explaining the hyperfemininity aesthetic 

Who else is in the "Repressed My Femininity Until I Was An Adult" Gang? 🙋‍♀️

I really agree that femininity needs to stop being demonized, but as someone who actually took the time to explore femininity, and relearn that I didn't like it, people really do need to stop assuming that "unlearning internalized misogyny" means "learning to like being feminine". It becomes a full circle of forcing girls to be femme to be accepted again

I know ppl can't catch everything into a 37 min video but don't forget Nicki Minaj was also huge in hyperfeminity in rap, Pink friday, the pink print, she's called the black barbie and her fanbase is called the barbz. Her signature color is PINK, and she was one of the main reasons why I embraced my feminity and stopped the "not like other girls" phase. She helped normalize being unashamingly GIRLY in rap culture

I feel like bimbocore is a direct result of and pushback to the “I’m not like other girls” movement of the early to mid 00s this idea that you had to be ‘different’ or ‘one of the guys’ you didn’t ‘create drama’. Chrissy Chlapecka says “be happy, do what you want” and I 100% agree

I think being a tomboy is only considered accettable as long as you're feminine presenting, straight and attractive.

90% of my life was spend living this fake tomboy aesthetic even though i loved all things girly. Why? because being feminine was attached to all things horrible like pr0st1tut1on, evilness, etc. Back then girls i knew who were hyperfemme like my cousin my teacher a mom's friend, they were all called the most terrible things. Nowadays the hyperfemme look is being popularized by music artist actresses like cardi b, alexa demie (though she's more of a dark one) and NOW i'm finally comforted enough to wear hot pink miniskirts out in public but i get called a "basic b1tch" or a "trend-follower" when in reality i was just comfortable enough to finally show the true me. It's crazy how societies view on hyperfemininity changes every two business days.

Marilyn Monroe's Lorelai wasn't dumb; she said that she pretends to be dumb because, until she met her fiance, she never met a man who liked it when she showed off her smarts. Her fiance, who is a nerd, admires her intelligence.

I hate that you can’t dress how you want without it being a statement. Here’s this for a statement: I wore it bc I felt like it and it was clean. That’s it 👏🏽

It’s so sad to realize as an adult, when I was a child, how deeply embedded my internalized misogyny was towards myself. I hated pink and I hated being girly. I genuinely was taught by just watching mannerisms and how people talked about and to women that being feminine was fucking stupid and dumb and weak. Now I love pink.

This is so interesting. I never even considered that “dumb blondes” were invented by men who felt threatened. And it makes SOOO much sense 🤯

I had a funny childhood because my dad has this standard that I can't be too feminine because "girly girls never focus on studies" also I can't be too masculine "because I'm a girl". It definitely took a toll in me expressing myself and I'm still trying at age 25 :')

I think the worst thing about glamorising a financial dependence on men isn’t so much about it’s implications on an aggregate level, it’s the fact that it’s encouraging women into relationships where it’s extremely difficult for them to leave, thus setting them up for a high risk of manipulation and abuse

“It was really hard to have an unabashed joy in your femininity.” THAT PART!!!!

It's a bit surprising to hear a talk about this aesthetic without even a mention of Nicki Minaj, and what bimbo-core and Barbie-core specifically means to Black women. Her Barbie aesthetic was a huge deal for a while.

The saddest part is that I don’t even have to participate in the aesthetic of bimbo core to be perceived as one or objectified. The fact that I am Latina, full busted, and bottom heavy is enough to place me in that category. My entire adult professional life I’ve had to carefully think about my wardrobe and who may feel “offended” by what I’m wearing or how seriously both men and women in the workforce would take me. All this on top of colorism and racism.

i remember being called “girly girl” (in a derogatory way) in elementary because i love pink, barbie and things like that. when i think about it it’s crazy how internalized misogyny was taught at such a young age. it took me a while but im now verryyy happy and confident about my feminine side

"You go into Harvard?" "what, like it's hard?" One of the best moments of Legally Blond. Elle getting into Harvard wasn't enough because the movie implied that she got in partially because the old, white men making the admission decisions saw her in a bikini and found her attractive. Elle had to prove herself to everyone, including the audience, by doing well in law school before we all finally acknowledge her brilliance. Which she always had. You don't get a 4.0 in college without being smart, it doesn't matter what your major is.

