Really glad to see you have such a supportive wife Eugene. Just as you mentioned, most physicians would likely tout that any behaviour or stimulant that directly activates certain neurological pleasure centres or results in a serotonin cascade can habituate an organism's biology to expect a continuous influx of that same stimulus, or else seek any means to obtain it. Unfortunately, the psychological parameters may be far more complex (and yet, rather easy to deal with). To be brief, it may be advantageous to seek counsel with a competent hypnotherapist that would essentially take you to the root of the problem on a subconscious level - be that a physical, emotional, ontological event or otherwise - allow you to make the appropriate changes/healing, and finally examine how those changes would manifest for you in the future. That's the beauty with working at those levels. It can take as little as one session. There's no need to give up collecting (or smelling perfumes) IMO, as long as the root is dealt with and a certain resultant objectiveness exists between yourself and "the juice". Although, it's very possible that you'll see perfumes differently afterwards (in a good way) and naturally want to sell some stuff to help others experience your passion. I went through something similar in the past and for me, it wasn't about what external objects brought me, but what they didn't bring me that a part of myself expected. Essentially, it was a way of distracting myself or "silencing a budding warning" within me, similar to the psychology procrastination. The behaviour of obtaining was sufficient to create the illusion of progress by giving me a tangible item (a result) onto which I would deliberately (subconsciously) project the idea of insufficiency, thereby feeding the cycle. For me, the solution was not about quenching a need per se, but understanding my relationship to it from a mental perspective, namely that part of me was looking out for my wellbeing. Once I began to listen and take the proper action, I became aware that the budding warning was about something completely different, that involved how objects mediated my relationship with others. Gotta love those base notes huh... Anyway, as far as perfume addictions go, it sounds to me that with your unique insight, you may want to write a book! It could offer health professionals a more personal perspective on the issue and how to better counsel others facing similar circumstances. I applaud your courage in coming forward Eugene and offer sincere thanks to Maria for her wonderful feedback! Happy 19th Birthday to her btw! Two more years and she can drink. lol Mandatory viewing for everyone in the community as far as I'm concerned.
Oh I love your feedback on so many levels. I am big on mindset work, digging deep and understanding the why behind our actions. I am really into anything that deepens the relationship with oneself. I believe that we have the power to change...even if that means getting a little guidance. Thanks for the birthday wishes. I am almost "over the hill". :)
You bring up a great point which is the aspect of it really NOT fulfilling what we are expecting it to. If we begin looking for our satisfaction from purchasing something, we will always be wanting. Because it never truly satisfies. I think the trick and hard part if find long ways to satisfy that place within us with healthy things. Then the perfume can just be fun and icing on the top.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this post... I've participated in many collecting addictions through the years, and now that I am 70, I have accumulated so much stuff that I never needed in the first place. I wish I could convert it all back to cash and lost time with loved ones... Thank you both so much for this inside look.
I’ve had problems with addictions my whole life. Be it love, collecting dolls as a kid or teenager to substances, work, shopping, even obsession with learning new things. I overdue and overthink and over compulsive ruminate about something every moment of my life. Running was the only thing to set me straight where my body set my limits. I don’t know… it’s always be a part of me I just have to work on it every day of my life. Sadly enough.
I adore you even more now after watching this video! Your wife Maria is such an amazing woman, beautiful, intelligent, matured, and most importantly she has a great sense of humor! Thank you for sharing this video with us, I am officially addicted to your channel! Cheers!
Thanks for keeping this up Eugene. I hope that you are doing well as can be. The more I watch your videos the more I actually care about you and your well being. I went from being a drug addict to an alcoholic to collecting perfumes. I just wanted to say thank you for your channel and time.😊
I found you while looking for reviews on Chanel Les Exclusifs and wow this is deep! Great insight into an issue that many frag reviewers and viewers may be in denial of, don’t even know is an addiction or even don’t know how to deal with it yet in all these cases it’s be negatively affecting their lives whether relationships, finances, physical or emotional wellbeing
Thank you for sharing. I found that.I have similar addiction-like behaviors in my life and I found your wife's solutions very helpful and confirming what treatments can help.
