Ex-Elders Tell All - Part One 

Once in the 80’s a JW came to my door with his young son, and as we were speaking, a bumblebee flew between us and the man threw his hand up to swat it away. His son flinched with his whole body and raised his arms up in front of his head defensively. It couldn’t have been more obvious that he had expected to be hit and was protecting himself. I’ve never forgotten that moment. Then more recently I became friends with a man that had been raised in the church and over time told me about his childhood of being beaten and watching his mother and brother being beaten regularly by their father. I’ve always had an intense dislike for any organized religion.

"Living as your inauthentic self is painful..." that is SO TRUE

I have seen nice men become bulliies after becoming elders. We were watching and waiting to see if 2 close friends of ours would fall in line or step down after becoming an elder. One stepped down which I thought showed his good conscience. The other started attacking our inactive grown children to try to disfellowship them. Threatening us if we didn't find out what they were doing and turn them in. It's amazing what the illusion of power can do to some people.

I'm a member of AA. I have experienced more love there than I ever did in a Kingdom Hall.

i was repentant and i was disfellowshipped 22 yrs ago. 22 yrs i have not had a mother. sisters or family

I was actually shocked to hear that both Mike AND Charlie had had experience of child sex abuse in the organisation. It's an epidemic. And, I agree, disfellowshiping of addicts helps no one

I have seen people literally lose their mind trying to get hours in and they are dead broke, stressed, depressed, ect. I was in org for 30 years and now facing retirement with nothing saved. Like may my age we were told Armageddon would be here LONG before we died. Well here we are facing retirement BROKE and with no energy left to work hard like when we were younger.

That was so interesting. Both Charlie and Michael come across as kind, sincere and intelligent men - so glad they woke up and got out!

My ex husband forced me and our 3 kids to move to China in 1997. We spent 3 years teaching English and preaching tirelessly in mainland China. We were finally kicked out by a school and then told go back to Canada. 2 Elders in Hong Kong gave us 5 airplane tickets to move back to Canada and also planned 2 full weeks of free accommodation with bros and sisters, meals included. We had to pay the bros. back which I did. We worked our asses off preaching under ban there. My eldest, 18 at the time, had gone to Hong Kong himself and picked up literature at the branch, bringing it back into China. Police pulled him out of the lineup to cross the border from Hong Kong into mainland China, and asked him why he was only one day in Hong Kong. He said that we taught English and that he needed to visit friends for a change. So they took him, with his suit cases full of literature, to the front of the line to be processed faster and get through the border, and then onto a train back up north to where we were. What pisses me off is that others who go to where the "need is greater" go to 5 star hotels and areas, and then think that they're doing Jehovah's will by not having hot showers as though that was much of a sacrifice. I've been so angry about those ones who then get interviewed on the platform at meetings, as though they are such good examples of serving Jehovah. Not, not not. I've worked hard for Jehovah and know that I've done the best that I could in my circumstances. Those "elite" idiots in the JW organization are in for a surprise when Babylon the Great goes down because that includes the Jehovah's Witnesses religion.

Thank you, my "former brother's" ;-) I appreciate you sharing your experience. I've been out for 19 years now, after serving for 14 yrs faitfully! I didn't allow the elders to grill me in one of their meetings. By the time I finally came to my senses, there was nothing anyone could say that would've made me stay in that borganization. It was the 'this generation' modification that awakened me to the fact that most of the 'friends' are like mindless zombies and they'll go along with anything the borg says. But there are good people trapped in many of the cults that exist today. I'm glad I had my experience early in life. Nobody can convince me that they have "The Truth" now. I listen to God the Father, His son Jesus Christ along with the Holy Spirit. And don't asuume that I believe in 'the trinity'. For me it's no longer about dogma, it's about Life. And God is Life. Amen 💗 Love you guys!

on the verge of my waking up in 2015; I was giving fake time. I made it up when the School Conductor used to texted me for time. Deep down inside, I felt reporting time was just "silly" because Jesus never said to report time.

My fathers an elder and I believe he enjoys the power play.

As an alcoholic, it did not matter that I asked them for help or that I was repentant. They knew that I was being DF’d before they met with me.

Congratulations to Mike and Charlie for not being willing to sacrifice their humanity for this religion.

