I love the title of this video because it boils down the core of the message. "Women breakup with emotional men". Now, to go on a little bit of a related focus point about this, it's good to always remember: As a man, you should never... And I mean, actually never... NEVER complain about anything. If you're a man, don't ever be a complainer. Because this shows that you are emotionally affected in a bad way.
What ever happened to just venting? There's all kinds of women out there and I don't want to bother with such an animalistic mentality, not all women are like this.
@@Fighting_Fatigue_117I agree. I don’t buy into this 100% stoic statue all the time it’s okay to be a human and sometimes get things off your chest or vent after a long day, but do so in a mature and laid back way. It’s not healthy to bottle everything in all the time, but I also agree it’s not wise to complain all the time either. HAPPY MEDIUMS are called happy mediums for a reason folks.
I feel as if being emotional is not a problem, but rather that having no control over emotions is the problem. A man who has no control over his emotions is a dangerous man, not only to himself, but to his friends, family, community, and world at large. When you need to cry, cry. When you need to sob, sob. But a man must view these things as tools that can benefit him. Use crying to alleviate emotional burden and return to life energized. Return in control, because you have control over your emotions.
That's a lot of projection. "Most are insecure and full of envy". Based on what? Also, I don't know your definition of emotional man. But i can tell that sort of dismissive statement....that segregates and invalidates a whole section of the population IS based on insecurity most of the time. If you value a quality, embody it, but don't believe everyone else that doesn't is inscure. That sounds like the BS a lot of guys who hit the gym would say about people who don't go to the gym "they are weak or lack confidence or goals" lol...that's such a superficial view of life. Quite self-centered too.
Emotional control is the beginning of maturity for a man. You can always feel sad, angry that right now you're not where you want to be in life. Always showing that and making it your whole personality is going to drain you of the masculine energy. Enjoy the journey because you already know you are going to make it there and people are going to love you for that.
Rejecting and pushing off emotions ironically makes u more emotional and avoidant. Find ways to process emotions like exercise, breath work, meditation and journaling. These practices will allow you to release blockages and get on with your life. Loving yourself and radical acceptance is the way.
I have done what he said. Masterimg my emotions but I noticed but I did so suppressing emotions and my sexuality deeply behind for so and it came back in my face and being an emotional wreck because I thought emotions blinded me or made more toxic without noticing it. But all of that supresion only left me more underdeveloped and childish than an funcional adult. I was harming myself. Also, I am a repressed bisexual man who could not express himself as he wanted to be and feel ashamed of his sexuality. I still working to be more myself these days and to improve as life going. Another one was I am a hispanic caribean and we tend to be more expresive than the said american men. But I was putting pressure on myself to am American guys because my country idolize USA to obsession. I get his massage of trying to control one emotions and not be driven by it because some people can dangerous or be manipulative while being sensitive or emotional like the covert narcisists who are like this. And I get it it is not healthy to be super emotional and being open completly to people that might harms you. But I also think we should make it like it reason is enemy of emotions because they work in conjuctions in our decisions making and in our brain. I think we should strived to find a balance and to express emotions responsibly and healthy way without harming ourselves and others.I am not perfect on that. Not by long shot but I. But I do not recomend doing this super suspressed or repressed state on men or certain men.
I get what he's saying about music. You need to think in silence sometimes, too. It's OK to enjoy music and listening to music. Even listening to a bunch of music. But some people legit just have a constant stream of music playing directly into their ears to where they can't hear themselves think.
I understand what you’re saying, but we are emotional. Just because we have testosterone doesn’t mean we don’t have emotions lmao. It’s learning to control both and use those emotions productively to do stuff in life. This is a quote by Robert Greene about the rider and the horse. The horse is our emotional nature continually impelling us to move. This horse has tremendous energy and power, but without a rider it cannot be guided; it is wild, subject to predators, and continually heading into trouble. The rider is our thinking self. Through training and practice, it holds the reins and guides the horse, transforming this powerful animal energy into something productive. The one without the other is useless. Without the rider, no directed movement or purpose. Without the horse, no energy, no power. In most people the horse dominates, and the rider is weak. In some people the rider is too strong, holds the reins too tightly, and is afraid to occasionally let the animal go into a gallop. I just think it’s hurts a lot of guys who already don’t express themselves and you tell them to not be emotional when they already aren’t. Are some too emotional? 100% but a lot of dudes never express themselves and find that balance.