Although I don’t remember it, when I was in kindergarten I dressed VERY girlie, tons of bracelets stacked on my little arms and such. My mom said I came home crying once because my teacher told me that it was not a “fashion show” for me to dress the way I was dressing. But I was literally a child, dressed mostly by my mother and I just enjoyed excessive jewelry. I don’t know why she had the nerve to make that comment.

I am often not taken seriously. I was interrupted, men often repeat my own words, explain elementary things to me. I'm in the "traditionally masculine field," which is especially hard. in one of the next cases, I asked - why do you treat me like that? the answer was: "if you don't want to be treated like this, cut your hair short, take off your eyelashes, eyebrows, nails, stop wearing make-up" ... I will NEVER stop doing this. fuck patriarchy

In a lot of european countries pink was originally for boys because it was seen as the small red, which was the colour of the kings. Light blue was for girls because Mary wears a blue headcover in a lot of depictions and she was seen as the woman every little girl should beaspire to be like

*patiently waiting for your Do Revenge fashion Review*

The negativity towards hyper-femininity hurt! As a child I had the two trains of thought which made me turn away from presenting feminine: 1) I was not pretty enough to perform femininity, and 2) femininity would bring unwanted attention towards myself and would make me out to be dumb. I was already insecure about being ugly so I didn’t want to seem dumb, too! The misogyny of the early 2000s really ruined a lot of my fun as a youth.

As a black woman I can talk as soft as I want, and wear pink exclusively, however I would never be allowed to lean into cosplayed unintelligence and ease. As you said, the visibility is definitely not there, however, even if it was it couldn’t be a “out of the house” practice.

I love pink. I just hate being _forced_ to wear pink, which is why I had an aversion as a kid. My mom embarrassed me by making me go to school in a hot pink get up with a pink backpack, “for her” because I was already a bit tomboyish in style, and I hated the color and femininity as a whole as a result until I was in college, realized I actually do want to be feminine, and now I do like pink. _Pastel pink._ I still dislike hot pink, I’m sorry it’s offensive to my eyes. 😭 Lesson here: Stop forcing gender standards on your children, you just delay their self discovery.

Every woman has different tastes in fashion and wearing a style doesnt have to define someone's ideology

I would like to know how they’re anticapitalist when so much of the aesthetic relies on buying things that fit the look

The word "bimbo" is particularly funny to me, because bimbó in Hungarian means rosebud but also nipple. So fitting for this aesthetic!!

Japanese Lolita fashion seems to have the same mentality of rebellion through hyperfemininity, but achieves it in the opposite way, by being modest and old-fashioned. I guess Bimbos are more similar to Gyaru. The thing that bothers me about Bimbos is the association of femininity with stupidity. Even though they're reclaiming it, they're still making that association.

One thing I dislike about bimbotok/aesthetic however is that a lot of the aesthetic relies on sexualization and sexualizing yourself. I also see lots of girls saying they hate school/dropping out and becoming strippers/underage onlyfans stuff. (I've probably only seen this stuff however because I frequent coquette and feminine communities) There's also a fair bit of backlash against feminism. And there's heaps pro porn and female degradation stuff. ^ This isn't representative of the whole bimo/barbie communities. Just a few harmful things I have seen.

I spent so much time not liking feminine things as a child because being feminine was associated with weakness and a bunch more negative traits. I’m glad we started changing up that narrative, even though it was never really true to begin with. I hope we also get to see more women of color in extremely hyper feminine aesthetics and in different forms of media. The strong black woman trope is tired and perpetuates harmful ideas and treatment of us because people think we can handle it. It’s time for us to be ditzy and extremely girly without being called white for it

For the girlies that want to be fully provided for by their husband/ partner - There’s nothing wrong with that. We weren’t fighting to work, we fought to have the option. Edit** I keep on seeing replies about financial abuse. This is all in context of healthy partnerships, mate selection dictates abuse not you staying at home. Focus on choosing healthy partners not making a problem that doesn’t even exist, like wHAt kiND of TRAUMIZED shit is it to say just don’t even allow yourself to lean in and relax in your marriage because you MIGHT get abused. No babygirl focus on choosing well.

