Thank you so much for this opportunity, Shelise! It's a difficult topic but you helped me talk about it. I'm looking forward to our future collaborations
Absolutely! Thank you for being so open and honest. You were very easy to talk to! If anyone has any questions for Aladdin drop them there. We are going live on Wednesday!
After you did videos about Apostate Prophet i understood you are a liar. So i stopped to watch your video. I don't believe you are an apostate. You keep preaching Islam. You can say you try to be secular Islamist.
I read the Q'uran 10x. I know the 3 ways u all plan to rule over the West. You are a liar. We Americans do not buy your BS nor do we fear is. Call us what u will, take your phobias and isms and shove it. We do not care what u think of us.
Having worked in Saudi Arabia for many many years this answers questions that we always had but couldn’t dare ask any Saudi person. This man is brave talking about this , I applaud him
One of the saddest things about this particular Islamic view of male and female is that children are denied the opportunity to develop some wonderful lifelong friendships and the understanding that successful marriages are based upon treating your spouse as you would treat your best friend.
First of all this has nothing to do with Islam but this is very cultural thing. Tradition and culture are not religion! I am sorry to say but Saudi Arabia does not represent true practices of Islam.
Yeah, can’t agree with this. Not Muslim or religious but co-ed dynamics, especially amongst young people, can be super-dicey. Maybe more people should work as a counselor in junior highs, high schools, and college to see the stats and hear the stories of how messy these “learning experiences” can be and how these “friendships” can have life long negative impacts due to some of the common situations that occur in these co-ed “friendships.” Lots of people don’t know some of the things young people are commonly experiencing (particularly girls) by having boys and men so easily have access to their space.
@@purpleflows5680 as a secondary school teacher (high school) in a co ed school I could not agree with you more. Relationships at this stage for this generation seems to have more negative than positive impact.
I was born as a Muslim girl in Germany. I have to say that I am half Arabic. My father is from Algeria and my mother is German. But everything this young man said about Islam and the rules and the Islamic society rules are true. When we had male visitors at home me n my mom greeted them but then we stayed outside of the living room. We came only inside when we had to serve something. We even ate alone when there was a male visitor. I never wore a hijab but "simple" islamic society rules were in our home too. And when we went to Algeria to visit our family ... I was always harassed by young single men. Later I married an Algerian man and he didn't allow me to go outside alone in Algeria because of this harassment. Yes I was even harassed while I held the hand of my husband. A man drove next to us in his car and tried to talk to me. Glad I didn't understand Arabic but u all can understand the reaction of my husband then. Btw my husband is really open. So when he has a male visitor I can stay with them eat with them and even talk to the male visitor. Because he sees his friends as friends of family. The only men he talk alone to in our house is when there r men we both don't know. Technicians who r Arabic and Muslim too for example. There he wants me to stay in a room. But Islamic society is very complicated I need to say. I have been punished for talking to boys when I was young. I mean really young ... 7 years for example. The result of this punishment was that I got afraid of boys. Because my parents never told me that I was not allowed to talk to boys because of prevention of sex ... No they only told me that boys are dangerous. So I always thought that boys r aggressive and will beat me up when I talk too long or too much with them.
I am so sorry sister. I am from Pakistan and have a different experience which is very toxic and abusive. I wish I can write a long note on it. Now, I am trying to flee from my country and Germany will be the country I will be coming in. Are you still in Germany?
i am syrian american and have experienced similar things. its weird because these rules claim to protect you from evil men, so what can you do? I grew up thinking all men are naturally evil and deviant. until I realized that if you socially condition men to think that misogyny is okay and acceptable then it they will become it. keeping the women away, hidden, vieled, reinforces and enables the behaviors. these men are never really taught to see women as people, just merely females to marry, just sidekicks.
I was raised Muslim and wasn’t allowed to go to a movie in high school with a group of girlfriends because one girl had a brother who was also coming. Or else my father had to come. This purity culture is intolerably suffocating.
Which actually as a result increases homosexuality and transgenderism. There are documentaries about how the girls dress as boys to be able to have a life and the boys dress as girls to entertain men at parties where women aren't allowed.
