My gosh, you have a halo. The enlightenment of Richard 1. Authenticity 2. Integrity 3. Reciprocity 4. Humility 5. Balance Anti List 1. Cruelty 2. Dishonesty 3. Avoidant 4. Entitlement 5. Lazy No social media, no FB, no Instagram, none of that.
I'm only 40 minutes in, but really loving it so far. Shows me how far I've come after watching your videos for the last couple years. You're a godsend, Richard.
Finding your purpose and getting your self in order (Live Q and A) 7 guiding steps for finding your purpose: 1:25 1) Know who you are in better degree. Finding you values and boundaries. 7:05 2) Look where you've been conditioned. Deconstruction of brainwashing. 10:18 3) Knowing by living/being your purpose. Courage to have a purpose. Direction of life, setting intentions. 16:01 4) Focus on your direction of live. Not setting an intention is still an intention. 22:54 5) Unfulfilled value and purpose destroys if not brought out/unpacked. 27:21 6) Shadow work. 36:04 Integration of shadow is like putting bloodflow to numb and ugly parts of the self. 37:36 7) Strong sense of self. Shrinking self as evasion response to fear. Becoming visible. Getting out of cave. QUESTIONS: 45:31 What's Richard's view on internal family systems? 45:48 Is setting core values an another way to regulate emotions? 48:31 On the "junk values" of self-indulgence and narcissism instead of courage and reason. 50:02 Did you progress through whadow work faster when alone or when assisted by another person? 51:20 How is neurosis related to internalising an idea put around people that "life happens to you and you don't have a say"? 53:26 How can love and humour be values? 55:40 How to handle the system's eroding, persistent and tiring pushback? 59:56 Is there a relationship we can look for between values and anti-values? 1:02:01 Is online dating killing romance? 1:06:00 Have Richard studied the neuroscience behind healing trauma? And the how it applies to behavioral techniques to healing? 1:10:54 What aside from emotinal literacy efficiency I'm already doing can I model for my son to help him eventually grow into whole healthy adult? 1:15:34 Is there a key difference between all the dysfunctional people that have still managed to find partners and those of us who can't. 1:26:28 About food addiction. 1:31:09 Do Richard think that similar value systems is the true basis for lasting healthy relationships? 1:32:46 What do Richard think about CPTSD and childhood chronic illness? 1:34:00 Is it normal/ok to have goals and intentions changing daily? 1:34:42 How to get away from a narcissist ex that is extremely tech savvy without him knowing what you are planning? 1:35:32 Idea/tip on how to get over parentification? 1:36:47 If there's a lot of unprocessed emotion (sorrow, anger, resentment etc) in the body, how to effectively release them? 1:37:56 Can we misclassify the abusive behaviour of our parents as "normal"? 1:39:00 Do women have shadows? 1:39:27 How do you honor the feeling you come across when doing shadow work? I find myself thinking I'm just wallowing in self pity. 1:41:14 What role does gratitude take in increasing our opportunities for individuation? 1:42:22 What is the bast way to self-parenting? How do I start? I want to change I just need direction on how to start? 1:44:00 How to find like valued people/new friends once you have sorted yourelf out? Any tips?
I took sat iny chair for years depressed after being abandoned and left with my phone and a wifi connection to pull myself out of a hole I was put in. I definitely know what you've felt. Things began to look up for me once I left that place. Had too much bad vibes in it. Change of scenery. Was actually sad to even think about bc so much time energy and money invested in it just to lose it. Finally got to a point where I was looking forward to leaving. Couldn't count the days fast enough. The new place is so much better than the past place. Don't do like me and stay there in an unkept place and in depression. It creates a cycle. The condition of the room reflects what u feel inside. Unkept means YOU'RE unkept. In many ways may I add. A kept room affects your mood by the way. Get rid of anything that remind you of things. Those keep u stuck. Sometimes LITERALLY like it did me. Every time u turn around ur reminded of things. Not good. New place new things push that stuff away from u and u can keep ur head above water. Then it lifts. This is assuming there's nothing clinical about the condition that you're born with. I also hope you're well man. It's been a year since u posted this
This video is one of the most important I've come across. Thank you Richard. As an older person, I realize I have so much more work ahead of me.... which is quite daunting when you're burned out and feel like you're just existing.
Food was my survival tool.......i had to nurture myself as a toddler, food and sleep....was what got me through childhood, I was way overweight by grade school and going into 9th grade i was 5'1" and weighed 178 Went on crash diet lost 30 but still struggle with being ok with eating to "adult myself" now I am 60 and so grateful that Richard is here and has such a caring soul. Thank you Richard 🥰🤗🤗❤ As a note: i soon discovered drugs and alcohol about the age of 15.......but for the Hand of God I would be dead, I was able to get clean and sober, been 25 years, gratitude beyond measure.
