Emotional Abuse From Women (This Is Tough) 

Intermittent reinforcement is addictive as hell. I went as far in my need of being accepted that I proposed to have a baby with her, because what greater proof of me being accepted, seen, and loved could be than that ? She accepted because she did not have a baby yet and felt she had a last chance for it. Also she was dominating in bed which might have been ok if not in the form of constant negative feedback which eroded so much my confidence that I was dreading sex eventually and on the other hand craved it badly.

My therapist just started me on Shadow work journaling after a 3yr relationship with a toxic/ abusive ex girlfriend, now mother of my child. The journal is helping so far and I am excited to see how it will help me excel to be the best version of myself.

Feminism has had a negative impact on the dynamics between men and women's relationships to the detriment of how society functions on the whole. From a women's perspective, i've the upmost respect for a man who demonstrates his VIP. Where this is lacking, women either feel insecure or become monsters within a relationship. Men need to be men and women need to be women for us to maintain a healthy coexistance.

I'm screenshotting that. Perfect description

100 %

I went through this last year. I still have problems dealing with the shame of being so weak that I didn't walk away.

And how do you know my wife?

100% Yes!!! My soon to be ex-wife is like this. I’m currently dealing with thoughts and feelings of being the problem/cause for the divorce (she asked for the divorce). It is HARD! I have to constantly remind myself that I tried my best to be enough and do my part to help the relationship. In the end I know I’m better off (just don’t feel that way yet). Don’t get me wrong I had faults that needed to be worked on too but…..

Narcissists are the problem. Not women. Not men.

Women are extremely powerful in mind games. I could never win. Now my solution is: the moment they start playing mind games, I leave! That simple.

God I know... I remember a female narc egging me on in text, sending me verbal jabs and saying "you cant win" when I had no reply. All I could think was "how can I one up her" instead of recognizing the sickness that was her mind.

10 years in…finally found the courage to walk. Brutal man, nothing worse.

@@0rnery0verwatchYou can win. That’s their military mind games they are playing with you. You have to play at their level. They play ugly then you play ugly. Give them the same bullshit they give you. Trust me you will feel better.

There was a girl in my class that called me a foetus because of my height. I cried at least once a week.

But they fall into your lap to start the relationship. If they make it so easy to get the relationship going, beware!

Exactly

I went through something similar last year. Can confirm.

+ they are at the beginning of the relationships the nicest women on earth and makes you laugh or smile often but tend to treat you very badly the more the relationship lasts. This makes a man really sad because the man will try everything in his might to make the women behave with such joy like in the beginning

It’s called borderline personality disorder

I was mentally abused by girls in my class because of my height. Of course, it was all my fault, and when finally i had enough and hit her, she reported me...

So true my friend I'm 74 😭

True....

True. Good men getting traumatized.

All of the abuse I've encountered is from them.

dude as a man i respect you

as an woman myself. I not only agree. because women are not just cruel to men. I suggest watching Yahhanna 82. Noah hines. Rob pickens. and that legal gaurdianship is a scam.

A man might fight you. But a woman wants to destroy you inwardly. She does not care if she loses dignity in the process or harms herself. And she will always play the victim. People do not understand that Satan is female (effeminate) in nature; and that Eve was not tricked(deceived without fault on your part) into giving Adam of the fruit of knowledge; she was beguiled(convinced to do so). There is a huge difference between those words.

They just get labeled bitchy instead of abusive

Congratulations It only gets better from now on

I left almost 4 years ago and even though it’s hard you’ll be happier overall

Go mate.

Good job brother. I ve been in a 12 year hellish marriage too and I m definitely done myself. Just waiting til tax time to move on my own. Don't want to leave my kids right now but I feel myself dying everyday inside being with her.

