Limitations make you better: figure out your batman rules 

No one likes the idea of being restricted. However, limitations benefit you in several substantive ways. In the first place, they help prevent your life from going off the rails when you finally attain the success for which you have been striving. And in the second place, they force you to become better than you are to compensate for the self-imposed handicap. These are your "batman rules." I discuss more in today's episode. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WrXBzQ2HDEQ.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ru-vid.com/show-UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #selfcare

Batman rule: don’t react in anger. Wait until the poison has transformed into something more useful.

When I went skyward in business success and eventually got into some pretty serious legal troubles with a girlfriend, my brother said something that stuck with me: 'Good Choices limit your options... Bad Choices limit your freedoms'

"Dont lie to get sex, do disclose your true intentions with a girl before it happens!" Makes the game harder but also causes less heartbreak!

Orion might be batman when he's not posting videos...

My rules were: Don't steal. Be onto others as I'd want others to be onto me. Live through virtue. These rules have recently undergone a revision. I realised I had been too naive and not completely honest towards myself. So I flip it around, Don't steal, including from myself. Be towards myself as I'd want others to be towards me. Live through virtue towards myself. Treating myself with dignity helps me hold others to similar standards.

You had me at "Batman"

I learned years ago to set dos and don'ts, wills and wont's. They'll keep you safe.

The problem for many successful people is that they then lose their former ethical framework. The key is to keep it after success happens.

This man is operating in his purpose.

"A man gotta have a code."

I agree. I believe that I have a very good example.I have retired from a professional occupation after 43 years. To combat cronyism (corruption) in the promotional system in order get promoted refused to compromise my ethics. Instead I developed my expertise. This worked. I attained my goals before retirement but ended my career on my terms, with my reputation and integrity intact. I developed my skills, knowledge, training, education and expertise instead of compromising myself. Very wise words in your video. Your videos are very accurate. Thankyou.

“Man’s gotta know his limitations” ~ Dirty Harry Callahan

Not having a life philosophy will mess you up especially when comes to dealing with women. You really have to have a line that you draw that can't be crossed or you will have a life filled with frustration and pain. The philosophies that I subscribe to are Stoicism and Buddhism. They overlap and are very complimentary too.

Limitations can force creativity as well. You have to find new ways to work around your limitations.

Thanks!

"The enemy of art is the absence of limitation." ~ Orson Welles (quoted by Henry Jaglom, in "The Independent Filmmaker", 1992)

That reminds me of something that I once heard when I was at a seminar. She said that: "Money doesn't make you a bad person, money just simply make you MORE of what you ALREADY are (emphasis mine)."

Agree 100% . Self Imposed Limitations also known as boundaries gives you purpose and focus to give you the foundation for determination , confidence and skill.

I train jiujitsu and my rule is to not purposefully injure people. This has actually challenged me to get better with my technique and skills. Thank you for this content Orion!

Vids like Tarabands are a testament to the webernets: I learned more from youtube in a year than ive learned from my father in my entire life… and we talk every day and have a great relationship. Damn.

I’ve been listening to your videos for about a year at this point. This is my first comment. I love the way you’re doing everything you’re doing. You’ve been extremely generous and helpful and have changed things for the better in my life and in the world. Thank you for all of these videos, your effort toward packaging high-value ideas in short form, and your overall commitment to the well-being of those around you. I don’t mean for this to sound like flattery. That’s not what this is. It’s just a dead-pan, sincere thank you. What you said about scarcity is extremely well put. I hope men hear it. I lost my livelihood because I didn’t have a framework. I lost 2 families/marriages, all of my money at one point, the respect of friends and family, love from my kids, and nearly all of my possessions - largely due to a lack of framework. Like you said, “it’s one thing to moralize about infidelity when nobody wants you, for instance. It’s quite another when hundreds of beautiful women are throwing themselves at you every day.” It is. It definitely is. I went completely off the rails when I had the means to. I was a combat veteran who experienced the lawlessness of war, and I gave up on morality at one point. It almost killed me. I’ve been given many chances by merciful and generous people like yourself to turn things around and build a new life. And I wholeheartedly agree with the importance of self-imposed limitations. I offer in addition… if we want to magnify the positive effects of limitations: find a Tribe who’s mastered the practice and dedication to frameworks that generate joyful, peaceful, generous, creative, and positive results. If we dedicate ourselves to frameworks that generate war and chaos - that’s what we’ll get. But if we dedicate ourselves to frameworks that encourage mental physical and spiritual growth - that’s what we’ll get. Thank you for everything, Orion. You communicate truths very well. I look forward to your book. Sincerely, Evan

A friend told me once in my time of anger to always handle issues like mine in a way that I could look back on at 80 years old and be proud of myself for how I handled it. It was great advice. I've also found it useful to bypass atheistic hangups about the "higher power" in recovery for alcohol/substance abuse. Your future self is absolutely a higher power worthy of respect and trust.

