Let me tell you something.. I met your son while running errands in Sprouts. I was talking to the cashier about different podcasts and the way your son interjected and put me and sis on to you. I could tell that he was so proud! Job well done momma! So happy I have you to listen to now! Thank you 🙏🏾
OMG I thought I had adult ADHD I was so indecisive and insecure and thought I couldn’t trust my own decisions. That was the insecurity instilled in me by my mother. I am relearning to trust myself and my own decisions again. Thank you 😊
As a recently diagnosed ADHD woman I had this same conversation with my counselor today (our first meeting) because she asked me “it seems you operate in extremes have you always been this way?” In my 34 years have I NEVER thought about this?!
23:22 - YES!!! I struggled financially for so long. Currently, my finances are better than ever. I have an excellent credit score for the first time in my adult life and I'm 53 y/o. It took for me to move over 800 miles away to really start trusting myself and I'm so grateful I did because I'm a different person than I was when I left 5 years ago. The PEACE that I have is indescribable. It has taken a lot of work AND it has been worth it.
Coming from a therapist, THIS IS SO ACCURATE!!!!!! Whether it’s being indecisive because it’s a learned behavior, or the mother not allowing autonomy when it comes to decision-making. Also, making certain choices based off of the mother’s approval, and sometimes the mother doesn’t even make the best choices. it is definitely a cycle that has to be broken by creating trust within yourself. This was a great episode!
I’m a 32 white women with a mother that comes from an Irish background but your messages resonate with me and my mother-wound so much! always find myself listening to these and feelings so heard and understand! I hope it’s okay I’m here!
There is a book Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. It is complex. My mother was a great beauty but she wanted to control her world and everyone in it. Yes this site is great.
I'm a 37 year old white woman. I know I can not understand the black woman's perspective, and I respect that. I have to say this podcast is still really helping me with my mother issues.
From birth, I was rejected by my mother and throughout out growing up, some how rejected and abuse sexually and physically, I will say it is by God’s grace I’m standing and going through life thinking all is well when it is not! Those mom wounds are being manifested and greatly affecting my relationships with my girls! My husband and I are 2 broken children in our adulthood sadly.
1:30 Oh my! That is exactly how I felt before I started on my healing journey. As a matter of fact, my mother and former bff told me and my new husband (48 y/o me and my 54 y/o husband) at the time that they didn't think it was a good idea for us to move to FL from the DMV, without knowing any details. 🤦🏽♀ They had all kinds of negative sh*t to say. That was when I committed to doing what my heart was leading me to do instead of listening to them. We packed up and moved without telling them when, because they would've tried to stop me. Mannnnn, it was the BEST DECISION I EVER MADE! That's when I learned to trust myself and God. Ok, let me finish listening....
I just ran across this podcast yesterday!!! To be honest, I think it was the Lords doing!!! The information is so insightful!!!! Thank you for being so transparent!!!
Omg. You are truly amazing. Self love has taught me this. It took sooo long to understand what it meant to reparent myself because i knew how to look functional, but i didn't trust myself.. pheww the shame I'd feel if i didn't even do a small thing right... Thank you for voicing this side of our struggle....one step at a time. I trust myself and trust the time given to me, coz my procrastination was also a result of me not trusting myself....🙏🏾
21:54 this. 35 years old and only last week I fully acknowledged my perspective of people is so low that everyone needs saving because I felt like I needed saving no matter how well I was doing
I've been binge watching/listening your channel from the moment I came across one of your video's by accident... When I listen to you I feel heard, not alone anymore and you hit the nail on the head every time! You say what I have been feeling but not been able to voice out loud myself
1.5 yrs ago I just told myself I keep my word to myself and started to do things cause I said I would it. It has been a game changer. This is a great podcast. I was thinking about my frustration of being highly parentified as a child and now being infantilized as an adult. I am glad we are talking about it
I thank you for showing up for yourself. You are giving voice to feelings I've had and am having now and didn't know how to process. You're showing me how to truly care for myself from the inside out. I Thank you from the deepest recess of my heart. My inner child is crying with relief is the only way I can think to explain how I feel. When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Thank you thank you thank you. May you be blessed many times over.🙏🕉️🙌💞🖖
It’s like you have lived my entire life. When you spoke about making mistakes my whole body fired up. I haven’t done anything for fear of mistakes and i want to do so much
It’s not just black mothers, it is actually also very prevalent in Asian mothers as well, mainly the immigrants. This is bc they were all in survival mode trying to adjust in America and forcing their kids to be achievement based bc good grades meant a good job which meant survival. So if some of the kids were not able to excel in school they were pretty much considered a useless failure. The daughters were forced to look very conservative and not allowed to freely express themselves. I can relate to all these mother wounds you talk about as an East Asian woman. I love your content I know your channel will grow immensely!