So happy that I saw this. I went through RAD, SAD and FAD. Respectively "Razor acquisition disorder", "Soap acquisition disorder" and "Fragrance acquisition disorder". Am at the end of FAD now. It just hit me when I saw today a video mentioning the death of Carlos from Brooklyn fragrance lovers. I saw a video of him next to his collection of bottles full at 99%. The whole collection is worth around 100k. Fragrance lovers never finish their fragrances or if they do it's just one bottle and they actually continue rebuying the same one. So where do these bottles go now? He left them behind and he sadly needed a go fund me for his funerals. This was eye-opening.
Hello! Thank you so much for publishing this video. I myself am addicted to buying new perfumes and I just started taking steps to recover. I want to emphasise on the part where you said that throwing out the perfumes does not solve the problem. This is one of my biggest triggers and I don’t know how to deal with it. I personally have started gifting the perfumes I don’t want to my friends. I was very afraid that I might miss them later, but actually I feel good about throwing them out of my life. However, now that you said that this does not fix the problem, I started questioning whether I am doing the right thing. I don’t know what to do, any advice? I have a big fear that I might regret gifting them later on, but at the same time it’s liberating :((((
I'm 56, addictions to perfume and makeup began at 14. Other addictions apply, but this video was about perfume. I have hundreds. Ahhhh natural dopamine needed asap
One in one out strict policy. That way you have to get rid of one you like to take on a new. This keeps you in check. A perfect 30 or so top limit so you consistently use the ones you have and love and not always seeking new and sampling
Most people with perfume addition stay alone or run in debts leaving a very bad situation for their family. I think we all remember the case of the Mickers. Dan's death in all probability was because of this addition. I recently saw Cherie from The topnote, go on a no buy year. And this year she plans to declutter even further. I guess, knowing what others are going through and knowing that it doesn't have to be this way is helpful. Thank you for sharing this with us! Ps. Another thing I liked from The Topnote was her seasonal rotation of perfumes. To make sure she doesn't get bored from them.
I stopped drinking alcohol 11 years ago, and since then I've been addicted to fountain pens and ink, over-showering, and now ... fragrances. Addictions are almost impossible to get rid of, but the trick is to swap and find an addiction that doesn't cost too much money. At one point I was addicted to yoga and repeating affirmations,, like buddhist monks,, yeah, they meditate and sing 24/7,,, they too have an addiction towards being minimalistic and poor and own nothing and eat only a bowl of rice per day
Not sure if this will help anyone. I have been in 12 step for substance addiction for years. Recently found myself addicted to perfumes. Thankfully I have realised this early and only a few hundred of pounds in. I am confident that by recognising it I can stop the behaviour. I honestly don’t think I am filling any kind of emotional hole, I think it’s simply reward centred dopamine addiction the same as any other. It’s a way of rewarding myself for working and being responsible etc but because I am prone to addiction it’s become a compulsion :)
I was really focus on every single sentences. Very informative and your wife is so articulate. but 20:30 😂😂 sudden joke came out lol 😂 lol 😆 If you buy fast food right now it will be less money to buy perfumes lol
Step 1 (pacify) CATALOG.... pull out a journal and every single day when you get that feeling like you want to buy more grab a bottle you already have. Start a catalog of the notes and the perfumer and some history about it. Then write how that particular perfume makes you feel. EVERYDAY make this a priority. You will strengthen your appreciation for what is there and not feel the need to add more. The only time you should add more is when it’s a development of the collection and not so much an “addition” if that makes sense. Step 2 (alleviate the clutter) sell whatever you have no used in an extended period of time. Scents that you have that are “clones”need to go. Find the best one of the bunch and sack the rest gladiator style. Try to condense and let the BEST remain only. All things do not need to be collected otherwise you’d be collecting dollar store copies right? Anyway good luck and I hope that you read this comment because this helps me.
Realest post in all of fragcom. Realest post I’ve watched on RU-vid, period, in a very long time. Thank you so much for being real, brave and honest. After years of frag addiction, I’m deeply in debt, embarrassed, trying to dig out without my family finding out. Your wife is wonderful. Please keep posting updates. Very inspirational. ❤️
I am glad this video stirred something within. It is very brave of you to admit to where you currently are in your journey. This is not about being perfect. There is no such thing. It is about being aware of how our emotions and thoughts drive our actions. We, humans, know deep done whether something is really good for us or not. If it is not, then taking a step into a different direction. We need to get comfortable with asking WHY we do the things we do. Even if it feels uncomfortable.
