Everything Wrong With The Dark Tower In 17 Minutes Or Less

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Despite casting two compelling lead actors, The Dark Tower movie still manages to totally underwhelm. Sins abound.
Next week: Crappy animated sins & crappy animated sins... both recent.
Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie's sins should we expose next?!
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15 ноя 2017

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Комментарии : 4,1 тыс.

@timothysatyr6674 5 лет назад

Lord of the Rings: 3 Books into Three movies. Hobbit one book into 3 movies. Dark Tower: "Hold my Beer"

@nickietee4170 5 лет назад

My favorite comment. Seriously... I did actually kinda love what they MANAGED to do with TLOTR (extended), but the Hobbit 3 movie thing drove me nuts! Tried to make it all dark...again not respecting the source material. They failed to note that LOTR was written years later to appeal to the same generation that had originally read the Hobbit. It aged with them. Wasn't all extra dark and full of Legolas!

@thepickygamer4450 4 года назад

Foreign films are still good. I recommend Operation Cromite, and pretty much any Korean film/TV show. And A Flying Jatt, cheesy but pretty good.

@Lucas-zy9zn 4 года назад

lol

@ppvk2610 3 года назад

Exactly Like LOTR starting in the Shire, straight to the Argonath (without Pippin, Merin, Boromir, perhaps even only Frodo and Aragorn) thus skipping Rivendell, the Mines of Moria... on to Minas Tirith etc.. Damn... no three doors... , no Jake No Baine.. wtf... It was like at school... where you have to read books...., then you don't read it, you just search the book excerpts on the internet. Read it a few times the day before your test, then tell your teacher what you have managed to remember. That's how they wrote the script for The Dark Tower

@drsmithlpn92 2 года назад

@@thepickygamer4450 Korean film: Train To Busan. I thought done really well. Definitely a Hollywood level effort.

@braveintofuture 6 лет назад

Howto make a novel adaptation movie: -Get all the books. -Leaf through the books to get the names of some characters and locations. -Ignore the books. This is now your story! -Make up a story you like and include the characters and locations. -Add some references to movies you enjoyed which have nothing to do with the novels just because it's cool. -Find some actors to play the characters. The books are not general knowledge? Then use some well known actors so the general audience can get connected to the movie. -Now hire the original author to be included in production to please the fans. -Don't let him screw up your story. Remember: This is your story!

@SomeBody-mc1km 6 лет назад

3Hification Steven Spielberg saw this comment and made Ready Player One

@cartoonnetworkdisneyxdsupe6864 6 лет назад

Super Critic Difference is, Ready Player One was actually good.

@arvinroidoatienza7082 6 лет назад

Exactly what they did to Percy Jackson

@sparkledog9066 6 лет назад

I think they only added It references to get people's attention. Other than that, they could've at least hinted the similarities between It's speculated offspring, Dandelo.

@lunatic8267 5 лет назад

I'm so glad I saw this!! I haven't seen the movie but watching this I'm sitting here going "Where the fuck did that happen in the book?!!" Lol

@pinealdreams1064 6 лет назад

I waited years for this.... It was truly depressing.

@4inaftermath454 5 лет назад

I would have throw a mold cast of my penis at the theater screen

@addisonblck102 4 года назад

This movie effectively killed my love um for The cinema. It was absolutely terrible :(

@razerhead9489 4 года назад

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews Yeah Hollywood killed it quite literally, and then again with the passage adaptation from justin cronin.

@haydenhazelrig4550 3 года назад

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews yeah him being white was a huge point in the second book

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 года назад

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews the gunslinger's skin colour is never relevant nor is it ever really referred to specifically. Walter is specifically described as being pale though.

@AndiNordsee 4 года назад

Wait, this is actually a movie about the dark tower books from Stephen King? I thought it was only a coincidence it has the same title and character names. You know, since it´s got nothing in common with the books?

@helterincendo3441 3 года назад

That is a beautiful illustration of the failure of this movie.

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 года назад

The film was originally made to be a followup / sequel to the book series. All the early promo material showed the Horn of Eld in Roland's possession. Even one of the posters showed the horn lying in the dirt. For some reason they cut the horn references out, and now everyone thinks this film is an adaptation of the books when it is absolutely NOT.

@mrdean2539 3 года назад

@@Molotov_Milkshake Even if that were true, the idea behind the small difference from the last book from the first would not cause such a HUGE deviation from the original track. It was more about the Gunslinger becoming a better person and making better decisions during the journey. The journey itself would only change minimally over each successive run through.

@jamesb7205 3 года назад

It fairly similar to one of the books. That's the only one I've read. I'm guessing they made they book to sort of be a tie in with the movie and summarise and shorten the story

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 года назад

@@jamesb7205 which book was that? It doesn't resemble any of the ones I read, and I read the whole series.

@Moolers 6 лет назад

The Dark Tower should have gotten the same treatment as Game of Thrones. You can't make a 90 minute movie out of an epic and complicated series spanning thousands of pages.

@espalorp3286 6 лет назад

I was literally just thinking that as I was scrolling over this comment, but we can't have nice things sometimes

@joshuahoover6841 6 лет назад

It needed to be animated

@cpt.shmitt7387 6 лет назад

Like the Tripods series.

@carolinefloyd3298 6 лет назад

If it makes you feel better, I heard it is becoming a tv series, unless it's been cancelled

@cpt.shmitt7387 6 лет назад

Caroline Floyd Just being funny. It wasn't bad, but not exactly the War and Peace of literature.

@Waltham1892 6 лет назад

He who does not sin The Dark Tower has forgotten his father's face.