Jennifer this podcast is absolutely wonderful, I am so grateful I found your videos! You are really opening the door for so many of us to heal and give ourselves the life we deserve❤️Keep sharing your knowledge and perspective!
21:46 👏🏽👏🏽 YES. When I moved away and started doing the work, I definitely started looking at folks differently. As time went on, they really started showing their true colors. That's when I went even deeper in my healing journey.
The way I hopped off the couch & ran to the yoga class I was planning on skipping when you talked about integrity. I’ve sent this to several of my female cousins because we constantly struggle with these things. The shame around making a mistake!!! This is an amazing podcast
Leaving to get my own home for the first time in a few months. My mother talked me out of a lot of things when I was ready to leave at 18. Said it would be too hard and walked away or shut down the conversation when I would present something exciting I could do for myself. I see it and accept it after many years of shadow work. But I feel the wavering still, especially as I’m preparing to take it all into my hands. This mother wound stuff is the sustainable armor I’ve been needing. Thank you for enlightening us out here who can use the strength and wisdom.
You're welcom doll. It's ok to be scared when doing something new. And its ok to make mistakes and even fail. It doesnt mean youre not prepared. It's just a part of life. Find support in your goals. Do your research...and then JUMP!! You're gonna be just fine. xoxo
Girl I was screaming at my TV screen. I felt so seen while watching this. Thank you. The part about watching your mother make horrible decisions about her own life yet not being snow to say anything! Girl!!
Whheeewww…. I just wanted to share my experience I’ve recently had. While I have been listening to your podcast you have helped me sooooooo much. I reached out to my mom and told her I forgive her. She went left with it I responded, (because she runs from real conversations so she won’t pick up the phone. 😂 Anyway her response was “you’re not going to ruin my day” I’m like you know what, “ breath” I went ahead and said, how I felt and what she’s done etc. I told her I did that for myself not you. I told her everything I’ve wanted and I did that and I’m moving forward. This was absolutely for me. Thank you thank you thank you. Jenn 🙏🏾💜 I really found my space and people. I’m not alone.
Ooh Ms Jennifer. This is the one I’m going to need. I am struggling, and i mean struggling with taking my 1st solo trip. My mother made it a point to let me know i would never have been able to handle 2 children, let alone the one i had. That one stuck, and stung deep.
Really needed this ❤ fighting internalized battles are the worst. Especially now that i have a 2 year old daughter. Here i am at 30 years old next year, and i am just now hearing the truth. Thank you. Its a bitter sweet moment 😢❤
Its strange bcs in the past I was a decision making queen. It wasn’t until more recent years I had felt stuck in my decision making abilities. But this makes so much sense to me and I am taking quick action to get back to my strong feeling of a sense of self as I continue my healing process and growth. 🎉🎉🎉
You just spoke to me like the Aunt I have always desired. Thank you for trusting yourself which in turn has allowed you to share this space with us. Thank you.
I just got over imposter's syndrome and I know my mindset must change. This came up as suggested and I'm SO GLAD I tuned in. A woman is speaking the things about my life I couldn't put into words. My mom did a number on me... but at some point I have to put the adult in me in charge and mother the child instead of functioning from the child's place. New Sub.
Omg I been listening. I’m doing it. I forgive myself when I slip up and get right back to it. Congratulate myself for keeping my word. I’ve just been able to see how beautiful I am each day through routine. Small, simple and life changing.
My mother always wants to know what I'm doing but nothing ever goes right for me, when I do tell her. She gives me no privacy! I've actually heard my mother call me: weak. I can't rely on my extended family because theyre in her clutch. I have no support in no capacity.
I want to thank you truly!! I’ve always told my younger sister and even my mom that she experienced trauma as a little girl, until she faces her truth and be forthtelling how can she be healed? She’s not at all willing to tell nor say a word about her traumas. She’s a little girl stuck in an adult body. It is deep, deep, deep!
