Enneagram: Type 2 Checklist 

Being a Two is a very complex situation. This is the first time I’ve ever heard a description of Two-ness without it sounding simplistic and condescending. Being a Two AND a mother is super complicated because of course I want my kids to feel better and how else are they going to feel better without my love and support-even when they are fully grown and need to find their “feel better” from within themselves!! So many more layers, but thank you for not making Twos a caricature.

I wasn’t expecting to cry this morning. I feel so profoundly understood. Thank you. [2w1]

I tested high in 2 but also 9. Listening to this video made me realize I resonate strongly with a #2...

I've watched this video a number of times and I learn from it still. It's a blessing and a curse to be such a massive positive person (2w3). Tom I can't thank you enough 🙏 and I aspire to bring the world as much help as you do one day; I'm working on it!

You are really offering a service to folks. I’m glad that you’re willing to sharing it with Christ followers. I think some people would have a hard time embracing this. But, it is very helpful for folks to walk the talk.

You just described me! LOL ENFP, 2w3, Empath, 2(sx) 7(so) 9(sp). I feel 2s must be very Spiritual receiving unconditional love from the Lord, because others will let you down. But you haven't seen shoul my shadow self.

I always love when biblical teaching is brought into these videos :)

I'm a 2 with a 1 wing. I understand about feeling responsible when other people say things aren't right. What helped me was a coworker that I shared that with said one time it's never about you. She said she never assumed that. Eventually 2 goes to 8 and asks directly. This is an interesting video. The Disease to Please was very helpful. Twos have to shut things down or stop things when people start to disrespect them. That's a hard skill to learn. Thank you for sharing.

It wasn't until I found this channel that I realized how awful it is to be on autopilot when it comes to helping others. Yes this year was eye opening because if other people can live with out being this way man so can I. Next year's work to be done. Thank you for the information.

The 2 in my life is incredibly unhealthy right now and as her friend I don’t know what I should do. Hope this video can give me some insight Edit: 20 mins in and I’m shaking at how accurate you’ve described my friend xD

Thank you so much. I love ur work. Pls continue in terms of relationship between types and the coping skills an defense mechanism of each type. So grateful 💐

That's why ultimately, getting my love from Christ makes me the most healthy. Lowering expectations with loved ones and asking for the help I need from my family has been so good and helpful. If could carry my whole family I would try but it's been good to depend on them too (Ex: kids helping with the household chores).

Holy shit I resonate with this! Hearing this makes me cringe so much and this is the part of me that I try so hard to hide. The crazy thing is even if someone tried to reassure me I would probably push it away or play it down. I feel so uncomfortable when people express appreciation or gratitude. Like there’s a part of me that appreciates it but another part of me wants to run and hide.

I recently did an enneagram test and found out I was a 2. Your video was one of the first ones I watched on this and it was very helpful. Thanks for taking the time to make this video.

the way you describe 2s is pretty accurate but i still feel like you dont understand us. when you give your time and heart and soul to make everybodys life better and they reward you with "who cares what you do for me. nobody is asking you to do it anyway" it hurts you to your core. it just destroys your soul and faith in humanity. And most people are selfish and they only care about themselves and i get that. But from your family or from the people you consider as friends, you would expect something more.

Yes! Affection is is the air i breath! 😂 My husband praises me all the time. He must be a huge part of my health.

You're right, Chestnut is a 2. She said she's self-preservation, because she can relate to wanting to feel cared for by her partner in the way I child would.

Spot on. "Love keeps no record of wrongs." But a 2 can't help themselves. How do they overcome the list making?