@BlackGoldSaya 6 лет назад

Thankee sai

@splatttt 6 лет назад

Waltham1892 It is so. Long days and pleasant nights to you, gunslinger.

@Chaos89P 6 лет назад

I think the director has.

@0Fate8Bound0 6 лет назад

More like, 'I do not sin with my heart; He who sins with his heart has forgotten the face of his father. I sin with my head' *Sins overrated movie*

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 лет назад

*"Forgotten the face of his father".

@ryantafoya487 6 лет назад

In this movie: RIP Susannah Dean of New York RIP Eddie Dean of New York RIP Oy of Mid-World RIP Donald Callahan So many characters thrown out the window...

@FamilySavard 4 года назад

Such a disapointemment

@yig_501 4 года назад

Poor oy little babes lol

@Thunder117 4 года назад

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews well to be fair eddie is in his early 20's and as much as i would like aaron being eddie it just wouldnt have fit it very well tbh

@BerNa650 4 года назад

Honestly, good for them. They didn't have their awesome identities tainted by this god forsaken excuse of a movie. Truly disappointing it went this way, though.

@razerhead9489 4 года назад

Yeah, they took a more or less character driven story and made a Hollywood action trash something out of it.

@Mcf4742 6 лет назад

This series would’ve fit more as an HBO series, Westworld mixed with Game of Thrones or something

@shelbyhill7873 6 лет назад

I just want one psychic kid who is really shitty at drawing

@WTDProductions 6 лет назад

hahaha i’m imagining a bunch of stick figures plastered on the walls goddamn that would be hilarious

@jareththegoblinking3191 6 лет назад

Well if we've never seen any other psychic kids in movies draw then that means they could be bad

@empressliz9023 6 лет назад

The movie Push has one of those. Not “can only make stick figures” bad but not “Leonardo Da Vinci” good either. It was kinda funny.

@ingloriousMachina 6 лет назад

I want a movie where they don't insert a fucking kid just because...

@MrMikeauto0722 6 лет назад

Will Byers from "Stranger Things" drawing that map was pretty awful.

@gobluth8351 6 лет назад

1:26 wait a sec. That bully is Henry Bowers from IT. What are the chances he is playing 2 bullies from 2 King adaptations.

@Whos4533 6 лет назад

Gobluth I noticed that too

@cannypal 6 лет назад

Multiverse!

@TheTwilightShadow69 6 лет назад

I know nothing about Stephen King's work so I was very surprised to hear that most of his books are related in some weird multiverse thing. I found out when someone tried explaining who/what IT is, and I'm flabbergasted that SOMEHOW The Dark Tower has ANY correlation to It whatsoever. They're like two completely different worlds... Pun unintended. That being said... I recognized the actor, but didn't connect the dots they're both of King's movies. Pretty interesting, surprised they would allow that to happen. Let the conspiracy theories begin!!

@maxrealname 6 лет назад

Thing is, its not conspiracy, King has been clear for years all of his books take place in the same conjoined universe, and for the most part the Dark Tower is what binds them, thats why many of his stories take place in Maine, and have psychic children, Maine is a soft spot for dark/demonic energies, and the psychic power is the Shine, which children are better at utilizing. IT is supposedly the Great Spider who was opposite Maturin, the Turtle who holds up the world, Maturin also aids the losers club in defeating IT in the book, characters in the Shining stem from other books, Carry and the Firestarter have the Shine in its more telekinetic/pyrokinetic forms, etc. Its fascinating if you're a fan of Kings work.

@koji6745 6 лет назад

Doe JrPuck woah

@publiccomment2053 5 лет назад

The Dark Tower series is one of my all-time favorites. I was soooooo excited to hear about this movie in production, but confused how they might do it justice considering the length of the story. At first, I held out hope because I saw Peter Jackson create a movie experience for Tolkien's tome with such reverence. Then Dark Tower came out and what a friggin disappointment it is. I'm guessing King must have needed money to even allow this piece of crap be compared to his early masterpiece. Jeez - the whole movie is a sin.

@razerhead9489 4 года назад

That's what I thought too, same with Justin Cronin's The Passage. In both projects, they just did what they wanted and ignored the source material.

@brianwestfall8140 3 года назад

Fun fact, King has sold the rights to Dark Tower multiple times each time for $1. And yes this movie was wrong on many levels.

@stevenmacaulay8807 2 года назад

I gave up on being hopeful for a book series being adapted well after interview with a vampire and the queen of the damned had their shot...

@tonythekillab8189 2 года назад

@@brianwestfall8140 The fact that this man sold what he considers to be his magnum opus like a cheap whore shows what kind of person is. Sai King has clearly forgotten the face of his father. On an unrelated note, he has the check the director of The Shawshank Redemption wrote him for the rights to the story framed on his wall because he's made so much more money from the royalties on the movie than the check is worth.

@JerroGangBang 2 года назад

@@stevenmacaulay8807 Lord of the rings

@jakob716 6 лет назад

If I was making The Dark Tower movie, I would adapt The Gunslinger, would start with showing how The Man in Black runs across the desert and then Roland following him, being exhausted with time, but no, why do that, you can just hire someone to speak it...

@boydskywalker 5 лет назад

I think that's the thing that gets me most about this movie - The Gunslinger, AS IS, would make an incredible Western movie, with lots of hints at what's to come without spewing exposition for 95 minutes. Instead we got this. Like, they wanted this to be a series, right? And yet, somehow, they managed to shove in isolated scenes and plots from 7 books and resolve them all in a way that leaves little reason for a sequel. They could've had a 7+ movie series on their hands, with the tiniest bit of forethought...