My wife and I raised 5 kids and we basically done without for many years because all our finances seemed to go towards their upbringing. They are all grown now and own their own. My wife took up crafting and makes many beautiful things for our house and our kids houses. I took up several hobbies but the fragrance hobby really pleased me. Now that we have lots of extra money It is really not a worry about how much she spends or I spend. We are just happy now to be alive and healthy. She buys what she wants and I buy 5 bottles of cologne at once. She is happy I am happy. When you guys get older and the kids are gone you will be looking for something to do. My wife now crafts and sells some of her work. I usually garden,do wood work and collect cologne. One day she and I will be dead and nobody will care what we did to get our kicks post family life.
Amazing video man. Brave and vulnerable and kind. I take it to heart man thanks for doing this and thanks to your wife for doing this. This is a really important conversation. Great video.
Dear Eugene and Maria: thank you for sharing this video. It takes plenty of courage to publicly acknowledge and talk about personal experiences, moreover vulnerabilities, so I praise you both for that. The content: oh how complex! It’s been one that had me controversially immersed with agreements and disagreements until I finally decided to agree on María’s statement. I think we all have addictions (in greater and/or lesser levels). In a society of generalized anxiety, stress, and many other health-threatening triggers, we must find a way to “escape” to our safe havens, or “spiritual temples”. This, however, must be absolutely controlled to maintain sanctity and order. If it gets out of control, then intervention is required. I do praise you both for sharing your experiences with these personal temples and for showing us where the thin line resides. I do understand Eugene, being a fragrance “collector” (though some might say “hoarder”) myself. To me, fragrance is more than just a new toy; it’s about memory, emotions, sensations, and experiences. However, I must be reminded about María’s standpoint: in the end, it’s just scented water; and this should not be vital. Anyway... just wanted to comment that this content has had me through four stages of emotion: controversial; enlightening; inspiring; acknowledgement. Thank you for sharing this with us. Abrazos from Puerto Rico. - Dave
Its brilliant that u have someone to support and help u and that can do that. A lot of people have family that want to help but dont know how. Community and support are massive parts of recovery
You were very brave to admit your addiction on this platform. As a recovering addict myself I have to watch my fragrance buying and not let it get out of hand. I do enjoy fragrances and have to limit my buying to only things I really like and only purchase a few bottles a year. Your wife is a caring, intelligent woman, kudos to you both.
Great video and topic, I have the same compulsive habits regarding shopping emotionally with a specific emphasis on both food and perfumes. I was also from a very financially disadvantaged background and envious at how others got to eat “exotic” foods in restaurants, new clothes, etc. When I first started making money I aspired to “catch up” with others and make up for my perceived deprived childhood by buying, clothes, music, food, perfume. I felt special and glamorous for buying stuff like this and couldn’t understand how other people can be so boring and mundane as to want to save their money. It actually shocked me when others did not share my enthusiasm for these objects at first. However once you bought these things they were almost never as magical as you wanted them to be and you started getting bored and dissatisfied because ultimately these object are merely things that I held up as symbols in a form of self delusion. This was unhealthy relationship because if I spent the money for it I should get good usage or enjoyment from it. But a lot of food, clothes, perfumes were not used or liked or suited to me because I bought impulsively and didn’t understand my own preferences. After I realized that things are just things my shopping process was less emotional and refined to suit my needs, I was able to actually enjoy my choices a lot more. I think a lot of the compulsion was driven by curiosity and fear that I was missing out on something amazing. As for perfume, it’s okay to keep some that you don’t like at first because someday you can end up liking it since tastes change frequently. Also some cheaper perfumes are fun on days that are casual, it doesn’t always have to be all that serious. I’ve had a collection since teenage years and have purged several times and felt great about it. Also I recently made a Excel file of my collection and put my notes and comments and feelings too, its fun to go back and read because it’s so personal, one day I might self publish this in a book. I have a tab based on perfumes that I want and go test them and strike them off my list with comments. It’s help me become less impulsive and lets me enjoy my existing collection more. Best wishes on your progress.