Being overly emotional (not being able to control the emotions) is indeed a weakness that will cost you much in life. However having heavy emotional baggage is not a choice. The baggage was place on them over long period of time, starting early in childhood. And freedom from that weight comes from realizing your pain , accepting it and living with it. Way through, not around, is the only way to calmness and peace
Both can be true, your point doesn't invalidate his. He's trying to help the guys that got told the TERRIBLE advice like women don't mind seeing a man cry, be emotional, open up about your fears / problems. Its messed up that men have to be unemotional but that's reality. However some men today genuinely have taken it too far and show weakness and vulnerability all the time. No one wants to see that.
This is basically it. Woman will settle..but in time, indeed, start to get stir crazy..you always need to keep putting wood in the fire to keep it alive
@@michealsmith3407 Actually I don't think any one has been putting out advice that women like guys who cry usually it's info similar to what Eli is saying. Women are more aware of how macho men are trying to appear in order to attract them. But yes men should control their emotions don't be seen balling out crying out of control in front of your woman.
I'd like to emphasize the distiction between repressing emotion (making yourself robotic and wierd) and feeling emotion and letting go after understanding it. But whats even more important is feeling the right emotions. In a way youre almost always feeling emotions, but what you want to feel is Joy (experience,fun,curiosity), Bliss (gratitude), Peace (acceptance and letting go) Love (Selflessness[kindness]). These are "high frequency" emotions that make you the stable and calm man you seek to be, creating life, flow and focus. In religeous/spiritual terms its the state of FEELING GOD/Blessed. This is also the state women are attracted to and may feel god through you (The desire to create life). DO NOT fall to the assumption that this is what women want to themself. they want to feel a range of emotions, feel life to the fullest. and they will unconciously try to drag you down feeling low frequency emotions like Fear, Shame (big problem for us man), Apathy (being robotic), Desire (vices,neediness) etc. If you share those emotions with women they will lose respect for you and pull out emotionally. Therefore a correlation you can make is that this godlike state makes you abundant in life and always ready to move on if a woman doesn't respect you, which in turn makes her feel the range of emotions she seeks like the fear of losing out. Reality is a beautiful thing once you dont judge and accept it for what it is.
Can you make a video for young men about sales? How to get a sales job and how to get great at it? And how to not get discouraged working, but to have that grit and not quit and keep improving despite rejections and bad days. I will be starting a cold-calling sales job for a big security alarms company soon. I know you've worked in sales - I'd love to hear your advice and some sales stories.
Cold calling sucks man. Don't take rejections personal: they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting the idea of spending money for something. With that understanding you can pitch a sale according to the framework that it is in their interest. Sales job sucks but every hard worker ive met had a sales backgrounds which made them titans int he realm of interpersonal skills. If you don't stick it out, its all good move on to something better and take the lessons and social skills you learned from it with you.
I’m doing door to door sales. It’s brutal. Probably won’t stick with it, but I agree with the guy above. You will learn a lot. Social skills will be developed and you will become immune to rejection. Also gives you good time management skills. Everything you need to succeed in any area of life. If you get good at sales, you can make bank 200k-400k. It just depends on what you are selling and how good you are at overcoming objections.
@@JohnnyWalkerBlack142 I've done a couple of weeks of D2D last year. Yeah it's brutal. Fun when it's going well. Have you been getting better at it? Do you earn a lot? I've never done cold calling before so I don't know how hard or easy it is compared to D2D
@@javajav3004 Thank you man. The reason why I got a sales job is to improve sales skills, communication, grit and earn enough money to marry asap and support my wife to be at home. I want to build a business in future as well. I've got a question for you: I am a Christian and won't lie. Do you think I can be successful in sales or cold calling without lying?
@@whosgonnacarrytheboats7 I met a fellow Christian in a similar dilemma of balancing a sales career to his values. It all depends on what your selling, but in general the cut throat nature of the business requires a degree of cold heartedness. Whether it be as something as tangible and benefical as cars, or something as decrepit as a subprime mortgage: sales requires a degree of deception. You can't always do whats in the best interest of others in that field, and staying in it can wear you down. My friend solved his dilemma by leaving the industry and pursuing another skill. I even was tempted with it but saw it as compromising. The question remains of what you will do and what you will be guided to do. Sounds scary, but i promise you this: you will never regret rejecting cleanish money that makes you feel dirty on the inside. Lets chat, id love to make a video that covers this topic
Being codependent and anxiously attached is a one-way ticket to dumpsville (speaking from personal experience). Learn how to master your own emotions and stop letting them control you. Women love a man who can be in control of himself and his surroundings.