@mattwolfe9365 4 года назад

Yes, also I would change how this is jakes story while the whole book is about the gunslinger

@matthewg666 4 года назад

Myself, I was thinking I'd start it out with Roland coming into the town of Tull. In the book, it's a bit of a flashback story that occurs not long before the start of the book. It'd make a good jumping off point to use as some exposition establishing who Roland is and the fact that he's after the man in black.

@aileenocasio9125 6 лет назад

I thought that I made a mistake reading the book before watching the movie...now I see Hollywood made the mistake of making the movie without reading the books.

@angelrivera-cw9be 5 лет назад

Books!

@MizantropMan 5 лет назад

I didn't even know the book series exists before this movie came to Netflix, but it made the whole thing look like another mediocre fantasy-with-guns brick by a young adult. So, in short, it's bad advertisement.

@PotawatomiThunderNew 4 года назад

MizantropMan so are you saying you watched this on Netflix, then realized it’s a book series, then you read the series?

@thepickygamer4450 4 года назад

I didn't know about the book series, I'm not much for reading. One chapter in and I'm already understanding the pain of those in this comment section.

@leeman27534 3 года назад

tbh so much is used from books that are largely ignored in hollywood, it's ridiculous. to a degree, i get why it happens - movies need to be rather to the point as you can meander on when it's a book, just have it be a thousand pages. but it's fucking blatant, how much they cut out because 'fuck it, this is my project'.

@Nidhoggrr 6 лет назад

This movie was one of the biggest "FUCK YOU"s to a fan base I have seen come to theaters since the movie Eragon (remember that shit show cause I still do). Not only did they not read the books, but they barely skimmed a Wikipedia page about this series and then said "eh fuck it lets make shit up as we go".

@Elkanderowicz 6 лет назад

The only way to do it right is with 7-season, 13 one-hour episodes each epic series. There is no way to cram all the awesomeness of that story into a movie, since top attention span of nowadays cinema goers doesn't exceed 90 minutes.

@TheGoldenDunsparce 6 лет назад

I think the biggest FUCK YOU to its fans is Dragon Ball Evolution...

@leebawls 6 лет назад

Women and children aren't the only things being molested in Hollywood

@Sheepnobi 6 лет назад

When I was in the cinema and we were forced to watch this movie we were the only people watching this movie

@raizumichin 6 лет назад

Difference between this and Eragon is that The Dark Tower was good to begin with. Adapting a crap book usually leads to a crap film.

@AquariumPebbles 5 лет назад

This movie sucked. In the book, everyone had a purpose and everything was well thought out, meanwhile in order to boost time, the movie had three different shots of roland sitting down on a log.

@thepickygamer4450 4 года назад

Those were my favorite parts!

@doomstadt2371 5 лет назад

It should have been a TV show from the start. Not a rushed, horseshit movie.

@BostonMBrand 3 года назад

The worst part is that this movie’s box office bombing will probably screw the series for the next few years. I mean it’s pretty much the reason why Amazon ditched the pretty decent looking tv adaptation.

@drsmithlpn92 2 года назад

HBO should produce The Dark Tower into a series. There’s enough material for at least a decade or two.

@dechain1927 8 месяцев назад

@@BostonMBrand in case you havent heard, mike flanagan has confirmed a dark tower series thats supposedly set to be faithful to the books. probably still in preproduction, so a long way off before it could ever be released but theres hope!

@JustCallMeKopi 6 лет назад

"Yes, let the hate flow through you" Just imagining Matthew McConaughey trying to replicate that voice in that scene with that quote is hilarious

@kilonova3317 6 лет назад

The architect who made the tower must be the same one who made the deathstar lol

@lorken22 6 лет назад

That's what I was going to say! lol already had some Star Wars jokes in there, why not more?

@dawgbone98 6 лет назад

The head architect of the death star is getting really ticked off that you guys are blaming everything on him... ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-agcRwGDKulw.html

@mk6rfc1 6 лет назад

Mads Mikkelsen?

@Paulafan5 6 лет назад

"Nothing can bring down the one thing stopping evil from ruling the galaxy... Except a kid's mind" Is that crap from the books? I assume it's not because it's such a stupid concept. A book series that is so beloved can't hinge on a stupid notion like that... can it?

@magicmulder 4 года назад

8:05 I wish just once a movie would devote time to telling us what the villain plans to do with his overlordship once he has won. Even Lucifer in Supernatural basically twiddled his thumbs after he got control of heaven. Because eventually they all realize it’s pretty boring if there is nothing to fight for anymore.

@JMUDoc 6 лет назад

Shat on a two-decade magnum opus. Doesn't appeal to book fans, doesn't appeal to non-book fans. Well done.

@cmm07r 6 лет назад

Thank you, I'm so glad someone else has a problem with the shot at the end. Not only was it unbelievable that a second shot could catch up to the first, but a ricochet is slower that one that only had to travel through air.

@coralineparmentierpianist 6 лет назад

"I guess that portal was also aware of the movie's runtime" Jeremy is a dick to the plot XD

@KingOfMischiefs 6 лет назад

Plot is a dick to the books!

@drakegonnan6030 6 лет назад

you guys get all that... but you forget. he forgot the cujo referance

@wowza935 6 лет назад

My dick is penetrative to vaginas n the occasional bunghole.

@ClaydogJr 6 лет назад

Coraline Parmentier - Pianist for Peace with a

@nahuelorona5886 6 лет назад

Hey man, you should do a video with Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell no Tales that movie definitely needs sinning

@armandowillem3694 5 лет назад

Fun fact: The nameless kid at the high school who bullied Jake and steals his drawing folder also plays a bully Henry Bowers who terrorized the kids of the Losers Club in another recent Stephen King movie IT chapter 1. Just with a rock band t-shirt, switchblade and a mullet hair cut.

