*TIMESTAMPS* Question 1 (2:52) I was wondering, do therapists have to like their patients? ... Question 2 (8:20) Does someone actually ''recover'' completely from trauma or abuse that has occurred resulting in C/PTSD? ... Question 3 (14:50) How can a trauma survivor tell the difference between truly toxic behaviour and just human mistakes? ... Question 4 (22:05) When I'm experiencing the very low lows of my mental health I find myself in an uncontrollable deep dive into mental health educational content ... Question 5 (28:48) Can you explain the differences between dissociation, the freeze response and panic attacks? ... Question 6 (36:33) Can you talk about sexuality and how that can affect someone's mental health? ... Question 7 (46:46) Why do I find it excruciating to feel my therapist's care for me? ... Question 8 (54:26) Is it possible that I have used sex as a form of self harm without even realising? ... Question 9 (1:01:36) Lately my anxiety and eating disorder thoughts have gotten a lot worse. I feel out of control and I'm unable to use the tools ... Question 10 (1:05:19) Is it normal to feel emotions so intensly? ... Question 11 (1:11:05) Do the urges of self harm ever completely go away? ...
Yes yes yes. From my point of view as a gay man almost no one is talking about the reality of gay social norms. It’s common place to trade nudes and engage in sexual activity before exchanging names as gay men. I found this absurd almost 5 years ago when I came out and started trying to meet gay men. I was told this is just how things are and to accept it. That gay men weren’t able to be in long term monogamous relationships. I was basically told by my own community via imagery, lingo, labels, etc that I’m a sexual object and I need to go through sexual pursuits before I can be accepted as myself. Many gay men get lost in this and it’s a endless cycle of disposable sex and an inability to form long-term interpersonal relationships. I feel preyed upon as a gay guy. I see the type of imagery we as a community push towards the mainstream and often hide behind it being “woke” or freeing but it’s not. It’s empty. I can show off my body as much as I want and have as many men as I want in my bed but that will not make me happy. I’ve learned this by paying attention to women’s issues. It baffles me that gay men and the gay community mirror’s the same ideology as sexism towards woman. Treating women as objects and all that and no one puts two and two together. Yet I can talk to my gay friends and they agree with me but if we were to go online about this it’s homophobic or slut shaming. This is how I got lost in self harming through sex.
@@twilit yes. It makes me very uncomfortable and I kinda don't wanna share how many week really went etc./what I've been thinking/feeling cause I don't wanna "weird" her out or bore her which is very contraproductive lol
Having a therapist who has 'good (juuuuuust right🙃) boundaries' helps us feel safer & grow healthier. Therapists with inconsistent boundaries are confusing & scary.
Can't wait for the religious trauma video! Thank you, I need it so much. Religion is very powerful in my country. I was religious until I was 19, now I'm 27 and still recovering from that experience. Having most people around me be religious and talk about it frequently, just makes it harder. And thank you for your support to the LGBTIQ+ community. Misinformation about the community is so widespread, even my last therapist told me I was bisexual because my parents wanted a boy and I was unconsciously trying to please them. She also said, if I worked on my rejection issues I'd maybe stop being bi. No wonder why I stopped seeing her.
yes please make a deeper vid about dissociation vs freezing vs just “spacing out”!! i experience what my therapist thinks is dissociation pretty frequently and thinks it is related to trauma but i just don’t know
Also yes please make a separate video about dissociation vs panic etc! I still don't know if I actually dissociate. When I get incredibly overwhelmed (trauma, bpd etc) I just end up staring into space and it doesn't feel within my control, but I'm not sure if this is dissociation. Also if I get to my maximum level of overwhelmed it's like it peaks and then all of a sudden I feel numb/calm. I'm wondering if this is dissociation also. It doesn't feel uncomfortable though, it feels like relief from the emotional pain
I would love it if you made a video about religious trauma/purity/sexuality etc. I’m not gay but I’m still struggling a great deal with sexuality and religious trauma.
Have you watched the Preacher Boys podcast? He has some videos on that. He looks into how purity culture can sometimes lead to a negative view towards sexuality. He also exposes sexual abuse in the protestant church.
I often do a lot of mental health research. Whether it's reading articles/research papers, watching lectures online or watching RU-vid videos by people like Kati, Dr Les Carter, Dr Romani or Dr Tracey Marks. When I'm struggling with my mental health, I can "research" almost obsessively. I do it as a way to ground me. Reading about my condition can ease my disregulation and remind me that I'm not a lost cause or out of control and that there many avenues for help. So I see it as a good thing for me. However, I always make sure I limit myself to appropriate sources rather than armchair experts with a penchant for ill advised assumptions and theatrics.
