@@John-hi4spI thought so too at first but then I remembered that I know a lot of quick wit southerners who are able to think of shit like that to say with little prep at all lol
It isn’t even just the law, but the fact everyone around him thinks he should take care of a child that isn’t even his really tics me off. This man was already divorced to this women when that child was born, and all the ex had to due was sign his name on the certificate and suddenly it’s his responsibility.
Story 3: (After the updates) So OP was assaulted, possibly SA'd, and due to that struggled mentally for years but got a semblance of normalcy back recently. Yet her sister and her friend call her a screw up and blast her for her mental health struggles/PTSD consistently both in front of and behind her back? Yeah, OP's sister and her friend are monsters. It's not enough to go low/no contact. OP needs to make it clear to everyone in her life why so that proper boundaries can be established. I'm petty, so I'd honestly be like, "I'm sorry that I was ___'d, and due to that I struggled with my mental health for years, causing me to be a 'the family screw up.' I'm sorry that my mental health is so embarrassing for you and friend to be around. I'm doing my best to get over it so you don't have to be so ashamed of me. I'll be sure to stay very medicated just for you, because this is all about how you feel, sister and friend, after all!" in as sarcastic of a tone as possible every time they pulled some BS about it and I've had enough. Honestly, sounds like OP's sister was jealous of the attention and support OP got after the incident that caused her trauma. So her friend decided that the best way to support sis was to have a stance against people with mental health struggles since, hopefully, that's all the sister told her about the situation. Edit to add: Sis was also 100% trying to trigger OP's PTSD with the neck grab too! OP was smart to focus on not freaking out as Sis was definitely trying to set her up.
PREACH! many commentors thought OP had done something wrong in the past for the sister's friend to react that way, they don't understand that mental health issues can actually be really destructive (idk how to word it) for other people around them, whether or not its intended. as someone who has a lot of mental health issues, i feel like my friends and family has had many situations where they resented me for things i couldn't control. it was never my intention to be a screw-up to the people i love. people don't understand how it really is like until they're in ur shoes. i wish more people could try to have sympathy for people who are clearly struggling.
@@HeoBaby24 People need to know OP isn't being unreasonable when she goes NC. Sis can try to twist the situation to make it seem like just because she and friend gave OP half-a55ed "apologies", that means OP is a bad person for not letting bygones be bygones.
Op handled that well her sister was literally trying to trigger her and she didn’t give her the satisfaction of that and I predict and hope her husband leaves cause she sounds toxic as hell
Yes, the neck grab was ABUSIVE!! Her sister and friend are abusive a-holes and should not be allowed in her life at all, the parents need to step up for real and not just telling them "You need to talk this out" without being there to support OP when her sister is abusing her or they're just as bad! I hipe the sister's husband divorces her, she doesn't deserve someone with a conscience because clearly she doesn't have pne herself.
sorry but sister was absolutely trying to trigger violence in the OP to make a point to the parents in the last story. She invited her over and wouldn't let her leave AND touched her in a way specifically designed to set her off.
Story 3: if your response to someone who's once struggled mentaly being upset with you is "have you being taking your meds?" you are in dare need of some meds yourself.
3rd story: as someone who has depression, ptsd, social anxiety and autism, there's not a day that goes by where i don't feel guilty for potentionally being the one to ruin things for my family and friends. i constantly feel like a burden and that their lives would be easier and less difficult without me in it, so if i ever got a comment like that, man i think i would start sobbing on the spot and actually ruin the wedding
"My parents divorced when i wad 10. Im now 20 because my dad found out she was cheating" damn. If he hadn't found out she was cheating, OP would have never aged.
Story 1: I would love to have OP as my son, I think he would feel right at home with our 2 sons, who have the same sence of humor, and are not scared to work 😊 But really, what a nasty mother and sister!! That OP is her son is mind blowing, glad to see he is not like her!
story 3 the sister and her friend are fucking monsters. they're trying to cause op to have an episode while the friend records it using a known trigger.
