You're only as GOOD as your ROUTINES: structure is more important than you think 

I recently spent a month abroad. While the experience was largely a positive one, as the weeks went by, I didn't feel as well as I did when I was living my boring, little life back home. Almost certainly, this was due to the disruption of my routines, which I typically discharge with mechanical regularity. Nutrition, sleep, exercise, sex, and connection are extremely important for individual psychology. They help to clarify thinking and regulate emotions. Before consulting with a therapist, it might make sense to get these five things on track first. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WrXBzQ2HDEQ.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ru-vid.com/show-UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #motivation #success

Fellas, I can’t stress enough how important it is that you make working on your body a priority. Once you take care of physique, everything else is going to start falling into place. You need that strength, that strength will lead to confidence, and that confidence will lead to self satisfaction. I don’t care how rich or broke you are, make your body and health a priority.💯

"Support the habits initially, and one day those habits will support you" - - Solid advice.

Never, ever, ever give up your routines for a woman. And I can guarantee she will try to take you away from your routines. Most women only crave comfort and spontaneity and fail to realize that routines, although "boring", created the high quality man they are attracted to.

I'm an old man - 81 - and realise in retrospect that I do have these good routines. Exercise first thing, then serious reading for an hour, a short meditation period, then a good, largely unprocessed food meal. Then chores and whatever I have set as the main goal for the day. At my age that is usually just one clear cut thing that will make me feel Mission Accomplished. In the evening I go to a monastery and meditate for 1-3 hours. I usually listen to podcasts while I drive on various errands and sometimes on an afternoon walk. What I notice as particularly crucial is the morning exercise of about 30 minutes Yoga type exercise followed by some HITT with weights. That is more important to feeling of well being than that double espresso. The act of noticing what actually makes you feel better or worse is what makes this video special. It's fine to listen to Jordan Peterson tell you to make your bed, but it is even more important to notice how doing so makes you actually feel.

Iv told this to so many people just based on my own personal experience with depression. When I started sticking to a sleep schedule, working out regularly, eating semi healthy-not like a bodybuilder just not eating out everyday. And I had goals i set out to achieve and was progressing towards them. That’s always when I’m happiest in life.

I'm a single dad only parent, business owner, homeschooling two boys and we live off grid. Structure and organization is the life blood of keeping my sanity and getting things done on my farm/homestead. Good video!

“Your talking to a drug dealer” - this guy went there! And frankly it’s about time that someone in the therapeutic community started saying these things.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

I currently have no routine with no employment. It’s been 5 weeks and on the 5th week it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I have no purpose. Thank you for the boost of confidence.

In 2019 I took an opportunity to take a year off and do some self improvement in the year. I was taking classes, but I was living a very unstructured life. I was doing everything I wanted whenever I wanted and I was having a good time initially, but about six months in, I started to feel aimless even though I wasn’t losing aim, I just started to feel aimless with my day to day, I’ve always thought I hated structure but it turned out I didn’t like it but I still really needed it and it took me getting rid of it to understand, that just cause I didn’t like doesn’t mean it wasn’t helping me. Structure is like veggies, I may not be thrill to eat, but my health will decline without it.

I came to the same conclusion in my early 30s when I left a job I hated. Felt great for about 3-4 months. Around 6 months I was getting antsy and miserable as I didn't know what to do with my day as everyone else is working and movies, books and video games can only entertain you so much.

You’re so right! I have a hard time keeping consistent with a routine because a lack of discipline. My whole life has suffered as a consequence. I needed to hear this.

I've been unemployed for a month now and I agree with this whole heartedly. Lounging about and playing video games for half the day while I did job apps got old real fast and I found my mental health deteriorating rapidly. However, once I started studying for IT certifications, working on personal projects, drawing my comic and working out, I ended up becoming more productive than I've been in months. The hard part is commiting to doing the things that give me purpose, especially when the allure of video games lies just a couple clicks away on my PC.

I’ve battled with this for so long. Even within my relationship she never understood why I i’m so stuck in my routine and refusing to deviate from it, she doesn’t understand why I say I feel like shit when I do. I knew I wasn’t fucking crazy. I’ve been militant about having a structure as a man and how important it is to us.

I’m retired Army, I did 23 years. A routine life. It was a challenge adjusting but learned new routines. I still do physical fitness, eat pretty much the same breakfast of oatmeal, sleep and wake up the same time. I don’t have to work with a pension and assets but I still struggle at times with purposeful tasks. I’ve traveled, enjoy hobbies but think something is missing. Looking ahead to next year with new goals and projects. I do miss the Army life.

Hello My grandfather used to say: Don't fear routine, routine is a river were life flows Thanks for your videos Good luck

Reframing structure in a positive light, with the skeleton analogy, is brilliant. Well done!