@Budgieboy4068 3 года назад

I noticed that immediately, Nicholas Hamilton. He's a really good actor, Australian in real life.

@caitlinbrewer4843 4 месяца назад

Multiverse

@BuiltByHand 4 года назад

"Go then. There are other worlds than these" I wonder if in an alternate unverse maybe one with Nozz-A-La cola they actually got this movie right and it's not a horrible mess like this one

@EnergyShifting 3 месяца назад

They drive takiro spirits’ there too, I have the shirt 👕

@CaoSong 6 лет назад

Failure of a movie... very depressing cause I wanted a Dark Tower movie for so long.

@smokeykiwi8992 3 года назад

I swear people need to make another dark tower and another shining. WHOS WITH ME!!!!!

@MrYeezy77 6 лет назад

*EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THE DARK TOWER ~~plays the whole movie~~*

@franohmsford7548 6 лет назад

I think this video is longer than the actual movie!

@BreakerInc 6 лет назад

Well.. when it's true..

@airborngaming2250 6 лет назад

Yeezy Yeezy pin this man!

@bloodpressurenotgood 6 лет назад

hahahahahaha

@SaltySalman 6 лет назад

You just jestered to all of me

@JLHunter61 6 лет назад

“I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye. I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind. I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart.” The actual quote, straight from the book.

@shr1mpsush1 3 года назад

When a single quote from the books sounds more epic than the entirety of the movie adaptation.

@kyiesalerno8401 3 года назад

I read all the books, so I know the significance of the quote. BUT: I kill with my heart. *tears out heart and beats Flagg to death with it*

@smokeykiwi8992 3 года назад

@@kyiesalerno8401 Flagg

@kyiesalerno8401 3 года назад

@@smokeykiwi8992 Crap. My phone hates me. Thanks!

@zanemchugh7745 6 лет назад

Gotta agree with all of these sins except the "Keystone" one. That was part of the books and how they distinguished the real earth from any of the other worlds being held together by the Dark Tower.

@MrVlogman101 6 лет назад

Not sinned hard enough

@grandmaster9829 6 лет назад

Daniel Gazizov I'd expected it to have 500.

@llllcod6mw2jjjj 6 лет назад

Watch this--->ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ELEAsGoP-5I.html

@Deathvalley1980 6 лет назад

Yeah i thought the movie deserved more sins

@samuelstensgaard4828 6 лет назад

Hey! I’ve been posting the same thing, people will learn soon enough.

@llllcod6mw2jjjj 6 лет назад

Vader Minion my link?

@andrewwgold 6 лет назад

You forgot "Idris Elba isn't in a better movie in this scene"

@MickHaggs 6 лет назад

Idris Elba isn't Stringer Bell in this scene *ding*

@titusmccarthy 6 лет назад

Oh my god... how could anyone actually like this dreck. You must have a sub-100 IQ.

@LadyOnikara 3 года назад

Yeah! I was okay with him being Roland, even though I was puzzled how he would interact with Detta Walker. Turns out that I didn't have to worry about that!

@EnergyShifting 3 месяца назад

@@LadyOnikaranah Roland isn’t a basketball America ⛹🏿‍♂️

@pauljustin3532 6 лет назад

Come on man, Randall Flagg needs portals to cross over to other worlds? THIS FILM IS BLASPHEMY!!!!

@anthonydavis311 6 лет назад

I only read the gunslinger once and it was a while ago, but from what I remember, it was NOTHING LIKE THIS MOVIE... it's 100% different

@God-ch8lq 2 года назад

I found it yesterday in my grandmas attic, devoured it in like 5 hours nonstop Damn,one of the best books i have ever read

@LnPPersonified 6 лет назад

I have never seen this movie, and I never will. It's an embarrassing travesty that this movie was made. They have truly forgotten the face of their fathers.

@EcchiBANZAII-desu 6 лет назад

Finally someone who writes it properly. Been seeing too many "You have forgotten your fathers face" instead of "You have forgotten the face of your father"

@Nehal615 6 лет назад

Ecchi-BANZAII!!! Though to be picky, it should be “the faces of their fathers” and not “the face of their fathers,” unless the people who made this film have different fathers who happen to share the same face like some kind of conjoined-face-twin dads.

@iamnovus21 6 лет назад

Or, crazy thought, you watch the movie and form your own opinion...

@ShiningDarknes 6 лет назад

No don't watch it if you have read the books at all. If you have not read the books it is an okay (like 6/10) movie (but you will be confused as it combined the most iconic parts of the 8 books all out of order and it shows)

@ldn0224 6 лет назад

I would suggest to lighten up. The idea is the warrior character and while skeptical I found it did capture the idea. I've read the books many times.Yes not great or perfect but it captures the idea of what a gunslinger from what King thought, at least I think so. Shoot with your mind, kill with your heart. It captured the essence and thats really the point.

@quoth7330 6 лет назад

The greatest waste of an IP ever. So many great stories, now never to be known to non readers. While they can make 9 Star Wars movies that are basically the same, they cant even make handful of movies on an entirely different theme.

@Tysakasa 6 лет назад

Yea so far only Disney's Star Wars is the same crap different people. The original six can all stand on their own.

@kvltslime2261 4 года назад

The movie: ya know we'll leave out Eddie and sussanah since its the first dark tower. The movie: let's cram three books into it anyway

@FamilySavard 4 года назад

This could i've been the tv series of the years ...