I can't imagine it being anything but hard. I've just left a girlfriend with who I've been together for 10 years and who I really deeply love. She's not interested in me and I have problems of my own, including depression and frustrated anxiety, which she helped me immensely getting out of, at least in the beginning. I became a better person because of her. However after a few years she stopped helping instead using blame and stress inducing behaviour to make things worse for me and never once try to help me out of the deepest pits. We broke up a few days ago and I'm trying desperately to get her back, that I can and want to change, that I have the will and strength to change. But she's just denying anything good has ever happened in these 10 years and I struggle so much to understand what I'm doing wrong and what I should do now.

What!!! That’s sooo rude and disrespectful. My wife says things like that to me not in public but she’ll say things when we argue “that’s why you have no friends or I’m sorry you have no friends but I do or some other condescending bullshit!!! Woman are absolutely fucked these days it sounds like. Wooooow. I would have said actually yes he has a lot of friends and I’m one of them looking her right in the eyes like she should watch how she talks to my friend lol. 😂

@@SavageConnors I should have done the right thing and said something like that but at the time I kind of awkwardly laughed trying to pretend she was making a joke.

I mean... some people do joke like that back and forth and they don't take it personally... but generally, yes, that sounds abusive.

I would have said get behind me woman and know your place.

@@SavageConnorsI don’t need friends. I’m a loner. A rebel I can get into enough trouble on my own other people don’t compliment me that’s what I have said. They play dirty you play dirty right back. This I am woman hear me roar bullshit is a myth. No one is above or beneath me. My folks always used to tell me never let folks talk to you any kind of way.

Same same, almost thought we were talking about the same trollop? LOL

Wild. My ex would constantly pick at my skin and I got exhausted telling her to stop so I just let it happen. When I responded finally with "hey. Stop doing that to me it upsets me. You are hurting me." It was suddenly my fault. I was responsible for her stress and that's why she was picking at her and my skin. By picking at my skin in a way she was telling me she had control of me AND my body. It's so screwed up!

GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

100% my case. Spot on.

Thank you for sharing brother. It helps us all to get stronger and realize it was not about us but now we have to look at what part we played and allowing it to happen and to put up with it. Mine didn’t like that I was catching on and calling it out, hoping that she would care that she’d hurt me and might even apologize. That’s the last thing that will ever happen. If ever they’re dying day they’ll blame someone else.

They will notice just don’t want to face it

@@mikebird5236 Oh...they'll notice!

The term "pussy whipped" comes to mind. I've been told that. 🥴

It's the frog in the pot of boiling water syndrome. It's a slow burn and we get used to accepting it - until the water is completely boiling and we're too broken to say stop......

We notice but people ridicule men who want to discuss their issues. And, many women will go a step further and ask "yeah but what did you do?"

Sounds like a lot of useful realisations there. Great stuff :)

You are a great lady.

Glad to hear you were able to learn by bad example what not to do. My daughter's mother was emotionally abusive and diagnosed with narcissist personality disorder. Despite that, she still got 50/50 custody in divorce. My daughter was only four when we divorced, so luckily she won't remember most of what she saw. My biggest fear going forward is that she will not have a healthy female role model & will learn to mirror her mother's behavior towards men. It's encouraging to see your comment.

thank you for caring about us. most women do never think about the fact that we can get hurt too.

​@@Jsinebdjsmdbejlol JFC wtf?

Self accountability!

Exactly. You are not here in this situation by accident or coincidence. Healthy people would’ve left at the first sign or proof of it. Yet, we all stayed and then cried and yelled about “repeatedly” being treated wrong….

Every woman is an entitled narcissist. EVERY ONE.

So true

Me too, mate. Trust me.

I hope he appreciates how remarkably rare and loving that is.

Don't be biased, look at other type of videos

@@stegosandrosos1291 well, I am. I am doing my own research

My best friend (a woman) calls me a lot with her relationship problems. Normally, I don’t like being “the go to guy,” but with her, she comes to me because she wants an HONEST opinion. She doesn’t just want to be caressed She wants me to call her out when she’s wrong, and says “I don’t want to be a manipulator. Please tell me if I am the bad guy here. Be honest”

It must be hard the whole worlds telli you you're the shit.