I grew up blonde at the height of the dumb blonde jokes era. And I wore glasses, so I was supposedly dumb and smart at the same time.

this video is SO GOOD. I share the same concerns about bimbocore (especially the bit about relying on men and encouraging plastic surgery 😳)but I also share your positive thoughts toward it! The part where you mentioned feeling pressured to be a tomboy slapped HARD. Growing up, I was bullied for my love of femininity, and it took me a long time to embrace feminism because I thought it couldn't coexist with my love of makeup, dresses and the color pink. (because sadly, the ones picking on me for my style choices/lack of intelligence called themselves feminists.) I'm so thankful we're all coming to understand that woman don't have to possess masculine traits, or even a ridiculously high IQ to deserve to be respected.

fun story: throughout elementary and middle school, i was practically the only girl who loved pink. i did some presentations on pink's history, specifically on why men should wear pink. doesn't really relate to the video, but i wanted to share it hshdhsh edit: yoooo thanks for the likes 🥺🥺 i thought it would also be cool to share the presentation with you all, so I've posted it in the replies uwu. feel free to share what yall think of it teehee

This is so fascinating. I feel like you can see the dynamic in a lot of Disney and Nickelodeon teen shows, the brunette main character and the dumb blonde side kick

I have ADHD, a love of fashion, and a fairly high pitched voice, who also had anxiety (from the adhd) and cried a lot. AKA got called a bimbo or made fun of for being “ditzy” all through my childhood and teenage years. I hated it, and hid the feminine parts of myself for years to try to get away from that perception because I felt disrespected and belittled, weak and stupid, because that’s how media and society treated that kind of person in the 2000’s. The character I idolized as a kid was Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls. She was a cry baby and a “dumb blonde”, but at the end of the day that didn’t make her any less valuable to their crime fighting or sisterhood. I went though so many of the same struggles as her and saw myself in her. I personally love the Bimbo aesthetic because I can wear it like armor now. It’s like such a big part of who I am is being celebrated and told she’s smart and of value and powerful for the first time and it feels good. That being said, it’s easier for me being a white, cis woman to embrace it than it is for someone who is not those things. I think the movement is not perfect by any means and we should continue to make it more inclusionary, as well as more mindful ala the plastic surgery issues, etc.

i used to dislike hyperfemininity because i was tired of having gender norms forced on me, and some of the girly girls were mean about this. now i let myself be a little girly because it actually is fun. being a bimbo is your choice but don’t pretend that some people aren’t pressured into gender stereotypes.

The "best woman" is the one who likes herself and is presenting how she wants to be seen. And there's no wrong way to do that. We are all valid and important.

How can anyone be both anti-capitalist and pro-prostitution?

oh i have a fun fact about the comic "gentlemen prefer blondes"! the sequel comic book was titled "gentlement marry brunettes"

I don’t know how I feel about saying that these aesthetics are entirely subversive, feminist, or anti-capitalist. I understand that they can be feminist as a reaction against the whole anti-femininity culture thats been going on a for a while, but at the same time having a highly curated appearance (such as tanning skin and undergoing cosmetic procedures) is still extremely restrictive. It’s still an objectifying aesthetic, in the sense of treating the whole body as decorative, even if its self-objectifying. Also, these aesthetics are heavily influenced by consumerism, so while individuals may hold anti-capitalist beliefs, I don’t think its right to say that the aesthetics themselves are wholly anticapitalist in their ideologies.

when i was a kid my parents always thought i was a tomboy cause i preferred comfy and sporty stuff over pretty pink things but i always liked femininity i just thought i wasn’t suited for it or would look really bad in pretty stuff but now that im older i just think that’s silly and i try to be my own self now, which is a lot more feminine i guess.

Idk the issue in USA, but I'm from Europe and I looved black barbies and dolls! I grew up wanting to be like Rihanna and Beyonce, wanted to dance at least half as good as black people, it was so popular in that time. And it was very difficult to get black dolls, I was lucky enough to get 1 black barbie. I still remember my friend having a black babyborn so she was considered cool!