@cadillacdeville5828 6 лет назад

You post this on the same day I'm going to see "Justice League"...now all I hear is the DAMN sin counter.

@TheMlerich30 6 лет назад

Why would you willingly watch that inane movie.

@floydharper4653 6 лет назад

I hear the sin counter any time I watch a movie these days

@dadeleemurphy85 6 лет назад

lol oh that's harsh!

@cadillacdeville5828 6 лет назад

Aron The Terminator Rotten Tomatoes gave it 50%

@khirayrichards1786 6 лет назад

DC Comics *Ding*

@jakebryant3445 6 лет назад

Calling it. Next week are Sausage Party and The Emoji Movie

@chrisbrasel9049 6 лет назад

Hope so as man the sin counter is going to blow up after sinning thought like the first act of it.

@previewreview2364 6 лет назад

Jake Bryant Sausage Party wasn't bad at all.

@karentookthekids1032 6 лет назад

Uh...It says next week, crappy animated sins and crappy animated sins, Titus.

@xavierhorn9825 6 лет назад

+Jake Bryant What about Norm of the North?

@jbvader721 6 лет назад

My guesses are "The Emoji Movie", "Cars 3" or "Despicable Me 3". Maybe "Sausage Party" but I doubt it. Either way, the Sin Counter has a chance to break.

@guicaldo7164 6 лет назад

"You killed my mom!" "No... I am your mom."

@CptKrnch 6 лет назад

I finally watched this movie. There are seven 500 to 750 page books in The Dark Tower (roughly). This movie completely ignores EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, excepting one haunted house, and some rat people. This movie invents its own SHIT. Roland's first interaction with Jake should be to befriend him, then drop Jake down a pit in a cave, killing Jake. He gets sick and loses several fingers to mutant lobsters. Then he befriends a drug addict and a legless amputee. There's a succubi, zombies, a angry choochoo train! Vampires, robots with lightsabers, The emerald city and the wizard of Oz, a dickhead robot, so much material! And this movie is essentially; very loosely based on a synopsis written by someone who's never read the series.

@redblue7241 5 лет назад

@@briannafinney9074 Finally a logical argument hahaha

@lifewuzonceezr 5 лет назад

I Just watched it so I could watch this, lol!

@bosstrading928 5 лет назад

@Aric Thompson mine too, at first when I heard about the movie I was soooo excited, then heard about the cast and was like what????? I refuse to watch it.

@yvaliquette 5 лет назад

Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum?

@thepickygamer4450 4 года назад

I would be happy with just a movie about a succubi, shit, I could get behind it even being an anime.

@JulianFernandez 6 лет назад

Everything Wrong With The Dark Tower. Everything. Done.

@gregoryeverson741 6 лет назад

i read the books, this a book its so hard to make into a movie

@Vincent_Beers 6 лет назад

The book was bad, the movie was worse (and barely even related to the book)

@warreng675 6 лет назад

From start to finish

@alexandresobreiramartins9461 6 лет назад

But they should at least have TRIED.

@alexandresobreiramartins9461 6 лет назад

My problem with DT movie is not that it's not faithful to the book or books. It's that it's a bad bad bad movie, full of cliches and stupid plot devices. Even Idris Elba and Matthew MccoNaughey felt like they were either drunk, on drugs or sleeping during the whole movie.

@Ozolz 6 лет назад

Everything IS wrong with The Dark Tower

@bintavi7034 6 лет назад

3:50 I just gotta say I appreciate the To Kill A Mockingbird nod.

@KirkWilson86 4 года назад

"Who throws a shoe, honestly?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@ChiValryWu92 6 лет назад

Divergent Maze Potter Hahahahah

@satanicjerome4015 6 лет назад

I loved these books and am so fucking pissed off that this bullshit ended up in the theatre instead of a competent actual gunslinger adaptation.

@nighton3 6 лет назад

It's Percy Jackson all over agian

@buddhamack1491 6 лет назад

No one could ever make a film good enough to encompass the awesomness of the books. Such is the beauty of books and imagination. I'm yet to see a film that is as good as any book I have read.

@YerBoiDanul 6 лет назад

LOTR is maybe the closest candidate. Peter Jackson did a remarkable job, and the all-star cast, paired with the unbelievable scenery, just makes it all feel so alive and real.

@ulogy 6 лет назад

Elba could've been a great Roland if they'd broken this up into a trilogy or the sort. Also doesn't help they just totally neglected the foundation of the ka-tet...

@MrRjh63 6 лет назад

Tbh even a mini series couldn't do the books justice. Maybe a Netflix style series could but given the track record of the televised mini series i wouldn't hold out hope for that either.

@Coco-vv8nf 6 лет назад

its like they didnt even try follow the books

@206beastman 5 лет назад

Lol now u know how the dbz movie felt!!!

@SoftwareNugget 4 года назад

Who cares?

@miguelortiz3836 4 года назад

@@SoftwareNugget The target audience it was made for? The Dark Tower wasn't really that mainstream to be widely known and attract normal movie goers so the main target audience were the fans of King's books which got disappointed because it is so different. So yeah, they care.

@Me-jx1mo 4 года назад

@@206beastman well sucks to be someone who likes both Edit: franchises, not the god awful movies

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 года назад

Probably worth noting it wasn't meant to be an adaptation. It was originally meant to be a follow-up to the ending of the series, where Roland has the Horn of Eld. They showed the horn quite a lot in the promo material early on. They later dropped it, I assume because they thought it would alienate those who aren't familiar with the books. Instead it alienated everyone familiar with the books and created the impression that this was now an adaptation rather than a follow-up/conclusion.

@simmyjester 6 лет назад

"but it's a movie so I should really just relax" Is that a paraphrased MST3K reference?