So true. It also means that small , positive tweaks to your routine can yield outsized improvements through compounding 👍🏻

This is why I seldom travel. Travelling is presented as the meaning of life by clever marketers, when in fact you feel like you have the least amount of meaning in life after travelling for a while. Not because the place you call home is necessarily better than the one you're visiting, but because your routine is what gives you meaning. Being a mere observer gets old very quickly. Having said that, almost any place can become home if you're there long enough to create meaningful routines, so actually moving to another place or living there for a few months out of the year can be a good plan.

I’ve never saved and re-listened to any persons videos so much. The content is practical and profound. This stuff just makes sense. Thanks Dr.

A simple practical tip for guys and gals needing some structure: Use the notepad on your phone before going to sleep to make a to-do list. You can write some long term goal(s) under this list as well, to remind you of your purpose. Then tick those boxes the next day, try to do them all. You should set it up chronologically, but you don't have to be overly strict about it. Otherwise even a small mishap will derail you in completing the tasks. I've been doing this day-in and day-out for years and it definitely helps one keep a healthy routine going and consciously adjusting it based on evolving goals and preferences. Here's how it can look like for me at times, as an entrepreneur with a flexible schedule: - get up at a specific time - cold shower - go for a walk, workout - do some work - read a book for an x amount of pages or x amount of time - do more work - pay the bills - clean the house LONGTERM GOAL (you should write it down every time, reinforce the idea in your mind, for example: Get to $10000/m, read 70 books this year etc..

In my experience most of the men I've met that suffer with depression dont take responsibility for there wellbeing. When self responsiblity is key to improving ones life.

Keep doing these great videos. I've been watching for close to a year now, and I've learned so much. We appreciate you, glad these videos are a part of your routine.

The same happened to me after moving in LA for a year. No more walkability, no friends, no horsebackriding in a field, no forest. Everything is tied to cars. Even though I was glad to visit my brother there and we traveled a lot, I still was extremely homesick and was really glad to come back to Ukraine while everyone kept saying I’m crazy😂

"Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty." Frank Herbert I cannot tell you how much I can relate to your video. I barely go out to restaurants because I enjoy cooking my own meals so much, unless it's a food experience. Exercising is a must as well and learning new skills and concepts is very stimulating to me (the essence of life). A trip to the Bahamas for two weeks doesnt sound in a bit interesting to me. I took me years to creqte those systems but you realise what they bring to you when they are shaken a bit for one reason or another. And most oeople that I know who score low in self confidence, energy levels and ambition don't have any kind of routine in many aspects of theirnlives. Great video.

Chaos Is Powerful But Yet Unstable . Only Order Can Harness The Infinite Energy from Chaos

After 2-3 weeks, I relate to this when away from home. A great vacation lies between 10-15 days.

Yes! I figured this out a couple yrs ago.Success isn't wishful thinking, it's building& cultivating productive behavioral patterns over time that yield positive results.

I always excelled exceptionally well; whenever habits were forced upon me by authority of teachers in boarding school or parents. I always lagged behind, when I had to follow habits on my own. I am 44 years old male and i have seen both phases for decades.

I've sent this brilliant video to my son who is suffering unnecessarily I believe. He isn't broken (which he believes/ reinforced by therapists/drug dealers) his lack of routine and structure is not correct. Thanks Orion 🙏🤙

This is exactly how I feel and function. Purpose, routine, discipline and exercise are EVERYTHING.

I owned 2 businesses and was drowning until I fixed my routines. It doesn't create limitations it creates freedom.

“Support the habit so the habit can support you” 🔥💎 7:36

For the last 3 months, I've been traveling in SEA. For the very same reasons, where ever I went, I booked Airbnb apartment with kitchen, gym and possibly a pool. Cooked my own food. Never deviated from my daily routine. Morning meditation followed by jog in the nearby park. Used the gym in the apartment complex and cooked my own food. Even when I traveled to near by city where there were no facilities, I just did exercise on the mat. You need to do a bit more research however, all of this is easily doable.

Started doing calisthenics as a morning routin a little more than a month ago. Got more energy from that, started meditating. Got more energy from that, so i started doing yoga. I got even more energy from that so now ive started with math as a hobby. Ive never been as content with what I have and how I feel as right now

Woooaah!! You hit the nail on the head! I was so overwhelmed by my own mood changes and feeling like a passenger in the driver's seat that I had forgotten the real reason things had been set off balance. Loss. Loss of routine and people with new "strangers" thrown into the mix! I was mad and irritated by the helpful community and personal supports with their VERY strong suggestions of meds. Meds? "Meds! You need meds!!" To which I said, "This is starting to stress me out." But before all that was a HUGE disruption to my life routines, so much so it felt like betrayal and manifested into trauma for more than one person. I felt like a refugee and a hostage and an ugly weed in a garden that wasn't mine. Yet just the other day, week, month, just last year I knew that same garden had been my paradise. And then I watched your videos. Suddenly I saw a path I hadn't noticed before and I believed again. Like I remembered "Oh, yeah! I'm strong enough to get through this!" And I remind myself now, I am not an ugly weed, just an ugly duckling. Establishing new routines will without a doubt transform me into the beautiful swan to be. So thank you for your video! Thank you for the other videos. Take cared!