U mean overprotecting you so that these families can protect their own reputation? They sugarcoat it and make you believe they are looking out for u. But they really are worried about their own reputation.@@syndyjahoor5449
I was raised a muslim and had really strict parents. I however grew up in a secular country like America and hated all the restrictions imposed on me. I had other muslim friends but they didnt have such restrictions so I was always ending up comparing myself to them. My parents barely allow me out and usually it takes one of my friends to beg my mom before she allows me anywhere. I was not allow to go out with my male cousin even though he is family. Didn't get to even go to a school camp despite it being on school grounds and also I studied in a religious school. I didn't get to experience so many things and miss out a lot of things. Realized later on that it was because we were in a cult. Had an experience of a stranger (man) taking pictures of me and my female cousin and when I told my mother, she blamed us, saying we must have giggled around him like us giggling caused him to be a pervert. My father thankfully didn't say a word but confronted that man immediately. Another experience was my mother calling me a prostitute for talking to a guy on the phone even though I only saw him as a big brother and even told her that. So much more happened before I left Islam and my parents house. But I never looked back.
how are people even supposed to form genuine relationships and possibly get married with all these dumb rules? holy cow it's severely limiting to everybody, having to walk on eggshells constantly
growing up in a muslim family i always questioned this too. as a disabled person it’s already hard enough for me. i don’t understand how people can just marry someone after meeting a few times WITH a guardian, mind you. i would need some alone time to truly open up 🤷
Makes me wonder if these rules prevent them from forming genuine connections with women creating a culture of repression and cruelty? Especially considering the morality police that imprisoned and killed women Just for showing their hair.
Thank you Apostate Aladin for having the courage to speak out! This subject needs to be brought to the light. My best friend is half Saudi Arabian. Thankfully, she grew up in the US and knew not to take her father up on his offer of a "visit" when she was 16. Why do all these religions try to subjugate women?
Religion is a tool to keep people under control. Get them to believe shit that's obviously not true and you will get them to do anything. Subjugation of women developed at the same time as religion in Antiquity
@elizabethtovar3603 Very much so. Her mother had educated all 3 on the culture when they were very young. They all are proud of their heritage, (especially the delicious food!) But all are glad they stayed in the US.
With all due respect for your opinions on the issue...Islam does not subjugate women! It never has....if any women has felt subjugated it is most likely because of the cultural traditions of her family which have nothing to do with Islam. Islam gave women the right to speak out against policies of the rulers over 1400 years ago. The right to be taken care of financially by her father, then, her husband, the right to earn a living if she wishes to...and the money earned belongs to her only. ..the right to inherit from her parents and the inheritance remains hers, not to become the wealth of her husband if she marries. The right to keep her father's name. ...the right to make decisions where her children are concerned. These were things women of the West had to literally fight for over the years.
@syndyjahoor5449 Your opinion and veiws are valid. That doesn't change the fact that 100s of thousands of women are forced into any number of awful situations, all in the name of Allah. My Bestie would not be a financially independent and capable woman who travels the world without a care if she had gone to Saudi Arabia.
@@Threemore650 Central Asia probably(minus afghanistan). Nobody really remembers those exist. It is very different from Middle Eastern Islam because it was more under infulence of Bhuddism, Zoroastrianism,all that silk road stuff. And because of nomad life women and children weren't just a perk and played an important role so had a lot of rights. Hence no traditions of thinking of a woman as a 'thing', no face coverege or clothes restrictions for anyone(keeping traditional clothes, you probably do not know but when Islam came for other cultures in Middle East their traditional clothes got replaced with universal Islacmic things). A lot like Turkey but even more secular. Hoever it is changing with Arab countries having more infuence.
I often suggest my Clinical Mental Health students to check out your channel when they ask for resources to gain exposure to experiences and beliefs that are different from their own. I was excited to see a male discussing purity culture outside of christian religion. Thank you @ApostateAladdin for sharing, this will be extremely helpful for my students on their journey to gain cultural sensitivity, awareness, and competence.