My younger brother became an elder in his mid thirties. His personality changed. He became arrogant, self righteous and extremely judging. His conduct and behaviour led to me being hospitalized with a nervous breakdown. That was the impetuous of my waking up from being an indoctrinated JW. I spent my recuperation time reading the Australian Royal Commission transcripts of Watchtower investigation into mishandled child sex abuse. What a brutal wake up! I kept my faith in God and Jesus but woke up to the WT fraud. 🙏❤️✝️

For me I was DF right after attempting suicide ( I had my gun to my head for 4 hrs till come amazing officers talked me down) after 3 days at a mental hospital and 4 days out I was taken in to a meeting and DF. After that I tried 2 more times. Disfellowshipping is dangerous. I don't know how I am even alive now.

Lloyd, I love watching your videos. Always packed with pertinent information yet never do you rant in anger-especially toward any in the rank and file. The extreme anger seen in some exJW videos really bothers me because it's only going to further reinforce the indoctrination of current JWs. "See? They're right about apostates! Gotta go knock on doors now." You always exhibit a heart of compassion for those still in their cult-induced stupor, wanting only to help them awaken. Keep it up, Lloyd!

I once visited a London Congregation with my husband . An elders wife came to introduce herself and said ....” is your husband an elder ?” ...I said “ no , he’s just a very nice man “!!!!!!

So much to relate too, I spent 15 years as an elder , awoke last year. Had sex offenders in my hall and neighbouring hall. Great interview , so interesting to know that the experience on the org is the same everywhere , we disfellowshipped a 65 year old single sister who had a male friend stay in her house for a few nights even though she was physically incapable of intimacy. No need for two witnesses there!

I really appreciate these messages. Especially Michael’s advice to listen to our conscience and do what’s right. I have been out of the organization for over 10 years and sometimes digging into exJW experiences can be emotionally draining. To me, Michael made an effective witness of love. Even though we may not be Witnesses anymore does not mean we are no longer the same loving people.

1. This interview format was spectacular - an open forum. 2. Its nice to actually hear that there were elders who CARED! They weren't out to DF people everytime...that they truly cared about forgiveness and weren't overly judgmental It was always my personal belief that 20% of the elders were in their positions because they 'fell' or were pushed into them, 30% were elders because they genuinely cared and wanted to help people/congregation, and 50% were just power hungry low levels that had no authority or position outside those Khall walls. So being an elder gave them some type of power and control over others...a feat they couldnt accomplish our in society.

Haha, I think facial hair is a mandatory backlash for every male waking up.

Greetings Lloyd. Thank you for your civil videos. I speak from an insider's view. Fifty plus years as a JW. worked with governing body at world headquarters in Brooklyn NY. Many privileges of service long behind me. We worked the elder arrangement at Bethel a full year before it was released out to the congregations. When the arrangement was introduced to the congregations there was a stampede of bro.s wanting to participate. Although I have participated in many elders meetings as an adviser from the "society " I never desired to be an elder nor did I ever become one. Not for me. I recall a DFing meeting I knew all the particulars of, which was presented. The three elders were not interested in the facts of the situation and would not listen. It became evident they were set from the get go to DF. It is similar to a mob mentality. They have their righteous agenda and there is no reasoning with then. This and other incidents though the years broke my heart for the bro's & sis's. The JW org. Is not what it claims to be.

My husband was involved with 2 cases where they disfellowshipped sisters, and he hated it, he felt so bad for weeks after that.

I am an addiction counselor in California. I would be willing to meet with exjw people...no charge.

I absolutely love these interviews with ex elders and ex bethelites! Ex rank and file (and current) need to hear the inside info. Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. P. S Really digging all the facial hair 😀

Maybe I've missed it but I think it would be good to really go over exactly what happens to someone psychologically when they are disfellowshipped. As someone who was never in JW, I'd like to know this. I was a scientologist and was declared a suppressive person and lost all my friends that are still and but worse than that I lost my son and suffer from that every day. I really don't think people in general understand the repercussions of that. I firmly believe that no group that has shunning, disconnection, etc., as part of its tenants should NOT be allowed to have 501c# status as it is used as a control mechanism on members.