Ur videos changed my life

Started lifting weights 6 months ago, I was wondering if I should take supplements & stuffs. Now I have my answer: limitations will make me better 😊 Thank you!

Never seen Orion and Batman in the same room ‼️

Fantastic analogy with Batman, which is why the recent controversy with director Zack Synder who keeps insisting that Batman should kill all the more bizarre. Batman, by choice does not kill and that certainly can translate in many ways of day to day life where restraint and self-imposed rules allow a more focused pathway towards a deliberate and curated way of life.

I've been thinking along this line my entire life, this video just became the lynch pin of what I've known intuitively since I was a kid, especially the aspect of creating it for myself. This is fantastic.

"Batman" rules - a strong theme, thanks. Fortunately, as I am fairly old and have long-since consciously adopted "old school" standards, moral values, and presentational habits, then my self-selected and applied "Batman" rules are indeed quite high and personally onerous. I can hold my head-up high and genuinely say that in my dealings with other people I successfully check myself when a self-interested thought crosses my mind, and then carefully and deliberately, with fairness to both parties, speak and act IN THE OTHER PERSONS BEST INTEREST. I don't make a big thing of that process at the point of engagement or action, and I don't really know if the other party recognises the ethos behind the action, but I do know that I feel perfectly content, and indeed somewhat uplifted to the point of calm serenity, every time. Job done, no harm done, and the world is just a very slightly better place. David.

Your channel is one of the best ones on RU-vid . I always learn something useful. Thank you

This guy is wise beyond his age! Very true what he says. It's counter intuitive, limitations will free you.

At the end of the day, everyone prefers to be around the people who are somewhat predictable in the long run. Being vulnerable to a dagger wound on the back is a risk many are not willing to take.

Extremely wise words. For example I know many self-made very wealthy people who still live without wasting money on unnecessary things and still Mai Tain their work ethic and other values that made them successful both financially and in their personal life.

Thank you for enunciating what lurks in the mind of any young man. Can't tell you how many guys get into being a player, chasing their bag, and then come to be toxic assholes with comorbid disorders they never addressed. Then the bubble pops, and their damaged relationships finish dying because they never stopped to ask if they should or not, they just kept going.

That is such an excellent video,haven't seen such high quality content in quite a while! You've earned yourself a subscriber,sir.

This would also help thwart victim stance. If you see external limitations as challenges that can make you better, it could reframe the experience. The unfairness creates an additional strength.

Orion, I really like your videos and in general the work you do, the teachings you teach, and how you teach them. For me your videos are like, I can tell that it's true as you say it, but I didn't even know that I knew. But this video made me laugh, because I've been thinking about this these last weeks intently, and realized truly that I do need self imposed rules or I lead myself into the abyss. My batman rules, they're not as verbally well defined as they are in my head, but I think that basically the 10 commandments. I was never a Christian, but those have grown on me

You had me at Batman and Joker analogy. Always wondered why he doesn't just kill his enemies like the Punisher. Now I understand. Thanks Dr Orion!

Many people say : “I hope that makes sense” during their speech. Well, they shouldn’t hope, they should be sure about it. Add “to you” or change it to “I hope that helps” Anyway, your helpful insights are very appreciated here.

Your the friend everyone needs in the group

Self Imposed Extrapolated Ethical Framework!! Wow, great way to phrase it! We all do this when we get a new higher paying job and we tend to now be able to spend more since we can afford it (however, it’s on things we don’t need). It ends up getting us into debt, however, but having this framework and understanding our limitations, we can operate on a framework where we will not self destruct. I noticed I was doing this by buying new cool things, but it just contributes to the rat race. So I’m now setting limitations so I don’t fall for this. Thank you! Great Topic!

Yes ❤ The Batman Moral-Ethical Compass and internal Code of Conduct. ❤

Well, an eye-opening moment. Thank you for this message. It is priceless.

Masterful talk, this should be taught to everyone entering middle school. Looking forward to buying your book.

Your page and channel has changed my life. Taking me from a level of sadness, confusion, frustration and hopelessness regarding my romantic life and other things to now feeling encouraged and empowered based off of a sensible understanding of how people operate and how to navigate some of lifest complexities. Thanks Orion!

