i think part of that "social guy" is knowing how to carry a conversation. personally it's pretty hard sometimes when you're not there emotionally. but it's a superpower being able to reach that vibe.
I copied Elisha a few years ago and became a car salesman for a year to improve my social skills. I don't recommend it to most people because it's definitely a jump-into-the-fire approach but if you're on this channel and need a job, you could do it too. Vastly improved my social skills.
just turned 16 today bro , i was thinking about this too that is why i stay away from the mainstream self-improvement youtubers that i used to watch before they are just the same carbon copy of each other , your vids are unique man like its always in depth & actual authenticity bro , and not just those typical "makes sense" copy pasted advice all over the internet. I still cant believe why you are not blowing up the same as those mainstream youtubers. Thanks for the vid man rlly helped and resonated with me
I feel like Elisha, as you said, isn't on the mainstream and is more of the "not your favorite youtuber, but your favorite youtuber's favorite youtuber" style, as you'll see a lot of channels who were inspired by him but grow larger than his own, like Dre Dexler
I think for me and many other men, we have this boiling, scorching rage to get out and do shit because if we don’t, that rage will consume us as we have nothing to channel it, nothing to keep it from turning on us and destroying our mental health. I could be wrong, but that’s how I think of it.
Creating a business or pumping weights at the gym is only a temporary solution to that 'rage'. Loneliness is still going to kill you if youre a rich and buff 50 year old enterpreneur without a wife or kids. We need to find decent women to create big, self sustaining and financialy comfortable families, this is where most of our effort as healthy young men should be going towards, not watching "sigma grindset motivation" videos on youtube and investing in crypto.
@@chepesantacruz777 I do agree with you on social connections. We need close friends, brothers, lovers etc. I think that a lot of men don’t know how to balance social life with career life because their ambition makes them feel guilty for “wasting time”. “Dreams breathe life into men, and can cage them in suffering”.
@@michaeldost8155 read Wild At Heart. I think Elisha has recommended this book before. Pretty much lays out exactly what being a man is all about and what our true nature is.
Man your videos always come out at the best time. Just realized im a gymcel. I go 4 days a week and its always the highlight of my week. I dont have much of a social life and I dont know how to create one at 31
Bro, I was just like you! How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie is a gem and has truly helped, it's gonna be awkward at the beginning but then everything gets easier with practice. I used to avoid poeple, now I go out for a walk specifically to just look poeple in the eyes, smile and say hi, and guess what? More often than not they smile back, poeple just love to be recognized and appreciated.
This is what the true Übermensch is about, I had just read the book and (somewhat) understood the idea but without taking any of it to practice. Embrace life, take the risks! “The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously.” Thanks for the insight and motivation bro.
6:30 really resonated well with me. going through heartbreak right now after a 3 year relationship breakup. i know one day i’ll look back at this and acknowledge that this really was a blessing in disguise
1. Move out (it develops your will). 2. Go through heartbreak (makes you strong and powerful, the woman isn't the goal). 3. Work (learn skills, to become resilient and change things, you accept responsibilities).
I came back from traveling abroad about a month ago. Let me tell you something, I felt very alive and social while traveling. Being in a hostel, socializing with ppl from different countries, naturally made me more lively, social, and open to “chaos” or the lack of control. I was open to saying yes to everything. Then I came back to America. And at first, I still felt that high energy. I was saying hi to everybody in that first week back. Shootin the shit and seeing where the moments take me. But slowly I’ve felt myself slipping back into revlusivity and stagnation. Fucking sucks. Idk what it is about this place but it slowly crushes your spirit if you don’t resist it.
Holy shit man the exact same thing for me. Worked in a hostel for 6 months in Canada and I was a completely different person. Been back for 2 months and I can see my social skills degrading in real time. I have been making an effort to talk to as many people but everyone has there own business so fair enough. Booked a hostel next week so keen!
Hey Elisha, I'm 17 and just wanted to say thank you and let you know that I really needed this message right now. This is the kind of content that has potential to change people's lives so keep doing what you're doing, there's so many more young men that need to hear what you have to say.
