full of energy that I did not want to waste any more time and work again.
Could be a combination of things I've been hearing/thinking about lately, but I feel like this may be the single most helpful video I've watched on the channel. Being able to accept frustration and not give your brain an alternative. I've always thought of my brain and conscious and 2 separate entities so this actually makes a lot of sense, even in therapy I say things like "My brain wants to tell you this"
I was thinking about back in school when I would sleep instead of going to class, and thinking I would put work beneath boredom on the totem pole- but I realized that I was only sleeping long enough for it to be too late to drive to class before getting up and playing games or watching youtube while feeling guilty instead.
This may be the first RU-vid video I've ever watched that was a net gain in attention directed towards desired tasks. It was not entirely the jivey, fundamentally hollow motivational speaking I have come to expect from popular YT content at large.
he really does have the power to know when we need these videos the most. this is the exact thing i was researching within myself this past week, and it's comforting to know he hits on the same points that i have hit just observing myself. plus, it adds some extra context and better wording to what i've been trying to pinpoint. definitely will be trying the hardcore method of doing nothing or napping instead of being productive. i would also recommend to be very careful of your mental diet. don't start new tv shows that you can binge or long video games, as that adds competition to the tasks that you actually need to do. tasks that have a defined end and don't "continue" for long periods of time (chess, movies, informative books, etc.) would be better. it's like choosing not to buy particular snacks and have them in your pantry because you know you're going to eat them. amazing video, once again.
the last years really made me realize how damaging smarphones and social media can be. To be honest. I think most people would be better off without it.
@@maximilianogranifo9650 as someone who loves tech I couldnt agree more. However as I grew older I saw a pattern that these things affected my personally as well as others and mostly not for the best. I love it for the things you can interact with many people and learn stuff but it is a double edged sword.
moderation is key. i'd much rather have smartphones than not due to how much simpler they've made our lives, but moderation should be taught. i wonder what a society that relies on tech would look like if moderation was a key principle everyone had to learn before engaging with technology. imagine if there was an age limit to the access of tech or some moderation test. sounds kinda messed up now that i think about it, but definitely an interesting thought 🤔
@@throwaway9347 yes, sadly most apps and services these days are build from the ground up to exploit human psyche. The more I grew conscious of this stuff the more modest my behaviour became. But many people do not care and it eats their life away.
I can't even imagine having that level of control of myself. I simply stop functioning when I get significantly frustrated. No wonder I don't like being alive. I was taught to not waste the day, now I feel I already have wasted my life and all my potential.
What’s funny is how we’ve all heard this advice before, but it’s always been in the form of “just sit down and do it.” It’s framed as we just another task we have, to will our mind to work and that’s all you need to do. Just sit there until you do the work. But that’s what we’re already thinking. That fact you framed this as “training” ourselves makes so much fucking sense! Before when it’s just “sit down and do it” we still feel we are wasting our time and every moment is another we can’t focus. But if we are training our mind, then every moment is productive towards that training. There’s also less urgency because saying “just do it” implies it should be immediate. But when you are training, it will take time. Thank you again Dr K
15:50 yeah i´ve heard about this like 2 years ago from someone else, it was explained very similarly and it was called "dopamine detox". The point is the bar of your dopamine income is passively set too high (from constant stimul through all the "fun" stuff you are doing through the day / week / month / year or lifetime), the dopamine detox then means ur basically forcing yourself to be bored, so your passively high thirst for dopamine will decrease over the boring phase and then even the seemingly "hard" work seems fine and you will enjoy doing it, because the bar for getting the good vibes and enjoyment will be set lower, the enjoyment should lead to that you will also concentrate better. Through the forced boredom process ur allowed to sleep, or meditate or just "to be", but ur not allowed to watch n scroll sh*t, listen to music, eat, beat the meat etc., if ur willing to be really hardcore, you shouldnt even talk to anybody, which for me personally wasn´t problem at all, because i live alone. It helped me alot, since then i dont use facebook and i gave up on most of the other social bullcrap apps that make you scroll for 3 hours straight and watch videos with puppies or some south american dudes building a pool from dirt in the middle of a jungle, since then i am alot more productive and i can get stuff done if i want to.