I spent a delightful and agonizing morning with a beautiful, intelligent man today. :) this recording was thick with growth inducing, rough honesty and hard-earned wisdom. I thank you for this. Richard, notice how you focus on time limits, luv. We are in no hurry. Excellence takes its time.
You know I'm getting my WHY mapped out, a senior here..it's worth never giving up. Anyway I wanted to say if you're not in denial than there is no lockdown. PPL in denial can be led ....bcuz there mind is already in lockdown. What is worth sitting down for is the # of ppl in the world already so traumatized that they can be lied to in their face and deny it. My heart is grieving the pain and fear that they knew "what a piece of cake" it's like how Picasso knew his art was ugly and disturbing and laughing at how ppl described it otherwise. I have to tell myself everyday that just maybe if I stay out of denial it could possibly help this crippled world. My value s won't let me believe that I can't make a difference that counts
I can not tell you how much I appreciate learning from you. I have been a ghost for 40 years. Thank you for your personal journey so I can learn the way to grow myself
Richard - in addition to being able to translate deep intellectual content to ‘the masses’ (I of course include myself) by bringing it to life and dragging it onto the contemporary ‘stage’ - you have the unique quality of motivating me to actually DO something about my stuckness. Mostt of all though you seem to be able to properly make me laugh out loud with your wicked sense of humour, right at the point of personal enlightenment. It’s uniquely you - and you seriously might be the only person that can actually do that . Much admiration and appreciation for you and your humanity and Intellect, defiance and vulnerability. 😍
Jung, Freud, Zizek, Pete Walker, Johan Hari… synthesizing a lot of great knowledge and useful concepts. Thanks, Richard for keeping it interesting as always.
This 7 steps video is one of your best put together, which covers a lot if people are really willing to put in the (shadow) work. Very insightfull. Watched it twice and will watch it several more times. 🍋🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬🍋
This is life altering, lifesaving stuff. I have never before had the courage to look beyond the facade, which I now know was my own making. Hiding from reality and living in a childish state of false hope, really, is no way to live. Looking at the sad and ugly truth is truly gut wrenching and deeply painful. Overwhelming to the point of almost wanting to give up. But with each passing second I feel myself getting stronger in the midst of withstanding this pain. I feel different for the first time ever. Powerful and in control of my destiny. I feel the trajectory of my life changing. Can’t say enough how much I appreciate the truth being delivered so unfiltered and so raw. Thank you. Amazing healing work! 🙏🏻 🐬
No small task: deconstruct intergenerational trauma, childhood trauma, and unprocessed emotions (inner narratives) + brainwashing from politics, marketing, film/Disney, love, death, health, rights, responsibilities, life purpose, etc. (external narratives).
I'm highly unmotivated from the state of the world What's the point in doing anything when everything is falling apart and government is getting fascist I mean someone get me a gun I want out But I still love your content
Richard the 'Narcissist almost took me down for a final count!' Thank God, "this chapter is now permanently closed!" in my life! I have reached the point of NO RETURN! I am so happy that I have. Thank You, for your channel of Narcissism info! Wish me great success going forward! I am ready to begin my new life!
Richard you have to refer people to your courses more often. After completing your emotional intelligence course and hand mnemonic work I can say they are so valuable and people who come to your channel don’t know about them. I’m not saying to advertise constantly but if you don’t mention them most people don’t know! Please mention more often - you won’t sound like a hawker you will be helping people!
I like the new background image. It’s better than the spinning world which makes me dizzy. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with all of us. Been following you for a few years now and I’ve learned so much. I’m doing the #30DC and finding it very helpful in moving forward toward fulfilling my purpose.
Do you like fast and easy women? 😁🤣 Just kidding. My question is how come I am learning all this so late in life? It's somewhat of a rhetorical question.
