The start of my own autistic journey, unmasking me, discovering how I work and lifting the veil on self diagnosis. Why is is sometimes valid, why it is sometimes not.
I was diagnosed OCD, generalised anxiety and borderline personality in 2009. About 3.5years ago my now 7yr old was diagnosed autistic after knowing he was a very different baby in comparison to my 2 older children who are girls. When he was diagnosed, I started to notice many things he was doing.. that I did aswell but have hidden my whole life except when stressed. Then our now 4 yr old son regressed around 12 months old, he was now non verbal, flapping, spinning, lost his eye contact etc (very different to the things our already diagnosed son was doing but just knew same same) and so we got him on the wait list also, aswell as our 11 yr old daughter, and so him and her were diagnosed the same week funnily enough. And then it hit me.. that I am too. No doubt about it. So I spoke with my daughters paediatrician and she straight out said that research shows a lot of autistic women wrongly diagnosed as borderline personality and that she doesn't think I'm borderline at all and that I should be assessed 🤣 so that kind of confirmed it 🤣 wait times here are 2 years and there's not a single clinical psychologist here that can diagnose it in adults so have to travel to our capital city to get it done. Which made me realise why an autism diagnosis wasn't even possible for me in 2009 instead of the other stuff.. because we don't have any clinical psychs here to do it for females so got slapped with other diagnoses instead. That could be diagnosed in adults 🤦♀️ so now I'm on my path. The first time I'd ever heard of autism was my brother who was diagnosed about 23 years ago. Back then when they believed it was only really seen in boys. Only to find out when our son was diagnosed that it runs in families and being that 3 of my 5 kids are diagnosed, that it's most likely my side it came from and that without a doubt I am too. 🥰
Thank you for such a personal and informative Tank Talks…I’ve struggled to with fitting in all of my life, however I don’t think I’m autistic…but hearing you talk about neurodivergence is very comforting to me…I know I’m not alone…thank you so much Grace
Grace I love the way your explain things and get straight to the point. Some people beat around the bush or try and covers things to make you feel better. I’m probably fit into the Autistic criteria somewhere, like you just never got a professional opinion. This episode is very close to my heart as I am part of a car club called Hi-Tech Characters and we raise money for our local charity called club AUsome. Most of our cars have characters on. I am Minnie Mouse and I do follow all your accounts on my personal and car pages. I also have family members and friends that have autism. Looking forward to your next episode. 💖
I'm 34 years old and I'm a queen at masking since had to my whole life cos noone understood me. But those who know me definitely know haha. I think the reason why it's so different between females and males and masking is because boys are less worried about what others think vs us women. I know my son doesn't care..that or he just doesn't even notice cos he's in his own bubble lol.. but my 10 yr old daughter.. her mental health got so low because of it. And we seeked her diagnosis because she wanted to know why she was so different. She put up with loud noises before diagnosis, because scared of what people would think of her if she wore headphones. Since her diagnosis.. her mental health is the best it's ever been, she's so confident in who she is now and to be herself. And she's proud to say why she's different if people ask her. Before, she would just internalise the lot. To the point now, even going from failing her school work and miserable at school.. to now being top of the class. It's amazing what a diagnosis can do for someone's mental health when they know! 🥰
Happy Tank’versary 😄 there is sooo much I want to say here but to save you from a long ass comment: I think you not only done yourself proud here but also done your community proud. Truly an amazing episode to watch, thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you so much for talking about this. My daughter has it and I was diagnosed last year at 33 as well as ADHD. Like you I never understood myself and I’ve learnt a lot this past year about myself as I decided to go back into education. I was always seen as naughty and dealt so much with mental health all my life, it’s such an important topic that needs to be spoken about.
What people don't understand is that an autism criteria has exactly that, a criteria to meet. However, how that criteria is displayed is so different from one person to another, just like everything else. Google doesn't help that. If you read what "symptoms" google says is required, there would be so many people undiagnosed if that's how they were to present. My 4 yr old presents like what Google says. But my 7 yr old and 11 yr old don't. However they meet the criteria for the autism diagnosis in their own way. And funnily enough, unless you're autistic, you probably wouldn't notice it in my 7 yr old son and 11 yr old daughter. Autistics definitely would notice it though because they have more of an idea of what it looks like, even when it's displayed so differently. We can all read each other like a book.. we just can't read neurotypicals because it's not the same language.
Love this thanks , my daughter is autistic since she was 3 she’s almost 13 she’s nonverbal but this yr more words not consistently, but I can have ques were she answer 1 or 2 words like no , but she can’t function on her own , so I will always take care of her & that scares me if in the future if something happens to what will happen to her, it’s been a long isolated road, I always think what happened to her to get this , I tested with mouth swab but said I didn’t give this to her , but I always wondered since she was diagnosed cus since I was little & I still am shy, don’t like looking at people in the eyes, I prefer to be alone & not around people, I never have fit in, it’s hard for me to talk to people, maybe it’s I’m just introvert & that’s it. I really don’t know how I got with my hubby cus how I am😂, but it’s very lonely being like this, I’m 48, I do the best I can for my daughter,I also have a 17 yr old son he’s not autistic but had adhd since he was 5 n now grew out of it, he’s a teenager so that’s another issue how he treats me😢
Thank you for being so vulnerable and talking about this! I’ve struggled my whole life feeling like I don’t fit in and not understanding why I felt so different to everyone else. I never considered autism until a year ago, but after researching it, it felt like for the first time in my life people were putting into words how I’ve always felt but didn’t know how to express it. I am going to see if I can get assessed to see if I do possibly have autism or not, but I just wanted to say thank you for putting yourself out there and speaking on this topic ❤️
Hahahaha that sounds like me so much. Me and hubby been together for 10 years and whenever he hugs me... I'm stiff as.. like he puts my arms around him and I'm like oh you wanted a hug 🤣🤣🤣🤦♀️🤦♀️🤣🤣🤣 but he's so used to it. It definitely makes sex life interesting.. 🤣 not to mention the no filter at the wrong time.. 🤣🤣🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Psychiatry UK Right to choose I used for a diagnosis they claim from the NHS and got diagnosed with ADHD in 3 months 3yrs ago now waiting for an Autism diagnosis. I'm 37 and the wait in Kent is 3yrs for children and adults. It's £2500 round here for a private diagnosis for the children and I have 3 🙈. Am in my first gay relationship and have really struggled with omen's emotions compared to my relationships would love to speak to you more about how you've managed x