Yes women understand acutely how much power they have, they’ve orchestrated this power unbalance through victimhood, vulnerability and femininity and men’s desire to appease and protect and provide for them. They’ve created an illusion that women are good all the time and men are overall bad, the reality I see is most men are good and a few bad ones along with that vast majority of women willing to manipulate good men have given a negative image to all men. And we don’t accept that women are just as human and capable of being bad. So when you have a whole group with unchecked power the majority of the group will take advantage of it because it benefits them. And it’s become so pervasive that women actually believe it’s normal and right and justified and it’s overlooked and excused because everybody has been brainwashed to believe they aren’t doing wrong. I haven’t met one single women that is innocent of horrible manipulation and toxicity, that includes my grandmother, mother, sister, and every friend and girlfriend I’ve ever had along with friends girlfriends. But women rule the world because men do everything to get women, women control who has access to them and it benefits them to wield power and control over men so unless men check out and refuse to participate in the power unbalance women will continue to reap the benefits

To right it needs to be talked about, but it’s hard because feminism deny it and the media treat all women as angels, but definitely do what you can to get the message out

Unfortunately, the opposite is happening feminist are teaching young women to abuse their partners.

​@@gregrodgers107women are far from angels and people need to stop treating women like angels

Thanks for sharing, mate. How is your recovery going?

Same man and then trying to convince you you did what she actually did in the end happend to me

Sometimes. Not always.

​@@SamStone1964 I have a contraddiction about that. How many women go to jail for abuse against men?

​@@SamStone1964 most

So true

I was with a woman who claimed that she wanted a partner on the same level like a team but then actually just wanted someone to subjugate. Same kind of thing. Very strange behavior

Time to say goodbye. There are plenty of women out there like this. They will simply move on to their next victim. Eventually, many men toss in the towel.

Ultimately, being an overly nice and clingy person will make you into a passive enabler. It's unfortunate, but the truth.

Unfortunately, I don't have to imagine :( . Still married to her, just recently realised that I have been living in her matrix for 20+ years and have been fed with blue pills... until she made a mistake and gave me red pill, I've discovered infidelity (with her ex, after 25 years, can you believe it?!) ... still don't have power to leave... maybe when kid grow...

Dang, I'm sorry man! Hang in there - your kid is worth it, even if she isn't.

Yep. Know exactly how you feel. In that situation now

I feel that one boys, 25 years I’ve wasted on pretending I had the perfect life, and because I finally decided to leave, got a lawyer that bitch took everything I loved away from me branded me a junkie abuser without a scrap of evidence, is constantly trying to play the victim, and why is it now they say the word aggressive and everyone suddenly forgets how you got there. You ruined my life and I let you, yeah I’m angry. But I’m not gonna hit you. I will never touch you again!!! I wish I would have left sooner but after she had an affair with one of my closest friends, the only one who knew how hard I was working to work on our relationship, I ran and told my children cause I knew I couldn’t take it back. Since then I’ve been assaulted by her then, the cops show up and literally say to me I believe you, but this isn’t going to go your way, you’re a man! ( thanks for that bud ) this happened a couple times, well a lot actually. I have been accused of being a junkie for 25 years that no one noticed, alienated from my children because she knows that is all I want! But that’s why she has to take it because I don’t want her at all, I’m being stalked and followed by her father for months now, ( only realized 6 months ago that I was in a threesome that I wasn’t actually in I was an employee, but because admitting they failed as parents they will throw me away, and steal my children. I am the enemy now because I told her parents to deal with alcohol problem because she is their problem not mine! But I was so wrong, they are trying to drive me to suicide, or on drugs. It’s new and exciting every day how are we gonna torture him so he kills himself, or just runs away

Internet's been around since the early nineties man 😂 but I get what you're saying

Honestly identical

Damn. How are you doing?

@@OliverCowlishaw to be honest. Not great but its bareable for now. I went through her chats and was discussed but it was the realization I needed. Right now I just want to figure out the best way to move forward with myself. My mental space and emotional space can't really reside in the same space and I'd like to feel my inner peace and use this experience to sustain it

@@dylankock3633 my email in case you need to talk brother. ocowlishaw@gmail.com.