You’re blessed to have a job you like most people don’t like their jobs

I read somewhere that a solid routine structure is a common denominator among most successful people because it simplifies daily priorities... . It's an extremely effective solution to tackle our daily lives except fitness, which demands that we change up our diet and fitness routines every 2 weeks or month.

Bang on. Habits and Routines are everything. Introspection upon this is needed. LOOK at what you do everyday, to understand why you feel the way you do and why you aren't making any progress. Thank you for this, I needed more reassurance in this topic to understand the true importance of it.

Thank you, this is undoubtedly one of the most exceptional videos I have ever watched! I relocated to Hong Kong from Sweden, where I had established strong and reliable routines. The initial weeks in Hong Kong were truly exhilarating, but this excitement soon gave way to an inexplicable internal discomfort. At first, I struggled to comprehend this feeling, even considering that I might have been overly indulged in Sweden. However, I've come to realize that such feelings are completely normal when you find yourself in a foreign environment without a familiar support system, and with a language barrier adding to the isolation.

One thing I have noticed about living in the routines that bring you comfort and place you in the zone, is that time and I mean months and years, seem to pass faster until you eventually realize you are getting old. So be sure you include in your routines those that lead to your most cherished goals. In most peoples lives, these will be quality relationships that are permanent and satisfying. Family comes to mind. Be careful to avoid discounting family relationships as tedious or unworthy of time and effort.

The timing of this video for me is a wild coincidence! I've been in Thailand for two months on my own. I came with no specific plans and wanted to explore SE Asia since I have never travelled abroad before. First month, I ate and drank my way through Bangkok and Chiang Mai. As soon as I got to Chiang Mai I had this crisis of "what am I even doing here?" I felt mentally slow and could feel myself getting into bad shape. Like you said in this video, not cooking any meals, no connections being made, and no gym to go to. I decided that for the second month of my trip, I would find a Muay Thai gym to train at every day and rent an airbnb next to it instead of hopping around hotels and hostels. The difference it made in how I feel is unbelievable and taught me first hand the lesson you're trying to teach here in this video. I was hesitant to give up the original idea of seeing as much of SE Asia as I could to stay in one place for the rest of the trip. I am so glad I did. I learned a new skill, improved my fitness, made a ton of new friends, and even met a woman who I very well might be in love with 😂 but thats a story for another day. Excellent video Doc! And impeccable timing.

He is right, I've started this new personal programme where I do 10 tasks every day, like praying meditating, reading, exercising, etc. These habits have helped me greatly even in terms of building discipline. I got to 65 days consistently, and I'm in great shape, so much so that I decided to try again, but in a more focused manner (ranted, I was doing anything and everything without much structure) but I learned and now understand structure and how a routine can improve your life

I fee exactly the same way. When I go away for vacation, I'm always eager for it to end early, so I can get back to my routines. I have months of vacation time that I'm not using. My boss keeps saying use it before you lose it.

i rebuilt all of my routines this year. looking back 6 months to now, ive really transformed all of my habits. i dont eat junk. im not on dating apps. i dont peruse social media. im reading more. i study more. ive been working on a project this entire time. ive been in the gym non stop. can see abs coming in for the first time since high school. its been a process but ive enjoyed it. looking forward to another year of this.

Also, I'd say a precursor is that you have to become more interested in the long term effects of habits, as opposed to the short term bursts of dopamine that come from being spontaneous. Not that you can never be spontaneous, but generally, it should become less interesting to you than doing something consistently and seeing the eventual progress that can only come from time

This is great… I’ve never much enjoyed vacations. I always felt bored and as you say, after a few days, depressed. I stay very busy working, creating, building and earning. That is my happy place. Some would cast the “workaholic” trope. That’s a cope for those that enjoy being lazy and having zero drive to accomplish. It is very rewarding and fulfilling!! It gives me purpose and gives me a great sense of accomplishment and well being when I make or build something, or make a fat stack of $$!!

Wow, this is the first time I've heard this perspective on depression coming from a therapist. Well said 👏

That the country of routines, tea ceremonies, flower arrangement, calligraphy, drove home the importance of routines should not be lost on you.

Yeah, I can get with this. Years ago I was in deep depression due to going through a divorce, loss of my job and general isolation. It was bad. Poor sleep schedule, poor eating habits, poor hygiene, drawn curtains and the like. I only cleaned up for my limited time with my daughter and occasion in-person gaming (D&D) with my friends. I finally snapped myself out of it and began to get up at a regular time, shower, get dressed, do a couple chores, watch something new and then go to bed at a regular time, read for an hour and then do it again in the morning. Big change in my outlook. Still a struggle now and again, but way better.

