Floss / Gluten / Bad Classes - Campfire Stories 

Good news! The doctor said I don’t actually have a lactose intolerance! Hooray I can still have cheese!

Mike: "So you're fine. Just as long as you don't eat any bread." Zach: "Question." "What's your question, Zach?" "I ate bread." "...What?" "You told me to." "How. Much?" "I have done nothing but eat bread for three days."

“What’s 37+15?” “I don’t know, I’ll just type it on my phone.” “48, done already. Boom, done.” Little off but he was quick 😂😂

Fun Fact: Pasta is such a prevalent meal component in Italy that the government gives people with Celiac disease a stipend to spend on non-gluten alternatives.

"I have done nothing but genetically modified Zank to eat bread for 3 days."

0:45 - Zack actually has a nice advantage with this. Just take notes whenever your girlfriend says she likes something, but doesn't buy it, then go back later and buy it for her as a gift.

I love the irony of Zach telling Mike to buy new glasses instead of trying to fix his broken set and to not be stingy with his money, when he himself had chosen to file one of his own teeth instead of going to a dentist because he didn't want to pay for it.

"I do have regard! Contempt is regard." Has the same energy as, "Yeah I'm in shape! Round is a shape."

"If I drink beer, my body just goes [HORRIFIED SCREAM]." Wow, that's gotta be pretty miserable.

"It's fast math, doesn't mean it has to be right." -Mike (probably).

The confidence of that “48” for 37+15 was perfect, and as someone who can do mental math that fast when Mike said 48 I had a giant wave of confusion cause I thought I was wrong for thinking 52 instantly lol. I had to rewind to hear the question again

I remember when my father bought gluten-free bread because it was only 1 point. When he toasted it, it didn’t toast. At first, he thought the toaster was broken. I told him it was working fine before he put his “special” bread in it. He then got his blowtorch to burn it. It turned out that it took a full minute for the bread to start to brown. That was when he threw the rest of the loaf away. He said, “If it can’t burn, then it isn’t food.”

I am a simple man: I see "Campfire Stories" in the notifications bar and I come running like a kindergartener for story time.

Zach telling Mike to "Get new glasses" is just funny to me. Because instead of having his teeth filed down by a dentist, he just went to walmart, bought like a filing kit, and he did it himself. He is the last person to say, "Get new glasses." Edit: SPEAK OF THE FUCKING DEVIL THE SECOND STORY TALKS ABOUT TEETH.

Lactose intolerance basically means Zach doesn't have the enzymes necessary to break down the lactose proteins. Where as a milk allergy is basically having an allergic reaction to milk as a whole.

My dad was a gunsmith back in the 80's. He always said the best thing he ever bought for the job was a set of dental tools from our dentist.

I fucking love these guys stories. It's been said a million times but I'd kill for a podcast or anything from these two.

Mike sounded so confident in the 48 that i actually started to have second thoughts about the correct answer

"what's 37 + 15?" "48 done already, boom, bone." Lmfao he said that with such confidence that I actually believed he was right for a second.

I honestly love just how hard zach started laughing when he said "I don't know if I was right, But I did it fast" That's a like, sent reeling kind of laugh.

Kinda blows my mind that they took Zach into the army with him having so many health problems , and important ones at that , like celiac disease.

"Would you eat something if it had less than 2% rat droppings?" I seem to remember reading somewhere that some food and food adjacent products, such as coffee, actually do have a certain amount of rat droppings they are allowed to contain, because it's dried in the sun in huge batches, and it's impossible to keep the rats out.

As someone with mild celiacs (basically a strong intolerance), I can definitely recommend ‘Genius’ gluten free bread. It’ll still taste better toasted, but it’s half-decent not-toasted. The other thing is that for stuff to be considered gluten free it just needs to contain less than a specific percentage of gluten (it depends on the country, where I live it’s 2%). An example of this is Cider. Cider technically DOES contain gluten, however it’s such a small amount, that even someone like myself can drink it perfectly fine. Obviously check with your doctor, and be your own judge for what works best for you, but thought I’d speak my piece! Hope it helps Zach!!

Ah, we're continuing the story of Zach's inability to eat anything! Lovely.

18:58 I love that mike just shows off how smart he is, and how casual he is when he says 48. Despite the fact the answer is 52..

When Mike said he can do math quicker in his head, he didn't specify that the result had to be correct

Hey, someone with Celiac Disease here! What gluten does is not cause your stomach lining to slough off, it kills the villi in your intestines, preventing you from absorbing water and nutrients as that causes the surface area of your intestines to go way down, meaning that you absorb less.

"The only difference (between the VA and regular US healthcare) is that you don't have to pay thousands of dollars for it." No, you paid for it with the better part of your early adulthood and your overall mental and physical health.