14:11 aww that’s so cute: a kid having a crush on another kid. But you see what religion does? It imposes shame on things that we shouldn’t be ashamed of. 😢
Most high demand religions or cults tend to discover that the same normal, natural human desires and behaviours tend to be the best at manipulating for the purpose of obedience and social control
Thank you for having a man on your channel to talk about this. I think it’s extremely important to see the other side. Hearing him say that the women being completely covered has the opposite effect than intended goes a long way to explain the widespread abuse that women experience in those high control environments.
Wonderful interview! Thanks to you two! I find it especially important to hear the perspective from a sensitive, smart and thoughtful male, as the media mostly reports on dysfunctional, violent males, or males with a very fixed belief system in regards to Islam and it is so very good to see there are males (especially males) that are smart and brave enough to question societal beliefs. The amount of people, male and female, that must be struggling with mental health problems due to the suppression of healthy questioning is probably unimaginable high in these countries. And for help they can turn to their belief system only, what a merry go round. Also- regarding deconstruction- how do Muslim scientists merge knowledge and belief...? Beliefs are always taught and passed down, eg. that God says, does, thinks something, or judges, or even exists or not, are human beliefs- so in deconstruction, I think that point can help and would need to be considered. A spiritual experience is different to the belief of the idea of god. Anyway 😂 keep up the great work!
Thank you, Shelise, for this one. I was going to request more male guests. Thank you, ApostateAladdin. Thank you for sharing your experience and from a male experience, which we very rarely hear about. This was a great conversation. Hearing and connecting with the parallels, in constrained beliefs systems.
Thank you so much, Alaaeldin, for speaking out. Please everyone, differentiate culture and religious practices, Middle Eastern people are exactly as precious as any other. ❤ I love the open discourse and I wish there was more room for that within the muslim society. I think it would help.
Shelise, I first have to point out how absolutely RADIANT you look here (even more than usual!)❤ I actually found his channel on my own recently and have been supporting there, so I was really excited for this video and it did not disappoint. However, as usual, my heart just broke hearing parts of this story. The bravery is so humbling and I'm sending light and love to your guest today ❤️
How are you supposed to grow up and be an adult when they not teach uou all about feelings, your body, having interaction with others. In those cults you become somebody always feeling guilty. It is not normal!!! Almost living in the past.
So glad I found this. I’ve been saying all this for my entire life I always knew there was something fundamentally wrong with Islam and the way it is practiced. As a Muslim women I faced so much suffering until I left the religion. I’m doing so much better now and I thank you for this validation.
I am so glad to have discovered your excellent channel. I find it so interesting to hear the perspective of man who grew up in Saudi Arabia. It is easy to form judgments without understanding what is happening with men in that culture. I feel I have learned a lot listening to him. I wonder, what is at the root of all this fear of sex...as it expressed - usually focusing blame on the women, but definitely harming the men also - all the various fundamentalist cultures? I also applaud Apostatealladin for sharing his experience and insight gained. Thank you for your bravery and clarity in what you have learned through circumstances that make such a process difficult.. Wishing the best for you.
Thank you for these conversations Shalise & Aladdin! They’re insightful, thoughtful, informative & most of all…real. Discussions like these are so helpful to us because it removes any possible defensiveness. Also, many of us are curious about other cultures or religions but can be afraid to offend or be accused of committing a “microaggression.” Even though I’m married to a Palestinian Christian I can be extra sensitive because of the way people react to me and especially my Arab American children. We are open and welcome thoughtful questions about our story but also have experienced racism and incredible ignorance. Your channels are a breath of fresh air and make me hopeful for the future ❤
If you host a Western woman who has converted to Islam and lives in Saudi Arabia, you will see a different point of view. There are those who want to live according to what the Creator wants, and there are those who want to live according to their desires and personal opinions.
As someone who grew up Muslim from Palestinian background, I can understand the taboo of sex before marriage etc that he’s talking about but I feel that a lot of things are cultural. I grew up being able to mingle with the opposite sex (maybe it’s because I went to a Christian school in Palestine). As I grow older I do feel very happy about how my parents raised me. I live in the west now and a lot of the westerners around me have many issues such as drug and alcohol addiction, emotional/psychological problems from lack of boundaries in things like sexual relations, over sexualisation from movies and porn, STD’s. The list goes on. I wouldn’t choose to be raised differently in any way and I’m glad I got healthy freedom but protection at the same time.