Facts: An elder will never be a good father

I'm glad to see their really were elders that cared about those in the congregation they were supposed to lovingly shepered.

My brother just became an elder and it is my hope that this will be what wakes him up! We were always very close growing up (only a year and half apart in age), but he completely shuns me b/c I am df'ed. I pray he will wake up and we can have a relationship again, before it is too late. Love your channel Lloyd! 💕 Thanks to all 3 of y'all for sharing this.

I have been JW for 31 years, due to my mom's initial interest, and I have never felt a real committment to this organization. For me it was just a better solution than being a Catholic so I tried to survive for so many years....However, now I'm on the edge of my endurance, I'm full of anger and untrust for them, there so many things to be mentioned, so many negative emotions, this feeling of being brainwashed totally....I have always said that once you've dealt with JW and be taught by them, you will never recover and become the same person as before, it's just impossible. I even left organization a few years ago, I did it together with my husband an he seemed to lose the sense of his life, he started drinking, smoking and our marriage was doomed to failure...I blamed myself because I found and spread "rebelious" knowledge from the Internet, I forced my husband to leave but after that we were really shunned, my parents (also JWs) gave up on us, our former friends really crossed the street when they saw us, we felt like being nowhere because we couldn't get back to Catholic church, sometimes I felt like I lost my hope for a better future and I lost my blessings from Jehowa etc. Finally, we decided to get back to them, we had to sit at the very end of Kindom hall, we had to say we are disfellowshiped and couln't shake hands for almost a year, now I see how cruel and humiliating it was. I'm JW again and I don't feel happier at all, initially, I just regained the feeling of 'being somewhere', of having people who will bury me or my husband just in case, and so on, but I have NEVER EVER felt like the part of them, never had real friends there, never believed in blood issue and "the light changes" and so on. Now, because of coronavirus the chief of our group (I just hate this guy) decided to make phone calls EVERY DAY just to analyse daily text together and as a means of mutual care - for me it's unbelievable to treat adults like kids!!! Ok, i have to finish, i don't want to bother you with this sad story of my life, I know that being free is impossible because I would have to struggle with my husband, resign from my parents and become totally alone. I am forced to stay within an organization and just be a good actress in this mediocre theatre. Thanks to anyone who decided to go through this testimony, I feel a relief that I could tell it openly to people who are likely to understand....

I knew something was wrong with the idea of being appointed by holy spirit concept.But when they appointed him elder I knew Holy Spirit had nothing to do with it.I coined it the buddy system.I told my husband they have made a mockery of the holy spirit appointing him.Thanks for such a informative interview with those 2 EX Elders.

Thank you for sharing your stories Charlie and Mike, and thank you for conducting these interviews Lloyd. .

Very interesting thanks for sharing Charlie & Mike. My mate in Australia became a elder, his first judicial was a widow with 2 kids who had a brief relationship with a non jw. He was against D/S her because she was extremely repentant, but was bullied into agreeing with the other 2 elders. He phoned the service desk at Sydney Bethel & spoke to Rodney Spinks (from the ARC notoriety) saying a mistake had been made. He was told by Spinks & I quote his exact words - "the paper work has already been done, anyway it will teach her a lesson". My friend reigned from being a elder, it was his start to the waking up process.

A behind the scenes expose-wow! Very informative and similar to how I remember it. To those of us who truly believed, and honestly tried to be of service to our brethern, "the truth" turned out to be heartbreaking.

"For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all." Thank you for this video which turns on the lights (new lights) and forces (will force) the cockroaches to scatter.

Thanks for sharing Charlie & Mike. So glad you both are awake & OUT!! Lloyd, this is a Great new segment. We all love experiences💪✌

The content of this video is absolutely amazing, I truly hope to see more of Mike and Charlie in the future!

Great interview Lloyd! I'm so excited to hear that you plan to make this a new series!

I'm an ex JW/publisher. I never used to question the authenticity of the JW organization. They seemed to have what I thought was the closest to the thing truth, until I got older, and disfellowshiped myself. I have a brother who is still with the organization. I had asked to be reinstated because it was limiting my ossiciation with him because of my current status. They told my to ask again in six month. Of course I didn't tell them the only reason I wanted to get reinstated was because of my relationship with my brother. I knew going in they weren't going to reinstate me at all.