18:29 I got petty good at doing simple math and probability questions quickly because of DnD. When your character of two years will live or die by your next roll, it may not increase your odds to know what you have to roll, but it does make you feel like you have a little more control

" I'm not pissing money away on guns! " " So, I saw a p90 on a shelf ...As I was looking for a revolver. " If you want to be a good artist: Step 1 - Ignore art history. Step 2 - Avoid people that talk about art history. Step 3 - Practice. Step 4 - Avoid everything that interferes with step 3. Step 5 - Step 3. Step 6 - Step 3. Step 7 - Step 3 and then Step 3. Step 8 - After you done with step 3 - don't forget to repeat step 3 in-between steps 3 and 3. You get the ide- Step 3.

At this point we need a podcast with these two

Bruh. I had an art history teacher who once spent 45 minutes talking about how cavemen's hair affected art. I also had a philosophy teacher who once spent an entire class period playing his guitar while lecturing about how anything can be a philosophy. It was 90 minutes of talking about nothing while he was tuning his guitar.

AWESOME! Zach finally found his P90. Happy for you my dude. Also Lactose intolerance is more common than people who can tolerate dairy.

I can somewhat relate to Mike and Zach’s SO in the first half-even though that I do have the means of making a small purchase to better my livelihood, such as fixing my glasses, I will always try to attempt some form of DIY Fix in order to save the couple dollars, like say, soldering a paper clip to mend it or something. My grandma is still the same way, but me and my dad have grown out of it. Back in the day in the countryside though, when they were eating barks off trees, can’t blame my gran. Old habits die hard.

I love these stories Mike

If zach ever gets told “you have about a week to live” I can bet he is going out on his own accord by eating pizza ,cheesy pasta and everything he loves and dies surrounded by his guns and food he loves

It sounds like zach is going to be shopping at whole foods now. I remember working there they had more gluten free stuff than anything else. Edit: if Zach finds a good recipe, baking bread is super fun and rewarding when. You get it right.

I didn't know Zach went to college. I assumed he just went into the workforce immediately after leaving the Army. Good for him.

Oh God Zach I feel ya on that one my mom and some members of my family are allergic to corn and EVERYTHING corn related thankfully it has skipped me for now but down the line is what is gonna ruin me

omg.. I love these guys. Always brightens my day

Zach, get a bread maker. It's literally a machine that you put the ingredients in and it and it makes bread

Zach, you sold a Benelli m4? You’re the goob!!!

I love it when they do these little conversations it's hilarious

I love these guys they're great

Great now that Zack has a p90 he can fight aliens with terribly inaccurate plasma spears

My family has a rule: "ask yourself 'do I really need this *right* now?'. If the answer is no, then think about it for a while. And the come back and its gone (or you decide you don't care that much)" It saves us a ton. You need that paper-thin waxed plastic floss stuff. Vegan cheese *has* improved, tbh. Its still a little funky but at least it melts down now, and not up. I mean, we *do* . IIRC, processed meat has a threshold for things like cockroach parts or rat shit. Which doesn't mean they're *free* of them.

Even before this video starts I know that’ll make me smile. Thank you for putting out this content

I had the same experience with the VA. I had a cyst in my wrist. After... (it's been a few years, I forget exactly) about 6-8 months, I got an appointment with a wrist doctor, over an hour away. I went there, was seen, and the doctor said, "You can cut this out, drain it, or wait it out." I said, "The reason I'm here is because 6 months ago I chose to cut it out." They said, "Okay, go to the receptionist, and we'll make an appointment for the surgery. THEY HAD ME MAKE AN APPOINTMENT, AN HOUR AWAY TO DISCUSS THE THING THEY ALREADY KNEW, AFTER HALF A YEAR. I go to the receptionist, and try to make an appointment, but I can't, because the scheduling system ONLY GOES OUT TWO MONTHS. That was in May, they called me in September, so it would have been 6 months for an appointment that, in their own words, "only takes about 15 minutes." Sorry to hear you've gotten similar experiences outside the VA. I live in a fairly unremarkable area on the outskirts of a city on the eastern half of PA, and when I need to see a doctor nearby, they're always like, "Sorry, is this urgent, or can it wait until Thursday?" for something I was looking to get checked out that Monday besides... yearly checkups usually take a couple weeks to schedule just because of the volume.

Man , the right earpiece of my glasses broke one day at school , so I just took some paper , folded it nicely and just stuffed the paper into where the attachment point is for the earpiece to the frame of the glasses , and I shit you not it worked perfectly. I used my glasses that way , for like , 3 months before I decided to get new earpieces lol.

19:18 that is the hardest i have ever heard zach laugh

You guys are the best personalities on RU-vid. I absolutely love the conversations these guys have!

I love the story telling from both of them, Zach reminded me that rush my teeth just nowwith his dental story.

The more of these videos I see, the more I think Zach and I are living parallel lives.