(further context; I am trans ftm) The idea of femininity when I was younger was scary. My sister and I learned girly things were associated with being less intelligent or capable and femininity was inherently sexual and, as we were religious when young, sex was immoral. This of course meant femininity was immoral too. I was not a tomboy by any means, having been afraid of grass and dirt and puddles, let alone dysphoria and such, but even as a grown man now, I'm more open to embracing and expressing feminity than I did as a little "girl" and that's so sad. Part of what got me into punk and gothic culture was the blurred gender lines. I can express my femininity and maintain my identity as well. My sister has mentioned a similar experience to her femininity after we left home. And my discomfort with the feminine was usually not tied to my trans identity, but to the misogynistic household we were in.

I will take this opportunity to say that I hope I’m not the only one who LOVED the official Barbie website and loved all the games in it. (Edit: I wish I could reply to all the replies but I just want to say thank you for sharing your memories. It makes me happy)

“Anything women do is going to be criticized” this 💯. Cis men want us docile and passive, yet also want us to be sexy and hot. Intelligent when they want us to be, but nonthreatening and agreeable “Lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.” 🙄So tired of it.

“If everything’s burning down, you might as well be hot and happy on you’re own terms…” That’s a mood and I’m living for it💀💅

Imagine my surprise when I first moved to the US eating the cookies brand “bimbo” in the first grade and having kids be shocked when I said I’d be eating bimbo cookies 💀

It's kinda interesting seeing a lot of people here say that femininity is suppressed during their childhood (not denying it btw, that's definitely true in a lot of cases) but rarely acknowledging that it's also being forced upon girls and generally AFAB people literally since birth. I have a lot of friends who are outright uncomfortable with hyperfeminine/girly aesthetic because it's constantly shoved down their throats. Our conservative school also taught to a very specific form of femininity where girls are expected to be dainty and girly only in a way that is subservient to men. I 100% support women who want to embrace this aesthetic and femininity in general, but it's tiring to see so many people act as if the only reason women dislike being feminine is internalized misogyny :/

I wish we'd collectively stop attaching "-core" to the things we enjoy to make them "acceptable" to enjoy publicly. Love the video, Mina 💖

i turned to hyperfemininity when my trauma relating to s** occurred and it helped me cope. nicki minaj, barbiecore, and pink holds a place in my heart as i don't know if i would've made it without this community.

I used to dress very feminine up until uni. After finishing school & going into work, my age & gender for many people (older male managers) automatically meant that I could not be taken seriously. My opinion did not matter even If it made a lot of sence and they often stole my ideas. I started wearing suits a lot, dressed mainly in black and gray so I could be viewed different. I am now close to 30 and I realised that no matter how I dress people wont change so imma enjoy myself and wear what I want cause we only live once.

HOW FASCINATING YOU GAVE THE HISTORY ON THE COLOR PINK THIS IS WHY YOU DESERVE A RAISE AND TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE HBO SERIES AND MOVIE FRANCHISE

I don’t think women should be demonized for enjoying performing femininity or even hyperfemininity but also unlearning internalized misogyny doesn’t necessarily mean embracing femininity. When I was trying to be more feminine I was an antifeminist NLOG girl and now I shave my head but nothing else and shop in the men’s section exclusively and am more at peace with my womanhood and other women than I ever have been. As a butch lesbian the idea that I’m somehow inherently internally misogynistic has hurt me quite a bit and caused me to slip when it comes to healing from my trauma and making peace with my internalized issues. I really wish there was more room for gender nonconforming women in these essays about unpacking internalized misogyny.

we have to add Lil Kim and Niki Minaj to this conversation. no excluding Black Barbie

love u Mina all of this needed to be said fr. i feel like we’re coming full circle with the whole “pick me” thing - not all of us hate femininity, some people just like “masculine” things or a mix of both

Now that Mina has done a video discussing the hyperfeminintiy aesthetic and ballet core, I'd love to see her cover the "coquette" aesthetic. I don't know much about its history and its criticism, but I know that there is a lot to unpack with it, and I'm so curious to learn about its backstory and its rise to media culture.