I am a devout christian, but i enjoy your episodes, it’s interesting and heartbreaking in some videos what people had to go through. I am a human and an empath and i really feel with people who were just persecuted in a way or another. Thank you for sharing all these stories. I live in the middle east we coexist and we don’t ask people what is ur religion luckily. But i am not okay with people going through all this horrific lifestyle and brainwash. I am a believer, but i have humanity. Jesus taught us to never judge it’s not up to us to do that. I guess in gulf area they are that conservative or extreme. My friends are muslims and i never heard heard anything close to what this man had to go through.thank you for enlightening us about cults and mormons , Scientology and more. On the other hand where i live islam is not that restricted we r a cosmopolitan country. And people marry from opposite religions. We speak 3 languages, and we are open . It’s sad to hear all this but at the same time people need to know what is going on. Merci bien 🙏🏻❤️ One last thing Saudi Arabia is booming now as a touristic place with events and concerts. The new king is changing everything. Women drive they are entrepreneurs, famous social Media influencers are gulf women. So may e this man lived at a time where it was by their culture back then to live this way.
What a valuable conversation. It is rare to hear a man open up no less a former Muslim. There is so much talk about the warpped religious ideas about sexuality and relationships. I am 68 yrs old and I was never taught proper neither did I educatate my daughter or son in a proper way. Is it possible to inverview a therapist who can share how it should be? What is normal?
checked out theramin trees after watching this, and I wish I had found it sooner as it likely would've made the abuse from my father a lot easier to cope with and unravel, thank you for recommending it!!
💙💙💙💙 I married a Muslim. When I left him he made me feel dirty for having sex with him. There is so much guilt & shame and oppression in Islam. How dare.a women want/desire sex or affection. This is not the religion of peace or love. It is the ideology of hate & oppression. I have a male Pakistin friend who was forced to marry his cousin by his mother & aunt. This thinking is insane & 500 years behind the times. Men are victimized in islam too. Forced to marry somebody they don't love. Thanks for sharing this male perspective. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
they fear the female sexuality, bc. she is more powerful than those of the men. Thats why they oppress every move of liberation relating to women rights.
I also left Islam 3 years ago, now a proud Jesus Christ follower, Islam is a cult , a made up religion, we were brainwashed as kids to kill Jews and Christian’s and that was the way to make it to Jenna …. My whole family left Islam …
I watched a video on Sharia law in Indonesia and they claimed it was only in one area only. When I told them they're crazy they told me if I was a visitor in their country it is bad form being rude to a native people who are humble followers. Humble my ass. An Intifada begins that was created by Palestinians to have another reason to try and kill Jews. But it didn't stop there. It went all over the world. Every place that had a majority of moslems and in the tumult hundreds of thousands of Christians were killed in Indonesia. Nobody was punished for those evil crimes. It was obvious that by the fact that all News companies ignored the huge killings going on. Though it was before they could use the fake term Islamophobia. I know the whole Christian villagers being slaughtered wouldn't have said anything other than it's what happens with somebody who's the majority and they will do whatever they want.
He couldn’t even give his classmate a note saying he wanted to be her friend?! That made me so sad! 😢 I also wonder if his mom knew that the girl would probably get in trouble with her dad to get that note. So it wasn’t just his mom teaching him the strict rules of that religion/culture, but maybe also trying to protect that girl from her father’s wrath. Wouldn’t be surprised if the girl would’ve been accused of being a temptress or something. “You must’ve been acting a certain way, otherwise why would a boy in your class want to be your friend?” I feel so sad for the both of them-young Aladdin and the girl he wanted to befriend.
His mum definitely knew. Depending on how indoctrinated his mum was, she might have even believed she was protecting this girl from her son (given the culturally common belief in the temptation of the devil and a generally acknowledged weakness on the part of men to resist it).
Thank you for having a man who was raised in purity culture! I know how purity culture gave me shame, and I have definitely talked to a lot of women that’s true for, but I’ve never heard it from a man’s perspective.
