Fearful Symmetry | Fantasy High: Sophomore Year | Ep. 18 

Season 1: lmao the viceprincipal is a dragon Season 2: 😐

Brennan said "what are your fears?" Followed by "Cool story, this is what they actually are."

I love that whenever someone is missing, Brennan chooses to psychologically torture his players

I love Adaine's line: "I guess I keep on fighting because fighting is scarier than giving up." It's kind of reminiscent of "Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder."

The bad kids went to literal hell, and a spooky forest was infinitely worse

One of my greatest joys in life is Brennan playing either Baron or Telemaine and just saying words and names.

"we are scared and we're coming for kristen, wE ARE SCARED AND WE'RE COMING FOR KRISTEN!"

There's so many beautiful things here, but I want to draw attention to how Brennan finally got his revenge for Sexy Rat and Hilda Hilda and I love it

“Riz bravely takes a nap.” Love it.

1:00:14 I FEEL LIKE WE GLOSSED OVER THE “No one wants to hear the bass play solo” AND IM NOT STANDING FOR IT

everyone here experiencing their most genuine, saddest most profoundly distressing fears meanwhile fabian sits in his moment of irrelevance only for brennan to pull out the most un-fucking-hinged manifestations of fabian's other fears bc fabian was just chilling sends me

46:25 "The years will go by, and everyone will find someone that matters more to them than you." this hits right in the aroace anxiety

That transition from the sphinx to "I'M GONNA SHIT IN THAT MOUTH" God Brennan is fantastic

Man that PSA at the beginning about the pandemic made it hit hard just how long ago that was. Feels like it shouldn’t have been more than a year ago, it’s been nearly four years…

kristen: dies for getting a freakin NAT 20

"It's Gorgug, keep going" I LIKE YOUR WORDS MAGIC MAN, IN THE SENSE THAT THEY MAKE ME CRY

Nothing says 'teenage barbarian' like "So you want to smash this wall with your axe, the entire building now needs a saving throw"

the part with figs and aydas fears mirroring each other and reaffirming their love for each other fucking destroyed me

This episode is INCREDIBLE, literally so good. It's genuinely scary, but the fact that some of their fears manifested as "letting someone shit in your mouth" and "taking a nap" is just funny and amazing. Can't believe it's just two more episodes, I cannot wait for the ending and also Junior year is coming, I am so excited!

Siobhan and Lou's reactions of disgust when Brennan makes Barron's voice were so genuine

I didn't expect the sexy rats return, but OMG.

"Charisma can make a good first impression but not a lasting one" oh boy this is gonna be a long episode

i posted something like this on the original video when i watched this a year ago, but here it is again: as an aroace person, riz's fears about his friends finding people they care about more than him and then subsequently choosing to leave him behind really hit home. aromantic and asexual representation is so limited in media, and having these feelings be voiced by brennan and brian was so validating.

"What is expectation without love, that's what you've given me." Wheeew that line smacks.

“The years will go by and everyone you love will find someone that means more to them than you.” Jesus christ

“It’s scarier to keep fighting than it is to give up”, because of the anxiety from the idea that no matter how hard you fight it’ll still end horribly for you and all your efforts would be in vain and you’d be worse off by your own hands. That part was so deep. Because giving up is taking control of the situation, knowing how it’ll end. But to fight and throw your efforts before the whims of fate, not knowing what could come. Man that hit. This whole episode is wild

Dude seriously the bit where Addine is talking to her self about her having a trait that’s easy to abandon absolutely broke me

2:05:10 it has been very difficult to convince people to watch 50+ hours of DnD just to have the context to feel all the feelings of Ayda's dreams

2:10:18 This section is one of the most underrated of the entire D20. Both Brennan's imagery and Siobhan's empathy and emotional maturity birthed one of the most beautiful scene of fiction I've ever seen. The image of an old sad Adaine all in black all alone... And Siobhan's decision to still want to understand and help what was only an illusion. PS : Fck I'm crying again...

Brennan is so damn good at knowing the voice of every NPC if I ever miss who is speaking I just immediately recognize who it is based off the voice! ALL FROM ONE MAN

Everyone else: existential dread Fabian: doesn’t want a raggedy pirate to 💩 in his mouth

Brennan said a teaspoon of the dusk moss was enough for a whole day, they did a multi pound brick of it

30:52 If your friends wouldn't take some drugs and intentionally have a bad trip to save you from a nightmare forest, are they really your friends?

