This is my story through my words. It is unrehearsed, unedited, and raw. There is a part of me who does not want to share such intimate details, some of which don’t put me in a great light, online for anyone to see. I’ve come to enjoy my anonymity and privacy at certain times. But I’m willing to trade that to whatever degree necessary in order to help people heal from their trauma, prevent them from trauma they don’t have to go through, understand toxic coping mechanisms created through trauma are primarily the reasons we act in ways that cause ourselves and others pain, and the ways in which I healed, and am still (it’s a lifelong process) healing.
I realize there will be those, some of which are close friends, who will not like my story nor my views. But this is my reality. These are my beliefs. I can disagree with your actions, beliefs, and methodologies without thinking you’re a bad person. And I certainly don’t believe I know everything. But I am always open to truth in any form. I believe as long as I stay willing and open God will continually empower me and teach me through his spirit and his children. I will not apologize for my story, my beliefs or my standards. But I can understand if you are offended, if you do not like me, or my ideals and I can also understand why you would feel that way. Some have suggested I would have a much greater following and reach a broader audience If I did not focus so much on God. He and his son Jesus Christ are the central part of my life, and the core of my healing. I will certainly share in future episodes many different ways to heal that do not involve religion, but I will never omit the most powerful resource I know, nor will I hide my personal convictions for success or recognition.
I have had a few people watch my story with varied reactions. But one sentiment is pretty common. It may be hard for you to find a wife after all this, or hopefully you stay self-employed because you may have a hard time getting employed. I don’t believe that. Shame is what kills us, keeps us from seeking help, tells us we are not worthy of love and acceptance, to keep quiet, hide who we are, and deceive. Shame says, “I did something wrong, there is something wrong with me. Shame is not of God. I am not ashamed. I am grateful! Shame is Satan’s greatest tool. Satan’s power lies in secrecy. The moment we enlist help from others his power is greatly diminished. If you process and heal From your trauma, I believe the right people and opportunities will come in to your life not despite it but because of it.
I have watched my story numerous times, and have felt extremely inadequate at times, wanted to change things, make things more visually stunning or cinematic, improve sound quality, or be less divisive. But I know this is what God wants, and in the end, the single most powerful tool in my reclamation and advice I can give to anyone else is to submit your will to his. That is what I’ve done. I harness the power of God by keeping the Commandments given through his son Jesus Christ. In exchange He grants me his spirit which teaches me all things which I should do.
I feel a mix of excitement, anxiety, inadequacy and overwhelmed. But I believe the only true failure is never trying, or quitting before giving it your all. I believe in Christ, so come what May!
💙👊
27 авг 2022