@jenniferarnise, I already felt super seen in some of your podcast but hearing your background!! I grew up Pentecostal holiness and now i understand another level of why i am drawn to your podcast!! Thank you so much for sharing that!! 🫂💚
Hey Jennifer, first thank you for having a relatable and honest topic "mother wounds." I just randomly find your videos two weeks ago and honestly I'm glad I find your RU-vid channel. I have mother wounds that didn't hit me til I enter in my 30's in my healing journey 💕 and your subjects & trues are very much helpful for me.
Oh my God! Where have you been?! I'm so grateful to have stumbled on this channel! It feels like you're speaking directly to my situation. I can't wait to watch/listen to the other episodes! You're doing amazing work with this! Thank you! 🩷
This is so true I feel like before I do anything I always find myself running by others first to seek their yes. My mom is deceased so asking her is not happening. But this is so true making decisions is hard for me
Wow I always struggle with making decisions and I always say I’m not smart enough and then I put it on my husband or close friends like please make the decision for me! God tell me what to do bc I don’t make good choices! You’re such a blessing
Wow. This was meant for me to see. It just popped up on my feed and spoke to my soul. Thank you for this. I'm overwhelmed with emotions but got a lot of clarity. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you ❤
😮 Are You Me!?! We lived the same life! The same script of mistrust and the denomination?! My mother literally told me over and over and over again, "Do it right the first time!" 🤯 like how ma'am, I'm new to all of what you're teaching me! 😒 this and a few other statements have caused me to avoid and freeze a whole lot in life 😢 I appreciate you posting this video and sharing how to process this reality and to release it!
You get a lot of info and lessons in your readings and they aren’t drawn out even tho I would watch however long 😊thanks for helping to usher me into this healing ❤
I'm so grateful for you, Jennifer! 💞💞 You are living in purpose with this podcast, Sis! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! You're helping MANY of us, I promise you.
thank you for this. my mother is notorious for not doing what she says she’s going to and i feel like i have to relearn how to keep my word to myself. it my parents have always told me they would do something and never did it.
I just fount your page like a month ago and i absolutely love everything you’ve said has resonated so much ! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us !!
I don't know you or never met you, but I thank God for you. Thank you so much for helping me understand my own feelings and thoughts. I have a ways to go but I believe I've finally started to take care of ME. Again, thank you and stay blessed.
I swear my mother has to be black on the inside because the things you are saying resonate so deeply with me. I am still a child to my mother. She knows best and others are wrong. If I would just listen to her, my life would go well. I'm so sick of it. She and my father watch my children when I work or have an appointment. They help pay for my child's preschool and it's held over my head. My kids have grown attached to them. It feels difficult to navigate.
Thank you for starting your podcast. Every word coming from your mouth is how I think and feel. My mom just died. Now I have to learn how to trust myself because I allowed her to do all the thinking for me to avoid conflict.
What does it mean when you grew up having your mother tell you that she never wants you to ever have to depend on her? I’ve been told this since I was in my single digits as a child.
Hi @jenniferarnise I’d love to take your course but can’t afford until the course begins. When is your next class im totally ready in this transition. I have two daughters and I don’t want to inadvertently continue this generational struggle. Because I know for a fact it started well before I was born as my eldest grandmother I had met (3gen) living simultaneously) had given up custody of my great grandmother her first born . Unknown why and no blame for she had to make decisions that were best for her in her time. With my maternal grandmother(1st born daughter eldest)and my mother (1st born daughter) and myself (1st born & eldest of my siblings)But this set a cycle of unhealed energy and emotions . Unknowing the true definition of how to love a little girl and possibly over glorifying the men in our family. Well understanding that you are a busy woman I pray u can respond !! Thanks in advance!!
Nah, I think I can only can trust myself because of examples of ppl taking advantage of me and betraying me. All my siblings spoke shit about me to each other and I found out. My brother outted me as gay, my sisters tell ppl my business, my mother talks about all her children behind our backs to each other, my granny runs her mouth. Friends wasn’t there for me when things got bad but I am everyone’s Go to person ( I am not exaggerating, anytime I get a call I know it’s help they need). So with all this who can I trust but myself? Dang! I grew up in a toxic family cycle that made me toxic and I attracted toxic ppl. That’s why I’ve been single for 5 years. I wanna heal but my damaged brain and heart wants to stay the same because it’s use to the chemicals that’s familiar. I never had a fighting chance.