Thank you for question 6 Katie. I am 34 and had a mental breakdown after someone made a (harmless) joke about my sexuality. It brought me back to my days at my strict religious family where I received conversion therapy from my minister. I am in a relationship thank god (haha), but it's hard because I keep hating myself for who I am. I'm starting therapy this week. I'm looking forward for your video about this topic. Thank you
Great episode, thank you for these! - I actually find it super helpful to get that affirmation and use the therapeutic relationship as a base for my other relationships. My therapist can be like “We’ve talked about this before, and I do like you and care for you. What makes you doubt it? Was it x/y/z? Do you recognize this in your other relationships? If you’re making the “wrong” assumption in here, is it possible you tend to do it out there as well?” etc. I learn a lot from it 🤷🏼♀️ I don’t personally think I would see a very closed off type of therapist...
I would hate to think my therapist didn't like me , I would withdraw and wouldn't be able to open up.....for me it's really important to have a good connection with my therapist, which I have.
This was a very helpfull episode for me. I learned sooo much about myself this week and it validated a lot of my thoughts and feelings. Also, I now know what to bring up in therapy next week. Thank you so much for speaking so openly about all these topics ♥️
Hi Kati! I recently came across your videos and I'd just like to say I find them so helpful in helping explain my mental health to my loved ones thank you! I had a question for you I am in therapy for my anxiety/dissociation/ trauma and it has been so helpful, but I find myself wanting a deeper connection with my therapist, I look up to her so much and look at her as a mother figure. I haven't told her this, I respect the client/therapist boundaries and understand that this may just be coming from my own mother being absent in my childhood, but I find myself thinking "what if she were here hanging out with me." and I even kind of imagine what it would be like if we did hangout. This is kind of embarrassing and I haven't told anyone about these thoughts because she's basically a stranger that I see once a week for an hour. I hope this makes sense. So my questions are are these thoughts normal? should I talk to my therapist about this? I feel like this would be an awkward conversation and maybe change the way our sessions feel. Again, thank you so much. appreciate what you do for everyone!
Thanks Kati for always providing informative & helpful videos. Number 1 was always something I wonder too. There were a few things that made me laugh. “Listen to OTDM that’s not helpful at all. “ 🤣 The sound you always make when you say “pull the ripcord” always cracks me up. And lastly are those little balls around your wrists on that shirt? Adorable. 😊 Keep up the great videos. 🥰
I understand your answer for qst 3, I also identify these 2 categories of ppl (toxic ppl and human mistakes). But, I see another one : narcissistic ppl focused on themselves and not paying attention to the world around and other ppl living in it. (Like ppl not holding the door because they didn’t even realize that someone could come after them and not looking for it…). And this category makes me so sad cuz I always try to think about others but I feel alone in it and hurt by others…
Question 4 - I totally relate to this. I figured sometimes it is retraumatizing, because thats what I know. Other times it is me researching for myself because this is the way I have been healing when I couldn't get professional help, and knowledge is definitely powerful for me. One thing that can help to replace the obsessive research, that isn't too far off, is write about what you are experiencing kind of like your own research on yourself. This is something Ive personally done, not a tool given to me by a professional. Why are you feeling xyz? What lead up to xyz? What are the facts vs the feelings about xyz? Did it come out of no where? Where do you think it stems from? Could it be superficial (I.e. just hungry and stressed from work), Or do you think you were triggered by something and habing a trauma response? ....etc. This keeps the focus on myself and what im specifically going through, and really helps me work through it all more logically". It also helps a lot so you dont accidentally send a text or say something to someone you'll regret because of your emotional state, lol. Just a suggestion, hope this helps someone!❤
Hello Kati! Thank you for your help to begin with I was wondering if dissociation is just an anxiety disorder or could it be related to dissociative identity? And thank you! Have a great day
ive been getting really bad anxiety out in public and in stores and when i have to make eye contact for long periods of times or have a long conversation with someone. i cant seem to get past this.
Please do a video on religious trauma! I’ve got the combination of rejection from my family for being a lesbian and trying to honor myself knowing that I’m worth caring for and not a complete piece of trash only worthy because someone died for me 2000 years ago. The teachings of purity culture also made my sexual assault trauma worse and it took me years to unlearn blaming myself.
People with the power to change my life frighen me when they care about me. Because they might do something hurtful to me for my own good. A peer who cares can be cut out of my life if they start hurting me with the best intentions, and if someone with power and apathy screws me over I can at least get sympathy for how bad my situation is. But if someone with power inflicts suffering on me for my own good, I'm doubly screwed: no way out, and no sympathy.
Just thought it is important to use this space as you mentioned religion and sexuality; if you are of the muslim faith and on the LGBT+ spectrum, please check out groups known as Hidayah and Imaan. They are primarily based in the UK but you might be comforted to know there are other people like you :)
What is your thought? If I were to do a jerky thing on accident, isn't it up to the person who is bugged by it to address their issue, not for me to "read their mind"...
I see a people pleaser so I'm not going to affirm.... Is a pattern... And speaks to who the therapist is as a person, Not the person they are labeling a people pleaser Maybe the person you labeled a people pleaser lives totally on their own and can take care of every last detail of life and has an amiable and sweet innocent nature..... Therapists are so childish, and they need to be seen as sophisticated