My main problem with the hyperfeminity aesthetic is the lack of intersectionality it comes with it. POC women have been constantly marganilized for "not being feminine" but really because societal gender norms are based on white societal norms. It's not helping either that most hyperfeminine role models and influencers are usually white. It definitely feels weird when a lot of y2k fashions from the hyperfeminity aesthetic are just Black and Brown aesthetics repackaged (hoop earrings, lip gloss, etc.)

Bimbofication is also a fetish category that's been around for a longer time than covered here.

I like how Hefner is portrayed as a kindly grandpa when he has a mansion of hyper sexualised women 💀 do we never learn anything about what porn-addicted men do? & suddenly we’ve all forgotten about all that controversy

I think there's probably a place in this conversation for discussing the impact of feminism becoming an (marketable) identity rather than a movement. like the way it sometimes results in us unnecessarily redefining feminism to make it align with every aspect and action of our lives as individuals.

If a woman doesn’t want to work a full time job and someone can provide for her she should be able too. If a woman wants to work and has a passion for it she also should be able too as well. WE should be able to choose what path we want. That’s what’s progressive for woman, we finally can have a choice in what we want our lives to look like. That’s true freedom.

There are three fashion aesthetics in this in case anyone wanted to know : the baddie which is very Cardi B, Nicki MInaj, the Kardashians, characterized by plastic curvy bodies, hoop earrings, super long nails, lashes, gloss, and the wavy baby hair, its elements are fire and is more 21st century Then comes glamcore which is has older styles: Paris Hilton, Veronica Lodge, Clueless vibes, the faux fur, chiffon, silks and velvet, cute purses with pets in them, Jang Wonyoung for K-pop lovers (mixed with a bit of dollcore) the element here is ice. Then the Y2k which is the 2000's blonde bimbo characterized by casual wear mostly eg the Plastics from the mean girls

Genuinely think we are kidding ourselves (and lining the pockets of CEOs as you mentioned) by framing this level of consumption/curated identity via clothing and fashion as anything progressive and anti-capitalist. Choice feminism has our generation by the neck. This embrace of hyper-femininity does nothing to genuinely empower women as a group while we lose our rights, or even subvert the male gaze when it doesn’t. Men easily and often hate us as people and are sexually attracted to femininity and women at the same time. Not every choice a woman makes is some sort of expression of empowerment for us as a group or even on an individual level. I think worrying about our aesthetics constantly is hyper-individualist nonsense, and only serves to divorce us from finding community with one another regardless of how we look because we are so focused on finding our specific look. I also think the drive to being a tomboy for a lot of girls, myself included, came from wanting to be seen as whole, multifaceted people the way boys are, not a demonization of femininity, and it’s actually quite misogynistic to imply that the only reason women dislike femininity is because of their own internalized misogyny, when a lot of us view femininity as a cage we were forced into, and decorating your cage to your specific style doesn’t make it any less of a cage. Side note: I always question how progressive something really is when it’s marketed, and I do mean marketed in the traditional advertising sense, as inclusive for everyone. This specific brand of consumption being open to more groups of people doesn’t mean that it’s inherently progressive and anti-capitalist. It’s quite the opposite- you’re simply opening a new market demographic for advertisers to target and more people for them to make money off of.

Why can't women dress how they want without people taking it as a political statement? Some of them might be politicizing it themselves to "justify" why they want to dress like that, which is also sad. Wear what you want! Sometimes it's just as simple as "I like pink."

I’d argue that the 50s iteration of Lorelei is still cunning and isn’t actually that dumb as a character. She’s more sympathetic, yes - she wants to marry for love, yes but she also specifically wanted to marry rich and knew her appearance and behaviors would successfully secure her that kind of man

Hi Cutie! I loved your vid. I'm an older gal so I have only one perspective to share (you did excellent with this by the way. Would love to shed more light on 2000s era culture with you) -- women fought for their RIGHT to work. Meaning our choice. As a Black woman, it's the same as our elders fighting for our right to vote. We didn't have the choice. Same as ab*.. and the list goes on. People don't have to perform the action; We all simply desire the right to choose and have agency in our own lives.

I'm not even interested in fashion, but you put it in such an interesting social-historical context that I absolutely love these essays. Thank you for your work, Mina!