@SuperAtheist 6 лет назад

If his shine is pure, his midichlorian level must be off the chart divergent. .

@garypacitti4053 6 лет назад

SuperAtheist

@SatyamKnight 6 лет назад

*_No movie is without Sin_* 👍

@Warden_Vtel 6 лет назад

Satyam King (ding)

@Warden_Vtel 6 лет назад

Chase Bundy Autocorrect. (Ding)

@friendlyelites 6 лет назад

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)

@llllcod6mw2jjjj 6 лет назад

Watch this--->ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ELEAsGoP-5I.html

@lucasrosencrantz8864 6 лет назад

CinemaSins no thx

@Daiska_Plays 4 года назад

The very top of the "what could have been" category for movies. The top. It actually made me sad.

@shilodance1st 6 лет назад

What a total travesty of King's magnus opus. I'd rather read the entire seven book series again than watch this sack of crap movie.

@coralineparmentierpianist 6 лет назад

"Not to be confused with Middle Earth, or Midgard" I'm sorry I can't XD

@kingketamine8960 6 лет назад

Why do you end all of your comments with "XD" XD

@coralineparmentierpianist 6 лет назад

Mellow Memestar I have no idea XD

@TamptheChamp2 5 лет назад

Or the Dark World

@TheGoodwolfe 6 лет назад

Sorry, it's not possible to go over everything wrong with "The Dark Tower" in 17 min.!

@Namster05 6 лет назад

I'm sorry, there's a typo in the title. It should say "Everything is wrong with Dark Tower"

@lepj3880 6 лет назад

*with the movie named Dark Tower

@elsahoche1536 5 лет назад

I loved this movie so I guess everything is wrong with the advertising around it.

@LadyOnikara 3 года назад

I have to admit Idris Elba is cute and the guy who played Walter is cool. Other than that, ick.

@smokeykiwi8992 3 года назад

@@elsahoche1536 you probably haven’t read the books..

@smokeykiwi8992 3 года назад

@Rowan Nowicki you probably haven’t read the books.

@pinkypurple2168 6 лет назад

"The next Divergent Maze Potter " dead XD

@georgevalley1319 6 лет назад

1:24 The Shining? The Green Mile? The Shawshank Redemption? Misery?

@lanapowell 6 лет назад

Danny was bullied by Jack.

@redcr33perproductions 6 лет назад

George Valley Bill was bullied by Henry Bowers

@georgevalley1319 6 лет назад

Randy Riggs I dont think chasing/attacking equals bullying.

@princessofjedi 6 лет назад

jack was a bully. read the book. he takes out his anger on other people. he breaks danny's arm and beats the snot out of a student. he is absolutely a bully in the worst possible way.

@georgevalley1319 6 лет назад

Shawna Jackson Jeremy said "a movie based on a Stephen King book." So I'm obviously not talking about the book.

@SuperAtheist 6 лет назад

his shine is pure. he's 100% DIVERGENT, .

@purplemanjr99 6 лет назад

SuperAtheist I

@angiekelley9038 4 года назад

This movie would have been worth watching if they included the suicidal "Thomas the Tank Engine" train that will only continue moving if you give it riddles.

@BileDuctBalderdash 4 года назад

Blaine is a pain and that is the truth

@angiekelley9038 4 года назад

@@BileDuctBalderdash Is that the name of the train?

@miguelortiz3836 4 года назад

@@angiekelley9038 Yes, the train's name is "Blaine the monorail" aka Blaine the Mono.

@Bannysadkosays2u 4 года назад

Angie Kelly, there's another train, and unlike the mono, it does look like Thomas. His name is Charlie the Choo Choo.

@angiekelley9038 4 года назад

@@Bannysadkosays2u The movie would have been better if at least one of them were in the movie. Thanks.

@kristjannoikristjansson3260 4 года назад

omg, the kid that played the bully also played henry in it! He must really love playing horror story bullys

@JOHN0577ANDFRIENDS 6 лет назад

15:58 trigger is released and the single action revolver's hammer magically comes back.

@Kelnor277 6 лет назад

That's the actor firing a double action revolver. As for why the hammer is cocking on trigger RELEASE instead of pull. Well short answer is it's not because cameras. Long answer is watch this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-nP1elMR5qjc.html . Medium answer is it takes a non-zero amount of time for a camera to capture an entire frame. So a small amount of time passes from when it captures the part of the frame with the hammer and the part of the frame with the trigger making it appear like they're out of sync. As for should they be double action revolvers? It's been a long time since I've read the Dark Tower and I forgot what kind of guns Roland had.

@matohibiki 6 лет назад

Those guns look like colt navy conversions from cap and ball to cartridges, but I'm certain the original ones in the books were single-action.

@chrisgoshey7388 6 лет назад

Its an 1858 Remington: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remington_Model_1858#/media/File:New_model_Army_IMG_3544.jpg Probably a convert to metallic cartridges, though it looks like the shots are igniting like a cap and ball. Also, single action only.

@brcledus 6 лет назад

I was wondering if there were any other gun nerds that noticed the single action revolvers magically cocking back

@der_sebbl 6 лет назад

This movie is so unbelievble bad! What besides the names is in there from the books?

@lepj3880 6 лет назад

Hey, they missed to add two (or 3 with Oy) main characters, they completely f*cked up the whole story and destroyed the whole mythology of Stephen King`s work, but beside this, the movie wasn`t too bad (sarcasm)

@larsrasmussen1714 6 лет назад

A lot, but it's all either used falsely or stupidly or robbed of the context. I mean, the entire movie is 90 minutes of lack of context, but they obviously and unsurprisingly attempted to cater to fans of the actual book series while still making a no brainer action movie for Mr. and Mrs. Whatchamado to go watch on Saturday evening. They failed at both. This movie is an embarrassment to the books.