Thank you bro, you answered the question I had for so long, I NEED WILL and what’s the craziest part is that right now my life is already naturally heading into what you were talking about, It made me so happy to look forward to my future, Im 17 and making plans to move out
Only recently came across this channel, others have already hit on how genuine and refreshing these takes are, but the most important thing to me is how they seem to come from a real place of personal understanding. Elisha seems to explain his points with an urgency, but not simply to try and shame people into getting the point. Some video titles of his really dug their hooks into me, I didn't really want to watch them because I expected them to just be slamming me for how badly I'm doing. In actuality, I never felt that at all coming from him, which allowed me to be much more honest with myself and accepting of the truths he had to lay out. I'm 24, been chronically plagued by hesitation and doubt, played it safe almost all my life and it really just tears you down inside gradually. Gonna need some serious shake ups to get to where I should be, but it has to be done and I'm taking action. I don't usually speak my piece, but I had to write something down to make it real. Hope you keep it up Elisha, you're really making waves.
I can appreciate this message Elisha thank you , the essence of a King is Will and Influence. Adventuring outside ones Castle (comfort zone) is the only was to develop the true King Spirit Elisha describes. Also recognise the importance of periodic attention to (Inner) Peace & Knowledge. Applying ones Will to develop these Pillars is an essential Balance we all must recognise. Many Great Men/Kings have failed to know this Balance, resulting in Defeat (to Time) instead of Transcendence from King to God (e.g. Alexander TG & Pharaoh Ramses II) A King ruled by its Ego is no King at all, but the Subject of his own Weakness. A King must know Wisdom just as those he seeks Council, otherwise a Royal Disguise is his Greatest Triumph .
1 important point that u mentioned again: FIRST you take the step, then the inspiration and the motivation will come. This is so true in 90% of time. FIRST TAKE A STEP, THEN U GET THE MOTIVATION!!!!
I've never related so well to heartbreak. I've always wished I could know what It felt like, because then I could infer what love felt like. But I now understand better that heartbreak is understanding that you have nothing to give this person no matter how much you want to. Simply because they have nothing to truly give you
Kinda weird to stumble upon this video after the night I had last night. Last night I went out for the first time in 7 years. Just got out of a relationship (that 7 years). First time I've ever been on a dance floor, first time I've been out as a single dad, and honestly I had a lot of fun. Drinking and dancing with cute girls. It honestly gave me a new sense of motivation to keep improving.
By far the best self improvement video I’ve seen. The people that watched this and truly understood what this man has to say will be successful in one form or another 1000%. This is what I needed. Pure perfection of the self improvement.
As my perspective changes, I feel part of manhood is 'after the fight' being the real fight. Heartbreak isn't really the issue, it's not the pain of loneliness. But what about the next one, the *real one* that's a bigger thing harder to see. Like getting strong, the challenge is what will you do after? What will you do with a little success or a little failure, making a change you know is right that wouldn't have happened before. It's necessary and part of it to find the way, but you're not on it until those moments. Like philosophy, that 'I've got it now' can be an intoxicant blinding you to greater things. How do you handle winning? How do you handle being a man? But I'm just one guy. It's hard to explain, I'm just noticing in real life more often that accepting having a way to go is like a cliff, haul yourself up and you notice you climbed a level.
I’m so glad you asked this. The biggest part of being a man is that there is no “after the fight” or “mountain top.” We must always work HARD and be improving until the day we die. Only once you’ve accepted and embraced that reality can you call yourself a man. Now stop thinking about it and get started brothers!
Almost every aspect of self-improvement is something that we can do on our own. But the social aspect is, perhaps, the ultimate manifestation of our self-improvement journeys and that requires other people and for many of us, that's scary. And that's why it's the hardest.
i bet on the gymcel, thats how i started out, gave me the boost to make great connections both in business and brotherhood, but i do agree that if you get content with that lifestyle of doing the bare minimum as a man you will be stagnant and contradict your idea of self improvement
Be a social gymcel.. join a boxing/ martial arts gym. It’s been the best thing for me. I still love the gym but there’s nothing like going through a good fight in the ring. Those places are made for you to pair up and get out of your shell. I’m a huge introvert but pairing up with peers forces me to cohere and be a social animal and learn to fight at the same time
I feel what you’re saying. But some people who are just starting can’t start EVERYTHING at once and work on all aspects at ONCE. I’m just going through self improvement and gym is a main goal because I’m really not happy with myself, I need to be happy with myself
Yeah I think there's definitely phases that one has to go through. Being a social butterfly means having at minimum baseline of confidence..and sometimes that means being monk mode and a gymcel for a while.
