Emotions are NEVER IRRATIONAL: feelings are not always justified 

Since only attempts at reason can be rational or irrational, and since emotions make no claims to reason, then emotions can neither be rational nor irrational. Their experience is always valid, but they are not always justified. This is because the thinking on which the emotion is based might be irrational or misaligned with reality. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to evaluate our own thinking -- especially when we're emotional. In this episode, I provide a concrete example of how to do this using an unjustified experience of guilt. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WrXBzQ2HDEQ.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ru-vid.com/show-UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #emotions #mentalhealth

Honestly speaking, I find tremendous value in every video of this channel.

This is important decoding of therapist talk. Therapists frequently comment that “x feeling is valid,” but the average lay person hears this as meaning “x emotion is reasonable/correct.” And I’ve sat in the room where a narcissist heard that their feelings were “valid,” and immediately weaponised that statement.

When I'm angry at or hurt by someone, I often wait a while before saying anything to that person. I do that because sometimes during that waiting period, I realize that the emotion was not justified.

"As reality does not change significantly from one moment to the next...the more a person thinking is aligned with reality, the fewer egocentric emotions tend to floress, which is generally experienced as PEACE" YOU ARE A GENIUS, BRO

Never change your cover art. It's timeless, professional, and classy

1. Thought: I got screwed over in divorce, and lost my money, house and kid. 2. Emotion: Regret/anger at getting married. 3. Adaptive Behaviour: Never getting married again. 4. Run this emotion through the regret/anger-specific protocol to confirm behaviour and allow the emotion to fade with time. W Dr Taraban.

Finally someone threaded the needle on how feelings relate to logic for me! Also, it should be noted that if you apologize when you haven't transgressed some rule or commitment, you're effectively lying to the person you're apologizing to as well as yourself. That's extremely hurtful to a relationship.

Exceptional way of dissecting emotions. Really appreciate your work, I learn a lot from it.

“Emotions are embodied cognition” perfectly said.

I know you'll not see this message due to so many but thank you for the content you produce for us for free in such a good manner and easy to digest and comprehend. Thank you sir. This is my emotion based on rational thinking that I found it valuable in a time of need. Have a great day.

Agree, thats why they say sometimes you just have to walk away for an hour or 2 to clear your head and think a little more clearly.

For a person who wrestles with guilt and shame SO much, this vid has given me a framework with which to check those feelings going forward and make sure they are valid and justified. Thank you so much!

I would love a miniseries, or a video on all the emotions and what messages they're sending - like you explained with guilt, and when they're justified and when they aren't. Thank you for your videos!

You can be angry and hold your emotional reaction in. At this point, you can find whether someone is controlling or not. A toxic person might say your feelings are invalid and have a strong emotional reaction themselves because they believe you don't deserve to have a feeling.

I'd give 50% of my current net worth to have access to all your videos 20 years ago

Great topic! Emotions can be controlled. Just generally not so much in the moment of reaction. Cultivating thoughts ahead of time is key. Approaching any circumstance with gratitude instead of entitlement or desperation makes a huge difference.

Your content is changing my life for the better very rapidly, thanks a lot I would be great to have some episodes focusing on productivity issues, big love

I swear being aware that emotions are usually linked to a thought or Unconscious belief gives you a lot of pause Which is good

The value Psych Hacks provides is truly life changing. The best way to live life is to see it for what it really is. Denounce your fantasy & start living in reality!

Guy is a genius in understanding, explaining & giving remedies to, human behaviors! 🤪💗👍💗

ha, just a comment to show my badge. Keep the good work coming Orion

Nice, logical information. I appreciate it.😊

I have this conversation fairly routinely with my clients, so I'm happy you showed up in my feed here. Looking forward to sharing! Thanks for the great work you're doing for folks who cannot afford individual therapy, or who aren't ready to ask for help. You're making a difference 🙏

This is something I came up at some point to deal with some really stressful and emotionally draining situation. I analised throughly why there's very low chance of negative scenario to occur and the emotions subsided quite quickly. I think I convinced myself about the irrationality of the negative thoughts and that's what resolved it.

The good Dr. Taraban connects dots giving me new ways to think about things. Thank you.

love the strategy you shared for vetting emotions and potentially faulty logic. will try it out, thanks!