58:53 Cracking up that everyone else's response to "what's your character's greatest fear" is like "oh gosh I don't know...this thing I think?" and for Fig, Emily just straight up gives a whole list XD

I just love Lou's reactions to most of the scary stuff, and how you can see him squirming almost constantly during all of it.

I almost wish Fabian’s fear was that this new version of him would crumble again like his old self did

and yet another episode where Brennan makes sure he is the topic of conversation between me an my therapist, thanks for the emotional scars

Fabians worst fears are all the gags the gang did just to make his role play that much more difficult

for the curse of the tree I feel like gilear truly could have been the chosen one, the one to guide them all

1:28:48 - 1:47:55 - 1:56:37 i return back to these moments Often because they're SO fucking funny. throwing back the players shenanigans and running gags back at them at full force. it's so good.

fantasy high is more important that my English essay right? Edit: detention :/

Siobhan is wonderful, I hope she didn't have to emote something from her own life but I did remember what it felt like when she wondered who was responsable for feeling so unworthy of being loved by her own family, still crying, good stuff.

The mirroring fears/hopes of Ayda and Fig had me crying big ol tears. And then Adine's scene with her older self, taking the time to talk to and encourage someone she wasn't even sure was real, got me again.

So did Brennan have to pay for everyone's therapy or did Dropout cover it?

My god, Lou’s performance of Fabian just gets better all the time. I absolutely lost it when he just fled in terror from Chungledown Bim!! And then resigning himself to the rat and Bim 😂😂😂😂

Romænce pärtner has me dead

(spoiler for about 1:48:00ish) the second that Brennan said "an old woman" I fucking knew it was Hilda Hilda and I have never been so excited to experience a nightmare

Ah yes, Brennan psychologically torturing his players. Ya love to see it!

1:01:40 Remember when this was fun? Remember when people were flying down ropes? 😂😂😂

Fabian's fears were both terrifying and hilarious in a twisted way. I love how quick Brennan is at improvising these things.

If RU-vid had awards for acting and/or storytelling, this episode would win.

Ah, what a fantastic development, a revolutionary and brave form of group therapy. A DM that knows the players and when and how they lie, but more than that, knows when they’re lying to themselves and is capable of telling their story by guiding them still.

I live for Murph and Lou's discomfort when Baron show up 😂😂😂😂

I literally have planned my doctoral thesis with what was done here in regards to addressing trauma and role play intervention ❤

"What is expectation without love? That's what you've given me!"

Watched this season over this last summer, and holy shit everyone is so insanely good at playing their characters. And BRENNNAN is fking insane at his world building and story writing. Cannot wait for season 3, hoot growl!

I always find myself wondering how much of each character is self insert. I haven't wondered this as hard in the past as I do watching this video.

This episode was fucking terrifying, but I can not ever explain or express the feelings I felt during the chungledown bim and sexy rat bit. I was like, panic laughing while regular cackling, so on edge from everything but also it’s so ridiculously funny to imagine, and Lou’s reactions were pure gold. I have tears in my eyes.

It's so fucking funny how Fabian's fears are just . . . Lou's fears. Anyways.

34:08 the terror on brennan's face when adine decides to leave her anxiety meds

oh god, when Emily starts to cry at about 2:06:40, I FEEL my heart breaking... I also am so touched by Murph going between listening to Brennen and looking to Emily, like he's checking up on her 😭😭 this whole episode, man.

I am watching this at almost 5 AM. This is the most unsettled I’ve been in my entire life I am chilled to the bone and I should not have watched this before trying to sleep

waaah Gorgug and Fabian hugging 😭😭😭

1:49:39 it's kinda sad knowing that Ally won't get to sit on the chair 😢

The line "I don't know why I was so easily discarded" sliced through me. I started sobbing and couldn't stop myself. Untill Adaine said to "Do you not see how good I am?" It shifted my reality for the positive. The person that wallows in their misery and refuses for decades to evolve out of it pulled me in too. All my love and dedication couldn't save them, it just made me go deeper into that selfpity mud trying to get them out. It breaks my heart letting them go. It makes me so sad and so desperate to try over and over again. But enough is enough. All my dedication, love, understanding and care aren't ever going to be enough. I can't pull them out if they do not want to be pulled out. And I refuse to live by wallowing in the mud, when I can fly to the highest highs and dive to the deepest depths. Just because that mud is familiar, doesn't mean it's actually comforting. I am letting go. Forever.