Start off by talking to people in the gym. Get to the point where you're always saying "Hi" to someone, both male and female, when you go to train. Start off with the employees that work the front-counter. They HAVE to be nice to you, lol. Most people you won't ever get past the "Hi" stage and that's OK, but others may go beyond that. Ask them what kind of workouts they're doing, what their fitness goals are, do they play other sports, etc..., then go from there if they seem to appreciate your company. Guess what, everyone is "scared" to talk to new people. By being the first person to say "Hi" and introduce yourself, you're almost always going to be the cool guy.
@@SamMoreno970 I lived at home this year (Elisha would hate that 😆) so was able to save decently. My govt contracting job ended last week so I have no job, no lease, no children or pets. Nothing holding me back.
16:30 Stop making your life so small You're putting yourself in a little cocoon Stop with the being a gymcel Stop being a loner and a loser Stop accepting this loserdom Stop self-improving and putting yourself in this little box so that your world is small, so that you think you control everything, but there's no new inputs There's no chaos There's no, you know, you're not allowing God to really give you, to bless you in a sense You're blocking yourself off, because you're in charge of your own little world, you're your own little god, so God can't really bless you.
I’m so used to California. And although it has the best weather who cares man? lmao I always thought about moving out. I always had a bit of imagination of what’s going to be like to move out to a different State. I’m actually going to write it down specifically and I’m actually going to move out. All I know is that I’m going to survive and thrive at the end. I’m currently in college. I know that I’m wasting my time. I know I have to change. Thanks for the reminder bro!
I had to keep myself from clicking off this video, but a part of growth is keeping an open mind. The video is paused at 1:41 and I will watch till the end to hear what you have to say. Now although I do not like what I’m hearing so far, and I can not discuss with you in person and in real time, I will respect what you have to say.
Im glad that when i was 19 i felt the 'will' to move out. I was unhappy at home, and needed to make a change. Things are different now, sure. But there are many things i wouldnt have learned if i stayed at home. I remember thinking at one point, im going to stay at home until i have it all set. But that isnt always realistic or even possible
I had a friend who was that social animal and he was just pure chaos I could tell he’d never accomplish anything significant because he never had routine. Self improvement is not the end all but it’s about focus the will thing you’re talking about. The social party animal easily devolves into the guy who wakes up and he’s 50 still going to the bar to party and broke he never grew up. I liked the chaos but so easily it is to get sucked into it like a void. You want the chaos of success you just transfer that party chaos to taking risks and shooting for the stars. Very successful people don’t go to the club every night they have to make a sacrifice it’s pure luck if you’re drunk and got the bag. Yes at the time that party animal will get all the women and fake friends but I’ll put my money that they’ll be left behind and stuck in their ways they have no will because they have no discipline.
loved this video thankyou. In my experiece having the will to push through hard times leads to amazing growth. I am currently going through heartbreak and strongly relate to what you said. it fucking sucks but I have and am continuing to learn so much about myself. keep putting yourself our there, keep working towards growth and be thankful for hard times. God has given you this opportunity to persevere and become stronger by working through hard shit push through and be greatful.
Interesting thoughts, I agree on the stuff you said, that's the knowledge passes by generations. Ancient Greeks used to set on a journey when they were about to hit higher education, to see other perspectives and to see how wast world is, journey builds character and helps to learn how to take care of yourself. I went to west Asia with one way ticket for almost 2 months, definitely one of the best adventures I had ever had. Anyway highly recommended just to put yourself out of the comfort zone daily
@@danbaltic9678 IMO, worrying about where you could have been is just added mental stress. It's no different than guys 10 years ago who took up BJJ/MMA when they were in their 30s saying they wished they had started in high school. Bad mojo, imo. The reason why things didn't happen for you then is b/c you simply weren't read for it. You weren't ready to take the advice, you weren't ready to put in the work, you weren't in a position in your life where you had an interest to seek out certain information, etc... Be grateful that you have the opportunity to do it now and think of the benefits you will enjoy by doing it now.