The word bimbo makes me uncomfortable in Germany it’s and old word for a black servant. So it’s a no for me ….

When I was 15, peope threatened to tie me to a chair to perform a "make-over" on me because I was a short-haired girl who wore very little makeup. This happened a little over tem years ago in a western European city known as an LGBT hub. I find it hurtful that people imply my "masculine interests" were me repressing my femininity or me being a "pick me girl". It was who I was (and am!) and I faced violence for it.

I find the aesthetic appealing mostly bc i'm a university student thinking of staying in academia. In an environment where everyone aims to act smart and dresses in kind of conservative clothes, it feels almost edgy to romanticise being a ditzy blonde in a pink dress. Also i feel like it's connected to how dark academia lost all of the appeal for me ever since i started uni

Talking about pink... Roman soldiers were given those red capes, but the more battles they saw (therefore meaning the longer they lived) their capes faded. The softer and lighter pink their capes became, the more respect as a warrior they commanded.

I dress hyper feminine FOR women. I’m a lesbian. 🎉

Hot take but this feels like surface-level aesthetic empowerment that’s very much capitalism-approved. Aesthetic empowerment just means the freedom to be able to buy and wear whatever you want, and is easily commodified. It also feels like a possible slippery slope into trad femininity and doesn’t really do much for the material reality and rights of women, queer people and poc… it just feels like it’s been needlessly fortified with the language of social justice to justify it and compensate for the shallowness of the aesthetic choice

OMG! I finally understand why the bright red Ozark mountain fly trapping flower “FirePinks” are called PINKS !!! I LOVE YOU FOR DROPPING THIS KNOWLEDGE ON ME! It’s because they have “pinked” edges!!! As a seamstress this is the most incredible beautiful play on words with a personal significance!

as a hyperfeminine bisexy girl i think this aesthetic’s radical embrace of all things girly against the patriarchy links up to/ takes some inspiration from queer femme art/stuff. it was mentioned in the comments already that the hyper femininity of black women notably nicki minaj is an important point of reference to include when thinking about contemporary hyper femininity :3

Tbh as a gender nonconforming woman a lot of these recent discussions abt femininity have been leaving a bad taste in my mouth, largely bc people seem to think that because femininity is devalued in some ways, then masculine women must surely have it better. The truth is that being gender nonconforming or trans or otherwise existing outside of the spectrum of what counts as "acceptable" gender performance won't really get you anywhere. You just get harassed for looking too gay. I see a lot of comments here abt women overcoming the internalized misogyny they struggled with as girls and then preforming femininity more openly as adults and honestly? Good for them, but I worry about the connection being made here between being a masculine girl or woman and suffering from internalized misogyny. I hated pink and girly things as a child, tried desperately to preform femininity in my teens so that my peers would accept me, and then ditched that when I graduated high school and I've never been happier. I think that women that have gotten more feminine as they age don't really realize the amount of pressure there is on gnc people to do gender "right". It's really alienated me from a lot feminist discussion, both online and irl, and I wish that gender nonconforming perspectives were considered more in this conversation.

I think you underestimate the pushback men receive for being a stay at home dad. So many people equate being masculine with your ability to provide and protect. When a guy is a stay at home dad, they are generally seen as lazy or not contributing. This is a reaction you can find from both men and women.

I've recently been diagnosed with autism and have been grappling with understanding the world through a radically different lens, having had my understanding of my reality so fundamentally upended. For a long time, but especially now, I have struggled to express myself freely. So much of what you have to say resonates with me, and it's amazing to vicariously experience your expression of it. Thank you for making me feel like I have permission to be myself and for the thoughtful discourse™️

I thought I wanted to be supported by a man. Esp bc my career choice (freelance) is stressful in terms of stability. And what did I get? A man who was smart (Ivy league PhD), loving, promised me the world, and also… completely enmeshed with his mother and stunted, and a slob I was constantly cleaning up behind. It wasn’t long until he wanted me to do the tradwife thing and ALSO work full time. Be careful ladies- when he wants you to be a traditional wife, make sure he’s not just trying to make you his mother because he can’t stand on his own two feet.