Great segment John ,I have a minor grievance with this interview. You allowed Charlie to state that”An Elder really can’t do anything if it violates organizational procedure” If he want to maintain his appointment - That’s just not true .As someone That served as an MS for a Decade and worked closely with two elders that dealt with abuse cases(who were friends)they obviously couldn’t give me details about the case.They told me they anonymously called the police on a pedophile in our congregation . Not only are they still serving ,they served on my judicial and DF me 🤪🤨. My whole point? A man of conscious ALLWAYS HAS A CHOICE

Thank you Lloyd. Great interview. I have learn so much with your videos . Thank you so much for your time ❤️❤️

My father abused me for 12 yrs of my youth he was serving as an elder the first time it was brought to the elder body’s attention when I was 7 and then again when I was 12 and finally it all came back up again in my 30’s at a different congregation. In the end the governing body claimed it was his word against mine since there was no 2nd witness. And I was told to forgive and forget. My father stole my childhood. I will never forget and never forgive. The organization is a hiding place for all he want to hide. And you can easily love to another congregation and spread your evil ways to more. I am awake to this cult and realize that my authentic self does not acknowledge these men as shepherds of the flock of God.

Congratulations to all of you for a fantastically respectful conversation. I think we can disagree with the ones who still a part of the organization without having to trash them. Thank you again for sharing your experiences. I wish you all a happy and fulfilling life.

I'm really thankful for this video and I look forward to more parts on this subject!

Another winning video. Thank you, sir, for your time and efforts.

I enjoyed the powerful sentiment right at the end. And I love that Lloyd asks for whether they have any thoughts for someone who might be watching videos on this subject for the first time in their lives.

Thank you so much for doing these interviews.

Wow that video was excellent. The quality keeps getting better and better.

Great idea Lloyd! This might be the best thing to help active JWs get out of that cult. Have real stories from men that were high up in the Watchtower to counteract the contrived stories ‘the organization’ spews out.

Great conversation! Thank you. Please do more of these if you can :) Your friend Kristine

My dad is an elder..I can safely say this cult ruins people. Also, these ex elders have a good heart I can tell and I'm glad they've seen the light.

Great insight into the lives of elders and what goes on behind close doors. Look forward to more of these.

Both are so brave to tell their stories. They ring so true, each from a different perspective, so amazing to see the comparison of stories, lets make sure that this is stored in history.

The governing body members didn't show up for meetings ????????

Thank you for this! It opens up a view that most of us have never experienced!

I found there to be favouritism in regards to who would be disfellowshipped. A lot more lenience to prominent elders and their families as apposed to some one who is not as prominent. Happened to me

When you repeat "it's fascinating", Lloyd - you're right. I have no connection to the JWs, no friends, nothing... I didn't even grow up with a religion, period. But, your channel and these conversations... the genuine nature of your self, have drawn me in through many, many of your discussions.

One time my book study conductor made me turn in fake time because he didn't want anyone in his group to be on the naughty list of not having any service time that month.

Thanks for the shorter video. I was able to sit through it and found it informative. Most of the time I'm not able to complete viewing a longer video, I fast forward after a bit to get a feeling of what is being shared.

Thank you thank you thank you ALL 3 of you

I was raised as a JW but never baptized. The past few days I've been researching the religion and am shocked of how much info we are not told or made aware. The child abuse situation at the kingdom hall worries me. You never know whose a pedophile at the kingdom hall and even worse that elders must keep quiet about it is despicable.

Man I can’t believe I used to be SO into that group long ago and would’ve been there still slaving away. I’ve been out 8 years and it’s still difficult to carry on, it’s really messed me up psychologically.

I used to play sports with Michael. Great to see you’ve made your way out as well!

Great conversation!

Amazing video, thanks so much. So therapeutic to hear regular guys talk the org lingo like it’s behind them. Gives me hope I’ll get there one day.

Thanks Lloyd, excellent interview! As a serving Elder I agree with the sentiments. I would classify myself now as an Agnostic Serving Elder.

Wonderful video gentlemen....thank u for giving me a view of the elders.

I love these experiences.. shows outsiders the REAL deal!!!

Thanks I Enjoyed that Segment.