One of the most slippery things that my mind ever did was decide that it didn't need any external stimuli to avoid boredom. Daydreaming, reminiscing, game theorycrafting, and reciting songs are all enough to keep it entertained to avoid getting work done. I suppose the solution to that has to just be shutting down any of those thought patterns if I find them popping up while I'm trying to get work done, though it's a bit harder than just cutting off access to video games, chores, and other distractions.
These videos are god sent. They give me a new perspective on everything! I end up forgetting most of it usually, but even the small things that stuck with me help me out :) Thank you Dr. K. and thank you HealthyGamerGG!
This is the best Dr K video hands down. It might not be the most entertaining one but the answer is here. The rest is on me. I don’t need to watch RU-vid anymore looking for answers. This is practical. I love the way he gets to the root of it and put it in words. Wow it’s more explanatory than “just get disciplined” and more practical.
I instinctively started doing this with my toddler at dinner. She wanted to play instead of eat, and she would become hungry at bedtime. So I told her she could eat, stay at the table, or get ready for bed. I also know “distractions bad”. But I never put together the scope of what a distraction can be.
As soon as K started explaining the mind's priority model, my actual mind became nervous and feeling threatened, even though I myself felt motivated, in comfort knowing it makes perfect sense. It is pretty insane.
Man this video literally just changed my life. Without going into detail of my life story, through this video I had a realisation that answered a question that I've been struggling to answer for more than 6 years. The answer has literally been sitting right in front of me for all these years and I've just had that moment where all the pieces fall into place. Thank you so much
I cannot get this to work and I identified two reasons: 1. I need really long to get bored. I can easily sit and do nothing for a weekend (Not going for a walk no music no nothing. I learned this skill through intensive Vipassana retreats) 2. I can sleep and daydream for hours on end. If I do not do the above and just observe, I can slip into daydreams and fictional stories in my mind for basically ever. Does anyone have an idea ? I would be really glad for anything :)
PLEASE, as a continuation of this... when you are burnt out and recovering, how do you know how when you can start working again, how much- and which work you can do? Im struggling, and my psychologist just advices me to rest. But my brain gets stressed/restless by longer periods of resting and fatigued very quickly when focusing on work (working as a PhD student). Physical activity helps to a certain point... so I work out twice a week, often take small walks and play games casually during my sick leave. Only to get fatigued by that too + issues with sleep. Im a high functioning autistic with some ADD traits and I have no clue what to do.
Dr K i was so overwhelmed with so many emotions while listening to your explanations. I was crying and smiling at the same time Imao. I am really sad that i never looked at this way always cleaning it up 😂 thinking at least i am not wasting my day it's been years now! I am so happy and greatful for you for making this so useful info free of cost and i will work on it and gonna join your club with my first salary for sure! Love you so much!! 😭✨
Last night , I was watch John Oliver talking about mental health therapy in the US. How difficult to find the right person. Or how expensive is it. Thank dr. K for some helpful information about various types of issues. Something, when you go to the therapist you don't have a ideas on what topics to talk during the section. Most difficult part of" do something "is starting the thing. Once you start it. It get easier. You can replace "the thing " with exercise, learning Japanese or learning about computer.
If only I heard of this lecture a couple years earlier… Talking about focusing and productivity with my counsellors, tutors, mental advisors, friends, etc. all don’t give as concrete explanations and advices as this 40 minutes talk. At least I can use the remainder of my Master’s degree and future careers with these techniques, because I have been very unconfident with my productivity. I absolutely needed this now. Thanks very much Dr. K!
I had to write a whole paper (I wrote a 4 pages long essay) on what makes you, you. It's one of the reasons why my philosophy class is my favorite because I can talk about all the things that my mind created around a subject or question. I'm going to study philosophy in two years :D
this is insanely like mind breaking to me?? i feel more aware of the mind being “in control” so often. This was so helpful ty dr.k i am going to try ur methods out
A year ago I wouldn't be able to apply this to my life, but now after watching this channel for a while and learning all these awesome things I actually live by what's presented in the video and this information is kinda trivial to me. That's nice :)
Thanks. Somehow, you were able nail the exact problems which has, for quite a number of years, prevented me from getting anything significant done. I can only hope, to put these teachings in practice, to improve myself.