@bijou989 6 лет назад

The name of the liberal fuckhole who wrote the novels?

@ryantafoya487 6 лет назад

Daniel X If you actually read the books, you would know that Roland of Gilead is the 'forseen one' or something like that. It basically means that everything that happens is in a loop, but changes differently every time. In the level of the Tower that the books were on, we picked up Eddie and Susannah along the way. Roland also lost fingers on his right hand to the lobstrosites (dad-a-chum, dad-a-chee). At the end of the series, Roland reaches the top of the Tower, and everything repeats. But, the next time, he took the couple seconds after the Battle of Jericho Hill to pick up the Horn of Eld. On the level of the Tower that this movie takes place, Roland meets up with Jake somewhere other than the Way-Station. The Callas, Blaine (is a pain), the City of Lud, the Tet Corporation, all of that is promptly skimmed over. But that doesnt mean that this movie couldn't happen. In some level of the Tower, Roland may have been killed with the fall of Gilead. It all doesn't matter, because it all repeats. It changes. It is all 19.

@ryantafoya487 6 лет назад

lepj Daniel X If you actually read the books, you would know that Roland of Gilead is the 'forseen one' or something like that. It basically means that everything that happens is in a loop, but changes differently every time. In the level of the Tower that the books were on, we picked up Eddie and Susannah along the way. Roland also lost fingers on his right hand to the lobstrosites (dad-a-chum, dad-a-chee). At the end of the series, Roland reaches the top of the Tower, and everything repeats. But, the next time, he took the couple seconds after the Battle of Jericho Hill to pick up the Horn of Eld. On the level of the Tower that this movie takes place, Roland meets up with Jake somewhere other than the Way-Station. The Callas, Blaine (is a pain), the City of Lud, the Tet Corporation, all of that is promptly skimmed over. But that doesnt mean that this movie couldn't happen. In some level of the Tower, Roland may have been killed with the fall of Gilead. It all doesn't matter, because it all repeats. It changes. It is all 19.

@SuperDarthLink 4 года назад

I didn’t even know you did this movie! Awesome Job once again, beating the competition once again.

@eatmyphatphuckingass 6 лет назад

Hahahah "any Boo Radley in Brooklyn" I got that tkam reference

@Maggerama 6 лет назад

The Stand, despite all its flaws, at least did Flagg right. This one is 100% corporate, unoriginal G-man bullshit.

@jefferycrouse4652 6 лет назад

Magerama Matthew McConaughey as flagg is where I knew this movie was fucked. I'd have gone with gary oldman at least.

@Maggerama 6 лет назад

I feel really bad for him and Idris. I like your choice, but I'd go for someone like Willem Dafoe personally.

@ThePsyyyyyduck 6 лет назад

114 isnt enough for this abomination

@kenimaticjuggallo 6 лет назад

wow this is the most blatant and intense butchering of a great story I've seen in a while

@mistere873 4 года назад

It’s better if you look at it as a continuation or spin off of the book series.

@LadyOnikara 4 года назад

@@mistere873 No it isn't.

@mistere873 4 года назад

Lady Onikara I just said it’s better, still doesn’t mean it’s good. It’s just slightly less bad.

@polarcobb6065 4 года назад

It may be a good story, but it's a bad movie

@alioop3306 3 года назад

@@mistere873 I'm sorry but No. I've read the books and the short stories. This was a travesty. They focused on Jake because they wanted it PG-13. They stripped this movie from everything that made it compelling.

@ihatemymeds 5 лет назад

The thing is that Stephen King really does have a massive universe. With the baddies from Dark Tower, Insomnia, the Stand, It and others all working together. It could be bigger than the MCU.

@SuperGreatSphinx 4 года назад

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiverse_(Stephen_King)

@Alex_...34565 Год назад

it IS bigger.

@rozwynn2349 Год назад

💯💯

@TearYouApart360 6 лет назад

This should be a TV series not a movie series.

@FleeTheFactory31 6 лет назад

Joshua Baratheon I think HBO acquired the rights and are supposedly sticking to the source material. Everyone knows this movie was trash and an insult to fans of the books.

@joshuahoover6841 6 лет назад

It needs an animated series. That is the only way you can do this story Justice

@kryldon8146 6 лет назад

Joshua Hoover Now that would be great!

@cherylhutchinson6566 6 лет назад

I do not kill with my gun I kill with my other gun.

@richiemanuta9345 6 лет назад

Cheryl Hutchinson 😂

@Buretsu 6 лет назад

I do not kill with my gun, I kill with my terrible movie adaptations.

@kaimagnus5760 6 лет назад

I don't kill with my Gun. I kill with My Bullets.

@undeadly 6 лет назад

This was painful, what a wasted opportunity for such an amazing series

@MrBaskins2010 6 лет назад

You made a stringer bell joke, I love you man

@etoilefushigi 6 лет назад

This movie made me want to jump into a bottomless pit- Why? Because there are other worlds then this... and in those worlds this movie may hopefully not exist.

@trashpanda6885 6 лет назад

Even better there might even be one where it was adapted with the care of something like the Witcher or LotR and was produced as an epic trilogy/hbo series.

@alieninthevideo441 6 лет назад

I'd just like to live in the world where this movie was good.

@Dancerama6 6 лет назад

How would a bottomless pit transport you to another world??