My family attended the Brooklyn Heights kingdom Hall when Malcolm Allen I think was CO. This was back in the 1962-1968. I've been faded for over 30+ years.

Excellent interview, thanks, Lloyd. It was fascinating to get an insight into what elders have to do. Totally gobsmacked that BOTH guys had to deal with child abuse! That just goes to show how widespread this problem really is!

I enjoyed Charlie’s interview with Fifth. His experience was one that stood out to me. Great Interview Lloyd

Great interview my fellow ex elders!! Rise up we will!

I look forward to seeing more of these elder interviews. 👏👏👏

Great interview! 👍

Very interesting interview. Love the closing: Be authentic.

I appreciate the honesty here...that there were *high points*. I left to pursue truth not because I was angry, hurt, immoral or embittered. I loved every high point I ever had, truly.

Great interview!

Overall THANK YOU , I feel it’s so important that watchtower is exposed on the issue of child abuse. Elders leaving due to watchtower policy of ignoring or hiding child sex abuse should be an eye opener to many. Keep bringing these videos.

That is an eye opening discussion.

Very interesting and lots of info! Thanks for the apology I was mistreated in my committee meeting!

Fascinating interview in which Charlie and Michael share experiences of their time as elders in two very different congregations yet their accounts resonate with similar patterns along with your experience as an elder Lloyd. Adherence to organizational directions and politics predominate. Appreciated tne observations that either charismatic elders and/or CO's often exert undue influence on judicial committees. JW elders - not so different from other church leaders after all

New to channel. Born into jwo No longer practicing, just wanted to say ty for sharing and pray for those who are still there.

I am just watching these. I've been away from the organization for about 12 years or so. 15 years ago I would have not watched any of these. Apostasy and all that. Even now, I'm having trouble catching my breath.

I like Charlie, thanks for both experiences, I get everything Charlie said.

Thanks guys, may you find peace in your life, and if you still believe in Jesus lean on him when you feel down about the things you had to do! And Lloyd thanks for having these two wonderful men on.

@johncedars amazing video. Ya know I’m sure you have no shortage of people wanting to be on your show however I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I’m a awakened ex JW who saw things that go in line perfectly with these two brave men are saying. I’d love a chance to tell our story. If you ever want to continue with this narrative (elders hands being tied in judicial committees and being influenced by outside sources) I’m always available to talk about it. Thanks for the content keep it coming

Thanks again Lloyd...and most importantly, the previous serving elders for telling all! These videos really are "de-indoctrination" therapy! a lot of people in the JW organization are really good people...but have been lead astray. Your channel is amazing, please keep up the good work helping us "awake" to whats really going on (see what i did there?)

Over the past year, I have listened to both young people as well as elders. The experiences are vast and enlightening. Sheep following but what? Thanks for sharing.

Love it! ty .

The African American guy was on exjw fifth channel. I recognize that voice lol good to hear from him again.

I hope ur able to cover some more of the convention that they had...i always look forward to that...

You have lost some weight!! Looking good! Congrats. I'm so happy you are healthy! I pray for that for everyone.

I enjoyed the interview, thank you. The organization's motto is: "No independent thinking Brothers and Sisters!" Individual discretion cannot survive, for it's the gov body's goal to do your thinking for you. Can you be faithful and discrete inside this sect? Think not ~

My “friend” is the organisation was a victim of her husband. Her husband was also a JW and he sexually abused her eldest daughter. It all came out as the daughter told her mum and he then went missing. The cops went to find him and he killed himself. Obviously the daughter left to live with her dad and to this day. He trust with her mother and the organisation is broken. My friend won’t leave as she is completely attached to the toxic love and positivity. The way she parents who other two kids from her abusive dead husband of course is toxic. The people in the congregation are two faced they try to portray a perfect image but behind closed doors is the opposite. I’m awake now.

Nice perspective!

Thanks a lot

I think interviewing people is a great angle to go in I especially enjoy the higher ranking elders and pioneers stories getting more truthful stories about behind the scenes. I was just a sister in Pennsylvania. I’d love to help what you do in anyway I can but I am still unsure about how I feel about hurting my family by doing so. In the mean time feel free to contact me if you think there is a way I can help.

Fantastic!💥💥👍👍