Faculty Experts: Catherine Salmon-The psychology of middle children and birth order 

The worst thing about being middle child is that many of my friends where either youngest or oldest and just couldn’t understand me

She described me so well, I'm actually crying.

Traits of the middle child: 1-good negotiators 2- trailblazers and very open to experience 3-Higher level of empathy 4-the justice seeker 5- independent and self sufficient

She actually read me like a book we middle children are the best

I was the baby until the third child came along. She died when she was a baby and my mother was depressed my entire childhood. Then my mother got pregnant again, six years after the death of the third child. I grew up very confused, alone and just realized, in my 40’s that I had an unhappy childhood.

I’m a middle child and my whole life my parents said I should become a lawyer because of how much negotiated/argued

I am a mom of 3 girls . I worry the most about my middle daughter. Im willing to do anything for my childern to feel special. Im trying a different approach to spend specific time just with her to feel just as special.Thank you for this video

Middle child with an an avoidant attachment style. I just deal with my personal issues by myself. My older and younger brothers took up much of mom’s time and attention and I was left to just deal with stuff on my own. Mom never reach out to me or asked me how I was doing. Heck, she doesn’t even know what my favorite music, movies or TV shows are. 😢

As a middle child I was actually very close to both my parents but my home life was quite somewhat dysfunctional in my teen years when my parents separated and I was the one trying to be the diplomat in a chaotic household. It indeed affected my life til now.

Now that's a description 👍👍👍. Other videos were just describing us as the failures😒

I have read your book and it made me understand a lot in a crisis period. Also, Self awareness changed all and the self-esteem thing that I have to work on was brought to the light.

As a law enforcement officer and middle born it makes sense. Risk taking, negotiating, and justice seeking. 🧐

I’m the middle child when I was a kid I wasn’t sociable because I was too dumb to talk to pears at school, some people even judged me for not speaking, and I didn’t easily get friends in elementary school due to my lack of communication. By the time I was in high school in grade 9, I started to talk to my friends that I got in my science class, this all started after I had a crush on a boy in English class. That’s when I really wanted friends and talking to anybody, the more I talk the more friends and people I earned. But the boy that I mentioned that I had crush on, sadly he didn’t like me though, so I completely forgot about him and move on. But lucky news was that there was a another boy that became friends with me, he helped me. I got a friend when I was in elementary school, when I first came to her house , I was 9 at that time I was too shy to talked to her. Now I’m in high school, I met her again when I was in grade 10 after Covid. Me and my friend did fun things together. Now I’m in grade 11, I have another story to tell you, I had a crush on a boy from Ukraine but my heart felt a bit tempted but I sit still and listen to kpop to not make it obvious. Also one more story to tell you, when I was in grade 8, I had a crush on a boy from South Korea but I didn’t know him as much. I had lot of help at home and at school.

Wow ! I am definitely a negotiator. I learn about what people want and then try to make a deal with them, that serves both of us ! I am always told that I'm a justice seeker ! I want things to be fair and my sibs dont understand.

Yep, this described me to a T. Kind of shocking, I hadn't realized that my position on the birth order had such a huge effect on my personality.

In a dysfunctional family ,alcoholic emotional abuse the middle child syndrome is excaserbated 10 fold having an older sister and younger brother me being the oldest son . Sister being largely left to her bedroom and younger brother taken with mother to the battered wife's refuge and me stuck in the middle taking the brunt of my father's rages it took me 40 years to work out I had a colourful upbringing now at 55 I feel more comfortable in my skin its took a lot of work I cant recommend gabour mate enough for his work on child trauma

Isn’t it so terrible that we need to make business negotiations with our parents?

I'm a middle child and I was given nothing. My older brother and younger sister got everything. it ruined my life

Is negotiating similar as compromising? Im not good with negotiating but im very good with compromising to the point of sacrificing myself

Everything my fault in the family 🤷‍♂️

I had an interesting experience growing up as the middle child where I had a very stereotypical experience up until my older brother enlisted in the navy and left. I suddenly became the older kid in the family in high school and a little after. Kind of a strange flip and with my older brother gone so much it feels like I'm the older brother in the family and my older brother has moved on, detaching himself from the family dynamic

I m a middle child. She described very well. I have two best friends and we three besties are Middle child 😊😊😊

Being the middle child makes you funny. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of comedians are the middle child. I think being the middle child can give you a great sense of humour cause you can think outside the box and look at things in a humourous and off-kilter way. Growing up with less clearly defined expectations as your other siblings probably makes a lot of middle children the funny one in the family. 😁