You are describing a personal code of conduct.

This was so well written. Your ability to take something relatable to almost everyone and use it to explain what could be a fairly confusing and counterintuitive concept, is simply brilliant. I’ve watched your presentations a lot, but this one was beautifully crafted. Seriously well done.

Self discipline to be a good person that is courageous, just and fair, works to compliment not critisize, shows interest, have good manners, work on your physical self, work mental self (take a class), be generous in time and money, and be patient. Set your ethics and virtues.

Truth and honesty are limitations in a competition. Life is a constant competition, for resources, status, mates, etc. If you conduct yourself in a "strictly moral" way, you are reducing the opportunities you have against someone who won't impose these restrictions on themselves.

Greetings! I have truly enjoyed listening and learning and have shared your videos with my sons. While i am deeply feminine, I am Divorced and have raised my sons mostly on my own and with my recently deceased father - I appreciate your clear, logical and calm energy as you share your point of view- it allows for learning and consideration as opposed to creating anguish . I am now examining my own mindsets that keep me from the relationship that I desire. Thank you.

Orion you are the person -above all others- that makes me think more. It is burdensome sometimes but I think I have to do it. Thank you.

Makes perfect sense. Something everyone needs to hear, learn and abide by.

Emmanuel Kant elegantly stated the whole of our moral intuition in a short statement. Paraphrased in modern terms. "You should treat yourself and others at all times as an end and not a means."

God sent this video to me at just the right time. Thanks Orion.

I can just say *"WOW"!* _This is EXACTLY the life I am currently living. Without realizing that I am doing it._

wise advice - but in reality I know MANY MANY very successful people that have a few limitations in their lives but none of these limits would apply to people of lesser success and wealth. And in several instances, the wealth provides unlimited opportunities - so perhaps limitations help you get to a place you want to reach but once you’re there, the table and house rules change radically…

Thank you kind sir. Your videos sure help me out a ton. Appreciate your work. Have a good one

Thank you Dr. You are also philosopher and economist to me! It is harder to be good/gentlemanly and still get ahead. But not doing “bad things” reduces stress that otherwise would inflict on you. It is fear that incites “bad things” (you may substitute the word “evil”), just as a confident soccer team won’t need to employ dirty tricks. The world is complex and one must believe in oneself in order to stay true to ones own believes. Like Batman movies. You do see baddies “win” for a while but unlike movies, the baddies don’t always lose in the end. So one must also NOT be jealous of baddies winning thru underhand means. This is part and parcel of the self-imposed rules. This is a great topic. Thank you for sharing this.

Great insight. It does seem an ethic framework is missing today. Especially if it inconvenient.

Best episode yet. And that's saying something.

This video is outstanding and timely, at least for me. At this time, I'm about a month shy of 25. I'll be celebrating my 7th year wedding anniversary in about a month as well, and I've got 3 kids. I went through something of a "loss of faith" experience, in that I'm finding myself having to define, or redefine, what I believe, therefore I've taken on this responsibility instead of depending on an otherwise established framework. On the one hand, it's been a great confrontation, but on the other with the lack of support has left me wholly burned out. In the end, and because of the reminder of this video, I strongly believe in putting my family first, setting up my wife and my children with the best kind of life I think is possible.

Beautiful episode...this is exactly the way I try to conduct my own life....having my own framework enlightened by different philosophical traditions, which includes the idea of periods of restriction...in life everything in moderation with occassional excess.

This is one of the greatest short talks I’ve heard. This is worth a multiple session of listening. This is definitely something that we all should share with our friends and family. I’m going to be sharing it and having a discussion with my sons who are in their 20s.

another excellent video that leaves a man thinking about how he runs his life

This video came at the perfect time for me . I journaled about this just yesterday. The idea of my code and what I want from my life . Big ups man this video was so good

This is one of your best videos thank you

Great thumbnail art!! This should be taught in school.

I really appreciated this episode. I found it even more valuable than most. Not being a Batman fan at first I was a little put off by your analogy but as I listened further it really did clarify things a lot. I'm going to share this episode with friends and family I would however like to hear your thoughts on how leaders of Nations and good can triumph over evil. I'll let you guess which current situation I'm talking about.

I'm saving this video so that I can discuss it with my partner. Very profound and potentially life changing. Thank you.

This might be the most profound video you’ve ever made. And that’s saying something.

This is excellent! A succinct explanation for the value of value systems independent of an individual system's own reasons for why it is important and useful.

