LMFAO! The whole 9s can power through anything, so long as they have a set course, is true. I finally woke up and realized my job sucked. When I told my spouse I wanted to start a business, it failed. Something I started doing, and every 9 needs to do this...PLANNERS! I thought they were stupid, but when I make a list and have my spouse stamp that I accomplished something, best feeling ever. It sounds ridiculous, but it's the structure and being accountable that I find motivates me the most.
9w1: This is something i need to hear. We’re looking to take on a big responsibility to help someone in need, but it’s good to know I don’t have to take on all of the details. They have to be responsible for their own success.
The part about following a course, completing assignments according to a set schedule etc is very on spot. Not only has that been something that has proved successful in my life, but the opposite has turned in to big failures. For example projects at work where there are no clear deadlines, not a clear project overview with set responsibilities etc has turned in to that my contribution has been substantially worse than it could have been.
You are so right on, it is not easy to be a 9. I just found the enneagram in the past few months, it answers so many questions from my life. Recently bought books and have been listening to your lectures and some others as well. Richard Rohr was my first acquaintance with this. Looking forward to more information, I have studied astrology and am hoping to compare and contrast these two disciplines. Thank you for your diligent teaching. It has meant so much to my life!
"When you don't have good relational boundaries, you're probably going to make geographical boundaries". This is so true. These words made me realise I have to become a camper-embassy. Previously I seen it as if I could only be either a strongly guarded, distanced country like North Korea or be among others but as a vulnerable tourist in a dangerous unknown country. Being a camper-embassy I can be flexible, "out there" and at the same time have the right to tell others to stay out of my property :)
9w1 here. I definitely struggle with my own agenda. I don’t know what it is and as far as I know, I have nothing burning in my heart that I want to go after. How do people know what they want with such clarity and certainty?
I struggle with this as well. Especially when it comes to bigger life choices that can take up a lot of time, money and energy. The fear of making the wrong decision or potentially realizing much later on that I was going down the wrong path can be overwhelming.
So spot on for this 9. I tried to start my own business and it's gone nowhere. I've always described myself as a "multiple choice/true or false type, don't give me essay questions".
My best friend (5w6) recently outsourced part of a creative project to me (9w1), and it's something that I can hyperfixate on super easily but also abruptly burn out my motivation on less important parts of it if I'm not careful. He knows this about me, which is why he a) asks me for help, and b) tries to reign in my ambition. I appreciate both immensely.
Excellent. My first thoughts were all about my son (also a 9) and my granddaughter (another 9) and how they do that too, and how THEY should listen to this and take your advice...lol.. I forget that I'm also a 9 and need to focus on myself.
I think the main problem for me as a 9 is not only because I'm worried of how much effort I have to give to build my own tracks but also being worried of the train will just keep going endlessly with no destination. As a result, I ended up convincing myself to stay where I am & believed that there's no point in moving an inch. Deep in my heart, I want to move.. I guess I want to move along with people who are okay with their train moving despite them knowing they have no certain destination. A type 9 desire of mine.
As a 9, this is so hard to listen to! But so true… it helps me so much to have a clear goal to work towards. Thankfully, I’ve gotten more clear on what I want and taking steps towards that
I adore your videos, as a 9w8. You are the absolute best, most hard-hitting and comprehensive resource online and offline for enneagrams! I have felt that this video missed my understanding of the type 9, which you have exposed incredibly well f. ex. with helping - in earlier videos talking about "wanting to be in the group, but not with someone specific": Helping might be a function of wanting to belong, or a function of trying to appease and make peace. Also, you might have repeated the phrases "following your own agenda" and "waking up" too much - but maybe you did that for the benefit of the new listeners? As a veteran of your wonderful videos, I have been craving for the next step, for something deeper. I care a lot about your awesome ideas, videos and the guidance you give us. Your insight is unparalleled. Thank you very kindly - even if this one didn't spark recollection in me, I love to delve into more understanding with the other videos. Also, the concept of merging is highly intriguing to me as someone intensely beholden to family and parents, without seeing the negative side - maybe 'waking up' would be more beneficial?
Y'know what? I finished watching this video and you did hit a nerve with the train tracks. I have a two-way job, with and without tracks. I'm a steam engine in the part that has tracks, and completely flounder in the one without. I wonder how I can bring workable structure in an academic job without deadlines ... Thank you very kindly. All of your content has a gem hidden inside somewhere!
This might be why I was at my most productive in university and grad school. I had a big goal (graduate), but all the smaller parts of it were totally laid out for me and I just had to follow the program. Take X, Y, Z courses, do A, B, C assignments, etc. I was EXCEPTIONALLY good at following the program, and graduated with high honours. And then as soon as I got into the "real world" and my choice of career (junior college professor) didn't wind up working out, I had no idea what to do with my life. And, to an extent, I still don't, even 15 years later.
Same. I breezed through the Honors College at my university and also graduated with high honor. 17 years later, I'm still floundering and trying to find direction. I'm so frustrated with myself.
Hi Tom, can I ask you about one thing on the topic of meeting with work teams? In my country there was an article about how an "unscientific" method was sold to companies and forced on the employees. The method was the enneagram. I would think that personal growth has to be motivated by the person, not forced, and that this kind of mandatory exposure to these models may harm the trust in them. I hope my English is good enough to express this. How should the enneagram be/not be used in a professional setting? What do you think about those who experience this as intimidating/too personal? In a world where harsh labour can be named "fulfillment", how do spiritual practices differentiate from the corporate wishes to have easygoing workers?
Nines in many instances just want to be & not be obliged to participate in the worlds game of competitiveness & just running from one place to another in the rat race.
9w1: Thank you so much for this video!! Hits home…thanks for weaving in the spouse element. I wonder if you have any specific recommendations for 9’s who are busy Mom’s with young kids and just feel so selfish trying to find time for personal development (other than listening to RU-vid videos when I can!).
Another 9W1 here with a fair bit of personal development. Remember that you are the center of your world. Everything you interact with "goes through you". Its not selfish, but is actually selfless to take time for yourself. When you take time for yourself and become the best you can be then you are able to give best to your kids. Instead of denying your kids that gift under the guise of taking time for yourself as "selfish" realize that you are only empowering them and yourself by taking time for yourself. Your kids learn what you do, not what you say you do Teach them through experience that they are worthy of taking time for themselves.