Sometimes, Dr. K says something so profound, I have to go back thirty seconds just so I know I understood what he said. That last 2 minutes seriously changed my perspective on relationships and who I “know” can get with, and who I “think” I can get with. Insane
First five-ten minutes, I didn’t know if he was going to say anything. I kept watching because the comments sold me. SO worth it!! I learned so much in the second half of this video. Thank you so much!
This sounds great. Problem is, whenever I try to do what I should be doing and remove all distactors, my mind begin to wander. And if I really force myself... I fall asleep. Almost automatically.
I like the idea of not allowing myself to do anything but sleep, be bored or work when I have something I need to work on. As someone with an active and vivid imagination, I will have to train myself not to go there when I'm bored. For me, the period of boredom will have a mindful meditative quality to it.
This is literally the most helpful video i’ve ever seen in my life. You are so knowledgeable; Thank you so much for extending your knowledge with me. I’ve wasted two years of my life and couldn’t understand how to break myself out of that cycle. You opened my eyes to another way of viewing myself and my minds patterns. I especially connected with the concept of different roads leading to the same outcome; no work. My mind constantly brings up random excuses to not work, which leads me to not wanting to waste the day; which leads me to going out and “having fun”. I can also see this same pattern in my addictions as well. Understanding the mind separate from the self is a concept ive never actually took into consideration until now.
I had heard about your modules but figured they'd cost an arm and a leg like every other module or class people offer online. Absolutely SHOCKED that each module is only $20. Dr. K.... Thank you so much.
I had watched EVERY VOD from their stream when I purchased the meditation module. I didn't learn anything new, but it was nice and worth the price having it all summed up and nicely divided and titled. I've already pre-ordered the new module.
You are the king of “Let’s break it down” First person I have come across that really breaks it down to the smallest atom possible. I love it. You’re a godsend. Thank you. ❤
I'm 40. My mind played that game every day since I discovered vidya at about 8. I've beaten opiates, but video games have been far more insidious and destructive. This is invaluable.
16:29 THIS is brilliant. All of what you say, your sense of humor and the compassionate yet straight forward approach is breathing life into this 30-something nursing student with ADHD struggles. Thank you!
Good morning Dr. K I hope this message finds you well & having a great start to your day. 😃 I have been learning SOOO MUCH from your podcasts on ADHD. 🤯 I'm a 49 yo woman who was told as a child that I had ADHD unfortunately, I had a mom who refused to give me medication. My life has been a long battle & very difficult. During the past month, I've been dedicated to learning why I think the way I do (including the life-long trauma I've encountered with coping with ADHD & my shortcomings). I will say that your podcast has been, hands-down, the BEST at helping me understand my ADHD & I'm 🤯💯. I could list all the things I struggle with but I'll save you from that 😂. This podcast was just discussing the ability to focus & how to redirect your mindset, but veered off on the brain verses the mind & thought I'd add my 2 cents. We are all made in God's image (regardless of who chooses to acknowledge it). In keeping this simplistic, this is what man-kind is composed of: The Soul (mind/will/emotions aka our personality) The Body (for this conversation, our brain, but I also call it my flesh suite. Lol!) The Spirit (the core of who we are, our spirit is not physical). Thank you very much for sharing your gift of helping us understand why we think the way we do and giving us simple explanations & tools to navigate around our weaknesses so we can showcase our strengths. I'm eternally grateful & genuinely, humbly thank you!! 🎯💯❤️😃🙌 Until now, my ADHD has been living my life, dominating it. It is refreshing to learn how to take it back! And live BOLDLY (bc that is the inner person that I am). It won't be easy, I know, but I will continue to fight this with new techniques as I learn them. Thank you!❤
listening to this.... Can't tell even in english. I expirienced sensory explosion right now. I am me, but my brain isn't fully me. Holy shit. English is not my native language, but i'll try to explain what i felt when realised that mind and myself are separate entities. I felt happy for some reason. This made so much sence to me, i can't even grasp it fully. Now i understand how to treat myself.