✨ Thank you for sharing insight, learnings from experience and easy-to-follow guidance on topics that can feel overwhelmingly difficult to deal with. 🐬 🐙
@1:26 Re: Food Addiction - I've discovered here lately that deleting all nightshade plants from my diet has drastically reduced my emotional eating as well as eliminated my gut upsets that I chose to ignore or cheese & bread over. Within 3 days of omitting all nightshade plants (including potatoes) I felt noticeably better, within a month and a couple of lapses I knew that it was absolutely the nightshades. One of the lapses was a pack of cigarettes - nicotine plants are nightshades. The thing to remember when changing your diet is your gut has its own microbiome, and those little microbes are all fighting to live, too. When you alter your food intake, those microbes send signals along your gut's nervous system to your brain to eat this or don't eat that so they can survive. The story of most addictions is we take in toxins that make us just sick enough to take in that toxin again. (The story of alcohol is that your liver can barely process it, so it stays in your bloodstream to make you high.) The nightshades were functioning in my gut to make me feel a little woozy, a lot more emotional, and remember all those childhood spaghetti dinners and emotional potato chip/angry food & ciggy binges. I'm at 8 weeks now nightshade free and I've lost all desire to food binge, my emotional head space is sound (no ruminations + big fall in bitterness quotient), and I'm regulating my day activities with better persistence and energy. I haven't been sick in my gut in any way for 8 weeks, my digestion has become sound and perfect in performance and reliability. I've also slowly just quit eating cakes and sweets. Mostly I used sweet foods to pave over some of the stomach upsets, including that gnawing feeling of grief that certain memories would bring. Since my entire digestive tract isn't acting up or acting out, that little cake on the bakery shelf just doesn't have the appeal it once did. A large part of my nervous system (the gut) has become stable and quiet, so I don't have to feed it in order to placate it.
🐬 My porpoise was to listen to this live while grocery shopping and wearing a mask and trying to absorb it all while being brainwashed by marketing and trying desperately to avoid CAKE and VODKA! THANK YOU RICHARD GRANNON 🐬🐬🐬🐬
I left to cook dinner... at 09:30pm!!! That's considered normal now ain't it? Our President announced the 3rd wave of lockdown afterwards! ahhhh! (nervous breakdown!) 😂
Instead of going to flight to dating and food and wine.. Here I am confronting myself and it is scarry, I feel scared. On other half I feel like a fighter. It is like a autopsy of myself and my relationships... Thank you !
Day 2. Can this actually be a thing? The Fortress Course. I'm kind of functioning after days of shaking and panic. There's no way I'm quitting this. Even if I'm getting some of it wrong. Richard is beyond genius. I came back to this stuff thinking I was OK for 4 years. I wasn't. Thank you Richard and Pete Walker.
Thanks for the reminder of the Gnostic gospels. I used to study them and find answers in them. I havent studied Jung since grad school but shadow work without the hippy dippy stuff would be worth going back to. Shadow work sounds empowering.We can reject the narcissistic traits of the other but what is in our shadow? I certainly behaved like a narcissist for a time. I toyed with my drunken neighbors. It was easy because I was smarter and sober. I would bat them around and thwart them in their drunken scenarios. Not my finest hour. I made real range war enemies of them.It was not smart and it didnt serve me.It was a lovely old historic apartment building from the 1920, but they were 30 ft from me at all times, it was miserable and I should have just moved when it became clear they were personality disordered people and flaming drunks. Lessons learned.
I have one last thing to say. No romance is not dead. And wasn’t always dead. And why does romance have anything to do with being unrealistic. Is buying someone flowers cause you like them unrealistic. Also your point about people needing friction. Sorry I don’t agree friction keeps things spicy at times. But I think love and caring for someone is more important at maintaining something long term. The literal meaning behind the word romance might be fantasy. But romantic gestures themselves are very real. It’s a shame you think it’s a fantasy. But if you feel that way then fair enough. You have lived on earth longer then I have so you may know more about the dynamics between men and women then I do. At the same time. Who says my view is wrong either. I think relationships are a gentle balance of a lot of things. And I believe romance is one of the things lots of people need in a relationship but I think it depends on the individual. Some people find romantic gestures cringy. At the same time I think a lot of people say they don’t like romance because of a fear of never being in a Romantic relationship. I think it’s a mix of people genuinely not interested in it and people denying there own romantic sides. It’s like mustard you either like it or hate it or you simply don’t want to try it.
I love Richard… I usually have a hard time sitting through advice be he and Pierre just crack me up and I find myself actually engaged… he gets it, when you’ve taught crazies it makes you a special kind of person, I know I did the same thing for ten years….. I don’t think he realizes how many people he’s helping…
I love how you talked about Jung here. I myself always discarded people who were into Freud. Your opening to jungian principal inspired me to open to Freudian concepts. Awesome!
This was so poignant. My first of your videos. Grateful to find others further down the path of recovery, it really does inspire, to know that others have fought similar battles and triumphed, and to validate the struggles that we don't show to the vast majority of the world. 🐬
I will get to my secret special place WITHOUT any of your involvement! Apparently my exNarcissist/husband CAN'T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for any of his wrong doing's! I will NOT stand by and let your ex's use me as a doormat! Or, Abuse me!