Man I can emphasize with having Celiac Disease. About 20 years ago I was seeing all kinds of doctors about stomach problems and they thought I might have it, so they had me go 3 months without gluten. Turns out that wasn't my problem, thankfully. But I know the pain of trying to find foods that had no gluten in. Basically 95% of what you could find in grocery stores and 99% of what you could find in restaurants or other prepared food you couldn't eat. Even things that you wouldn't think would have gluten do because of cheap filler. So it was like 'I hope you like rice, vegetables and meat prepared by yourself for the rest of your life, because that's all you can have.' It's better now with everyone freaking out about gluten, but not much. I still really can't eat stuff with bread or pizza much, but at least I don't have to cut out all gluten...

Just got back from bootcamp about a month ago and catching up on these has been a highlight. Love this stuff keep it up.

the character development throughout these campfire stories; i love you guys lmao i would listen to a podcast of campfire stories, but the playlist definitely carried me through all my crappy night shifts. thank you very much

Zach, please get your hand checked. Please don't get toxic shock

Can we take a moment to appreciate that they take the time to subtitle the entire video

Love it.

The friendship between these two is absolutely awesome.

So, I think I know what Zach's finger thing was. It was probably just an ingrown nail that got infected, which is why when he fucked around with it the fluid ended up getting drained and the pain went away. This happens to me occasionally and I just need to use either a safety pin or a sewing needle and some rubbing alcohol to pierce the skin and drain out the fluid. In fact, this happened to me 2 weeks ago!

*Sees Helltaker reference* I knew you two were men of taste.

as someone who's had celiac all my life, i so appreciated zach's rant about all the weird-ass things that have gluten in them for no good reason

I missed these so much

Last time I was this early, Zach was getting sent to anger management because he told his chief to "f*ck off"

I was just watching combat vet reacts vid on the Bradley story

Yay more campfire stories, they are my favourite videos

Ya i love this channel i binge watch these videos when im cleaning up at work. It makes the time go by when your laughing your ass off

Mike, we really need a podcast of just you and Zach talking / sharing stories

12:40 is just such a satisfying 'Yeah'

I watch this kind of videos to feel how its like to have friends to talk with

Great campfire episode as usual! I fell back n love with the P90 in Goldeneye for the N64, so it's awesome you got one for yourself. Thanks for these videos!

That ending was hysterical

God that last bit was like the most comedic, like the setup and little quips leading up to a big punchline. That was amazing xD

Love you guys)

More of these please!!!

I can legitimately do mental arithmetic faster in my head than typing it into a calculator. Though most of the time I don't have to as I can remember the answer. Like learning your times tables, but for addition, subtraction and division as well.

Mike... Zach... PLEASE. *START A PODCAST ALREADY!*

Yay, more story time!

Its always a good day when these two put out a video~

As always... this is pure gold. And my condolences Zach, I would to hate it to not be able to eat normal bread.

Tortilla chips Zach! They're fucking delicious.

I am so happy that I randomly found this channel

I wait for these every second i live

If anyone has that floss issue where it breaks between teeth, try chewing gum or one of those thin plastic straws around it. most of the time it comes right out.

Hell yeah, New campfire story right as I'm about to shower! Got my tunes for the shower!

It's actually really cool that these guys can make a video with a nearly still image captioning and just having a conversation. It's just cool as hell.

God, these guys need a podcast! Just listening to them ramble on about stuff is for some reason extremely enjoyable to me. It might be the tone of their voices, or their enthusiasm, or combination of the two. Idk but I just love it!

3:58 - Which brand of floss worked the best since you bought several different kinds?

Thank God another Campfire story! I've been needing my fix.

Really interesting to hear Zach talk about a photography class. Been doing it for almost 2 years and was thinking I can only gain from a class since there has to be something I can’t learn on my own, but also thinking it has to be a skill where experience is king.

I couldn't believe my eyes. IT'S FINALLY HERE!

I've been loving seeing your guys' videos being requested on reaction channels. You guys deserve as many fans as you can get.

I relate to the pain of having to be gluten free, I got a negative test for celiac's but an allergy test showed I'm allergic to wheat

OHHHHHHHHHH new story! Hell yea man

I laughed so hard at the end I almost choked, I love these guys.

Oh... oh Mike. I was there too dude. Buy glasses, you will be so grateful to yourself later my dude lmao.

4:48 sounds like a staph infection.

My grandpa was going to the va for years, man they are so good, so good in fact they didn’t catch his stage 4 cancer thru all those years, he felt like shit and went to the standard doctors and they found it right away, behind his eye, by his spine and one spot even ate thru one of his ribs. Now he’s gone. He found out a few months ago but to little to late.

Each time the talking stops and the fade-out beings I get really sad...then it fades back in with a new story and I celebrate that the video is in fact still going!