Real talk, thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing, your wife sounds very intelligent and also understanding 😃 this should hit home for a great many people watching.
I agree with you that keeping your collection and still enjoying the hobby is key. There is a balance that I think can be achieved. The fact you’re having these conversations means you’re on the right track I think. And this really puts me in check myself. I have a history of alcoholism and drug addiction which I have had treatment for and have been sober for years now but it’s clear I have replaced those with the fragrance obsession. Constant;u thinking about it, reading about it, watching, shopping. So this is a huge wake up call for me. Just wanted to say that. But I do still think there’s a healthy way to enjoy all the good aspects to of fragrances.
What a breath of fresh air! I too, have recently acknowledged to myself that I have a fragrance addiction and have let go of those which I do not absolutely adore. I’m down to 20 bottles on ONE shelf. Still a stunning collection and now can focus on making memories with my family. I hope you soon find what works for you! Your wife is lovely and you are lucky to have one so understanding!
Happy Birthday Maria! Yup, I have been there. Only at a lower level. Cannot afford too many full bottles, so found myself buying tons of samples and decants. Thousands of dollars worth! Thousands that I really couldn't really afford. Am now much more selective and careful with my spending, and much happier for it. Many thanks to you folks for so willingly and openly discussing this topic. Mahalo!
Something that really needed to be spoken about in the community! Facinating topic and sincerly appreciate you both being so open and honest with everything you decided to share. I know i've caught myself in an almost anxiety attack until i sought out & found a fragrance i want to buy. i didn't even need to buy it 99% of the time. Thankfully i caught that and i'm better at that but it still happens at times 🙏
Wasn't expecting this. This is an excellent video, thanks you two for being so open with your lives. This meant a lot. If we could all be this raw and forward what a world it could be.
Thank you for sharing this, this is important to all of us. Indeed, when does a hobby become an addiction? I admire the two of you and how open you discuss these issues. Thank you for doing this and thank you for continuing while keeping yourself in check.
Obviously you two have a great marriage. To be able to be so honest and to feel that you you can work on things together- that’s not common. This video is very honest and shows your vulnerability with each other. Thank you.
This was so brave, informative, and helpful to me on a personal level-certain points definitely hit home. Your wife is so incredibly lovely and understanding-reminds me of mine in many ways. You’re so lucky to have each other as you work through these issues. Much luck to you and your family. All the best!
You guys seem to have a great relationship, I love that you both can speak openly and with such vulnerability about your issues and support each other. I think fragrance addiction much more common than we think so I'm glad you put this video out there. I have a pretty small collection myself but I can sense the impulse to dive into this hobby and spend lots of money when things aren't going so well in my life.
Awesome topic. Glad you talked about as it affects many people. I feel that will all have problems and we try to escape from them. That is when sometimes an addiction begins. It is very important to realize of the problem and to have support of family. Thanks, Eugene.
Thank you for tackling this topic and sharing your journey with us. Also, I appreciate your honest discussions on the mass marketed crap in circulation. Fragcom is currently oversaturated with sponsored videos and generic lists that original content is refreshing. I’ve been collecting since November but now I realize I’ve been withdrawing from my peers. My favorite aspect about collecting is the research and the hunt to find the fragrance. Recently I’ve experienced anguish from locating DHP in the United States. Now that I’ve found it at the normal price I have no desire to purchase it anymore. An endless cycle for me that I will now seize control over. Thank you again.
Kudos to you Eugene (and wife and kids). This took a lot of courage. I wish you (all) success both individually and as a great family. All my best to you bro!
Thank you for sharing this personal experience in which I'm sure that more than one will find themselves reflected. I had the same problem for years and the guilt feeling was eating me alive, until last year when i decided to come clear and stop buying everything whenever i had the urge to feed up my ego. I started to swap, to sell, to buy less, and the most important to be honest with my partner. It wasn't an easy run, but it most certainly worth the change. If i made it, I'm more than sure you can make it as well, especially having the support of the most important people in your life.