This has got to be my favorite episode. That was intense. Brennan was having a field day

why did gorgug and fabian rerolling Int and Wis affect me so much?? like full frying rn dude

Siobhan part at the end was incredible, and then you remember its all improv. whole episode was amazing.

i started sobbing as soon as i saw emily tearing up

Not rewatching this as it publicly gets uploaded, but popping in to say this is a D20 GOAT Episode. Can't wait for Junior Year

highlight 2:52 oh no its green again 9:53 phantasmal force yes! 15:12 bardy boys origins!!! 17:23 bababooeybababooey 20:42 ah yes. this is another use of the identify spell 21:33 as long as you investigate and have a song in your heart youre a bardy boy 22:44 no ri- no, the ball 25:52 I DONT wANT THESE 30:09 it will certainly expedite things! 30:50 i think for kristen we have to take the drugs 31:31 baby, you actually have a rly important role to play: keep being you! 33:04 i dart off into the forest 35:05 we are scared and we're coming for kristen! 40:07 (so many dice rattling) 40:54 thats what i used to do to catch the bus 42:18 return of the romænce pärtner 43:00 just....excellent baron accent moment 44:20 aroace fear: start 48:03 baron saying "f'threthreal" 49:45 i admit there might be something wrong with me 50:00 let's go down the line whats everyone afraid of? 50:37 ITS OK TO FUCKIN SNACK 50:48 what gorgug is afraid of 54:38 what adaine is afraid of 58:58 what fig is afraid of 1:00:11 no one wants to hear the bass play solo :( 1:01:44 "people were flying around on ropes" that was literally the worst day of fabian's life lol and its the first thing that lou thinks of for like. fun things theyve done this season. 1:03:16 what fabian is afraid of 1:09:57 babian? 1:11:07 if its placid, how is there a fountain in it? placid = flat and undisturbed 1:19:24 its gorgug keep going - ICONIC 1:20:51 weird dnd tangent: i wonder if the reason the sphinx is a man here instead of a woman (as is generally the case in greek myth) is bc in dnd 5e an androsphinx (male sphinx) is many challenge ratings higher than a gynosphinx (female sphinx), so brennan associates them with higher degrees of danger, or if its nothing (much more probable). just a fun lil fact that has been rattling around my mind for years that i have to tell people about like that's bonkers right? thats full fantasy sexism. 1:23:19 gorgug rolling so so so close to the DC (he has a minus one, so both of those 19s were fucking nat 20s) and only failing bc of the disadvantage the sphinx is imposing is the dice telling a story and i love it 1:25:15 a true thing about gorgug's life 1:28:00 he said that the DC was lowered to 15 by hearing the true thing, and he rolls a 16 and an 11 here. so, in every roll so far, the higher roll passed the DC but the disadvantage made him take the lower one. im foaming at the mouth at the story the dice tell. 1:28:48 chungledown bim 0.0 1:30:40 sexy rat 0.0 1:31:55 adaine is braver than any US marine 1:36:20 "it's scarier to keep fighting than it is to give up" jesus siobhan killin me out here 1:37:01 "dressed like a carnival barker is biz glitterdew" the scariest fucking thing i can think of 1:41:47 little shrimp!!! 1:42:47 is.....my greatest fear sleeping on the job??? god im so lame 1:45:19 don't worry you've been at a non-sexual adult sleepover* 1:48:00 THE PRESTIGE (hilda hilda) 1:48:55 & 1:49:30 lou's chair breaks & he switches with ally's empty chair 1:50:52 i hope she finds something that i didnt know was there (figayda :):):) ) 1:55:58 im a dumbass. eat me, you stupid bug 1:56:52 fabian, making the ultimate sacrifice. 1:59:00 this is the beautiful intimate moment of accepting and facing fear and overcoming it for fabian and i love it and it doesnt get enough credit bc the whole fuck and shit and fuck moment is both hilarious and mechanically the thing that sends the pulse of hope 2:00:35 YES THE HUG 2:03:05 you know what that is? growth 2:04:05 ok at least baby's safe 2:04:50 even if youre the glamorous version of me you still have a fucking crush on ayda! 2:05:30 what ayda is afraid of 2:06:37 the you that appears in her life is not the illusion. it is the real you. (im fucking sobbing) 2:07:28 the fact that i have not found such a quality in myself doesn't mean figueroth could not find something in me worthwhile (figayda!!!!!!!!) 2:08:38 i sit down and write the song "she likes me for me" 2:13:14 i do not know why i was so easy to discard (OOF) 2:26:32 cw: angwyn is fucking horrifying 2:27:34 is this what happens every night for people who sleep with blankets??!?!!!! *if you haven't seen neverafter just ignore this one

2:07:52 Emily actually crying at Brennan's storytelling for Ayda is just... *chef's kiss*

I’m 30 minutes in and the decisions they’re making are so bad but make sm sense right now. Incredible. Incredible.