I tend to forget that purity culture affects men, too. It's a good reminder. Side question, so you think 'purity culture' is at least part of why men are so obsessed with 'body counts'? Is that where that bs idea comes from?
@@amandakorbe3773 I have no clue of there is any correlation between purity cultures and this very new term for 'how many people you have slept with' being referred to as 'body counts'. Honestly, the first time I had ever heard that term I honestly thought I was hearing a story of a serial killer, not a gym addict.. That dehumanizes romantic partners to a very frightening degree. I would imagine people who grow up in purity cultures would have a very sheltered and overly-romanticized ideal of love-sexuality-relationships when they get to that age.
@@amandakorbe3773 Don't necessarily need religious or cultural input for that. It's just about personal values if you wish to abstain from non-committal relations.
What really puzzles me is how dehumanizing purity culture, especially it's more extreme examples, is to both women AND men. From a progressive standpoint it's kind of obvious when it comes to women - they are viewed not as actual complex human being but as walking stumbling blocks instead. But I also have a lot of sympathy for boys who grow up believing themselves to be inherently aggressive, violent and unable to control themselves sex-crazed beasts. I can only imagine how damaging that must me - for such a patriarchal world you would certainly expect them to view men in a better light. Who I don't have any sympathy for are the people who perpetuate the idea of men and women being ~ so different ~ or even ~ opposites ~ and because of whom even in more progressive societies people of different genders view one another as alien beings instead of just variants of the same thing. This kind of thinking is perfectly illustrated in today's podcast, thank you Shelise and her guest!
With guys it’s easy to spot men who grew up internalizing these beliefs without realizing it. They are terrified of gay men. They believe all men are equally dangerous and repressed so if given a chance, they are certain the gay man will attack them. The reflection, that they will deny until death, is that they believe this because they believe they would do the same to a woman or girl if given a chance. It’s also why so many from purity culture belief system protect male predators over victims even when the victim is a child. They honestly believe the predator isn’t at fault because all men are just like this. It’s why so many Christian judges give convicted predators very light sentences.
Ex Mormon from a Muslim majority country here! You are so so so brave Aladdin AND Shelise (because I know people refrain from content like this fearing they would be labeled islamophobic)
@@TravelinJenB I didn grow up in it I converted when I was 16. TBH it didnt feel any different than being a devout Muslim, all my family and friends were non religious I was treated as the crazy one who believes in made up stories but my parents were sorta okay with it like better than her getting pregnant and drinking at 16 type of thing...
That also meant I didnt know a lot of the Mormon Culture untıl I met a bunch of Utahns when I was living in Europe....thats when I realized the religion was much much much stricter than I thought. Like even in Europe it was practised in a stricter way than it was in Turkey.
The more I hear about purity culture, the more I realize it is way more hypersexual than the secular world. So glad I was not raised with those beliefs. I did grow up religious, but it was a very liberal denomination of Christianity.
So thankful to know you are free!! You are so not alone in that!! Jesus sees you and cares about you! I can assure you there’s so much freedom and healing from purity culture found in Him.
There is a lovely Saudi movie from 2012, Wadjda. It shows how even the middle and upper class women are virtual house-slaves, and the contrast with the men's lives.
also this movie Osama (Dari: اُسامه, romanized: Osamah) is a 2003 drama film made in Afghanistan by Siddiq Barmak. The film follows a preteen girl living in Afghanistan under the Taliban regime who disguises herself as a boy, Osama, to support her family. Sad ending.
