Dr. R.A. Vernon | What Men Really Want in Women! 

Rev Vernon, I may be late, but I am just watching your Podcast. My suggestion is to do a Podcast on why are black men are marrying out of their race at an alarming number. We are at the point of no longer preserving our race, because of excuses from black men that black women are difficult. However, black men create difficult energy. It pains me to hear you say their is a shortage, when there really is not a shortage, there is a mis-education of the significance of preserving our race with our young black men. I could go on, but the shortage is being brought on by our men not by any other reason. Blessings, Joyce Marie

I want to be married again I'm 53 and love to singing a hairstylist love the Lord.

Alvin what's that number

You have to compliment each other and be mindful of your differences and receptive to one another. Life happens to where a women or man didn't meet the grade to the satisfaction of another. If that's an issue then they are not for you if they can't meet you where you are at.

Time for a singles class with dinner afterward.

And some men from other countries are looking for a hand out and green cards “will they leave once they get what they want “?Im just saying what do you all think?

Send him to me

These men on here ain’t looking for women it’s to many out there

Amen Sis!

@@mirical4871 In some cases, yes, they will leave.

Outside the race really thats the best advice you can give SMH.

AMEN!

But the problem is this message is not communicated to men. As if men are so great that we have to lower our expectations to have them. No offense that’s garbage and it really is about puffing up men’s ego. Perhaps if they lower their ego and be more realistic about who they are and what they have to offer a woman they would be in a better position to have a wife.

@@la-nekabrown6825 It sounds like you’re saying the same thing Queen. 👑 He said lower our EXPECTATIONS, nOt our Standards. Meaning we should “be more realistic about who they are” just like you said. Like they already SEE & OWN their imperfect, WE SHOULD TOO!! JUST in case they never change, we won’t have FALSE HOPE & can make INFORMED DECISIONS to be with them OR NOT.

@@jamiejackson1780 When each of the men talked about their standards in a woman they were mostly superficial. What I would consider an expectation was their standard. They weren’t asked if they compromised on their expectations because the general thought is they don’t have to. In the video over and over and over again the message was Black women don’t have options so they need to lower their expectations. We all have flaws. I don’t think that’s the issue. For me, the issue is men’s desire to be wanted past their flaws doesn’t align with the levels of their standards. Mind you, I don’t believe that all men are as superficial as a guest on the panel. However, it is important to note the mentality that a lot of men have around expectations of women and their inability to meet those women’s standards. It’s most often times a mitch match and the women are the ones that are told they have to compromise and adjust. That’s a problem. We don’t train, prepare, support and hold accountable men, especially in the church, to do better and be better.

I couldn't agree more! A lot of conversations and not retreats or conventions.

I agree 🙋🏾‍♀️

I Plan to in my ministry

I have been praying about hosting something in that magnitude

This!!!

What makes a man fall in love? Physical attraction, sexual compatability, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

10 Things Men Find Attractive About Women 1. Embracing the style 2. Being an equal 3. Taking the lead 4. Being confident and smiling 5. Laugh at their jokes 6. Passionate women 7. Maintaining eye contact 8. You keep him intrigued 9. Living life to the fullest 10. Being a good listener and having intellectual conversations

This is wonderful!!! Thanks for sharing!

Absolutely , but are they the same! 🤔

These men definitely have issues. There are so many women who could easily fit their expectations. They’re probably not really interested in getting married.

Yessss

WE HAVE TO FOCUS ON THE LEADING OF THE THE HOLY SPIRIT ABOVE OUR PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

THIS MORE OF A SPIRITUAL ISSUE THAT A SOCIAL OR EMOTIONAL ISSUE .WHAT ABOUT THE HOLY GHOST????????

HOW DID MONEY COME UP.???,??????

You preaching. That’s usually what happens. They come to you bankrupt and broken

Also... Men talk about physical attraction, light skin, beauty, real hair... All that's wonderful... To each his own..BUT MEN need to keep it together too.. their hygiene needs to be up to par, their teeth, their breath fresh.. not having hair growing all out of their nose and ears... Keep themselves groomed. On the other hand.. you can have all that but you're a player trying prove you still got it... Men gotta keep it together too!

Each person has preferences. But, what is implied by the brother's statement, "nice light skin"? Is light skin indicative of beauty? Had he said beautiful, smooth, unblemished skin I could understand his statement better. Skin color does not make a person attractive. A green sheet draped or blue sheet draped and pulled tight on the same face structure looks the same, is the same. They are just different colors.

@@celesteporter2918 True

Yes, I agree...Their love is fake...superficial; based on looks not character or principals. That's why there's a shortage of black men and black females are not married...we can't propose to ourselves....bruh you need to REPENT....

Amen, sister!

yea... thats the problem with people... they want to be in relationships with alot of conditions on the relationship. no unconditional love. And God is a god of unconditional love.