Oh, wow, I didn't even realize the "never got off of her phone" could've been her trying to record OP having a bad reaction due to the sister trying to trigger OP But that is so cruel. I hope those two find people they deserve and OP can live a happy life far away from them.
@unconditionallyvalid theres been an Update: Aita for leaving my sister's wedding early after her maid of honor humiliated me in her speech? Hey. This happened a few days ago but It's been a busy week for me and I was a bit hesitant to update. I went to see my parents with my brother. My dad texted me before to to let me know that my sister was coming too. I didn't want to cause any problems between her and my parents by telling them about what she and her best friend did. But when she started the conversation with lies. I told them everything and made it clear that I'm not asking them to take sides and that I will still come to family gatherings but I won't engage with her in any way. My dad couldn't let the fact that she grabbed me by the back of my neck slide. But my mother tried to make it seem like it was out of desperation, to make me accept her apology. What my sister said next did it for my mom. She asked them how is anyone still supposed to remember what exactly triggers me after all these years and that I already gotten over it since I didn't react. And what if I've been faking it all these years. I know I shouldn't have said this and I really regret it now but I told her I wish she go through exactly what I went through. Maybe then she could give me a better example of how I should've handled it all. She told me to get over it and stop begging magazines to post about what happened at the wedding and left. My dad told me later that her best friend's younger sister read about it in 'People' magazine. it was posted on their Instagram. And (get over it?) she's the only one who still brings up what happened. My mother now understands why I decided to go no contact. My dad and brother are 100% supportive of my decision. But I can't stop thinking about what she said. She tried to trigger a reaction out of me and now thinks I've been faking it because I didn't give her one. It's been 11 years. Years of therapy and meds, of course I've gotten better. Not 100% tho since I felt irritated. And if it wasn't for already being labeled 'crazy' I would've shoved her away. I feel like I should've cut contact with her the moment she asked my parents why I didn't stay at the party and wait for my brother to come and pick me up. The reason I left the party was because some of the guys who were invited were much older than I was and they were getting drunk and loud. Two of them followed me. First thing my sister told my parents was and still believe that I left with them because I was naive and just scared/ashamed to admit it. Even after both of them confessed everything. But I was young I guess and cutting contact with her wasn't something I could do. I also want to mention how supportive my partner has been through all of this. From the day I told him everything. He has been incredibly understanding. Even though I never asked him to and he never told me but I know he still goes through each movie/series before we watch it together to make sure there aren't any scenes that could make me uncomfortable. When I put something on. he finds a way to distract me for a few minutes to check it before we watch. He has never made me feel like a screw up. He makes me feel like I still deserve to be loved. Thank you to each of you for your kind comments and reaching out in private❤️ Edit: There's something else that happened in the last few days but I can't mention it. Since they found out I posted on the internet from 'People' magazine's Instagram. I assume they searched for the original post here on Reddit. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong though. I didn't mention any personal information in my original post or updates.
That 2nd one is very similar (the ptsd reactions) to something i went through and her sister grabbing her neck disgusted me. I found someone who healed that part of me i hope you get that too.
Last story: sister's friend isn't going to be there for her if she gets PPD or PPP when she starts having kids. She'll eother tell her it's not real or she's making it up. Sister will turn to OP then and I hope OP doesn't help her. Direct sister to mom and drop her.
Lol you know I just wish people can just make a subreddit for people to do creative writing like the first story so they stop making shit up and claiming it to be real.
listening to the second story, shows just how important it is to find out what the laws are regarding a marriage contract and especially what happens if that contract is broken, is so important, for the state or province you are in... that is not something to allow yourself to operate in ignorance of.
What's funny in story #1, it sounded like the grandpa would've still left the kids the money IF she hadn't gotten greedy and DEMANDED he not only keep them in the will, but give them MORE than his actual bio grandson. She shot herself in the foot for that one, and her kids.