This is really great to put all your cards on the table and educate people about this addiction because you are definitely not alone. I feel like so many suffer from this and are not facing it maybe because they don’t feel it’s legitimate because it’s not say a drug addiction or gambling like your wife said but all addictions are equally valid and thank you for being open about your experience and trying to face in especially in a RU-vid video. Good work
This is such an eye opener. I thought it was just me. Hearing Maria discuss perfume addiction smacked me in the head, making me realize that I suffer from it, too. You have a lovely wife and a very understanding one. She’s a treasure!
Thanks, guys. This was very interesting & informative. Like Eugene, I fully recognise that I have a fragrance addiction & I found this very helpful. Eugene, you're very lucky to have such a understanding, intelligent & beautiful wife. If me & my wife had of made this video the first 5 mins would've started of similar & then the next 20 mins would've just been a full blown fight!
Eugene and Maria you guys are really a breath of fresh air. I think we're all faced with addiction. It's that door we find wide open and decide to in for better look. So compelling these journeys are behind that door that we forget to come back home. Scent is so powerful. I spent 11 hours yesterday sitting in front of my amplifier playing guitar and spritzing Gerlain Heritage edp into the air around me. That scent is my companoin for solitary creative times. Hell of a great day! Eugene, encouraging to seeing your desire to come back home!
Thank you for being open about this topic. It is a relevant problem for this community to be aware of. I also notice that you are in very loving and supportive relationship which is nice to see.
Very honest, and you're very lucky to have such a great and intelligent(and beautiful) woman with you, I think it's a good start to heal from whatever it is that your addiction is from.
Thank you so much for sharing this video! Everyone should see it! Loved the topic, the brutal honesty and especially the courage to face and share your addictions with each other. Happy Birthday Maria! 😊
I respect and appreciate the honesty of both you and Maria. I would be interested in hearing how you navigate through this, to where you are content with your collection, spending amount, work schedule etc, I'm sure this will help so many. Happy birthday to beautiful Maria💜
An incredibly insightful video. I Really appreciate this personal conversation as a tool for us in the community to use and help us with our own addiction. Really good stuff
This is a very sensitive subject. Mainly because as Maria mentioned there’s an addict in most or even all of us. It just comes out differently. I feel addicted to perfume too. And going to the gym, and food. I literally just had a conversation with my wife about this. She wanted to use a sample of a fragrance I want to try. Well not so much sample because in my mind I already know I’m going to buy it at some point as I’ve tried it twice before. So it’s more like holding back the sample to know in my mind I can spray a little of it when I want to before I ever get the full bottle. It’s ridiculous, because I have a few hundreds of bottles and I share them all with her. Why hold back the sample when I have so much other fragrances to spray, right. And often I get new fragrances and forget about them really quick. If I’m really honest I could sell probably half of my collection if not more and still be happy with what I got. But as you probably know it’s difficult parting with an old friend, and going to the hassle of selling it online. I am slowing down my purchases really quick, as we bought a house and need to renovate. I understand it needs sacrifices on my behalf and I would feel bad if we ever fall short on money because of fragrances. I never want to see that happen. Besides as great those high end niches are, you don’t always need them to smell great. A good bottle of Invictus can lift up your mood right?! 🤣 Joking aside, I hope you get your mind set Eugene. Thanks for sharing ✌🏻 And keep bringing us uncompromised fragrance reviews 😊
I have to chuckle at the fact that the whole time you are discussing this perfume addiction you are clutching on to a bottle of perfume! What does that mean?!!! Thank you for posting this video and for being forthright about the effect it has on your family. I try to remember that a passion is good (for me). But, as with paintings and other works of art, I don’t need to OWN it to appreciate it. Happy Birthday, Maria!!!!
Good on you for posting this. I’m in a similar boat but have finally slowed the spending/hoarding train down. I’m not banning purchases but I’ve reduced them greatly and am in the process of organizing and enjoying what I have. I won’t beat myself up making several purchases a year considering I don’t spend much on clothes or going out and I don’t smoke or drink but this hobby can become a slippery slope real fast and addictive behavior can get the best of us.
yes, that's true addiction, driven by dopamine, the "chase" pleasure hormone. your therapist shouldn't be surprised. perfume, porn / sex, ... the SAME thing (chemically in your brain = drug).