Thanks for taking the time to explain in your non native language! 🙂 and I agree, this was one of the first times I've separately identified my mind and self and it is eye opening
This is excellent. I wish I could apply this at home. But since I was a kid I’ve found that it’s extremely difficult to get work done at home. So I often go to campus or off to a library a little drive away. The more of an efort i have to extend to take myself home from my place of study, the more likely I am to get work done there. Once I go home for the day I don’t wanna have to think about the things I didn’t get done. The practice lends a certain level of sacredness to the work. I have to get as much done and as much learned as possible while I’m at the library or on campus because once I get home, i wanna relax, I wanna be with my partner, presently and not ruminating on the work still left to do. While there I leave my phone in the backpack or in the car, I have a start time and I schedule the days classes and I try to have an end time by which I have to have met my goal. When this time comes, I pack up, plan the next day, go home and chill. I’ve found this effective since I was in high school.
Oh yeah, we've been starting to do that when we're depressed! And sometimes we just sleep for like 2 days straight and stare at the wall for another one. But it gets us out much faster than desperately trying to do *something*
A very interesting take to a common problem. We need to experience states of boredom and doing nothing more, and I like the use of I either rest or sit and do nothing if I cannot do this. We’re so overstimulated and trained to do fun things that reward us, that when we have to do not so fun things it’s harder to get through the grunt work. Often sleep deprivation can cause us to procrastinate too, especially if we’re overworking. I’m going to try to implement what you said because I need to retrain my brain. I also recommend for those struggling with this to check out the channel, struthless, he’s more art focused but talks about procrastination and ways to combat it. I realized I procrastinated on a lot of things for years because of my fear of failure or because my basic needs weren’t being met (sleep, food,etc.) it’s helped a lot. I can still struggle with things but I try to analyze why I’m behaving like that and sometimes all I need is a walk to clear my mind. I think getting to the root of it helps, currently I’ve been having trouble focusing, but I’m in the grieving process and working with my therapist on this so I’ve been giving myself slack. I’ve really been enjoying your discussions lately, especially the call ins of people asking for help, they’ve been very beneficial to what I’ve been dealing with. Not that I haven’t enjoyed your topics in the past, but they really hit home for me, so thank you for that!
Edit: Well I should have watched "How the World Makes Us Depressed" first, lol. Dr K delivers, yet again. Has there ever been a more realistic, grounded, rational human being on this earth??? I'd like to know WHY to focus. I find it hard to buy in on the idea that the effort needed to make more money than a normal person can make working a standard white-collar job while being a consistent worker is worth the time for the money. I'm 32 and I make 50K a year in IT w/ no degree, just 10+yr exp, yet I can barely pay rent. I'm moving back to my parents with my wife next month b/c the rental economy is so crushing in California... and not even the popular places. A mostly rural place 5 hours away from anything else. But I ALREADY feel maxed out, constantly down or defeated, feeling like I'm drowning in debt and always JUST scraping by. We had to put our cat down instead of get surgery b/c of the funds just last week. So my other option is... what, become an entrepreneur and 'hustle' 60hours a week for a CHANCE to maybe make more money eventually, all the while going against my values, interests, personality, and previous life goals as an introverted nerd? Screw that. If there's another point to focus, I would love to know, but I just don't see it currently.I have a hard time understanding what is being suggested by 'life advice' besides this, at least under capitalism. Not everyone WANTS to be an entrepreneur. It's not fair or OK for that to just be the end-all be-all of life. And it wasn't always (and still isn't in other countries) this way. Maybe I want to learn programming and make games, but it's the same problem. I can't afford to quit for my family, and I'm so drained from just scraping by. I try to learn but it doesn't go TOO well (ADHD), and, at best and most realistically, I could see making a mobile game in a year or two that gets me like a few thousand in ad revenue over years. I can't see how I could equal 50K/yr by following my dreams with focus ever, really. To join a company, I'm back in the same boat. Having to move to a super expensive-to-live place just to make more money doesn't seem like a winning preposition to me. Everything is just WAY too risky anymore because of the psychotic apocalyptic wealth disparity we have and the increasing funds to simply live, as A/C is becoming required, water is becoming scarce, landlords are evicting people at the drop of a hat, etc. I love Dr K and this video is good, but (And this is prob beyond the scope of a psychiatrist) I think that most life and financial/career advice out there in 2022 discounts the fact that the environment and economy is so suppressing for a normal adult, at least in the US. Chaotic instability is not a very great time to be taking risks to improve your life, p. much the foundation of society.