Only 29, what could guy who is middle age say then? Your prime is not even near yet, make moves stop looking back that's how you will waste even more time.
I understand the points trying to be made. We just have to know how to reapply what is learned from the gym & anime into the real world. Most of these “ socials “ are phony. They don’t have real wealth or game. they just pretend too. Find deeper meaning gentlemen and express it no matter where you are. ⛩💯
your channel is genuinely great. you kind of feel like the opposite of all those self improvement channels. you don’t talk about fear or shame you look at this objectively
I left a good girl 10 months ago she met someone new 5 months ago and I’ve tried too become a better man ever since and it’s too late, she told me she loves me him and I blame myself. She did nothing wrong too me and was perfect
If you want to become more social then just think more positively stop thinking all of those people dont know what im going through and all the things i have gone through and im better than them, no everyone has something to share you know conversation is a clash of realities, when your going to talk to somebody stop thinking oh its gonna take all my energy the reason this happens is you are probably not being yourself your not acting naturally just chill be chill relax, just listen to their words and ask questions interesting questions.
The extremely social guy is going to get all the promotions, girls, opportunities, etc..No one cares about your muscles if youre a weirdo. Its all about balance
Hey Elisha, you truly are a gift of god thanks for all the videos you make. Have you made any videos about fear of failure? If not it would be of great help if you could talk about it. Thanks
@@dejanb1491 No one said anything about partying. You messed the point of the video entirely. It's like the people who go to class (college) and then just go straight home, rinse and repeat. Sure, you might make good grades, but then when you graduate, you're wondering why you can't get a job.
@@liyon316 And what do those college parties and clubs do to help get you a job? Responsibility, discipline, competence, etc. does not come with that life. And that’s what makes you succeed in various ventures.
Agree but disagree brother If you live in an expensive state it’s better to be a gym cell save money and move out later in life with a safety net. Taking risks is easier when you have a safety net if you take risks with no net you risk getting sick of stress.
You don't need to move out to develop your will. Look at your life if you do not get a lot of money & don't get buff. That should be enough to motivate every man on this earth to work 8 hours seven days a week, keep their home clean, work out everyday, and eat healthy. You do that for 2 years and then you take the money you saved and try to build something with it. You will probably get a girl & escape financial slavery, and you'll never forget how shitty that part of your life was (those two years).
The reason I say 8 hours a day of working is because traffic, and you need 8.5-9.5 hours of sleep a day for your body to recover & to help you not age as quickly.
@@bobthebuilder9416 personally I disagree with you on moving out. Moving out gives you a lot more responsibilities and forces you to go out and find social interactions. Since 90% of the population now a days get thier social interaction either by their family members or on social media (which is a fucking disgrace). I don't agree moving out right away at 18 for the people that don't have enough money but moving out or even moving into dorms have taught me something. Many if the people I've shared a flat with where fucking slobs and didn't care of themselves.
