Baloney Bob - Campfire Stories 

"Is that a truck bumper?" "Yes sir" "Why is it in there?" "Has to go somewhere, sir." "I.... ah.... carry on."

Im not even joking ghost sounded really nice like "S'good" "Alright good night" "Sleep well"

I find it hilarious the juxtaposition between baloney bob being a man child and then the madlad of a kid at 19 being covered in scars and clearly knows how to handle their own

The fact that Zach was just thought to be a friendless dude with weeb drawing all over his room and a extreme love for guns makes the 21st birthday story and just all the military stories have such a funnier image in my brain

Ghost sounds like a pre pre war, Vincent Vincent

Theory: Ghost was an actual ghost haunting the barracks, he spends eternity smoking out front.

I was already laughing pretty hard, but Ghost's "Sleep well" absolutely put me over the edge

Baloney Bob was definitely sticking his Baloney into that BK Cup

Ghost sounds like a typical Fallout character. Did he ever bitch about wishing for a nuclear winter?

I just love the mental image. On one side of the room, you have Zach, who's wall is covered in anime drawings and who has a grody old wool blanket from the 50's Then you have Baloney Bob, who's particular brand of slobbery is so confusing that the inspecting officer didn't even think to act mad about it in the moment.

I sure as hell hope that Bologna Bob wasn’t multi-purposing that BK Cup.

Mike and Zach: We don't have many more stories to tell. Not as much happened in our military careers as you might think. Also Mike and Zach: **Miraculously find more stories**

Honestly, that bit about the burger king cup in the bathroom did not end as horribly as I was afraid of.

Baloney Bob just seems both overly complicated and overly simple all at once and i hate it

Gotta love the fact that when Zach mentions smile and wave things he would never do, God says let there be light!

The fact that Baloney Bob didn’t think to simply take a cup, fill it and pour the contents on his head makes this story funnier

Why does Ghost sound like a real life version of Vincent Vincent? Like... Was Vincent Vincent based off Ghost? Does Ghost also have Driver Nephi's golf club?

My best friend is like the guy who got shot 5 times. Sentences like, "And we were late to our meeting in Japan because the volcano exploded and they grounded all the planes, so we had to stay in the airport till it was safe to go outside again," are normal. He was in his teens at the time. You think its bullshit, till you see him pull pictures of the exploding volcano in the window of an airport with his dad in the background.

The cup was actually a funnel for his ketchup

I thought the Ghost Story (ba dum tss) would just go: “You ever seen a man’s balls in a vice?” “No Ghost, _thankfully_ I have never seen that.” “Yeah... me neither.”

I am certain Ghost was really Vincent. You CANNOT convince me otherwise.

Was Baloney Bob related to the drill Sargent that smelt like taco meat? I feel like there a secret underground meat smelling family slowly appearing in the Mikeburnfire cinematic universe

Ghost sounded like he had some PTSD on the way in.

These two are the definition of imma keep going out of spite

"He destroyed a bunch of car windows, and got sued for millions of dollars" jesus christ his poor familly

I was honestly expecting Mike to say "he'd look at me with these Dale Gribble eyes and go... patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a Nuclear winter"

At 7:37 I am wheezing. Bob sounds like the most crackhead Florida Man to ever join the army. I mean, the man doesn't even have a license, yet he owns a Chrysler Sebring, aka the official Florida Man Car.

I imagine him saying “oh baloney bob you character” as he shakes his head

Mike met an honest-to-god anime character

Baloney bob: “My goals are beyond your understanding.”

i love how the superior officer doing the inspection in this story isnt yelling, just very very confused

Ghost sounds way too much like a IRL Vincent Vincent...

I was watching Halo 2 cutscenes remastered and as soon as Master Chief was about to say “Sir, finishing this fight” I see the notification for this

Zack after awhile would just say to bob just “dammit bobby”

He was gonna make a bumper sword

“I didn’t know they let man-children serve in the military” Zach talking about his weeb drawings :P

I'm illiterate apparently and read Baloney as Ballooney. Thought they were talking about a friend they'd made with a balloon and some pipe cleaners.