You like a youtuber whose channel is just based on hating a religion? Or in your way “Saying the “””truth””” it’s embarrassing live your life without having to complain about this
I also grew up in Saudi Arabia. I am not Muslim or Arabic so I grew up in a way more lax environment, however I was still heavily impacted by purity culture amongst other things. I’ll always remember minding my business with my parents, I was 11, when a one of the religious policemen coming up to my dad and screaming that my wearing a simple long sleeve shirt with jeans was disgusting and an outrage. I’ll always remember the 60 year old Bedouin man that tried to buy me at 9 years old. I remember the victim blaming we went through, even when wearing the abaya. The fluctuations of the forced dress code; some years it was ok to wear a coloured abaya open, some years you had to be in complete black. But I’ll also always remember the free food, drinks, toys just because I was a child. Children are royalty there but if you are a girl you will get whiplashed out of it the moment a man decides you look old enough to sexualise, because yes that is what it is. I am now a proudly out lesbian but the fear of repercussions and the internalised hatred for myself will take time to heal. My dad would have lost his job and we would have been deported if it came out, that’s a hard truth to grow up with. My mother is also healing from years of isolation and being ignored. She is a strong woman but those years took their toll. She was one of the first women that got to drive, such a win. I feel for this man, children should never be viewed in the same sexual way as adults are. That’s as simple as saying “He’s going to be such a heartbreaker” to doing the horrific mind manipulation and physical abuse this brave man went through. You are strong, more than you think, speak your truth habibi ❤️ The mention of prayer time at malls and the gender segregation was such a throwback. Memories are bittersweet with time aren’t they? Sorry for the length, it helps to talk about it…any questions are welcome
I thought it was interesting what he said about it being difficult to question Muslim beliefs or culture in the west due to the fear of being labelled islamaphobic. There definitely needs to be a space, in Liberal societies, to allow questioning things. We can end up going full circle and repressing people x
There’s a great interview with Yasmine Mohammed on this channel and she said that’s by design. Because they can’t punish those in the west that speak against Islam like they do in Muslim countries, they took language from the left and came up with the term Islamophobia to label anyone that criticizes the religion.
This!! Not only are we allowed to question it, we are allowed to take issue with whatever parts we want. Just as people do with the Bible, or with any other religion or religious text. In a free society, people don’t have the right not to be offended.
The more I've studied the history of Mormonism and Islam, the more parallels I've found between Joseph Smith and Muhammad. I realized I wasn't crazy when I found a Wikipedia article on this very topic, so other people had drawn the same conclusions as me. I think it's really cool to see you guys bond over shared experiences
The Hasidic Jewish Community is also very strict in separating men and women. I was a pediatric nurse in that community. I now understand more fully why I was fired from an otherwise successful nursing assignment. I talked with the father about politics and I now realize that a boundary was crossed. The appearance of friendship, even an intellectual conversation, was taboo. We laughed together while talking. The next day I was gone. My work as a nurse was never in question.
What a yoke!it is Day and night between them,How blind you must be,to say Yeshua and child abuser are the same!Shame on you! Mormons are Not Christians, they are Antichristens!! So are islam and all other Religions!Yeshua is Not a Religion!
Excellent insight into Saudi Arabian culture and how they twist/apply Islam to justify it. Also an excellent example of how the patriarchy is damaging to men
I don’t think they are necessarily twisting it. It comes from the same core of all abrahamic faiths. The reason fundamentalists-sects are so harmful, is because the fundamentals of these beliefs are harmful. Moderate theists just ignore as much of the texts as needed to be as moral and progressive as they are.
You are right; ultra Orthodox Judaism treats it's women just as bad as extreme Islam & some forms of very strict Christianity. There is nothing wrong with having a religion with good moral values; in fact it is good, but carried to the extreme it can be very destructive, which does not bring one to honor and love our Creator which we should.
Thank you for sharing your experience as a man in purity culture. I was best friends with a Saudi man in college. He struggled a lot with purity culture and patriarchy. He put himself at risk for me in a courageous way- I am forever thankful
Modesty culture is rape culture and it is harmful no matter which religion does it. I don't have a problem with modesty. I am modest by my culture's standards. But there can never be any requirement or valuation placed on a woman because of it. Some Indigenous cultures wear far less clothing and they are not sex-crazed maniacs. Rather modesty cultures spend so much more time thinking and fearing secks that mundane activity is always viewed through that lens.
Oooh this page is so cool. I love the expanse definition “cult”. It’s a suppression of human rights in any way. I knew someone in college, studying here from the middle east and he told me all about this. He lost his virginity here at college, he was sad and scared to go back to where he could get in trouble for having sex. The type of trouble varied- from societal punishments like reputations, online and personal harassment (if someone found out), to actual criminal charges. 😮
When everyone is going in the same direction, it's scary and difficult for the first few people to turn around and go the other way. Keep talking no matter what they call you, the people that need to hear your message are listening even if it doesn't seem like they are.
christians constantly whine how they're being oppressed and persecuted because they're not allowed to execute gay people and witches. just because they don't call it christophobia doesn't mean much
A friend of mine is in the process of converting to muslim by her choice. Her partner is in Morocco. The only thing I have seen the struggle with is wearing a hijab and dressing 'modestly'.. She said, men tend to undress the women with their eyes more so with modesty than less clothing.