Funny... when we're young, being feminine is stigmatized as being "basic" or "btchy", but when we're older then being a masculine woman/tomboy becomes stigmatized. I mean none of these adults women who are embracing hyper femininity are doing anything transformative or groundbreaking, the way they present themselves is exactly how patriarchy conditions women to present themselves. But thats okay, as long as its their choice and makes them happy.... But try being a butch or masculine woman as an adult? You'll get treated like garbage. You will be denied job opportunities, be mocked behind your back relentlessly, and have people poke their nose in your business and ask you why you dont dress more feminine or wear make up or shave...etc People just need to stop focusing on women's appearance and let women present however they want

part of that "hating hyperfemininity" thing is also probably how tired afab people are of getting that pushed down our throat as children. I remember that one time when I was forced to wear a dress during my country's religious equivalent of a "growing up ceremony" and I took it off right after the religious service because I used to hate dresses. My family started screaming how I was ruining the night and they had wanted to take pictures with me all glammed up. That made not wear dresses again. As an adult I'm slowly unlearning that by going in a different direction and actually doing what I want now. Yeah I wear skirts but not the soft kind. plad and black with chains and all that. I love it. Took me another rebellion to appreciate things that were shoved down my throat to make it feel like it's my choice. So I'm not even all the way there and there's still a part of me that wants to be an NLOG. But that's okay, I'll just do what I want now and no one can tell me otherwise.

You always give us so much information, with LOTS of history, nuance, and different ideas on these topics that I barely knew about going into these videos. I also love the lenses of "In what ways is this good and bad for society?" and "Who's typically left out of this thing?" and "It's not your job to not have an aesthetic/hobby/thing just because there are some valid critiques of it, because there are 1,000 factors in things and almost 8 billion people on the planet and you're not (necessarily) hurting anyone."

I feel like the "suppressing our feminity" phase we went thru in the 2000s can be linked to the flawed popular feminism back then, of like "women can be just as good as men!", which still use men as the standard. I'm so glad we moved on.

it's interesting u put paris hilton in the thumbnail. i realized most ppl in my life who were hyperfeminine were rich girls who could afford to wear trendy clothes, do their nails, etc meanwhile i and many other poor girls who couldnt afford to eat and pay meds didnt have the luxury of being hyperfeminine. also a lot of hyperfeminine rich girls looked down on me for not being traditionally feminine lol.

I feel like a lot of women throughout their youth were told constantly that things girly or associated with femininity were dumb/annoying, which is why so many of us went through a “tomboy” phase and never embraced those things fully. Now that I’m older I’m starting to really enjoy pink, dresses, and everything of the sort!

Sometimes it feels like labeling something as feminist or non-feminist ends up feeling just as binary as gender roles themselves. I support the movement, but I sometimes get disheartened that there is no way of winning and that we will always get stuck in a loop.

As someone who ended up embracing more the soft pink/Sanrio/cutesy hyperfeminine area of the map around the same time that bimbocore was on the rise, I could never fully articulate the exact reason that it felt similar and yet completely different, but this video nails it exactly. It's the same 2000's nostalgia, the same desire to tune out from the fast pace of the seemingly endless slew of disasters over the past years (though flavored more "innocently" than bimbocore), and balancing that with the same struggle, as you quoted, of "denying themselves the pleasure of being girly and wearing pink for the sake of being taken seriously by men [...]" like girl I felt that SO HARD. It's a sister aesthetic in many ways, simply in different shades of pink, and as an Asian woman it also feels like a reclaiming of my own culture that I rejected in the intervening years to embrace the "kawaii" trend. It's always a fine line to be taken seriously when you're already infantilized no matter if you have a Hello Kitty desk or not. And it's interesting to see the tangible evidence of this niche's growth - a majority of the items currently for sale on the Sanrio website are home items/marketed to adults. Anyway, this is becoming an essay on its own but one last thing: For y'all that like the long nails and lingerie and jewelry and etc. but want to buy out of the capitalist cycle, consider buying your stuff from independent artists. Tons of them on Etsy and the like.