Baloney Bob was definitely a Blue Falcon

Ghost sounds like he needs to be made into a new Vegas follower c:

"why do you have a 6 foot pillow of a foot?" im rolling

When I heard the part about the window smashing, I felt pain both in my heart about the cars and in my pocket when I heard millions

In the Chair Force there’s only one time I ever had any roommates, and that was in Tech School and I had a two roommates for the majority of the time I was there. I just wanted to say, A1C Muhammad and A1C Ariel if you’re reading this thank you for being the best most easy going roommates of all time. Those two guys were the best! Granted I didn’t know anything about them, we hardly talked at all with one another, but they were clean, well organized, not annoying, and they all kept to themselves. My Sheppard experience was less crappy thanks to them!

This video is going to be the perfect Father’s Day gift for my dad ….that and the pocket knives I got him Edit my dad had the most priceless reaction on the ball vice scene you really should’ve seen it he was going absolutely nuts😟

I am genuinely sorry you had to deal with someone like Baloney Bob. Having a roommate like that fucking sucks.

Mike conversation about ghost bruh he sound like scruffy the janitor from Futurama

Don't know why but the only time I laughed throught out the video was when Zach said: *_"YES. ME WANT GO ARMY, ME DRIVE TRUCK"_* My humor is so fucked up.

I'm glad that guy got to be Lance Corporal in the end, after having to go through boot camp twice

The best part is Mike pulled out some crazy answer of "Oh well maybe he liked to fill it with water and let it flow over his head" and Zach replies "How did you know?". It's fun when life is absurd.

Episode 4 Zach: I DON'T LIKE FEET STAHP MIKE! Zach now: Laughs and makes his own foot fetish jokes

*Zach starts talking:* "I had a roommate when I was at Fort Polk..." *Me:* Here we go. That's why we all are here.

Did Ghost wear a mask, or hang out with a British guy named Jonathan Price, or go to a group called Task Force 141.

The Burger King cup thing I can actually understand. I have hydrophobia, so I also do not like my head underwater. I _will_ start hyperventilating.

okay we need more Ghost stories he sounds like a interesting person

Did anyone else misread this as "Balcony Bob?" I thought he was gonna tell a story about a guy who would always hangout or sleep on a balcony

"Sir, I'll give you $20 do drink whatever's in that cup" I literally spit out my toothpaste and had to clean my mirror

I legit wanna spend an evening with Ghost... He sounds like someone that'd be fun to hang with... Especially since I don't talk very much, we'd just be there saying a couple sentences a piece and just quietly chilling.

Bologna Bob sounds like every roomies WORST WORST nightmare

Can someone animate the “mosquitos were spawning in the toilet” but use CS classic spawn sounds

the mason jar was probably filled with passionately homemade craft ketchup, or Burger King ketchup

Its funny baloney bob could be watching this but will never admit it

Mike's Ghost voice sounds exactly like Vincent

god, i was expecting something COMPLETELY different as to why that man carved a hole on the inside of a burger king soda cup, if you know what i mean

Hey, those blankets are comfortable in the winter time.

If you think the Army was bad for man children, you should swing by Naval Nuclear Power Training Center in Goose Creek. Actually, no, you shouldn't.

Big question for Zach, why were you called Hazard in the military

I was hoping we'd get to hear the tale of Bologna Bob after last episode I was not disappointed

My dad had pneumonia during the end of his boot camp and he didn't eant to do it again so he made it to the end of boot camp while being ill. Officers back then pushed you so hard but even they werent as crazy as my dad.

Ghost sounds like an IRL Vincent Vincent.

i'm heading off to university pretty soon and i am TERRIFIED of having a roommate like baloney bob. i can't stand people that never clean up after themselves.