@@rovite359 I moved in dorms and half of my side was clean my roommates was dirty. I didn't think of it at all at the time but it may have taught me something. My point is though, whether you move out or not, each male needs to save up around 10k or 20k in cash, and have a reliable car that's paid off (probably around 10k or even 15k). At most entry level wages for teens, they need to work everyday for a year or two to have this, for eight hours each day. Each male, on top of this, should ALSO be working out everyday, and should be shredded. They ALSO, for an hour or two a day, need to be advancing their skills that they like that will earn them money. Now, if they have their parents cook them a pound of lean beef every night, I believe that's good. But, most males will need to grill their own food too, and clean their mini electric george foreman. Each male also needs 8.5-9.5 hours of sleep. Now, you factor all this in together, and you have a man who hasn't moved out, has a car, has a 10k or 15k nest egg to start a business with, and who worked everyday in a living hell, while also getting enough sleep to help his body, while also working out at home everyday. I'd say that's a 100x better of a plan than someone moving out, because getting a 15k nest egg and getting a car for 15k (30k total) requires the same amount of work hours as moving out. Because regardless if you move out or not, you need to be working 8 hours everyday till you have these things. your youth is fleeting. You don't have time to dilly dally. You need the money fast, two years or less max. Working everyday for 8 hours, managing your time and your emotions so you are able to sleep 9.5 hours a day, cook for yourself, and do a homeworkout for 20 minutes a day, in my opinion, will make you into a much better man, because you're a man who knows how shitty working is, who will never want to do it again, who has provened to have the ability to manage his time, but that also now has 15k in cash to start a business with, as well as a car to get from point a to point b
I totally agree with you, but I don't think it's enough, at least around 100k saved for creating a business and if it fails you can figure your shit out with rest of what is left (20-60k). In my country if you're working waaay above average paid job (average here is only 600...) which is 1.5k-2k (and working on something else on the side) it would be around 5 years, given that you will spend some of that earned money on yourself and other shit which comes up. That's my plan at least, now I'm finishing final year of HS and Imma get into higher school/college which is 3 years and after that I'll be power engineer and working in power plant (I got the connections;) for about 5 years and then get into one company so I could study it and CEO of it for some time and after all that, earned money and priceless knowledge will be used for some big shit. Sucess takes 12 years, man should plan big, but don't plan small things because beaty of life is about small details, and also humans should be about bigger things than themselvs. Have a gainful day.
I never leave my room except to go to work, and i got invited to go a DJ frens rave set he was headlining, and im SOO used to talking myself OUT of going out and exploring and doing random stuff and being in a social environment when im usually isolated an alone 24/7, so this time i decided "fuck it! Im gonna go to this rave and have fun and see what happens!?" And it was fun but lonely since i have no frens to party with and the guy who invited me was performing so i just had a few drinks and danced the night away like an idiot. Then some random doods from Australia bumped into me and started chatting and found out they were going snowboarding in Whistler and i told them i always dreamt of doing that and they just randomly added my IG and invited me to come with them, then i was dancing on the dance floor and somehow started dancing with a cute girl and somehow i dont even remember how, suddenly she has her tongue down my throat and grinding and dancing with me and we exchanged info and had a chat after the rave and clicked well and we're both excited to see each other and go on a date.. All in all if the normal "ME" just talked myself out of being invited to my frens rave and not going out to a club on a weekend like a normal young man normally would or should, i WOULD NEVER have met cool ppl, got invitations to go do fun cool shit, and met some cute girls and made out with one and made a connection with one, if i sat at home playing games and watching netflix id be sitting around thinking "why am i sooooo lonely and depressed!?!" Moral of the story.. not EVERY single time you go out is going to be exciting, BUT you have NO IDEA what the NEXT social outing is going to be like, 1 weekend you might just get drunk and dance by yourself and maybe casually meet some ppl, and othertimes you might end up somehow fucking a cute girl you barely met or know and networking and making new frens and experiences, some are a little dull, and sometimes theyre down right fucking amazing, its like a random experience game, you just have to go out even when you have no frens to go out with, just being there, maybe having a few drinks to help you loosen the fuck up and relax and feel a little more confident or brave to talk or dance with girls or making frens etc
There's other fun stuff besides partying. Meet girls & do hobbies with them. Way better than chilling with dumbass dudes who don't wanna better themselves (not a hit against you Elisha. Almost every single one of my high school friends didn't make anything of themselves or settled for someone they didn't like)
I feel what you’re saying but you don’t need to be a social freak to come in contact with financial opportunities, you can get the best of financial opportunities online without meeting anyone in person. This might be important when it comes to meeting women but not financial opportunities.
financial opportunities comes from putting yourself in places where the financial people will be in. not meaningless random places but places carefully chosen
Why does everything needs to be done to get something in return? What abt meeting people in person and feel the energy around just for the sake of 'living'...u a fuckin social animal....HUNT.