Thank you for this video. I've felt guilty about a conversation I had with a woman I was interested in but with what I understood from this video, I believe that feeling is unjustified. I didn't do anything I said I wouldn't or not do something I said I would, and though I may have been upset when talking to her, I didn't say anything to insult her, only to try and understand her, but since it was met with a response that I did not like (her saying I was crazy basically), the guilty feeling came about as a way to try and resolve the solution when in retrospect I don't believe it was me that needed to do the resolving. I am not perfect and will be upset sometimes so I dont see how it could be a violation of ethical code so there is no reason to be guilty. So if the only time I've talked to her from a place of confusion and upsetness caused her to block me without giving me an explanation or apology, then I can't be upset because it's not fair for her to expect me to be perfect. If anything she violated an ethical code by acting in ways that most people would think she is expressing interest only later to be told she was never interested and only trying to be friends. I was upset at the way she acted and all she could say was "Im sorry you took it that way" not even taking responsibility for it. Thanks for reading my essay lol

I can relate to so much jn the great little video. ‘Guilt’ has been too much in my life… and for no real reason..

Man, would a protocol list for other feelings, (anger, pride, etc.) For use of emotional validation would be priceless.. this video was a good insight on if an emotions are valid

One of your best videos!

I said it once, but it was not enough. God bless you. We can be happy to live in the same time as you!

I do not say this often, watching your videos lately really made me realise what a gem of information you provide to the public. Such a great interesting topic, thank you.

This is beautiful, because it is told with so profound validation...

Emotions are sources of information to be analyzed and dissected. Not acted upon immediately. There's usually a hidden meaning behind each emotion, and knowing yourself and being completely honest about situations helps you find that hidden meaning. Even knowing actual human nature , and whats naturally instinctual to our survival will tell us why we act like we do more often then not. Although I will say this , gut feelings should always be trusted. Those are guides.

An iluminating piece of wisdom, sir. This is a top ten video. One of your best ones ever

What we perceive we believe. And emotions alter perceptions

1:12 emotional person 7:50 8:43 opposite Action

Emotions are embodied cognitions.

I'm really happy that I found this channel. It's helping me in so many different ways. Thank you🌺

That was incredibly useful. Thank you.

Dr. Orion, can you share protocols for other emotions, too (e.g., shame, anxiety, anger, etc)? This video was incredibly helpful.

Great video Orion. Do you have any other protocols for other emotions?

"All emotions are valid but not all emotions are justified." The way I've been putting this for years is: emotions aren't necessarily rational, but they ARE logical. They make sense to the experiencer because they are the result of a chain of logic, but that doesn't necessarily make them rationally defensible. Where things get muddier is where the logic of an emotional response, while irrational on the surface, speaks to a deeper and unconscious awareness of second-order effects. Emotions are often evolved heuristics for optimising survival that can be arrived at through overt cognition at the cost of a lot of work, even if that's rarely done. Update: oh look, he got to the evolutionary bit. Different words, same thinking. Excellent video.

Irrational means "not rational" Just because they don't attempt/claim to be rational, doesn't mean they aren't "not rational". If anything, it means ALL emotions are irrational.

When people say a certain emotion is irrational, what they mean is that the thought provoking it is irrational. It is just a shorter way of saying it.

Love these videos.. they're short enough to send them my friends who have ADD but packed full of great information 🤗

Thank you for all the work that you do. I wish I could give you more. You give me hope in the world.

This was absolutely gorgeous. Thank you.

I don‘t remember when I regretted something the last time. There are a few things which can stir me up, but I am convinced that it is good to get stirred up at least by those things.

"...cognitive dissonance, which is almost always eventually resolved on the side of behaviour" This is super important.

Congratulations, Orion.

Wow. Fantastic perspective.

You always have such valuable content. I'm a new subscriber. Thanks!!

Amazing video doc! Cheers

One of your best....Dilly Dilly, Jolly Well Done

Thanks!

Another home run! Thank you Doc-fantastic content!

If the thought is illogical, then the emotion is also illogical.

Very interesting. I am constantly coming back for more to this channel.

and I'm glad you went for guilt!

Makes a lot of sense, thank you.

Just ordered your book, looking forward to a great read!

Great explanation of a lifetime of behaviour about 70 years too late.

¡Gracias!

Sometimes I feel too dense to understand you man. I'm trying to. I love the vids

I found this video to be exceptionally useful and instructive. I am sure I will use the protocol in the future.

Thanks!

So true. So true

Beautiful. I’d love to see the protocols for all the emptions

Im REALLY interested in this particular topic, that of separation of the emotion itself (always valid) vs the thinking that drives it (subject to logic and implicit rules). Namely, I’d love to hear more on this relative to women and anger. Maybe, hopefully, you got one already that covers this. My marriage is loaded with one argument after another that reads as “she’s angry, her feelings are always correct, therefore the man is wrong.” I dance between putting on a Oscar winning performance apologizing for what can’t be explained to me (logically) as wrong doing “I’m sorry, I made you feel like that” to a multi day silent treatment if I choose not to apologize. I’d love some flash cards out of this.