Thanks for this Richard … I am watching more and more of your videos and feel much much better and I think that I am slowly getting to the point when I LL WAKE THE FUCK UP FINALLY ONCE AND FOR ALL ! Don’t wanna be like a jelly fish any longer!!!!! Thank you mate ! Keep doing what you’re doing! It helps !
So glad I've already unprogrammed from media, the controllers, religion, medicine, all the mainstream baloney. I've also found my purpose, a couple of them. I taught myself to paint and now sell my paintings. My other purpose is to heal myself and share with others how i did that. I don't like goals, they embrace the "I'll be happy when..." frame of mind, and that doesn't work. My happiness has to be in presence, not in reaching goals. I'm a human BEING, not a human DOING. I set intentions not goals.
"Holding junk values as real values" Junk values don't stick. They are wishy washy. When you set true and honest values, they stick. One is confusing and messy, the other is honest and straightforward.
Jung And FReud...ARE People not sick of their crap? You have a thinkiing mind.Why hand it to another?What is your thoughts upon this control of these 2 people?
Don't just pretend to be something. Be something. Carry your responsibility from words to practise. Otherwise you are just living in some fantasy world and lying to yourself and others too.
The way I self parented myself out of very very tough situation is anytime I would mess up/fuck up I would demonize and crack down on me so harshly. When I started self-parenting when I did something wrong or if I felt bad emotion I caressed myself like I am caressing my child and I would rub both my arm and whisper to me shhh....it's going to be ok. I understand why you feel the way you feel. It is ok to feel the feeling you are but do not act on it. Its ok to feel the way I feel. So basically I would try to be as kind as I could be to my inner child and slowly and gradually once she felt like she was heard enough and no longer completeled neglected did she get a bit happy and stopped throwing as much tantrum. I felt like I regained control over my entire self not just one part. My inner child was no longer was controlling me. I have done this for about a year now and I have my moment for sure here and there but my temper tantrum decreased by 80% over the year. Hopefully it helps.
😂 the cake … you kill me I resonated with you on so much of what you talked about if it was a conversation it would have been great I found myself blurting thing out 🐬 🐬🐬🐬🤪
This is brilliant because he spoke of my personality of live and let live with way to much objectivity and a desire to be a nice goy and allowing people to induce my desire to enable. The bad part is i have been hyper agreeable which is codependent...the passivity is unattractive and nega to be disrespected.the core is my christian upbringing and the turn the other cheek b s. Its not my truth though... honestly i hold resentment for others because when i help , i feel taken advantage of, he is right about parents teaching a child to put other people needs before my own. This is life saving.
LOL About 1: 25 minutes in. I am currently using my new watercolor paints and have been trying to draw the last couple days. I'm no artist, believe me. But I'm looking for an outlet to unburden myself from being solely on this planet to do "work" for others or myself. Just found it funny you mentioned art as I was struggling to get a brush hair out of the watercolor. And yes, to get back to one of your previous points, humor is a value for me. Lots of humor.
Darling❣️ I saw a video of you from some years ago and you did not look well 💘 Seeing you now and how good you look is very encouraging for me and inspiring as well. Besides that your videos have really helped me find my way out of the darkness I have found myself in in the recent years. Thank you ☺️
Just listening to this again for a second time. Incredible how our present reality in 2021 is exactly what you’re describing yet you could have easily have posted this in 2019.
Thank you Richard. Your humour and insight is reassuring as I go through some tough self exploration. Appreciate very much that you produce these videos for the world! Going to work on finding my porpoise. With dolphin love from Canada.
Lots of great stuff in here!!! I’m posting to speak to one thing, a correction of sorts. The reason the line in the gnostic gospel of Thomas isn’t in the Bible is because Jesus didn’t say it. The gnostic gospels were penned at a later date by shadow writers (not St. Thomas, in this case). This isn’t really contested; this is why it’s not in the Bible. What Jesus taught is quite different🙇🏻♀️.
The truth is we the humans still have no real clue who are we why are we here what's our purpose to being here and where are we headed and why....matrix? Reincarnation and lessons we all need to learn , the answer is indefinite... unfortunately
For the brave souls who do more shadow work than just watch this video... For those out there who really embrace that risk... I salute ya. This will get you zero kudos. And so many are so far gone. If you're still hanging on... looking in the mirror... Through all the shit in the world right now.... Damn.