She’s nailed it

I wish there was a video that could help me. I'm a middle child, but I can't relate with most videos about middle children. Hear me out. My younger sister only arrived when I was almost 4 years old. So for nearly 4 years, I was coddled. I had a grandma who clearly favored me. And, tho my parents also said they love their kids equally, I always felt that I was the favored child. That is, until my youngest sister arrived. My parents always made my older sister, who's just 9 months older than me (I'm a premature baby), do all the house work and take responsibilities. I was sickly so my parents still didn't give me as much tasks. But I can't understand myself. I've always been jealous when my younger sister came. I remember the first night with her at our house. I used to sleep between my parents, then one day, I can't anymore because of my little sister. I didn't want to feel jealous... Or hurt, but I did. And I thew a tantrum (more like cross my arms and made a pouty face). I felt like I was being replaced. I needed a hug. But my parents didn't really notice. I was obviously showing that I felt hurt but my mom just left me in the room. I still remember crying that night. It's something I didn't overcome until I turned 15. I admit I was a very toxic sister. And envy is something I struggled with my whole life. Not just toward family members. But when I meet people. I turned off social media for a time. I used to compulsively ruminate over how other people has it better than me. Is this normal for some middle children? Here's my thoughts... (?) but when I was young... I really knew I was favored. There was clear favoritism. I mentioned my grandma. She was the one who made her favoritism obvious. She used to make me dolls my older sister was clearly left out. I remember my older sister accidentally dropping my doll, and my grandma spanked her and told her that she's not pretty compared to me. My grandma never liked my dad and I think she misplaced her anger. I guess... Maybe my parents tried to make us feel equal. But, because of my experience with my grandma, I was very competetive/attention-seeking/paranoid. I knew that's it's possible to get the short end of the stick... And I kept worrying about losing favor. My parents still never lets my younger sister do any house chores tho... And I still remember being their.. Kind of apple of their eye. I miss it. But I guess I'll never get the kind of treatment youngest family members get. My parent transferred houses when I was 7 or 8.. Away from my grandma. They probably did it to protect my older sister. But it hurt me so much because I felt someone who really cared for me was taken from me. My grades went down. My parents really supporter my younger sister. I used to be first honor when my grandma was with us. I didn't get anything special when I graduated. My younger sister had alot of rewards. I'm done feeling sad for myself and I want to stop attention seeking. I can't find any video helping anyone get over their parents. I want to stop expecting. I want to rely on myself but I'm still attached. How can I stop caring?

its crazy how my whole life was just explained in 5 mins

I'm a middle child to 2 earth sings mum virgo, dad taurus and my oldest brother and my youngest sister are both LEOS while I'm a libra.

Ya I know right

the justice portion is on point.

I'm definitely more empathetic. I wish I was outgoing

My dad is the oldest, and my mom is the youngest - from their families - so being the middle is the worst! it’s like have two sets of siblings! 😭😋

#relatable

Wow that is o accurate

Being in the middle feels like you don’t exist when actually you do. For example Korea is sadly overlook by some people if it compare to Japan and China. Which makes Korea feel like it’s stuck in the middle or is a sandwich between Japan and China. Korea will count as a certified middle child (not to offend anybody who’s Korean).

I'm actually crying rn

Who is the hated/ or the middle child , pls be a good parent pls:(

She just explained my entire family dinamic in a nutshell

Only you understand me

I’m crying 😭

The only thing I know is that I'm not needed😔🥲 they're happy without me anyway.

😭😭😭 I can’t sleep because my mum is stressing me out 😭 I hate the fact that I’m the middle child

I wish I was better at negotiating but I'm doing good enough

My big sis is about to go to college and my little bro has autism ,this shit sucks

I think im in the worste position of the middle child because im the 2nd middle child out of 4 and the first middle child is a girl, the youngest is a girl and the oldest is a boy.

👍😭

I wish this was actually true for all middle children. Seems like star signs and mbti but even _more_ generalized.

Here all the middle children come for answers

in my experience and those I know, the eldest is the rebellious risk taker.

Middle child is a born Christian Other children behave on the urge of their wants and needs (born egoists), middle child put their wants ahead of his/her own. However, real world is far away from the ideas of Christianity, and in adult life middle children may have problems because of this, they have to understand that people and even some of their own their brothers and sisters just doesn't care, so instead of negotiating you have to learn how to be an egoistic person, act on your own needs and urges, fight instead of negotiating

This is so painful

Yeah let's call it a higher grade of negotiation.....not manipulation, certainly not

Make everybody in the middle feel equal

No self esteem ❤

I’m a middle child but I don’t resonate lol

Middle child here,I have 0 negotiation skills. Don't think of my parents as friends. 0 self steam. Cant do anything right.🤗No microsoft owner.

He was bad as hell 🎉still is very narcissistic ❤

Oh please stop pointing "Donald Trump" all the time. I hate that example. Can't you find a better person? Is that all you have for Middle Child? What about all other millions of popular people over the years. Oh I see they are either first born or last child. These very few examples you have, shows they are outliers.

Donald Trump-the non elitist and best president we’ve had in years. He’s for the little guy believe or not because the media used to love him. Now they hate his guts because he’s not elitist, a war monger, and a republican. Didn’t know he was a middle child. Makes sense

Shouldn't they learn to forgive us parents for what the perceive as our short comings instead of berating us for the rest of our lives, even after we apologize???

this is nonsense. this can be said of anyone