I am loving hearing Dr. LaHue talk about my Two-ness. I was listening to this last night and was laughing out loud feeling like I was a Two-ness comedy show! I love Dr LaHue's simple way of explaining what drives me, my impulses and clearly understanding the air I breathe in my full Two-ness. I was able to laugh inside "thinking well really feeling like oh my gosh YES this is how I show up in the world. And yes, it is very very hard, which is why other videos brought me to tears when he was tapping into my pain points. Am so grateful to my Type 9 friend and colleague for putting this on my path. And YES it is all true! The good, the bad and the ugly! So grateful to you Dr. LaHue for your humanness, compassion and passion for helping us better understand and see ourselves in our lightness and our darkeness.

Tom, I love your videos, but this is the first one that's made me cry my eyes out. It's like you have a book about me and you know me better than I know myself, and it's so painful. I am a 2w1, not 100% on whether my self pres/social is my strongest subtype. I have always struggled with that question 'who am I?' when I'm not just pleasing and doing for others. Another part of your video really struck me as well, the part about friends... I won't go there! I would love to talk to you some day. Once I have the money, I am going to book in. Thank you for the surgery so far 🙏 x

I'm a 5 and i love having a two in my life 🥲

Dr LaHue, thank you for your videos. Your series on 2's has provided more moments of profound introspection... and I have to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

As a 4, this video is so interesting to me I'm currently having some difficulties in my life and often end up in my stress zone I see how in my family or in my love relationship I try to anticipate the expectancy that people have over me, looking for this sweet validation It's very eerie because I see in this video a lot of strategies that I use subconsciously to get the love and recognition that I want, but I don't connect deeply to the 2's sought, I have a more 4 tone to it As a four, I'm glad I was able to no longer seek for a validation that I'm unique, but more so as seeking an intelligent eye that says "I see you" And I tend to get to the harsh 2 persona when people, whom I have seen beautiful uniqueness, don't bring this intelligent recognitive eye But through pain, patience, and when I avoid feeling like everything is at an emergency state, that if I don't shine I'll die, I connect more with my individualistic side that goes like "They don't see my worth, they are the one unable to enjoy what I bring to life, so they're the ones losing, I am just witnessing the stupidity of people I value most on earth, and although it is painful to admit, not everyone can have this sentience" This video really helps me bring my stress down (...until I forget, relearn, get stronger, and have it deeper under my skin) Thanks a lot, as always, can't wait to see the 4 video :)))

My friend pointed out that you interrupt yourself a lot, after we learned you're an ENFP. Now whenever I hear you stop mid-sentence and say, "Okay," as if you had an adult in your head trying to stop you from talking too long, I laugh! If you were a comedian, you would sell a shirt with your face on it that just says, "Okay". 😂 I avoided eye contact with you so much during this video. I even hid once! 😂 Denial? I have ONE friend I talk with regularly, who knows me beyond the surface, other than family. I intend to make him family. You said something like, "If you realize you are valuable even if people don't decide to be your friend, then you can free yourself up to be yourself." This is actually pretty big for me. I told my BFF that I have trouble being myself because I want to be liked, and I'd been doing it so long that I wasn't even sure if I could tromp around being myself and everybody would like me anyway. This will help. I didn't relate to the parts where you described feeling like I was the problem for unrelated stuff, but that wasn't in the checklist, whereas I agreed with everything in the checklist. Tests say I'm a 3w2 or 2w3.

Is it just me or is Dr LaHue being accidentally hilarious in this video? He has stated his dear wife is a 2, (as I think I am)-but I bet I would have guessed he’s close to a 2 anyway from the passion and inflection and tone and expressions ! He is speaking of things he knows well, very close to home. Things he has maybe said before when the camera is not rolling. 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ I find it amusing. And excellent. And fascinating as always -but this one has me switching from uncomfortable self realization to smirking at his emotional display- obviously it’s all because of his 2 wife… I mean of course it’s about her and maybe even the rest of us by extension 😏😏😏see I’m listening #pridewhatpride?

being a Two is like having an enormous fireplace and remembering that our fire will always keep us warm, even if no one else is around. also, there are ways to become the most healthy version of ourselves, right?, but just to be clear - people don't need to be "fixed"

Really good stuff .. and Happy New Year

I do feel like it's my responsibility to help people feel better, but I don't think it's all about me and mine. Once I'm seeing someone sad...I feel like "what can I do to help them " , not ego perspective or prideful. We have high expectations for our selves yes...but it makes us upset when we don't re create what we've seen in our minds. It makes me sad when I cannot help someone Because I do wish others have a better day, I place myself beside the situation, rather than thinking me me me me me . Lol because that's just very selfish...I just love to help others , I am at their service . Lol

Thank you for what you do

Thank you for sharing ❤️ I was able to learn more about myself because of this video!