@@OliverCowlishaw thank you🥺🙏🏼

Same. I went to threapy and the doctor determined that I am not. No surprise.

I understand that it is very tricky and tough situation because something like this is so hard for another person to understand. It is in very close intimate relationship, this kind of thing happens and only two of you can be the witness of. It is true though that sometimes it is real bipolar and the person who has such symptoms cannot tell that he / she has such issue. I am sure your case is different and I see that manipulation from woman happened.

All women testen

Classic, mine kicked me in the head because she was cheating on me and has transformed the entire situation that ended things into me abusing her until she had a psychotic break and kicked me in the head because she was cheating on me. Absolutely disgusting, can’t really trust people anymore.

Our mom is dying alone currently. She knows why.

My mom is like that

Brother I feel like Im going through what youve gone through. Strongly suspect my ex is BPD and our son is not even a month old. Any advice?

We live together and I'm being verbally abused and threatened every day, but I am also the only one working, I am a big guy but I actually am starting to fear her.

@@airthrowDBT and you should be affraid. It's not just the outbursts, it's the false allegations. I know it's hard, but I strongly advise that you talk to someone. Take care of yourself..

My question is how did you get her to get evaluated because most won't go

Same here but in my case I dumped her and she didn't beg or wanted to talk and discuss issues rather she freaked out on me and accused me of all the things. I was too much stressed bcs of her thtsy i had to take the decision.

Thats why i dont marry, all women are the same and am saying that with good reasons!!!!

get out of it. It won't get better. good luck

It's rare that people wish to take this level of responsibility. Good shit 🙏🏻

I've been in this situation. I hope you got out. I'm a woman but have found myself watching these types of videos to reassure myself that I'm not crazy and how I'm being treated really isn't acceptable to anyone. I was so confident before, now I'm an anxious mess. Isolated from my friends and family and feel that I couldn't even go around them because they'd question what a shell of my former self I've become. The only thing that gets me is the time that I'll never get back but the only thing worse than that is wasting even more time. Good luck on your journey💚

Virtually every case

Sane and decent men are not in relationships with “unrelenting” abusive women. You get into toxic relationships because of your childhood wounds… Helathy individuals do not. There is no “unrelenting”, constant abuse by a woman- that is because at the first sight or proof of such, they leave. They are not INTRIGUED or interested in it. The people that are interested in that behavior subconsciously or not, stick around and complain and cry about it. Then feel justified about “physical abuse”. You are a participant in the whole dynamic and process. No it’s not right or fair for someone to abuse you, but you are to blame and at fault for every situation in your adult life. Force yourself to understand this, discover and heal your childhood trauma and wounds-mostly with your caregivers, likely your mother. Look into attachment styles, and attraction, also self sabotage/self harm/self hatred, and the subconscious.

@@bradrogers4281no sir. Just because you feel “justified” does not actually make you any less evil. Take one look at history, or anybody ever, they all felt “justified”, and right. Stand back with objectivity and remind yourself of morality, good and evil, if you must. You’re angry and there is a hurt little boy inside that’s been forgot about. Find him. It will be a journey to, but do it. This is why you are in this situation in the first place, attracted to women and situations that hurt you- repeatedly, as the comment stated. You’ve chose this, whether subconsciously or not. You’re drawn and attracted to it. It’s not an accident. And until you feel that inside, however dark or foreign or dead or scary it might be, you will just repeat this for the rest of your days here on earth. If it’s not in romantic relationships, it’ll be through any and everything else- whatever can hurt and sabotage you, because somewhere you believe and have been taught, that it’s what your deserve. All While yelling, getting upset, violent, and blaming everything else.

@@sperez3275victim blaming.