@shallanbrightness3520 6 лет назад

Well, in another world The Dark Tower got the TV Series it deserves.. Just not in here. :(

@Paulafan5 6 лет назад

A crappy series like "Under the Dome"?

@MrU4theChillWind 6 лет назад

15:45 "I should really just relax" *... for Mystery Cinema Sins Theater 3000!!!*

@marlasmith768 6 лет назад

nearly sprayed my soda out my nose.." Divergent Maze Potter" I'm dead

@hannahbanana9466 6 лет назад

This brought me back to your old vids, great jobs guys you've always amazed me on how you can keep your content fresh

@99Pierogies 6 лет назад

how is it fresh? its the same jokes over and over

@elixabethtwyce 6 лет назад

Please cover the babadook

@alexmcgrew9862 6 лет назад

Mister King Dice i really enjoyed that movie

@yasmynemcdonald310 6 лет назад

I had actually missed that Pennywise sign. Lol

@stlwill4914 6 лет назад

Im sure someone else already noted this, but Location 14-08 references Room 1408 a Steven King film as well

@DoctorPenguin21 6 лет назад

It's such a damn shame that this film was such garbage, because the books- up until the last 2- I adored! Oh well... It's just a movie at the end of the day haha. Nothing too serious.

@splatttt 6 лет назад

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person that liked the last book lol. But I totally agree with you. Long days and pleasant nights.

@bookfound 6 лет назад

That doesn't make much sense; Unless you mean that movies are expected to suck.

@matsujonen 6 лет назад

I liked the book just the ending was meh

@Chaos89P 6 лет назад

I thought _The Drawing of the Three_ kinda dragged, but I was completely engrossed in the final book.

@jcb0249 6 лет назад

Upside, The way Hollywood is going it will be "rebooted" or "Re imagined" in like 3 years...4 tops.

@King4sshole89 6 лет назад

A Dark Tower Movie with Matthew McConaughey and Idris Elba and you still fuck it up? Sony just needs to die already.

@AimForMyHead81 6 лет назад

What Sony?

@Egiovanni2003 6 лет назад

King 4_$$hole there's a fucking rumour of them making the variant/valiant superhero comics into movies

@NYCFIGHTBACKROOMS 6 лет назад

Sony has forgotten the face of its father.

@ShiningDarknes 6 лет назад

Yeah man while Roland is totally a white dude in the books, I could get behind Idris playing him because I have liked everything he has done (and admittedly he was the best thing about this movie) and Matt is pretty much how I always read the man in black but he clearly was given no direction at all (likely because the director didn't know what the fuck he was doing). One of the worst movies of the year.

@randelldarky3920 4 года назад

I read the series. All I can ask is WTF? I am glad I never watched it.

@aspecttnd 3 года назад

Throwing out To Kill A Mockingbird references and I love it :D

@filthymcnasty2081 6 лет назад

WHAT ABOUT THE CHICKEN!?!?!??! LMAO

@freddykabuffke461 6 лет назад

Filthy McNasty it crossed the road

@keileb4295 6 лет назад

The bully at 1:26 is also Henery Bowers in IT

@whackgrack 6 лет назад

I noticed that too!!!

@ChillDealGames 4 года назад

I don't think I've ever needed one of these as much as I needed this one.

@LordOfDarknessTim 6 лет назад

Oh my. Liked and subbed just for the "a Time to Kill" reference.

@TheJurnalyst 6 лет назад

No sin is without movie.

@Aimismyname 6 лет назад

man i so badly wanted this to be good

@Kyle-sr6jm 6 лет назад

Can you imagine if they had made this like Lord of the Rings, and actually followed the book? We could of had an epic series on our hands. Instead, its like we ran out of toilet paper, and are now very awkwardly trying to wash...

@Bannysadkosays2u 4 года назад

This could be a Netflix animated series that could span three seasons, maybe more! I would keep all dialogue as it is in the books, word-for-word. The series would be graphic, of course!! The series would be the greatest thing to be shown on television since its invention!!

@NicoleJosey 6 лет назад

LOL "Divergent Maze Potter" very clever, I'm still stuck on that

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 лет назад

An explanation of "keystone earth" and why not explaining it in the movie would be a problem: "Keystone" earth is in our time, before the events of "The Stand" and the Captain Trips outbreak. "Mid World" is in Roland's time/dimention a thousand years or so after "The Stand". We (book readers) know this from the first book when Roland and Jake are in the underground rail system fighting the slo-mutants... they find mummified guards from during the outbreak with obvious signs of tube neck. I dunno. Doesn't matter. Worst Stephen King adapted movie ever, and there is a made-for-tv version of "Tommyknockers" which previously took the title.

@levi_octavian 6 лет назад

stmichelob I agree

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 лет назад

Xenovista.... didn't care about... what?

@fraziercrawford 6 лет назад

Aaaaaaaah I wish I hadn't read this comment. I'm two books into Dark Tower but I've never read any other Stephen King work and I feel crazy out of the loop now.

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 лет назад

Frazier don't sweat it buddy. That "Easter egg" from the first book is only one of a very few in the series, and only serves to explain a few things and give call-back butterflies for SK fans. Not having read any other works isn't going top hurt your experience at all, but may get you to start looking into it. Some suggestive reading that directly ties into TDT: The Stand, Salem's Lot, (The Talisman? Been a while...)... I can't think of any others, but maybe you should read "Salem's Lot" BEFORE reading "Wolves of the Calla". Thinking now, that one may be more important to understanding "Wolves", but if I remember correctly, I think SK does some good expositional explaining for those who hadn't read "Salem's Lot". I dunno. Just read EVERYTHING before "The Dark Half". His writing gets kinda sketchy after that book IMO.