In my opinion, this is one of best episodes in D20!!

1:57:07 LOU WILSON, THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!! NO ONE IS DOING IT LIKE LOU!!!

“Why was I so easy to discard” ouch…

I'm so hyped for this HOOT GROWL! HOOT GROWL!

The music when they use identity is amazing. The best addition to the immersion. Idk if Brennan controls it or they edit it but it's the best move ever.

I am waiting for the return of Chungle-Down Bim

I had to walk away from this episode several times. It's just so heavy.

I love that Riz is ace (most likely aroace). It feels so good to have rep like that, even if the character doesn't have the words for it.

"i hope she finds something that i didnt know was there" wOW that hit right thru the chest jesus

“The years will go by, and everyone will find someone who matters to them more than you.” THANKS, Brennan. that didn’t hurt at all

I think what I love most about the portrayal of Riz's fear of being alone is when he's still not put words to his feelings. The terror of being alone was something I felt before I realised I am aro-ace. I saw everyone around me dating in school and uni; and I knew that my parents only saw their friends a few times a year due to work and family. That fear that I'd be forgotten and alone made me desperate to find a partner, blocking out all the confusion about what I'd do in a relationship and the way that I wouldn't feel comfortable being physically intimate. Once I finally came to terms with being aro-ace, the pressure gradually disappeared without me noticing. I stopped disliking my body and personality so much because I wasn't blaming them for being unsuccessful romantically. I started to just enjoy the time I have with people now, rather overthinking the potential futures.

This was a bad episode to listen to while putting on makeup …absolutely worth it

49:55 in, "let's go down the line, what's everyone afraid of"

PFFFF.... wow This thing.. holy shit Brennan. I have no clue what level of things for this show you guys have written and made a story for beforehand, but this one feels like you took off to a whole new level yourself. This was INSANE! And to repeat others. The mix of horrors and just gag replays to erlier story xD incredible. I laughed, I cried, I had goosebumps and chills and loved all of this. Holy shit man. Just holy shit!

"The years will go by, and *everyone* will find someone that matters more to them than *you*." Genuinely my number 1 fear in college, while figuring out my asexuality. I'm in my 30's now and it still rears its ugly head more often than I'd prefer

Welcome to the AHS portion of DnD Fantasy High. Please keep your screams to a minimum and remember to throw away your used tissues when exiting the ride. Thank you, and have a terrible time! 🥲

This episode just reminded me that, without a doubt, Baron is my favorite NPC I’ve encountered in ANY Actual Play show I’ve ever watched. So hilariously creepy.

such delightfully terrifying storytelling in this one, i had goosebumps through most of it! great job to everyone!

Episode 18: in which Fabian becomes the most powerful of power bottoms

So, so much of this is so good- but the bit that had me absolutely dying was Adaine with her elder self. Absolutely wept. Adore the fact that Brennan had them improve their scores based on their character growth! Loved that mechanical bit! Just so, so good, the whole thing. Also… It’s Gorgug, keep going, had me tearing up so hard!

I’m fine, this is great. I’m not emotionally conflicted and I’m not broken because while still in the first hour. THIS IS FINE. /s

I just love the moments when Lou is so flabbergasted and panicked he starts like 10 sentences in 6 seconds

"I have to let someone shit in my mouth, and you just have to take a nap?" Is such a wildly hilarious line.

god the energy this session is soooo tense. really a testament to brennan’s skill as a dm, i can feel the anxiety of the PLAYERS through the screen

fabian getting chungle down bim and a sexy rat is Halarius.

Christ ok the 2:10:00 section where adaine talks to her illusionary older self makes me go full on weeping. Even Siobhan starts tearing a little because it’s such an easy thing to come to as a solution when you have experienced having loving parents or a full childhood, but when that isnt there, how hard is it to find love again? Especially after you lose those who brought love into your life? How hard is it to keep on loving when it feels like it wont be worth it again? Every time. Every time it’s worth it. The scene after where her mother acts like it’s all Adaine’s fault for not being part of the family and she finally gets to stand up for herself is amazing

1:25:27 that was the one thing right? the pause there indicates a full stop. One full thing about Gorgug's life was said yep don't hurt the best wizard of the world