Bro I've been following you for like 3 years now, and loving the vids and the talks you give. I'm just really curious how your daily life/routine looks like. Hope someday you will make kind of a vlog video of your daily life and routine, I would dig it.
I took this the wrong way for a long time….. Recently been working with a therapist to help me with humility and my mental health. Had a mental breakdown two weeks ago, and again this past weekend. And well would you look at that, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me and moved out. Idk if there’s a balance to not being emotional. But I really need to find it lol. Because right now, its hard to show and express my emotions and how I feel. And of course, just like I knew in my gut, I let my emotions out, and now I’m single.
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you have at any given moment, and know, whether you are feeling good or bad that it will pass. If you feel emotionally unstable, pray about it; ask the LORD for help with your emotions and be honest about it, this works for me. Edit: Also, take courage; from what you said, it seems like now is the opportune time to handle the problems you are facing. Rely on the LORD as much as you are able to.
@@Sandborn_ thanks man. I know Elisha says to not cry and everything else about breakups, but my god man this hurts. I loved her so much, and I broke up with her. Idk if I want her back, but I miss her. And even if she does want to come back, idk if I’ll agree to it. I just had facial surgery today, so I’ve got the apartment all to myself. Which usually is nice, but sucks now. I don’t have her to cuddle with, I literally can’t sleep without my hand on her ass or stomach. I’m just trying to learn what I can from this, and grow as a person from this. And also, I was atheist up until 4 years ago, now am I hardcore fan/love God/Christ. But it’s so hard for me to hear/understand what they are trying to tell me.
@@ElishaLong idk why there are so many emotions, but it’s more so these thoughts and beliefs. They never go away, I acknowledge them and try to move on. I’ve been practicing meditation for 10 minutes a day for 6 months now. I’ve started journaling, I’ve got a solid job, my relationship with my family is good…. Idk what I’m doing wrong Elisha. But I know for a fact, that YOU helped me save my life 6 years ago… Idk how you exceeded in life so much, that you gained the opportunity to save other men. Thank you Elisha, from the bottom of my heart man.
@@massformationpsychosis7681 In my opinion, crying is a perfectly normal response to the situation at hand, just don't cry in public or around other people. Be vulnerable with God, this is a perfect opportunity to get very close to Him and to truly be able to rely on Him and to know Him personally. I don't know your situation with your ex-gf but regardless, we only really have God for help, even if she is a true saint and a really good partner, she won't be able to help you completely. If she could have, she would have; again, only God can truly help us with situations such as the one you are in. Know this: God is one person, Jesus is the word of God in flesh, the word is from God and even is God; when you pray, you are praying to God and Jesus is the courier of that message, praying in the name of Jesus Christ allows God to hear your petitions. Now is the time to experience the salvation that comes from God; not only the salvation from difficult situations, such as this, but even eternal salvation and the knowledge that one day soon you will be in paradise because of Jesus Christ and what He did for us, because He loved us. I, personally, do not deserve His love; nevertheless I am saved because of His grace and mercy. You will be given peace, and you will have God to thank for that, so don't forget to thank Him! "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." - Luke 11:9 KJV
Nobody cares how we feel, we still gotta get up in the morning and take care of our business. Life goes on regardless of how we feel... might as well work hard, train hard and chill hard :)
We all feel emotions thats been human. Its about been in control of your emotions and not letting your emotions control you brother. With out emotions we are not compelled to act even hate is a useful emotion dont be ashamed to feel
How can I be ambitious when every job interview or application ends the same way. How can I be ambitious when I’m practically homeless, I live on my friend’s couch for fuck’s sake. I have a university degree in informatics and I cannot land a job not even as a fucking supermarket worker. By 17th I’m living on the street if I don’t manage to sell the last bits of electronics I have. Be ambitious, man I fucking used to be.
Have to say, normally this dude gives pretty solid life advice and is very thoughtful. This video however is all over the place. The comment about music is strange and highly unique in that ive never heard this criticism before. The comment about men dont have any woman inside of them- which i have no idea what that means is also odd. Also, its exhausting now how every podcaster, shit even astrophysicist have a take on masculinity these days to the extent that its boring at best and confusing at worst.