Could a 2, or any number I guess, be so stressed out or insecure they look and act like COMPLETELY like an 8? Every time I do something wrong, or something perceived as wrong, angry, angry words and accusations come out of her. Often totally overblown and followed to the worst possible doomsday scenario. Completely unable to resolve arguments, unless I ask her why she feels that way, get to the bottom of her fear, and don’t even think to defend myself or bring up what she’s doing is really pretty hurtful and not okay. Never experienced anything quite like this before.

I’m SO going to read the Disease to Please! Thank you so much!

Oh my goodness, so painful. If someone doesn't act like they like me, its so painful. Makes me feel pathetic. Lol!

2w1 seem more receptive than 2w3. Would be very interested in a 2w3 video. Thanks for what you do.

Tom.. are u sure u are a 7? U are much too thoughtful and caring of others to be a 7. Great analysis of the 2.

Ok so I’m a 9w1 (which you helped me figure out in a coaching session, Dr. Tom), but there is a lot that I am relating to here… so much so that I am questioning if I could be a 2. Especially when you said that a 9 probably wouldn’t care that someone else is not responding to you in the way you want. That kind of thing bothers me A LOT. And when someone says something to me and their tone is off, my first thought is, oh no, what did I do to them? Are they mad at me? (Which, I’ve been realizing, is really ego-centric bc 99% of the time I find out it had nothing to do with me). But maybe unlike a 2, I will almost always take the blame myself (which is the self-effacing factor of the 9). I just spend so much time worrying about people liking me, and it can sometimes get me all bent out of shape, and it’s literally my imagination running amuck. Is this valid 9 stuff? Should I be questioning if maybe I’m a 2?

It was a pretty perfect Christmas Day here in snowy mountains of British Columbia. (3 feet this week and there’ll be another one foot of record breaking snowfall again tonight). And now onto other things than the weather report, spot on commentary about type 2. (Ouch sting, I’m even proud about wanting to be proud.) My mom joked that we weren’t going to celebrate me for my 12th bday. Also ouch. Ironic story. I try to be loved by being very loving. Oh yes. (I won’t tell you what I do😂).

I'm crying. Thanks.

All of this makes a lot of sense and some of it even touched me deeply. But I have a question... The person that I was "loving" was hurting me emotionally for a long time, to the point of gaslighting me. We would argue at least a few times every week, our fights got so bad and lasted so long that I didn't just withdraw from them, I realized I didn't like them very much. I see small signs of them trying to be better but after everything that happened, I kinda feel afraid of being as close to them as before. Obviously there is a part of me that still cares about them hence why I haven't blocked them out completely. Am I wrong for feeling this way? At what point is it actually dangerous to truly love someone, and am I wrong to withdraw from this person if they've caused me so much mental and emotional stress/damage? I am a Christian so if anyone responds who is a believer, please don't be afraid to preach if you need to.

😆 My husband is a 7 and I'm a 2. So true!

4w5 SP/SX here. Question for 2’s: Do any of you relate to Audrey Hepburn? I am a huge fan and I’ve occasionally speculated that she might have been a 2.

About the Christmas example : could it be that your wife was upset because your perfect Christmas did not include her? As in, she felt excluded and not important for you. 🤔 Shot in the dark but....

Thanks

This made my chest hurt I don’t like it lol

you sound very annoyed when you talk about 2s