You're refreshingly lucid. Thanks for these videos. Although they're a bit short, but I get it. This is a content business model and creating content is a chore. I just prefer listening to 45 minute to 2 hour content (2x is really helpful but it distorts the perceived level of intelligence of the speaker, just as all smart phones make people who are not smart look smart).

So well articulated 👏

1:49 Perfect.

emotions then are just a fact that you can take as being true. a subjective truth if you will but the emotion is usually tied to objective event, and the feeling to change it. The question then is, is the emotion congruent with the event, and with the want to to change it - this would make it either rational (if the feeling is appropriate to the event and the desire to change the event makes sense) or irrational (if the feeling is disconnected from the event and the desire to change the event would have no effect on the original feeling)

I think behind every emotion is a nervous system reaction. We then process these emotions with thought.

This was extremely helpful. Thanks!

Hi, I'm doctor O'Ryan Taliban and this is ALALALALALALALALAL KABOOM!!!

I get it. Emotions could be justified for the situation a person perceives. What the person sees may not match up with reality.

Alternatively, people are not rational calculators, but emotional reciprocators. No one socially fairs well with attempting to be Spock. Emotions in and of itself has its own logic, whether we call it emotional logic or emotional intelligence, and the capacity to acknowledge and comprehend this, can lead one to the process of emotional fluency.

this is very helpful

I tend to be very good at not letting emotions cause me to make poor decisions. The problem is that even if I try to ignore them and take the reigns, they’re still there and many of them are negative emotions that hurt regardless of what I do. Every emotion I have feels unjustified.

Great info and great explanation. Thank you Doc

okay, this is unrelated to the topic but its been burning on my mind and i wanted someone like you to answer it, i respect your rationality and calmness and ability to mix biology and psychology in your analysis making it fair and not woman hating or shaming or taking sides...so, the question is : do men hit the wall? is there an age where a man goes out the market? i've been hearing a lot of ''women age like milk and men age like wine'' (not on this channel, at least not so crudely) and while i understand, biology and childbearing and youth and all that, it has been explained to me and i have swallowed the pill (so this is not me being a bitter woman) but i'm just looking for fairness. if biology and youth and childbearing and all that is true, it must also be true to men, right? don't older men also become easier to tire, get diseases, lose erections, gain weight, get arthritis, become impatient with romance and courting games etc...just coz their sperm doesnt stop and they can impregnate a woman at 70 doesn't mean that they will or this is likely to happen....if women hit 25 and fall down their peak, dont men hit 45 and fall down their peak too? please reply.

If an emotion is a reactionary cause from an illogical or unjustified thought, that by necessity makes that emotional response also illogical and unjustified. Saying it is a rational emotion gives room for people to think the thought itself was also rational or logical or reasonable. This is the whole reason of the statement, "facts over feelings".

Should I be apologising to the woman who was hurt by my words, for the sake of the relationship, or should I run through the list to see if her emotions are justified? I am weary to apologise at every turn to appease her, for fear of setting us up for failure in the future. I want a fulfilling, functional non-toxic relationship and set the standards early to achieve that...

Dude you are so underrated!

If someone kicks me in the nuts, I get angry, which I'd argue is quite a rational reaction.

FANTASTIC!! 👏👏

Love your work. Do you have or can you make a checklist for all of the major emotions?

I agree completely

I loved this video Dr Tarraban. I beg you, please do a short series on emotions, I've been doing a lot of research/reading on emotions as of late and this is the first time that I've been given the idea of emotional responses being a reaction to a thought (I'm assuming you mean thoughts to be more like images / phrases rather than extended logical reasoning) Anyway, thanks again, much much appreciated 👍🏿

Problem is some people do not ever feel guilt or are self reflective

That is very interesting, fear is an emotion, that works on the cellular level, Fear is an emotion, to trigger the body to prepare for survival. 🤔 ❤❤❤

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Why does the outside background always look sunny in the daytime? Can you please make a video when is raining outside so I know your real? Heh, great content as always, so insightful and greatly helpful.

Behind every emotion is thought? Emotions are the stimulus of thought.

such a valuable video

Orion love your content. Would like to explore some 1 on 1 consultations

I really like this one but the problem is we are taught in my group that justified anger is a luxury that we can't have. Specifically as a recovering alcoholic, do you think in my case I should always opt for the apology and making amends?