Completely agree. As a man you cannot show emotion. People will say it’s ok. But let me tell you we are not allowed to be emotional by society. We will not be respected. We will be seen as a joke. And no one will want to be around us. If it’s a family member passing, yes. Something extremely serious in that nature yes. But overall…. No. It is seen as a weakness and that’s just the truth.
@@cheetoman42 I mean the message of the video is clear enough, being emotional in this context means behaving in an emotional way, you understood it and we all did
Ok then i dont know what the fuk i am!!! Being a self motivated and ambitious individual, im also emotional, and latch on to music all day. I tackle life head on with glee, grasping every moment of my logging career felling trees and fixing equipment. Yet i go home and cry sometimes.
People in the comments really don’t get it. He’s not saying there’s anything wrong with men having emotions. However, the problems arise when men cannot control those emotions. Self-control is key. Being emotional means you are reactionary and unstable, which means you cannot be trusted to lead a woman.
Homie, is the High Thumos Brotherhood open to all countries, or just the USA? Because im out in New Zealand and im inquiring, but I feel like I may miss out on particular activities being so far away. Cheers
I think people in the comments are confused about the message. I believe the message isn’t to shut off all emotions like a robot, but to have control of them so they don’t rule your logic.
I try extremely hard not to be emotional but as an autistic person it gets very overwhelming because you're in predisposition of that. But you are in fact right and that's why this is a good video. It's also why I choose not to talk to girls, knowing ahead that they won't like me back, and rightfully so.
Relax bro and drop the weirdness. You sound pretty high functioning. Talk to women but don't trauma dump them. Handle your shit without having to complain all the time to a woman.
@@ElishaLong I mean, I make sure not to do these things. But I'm quite ugly, and I do Not have my life together, nor do I even have full control over it. This makes me think about how I'm behind and hopless at times, and I purposely sabotage me talking with a girl at times (I live with my mom, who handles my disability money, and even makes the house chaos from time to time. So it's been a while since I've worked or went to school. We're talking 2021, backwards.)
@@mrdoomguylll Dude, get in shape, become valuable in the world and spend time with good people, you'll get there. "All it takes to get a good woman is to be a good man and not be a pussy" - me. Think about that statement because it's true af. You got this man, your autism doesn't matter. It's up to you to decide who you are. You got this.
@@mrdoomguylllThis guy in the video is a bit of douche. I’m not telling you not to listen to him, or he has no clue what he is talking about but how can he as a neurotypical Man with good genetics have an authority to be telling you, someone with bad genetics and on the spectrum how to act or what to do? He most likely has no idea what it is like being in your shoes. His advice is not bad per se and in my opinion there is merit to what he is saying but it is very surface level and generic. He is not taking into perspective everyone’s life situation or different circumstances. Including what is not in their control. If I was you reading his response to you I would be thinking “Relax bro and drop the weirdness” excuse me what? and “you sound pretty high functioning”😂 What exactly is that supposed to mean? I can’t see what basis he would have for thinking that. You’re clearly not retarded if that is what he thinks an autistic person would be if you’re typing on here and are able to understand the content on the video. But him calling you high functioning and therefore won’t have any problem because you’re able to watch a RU-vid video and comment under is ignorant of him. It doesn’t tell him anything about what living with your condition is like.
Honestly Eli I never agreed with the whole "emotional men are weak" thing, but in this video I think you highlight some key problems that men do need to be careful of. I have struggled with anger especially, and I went to therapy for quite awhile, but I kept a masculine sense about me most of the time, and nowadays I am just naturally tougher overall. I think some of us just have to go through a more emotional phase. I've had pretty significant trauma (being shit on by a lot of people and a serious health condition). My girlfriend acknowledges it too and gives me a pass if I need reassurance. That said I have become a stronger man over time and the more emotional parts of me that remain have their upsides. Just like you say life is about people, I think it's also about emotions. Joy and excitement are emotions, and ambition / thumos are connected to emotions.
i think if you need be emotional, it should be in private..reminds me of the scene in "private ryan" where cast. miller goes off away from his men to "let it out"...pressure release needed, but not at the expense of strength
Only 1:06 in. A perfect example is Rick from the walking dead. Now obviously it’s just a show, but you can see how he transforms over the seasons from Mr good guy to doing whatever it takes to survive, even if that means killing others to keep his tribe safe. Will continue with the vid now lol
Although my ex was nuts, I do think it would have lasted longer if I didn’t react so much to her. It was because I reacted emotionally that she closed herself off to me.