Im glad you have brought this up..I have noticed the past few reviews as "we" talked about recently that they were angry/terse etc...I knew you were coming forward w/some new thoughts. I had mentioned that I have given up on frags for a bit now..I want to use what i have and enjoy them. Sometimes "re visiting" them is just good..we find new or even familiar things about them that made us purchase them to begin with. Maybe you could go on a revisit journey w/us...that way you can still make your videos and we can appreciate your thoughts as well. I have been over the past months been thinking that your concern w/"overbuying" is a huge concern of spouses of many reviewers too.. Most of the people that i see here are i would from what i can surmise are middle class people who IMO spend way too much money on fragrances and probably have mis allocated funds from the "household" or even their own budgets............There are"guys" here who have hundreds of fragrances and how can that NOT make a dent on funding...........so...Thanks Eugene and Maria for your video exposing a situation in which i think many people fall prey to.............Sending much support..Bob
This really resonated with me, I cant go into specifics here. Great video to share and to help many others who are going through the same thing. It puts it all in perspective. :)
Great video. I don't think I am fully in addiction phase myself (then again what addict ever admits that in the throes of it) but I am actively cutting back on purchases. I think for me its more of a case of what more can I buy? I have great frags in every category now....but it's cost some money to get there that's for sure. Nothing I can't afford but still. Good on you for facing it, and for putting it on film to help others. Your wife is a smart and beautiful woman and very supportive, you are very lucky to have her help you with this.
Totally hits very close to home. To make my situation bad too is it’s not JUST perfume unfortunately, it’s spending money on whatever I find interesting at the time and right now it’s buying pocket knives. As soon as I buy the one I love, I go straight back to the internet and automatically start to research and find the new must have, without even enjoying my latest purchase. It’s the chase and needing what I don’t have. Always thinking there is a better version out there that I don’t own yet. I go through these phases constantly and they usually last for about a year or two per item. I would love to see you create a schedule with your family that is your time together and, then have your dedicated separate time for your internet.
Same with me. I've always been a shop a holic. Part of it is the thrill of the chase. Part is the thrill of getting a good deal. Part is rewarding myself. But part is filling a hole, that will never be filled with "things". It's been many different things over the years. But I'll buy more and more until I switch to the new thing. I do love more than just buying perfume though. Smelling scents does help my moods. I love studying and learning about perfumes. I could quit buying perfume (maybe). But it wouldn't be long til I'm buying something else. For me... I always say I'm grateful I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol. It could be worse!
BettyXO yes it is so much better imo that the addiction is not hard drugs or heavy alcohol drinking. You are right when you say it could be worse. Much worse
Amazing and brave video. I am sure a lot of people can relate to this. Kudos to your wife for being as understanding and supportive during this journey. Happy birthday Maria!
Wicked video brother. Really hit home this time. I've started slowing down as of new year. And Happy Birthday Maria, you are a good woman to be standing by him. ✌️
Great video. This struggle is real and I can completely relate. Best of luck on your journey. I hope you will make more videos like this. It’s a needed topic.
Love the candor and intelligence in this dialogue. Maria is very inspiring, and she must be an excellent coach. She certainly sparked a desire to examine my own perfume obsession and the acquisition aspect, which has been making me more uncomfortable rather than relaxed and content. Thank you both for the helpful and thoughtful discussion. P.S. I come from a similar background as Maria and totally understand the "full fridge" syndrome.
I tackled various types of friendly addictions and still do the one thing I constantly try to balance is my addiction to shopping (either food, clothes, perfumes or even gifts -yes I used to buy gifts for others excessively just because it made feel good.. I went through a journey of understanding why each addiction happens and why every while something new comes up that I have to work on it all over again and understand where is the key to balance it then move on. I can totally relate, and the good news is that when you know how to balance this kind of habits/addictions you will still enjoy doing it but with moderation, and you will somehow get that from those close to you.. One last thing, you have a gem of a wife .. Such a strong, wise and supportive woman.
Great video you two! Eugene what I have done and what I think will work for you is to pick a number and keep your collection within those constraints. For me I picked 100, so if I want a new fragrance, I need to sell one first. It is a great system and forces you to only have fragrances you actually really like. Plus the micro managing of your smaller collection is a hobby in and of itself. So my advice is to pick a number that works for you and that will force you to sell some of the ones you don’t like. Simple easy plan and it works.