My ex tried flipping the narrative on a therapists this same way too. It’s two years and I’m waking up from a nightmare of her. Still trying to get out of the victim feeling I have. This video helps

Ummm no.. Thats your experience. Dont typecast a whole profession or people or gender because it suits your narrative. I go to a female therapist too. Not at all is my experience like yours and I will never say that my experience is what it's like for everybody. 2ndly.. It sounds like either yiu have a shitty therapist or that you believe in your head that she believes your your wife or perhaps maybe in fact you are not as innocent as you think

​@@akshaydeIt's very, very common though.

as a therapist, I think that happens alot, way more than it should. Many therapists literally know nothing about NA and have never heard about a man being abused by a woman. All couple therapists should be screening for NA before agreeing to take on a couple in counseling...everyone should feel free to ask the therapist some questions before making an appointment..."are you familiar with narcissistic abuse?"

Been there. Our female counsellor said it was totally normal for my wife not to give any intimacy as she had just delivered a baby and that it's totally my fault that she kept nagging at everything i did, as i sometimes did not put away the laundry at the same day. I was told to man up, AS my wife was going through a hard time, having a baby and stuff. I bore the cross for five years, then told my wife she better changed or i'd be gone. Strangely enough, she did change for the better and now my marriage is bearable and even fun at times.

most modern women will emotionally abuse you and then if you accept it, they will fall out of attraction and cheat on you LOL good shit huh

Well said

I believe it's the context, it's not denial or minimalizing of what one has been through; but changing ones mind to that of being powerful to overcome it. I think that's what he means; power to take oneself out of the sick cycle and to not be eternally spun around by it. In that sense not being a victim means not being helpless and bitter; but rather acknowledge this and this happened but it's not going to determine my identity anymore or make me bitter anymore. I hope I'm making sense

I thought exactly the same thing as you. I didn't appreciate his comments about us sufferers not being victims. Being a good loving person is a strength not a weakness

Oh my gosh.

Thank you for writing my comment for me.

This was my mum in the 80/90s and my ex on/off ex girlfriend. It's shocking and infuriating to discover what intermittent reinforcement is and how it works.

Yeah, I realised that when my mother got divorced from my father he was basically addicted even though she treated him very badly.

If this video in any way suggests that I'm downplaying the suffering caused, this is 100% not my intention. I've been there and I know how painful it is. But I also got stuck in victim mode for far too long and nobody around me had the courage/inclination to reflect that to me. It would have helped. So something I like to say: "You may not have been the cause but you are definitely the solution" Take care mate.

@@OliverCowlishaw sure man, thanks for the feedback.

😢

Therapy sucks for men. I went for 2 years and got nothing out of it expect the knowledge that therapists are just people and are as biased and brainwashed as everyone else. It's tough to find a good one.

Interesting idea, actually.

@@OliverCowlishaw I think you must be a nice man and never deserved poor treatment by spoilt drama Queens . You have given great advice to men Always set your boundaries and always find a women who will look after you . I am a traditional wife and could cook at the age of 9 years old . These days the young modern woman don’t like cooking and taking care of their family .

And then they get jaded and never trust any potential love interests again

@louis So true; it's both. I just think it's harder for men to deal with maybe sometimes because of the societal expectations and a lack of info out there specifically for men on this topic.

​@@louisaklimentos7583 W Based woman🗿🍷 Respect for u ma'am

Cause it's a very handful tool to assign blame and dump you having "a good conscience'

Brother, I'm sorry to hear that. Truly.

🫂

That sounds touch, mate. Sorry to hear you're going through this. You absolutely have the strength to pull through. I promise.

Hey brother. Reach out to me whenever you want. Here for you.

They emotionally abused you in their statements

I’ve been “love bombed”. I can see that I got dragged into this relationship by this woman, and now that she is “done” and gotten out of the relationship, I’m feeling an enormous vacuum inside. 😢

Having children with a person like this makes for a real trap.

Update : we have had a deep talk about the situation and it turns out that i was also making him feel like that. We’ve made efforts and understood each other, things are way better now :))

My pleasure.

Same here. The ass is never worth it. Ever