Damn good allegory... Not enough people realize the value in this type of communication... Thanks, Doc

Thank you for that great episode. It made clear to me, on what i worked the last say three years. I tried to learn as much as possible over how we people interact and, what came clear to me throughout your video, built a ruleset for myself to guide me through life. As these ruleset isn't that well established right now and therefore kind of personal i don't want to share a lot of it, but one rule out of it is, to not flirt with women in case i don't want to start something serious anymore. As i said, it isn't finished yet and it wasn't a conscious task until now, but i already started to recognize some positive trend.

As a fan of music 2 people that come to mind are Django Reinhardt and Tony Iommi. Both guitar players that lost some function to their fretting hands. Django only had use of 2 fingers and could outplay someone with 6. Tony lost the tips of 3 fingers in a work accident and as a result had to downtune his guitar to slacken the strings and as a result created a heavier sound known today as heavy metal.

After trying several workarounds and alternative solutions for moral compass, I must say that I have always come back to rely on the ten commandments and avoiding the seven deadly sins. This video inspires me to get back to the drawing board to investigate for adjustments, or reinforcements. This comment section is inspiring as well!

My rules: Dont buy anything on loans (any form of usury) and don't get any sort of cash assistance. This has forced me to improved myself and increased my income, allowing me to buy cars in cash. Hopefully I'll be able to buy a house in cash as well.

Amazing video; quite introspective to me, the concept of putting yourself “unavoidable” rules in order to force you to become better and thrive while keeping them. Great observations

Orion, you should do another episode with your recommendation for self-imposed limitations.

This really is great advice on a second listening. The only issue is how in the world can anyone know or understand this advice before it happens to them? The first time I made $1 million I lost it very quickly because of a lack of mooring to any principles. I only now understand how important my values and principles are before the money comes because I’ve seen what happens when I don’t have those values in place before the money comes.

Back in my youth, even my parents found my strong convictions off-putting. At the time it was a form of rebellion against their solipsism, but now I feel vindicated. Thanks, Orion!

What a fantastic show - I have to watch every episode multiple times just to let it sink in

Hi Orion, such a powerful video man, you truly have one of the uniquest and rarest stories, lessons to share on youtube, thanks. True man, the paradox of the more you let go of things/sacrifice for discipline, the more you get. Also maybe when it comes to Batman and Joker being similar in many ways too, Erwin Schrödinger's quote “The total number of minds in the universe is one."

One of the best videos I've seen here

This is so funny that I just popped up on my feet after what just happened to me and I had to deal with literally just 3 minutes ago... Glad to hear this message

Great analogy use of Batman and Joker.

My ex put up a bunch of limitations that I was not aware about. One day he reached those limits & left. I think if you’re going to put up limits you need to let the other person know so they’re aware of how they can better show up for you. He was always waiting for me to “prove him right” & I fell into the trap every time, which eventually pushed him away.

God bless you! This is something that should be taught starting at childhood

This is the best video of this channel!!

Aye new ironed shirt. Congrats on the shirt and ironing upgrade.

Orian is simply amazing, you're my Batman!

I understand that you meant the term in a general, non-religious way, but as a practicing Catholic this resonated with me. I've found that the most trouble I've gotten into life and relationship-wise was from taking the pick-and-choose, cafeteria approach that you described. I was missing out on the millenia of wisdom that my ancestral faith provides. It doesn't mean that I always have answers for everything, but I haven't found a better framework for living. Most Western men would benefit from maintaining a Christian religious life, especially if that's what they were raised in. Very few men, perhaps no one, will be able to sustain a self-created life philosophy that fulfills their spiritual needs over the long term. Stoic philosophy and other red-pill type things may work for a while, but inevitably boredom and the desire for novelty kick in.

one of your best videos

Couldn’t have been a better timing for this video. RU-vid you beauty.

I ain't never gonna stop watching Psychacks!!!

What a profound breakdown of the dynamic of the Dark Knight. Relating to today’s dating scene, men today have chosen to be more like the Joker (women), instead of becoming more powerful and or better, like Batman, thus the women don’t have much of a winning chance, and aren’t having much fun dating. Powerful…

I think this is the first one of your videos that I’ve watched that went over my head lol. I understand what you’re saying, since you summarize it for us at the end, but it’s hard to think of a real life examples. Maybe give more examples of how this would manifest in normal guys lives

You say limitations but I hear discipline.

Another awesome video. I like the new themes. This is one I’m gonna share with my sons.

Spot on. This argument were made so often from atheists, that they don’t need God to act morally, but their life put already so many limitations.

Know your limits, Master Wayne