And this is why I dont listen to young people trying to be wise. Emotions include happiness and Joy... dont be happy and joyful in your relationship? you can have emotions, nothing wrong with a man crying, we just hide our emotions from everybody else. AS A MAN YOU DEAL WITH IT. Never gonna listen to this mans trash wanna be wise guy. Your the only one who is weak.
Communication is at the core. People should individually go on a journey to discover and accept themselves and once they can live with themselves then they are ready to live with another person and create a family. Your advice dude is like "if you are homeless just buy a house". People who are in deep shit they genuinely don't know how to get out, telling to simply get out is not going to make their situation better. Nice videos in general but this one is honestly not one of them.
Don’t mean to discredit what you are saying at all, i totally agree on everything, except that part about the feminine energy. We have both in us, primordial energies that make us whole. The divine shakti is the one the bottom as it rises to the top of the crown and unifies with Shiva.
Wrong about the Carl Jung stuff but you are still right in general. Integrating with the Anima(feminine side) within will result in a balanced man. If not it will manifest in ways out of your control.
Wow Elijah bravo. The deeper you go into the real stuff I notice the more push back you get in the comments. It’s all right, a year down the road after they learn from experience they will look back and say “he was right.” Sometimes to understand this stuff we have to experience it. Everything you say here is 100% true
I agree and disagree with this, of course, there are weird emotional nerdy men that are too needy but then there’s the other half where women create trauma bonds with abusive ex’s that they always go back to.
How dare you Elijah I’m a strong independent goddess lmao. Nah good shit though it can be hard to master emotions sometimes but it’s better and easier to just not overthink too much. Most men suffer more in their head rather than irl or whatever the quote was
These guys talk like they know shit I understand that people look for an identity looking to be someone or something too get a confident boost because deep inside they don't really believe the shit they trying be.. be who the fuck you are and there is no way to be emotionless if your are alive when telling yourself to have no emotion is emotion all this about woman this woman that ... Get healthy and get money and respect over everything.
you have to control your emotions, dont be to much or to little there is a sweet spot. Its hard to master as a man but once you control yourself, honestly things get better 100 percent
Hear what you're saying but be careful when you have a kid. Do not try to shut down a baby boy's emotional outburst especially by ignoring that outburst. That's how you end up with screwed up insecure attachment styles that the person has to deal with for the rest of their life and especially the people around the person
I can’t even listen to any more bro. Emotions are a part of the human experience. Many women hate this fake masculinity you’re preaching. Women love men who can protect but also been emotionally available and be comfortable with showing emotion
Nah I’ve been emotional and unemotional with the same and different women and being unemotional has kept them around way longer. The woman is meant to be the emotional one, not the man acting like a little emotional bitch. Emotionally available is different. Have charisma don’t be autistically unemotional obviously. They want a man not an emotional pussy. It’s really not that hard to understand.
Yeah, this vid isn’t it. I’ve known so many guys, including my dad that got closer to their spouses through emotions. Not the crying type of emotion, but just problems and solutions.
Emotions are dope. I can go into a violent rage to get shit done, always feels better after crying for the dead homies, I love dragging other people into my nonsense because my ego is hurt, and i love getting hyped and expressing joy. who cares what women think lmao
Bro you are tripping on this one. Carl Jung has studied 80.000 dreams and concluded that there is a archetypical woman in each man. This is in the unconscious which you do not know too much about. It’s not just testosterone and masculinity. You will come across your inner woman with analyzing your dreams. It’s not that there is a real woman but it is the archetypal related function to woman…
@@ElishaLongthe statement still stands tho. The valuable lesson is to balance your emotions. Not kill them or overwhelm others with them. Emotions do pass but they are serious things we feel that push us forward when we embrace them with open arms. In my experience women love a man more when they have them but control them.
Yikes…ngl I respect your yoyo skills but this channel and your advice ain’t it. It’s not really fair to speak on behalf of all women and make a generalization about said women “hating emotional men” just because YOUR personal experiences with the women YOU chose to open up to didn’t go so well. That’s really weird and frankly makes you sound super insecure with your masculinity. To each their own but I hope the people watching this video take this junk advice with a grain of salt. I can understand what you are trying to say but we as humans and our personalities, no matter whatever biological anatomical differences we have, are not so black and white. This is primitive and outdated thinking.