I seriously hope she doesn't go through with it. She needs to do her own research, not just listen to what muslims tell her. I made that mistake. I was very ignorant when I converted to islam and wasted 30 years of my life and ruined my kids' lives in the process. Only when I really started to study the Quran and the hadith, I found out how truly toxic some of the teachings are, and that it's not 'just culture'.
This is a wonderful addition to your interview collection. Thank you for your service. Now it's time for everyone to start connecting the dots between the different religions that use the very same control tactics but in different flavors. Let's stop offloading the hard work of connecting the dots and using "culture" as a shield for abuse. I'm thinking about purity culture, heavily gendered expectations, child brides, male prophets and leaders, women forced into their homes, and heirarchal structures of control which look a bit different but which add up to the same outcomes. We have enough evidence now to recognize and name our similar experiences, no matter the location or religion.
LOVE YOUR CHANNEL, THANK YOU FOR EXPOSING EVIL, THANK YOU FOR YOUR BRAVERIE AND COURAGE, YOUR ARE A TRUE WOMAN OF CHRIST, MAY THE HOLY SPIRIT CONTINUE TO INSPIRE YOU TO BRING THE TRUTH TO THE WORLD, YOUR CHANNEL IS A LIGHT
As someone who grew up in a dominantly muslim country and who left the religion , I am still shocked at how extreme it can get in other countries . It's really sad. It's also a bit confusing , because my parents didn't raise me this way and my family aren't heavy on instilling the fear of god .Even in some areas where I am from, sometimes I see people covering up their toddler daughters (they say It's modest but at the core of it it comes down to sexualizing children )or disowning their children when they have premarital sex. It gives me cognitive dissonance. It's so interesting that you're now covering other religions beside branches of christianity.
The covering of children always baffled me. I was always so confused when I saw toddlers or young children in hijab because why should babies have to be modest?? Why are grown adults sexualizing CHILDREN??? Bizarre, bizarre world.
I’m great long time friends with a women raised in the Middle East Muslim community,,,young girls are harassed with touching and kissing from men. Because of the strict sexual restrictions,,,so moms know it’s best to cover young girls for their protection,from strangers and mostly male family members
24:00 - hearing you talk about the assumption as "Men as sexual predictors" and the internal punishing for having lustful thoughts about women is something that really resonates with me as an American, black American... something I feel that has been pressed on me as well, especially given the latest meme about women feeling safer with a bear over me. I don't know what to personally do with this, but hearing you talk about it at least helps me acknowledge why, although I'm able to externally support this, but internally feel attacked and against it. In the African American community, it shows up a girls not sitting on boys/non-family men's laps, not being alone in the same room. I will say alot of this is based on hypervigilant response to past sexual violence that has happened in said family, but it never stopped the cycle. 28:33 - Same here in the US.
We know it isn't fair but we're programed so even getting a tow or being alone with a coworker our minds go to a dark scary place because we would be the ones blamed. There is also an element of not knowing what rational fear even feels like anymore, like at least with a bear I know I'm not paranoid . Sorry.
With the bear thing, personally for me it comes down to knowing what to expect/predicability. You can look at a bear and you know what to expect - a bear is a bear and you can predict that it will act like a bear. In contrast, you can't look at a man and predict whether he will be a good man or a bad man, because there are no physical markers, nothing on their body that will tell you or warn you. You can't see into their soul and see their intentions like you can look at a bear and know it is a bear. I know what to expect with a bear - I can never know what to expect with a man. It is never personal or assuming every man is a bad man who will hurt me, it is simply acknowledging that I cannot know for sure, and that I need to be cautious for my own safety.