Yep, that's some level of entitlement! Got to love those "Treat my kids better then your own blood, it's the only way to show you care" who think people are delusional! Heard one story where someone did that! The none-blood kid didn't give them a second thought other then "oh more money" and it was too late to reconcile with their Bio Child! What a pitiful way to go out. But well, people are free to make choices, they just need be prepared for the consequences! Which many seem to take issue with for some god forsaken reasons
What? How does this make sense if the child is not yours and you are not the legal guardian or stepfather you have no responsibility for the kid or any legal right to pay the child support
8:06 “You will not talk to me that way, I’m your mother” You lost that title when you abandoned Op for some sleazy rich man that’ll probably cheat on you when given the chance 😂
He likely already has LOL. She may know, but keep it under wraps because you know "How dare anyone cheat on me!" And OP already stated she has this thing with ONLY acknowledging them as their child "when it suits her!" Height of selfishness
That second story sounds fake. Things he says makes it sound like its in the us and there aren't any states that will force you to care for a kid you A) aren't related to B) dont have a PROVABLE history of providing financially for the kid. ESPECIALLY if they know who the likely biological father is. Even if his name is on the birth certificate, it would at most cause the custody processings to drag out while things were sorted.
Why do people wonder what the other side is when you obviously come to forums where the OP has just come to tell their story, not the other person’s story?
Story 2: I already know it’s gonna be an unpopular opinion but he should take that kid in. He’s already paying support for the child and really is being bitter. The way I can tell he’s being bitter is how he’s framing things “I don’t need to be in the kid’s life”, “my ex is trying to force ME into the child’s life.” I understand the financial responsibility but it’s not all about “I” and “Me”. In my eyes it’s more about having him in the lives of his half-siblings. This kid is supposed to be someone your 2 kids can rely on when they grow up and you’re gone as they are half-siblings. No sense in creating a ton of family memories and excluding him. He’s not your blood but he’s your kids’ blood and if you care about your kids more than yourself you’ll realize this.
@@lindah3803 hey it’s a moral question so at least I can retain my dignity by not calling other people’s moral opinions ‘idiotic’ when there’s no real factual basis to the discussion anyway. saying something is idiotic when said thing has no basis in fact is in fact idiotic.
You’re right, your opinion is unpopular. You should find OP and tell him you’ll step in as a parental figure for the affair child since you care so much.
@@plaguepug2091 So your morality only applies to the kid. Forget the roll OP's brother and ex wife are playing. Forget the torment OP has suffered all of his life at the hand of his brother. Forget the rage and hate OP has for his brother. Yep, OP is the perfect person to raise HIS BROTHERS KID. So this is your Morality. Is this your Dignity. All your morality and dignity does is torment OP endlessly. I believe everyone has a sadistic nature to them. Looks like you might be showing yours in this particular case.
State can make you take custody, but you don't have to keep custody. Keep custody of real kids and put affair baby up for adoption and sign away parental rights. You get your kids and the affair baby can rot in the foster system. Best outcome available.
Yeah my mother and a damn good man ( step dad RIP Dad my father never earned that title ). Moved our family to my grand father's farm at the beginning of my 7th grade year ...and I hated everything about it...the area.. the people ..the lifestyle...I even offered to go live with my father , that's how bad it was ..if not for the man dad was I would not have lasted long ..finally my senior year was a month away and my mother was talking about the one thing she always wanted and cared for the most.. seeing me walk the stage with my aunt and a few others.. I overheard and laughed in her face...told her my 18th birthday was in mid May and graduation was in early June ...they stared at me without comprehension...so I told her...on my 18 th birthday I was gone from this hell hole they could mail her my damn diploma , but i would NOT be there for graduation ...we moved back home just in time to start senior year...no other family members could run the farm so it was sold and I couldn't care any less about it...some people are meant to be farmers and deserve their success with praise ..I was not one of them...yes she got too see me walk the stage
That's hilarious lost the house and paying for an affair baby....but you deserve it for getting married plain and simple...but I would not have anything to do with the affair baby either no over nights , no going on outings , no going on vacations , no coming to holidays or birthdays , and no sane man with a spine would do it either