I went through boot twice, because I busted my shoulder the first time around. Once it had healed, I had to start over - that little bit of experience I'd gained before helped quite a bit three years down the line. But not as much as the experience of the guy in the next squad bay over on my first round. He had double citizenship, so he had gone to do his military service first in his father's country - Vietnam. And then, some time later, he had finished some school (I think he was a professional cook) he had to go and do his Finnish service before he got too old for it (he was in his early twenties, about my age, at the time). He could field-strip an RK-62 in about three seconds flat, and put it back together blind-folded in about ten, and while he wasn't that good on our drill (everyone has different drill), he was hell on two legs in combat practice. Sadly, we did shooting days by squads, not a full platoon at a time, so I never saw him shoot.

I like how on their own they are good, Zach is funny and interesting and Mike is entertaining and kinda calming but together they are some odd fusion of stupidity, genius, irresponsibility, responsibility and all in all completely fun

"Why do you have a 6 foot pillow of a foot?" Foot fetishists: Shut up and take my money!

So did anybody imagine Pvt.Pile from full metal jacket as baloney bob?

I love hearing from you guys. Makes my day every time.

I was terrified that cup with a hole was gonna go the route of that mlp jar story

Zach laughing at the 6 foot pillow line is awesome

mike : *uploads nee campfire stories* me : oh sweet new bedtime stories :DD

11:43 Ghost sounds like IRL Vincent XD

"Why do you have 6 feet pillow...of a foot" lost it a bit xD

I always love these stories. I never served in the military or anything of that sort. I merely love living vicariously through Zach and Mike.

You guys should make a campfire story of nothing but you guys telling all the jokes you know, but instead of just saying jokes, you should make it like you're trying to 1-up each other.

There needs to be a tv show about mike and ghost

Not sure if it’s the horrific visualization of a man who smells like bologna, or the constant misspelling of bologna. This video makes me want to Minecraft myself into a pile of bologna

OH i was just thinking "Hey I'd assume with the military you'd get a few people you just didnt get along with, i wonder if they have any stories of that"

"11 minutes ago" I've never been this early for a campfire story!

Here I thought I was one of the worst People to exist when it comes to being a roommate. *_But then there's Baloney Bob_*

Ghost sounds like the kind of guy I would want to be friends with. That dry sense of humor is just fuckin neat!

This is the 5th time I've watched this video, and the "why do you have a 6 foot pillow, of a foot?" got me again. That always kills me. Every time I hear that, I'm dieing of laughter.

It's story time, kids

Army veteran here. I was active duty for 5 years, and my training was OSUT at Leonard Wood. Suffice it to say, I have plenty of ridiculous stories to share, if you guys ever want some material. Hit me up. (I was a 31B by the way, so shit gets even weirder)

"Why do you have a 6-foot pillow... OF A FOOT!?"

That was the most authentic pig squeal done by a human

I had an instructor in my MOS school in the Marine Corps who had gone through boot camp twice because he dropped out for medical reasons the first time. Really makes me wonder if it’s the same guy lmao

Baloney Bob was a fae and you can't convince me otherwise

I love you guys, I suffer from bipolar 2 and depression and you guys make me laugh and brighten up my day just a little more each time I see your videos.

These are the best videos ever, you just sit and listen like it's a actual campfire. It's awesome

Everyone in the military has their Baloney Bob. I had a guy in basic, when I was in medhold for a month, who, in the middle of the night, would make this low bouncing noise in his bunk. Everyone just assumed he was wacking it. Turns out, he had carved a little hole in the mattress. He was fucking his bed. We had to wrap the damn mattress in plastic wrap to take it down for disposal.

I'm f*cking light headed from laughing.

I adore these stories so much you guys have something amazing experiences can't wait to hear more

Here’s a story, it’s from my Father’s career in the USMC. Back during boot camp when they were graduating, one of his buddies decided to pull a prank. What they had done is steal a DI’s hat specifically a Master Sergeant DI, insignia and the such. And he went over to the other company’s area where the DIs didn’t know him. So for a good couple hours he just went around messing with people, yelling at them, getting to do tasks, including other DIs. Until about 4 hours in one of the DIs who recognized him went, “Hey! That’s Recruit Smith!” And they just started chewing him out, but this was like on the day before they graduate so they found it hilarious but still chewed him out. Like at the end of the day there was just a circle of like six DIs yelling at him all at once.