@@tonyatjoseph5801 God will surely send alot of people to hell unless they follow the condition of being saved . So yeah And also you cannot love a rapist uncoditionally HAVE STANDARDS

Me too sis!!! I have been single way longer and older than you but I do now desire Godly companionship. He's out there!!! Imma start "taking my time" with one!!! 😊👍

My sister I hear and understand your rationale. As a man with my own children, I am intelligent, hard working, God fearing and I love my children with all my heart. I have my responsibilities and do what is required to meet them. But men in general want their children and do everything we can to support them but the mother does NOT want our children to have anything to do with us. The Govt does not support us, the mother does not want us to have anything to do with our children (not all mothers, but many don't want us near our children). So what should we do, raise hell and make ourselves out to be the bad guy like they think we are? We go through courts and spend tens of thousands of dollars to get rights and still we end up with the short stick. Here is another catch twenty two. If you understand the law and paying for children, a man who gets married or involved again will be taxed on the incomes of him and his new spouse. The combined income of these two people will determine the amount of child support he has to pay. Can I ask, do want to pay child support for a child or children you never had to a woman you never met, for the sake of the man you claim to love? For arguments sake, let's say you two make 70k per year. 10k or 20k per year until the last child or only child is eighteen, is going to another person you don't know and don't really care about? These are some issues us men face, for you to consider. God bless you.

@@returningtoperfection I understand your concern. This is why it's extremely important to get to know the woman, her character and morals before sleeping with her with out protection. Men choose their children's mother. I never slept with men that did not meet my expectations or those that failed to be involved in their own children's life. As a result, I had a daughter with a quality black man that is involved in her life 50% of the time as we are no longer together. As such, although he has his PHD, and makes well over 6 figures, I have never gone after him for child support. He has not paid child support to date and our daughter is now 12. His takes care of her and all her needs when she is with him. The minute you get someone pregnant or even before, men can establish a parenting plan that dictates how you all will co-parent. It's just like a divorce decree, but both parties create their own terms instead of the courts. Children thrive when adults operate in their best interest. Best regards.

Yep

Amen please preach!!

They not

Be realistic with your expectations but don't lower your standards. I believe that's what the Pastor really intended to say or should have said. What I've come to realize and following this and a number of other subjects is that it seems that women aren't interested in what men need. The common statement has prefaced many a message in church, "happy wife, happy life". As such the emphasis for men to focus on what a woman wants.

Lower expectations re: what? It's important to be respected, valued, trusted, appreciated and enjoyed. These expectations are prerequisites in any good relationship.

Yes!!!!!!!!! I totally concur!!! You just spoke on 'one' of the 3-Things that I think is absolutely Major...to which I was "a little" surprised that Doc Vernon didn't mention: 'Character' as you mentioned...and the other 2 are: 'Integrity' and 'Spirituality'. In most cases, Integrity is the 'frame' (foundation) of 'Character', and although there are many men who claim to LOVE JESUS, The 'Spirit of (and) Integrity' is not always in Practice--ANNNND can be quite challenging when not in Practice or Disciplined or Focused. Either way, I just Love Dr. RAV for bringing such awareness to the forefront and challenging thousands of people to really look into themselves with the additional ability to look into others and perform a 'Good Screen-shot' before embellishing in unhealthy or unsuitable relationships and getting scorned more than before. Ya gotta Love Vernon!!!

Piece of mind vs piece of a man...love it!

Exactly

Wouldn't touch either with a 10 foot pole.

@@MsGear001 me either, sis

Lower expectations yet one of these guys already has kids and is at least 50 pounds overweight while the other is balding with yellow teeth. I cant

Exactly, neither mentioned anything about spiritually or character.

THIS A MESS THEY RAN AROUND THE WORLD 🌎🌍 SO THEY WANT A ♀️👠 WOMAN THAT HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED BY THE WORLD HOW DOES THAT WORK

exactly- I was thinking the same thing. Who cares about dating? You either love me or hate me. Self love is everything.

Sorry for your loss

So why are you here? I’m asking cause I don’t know why I’m here either lol

@@TheOriginalRasheedat lol that title caught my attention 😎😂😂😂 “ what men really want in women”👀

Real Talk.

I agree with him, too, as long as it goes both ways. He shouldn't expect a woman to have 'energy' for him and post pics of him on his social media if he's not doing the same FIRST.

@@cgreen2984 exactly it cannot be one sided and it sound like that’s why he single…. There is nooooooo women with those qualities? Most women want to show their men off

Bingo!

Its a NO for me as well!

Yeah because you don't have Real pastors talking about the real things going on with in our people. We lie to much and don't talk about real issues . Like we don't know how to love and what is truly a real marriage the Way the Most High ordained it.

Thank you!.....

Amen!

this dialogue between these men are super carnal... they don't even care to connect with women on a spiritual level and thats why they are SINGLE. Dating is for confuse people who don't know what they want.

Agreed

In the meantime, the women who followed the previous, flawed advice are the ones experiencing the consequences. I'm learning to be cautious about taking advice from someone who doesn't have to experience the consequences of that advice.

​@@cgreen2984 - bingo!!

This was wonderful

Yup they go after the women they say they dont want. Women they tell us not to be. Very hypocritical

You forgot curves…all external trappings (1 Samuel 16:7), which fades with age..then what? Trade in?

Its pathetic

Agree

ABSOLUTELY 💯

Those guys are hypocrites and are the type to bring you heartache. In other words, you dodged a bullet bevaise they showed themselves to be snakes in the grass. So, its a good thing they weeded themselves out early.

😅😅😅

Nope. Instead they always want to put the onus on women to "fix it". Even here, they ask the mothers to teach their sons and show them what to do.

@@ecclairmayo4153 they don't even understand what they're saying. When they constantly tell us to make changes, they are also saying that WE (women) are the leaders, not them. We are in the position we're in now because they haven't been leading.

I think l love 😍 this man. The one in wine long sleeve

You made a very valid point! Many men as they age, are looking for a woman to marry to be their caretaker. Lets be honest, men tend to be less healthy. What woman wants to sign up to be a live in nurse for a man that has made poor health decisions his adult life?