I agree! Well formulated and an important point. It's very easy to get swept up in motivational speakers and think that you have to hustle, but a lot of us simply don't want to become entreprenaurs. As you said so succinctly I feel like it's important to zoom out a bit and realize that the system is working against us a lot of the time.
Leave cali first no matter what u do they tax tf out of u. Some states dont have state tax im sure that would help a lot and since ur it u can prob find a remote job
This just taught me SO MUCH about myself. Thank you! Also gave me flashbacks to taking until 10pm on my writing TAKS test in highschool because I just “didn’t know what to write.” More like I didn’t want to, so my brain played the longcon. Nothing like having a teacher beg you to just write anything at all so they could get home to their family. The man was almost crying pleading to me to just write anything. I was crying too though. Lol. (I hadn’t been medicated for my severe ADHD yet at that time. That came the next year thankfully.) So glad I’m not in school anymore, but I find the same thing happening at work right now with some content I have to write. (My job has nothing to do with content - I did not choose this task for a reason! 😂) Thank you for this video. You explain everything so, so well! At least I know why I can’t start this content yet - I need to do more research so I feel more confident in writing anything at all! Gives me a place to just start. THANK YOU!
what is worse is when you do negative work. That is when you do the work, but it just causes more work to be done. This is very common with programmers.
The breakdown of how the person would operate during the day, then calling it a day after cleaning, then going straight to games is a perfect picture of me on some days.
Wow. This advice helped instantly. I was procrastinating through youtube, watched this video, paused it, did what i had to in couple of hours, and now can rest peacefully.
"Oh no it's the afternoon. The day is lost. Might as well play video games." I cannot express how accurate this is to my mindset every single day. It immediately starts when I wake up because I play Doom Eternal until like 5:30 in the morning and sleep until 2 or 3 pm. So the cycle just repeats every day. It's so hard to break it because I've been living like this for a few years now. I got so much shit to do but I only wanna do it if I can wake up early enough to have time to enjoy the afternoon after the work is done. So everytime that I wake up in mid afternoon, I'm like "Screw it. I've still got tomorrow to wake up earlier and start the cleaning that I need to do."
I cannot begin to express how much this just changed my whole life. I have been stuck in this cycle for years! And no one has explained the Self/Mind dynamic as clearly to me, or provided such straight-forward solutions, as you did here. (not even my therapist, who I actually like and who has helped me a lot). Thank you! Thank you!!!
I've found just giving myself something I enjoy for awhile actually helps me get out of the rut of not doing what I need to. If I don't have a constant stimulus I sleep. I'll sleep for 20hrs. I'll daydream for just as long. Deprivating myself of rewards doesn't fix this. If I can start I can often get through quite a bit, before taking a break. Regulating work and reward helps. What you're pushing contributes to burn out.
Thank you so much for this video, I didn't realize how much I could focus after crunching my options. Now, I can study for hours because it's either I study or do nothing. I'm bound to do something so this trick turned out successful. I'll ace my board exams!
I also came up with this method myself - to just sit and do nothing until I feel like working. But I thought it was stupid and didn't endure long enough. Now that you explained that it is not completely stupid, I'll try it again for real now. Let's see who can wait it out, me or the "mind". Thank you Doc 🙂
Ahh this reminds me of the "monkey mind" they talk about in meditation. Little monkey just wants to play around and do its own thing and absolutely never wants to sit still, but the practice of meditation is like "training" the monkey