We're all gonna make it brahs

Great word to the wise… I am working to get back to my structured and routine lifestyle and your advice couldn’t be any truer…. THANK YOU!!!

Excellent video Dr. Taraban, love how you landed on depression! You are right about how many of us look at structure but as you mentioned without it we are just a glob that needs a skeleton.

I agree, structure & routine keeps me focused. This is one reason I don’t like to travel anymore…💯

As a T.B.I. survivor who depends on routines to simply function independently I can only completely agree with this message 🤬

Yes! Routine is discipline. Discipline is success.

Dr Orion. Thank you for all you do. This one hit home.

@Dr. Orion: I fully agree. HOWEVER, I think such times off like you had in Japan, you could have likewise also used to become more flexible within your structure (e.g. doing calisthenics in a park or practice Judo instead of gym). This, I believe, gives you also back home the opportunity when, for instance, being in a relationship maintaining your routines while still being flexible enough to adapt to your partner, as needed

Jordan Peterson encourages beginning with making your bed. I was overweight for a few years. Got into a bad routine. Fast forward two years and I'm back in business. Great advice.

Absolutely, thank you.

I got a dog a month ago and he has pulled me out of a sedentary noise-dive. I exercise 1000% more and talk to loads of folk out walking the dog. I have a routine now because I live around the dog's needs.

Makes sense. I'll think about this again tomorrow, at this same time of day.

i m a cnc machinist i have to be places doing things at certain times of the day and the week. as long as i go to work n hit my marks so to speak, i have $$$ at the end of the week to buy stuff and $$$ at the end of the month to pay bills. i know i can completely relax within this structure that is my day to day life.

Honestly the best video you have ever made!

This video is Gold.

Great! I’ve been waiting for this one! Thanks a lot!

This message is absolutely on point.

Yes. Just like you said. Thanks for reminding me.

Thanks for steadily blessing us with new analogies Doc. We do not take it for granted.

This advice is fire. Thank you for uploading this video.

I really appreciate you shooting your videos with a single shot 🙏🏽👍🏽

Thank you.

Thanks Doc. Recently found your channel. I have been binge watching all of them. Excellent content, and i really appreciate the generosity of your advice.

Amazing point Orion

Thank you for this episode 🙏

Man...I felt like I needed to hear this more than I think I needed to hear this

I really needed to hear this. Thank you for all the helpful, quality videos that you post.

Thanks!

Wow, brilliant ! Thank you

The context is very important. I used to run a business, which has a sort of routine, in that you're working all the time, but I suppose lacked routine in that that work was always changing. I hated it. The stress of the routine destroyed my health, even though I always worked out a lot, did a tonne of yoga and ate well. I just couldn't digest food so ended up chronically constipated and then developed hemorrhoids from hell. I retired very early ten years ago to try to regain my health, and, even if I sometimes have too much time on my hands, I find it very easy to transport myself back to that routine I had and thank my lucky stars I'm now a free spirit. It's pretty obvious that your health is by FAR the most important thing in your life. When you're in serious pain, or you can't take a shxt, nothing's enjoyable. A good routine can help with your health for sure, and perhaps you can't truly understand the blessing of good health until you've suffered prolonged ill-health, but that is really the only thing that matters. If you can maintain that without a routine, I think you're still winning.

Life is pain, either the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret

I totally get this and I'm glad to hear someone else say it. I often say that vacations are wasted on me.

That was the most perfectly delivered and contextual F Bomb I've ever heard. It really drove home the message. Great vid

I couldn't agree more with this, great topic! I love my happy and healthy routines.

Great advice! Thank you Mr. Orion

Just by seeimg the title i know thats exactly what i needed.

Great one! Glad to see these kind do videos too from you!

Absolutely agree. Routine is so beneficial.

Your routines are so important! I feel I can serve people in my life at my best capacity when I’m in a routine. I love what I do for my work

Amazing!

I was listening to this earlier and all I was thinking was "this is so true!!"

Sir, you're brilliant. Thanks so much!

Thank you!

The way you logically broke it down is so pragmatist. I resonate with male psychologists like you. Thanks.

Absolutely spot on. I retired at the onset of Covid aged 73. Ever since I have struggled to establish a rewarding routine. My wife of 57 years had her own routine disrupted by my presence full tine after many years. I can truthfully admit to feeling low at times when retirement is supposed to be life's bonus. Thankyou.

I agree, good video. Structure and routine can seem boring and easy to underestimate especially when younger.

This is the key right here

Thanks! Love your content, you are a game changer.

" Your source of sorrow lies in the potential that you are wasting " - somebody not me.