I've had a few interactions with men who've freshly come from these very strict cultures. They clearly don't know how to behave around women and take small kindness as an invitation to cross serious boundaries. As upsetting as it is for me as a woman, I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for these grown men to be trying to figure out what constitutes normal and acceptable behavior. As the mother of a son, and just as a human being, this breaks my heart.
Katar still has concentrationcamps for gay people... A person I met from Katar told me the conversion works, because the people are given hard work and broken. When I asked if he thinks that they lie to get out/ survive, and that in nature animals are gay too and it is okay he said "Gay animals are from Europe.." and I never talked to him again. Well yeah, if one is never allowed to talk, see and get to know the opposite sex it leads to a kind of dehumanisation on both parts where people don't get to learn to deal with attraction in a healthy way... A man who has never seen a woman, will be arroused even by her shoulder, but not if it is normal to see it. Countries that combine politiks and religion are places I stay away from.
"Gay animals are from europe..." .... but yeah that is what the tell themselfes. There are no gay people in their countries. The west makes people gay. Heard that multiple times. Insane.
I’m an Ex Muslim and a big fan of Apostate Aladdin. I find there are a lot of similarities between Islam and Mormonism but Islam definitely is way more sinister. Glad I came across this channel. I recently went to see the Book of Mormon play in theatre. I wonder if the actual Mormon religion is like that 😂 I’m interested in knowing what it’s like to be an Ex Mormon.
This is one brave man. Wow so much to process and reflect on. We westerners are so clueless and naive to the plights of others and what religious prosecution looks like. We HAVE NO clue!! Thank you for this Shelise.
I lived in Jeddah during 1979-1983 as a young teen female ... Found this interview very interesting from a male perspective in regards to interactions with others on different levels..Thank you for sharing the vulnerabilities one has during this journey ... It was incredibly informative ..
Thank you so much! People need to see how this type of culture affects men as well. It’s not the religion, it’s the warping of the religion in order to control others.
For this one, islam is the problem though. It's written as rules that must be applied. If it is not than You are a horrible being that's gonna burn in hell.
@@f.maria7835 I have yet to feel that because I’m only human. When I got hit for punishment as a kid , man i remember. That’s how it started. Gotta please family was how it was utmost importance in philosophy. How I was raised .Yes I do see therapist.
This explains a lot living in a non Muslim country . But have many Muslim men living here in current times . They seem to go “wild” because they are so suppressed previously
It’s so freeing every time I listen to you & to your guests! The guilt feelings that burdened me during my formative yrs to adulthood is slowly lifted every time… Thank you❣️
our first mistake is to devalue another just because that person is different. I share 99% of my DNA with chimps, i otta be able to accept fellow humans
Purity is a very nice concept. I kind of get it. But on the other hand as a women I have to say, the first times I had sex I didnt get it. I didnt get why it was so special. I didnt feel anything by it. I had to switch a few partners to finally "get" it. And im pretty sure im not alone. Since a lot of women dont orgasm very easily or just in very different ways, I have a bit doubts that being with one man only, really helps women to find pleasure in it. I come from a muslim family and if i look at the wives, they all look very bitter. I have a bit the feeling that they just do it, as their powertool to dominate the game at home a bit. I have also the feeling those husbands really dont get that their wives show completely lethargic behaviour and think everything is fine. Im not saying hopping from one bed to the next is a good thing, but absolute purity also doesnt give you knowledge and pespectives enough to know what you want and wanna stand up for yourself. I guess you should experiment but not to long. Nevertheless shame culture needs to stop. Very nice unsusual content. The male gaze...
I feel so sad that this amazingly genuine man felt so bad about himself he seems like he has always been exceptionally kind and I’m sure any loving god is hugely proud of such an amazing person
ApostateAladdin - firstly, this is.a great handle. Being an ex-muslim from Saudi Arabia has got to be one of the most difficult situations. It is such a conservative country. Even with the recent changes, it is still so difficult. Thank you for sharing. And may your future be blessed with fulfillment and happiness. Again, Shokran.
I’m so glad to see him on your channel, finally. Looking forward to seeing more ex-Muslims on the show such as, The Two Abdullahs ❤ And congratulations on the baby. I couldn’t be any happier for you and Jonathan ❤👶🏽