Remember those Russian girls in the early 2010s who would transform themselves into real life Barbie Dolls? When I first heard about Barbiecore, I thought it was about that scene. Apparently they’re just called “living dolls”

I understand when you said as a young girl we're conditioned to be more "masculine," but I lived a childhood of like boy and girl things. I see a lot of girls talk about they "faked" being a tomboy and they preferred girly stuff, and it makes me think you can like both things. Growing up in a close minded, southern black Christian family I had to hide my interest in "boy things." I think something we really need to do is stop gendering aesthetics, Clothes, toys, etc. It doesn't matter if it's a blue shirt if you like wear it, it's doesn't have to be boy or girl, masculine or feminine. Maybe it's because I'm neurodivergent (I've heard a lot neurodivergent people have trouble understanding/caring about social norms) but I've always thought social norms were the dumbest thing to every exist.

This was way more interesting topic than I expected. Excellent channel. 🤙

I regret that ppl hated Paris Hilton for misogynistic reason's and not because she's a racist.

The only thing wrong with this intro is saying teenagers were sneaking onto Facebook in 2006. We were sneaking onto MySpace and aol 😂 but otherwise, vibes

24:20 I grew up with a mexican mother who was the personification of "not like other girls" and while she didn't prevent me from liking/having/playing with pink and girly things, there would always be a comment about "but pink is so ugly!" And "buts that's so GiRlY 🤮". When I started wearing makeup in high school, no matter how many times I explained it to her, she just COULD NOT wrap her head around the fact that I wore makeup because I just LIKED makeup and feeling 'pretty' and that I knew perfectly well I was 'pretty' with or with out it on. Nowadays I can understand where my mom came/comes from. She grew up in Mexico city and experienced YEARS of street sexual harassment and catcalls. Then when she came to the US and entered non-latino circles, she saw how SEXUALIZED latinas were and how people VIEWED her because of that horrible stereotype. So in response to that she rejected ANYTHING that was hyperfemminine to 'protect' herself and SURVIVE. Even now, bc I'm an AFAB Femme Latine who wears big hoop earings, long eyeliner, dark lined lips, and feminine Y2K fashion, she's worried about how I'll be perceived/treated bc I 'look like THOSE types of Latinas". I know she does it out of love and worry for me but it's really fucking sad that my mother had to resort to that type of thinking in order to be taken seriously/feel like she had control over her body.

Hyper feminine is also attached to the whole being high maintenance which opens the conversation about financial capital. Even growing up as much as I was into girly things I didn’t have the means for a lot of these things and I noticed that the only way to have friendships with these type of girls was you automatically had the means to buy certain things. I befriended a different friends that weren’t based around material things but these friends of mine as much as we respected each other they did categorize me as feminine and I still felt like something was missing in terms of questioning if I could still have healthy friendships we females who were feminine. I felt disconnected around a lot of them because it opens up a can of worms about the toxic parts of being a female that I actually witnessed such as bullying and arrogance.

I think if a woman wants to be a stay at home wife, she should. However, you should not do that at 18 unless you've built your own financial stability already. I believe we all need financial stability before getting legally entangled with another person. We don't know what's going on either, so we don't know what the work life is going to look like in ten years, or five years even for some of us. It's like putting all your eggs into one basket, and then hoping the basket doesn't shake or fall.

recently crocheted myself a pink mini dress for my birthday paired with pink platforms! so excited about this video! this aesthetic grew on me out of nowhere lol I think it’s like I’m finally old enough to style myself this way and not fear adult judgement. 😭

Being 30 now, it is really funny to see that SO MANY WOMEN went through the "opressing-femininity/not like other girls" phase. There were no "other girls", we were the other girls.

i love watching minas videos because they're so educational but her voice is also so comforting and soft so its literally both educational and relaxing at the same time. LOVE LOVE LOVE!

i hate the idea that feminine women have it tougher than masculine and gnc women. it really shows the sheer amount of privilege held when i see another feminine woman spread these narratives. as a femme lesbian, i see how butch and gnc women get treated. its a level of homophobia and misogyny we will never have to deal with. you can not discuss hyper-feminine aesthetics and their relations to misogyny without talking about butches and masc women; and all of these videos examining hyperfeminity always fail to do so. its frustrating.